Woman Newspapers, Dauphin County, November/December 2015

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dauphin county edition november & december 2015

in this issue: the GivinG issue

deb baer becker:

to the rescue

charity: make every cent count

special insert: 2016 caregiver central pa Guide

We are not primarily put on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through.

Peter De Vries

Photo: In The Moment Photography by Hollis.

Publisher’s Note Perfect Santas we are not So, you’re a veteran shopper of sales and this year you scored the perfect gift for your fashion-conscience sister: a gorgeous cashmere sweater from Neiman Marcus marked down to a bargain price. Wrapping the sweater in it’s beautiful silver gift box, you’re downright giddy. Then you pause. Even though you paid the same amount for each gift, next to the book your brother asked for, the inequity bothers you.

Welcome to the time of year when we express ourselves not in our words or actions but in our gifting chops.

With all the wonderful things about the holiday season, it’s a shame that giving gifts can cause us so much stress. It’s true that there are rules of etiquette that come with gift giving, but everyone’s interpretation of the unwritten rules is different.

Grown adults give their empty-nester parents gifts they neither need nor use. Wellintentioned crafters are crushed when a handmade gift is unwrapped to a lukewarm response. And there’s the feuds breaking out among families for gifts that didn’t go over well.

For most of us, especially when it comes to the people closest to us, we want to surprise them. It takes a hundred times more effort, but that’s OK - those are the gifts people really treasure, right? It turns out that- surprise!- people don’t like surprises as much as we think they do.

We search high and low for the perfect gift, one that proves just how well we know them. But research shows that going the extra mile to be more creative can actually backfire if being creative means ignoring other’s wish lists. People who receive gifts from their wish list actually deem the giver more thoughtful, not less.

But can you argue with wanting to make the recipient happy and giving them what they want? Isn’t that the whole point of gift giving?

When it comes to the unwritten rules of gift-giving, there is really one simple rule of thumb: Gift giving is not about you. By ignoring wish lists, we wrongly assume we will be seen as more thoughtful than if we gave the recipient something he or she specifically requested.

Which brings me to another point: gift giving is a lovely and meaningful gesture, but in reality it can be pointlessly wasteful when you consider the countless gifts exchanged every year that end up unused, trashed, donated or regifted. All that money could have gone toward things that would be truly useful and appreciated.

If you’re worried that buying off someone’s wish list will make you seem lazy, squelch that thought! Look at your friend’s and family’s holiday wish lists as an opportunity to learn more about what they like. You may find that - though your job of finding the gift might not be easier - it will certainly be more interesting.

As adults, making a Christmas list is tacky, right? That’s what Miss Manners, aka Judith Martin, thinks. She says sharing a list makes people appear greedy and robs the giver of the opportunity to be thoughtful or creative.

Louise Sukle Editor & Publisher

editor & publisher Louise Sukle lsukle@womannewspapers.com

contributors Kathryn Baxter kathrynbaxter@gmail.com

creative director Julianna Sukle julianna@pressandjournal.com

Kathryn Baxter is a writer living in Brooklyn, NY. Find her online at womannewspapers.com/Kathryn-Baxter

sales manager Dave Brown daveb@pressandjournal.com ACCOUNT EXECTUTIVES Dauphin County: Tina Rinehart (717) 421-3247 tinarinehart@pressandjournal.com Cumberland County: Pam Rux (717) 433-6779 pamrux@pressandjournal.com sales assistant Sara Egan saraegan@pressandjournal.com

Brenda Tadych sumthin2say@hotmail.com Brenda Tadych is a lifelong resident of Dauphin County, currently residing in Middletown. Find her online at womannewspapers.com/Brenda-Tadych

Deb Baer Becker dbbecker2@yahoo.com Deb advocates for women’s breast health, and writes about her experience surviving breast cancer. She’s writing a book about her years as a young airman with the USAF Thunderbirds. She holds an MFA in Writing from Pacific University, and is the proud mother of two adult-sized children and two rescued dogs.

She lives in Houston, Texas, but dreams of her native Pennsylvania’s rolling hills and cut-away fields. Find her online at womannewspapers.com/ Deb-Baer-Becker

Lisa Houserman houserman46@gmail.com Lisa Houserman writes a weekly column, Lisa’s Rants and Raves, for the Community News in western Crawford County, PA. Find her online at womannewspapers.com/Lisa-Houserman

Woman Newspapers are free bimonthly publications of Press And Journal Publications. All rights reserved. For submission requirements, e-mail info@womannewspapers.com. No part of the newspapers may be reprinted or duplicated without permission.

Visit us online at womannewspapers.com | (717) 944-4628 | 20 South Union Street, Middletown, PA 17057 NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015 Woman Newspapers 3

S

omething comes over me during late fall. I’m no snow bunny, so it’s not as though the upcoming ski season excites me. I handle 90 degrees much better than 30 degrees. But there’s something about the colder weather, the first snowfall, and pending holidays that bring a Norman Rockwell kind of nostalgia to me.

As a child, winter was all about school snow days and sledding. The morning news commentator would run down an alphabetical list of school closings, leaving me in high suspense. When my anticipation was rewarded with, “No school today,” it meant stomach launches or sitting upright on the sled were the only decisions I’d have to make that day.

I enjoy the holiday season and the beauty of a snowfall differently now. I still want to cheer when the local news channel announces that my alma mater declares a snow day. Although my sledding days are long gone and my enthusiasm for shoveling that snow has waned, I have other favorite things now; like the silence after a fresh blanket of snow.

I love, love, love Christmas music, and the older the song, the better. I’m talking about the music on vinyl albums from the 60’s; the ones by Bing Crosby, Rosemary Clooney, and Nat King Cole. You bet I still have – and play – those albums, complete with the sticker showing they were purchased at Kresge’s for $1.98. The background static doesn’t distract me. I rather enjoy it.

I don’t even mind if radio stations start playing Christmas tunes at Thanksgiving. I start playing them in October. Somebody get me a cup of cocoa and a peppermint stick!

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Woman Newspapers NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015

Another favorite holiday tradition is watching classic Christmas movies. Call me crazy, but Christmas season is not officially recognized in our home until we watch the original 1947 version of “Miracle on 34th Street.”

I like to see how many different versions of Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” I can watch in a season. It’s comforting to know that whatever version I watch, the Fezziwigs will dance and celebrate to their hearts’ content, and nephew Fred will steadfastly refuse to give in to Scrooge-ness. I can’t get enough of this tale.

“It’s a Wonderful Life” delivers its own version of Christmas past, present and future and is on my Christmas Movies-To-Watch-Every-Year list. How delightful is Clarence the angel, persevering with hopeless George? He’s the most charming angel ever (even if he is only an AS2-Angel Second Class). My fondness for the sound of church bells comes from watching this movie. Surely, I’m not the only one who believes an angel gets their wings whenever a bell rings?

Staying warm indoors is not the only way to enjoy winter and the holidays, There’s no bad time to go to the beach, and my third favorite thing is traveling to the shore to enjoy their seasonal festivities. Beach towns from Ocean City, Maryland to Cape May, New Jersey keep Christmas traditions alive with costumed carolers, horsedrawn carriages, parades and tree lightings. It doesn’t hurt that the stores welcome holiday shoppers with hot cider and cookies and some red-hot end-of-season sales.

The Farmer’s Almanac is predicting a frigid winter. True, I get slightly depressed when the days get shorter and the weather colder, but that’s OK. When the cold bites, when the wind stings, making me feel sad, I’ll simply remember these favorite things, and then I won’t feel so bad.

2015 estate planning and tax changes by jan l. brown, attorney at law

It seems estate planning and tax planning laws change every year and 2015 was no exception.

Below are three changes that may impact your 2015 estate planning, income tax planning, and any year-end tax planning.

Powers of Attorney Documents. On January 1, 2015, Powers of Attorney documents changed regarding the requirements for signing the document, the duties and responsibilities of the agent and the Notice page requirements.

A Power of Attorney is the legal document that allows the principal (i.e. you) to appoint someone (the “agent”) to act for you in certain and specific circumstances. Powers of Attorney documents signed prior to the new changes should still be effective but if your Powers of Attorney document(s) are older than 5 years, or if you have had life changes to you or your family, we recommend having the document(s) reviewed. It is very important that Powers of Attorney documents are drafted to meet your specific interests, needs and circumstances.

Healthcare Insurance. The Affordable Care Act (ACA and aka Obama Care) imposes a penalty on adults who do not have health

insurance. In 2015, the penalty doubled from 1% to 2% of the non insured adult’s income or $95, whichever is greater. If someone does not have healthcare insurance, it is recommended he/she investigate the State’s exchange or the federal government’s health insurance exchange to see if health insurance can be purchased. In some cases, there are subsidies available that help with the costs.

Gifting and Taxes. Annual Gift Exclusion.

Many people make monetary gifts to their family members, especially at year-end. There are tax laws that govern gifts including the amount of a gift that can be made without notifying the IRS or paying tax on the gift. In 2015, a person can give as much as $14,000 per person within the calendar year without having to inform the IRS; this means no record or IRS filing is required. If a gift is made that is over the annual gift exclusion amount, a record and a gift tax filing is required. Gifts of $14,000 or less (again, made in a calendar year) are not taxable to the recipient either. The $14,000 amount is called the annual gift exclusion amount; it did not increase in 2015.

Federal Estate Tax Exemption. This exemption is for persons who have very large estates or assets at the time of their deaths. This tax applies only to estates of over $5,430,000 which is the exemption amount.

There is no federal estate tax on estates that have $5,430,000 or less. Estates that have

WHO makes the financial decisions in your house?

more than the exemption amount are taxed on the amount over the exemption amount.

