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dauphin county edition november/december 2014
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Wouldn’t it be wonderful to find one gift that you didn’t have to dust, that had to be used right away, that was practical, fit everyone, was personal and would be remembered for a long time? I penciled in “Gift certificate for a flu shot.” - Erma Bombeck
publisher’snote Your greatest gift “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” ~ Kahlil Gibran What does giving of yourself truly mean? Giving of our possessions is easy to understand: We part with our stuff. The exchange can be really easy, but empty because it’s missing a depth of relating. We are born to connect. Yet research shows that one in four Americans have no one they feel close enough with to share personal matters. You and I are sitting on a treasure trove. The simplest gift to give is to be with a person 100%. Listening has become a rare experience. When was the last time you felt you had another’s undivided attention? In the details of our days, it’s easy to forget the truth that giving of yourself, at its essence, is precious. And you always have what it takes to give of yourself. In every situation, there is something valuable and positive you can offer. When you give of yourself, you make a difference in the way only you can.
Editor/Publisher Louise Sukle
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Sales Manager Dave Brown
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Advertising Representative Tina M. Rinehart 717-421-3247 tinarinehart@pressandjournal.com
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Contributing Writers Debra Baer Becker dbbecker2@yahoo.com
Lisa Rae DeRosa
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Brenda Tadych
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Creative Director Julianna Sukle
julianna@juliannasukle.com Louise Sukle Publisher/Editor lsukle@womannewspapers.com
™ Dauphin County edition Cumberland County edition Web site: www.womannewspapers.com
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Our local American Cancer Society’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk is a shining example of giving of yourself. Staff and friends of Woman Newspapers (above) joined the tide of women, men, boys, girls and dogs sporting tutus, crazy costumes, hot pink wigs and every other manner of pink apparel, all gathered to raise money for a great cause.
Woman newspapers, Dauphin County and Cumberland County editions, are published bimonthly and are available free of charge, by subscription, display stand in approved private and public establishments and authorized locations only. Trademark and U.S. Copyright Laws protect Woman newspapers. No part of this paper may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher. Woman newspapers are not responsible for any editorial comment (other than its own), typographical errors from advertisements submitted as camera-ready or any reproductions of advertisements submitted as camera-ready. If an advertisement does not meet our standards of acceptance, we may revise or cancel it at any time, whether or not it has been already acknowledged and/or previously published. The advertiser assumes sole responsibility for all statements contained in submitted copy and will protect and indemnify Woman newspapers, its owners, publishers, and employees, against any and all liability, loss or expense arising out of claims for libel, unfair trade names, patents copyrights and propriety rights, and all violations of the right of privacy or other violations resulting from the publication by this newspaper of its advertising copy. Publisher shall be under no liability for failure, for any reason, to insert an advertisement. Publisher shall not be liable by reason of error, omission and/or failure to insert any part of an advertisement. Publisher will not be liable for delay or failure in performance in publication and/or distribution if all or any portion of an issue is delayed or suspended for any reason. The publisher will exercise reasonable judgment in these instances and will make adjustments for the advertiser where and when appropriate. Woman newspapers assume no responsibility for unsolicited material or reproductions made by advertisers. This newspaper will be published by the 15th of every other month. Representations by Woman newspapers, a wholly owned subsidiary of Press And Journal, Inc. ©2002™.
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6 tips for making a hassle-free holiday meal
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Have a plan It is important to plan ahead of time, especially if you are cooking for a large group. Choose recipes and shop early, giving you time to enjoy the process. Head to the grocery store with a list that matches store aisles, and while there, choose time-saving ingredients such as pre-chopped nuts and any sauces or condiments you will not be making from scratch. Shorten your to-do list by precooking or baking foods and freezing them until ready to use; just thaw the day before and re-heat on party day.
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Take time for yourself The day before your guests arrive, set the table and put the finishing touches on your dining table and other rooms in which you’ll entertain. Then, take a brisk walk or do another activity for 30 minutes – anything that helps you unwind. In addition to giving you a few minutes to yourself, this pre-event exercise actually affects how fat is processed after a big meal – a bonus in your favor.
