Guidance is Closer Than You Think...

LEARN HOW TO TRUST YOUR BODY'S INHERENT INTUITION

By Laurie Ure, LICSW

As a body-oriented psychotherapist, I guide my clients to check in with their bodies to help them make confident decisions. For example, a client recently struggled with whether to go on the second interview for a potential new job. Many aspects of her current job caused her unhappiness. In contrast, the new job offered higher pay, better working conditions, and a more supportive environment. It seemed a natural move.

However, as we talked, she realized that her current job provided stability and flexibility, which reduced stress in her family responsibilities. She struggled with uncertainty about whether she needed to put her family's needs first in this situation. Or, instead, if this was a situation to prioritize her needs which is not her habit. On the surface, it appeared that this might be a time to put herself first.

I said to her, "What are you aware of in your body as you think about going on the second interview for the new job?" She responded with immediate clarity. "I feel my heart beating faster, my breathing is shallower, and I have knots in my stomach."

Next, I directed her to consider what she noticed in her body as she considered staying at her current job. First, she reported feeling more relaxed and calmer. Then, spontaneously, she took a deep breath.

As we discussed her responses, she reflected that putting her family's needs first felt best to her in this situation. She realized that she would likely be better positioned to change jobs and manage the stress inherent with this over the summer when her husband would be more available. Her body provided valuable information that overrode the chatter of her mind.

DECISIONS, DECISIONS, AND MORE DECISIONS

We often have to make choices that significantly impact our lives with limited information. Decisions about life directions such as accepting a job or promotion, who to date, or where to live can be overwhelming. Even more minor decisions like what to eat, exercise routines, where to go on vacation, and how to spend time can be challenging.

Constant dealings with uncertainty can lead to stress and cause anxiety. Learning to listen to your body's responses can help to override the confusion in your mind and guide your choices.

YOUR MIND AND BODY CAUGHT IN THE CROSS-FIRE

Your mind may get caught in weighing the pros and cons of decisions. You may want to please others or be unclear about what is best for you. Input from people close to you can influence your choices as well.

Your body, meanwhile, picks up a significant amount of information that bypasses mental confusion. Information from your senses, including what you actually feel, often provides a more straightforward source of input. Following this guidance may mean disappointing people in your life or going against what you might initially think you want. But, generally, it will lead you in the direction of what feels best for you.

LEARN HOW TO TAKE QUEUES FROM YOUR BODY

Try the following exercise: Start by putting your feet flat on the floor if possible. It helps to be in a quiet place where you can focus. If you wish, put one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly about 2" below your navel. Bring awareness to your breath. As you breathe in, push your feet gently into the ground. As you breathe out, relax.

After a few minutes, consider a decision currently on your mind - either about something significant or a more minor issue. Then, notice what happens in your body as you think about following one path. At first, aim to observe without judging it or figuring out what it means. Then, as you ponder going in a different direction, notice what happens in your body.

You may want to jot a few sentences about your experience. Then, write what you observed to reflect on the process. Did your body's response surprise you? Is your body's message clear? If not, explore it further.

Sometimes thinking about moving in a particular direction feels scary. This can manifest in your body as tension - in your gut, shoulders, or elsewhere. Check-in with yourself to notice if, beneath the fear, you feel excitement as you consider following that direction or, instead, perhaps a sense of dread.

After doing the exercise, if the decision does not become clear to you, take an action to move in one direction and then do the exercise again. Sometimes you need more information before clarity emerges.

With practice, listening to the messages of your body can help you gain clarity more quickly and reduce stress from making decisions. As you follow your path, may you move in the direction of satisfaction, pleasure, and joy!

Laurie Ure, LICSW practices as a bioenergetic psychotherapist in Gloucester, MA. At her website, www.laurieure.com, you can learn how bioenergetic therapy helps people recover their natural vitality and increase their capacity to enjoy life! You can find similar posts, along with pictures of nature and her cute dog on: Instagram @laurieure, Facebook at Bioenergetic Therapy with Laurie Ure, LICSW, Twitter @laurie_ure, and on Medium @laurieure.