Persons who are married can each have their own exemption allowing a married couple to pass $10,860,000 to their beneficiaries without paying federal estate tax. This amount does increase every year.

Remember, if you have changes with your health, finances, living arrangements or families, it is wise to have your estate planning documents reviewed to ensure they still meet your needs. If there are no changes, we recommend you review your documents every five years to make sure they are up-to-date with any law changes.

Jan L Brown and Associates is a law firm founded in 1993 to help families. The firm has over 46 years of combined experience and practices exclusively in the areas of estate planning , probate and elder law.

Estate planning includes Wills, Powers of Attorneys, Living Wills, Trusts, Tax Planning , Special Needs Trusts and Guardianships. Elder law addresses the legal issues of seniors, their families and those who care for them including obtaining benefits, such as Medicare, Medicaid and VA benefits and protecting assets from nursing home care costs. The information presented is for educational purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice as every client and situation is different and requires specific review and analysis. If you would like an appointment, please call (717) 541- 5550.

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Tina Rinehart (717) 421-3247 tinarinehart@pressandjournal.com Dauphin Co. Senior Account Excecutive

Pam Rux (717) 433-6779 pamrux@pressandjournal.com Cumberland Co. Account Excecutive

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Attorney Christa Aplin

Members of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015 Woman Newspapers 5

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Avoid emotional investment decisions submitted by chris dixon, edward jones financial advisor

You’ve probably got some strong feelings about some of your investment goals, such as sending your children to college, retiring comfortably and so on. But to reach those goals, you’ll need to take the emotions out of investing.

People who let their emotions govern their investment decisions may make ill-advised moves, such as trying to “cut their losses” by selling investments whose price has dropped – even though it may actually be a good time to buy, not sell.

Emotional investing can also lead investors

to chase after so-called “hot” stocks, or focus only on short-term results, or even take a “time out” from investing when the markets are volatile.

But the best investors create a strategy that’s appropriate for their needs. They stick with this strategy for the long term, only making adjustments as needed – not in response to today’s headlines.

It can be difficult to invest successfully – but it may be easier if you invest with your head, and not your heart.

Chris Dixon, your Edward Jones financial advisor located at 29 S. Union St., Suite 110, Middletown, PA 17057 or (717) 944-1206.

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Woman Newspapers NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015

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WANT TO KNOW MORE? Dauphin County: Tina Rinehart (717) 421-3247 tinarinehart@pressandjournal.com Cumberland County: PAM RUX (717) 433-6779 pamrux@pressandjournal.com

Our furry friends need your help by laurie yost

The holidays are right around the corner and it is a time of joy and festivity! For many it is also a time of charitable giving, it gives us feelings of euphoria and happiness to do for others.

One way to make a huge difference this holiday season is to help local dogs in need.

There are many ways you can make life better for rescue dogs in your area. Volunteering to walk dogs, give baths or take pictures are a few ways to help.

There are many rescues that need donations of “wish list” items for the animals. Monetary donations can be used towards offsetting veterinary bills or to purchase supplies.

One amazing way to help is to become a foster family. Fostering allows the rescue to save a dog’s life and better enables them to find the dog a loving forever home.

Most rescues will cover all expenses and provide caregivers with necessary supplies and food for the foster dog; all you do in return is provide them with a caring temporary home, training and lots of love, of course.

When foster dogs find their forever home it is certainly bittersweet, but you can be proud

of helping another dog in need! What a great way to make a difference in the lives of our furry friends this holiday season and beyond.

So, whether you buy needed items, volunteer your time, or donate money this holiday season, your giving is more than just a year-end chore.

You can help jumpstart a cascade of generosity through your community. And don’t be surprised if you find yourself benefiting from a big dose of happiness and doggie kisses in the process.

For more information on how to obtain a wish list for animals or how to become a pet foster family contact Playful Pups Retreat at 717.689.3408 www.playfulpupsretreat.com or Now Wear This! at 717.361.0535 www.nowwearthis.biz.

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Talk to family about advanced directives

by cheryl h dawson bsn, rn, director of staff enhancement, spring creek rehabilitation

Have you taken any time to consider your end of life care? Have you talked to your loved ones? This is often a difficult discussion to have with loved ones, but thinking about this subject now, before crucial decisions must be made, can significantly improve your end of life care.

Advancements in technology and medical care over the past century have undoubtedly increased life spans. Conversely, these advances have also created some complex end of life issues.

Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR) is one of the medical interventions that have often been at the heart of ethical dilemmas in patient care situations, when CPR may seem cruel. Do-Not-Resuscitate (DNR) orders are employed to allow natural death and CPR is not performed.

A DNR refers specifically to a patient who has no respirations and no pulse. Therefore, a patient that has a DNR order who is exhibiting signs of respiratory distress requires appropriate interventions. It must be made very clear that

8

DNR does not equal do not treat1. Sometimes there is a misconception that foregoing CPR implies that other interventions may be withheld. These different perceptions create miscommunication and highlight the importance of establishing a common understanding.

Some families struggle with the idea that a DNR order is giving permission to end a loved one’s life. It is important to establish mutual understanding between the patient, family and healthcare provider to ensure that appropriate level of care is provided.

Advanced directives are one way to make your wishes known. Facing death is challenging enough without the added stress that a family in discord can create for all involved.

Nursing care is often centered on the idea of positive outcomes, however, nursing care also is provided to the dying. Care planning transitions from interventions that promote life to the interventions that prevent suffering.

This can be a difficult period of adjustment for patients and family, so please talk with your family today about your wishes.

For more information on advanced directives and making you wishes known please visit https://agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes.

Reference: 1Jezewski, M. A. (1996). Obtaining consent for donot-resuscitate status: advice from experienced nurses. Nursing Outlook, 44(3), 114-119

Woman Newspapers NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015

& spa

Having beautiful skin is not as difficult as it might seem. The type of skin you have is mainly determined by traits you inherited from your parents, but other factors such as nutrition and daily skin care also play a role.

The foundation of good-looking skin starts with eating the right foods. That means a well-balanced diet high in vitamins A, B, C and D and plenty of antioxidants. A vitamins are abundant in deep orange and yellow vegetables, such as carrots, sweet potatoes, pumpkin and squash. B vitamins, Thiamin, Riboflavin, Niacin, B-6 and B-12, are found in a wide variety of foods. For example, whole-grain breads and cereals, dry beans and peas, lean pork and liver all contain Thiamin, vitamin B-1. Milk and other dairy products, leafy green vegetables, eggs, meat and fish contain Riboflavin, vitamin B-2. Niacin can be found in peanuts, meat, fish, dry beans and peas, and whole-grain breads and cereals. Vitamin B-6 is especially high in liver and kidneys, nuts, meat and fish, dry beans and peas, and whole grains. Vitamin B-12 is naturally found in all animal foods, such as eggs, meat, fish and dairy products. Fruits and vegetables are the only natural source of vitamin C, especially dark green vegetables, like broccoli and spinach, and deep yellow vegetables, like carrots, sweet potatoes and cantaloupe. Milk is the best source of Vitamin D and is an excellent

nutrient for skin, bones and teeth.

Water is another essential ingredient for healthy skin. Drinking six to eight glasses of water a day will help keep the top layers of skin from drying out.

Foods to stay away from include white potatoes, pasta, white bread and rice. These simple carbohydrate foods convert to sugar, raising insulin levels, and can cause a chemical reaction resulting in acne. Certain foods, such as spices, cured meats and foods prepared with MSG, can dilate blood vessels in the skin, so if you want to look your best, perhaps you should eat something else.

Also, don’t smoke. Cigarette smoking reduces circulation to the outer layers of skin.

Some common skin care mistakes include thinking that “if a little works, more will work better.” This is not true. Using a facial scrub for exfoliating is fine if used in moderation or if done by a professional. Getting rid of those dead skin cells once a week is actually good for your skin, but using an exfoliator every day or leaving it on for longer than recommended can damage the healthy living skin in the upper layers of your face. Potential damage can include pigment changes or scarring.

Your skin is more than something that just covers your body. It is a live organ that is constantly changing. Be kind to it by eating right, drinking plenty of water and taking proper care of it.

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The search for the right mechanic submitted by dove’s auto repair, inc. and dove’s auto repair east, inc.

Have you ever had to look for a plumber, a physician or some other professional? If you have, then you know how time consuming it can be. Sometimes it takes several weeks to find just the right professional for you. The same can be said of finding the right professional for your vehicle. It can take some time to find a good mechanic.

As with the search for any professional, you need to do your homework. Stay away from any mechanics who have a bad reputation.

When you have a list of potential candidates, stop in for a visit and take note of the following: Appearance. Is the shop generally neat and orderly? How new is the equipment? Is it in good condition?

Specialties. What type of vehicles does the mechanic service? Is yours one of them? What type of repairs do they specialize in?

Skills. What are the mechanic’s qualifications? Do you see any trade school diplomas or certificates of advanced coursework hanging up? Do they answer clients’ questions in layman’s terms?

Policies. What are the rates for parts, labor

and service? Does the mechanic offer repair estimates or work guarantees? What type of payment methods do they accept?

Staff. Is the staff courteous? Are they willing to answer questions? Do you see any civil, community or customer service awards hanging on the walls?

These are just some of the areas you should concentrate on as you check out each of the mechanics on your list. Once you have studied and are satisfied with the mechanic’s performance in each of the areas, schedule an appointment with the ones remaining on your list for a small service like an oil change. That way, you can get a feel for their work without shelling out a ton of money. If the mechanic takes too long, charges too much or worse, does shoddy work, you can cross them off your list.

At this point, choosing the right mechanic may just be a matter of personal preference, that is, deciding which mechanic you like and get along with the best.