Be sure you have the best cookware Those who plan on cooking a holiday meal will use an average of seven pots and pans (including bakeware). So before starting your holiday meal you’ll want to make sure you have the right tools. Go through your cabinets and drawers, checking your cookware against your recipes. If baking, you’ll want to ensure you have wet and dry measuring cups to get your desserts just right. Roasting a turkey? Use a roasting pan and rack that are nonstick to avoid a long soak at the end of the day. For gravy make sure your pan is metal-utensil safe so you can whisk in the flour and other ingredients without worry of scratching the surface.
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Clean as you cook
Start the day right Eating a light, healthy breakfast early will help you power through the day and make sure you’re at your best when your guests arrive. Be sure to stay hydrated throughout the day; this helps curb your appetite and prevents over indulging.
Ask for help
It’s no surprise that 7 out of 10 Americans agree that cleaning up is the worst part of cooking holiday meals – some people will spend more than three hours in the kitchen after the meal is done. But cleaning needn’t be a chore if you clean as you go and use carefree nonstick pots and pans. If you’re among the 78 percent of Americans who will use nonstick pans to make a holiday meal, go ahead and put those pans in the dishwasher. Just be sure they are dishwasher safe; if you’re unsure, check the manufacturer’s care instructions.
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There’s nothing wrong with asking guests to bring a dish, dinner supplies or even showing up early or staying later to help with prep or clean. If you’re cooking for your family, set up a preparation station at the kitchen table where adults can help slice and dice and kids can mash and mix.
Remember that the holidays are supposed to be a festive time with friends and family. So relax and enjoy this holiday season both in and out of the kitchen.
Source: Family Features
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Source: Family Features
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Charitable gifting - ’tis the season By Jan L. Brown, Attorney at Law CRATs, CRUTs, NIM-CRUTS, NICRUTS, FLIP-CRUTS, CLATs and CRTswhat in the world do these terms mean? Well, in the estate planning world with our complex laws and tax code, these acronyms are Trusts used with charitable gifting and estate planning strategies. They stand for Charitable Remainder Annuity Trusts, Charitable Remainder Unitrust, Net Income with Make-Up Trust, Net Income Trust, Charitable Lead Annuity Trust, and Charitable Remainder Trusts. Each Trust has its own properties, advantages and requirements. One of the more popular Trusts is the CRAT (Charitable Remainder Annuity Trust.) This Trust requires the donor (giver) transfer assets to a Trust naming the donor’s charity of choice as the beneficiary of the Trust. In turn, the donor is allowed tax deductions plus the donor receives an income stream for a specific number of years (the term) or during his/her lifetime. The income stream is a fixed amount based on the amount of the contribution. For example, Mr. Smith transfers a portion of his investment portfolio to a Trust for Charity XYZ. Depending upon the current value of the portion being gifted, a monthly income is provided to Mr. Smith for 20 years and he is able to take tax deductions for the gift. At the end of the term, in this scenario 20 years, the remainder amount in the Trust is then transferred from the Trust to the charity itself, terminating the Trust. If someone is financially able to give away some of their assets during their lifetime in exchange for an income stream, a CRAT is a good option. Most people who use CRATs transfer highly appreciated assets, i.e., stocks, so capital gains tax can be avoided on those assets. The IRS requirements regulating CRATs are very specific and of course must be followed.
WHO
Not many people are able or comfortable with the idea of giving away their money or investments during their lifetime. For most people, if they wish to include a charity in their estate planning, naming the charity in their Last Will and Testament is a better option and easier. A certain amount of money can be designated in a specific bequeath or the charity(ies) can be named to receive a portion or percentage of the entire estate. The bequeath or portion going to a charity is taxed at a zero rate as long as the charit(ies) has qualified as such under the IRS rules. It is surprising how many organizations that appear to be charities are not qualified or recognized as charities by the IRS. Although using a Last Will and Testament to leave part of your estate to your favorite charity is the easiest way, it is still very important to make sure that your Will is drafted carefully and thoughtfully. Without the attorney understanding not only how the Will should be drafted but how the estate will be administered, your estate goals can be easily defeated which is the exact opposite of the good estate planning. Jan L. Brown and Associates is a law firm founded in 1993 to help families. The firm has over 43 years of combined experience and practices exclusively in the areas of estate planning, probate and elder law. Estate planning includes Wills, Powers of Attorneys, Living Wills, Trusts, Tax Planning, Special Needs Trusts and Guardianships. Elder law addresses the legal issues of seniors, their families and those who care for them including obtaining benefits, such as Medicare, Medicaid and VA benefits and protecting assets from nursing home care costs. The information presented is for educational purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice as every client and situation is different and requires specific review and analysis. If you would like an appointment, please call (717) 541- 5550.