It may take some time, but finding the right mechanic will pay off big the next time your vehicle breaks down and needs a major repair.

Start looking today!

Your well-being, comfort & joy submitted by elements massage

Breast Cancer- Massage promotes relaxation and reduces anxiety in patients with varying kinds of cancer, and has proven especially effective breast cancer survivors. Research shows therapeutic massage is an effective complement to traditional medical care for women undergoing lumpectomy, mastectomy or breast reconstruction. Pre-surgery, massage relaxes muscle tissue and increases the flow of lymph. Post surgery, women who apply specialized lymph drainage techniques from a well-trained massage therapist to their treatment may experience less pain and swelling.

In a study performed by the University Of Miami School Of Medicine, breast cancer patients who were massaged three times a week reported lower levels of depression, anxiety and anger. Benefits of massage after breast cancer treatment also include boosting the immune system and helping women reconnect with their bodies.

Other Kinds of Cancer - Researchers at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center asked cancer patients about the severity of their

symptoms before and after receiving massage therapy, and patients reported reduced levels of anxiety, pain, fatigue, depression and nausea.

Anxiety - Researchers at the University Of Miami School Of Medicine reviewed studies that measured the stress hormone cortisol in participants before and immediately after massage and found that the therapy lowered levels by up to 53 percent. Massage also increased serotonin and dopamine, which are both neurotransmitters that help reduce depression.

Migraines - In a 2006 study published in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine, massage therapy recipients exhibited fewer migraines and better sleep quality than the control group.

A 1998 study published in the International Journal of Neuroscience found that massage therapy decreased the occurrence of headaches, sleep disturbances and distress symptoms in adults with migraines.

For more information and to schedule appointments for yourself or a loved one call us at 717.746.6277.

We are located in The Colonial Commons Shopping Center at 5072 Jonestown Rd., Suite 3, Harrisburg , PA 17112 elementsmassage.com/harrisburg

Give the gift of peace.

Harrisburg - 717.746.6277 5072 Jonestown Rd, Ste 3 elementsmassage.com/harrisburg Massage session includes time for consultation and dressing. New clients only. Limited time offer. May not be combined with other offers or discounts. The Elements Promise™ is not transferable and may not be redeemed for cash, bartered or sold. Other restrictions may apply; see studio for details. Each Elements Massage™ studio is independently owned and operated.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015 Woman Newspapers 9

Pay it forward this holiday season by christopher meehan, director of development, catholic charities

One of my favorite movies is “Pay It Forward.”

It’s a story about a young boy who used a homework assignment to develop a plan that will change the world.

The basic premise is rather than paying back someone for a favor they do for you, you should pay it forward by doing favors for three others. Those three will help three more people, and so forth.

Each of us has been blessed in some sort of way. I personally am thankful for my family, my health, my job, and countless other things. My life isn’t perfect, but when things get me down, it doesn’t take long to realize that I am luckier than a lot of people. When I look at things that way, I count my blessings.

This holiday season, I urge you think about the many blessings in your own life. And then, think about those who aren’t as fortunate. And then pay it forward.

There are many wonderful organizations in your community that do fantastic things every day to help those in need. In order to do this,

these groups rely on the support of others who donate their time, talent, and treasure to their causes. This year, think about what you can do to help make a difference: make a contribution to your favorite charity, purchase gifts for an Angel Tree Project, volunteer at a shelter, etc. Actions such as these will not only help someone in need. They also are the ideal way to help pay it forward in appreciation for the many blessings we have received.

Best wishes for the 2015 Holiday Season and for a prosperous 2016!

For more information on how to help pay it forward - be it on a volunteer, financial or a Charitable Gift Annuity in Central Pennsylvania please call our office at 717.657.4804.

Be the role model she’ll always remember.

Catholic Charities Diocese of Harrisburg, PA

PROVIDING

HELP.

CREATING

HOPE.

Behavioral Health Counseling Residential Programs Immigration and Refugee Services Youth And Family Services f

717-657-4804 www.cchbg.org

Many thanks to many volunteers by suzanne moore, chief operations officer, girl scouts in the heart of pennsylvania

C 10

Volunteer today!

Visit girlscouts.org/join

Woman Newspapers NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015

This holiday season I am thankful for volunteers. This time of year people are making time in their busy schedules to find a way to give back-and they give back in a big way! Volunteers play a vital role in nonprofit organizations that enables them to accomplish amazing feats in our community.

One hour of volunteer labor in the state of Pennsylvania is worth $22.63. As organizations tally up all their volunteers and the amount of time they give it is easy to see that the calculated worth of volunteers exceeds far past many organizations’ budgets. Simply put volunteers are priceless to nonprofit organizations, but we need a new generation of volunteers and role models to guide them.

Unfortunately, research shows that less than 16% of volunteers give their time mentoring youth. Girls especially are in need of connecting with strong, positive female leaders that can help them recognize their strengths, be a team member, and help girls lead positive changes in their communities.

Only 22% of girls say that being a leader is one of their top goals; however more than 50%

of girls want to make helping others a priority.

They want to take that step into leadership, but don’t know how. In fact, less than 10% of girls have tried to change something they didn’t like in their neighborhoods.

When volunteers work with girls, they can give them the power to make change in their communities. Let’s make it a goal to volunteer and show girls that they have the power, skills, and passion to make a difference not just during the holidays, but every day of the year!

Girl Scouts offers a wide range of programs that brighten a girl’s future while giving her the opportunity to make the world a better place alongside her friends. Give back to your community by investing time and talents in girls. For more information about Girl Scouts, please visit www.gshpa.org or call 800692-7816.

Stay Safe while shopping online

Online shopping is here to stay. People have discovered the convenience of filling up their virtual shopping cart and are hitting the “order” button now more than ever. Items are rarely out of stock online, and you don’t have to deal with carts left out in the middle of the aisle. Online shopping is quick, convenient and easy in many ways, but it also has its risks. It’s the information age and sharing your personal and financial information in cyberspace leaves you open to hackers and other thieves who utilize the Internet.

It is always safer to shop online with businesses you know. If you are not familiar with the company, do some research. Ask around and check the company’s website. Reputable companies should have all the pertinent information on their website, i.e., their phone number, address, email address, customer service contact info and a history of their business.

Check the “Privacy Policy” so you can get a sense of who is legitimate and who is not.

The safest way to shop online is by using a credit card. Should someone hack into your information and start running up charges on your card, you will be protected under the Fair Credit Billing Act. This will give you the

right to dispute charges and hold payment during an investigation. If it is determined that your card was used without authorization, you will only be held responsible for the first $50 in charges. Another good idea is to reserve just one credit card for online purposes. This will make it easier to track charges should something go wrong.

Businesses ask for a lot of information from their online shoppers. Most of this information is used for demographic and marketing purposes. Just to be on the safe side, don’t provide any information that is not required. The information required to place an order should be marked with an asterisk.

NEVER provide your social security number to a business or Internet vendor. To keep from getting bombarded by offers and surveys via your regular email, set up a specific email for online shopping only.

Online shopping is becoming more and more common everyday. Who knows? Maybe everything will be purchased online at some point in the future. The key to staying safe online is to use common sense. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. If something doesn’t feel right, think twice about doing business with the company.

By Craig W. Armstrong

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015 Woman Newspapers 11

Volunteering a few hours here and there at a charitable organization in need is a great way to give back to the community. For some people, however, time is in short supply. Long hours at work and family activities afterwards leave them with no time to volunteer. If you’re short on time, how can you give back? Why not make a monetary donation to the charitable organizations of your choice?

Making a monetary donation is easy. Cash, check, credit card—almost all are acceptable methods of payment. Determining what charitable organization to contribute to is more difficult. There are many charitable organizations that rely upon regular contributions to be successful, so many, in fact, that you may feel overwhelmed.

How do you choose the right ones? Here are some tips.

Look for names you can trust. Not all organizations soliciting money are legitimate.

Be aware that there are scams and keep an eye out for them. Mass emails, requests for personal information and unsecured websites are sure signs of a scam. Research any 12

Woman Newspapers NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015

questionable charitable organizations of interest and make sure they support a real cause.

Look for causes close to your heart. There are all kinds of charitable organizations that support all kinds of causes from animals to illness to hunger. Narrow your search to those that support a cause you believe in, like raising funds for cancer research, finding homes for animals or providing nutritional food and clean water for those in need.

Look for good percentages. Find out how the charitable organizations of interest actually use the contributions received. Good organizations will have no problems telling you how they spend the contributions and will donate a higher percentage of them toward the actual cause rather than operating expenses or fundraising efforts.

There are several websites available that compare charitable organizations, in particular how they spend the contributions received. Use them to ensure you make wise choices and every cent of your donation counts.

Make a difference in the life of another by bill wood, executive director of habitat for humanity of the greater harrisburg area

The Harrisburg area was recently ranked in the top quarter of charitable cities across the country, with residents donating just over 5% of their annual incomes to churches, non-profits, and other groups that work to make our community better.

One question I encounter when meeting with potential donors is “how will I know my donation is actually helping my community?” As someone who gives annually to several non-profits, this question makes sense to me. How do you know your money is helping the folks you see every day, rather than funding layers of administration in some far-off office where no one has ever even been to Central Pennsylvania?

In our busy lives, we don’t always have time to volunteer. That’s why making a financial contribution to your favorite charity makes sense. But one of the best ways you can discover the impact that your dollars are having on the community is to volunteer with the recipient of your hard-earned donation dollars.

Organize a small group at your office who might like to spend a day away from their desks, helping out the community. Many companies encourage volunteerism and philanthropy, and will allow employees to volunteer quarterly during a prearranged workday.

Additionally, some employers feature a “matching gift” program where they will match your contribution to a non-profit organization. We all love getting a good deal – this is like a 50% off sale on charitable giving!

If you can’t find time to volunteer, but still want to know more about how your donation is spent, set aside 10-15 minutes of your day and make a phone call to your favorite charity. I talk to people in the community all the time about what my organization does, but rarely does anyone call me just to chat. I’m happy to discuss where our funding comes from, as well as how we spend it.

Many non-profits produce an Annual Report which explains in detail what they have accomplished over their past fiscal year. If you can’t find one on your favorite charity’s website, call or email and ask for a copy. Many reports feature full color photos, graphs and statistics explaining their community impact, volunteerism, funding sources and programming.

I think I speak for most non-profits when I say that charitable giving is the fuel that keeps the engine going.

Be a prudent donor who knows her/his charitable causes, so you can feel certain your contribution is helping strengthen the community we all share.

Habitat for Humanity of the Greater Harrisburg Area is a 501c3 non profit. If you have any questions or would like further information on how to volunteer or donate, please call Bill Wood 717.545.7299, ext. 210. I would love to hear from you. Our mission: Seeking to put God’s love into action, Habitat for Humanity brings people together to build homes, communities and hope. Habitat.org

Shop the store that builds homes.

New, used and surplus building materials, furniture, appliances, kitchen cabinets and more at discount prices.

Proceeds help build Habitat for Humanity homes in the Greater Harrisburg Area.

DON’T DUMP IT! DONATE IT!

Watch for our DIY home design classes.

New schedule announced in the spring.

Help us build a world where everyone has a decent place to live.

Like us on Facebook to stay current on sales and new inventory

800 Paxton St, Harrisburg (Former Troegs Brewery) (717) 480-5083 harrisburghabitat.org/restore Store Hours: Wed-Sat 10-5 Donation Hours: Wed-Sat 10-4

Donate here >

Donations collected free of charge. Tax receipt provided.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015 Woman Newspapers 13

the power of

sharing There are many reasons to celebrate the holidays and many ways in which to celebrate it. Giving your time or donating to a non-profit is one of the many ways.

Arts & Culture Art Association of Harrisburg Provides exhibitions and education to Central PA 717-236-1432 artassocofhbg.com Central PA Womyn’s Chorus Women united by the joy of singing 717-564-0112 cpwchorus.org Central Pennsylvania Friends of Jazz Education, promotion and presentation of Jazz 717-232-5501 friendsofjazz.org Citizens for the Arts in Pennslvania Advocates funding for PA’s cultural agencies 717-234-0959 citizensfortheartsinpa.org Cultural Enrichment Fund Capital region’s united arts fund 717-233-1694 culturalenrichmentfund.org Jump Street Uses the arts to develop educational and economic opportunities for all ages 717-238-1887 jumpstreet.org PECAN-Progressive Education of Children in the Arts Network, Promotes the arts for children 717-469-7517 pecaninc.net Perry County Council of the Arts Promotes a growing arts culture in the area 717-567-7023 perrycountyarts.org

LOCALLY

Let’s support our local chapters of nonprofits and charities this holiday season 14

Woman Newspapers NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015

Susquehanna Folk Music Society Promotes and preserves folk music and folk culture 717-763-5744 sfmsfolk.org Environmental Alliance for the Chesapeake Bay-PA Builds partnerships, connects people to the Bay 717-737-8622 allianceforthebay.org Central Pennsylvania Conservancy Acquires and protects land in Central PA 717-233-0221 centralpaconservancy.org Keystone Trail Association Preserves and protects hiking trails 717-238-7017 kta-hike.org The Nature Conservancy Preserves natural communities 717-232-6001 nature.org/Pennsylvania

Pets Animal Rescue Food Bank Ensures rescued animals have adequate food feedrescues.org Best Friends Furever Helps homeless animals find forever homes 717-540-8833 bffpa.org Canine Rescue of Central PA, Inc. Ensures dogs in need will receive the care they need 717-232-1644 crcpa.org Castaway Critters Provides new beginnings for lost, sick and abandoned companion animals 717-831-5010 castawaycritters.org Central PA Animal Alliance (CPAA) Saves the lives of dogs and cats in central PA 717-576-0899 www.cpaa.info Friends of All Animals No-kill feline rescue 717-272-6466 friendsofallanimals.org Helen O. Krause Animal Foundation Assists abused, abandoned and stray animals 717-697-3377 helenkrause.org Helping Hands For Animals Caretakers and friends of stray and feral cats 717-687-7297 helpinghandsforanimals.org Humane Society of Harrisburg Area (East) Builds a better community for people and pets 717-564-3320 humanesocietyhbg.org ONE DOG AT A TIME Assistance for abused & neglected animals 888-509-2011 onedagatatime.us PAWS No-kill animal rescue & spay/neutering 717-957-8122 pawsofpa.org Spay Neuter Assistance Program (SNAP) Ends needless suffering dogs and cats endure as a result of overpopulation 717-732-5377 snapofpa.org SPERANZA ANIMAL RESCUE All breed, all species rescue 717-609-6020 speranzaanimalrescue.com STEELTON COMMUNITY CATS No- kill cat care, spay/neutering 717-877-4146 steeltoncats.org Susquehanna Service Dogs Service and hearing dogs to assist children and adults to become more independent 717-232-7509 keystonehumanservices.org Social & Community Services Alder Health Services Services and programs focused on enhancing the health outcomes of individuals impacted by HIV/AIDS 800-867-1550 or 717-233-7190 alderhealth.org Alcoholics Anonymous Stay sober and help others achieve sobriety Harrisburg area: 717-234-5390 aaharrisburg.org Lancaster area: 717-394-3238 lancasteraa.org American Heart Association-PA Delaware Build lives free of cardiovascular diseases and stroke 717-795-9514 americanheart.org/pa-de American Cancer Society-South Central Region Save lives and create a world with less cancer 888-227-5445 cancer.org

American Diabetes Association-Central PA Leads the fight against the consequences of diabetes 717-657-4310 diabetes.org American Foundation for Children with AIDS Provides critical support to infected and affected HIV+ children and their caregivers 717-489-0206 afcaids.org American Lung Association-Mid-Atlantic Fights to prevent various lung diseases 717-541-5864 lungusa.org/associations/charters/mid-atlantic American Red Cross-Central PA Provides emergency shelter, food, clothing and emotional support at no cost to those in need 866-311-3832 redcross.org/local/centralpa American Trauma Society-PA Division Committed to preventing traumatic injuries and deaths through education 717-766-1616 atspa.org ARC of Dauphin & Lebanon Counties Support for persons with mental retardation 717-920-2727 arcofdc.org Arthritis Foundation-Central Pennsylvania Leading the fight for the arthritis community 717-763-0900 arthritis.org Bethesda Mission Services for the homeless in the greater Hbg area 717-257-4442 bethesdamission.org Big Brothers/Big Sisters-Capital Region Provides children facing adversity with supportive one-to-one relationships 717-236-0199 capbigs.org Caitlin’s Smiles For children with life-threatening conditions 717-412-4759 caitlins-smile.org Capital Area Therapeutic Riding Association Horseback riding for disabled persons 717-469-7517 catra.net Catholic Charities Faith-based, nondenominational social services 717-657-4808 cchbg.org Central PA Food Bank Distributes food and grocery products to soup kitchens, shelters, and food pantries 717-564-1700 centralpafoodbank.org Children’s Cancer Recovery Foundation Assists children and their families facing cancer 800-238-6479 childrenscancerrecovery.org

Dress For Success-South Central PA Provides professional attire and career development 717-232-1333 dressforsuccess.org/southcentralpa Easter Seals Central Pennsylvania Services for people with disabilities 888-372-7280 eastersealscentralpa.org Family Health Councilof Central PA Dedicated to improving health, preventing disease, and promoting wellness 717-761-7380 fhccp.org Goodwill Industries-Keystone Area Independence for persons with disabilities and other barriers 717-394-0647 yourgoodwill.org Grantville Community Outreach Link for services in Dauphin & Lebanon counties 717-469-0785 Habitat for Humanity-Greater Harrisburg Area Providing affordable housing for low income families 717-545-7299 harrisburghabitat.org Healthy Steps Diaper Bank Provides diapers to children in need 717-919-2590 healthystepsdiaperbank.com Hearts-n-Hands Sertoma Club For patients & families facing life-threatening diagnosis 717-918-4790 hearts-n-hands.org Keystone HUMAN Services Services and programs for individuals and families 717-232-7509 keystonehumanservices.org Lebanon Family Health Services Health services to the uninsured and underinsured 717-273-6741 WIC 717-273-6940 lebanonfamilyhealth.org LGBT Center Coalition Common ground for the LGBT community and allies 717-920-9534 centralpalgbtcenter.org Lighthouse Outreach of Harrisburg Support for women coming out of addictions, abuse, homelessness, brokenness, and incarceration.