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Attorney Jan L. Brown
Practice Exclusively In: • Estate Planning & Probate: Wills, Trusts, Powers of Attorney, Tax Planning, Special Needs Trusts
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Find out how you can market directly to the decision-makers.
• Elder Law: Protecting Assets From Nursing Home Costs, Qualifying for Benefits, Incapacity Planning
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Call Tina Rinehart at (717) 421-3247
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Members of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys
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Be A Savvy Shopper
Be realistic.
It’s no secret. Holiday shopping can take a real toll on the pocketbook and send some people spiraling into debt. It’s not uncommon for some holiday shoppers to charge so much that they have to spend the rest of the year paying it off. Fortunately, there are ways you can keep costs down. By Tresa Erickson
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You do not have to purchase a gift for everyone you know. The holidays should be more about togetherness and less about gifts. Buy only for the people who would truly appreciate a gift. Some people on your list might be uncomfortable with the tradition of exchanging gifts or prefer some time with you instead. Respect their wishes.
Make a list. Jot down the names of people you intend to buy for and the gifts you intend to buy them. Again, you do not have to go all out. Find out what each person wants and purchase a gift that suits them and your budget. Should their gift requests be way out of your league, look for something more affordable. Remember, it is the thought that counts.
Set a budget. Determine how much you can afford to spend rather than how much you are willing to spend. This is not the time to rack up credit card debt, accrue hundreds of dollars in interest and spend months afterwards paying for it. If you have a rather long list, consider making some gifts or purchasing smaller, less expensive gifts.
Shop for deals. Compare flyers and circulars. Check out the deals online. Use your smart phone apps. Get as much information as you can about where the best deals are and research the products in detail. Know if you are getting a quality product at a good price. Then, follow the retailers in social media and sign up for email alerts for further deals. Look for coupons as well. Take advantage of every resource possible to keep prices down.
Purchase with cash. Tally up the prices of the gifts you expect to buy that day and carry that amount of cash with you. Leave the credit cards at home. This will help you avoid impulse buys and stay on track. Should you go over the amount budgeted for a particular gift, stop right there and make the necessary adjustments elsewhere on your list. Don’t assume you’ll make up the difference somewhere along the line. Chances are you won’t.
Be smart with your holiday purchases. Buy only for those you must and don’t be afraid to get a group gift. A couple of movies for a family of four will show that you care and keep your budget intact. You can always make gifts, too.
Protect your retirement Submitted by Chris Dixon, AAMS Edward Jones Financial Advisor Short-term interest rates are at historic lows - and the Federal Reserve plans to keep them that way for awhile. But long-term rates may rise in the nottoo-distant future. If you invest in fixedincome vehicles, such as bonds, what might higher rates mean for you? If long-term rates rise, the value of your existing bonds will decline because other investors won’t pay full price for your bonds when they can get new ones issued at higher rates. Examine your fixedincome portfolio to determine if it’s heavily weighted toward long-term bonds. If so, you may want to consider repositioning some of these assets and possibly using them to help build a “bond ladder” containing bonds of varying maturities. Then, when market rates are low, you’ll still have your longer-term bonds earning higher interest rates. And when market rates rise, you can reinvest your maturing short-term bonds at the higher rates. Consider building such a ladder - it may help you in all interest-rate environments. But you must evaluate whether the bonds held within the bond ladder
are consistent with your investment objectives, risk tolerance and financial circumstances. This article was written by Edward Jones for use by your local Edward Jones Financial Advisor.