717-236-0735 lighthouseoutreachhbg.org March of Dimes-Capital Area Helps moms have healthy babies 717-545-4534 marchofdimes.com Multiple Sclerosis Society-Keystone Chapter Working toward a world free of MS 717-652-2108 pac.nationalMSsociety.org

Compeer of Lebanon County Support for people recovering from a mental illness 717-272-0898 compeer-lebanon.org

Muscular Dystrophy Association Dedicated to finding treatments and cures for neuromuscular diseases 717-540-4316 mda.org/office/harrisburg

Community Action Commission Resources for self-sufficiency 717-232-9757 cactricounty.org

New Choices Career Development at PROBE Free career counseling 717-939-2260 probepa.org

Conflict Resolution Services Promotes peaceful conflict resolution 717-293-7231 conflictservicespa.org

Olivia’s House Support for grieving children 717-699-1133 oliviashouse.org

CONTACT Hotline Listening, information & referral services 717-652-4400 Harrisburg 717-249-6226 Carlisle 800-932-4616 toll free contacthelpine.org

PA Coalition Against Domestic Violence Support and safety for battered women 717-545-6400 pcadv.org

CURE International Children with disabilities in the developing world 717-730-6706 cure.org DAWN Depression Awareness and Women’s Needs Peer support for women battling depression 717-397-7461

PA Coalition Against Rape Help and healing for victims of sexual violence 717-728-9740 pcar.org Pink Hands of Hope Financial help for women fighting breast cancer 717-620-8264 pinkhands.org

PFLAG-Central PA Building bridges of understanding about LGBTQ people 717-728-8800 pflagcentralpa.org Planned Parenthood PA Advocates Works to achieve public, governmental and media support for reproductive health care 717-234-3024 plannedparenthoodpa.org Rebuilding Together-Greater Harrisburg Provides assistance to low-income homeowners 717-232-2557 rtgh.org Renaissance of South Eastern PA Transgender education & support 717-332-1247 RenaissanceSEP.org RSVP-Capital Region Volunteer opportunities for persons aged 55+ 717-541-9521 rsvpcapreg.org Ronald McDonald House-Central PA Housing for families of seriously ill children being treated at Penn State Hershey Children’s Hospital 717-533-4001 rmhc-centralpa.org SADD Working to address the DUI problem 717-238-4354 padui.org/SADD Salvation Army-Harrisburg Capital City Region Positively transforming lives 717-233-6755 salvationarmyharrisburg.org Vision Corps Independence for the blind and visually impaired 717-291-5951 sabvi.com The PROGRAM Prevent recidivism and promote crime free lives 717-238-9950 theprograminc.org Tri-County OIC Adult learning center 717-238-7318 tricountyoic.org United Cerebral Palsy-Central PA Assist infants, children, youth, and adults with disabilities and their families 717-975-0611 ucpcentralpa.org United Way of the Capital Region Supports more than 70 programs and services to create solutions to the needs in our community 717-732-0700 uwcr.org Vicki’s Angel Foundation Financial help for families fighting cancer 717-774-3800 vickiesangelfoundation.org Victim Witness Assistance Program Empower victims, witnesses and family members 888-292-9611 victimwitness.org Volunteers of America-Pennsylvania Supporting and empowering the vulnerable and under-served 717-236-1440 voapa.org YMCA Focused on youth development, healthy living and social responsibility Harrisburg Area 717-232-2068 ymcaharrisburg.org Greater Harrisburg 717-234-7931 ywcahbg.org Carlisle 888-727-2877 ywcacarlisle.org Zonta Club of Harrisburg-Hershey Advancing the status of women worldwide zonta-harrisburghershey.org

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015 Woman Newspapers 15

Drugs, alcohol and holiday depression submitted by the salvation army

How do I get through it? Every holiday season you get that anxious feeling, coming as it always does with the stress and the over-the-top expectations you put on yourself and others.

For many, the reality of the dreamy holiday season is just that - a dream. The images of the holiday season that retailers and cable channels saturate us with are just a Hallmark/Norman Rockwell view of the season.

Everyone gets depressed occasionally and that’s perfectly normal. But when those feelings of hopelessness, sadness and inadequacy continue and you find yourself using alcohol or drugs to cope, it is time to get help.

The truth is, not everyone is merry when they see the season approaching. Women are more than twice as likely to start drinking heavily if they have a history of depression, maybe you’re going through a divorce, a relationship break up or the loss of a job.

A drink once in a while when you’re stressed out or blue is one thing. But when you need that cocktail every time a problem crops up, it could be a sign of abuse.

You may feel you work hard and deserve to treat yourself to a little holiday spirits. The truth

is you may be outwardly successful and still be a functioning alcoholic or drug user.

You may be someone who relies on prescription drugs to get you though holiday stress and depression. Are pills and maybe a couple glasses of wine what gets you through the day?

Depression can impair your ability to function, both physically and socially. Although often misdiagnosed, depression, once identified, can be treated. At the first signs of depression, seek help and don’t become another alarming statistic.

Overindulgence with drugs and/or alcohol to overcome stress and depression is a cry for help.

Recognizing the signs is the first step. But where do you go? More importantly, who can you trust?

First, get a support system in place and ask for help now! There are organizations that will work with you in a discreet, yet direct fashion. Don’t try to handle the situation on your own. Help is only a phone call away if you are ready to accept it.

If you need help to begin a path toward recovery with drug or alcohol addiction The Salvation Army’s Adult Rehabilitation Program (ARC) can change your life. Addiction does not have to define who you are. The Salvation Army, an international movement, is an evangelical part of the universal Christian Church. Its message is based on the Bible. Its ministry is motivated by the love of God. Its mission is to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ and to meet human needs in His name without discrimination. Call (717) 541-0203 to begin your future.

pre Black friday

new clothing, shoes & toys (many with the retail tags still attached) at 50% off! includes christmas decorations

November 20, 2015

over 5,000 items donated daily!

schedule a pickup:

Family Day

(1-800-728-7825)

50% off

Arrange a date & time for The Salvation Army to pick up donated items including furniture & bulk amounts clothing (new or gently used).

family store locations: 16

every wednesday!

CLOTHING • SHOES • BOOKS • LINENS HANDBAGS • ACCESSORIES excludes this week's new color ticket

CAMP HILL 3901 Trindle Rd. Camp Hill, PA 17011 LANCASTER 1244 Manheim Pike Lancaster, PA 17601

Woman Newspapers NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015

HARRISBURG 5051 Hampton Court Rd. Harrisburg, PA 17112 YORK 1090 Haines Rd. York, PA 17402

UNION DEPOSIT 3847 Union Deposit Rd. Harrisburg, PA 17109 LEBANON 2211 East Cumberland St. Lebanon, PA 17042

paying retail is so last year.

“ Stop acting so small.

You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”

– Rumi

usually start writing these columns with a general sense of doubt. Is anyone reading? Are they laughing at me? I extol points of questionable interest from my life, not knowing if they will hit home with anyone. I’ve lost sleep wondering if I am just navel-gazing, using this space for an exercise in reflection and writing that is only for me. This is my experience in writing, and this is also sometimes my experience in life, in work, in relationships, in the world: Is anyone listening? Are they laughing? Am I of interest?

I started journaling on January 1, 2015. I started dozens of times before that, too. How many diary’s have I been given in my life? At least that many times I have felt like a failure for not following through.

Then, for the holidays last year, I received a gift: a five-year journal (imagine my panic!). In this new diary, each page has a thoughtprovoking prompt and only a limited amount of space to respond with this year’s answer (remember, four more year’s worth of answers will go on the same page as I cycle through the book each year). I wasn’t going to

write much. I assumed I didn’t have anything interesting to say – certainly not every night.

What I found from doing this every night, all year, is that given the opportunity, I celebrate love in its many incarnations. A lot. And it will be interesting each year to review what I wrote in response to the same prompt from one year earlier. But that is not the point. This isn’t necessarily to record as many memories as I can, but to slow down and be with myself every day and experience what is often overlooked – particularly in the busy, busy world.

Writing is newly useful for me, much as I’ve found meditation, reading, breathing exercises to be, so much so that I started another kind of journaling. I’m going to write out everything; all the projects I’m involved in and embarking upon. All the changes happening around me.

All the work I do to take care of myself, enabling me to better nurture the love I have in my life. I want to be conscience of my life as I live it.

If I think about it too long, I’ll inevitably question the importance of

writing this column. But this column, along with my journal writings, are my opportunity to rejoice in being alive.

Each detail I include is part of everything else that is happening right now. And this happening, this universal “us” thing that includes every human and every feeling and every thought – it matters. Stop acting so small. That’s just huge.

I started writing this column one and a half years ago. That’s a lot of consistency for me.

It’s an exercise in discipline, in thinking about readers and in considering my own life, but it is also a regular love letter I send out. So, that’s why I keep writing. In my heart, my intention is to create a connection. And I’m okay with the idea that it isn’t returned, reciprocated or even read. I’m writing love into the universe.

If starting a campfire is a metaphor for my life, I’ve spent years leaning low to the ground, furiously blowing on the embers.

The lightheadedness that resulted from all that huffing and puffing deterred me (like so many of us) from keeping the ember glowing.

As anyone who has had to work diligently on a campfire can tell you: too much blowing extinguishes the flame. The trick is not to huff and puff, but to pace yourself. Slow and steady.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015 Woman Newspapers 17

gratitude

That’s

for you

By Lisa Houserman

B

elieve me when I say that I am often inspired to shout obscenities while perusing my Facebook feed some mornings, but the inspiration for this column occurred when the subject of whether to thank, or not to thank, came into question. It erupted into a discussion of epic proportions.

I speak of that old-fashioned, yet charmingly quaint custom of sending handwritten thank you notes via the U.S. Postal Service, of course. Many were of the opinion that it was not necessary to send notes in the mail and were perfectly fine with giving or receiving thank you’s via texts or emails.

On the other side were ardent supporters of the pen/pencil/paper technique. Many also indicated that they had taught their offspring to do the same and were quite strict about it.

As the Facebook chatter continued, I noticed that many of the well-seasoned posters (nice way of saying us older people) were in favor of the handwritten notes, while the younger generation saw no problem with either blowing off the whole process or sending a quick electronic message of appreciation.

As you might have guessed, I am an absolute FIRM believer in thank you notes of the paper and mail variety. Anyone who knows my dear mother, Jacqueline Houserman, shouldn’t be surprised into which category I might fall.

I could be recovering from a gunshot wound to the head and my mother would sweep into intensive care, thrust a paper and pen in my direction, guide my feeble hand toward the writing 18

Woman Newspapers NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015

materials and insist that I begin notes of gratitude to the doctors who saved my life.

I’ll give you a recent real-life example: My son received a graduation gift from a friend of the family. My mother flew into a panic concerning the thank you note scenario. Mind you, only seconds after the gift was delivered, she said to me, “MAKE SURE HE SENDS A THANK YOU NOTE!” - as if I wouldn’t have the sense to do so, especially knowing the ramifications.

Minutes later, she marched over to said grandson with card, stamp and envelope in hand and demanded that action be taken immediately. The poor child obliged of course, in part due to the I’m terrified of my grandmother factor. Also, believe it or not, he might have just taken it upon himself to write the note of thanks on his own.

We have always been a thank you note clan - quite possibly out of fear. Nonetheless, we were taught to pen letters of thanks or suffer the consequences. Believe it or not, I’m grateful to my mother for drilling - I mean instilling - me with social skills and proper etiquette.

I also do not think it harms those otherwise delicate creatures known as children if they are forced, at gunpoint even, to pen a personal note of thanks.

It boils down to this: Have a little respect. Simply take the time to pen a little statement with real writing implements (you know, those things from the Stone Age). True, after a wedding or celebration it might be quite time consuming to do so. However, it is still the appropriate thing to do. If you do not heed my advice or warning, you may just encounter Mother in your nightmares and I would not wish that fate on anyone.

What is F.O.M.O? by paige faulk, lsw, family & community liaison, the middletown home

At church one recent Sunday, I heard an anachronism I hadn’t heard before stated during the homily: F.O.M.O. This stands for Fear of Missing Out. It speaks of how tuned in we all are to something other than what is right in front of us.

I clearly remember in the year 2000 being at the check-out line at a grocery store in my hometown of Atlanta, Georgia. A woman behind me was speaking with someone about her plans for later that evening. I turned around and saw her talking (loudly) on her cell phone.

I remember at that moment, wondering why she would want to be talking about her private life, in public, at the grocery store check-out line. I gathered my bags of items and started to leave. I remember her being so engaged in her conversation on her cell phone that she didn’t realize it was her turn to check-out.

This was the first time I had been involved as a non-participant in someone else’s personal phone call. At that moment in 2000, I thought, the rules of social etiquette (as I know it) are changing.

Move fast forward in time to the present. It is rare that you don’t see someone texting and

driving; a pedestrian walking his/her dog while talking on the cell phone; going out to dinner and seeing people at the same table talking/ texting on their respective cell phones, instead of with each other.

When I see these things, I often reflect how happy I am that I grew up when I did.

What grabbed my attention, when there were no cell phones, Facebook, e-mails, etc? It was speaking with my grandfather about tales of his youth, while sipping on Coca-Cola and eating Pinwheels, on his screened-in-porch; listening to the cicadas singing at night; enjoying the sweet nectar of honeysuckles, which grew wild in my grandfathers’ yard.

The priest giving this homily stated that psychologists are currently studying the phenomenon of why people stay “plugged in” to technology constantly. We can’t be tuned in to everything at the same time. I choose and strive to be present in the moment, enjoying the company I am with, or enjoying the beauty of nature around me. F.O.M.O – Fear of Missing Out – Don’t miss out on spending quality time with someone of a different generation than yourself.

I have the rewarding experience of working with older adults in our community. If you have the time and are interested in volunteer opportunities, please call me at 717-944-3351 ext. 4152.

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NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015 Woman Newspapers 19

Hello, kitty A cat tale

by Louise Sukle Meet PJ, a little black cat with big green eyes. Her origins are unknown. In fact, we weren’t even aware of her until we unlocked the doors of our business early one Monday morning and discovered the unmistakeable signs of her presence. We had unwittingly trapped her inside over the weekend and suffice it to say she beat a hasty escape after we opened the garage bay door.

take on the responsibility of our helpless kittens.

Problem solved, we thought. That would be the last we’d see of her.

Luckily, the kittens were taken in by a kind woman (the wife of one of our pressmen) and nursed back to health. She fed them and with the help of her husband these adorable fur babies are thriving. Our most pressing problem was solved - at least until the kittens are old enough to be adopted. Next problem was what to do with the momma cat.

What we didn’t know: Left to fend for herself in the streets, PJ had found a maternity home in our building weeks earlier. Enter four tiny, mewing balls of kitten fluff found in the basement of our printing plant later that morning. They hadn’t eaten in days (mom was trapped upstairs for more than 2 days) and were ridden with fleas.

We learned from the many organizations we contacted that the most important rule for caring for free-roaming cats: fix them, fast. Trapping momma cat was the easy part. She was just a hungry kitten herself, not much more than 6 months old, but she had already given birth to a litter of kittens. We were committed to having her spayed.

What do we do now? We groaned in unison. We were so focused on getting the poor stray cat out of our printing plant, it didn’t occur to us there was a reason she chose our building (besides the bags of partially eaten snack food. ) And yet here we were, staring down into a box of shivering, hungry babies whose momma may or may not come back.

But there was one really, really big problem - there was a waiting list for spaying and neutering cats anywhere from 1 week up to 3 weeks. What do we do with this cat now that we successfully trapped her?

We did what most people would do: Fed them. Cuddled them.

Fell hopelessly in love with them. But we had a business to run after all, and we couldn’t possibly bottle-feed 4 kittens every 2 hours.

There is good evidence this kind of program works. Community cats, as feral or outdoor cats are called, live and thrive in every landscape, from inner city to rural farmland. Trap-Neuter-Return (TNR) stabilizes the cat colony (no more kittens!) and stops the aggravating behaviors associated with mating.

So, we started making calls. To make a long story short, it was an enlightening and frustrating experience.

Cat overpopulation is a huge problem here in Middletown, as it is in every town and city.

Organizations and their volunteers do their best to help, but I can’t blame them for not wanting to

20

Woman Newspapers NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015

I applaud the network of caring volunteers. After many phone calls…success! We secured a place for our stray at Steelton Community Cats (SCC) for that same day. Not only would this local organization spay our little black cat, she would also get her rabies and distemper vaccinations, and they would rid her of fleas and worms for a nominal fee of $60.

Cats in this program are temporarily housed and receive pre- and post-surgical care for at least 3 days. On the day we delivered our cat to the SCC’s Front Street facility, we were stunned by the shear numbers. There were 72 cats awaiting care. All were there to be spayed or neutered and some would receive additional medical treatment.

We ultimately chose to bring PJ home as an outside kitty instead of releasing her back to the streets in town.

We’re hoping that someday our semi-feral cat will allow us to approach her, but giving up her freedom may just be too much to ask. For now she is fed, healthy and surveying her kingdom.

4 paws and a

wet nose That’s what it took to save a wounded veteran’s life

Combat-wounded veterans often face a new kind of battle when they return home.

“Service dogs are making the lives of wounded veterans better, and in some cases they’re even saving lives,” says Jeffrey Roy, president of the board of the Purple Heart Foundation. “Veterans returning from combat face many difficulties. Service dogs help disabled veterans meet physical challenges in day-to-day life, and provide a foundation of stable support and love for those suffering from PTS. The Veteran’s Administration does not fund service dog programs for issues like PTS, so it’s up to organizations like ours to help these veterans.”

For some of those veterans, salvation comes with four paws and a wet nose.

Often, a service dog helps his or her veteran in multiple ways. For example, Niles assists Lintz with physical tasks and provides emotional support to help Lintz cope with his PTS. “I can’t always tell my wife what I’m going through; I don’t want her suffering anymore,” says Lintz, who served more than 30 years in the U.S. Army. “Every day I have to put on my Superman suit for the people around me, but I can tell my dog anything. He listens and he understands me without judgment.”

Of the 51,000 service members that the Congressional Research Service reports have been injured in Iraq and Afghanistan, thousands have come home to find that not even the love and support of family and friends is enough to help them cope with their physical and mental health disabilities.

They struggle with physical challenges, depression, post-traumatic stress (PTS) and suicidal thoughts.

“I was done. I was ready to leave this body and this pain,” says Roger Lintz, a now-retired Infantry and Special Operations officer who suffered a back injury while on combat duty in Iraq. Two botched surgeries to repair the damage left him severely disabled and in excruciating pain. “I had it all planned out. I knew how I was going to end it.”

Lying in bed, pistol in hand, “I just couldn’t do it,” he recalls.

“I couldn’t do it in front of my dog.”

Service dog Niles and his human companion, retired Infantry and Special Operations Officer Roger Lintz.

In February 2012, while between surgeries, the father of two was paired with Niles, a 5-year-old, 100-pound chocolate lab, by Paws for Purple Hearts. The nonprofit organization trains and provides service dogs free of charge to veterans with physical disabilities and PTS. The group is one of the many veterans’ organizations supported by the Purple Heart Foundation, the fundraising arm of the Military Order of the Purple Heart. The foundation also supports other non-profits that provide service dogs to wounded veterans.

Dogs train for months - Niles trained for a year and a half - as veteran service dogs. Service dogs learn to do a variety of tasks, such as stabilize veterans with mobility issues as they walk, climb stairs, sit or stand; turn lights off and on; open doors and retrieve dropped items (Niles can pick up a single sheet of paper from the floor). They also learn to recognize and respond to a veteran’s emotional state, providing calm, comfort and emotional support.

And while all service dogs receive task and obedience training, those helping veterans with PTS must have a special personality.

“We choose the most stable dogs for PTS veterans, and we train them in a variety of situations and settings so that no matter what they experience when they’re working with their veteran, no matter what sights or sounds they’re exposed to, they’ll be able to do their job and provide a stabilizing effect for that veteran,” says John Moon, director of client programs and community engagement for NEADS (National Education for Assistance Dog Services.)

While groups such as NEADS provide dogs to veterans for free, it costs tens of thousands to train just one dog. Moon says NEADs spends about $47,000 to fully train a service dog for a veteran.

His pain controlled by a morphine pump, and with Niles by his side, Lintz now volunteers for PAWS as his way of giving back. “I could never repay them for what they’ve done for me,” he says.

“They gave me my best friend. They gave me a dog who saved my life.”

The support of the Purple Heart Foundation is vital in helping organizations continue to provide dogs to veterans. To make a donation in support of veterans, visit www.purpleheartfoundation.org. Source: BPT

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015 Woman Newspapers 21

Checking in with older relatives during holidays by dauphin county commissioners jeff haste, george p. hartwick, iii and mike pries

Over the holidays, many families get together and celebrate over meals and other activities. For some families, like adult children who live far from their parents, it may be the first time in a while that they see their parents.

While the family may remain in contact with phone calls and e-mail, seeing the changes that their parents have gone through might be concerning for adult children. They may notice significant changes from the last time the family gathered. Mom or Dad may be more forgetful; the home may not be as neat and well-kept as it used to be; there may be more medications in the home than you were aware of; or the parents driving skills are cause for concern. All of these issues are common to families in Dauphin County and elsewhere.

What can children do about these concerns for mom and dad? There are a few steps that can be taken to ensure the health and safety of aging parents.

A phone call to the parents’ primary care physician would be appropriate. Although privacy laws may prevent the physician’s office from sharing health details, you should share your concerns with them.

Adult children can also call their county’s agency on aging. A care manager will schedule a time to visit the

parents in their home. The care manager will talk with the parents, make sure any unsafe conditions in the home are modified and will work with the parents and family members to develop a care plan that will keep the older adults safe.

A care plan may include something as simple as providing a personal response unit to use in the event of an emergency. Perhaps the older adult will benefit from a daily hot meal that can be provided through a home delivered meal program.

If the older adults are having difficulty with some very basic activities of daily living, things such as getting out of bed, getting dressed or taking a shower, a care plan may include an aide to visit a few days each week to assist with these activities.

If safe driving is a concern, transportation options are available in most parts of Dauphin County.

Discussing concerns with an older parent can be difficult for many reasons. But there are services available to help aging parents and to keep them safe.

Our goal, always, is to do everything possible to allow older adults in Dauphin County to live independently in their own home for as long as possible. In most cases, we are able to work with the family to make this happen. Please call the Dauphin County Area Agency on Aging at 717-780-6130 or 1-800328-0058, extension 6130, and let us be a part of a plan to keep our older adults safe.

Every older American has the right to live free from the fear of abuse.

elder abuse is a crime Please help us in our efforts to protect older adults.

Elder Abuse Hotline

866-SAFE-111 (866-723-3111) 22

The Dauphin County Elder Abuse Taskforce includes detectives with the county’s Criminal Investigation Division, representatives of the Attorney General’s Office, Pennsylvania Banking Department, United States Postal Inspector’s Office, Federal Bureau of Investigation, local police, fraud officers from financial institutions and private citizens. Collaboration with law enforcement agencies has brought a new level of expertise and resources to the Elder Abuse Taskforce and has led to many arrests and successful prosecutions.

Woman Newspapers NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015

Dauphin County Commissioners Jeff Haste, George P. Hartwick, III and Mike Pries

MY SUCCESS STORY by JoAnn Gigac

Success without stress Hello, my name is JoAnn. I have lived in Harrisburg for the past 3 years. I am divorced after 35 years of marriage and I have raised four children of my own and seven foster teenagers.

In my twenties, I was a successful subcontractor in Pittsburgh for 19 years until my husband’s company transferred him to Lancaster in 1985.

It was a cultural shock for me, moving from the city and suddenly having 13 acres and farm animals. Over the next ten years I was very busy on the farm and, eventually, working in a greenhouse my husband built.

Then, in 1995, my husband was offered a partnership in Dallas, Texas. He left us, and for the next several years he would return home just once a year for Christmas. It was absurd.

After he left I operated our greenhouse with my oldest son until 2000.

I worked in the garden department of a big box store for seven years until I was transferred to the design department because of my experience as a sub-contractor. I worked in that department for three years until my position was downsized.

WHERE TO FIND A WOMAN

So, I refocused my efforts on rehabbing houses, this time in partnership with my son.

Over the next five years we worked on five houses but it all came to a stop following an accident.

It was a miserable morning in January, foggy, rainy and dark, and I was recycling metals at a local recycling plant. A woman drove into the plant, did not see me and ran me over. I had a fractured skull, several teeth were knocked out, and my hand was broken. Due to the severity of my injuries, I moved in with my son in Harrisburg.

As I got better, I began looking for work. I received some income in rent from the houses my son and I rehabbed, but it was time to move forward on my own.

I’ve done a myriad of things; I was an employment counselor, skincare specialist, ski shop manager, tour guide, fashion show organizer, and more. If a job needed done, I found a way to do it.

However, after the accident, I didn’t feel confident enough to apply for jobs. For the several jobs I did apply for, I never heard back, and I struggled even more with my selfconfidence. So, I applied to a local government help agency and they sent me to Dress for Success South Central PA. When I arrived at Dress for Success South Central PA, I received a complete outfit from head to toe: suit, coat, shoes, scarf, jewelry and make-up. The very best part, for me, was the

volunteers who helped with all the choosing and dressing. I have always taken care of everyone else, and now I was being cared for.

How wonderful that felt!

Dress for Success South Central PA registered me for their Going Places Network (GPN) and also their JOBS Group. Both GPN and the JOBS Group provided me with the training and self-confidence I needed.

It has been 3 years since my accident, and I am trying to move forward. I have my own apartment and I am back to being myself. I recently started a new career as a copywriter and am finding success without stress.

I am now part of the Professional Women’s Group (PWG) and I am trying to give back, for all the help that has been given to me by volunteering for various projects.

I have always taken care of others.

If someone had a need, I met it. This was the first time I had needs, and before thanks to this organization and its volunteers, JoAnn Gigac they were met.

Harrisburg Area Advanced Skin Care, Affordable Dentures, Arlington Optical, Arthritis Foundation, Aspire Urgent Care & Family Medicine, Associated Cardiologists, Auditor General’s Childcare Center, Bakare & Associates, Baturin & Baturin, Bayada Home Health Care, Belco Federal Credit Union, Bethesda Mission, Blue Mountain Family Practice, Broad St. Market, Bronstein Jeffries Prof. Assoc., Café Fresco, Capital Region Sleep Disorder Center, CAT, Central PA Oral Surgeons, Central PA Surgical Assoc., Chartwood Dental Center, Colonial Dental Group, Colonial Park Animal Clinic, Colonial Park Diner, Colonial Park Family Practice, Concentra Medical Center, Cost Cutters, Crown Plaza Hotel, CVS, Dauphin Co. Dept. Aging, Dr. Zuckerman, Dress For Success, East Shore Healthcare, East Shore Public Library, Elements Massage, Exit Realty Capital Area, First Choice Rehabilitation, Foose Elementary, Hamilton Health Women, Infants & Childrens Program, Freedom Jeep, Girl Scouts In the Heart of Pennsylvania, Gold’s Gym, HACC, Hamilton Health Center, Harrisburg City Hall, Harrisburg Gastroenterology, Harrisburg Mall, Harrisburg Orthodontics, Harrisburg Visitors Center, Healthy Starts Pediatrics, Heinz-Menaker Senior Center, Hildebrand Learning Center, Hilton Towers, Home Care Assistance, Homeland Center, Huntington Learning Center, Innovations, Jan L. Brown & Associates, Jan’s Beauty Salon, Jewish Home, Kindred Place, Kline Pediatric Center, Kmart, Labor & Industry Building, Leber & Banducci Plastic Surgery, Linglestown Chiropractic Center, Madden Physical Therapy, Mangia Qui, Manor at Oakridge, Mark Boland Cosmetic Surgery & Lazer Center, Mazzetti & Sullivan Counseling Services, Memorial Eye Institute, Mia Testarossa, Mynd Works Inc., New Passages, Noah’s Ark Animal Hospital, Orbit Salon, PA Coaltion Against Domestic Violence, PA Mentor Network, Patient First, Peachtree Restaurant and Lounge, PHEAA Building, Pheasant Hill Estates, Pinnacle Community Hospital, PinnacleHealth CardioVascular Institute, Premier Eye Care, Pressley Ridge, PSECU Childcare Center, Quest Diagnostics, Rep. Payne’s Office, Rhoads & Simon LLP, Salvation Army Harrisburg Capital City Region, Sam’s Club, Shining Light Thrift Shop, Silvers Dental Care, Social Security Administration, Spring Creek Rehab, St. Thomas Restaurant, Starbucks, State Capitol Building, Sutliff Chevrolet, Sutliff Volkswagen, Swartz Kitchens & Bath, The Goddard School, The Hair Junction, The Program, Tristan Associates, Vision Resources of Central PA, Watkin, Freshman & Nipple Assoc., Weber Vision Care, Wesley Union AME Zion Church, West Hanover Winery, What If Café, WomanCare Resource Ctr., WomenFirst, YMCA, YWCA

MY SUCCESS STORY is a regular feature sponsored by

AND

The mission of Dress for Success South Central PA is to promote the economic independence of disadvantaged women by providing professional attire, a network of support and the career development tools to help women thrive in work and in life.

DRESS FOR SUCCESS South Central PA Harrisburg 717-232-1333 York 717-764-3330 Lebanon 717-270-5337 southcentralpa@dressforsuccess.org To learn more about upcoming events: www.dressforsuccess.org/southcentralpa

Steelton Steelton Pharmacy Middletown Hairacy, Hardee’s, Hetrick Center, MASD, Middletown Home, Middletown Library, Middletown Pharmacy, Penn State Harrisburg, PinnacleHealth FamilyCare, Press And Journal Publications, Sharp Shopper Highspire 230 Café, Chubb’s Market, Daniel Kambic MD, Highspire School Apts., McDonalds Hummelstown All About Faces, Capitol Foot, Gold’s Gym, Hilton Garden Inn, Kirman Eye, Rhoads Pharmacy, Soda Jerk Diner, Woodward & Associates Elizabethtown Now Wear This Hershey Bentley’s Courtyard Café, Cocoa Urology Associates, Dafno’s Italian Grille, Emerald Springs, Heritage Cleaners, Hershey Endoscopy, Hershey Grille, Hershey Ortho & Spine Rehab, Leo Frittelli Salon & Day Spa, Library, Merle Norman Cosmetics, Mohler Senior Center, OIP, Penn State Med Group Fishburn, Starbucks @ Tanger Outlets, Tristan Associates, What If Café Palmyra Columbia Cottage

This is only a partial list. Please visit www.womannewspapers.com for additional locations.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015 Woman Newspapers 23

to the res

By Debra Baer Becker

When I was a child, my dog Muffins, a black and white terrier, was my playmate and best friend. On winter’s snowy days, Muffins and I would go sledding in the cornfield behind our house in Annville. I’d dress her in my favorite red cardigan. Muffins would sit patiently while I held each of her paws pushing the cable-knitted sleeves up her front legs, telling her, “I don’t want you to catch pneumonia.” She’d mirror my concern with sideways glances through furry dark brows, and all of love in the world in her eyes.

We’d walk together in winter’s white snow globe world. When we’d reach the hilltop, I’d sit on the sled, and coax Muffins into the space I’d made for her, right in front of me. Then down we’d sail, Muffins’ ears tickling my cheeks, in the whoosh of our flying descent. Just before we’d stop at the hill’s bottom, Muffins would leap in the air, as if she intended to keep flying, as if she had wings.

All of my dogs have been angels.

I’ve always been blessed with the most champion-hearted dogs, like life coaches in a dog suit. And because dogs have always given me so much in their alwaystoo-short-lives, I wanted to give something back to them. I wanted to save a dog.

“I saw a sweet dog

who was holding on to

fear in ways that I’ve recognized in myself. “

24

Woman Newspapers NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2015

“What does that mean, you want to save a dog?” the Hubster asked me, on a crisp fall day when we were out walking our devastatingly handsome collie, Chance.

“We saved Chance from the ASPCA, right? ” he said.

“No, we adopted Chance from the ASPCA,” I said. “I want to rescue a dog, help him heal from trauma. I want to help a dog learn how to be in the world.”

Now it just so happens that “Maine’s Largest Kennel Raid,” was the lead story in the Portland community that early fall of 2007. This puppy mill kept 300 dogs in a urine and feces soaked aluminum shed and sold them online for money. Maine shut down this breeding operation, and sent the dogs to animal shelters across the state where they received medical care and love from many volunteers.

By October, the shelters began to release these dogs for adoption, and people were so captivated by the story of these dogs, that they would camp out in front of the kennels like shoppers on Black Friday.

The Hubster and I stood in these lines at a few different shelters, but it wasn’t until January, when we’d gone to a nearby animal refuge that we found our dog Scout.

Our daughter Kay was with us, home for the weekend from college. The three of us were standing by a dog run, distracted by the dizzying dance of a small merlecolored dog named Feather, who flitted and twirled in front of the pen’s gate.

Kay said, “Mom, look! There’s another dog in that crate back by the wall. I can see his eyes.”

Sure enough, we saw two dark eyes peering at us cautiously through the crate’s small door. We wanted to meet him.

Now I wish I could say that they brought this little dark-eyed bear cub of a dog to us, and he jumped into our arms, and licked our faces. But that’s not what happened.

He tried to hide himself from us by pressing his body into the corners of the Meet and Greet room. He quivered like Jell-O in a bowl.

The volunteer who brought him to us said, “He’s two-years-old, a male miniAustralian Shepherd-type, and his name is Bliss.”

“Bliss?! Talk about a misnomer,” I said to Pat. There was no perfect happiness in this dog’s stoic face. His eyes darted about and he licked his lips nervously when Kay and I approached him. We cooed sweet comforting words to him. Eventually, he stood a little closer to us.

We were drawn into his teddy-bear-plush face, the downward cast eyes, the whole of him jet black with puffs of white on his chest and paws. I saw a sweet dog who was holding on to fear in ways that I’ve recognized in myself.

< Scout, our champion-hearted rescue dog

s cue

The Hubster said, “We’ll have to change his name.”

We brought him home in a crate. The shelter staff told us he was “crate-trained,” but the truth was that he wanted to live out the rest of his days in the safety of his crate. We tried to lure him out with sweet words and dog treats, and then the big guns: cheese. When that didn’t work, we dragged him out and forced him into the world, a sink or swim method that is not recommended by dog trainers.

We walked grassy fields, hiked woodland trails, and Scout happily trotted along, beside Chance, who partnered with us in Scout’s recovery. We built up Scout’s confidence with training and treats and toys. We gave him time to decompress, afternoons sunning himself on the deck, or a snooze on my best chair.

But, you know, you can never pay dogs back for their goodness.

Whatever you give to them comes back to you exponentially with play bows and doggy smiles and this delightful thing I call happy paws where Scout stands up on his hind legs and dances his front paws on me.

You can’t really save a dog because they always end up saving you.

welcoming a shelter dog

Animal shelters are full of lovable dogs of all breeds, sizes and ages deserving of a good home and ready to become your next four-legged family member. In fact, according to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, nearly 2 million dogs are adopted into new families each year.

However, choosing the right dog is just the beginning. The first weeks after bringing home an adopted pet are critical. It’s a time to get to know one another and build a lifelong connection. Here are some steps to help ease the transition: Create a pet-friendly environment. Keep items that are unsafe, such as chemicals and certain house plants, out of reach. Cords and objects that invite chewing also should be tucked away. If certain areas will be off limits, use baby gates to block them.

Expect accidents. While house training a puppy is to be expected, you may find that an older dog needs help in this area as well. The stress of transitioning into a new household can lead to accidents, so keep this in mind and be sure to provide your new pet with lots of potty breaks, patience and instruction.

Introduce a schedule. Providing dogs with a consistent routine right off the bat can help ease their stress during the transition. Set a schedule for walks, feeding time and training so he can settle into a routine that feels a bit more familiar.

Approach training with patience. Without knowing how your pet was trained, it can be difficult to predict how he will respond in his new environment. For example, he may be used to receiving treats for good behavior, while you prefer to reward with praise. Plan to be flexible, and soon you’ll come to a shared understanding.

Source: Family Features

See page 14 for listing of local rescue and aninmal shelters

pup personality

By Tresa Erickson

Watching a litter of puppies can be great fun. Taking one home, on the other hand, is another matter. A litter of puppies is like a nursery of newborns. No two are alike. Each has its own personality, which may or may not complement the personalities in your home.

While you know what newborn you are bringing home, you may have no idea with the puppies. You want to look for one with the right temperament for your home.

Watch a litter of puppies for a while, and you will begin to see different temperaments emerge. Some puppies may be leaders. Some may be followers. Some may be adventurous and leave their mother’s side the first chance they get. Some may stick close to home. Some may run right up to you. Some may hold back. When you are contemplating adoption, it pays to study the litter and zero in on the puppies with the right temperament for you.

Before you start the search for the right pup personality, you need to consider the personalities in your home. Who else resides in the home? What are they like? While a loud, energetic pup might suit your kids, it might make your calm, reserved live-in fatherin-law a nervous wreck. Look for a pup that will suit all of the people residing in your home.

Keep in mind that pup personalities may be both a product of nature and a product of nurture. Cocker spaniels, for example, are generally affectionate animals and highly tolerant of kids. A cocker spaniel that has not been raised with kids, however, may not be as fond of them. If you’re looking at a new litter of pups, you may not need to worry as much about nurture. If the pups are older, nature and nurture are both sure to be at work.

You might be able to mold particular facets of a pup’s personality, but you won’t be able to completely change it.

When you come across a litter of interest, study it for a while and select a few pups of interest. Then, observe the following: • Approach. Does the puppy appear to like people? Does it come up to you? How does it interact with other puppies? Dominant dogs will take the lead in almost everything.

Submissive dogs will stand back and try to blend in with the crowd. They are more watchers than doers and could be easier to train.

• Feeding. How do the puppies interact at feeding time? Dominant, aggressive puppies will get to the food first. More submissive pups will hang back and wait for their turn. If you have more than one dog at home already, you may want a more dominant pup to ensure it gets fed.

• Touch. Puppies react to touch differently. Friendly pups do not mind being held and stroked. Less friendly pups may prefer to be touched on their terms or not at all. Roll the pup of interest on its back and see if it will let you rub its tummy. Squeeze its paws and stroke its ears and tail. The more affectionate it appears, the easier time it may have around kids.

Every pup you come across will have a different personality. Some will be playful and energetic and crave attention. Some will be shy and reserved and require alone time. Look for a pup with a personality that works for you and your situation. Think of the people and the pets that live with you and look for a pet that will fit in with all.

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