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How to find help with VA disability claims By Elizabeth G. Simcox, Esquire, Executive Director, Dauphin County Bar Association We are all well aware in these troubled times around the world that our United States military is working hard to preserve our safety and freedom here at home. As you also know, many suffer injuries while serving. When service men and women return from duty, these vets often have difficulty getting assistance with servicerelated conditions. You often do not need an attorney when you are first applying for VA benefits. You can rely on an agent of a veterans service organization to assist you with your application. Generally, no individual or organization may charge a fee for help with filing an initial application for benefits. However, you should consult a VA certified attorney if you have applied for disability benefits and received a denial letter and intend to file an appeal or you need a discharge upgrade to qualify for VA benefits. The process can be complex and lengthy and when a vet is issued a denial by the VA, it may not be due to the fact that there is no valid claim, but due to the
many hurdles that have to be overcome in order to successfully bring a claim. Federal law dictates that no one may help a veteran in the preparation, presentation and prosecution of an initial claim for VA benefits unless that person is accredited. According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, VA accreditation is for the sole purpose of providing representation services to claimants before VA and does not imply that a representative is qualified to provide financial planning services or is otherwise endorsed by VA. Having an attorney to navigate through the VA labyrinth can reduce the number of headaches you have to go through. There are many lawyers who specialize in disability law, but it is important to locate an accredited attorney who has expertise in veterans disability law. There are resources that can help you in this process. The Dauphin County Bar Association (DCBA) initiated a program to assist vets with denied disability claims. This program is called the DCBA Veterans Disability Lawyer Referral Service. You can call the Bar Association at 717-836-5154 to consult with an attorney.
Do I have grounds for divorce? Should I leave the house? Do I qualify for support of any kind? What should I do about the bank accounts? 2080 Linglestown Rd. Suite 201, Harrisburg (717) 540-9170
Do I need a pre-nuptial agreement? What can I do to improve my chances of being awarded primary custody?
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Answers to these commonly asked questions differ, depending on the complexity of the case. We strive to help clients understand what actions to take, based on their particular situation. Serratelli, Schiffman & Brown P.C. has experience before all county courts throughout Central Pennsylvania in issues related to divorce, equitable distribution, alimony, child custody, child support and spousal support. We also assist clients with co-habitation and pre-marital agreements.
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The Public Service Committee of the Dauphin County Bar Association operates a Lawyer Referral Service which assists individuals in identifying private attorneys appropriate to their needs who can then be retained for their professional advice and representation. Call the Bar Association headquarters at (717) 232-7536 (option 2) Monday through Friday from 9 am to 4:30 pm to be referred to an experienced attorney.
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What to do when love hurts…physically By Cara A. Boyanowski, Esq. With the recent Ray Rice headlines and focus on domestic violence, a short tutorial surrounding the history of the Pennsylvania Protection from Abuse Act is in order. The original Pennsylvania Protection from Abuse Act was passed in October 1976. With the passage of the Act, Pennsylvania became only the second state to legislatively respond to the needs of battered women. However, in its original form, the Act was fairly basic and granted protection only to family members who resided together, leaving divorced and separated women completely unprotected. With the passage of the many amendments that followed, the Act expanded the term “family members” to include both family and household members, sexual or intimate partners, or persons who share biological parenthood. The current act also broadens the term “abuse” to include not only physical abuse, but sexual abuse, stalking, and false imprisonment. Current orders may direct all or one of the following actions to take place: stop the abuse; evict the abuser from a
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residence; establish support; confiscate weapons of the abuser; and direct the payment of financial losses including medical and moving expenses. A final order of abuse can last for three years. Final orders are entered after both parties have a chance to present testimony in open court. Prior to the entrance of a final order, a victim of abuse may request the entrance of an emergency order, which is entered by a magisterial judge when the court is closed for business. These orders only remain in effect until the next court business day. A victim of abuse could also request an ex parte temporary order, which provides immediate protection without considering testimony from the alleged abuser. The temporary order remains in effect until the “formal” hearing, which by statute, must take place within 10 business days.
5 must-haves for every woman’s closet By Lisa DeCavalcante, Owner, Little Black Dress With these five essentials in your closet, you’ll always have the ability to mix and match anything in your wardrobe. #1-A great pair of skinny jeans in a dark wash: Great jeans are a wardrobe staple and different cuts and washes take you different places. The most versatile is a pair of dark and skinny jeans. Try cuffed-up on the weekend with flats for running errands. Change to a pair of heels and they work perfectly for date night. Tuck them into boots and add a boyfriend cardigan and they look fresh and professional enough for a dress-down day at the office. #2-A little black dress: The “go-to” piece in every woman’s closet. Does it have to be black? No! Any solid-color, classic dress can be pressed into service for a number of functions and situations. A sleeveless style may seem too seasonal or dressy, but add a thin turtleneck and you have a great day dress. Wear it with sparkly jewelry and it’s a party dress. Layer a structured jacket on top, add pumps and you are ready to hit the boardroom.
#3-Flat riding boots: Flat boots will take you from fall to spring in style. Pair with skinny jeans and you’re ready for a weekend getaway of walking shopto-shop or museum-to-museum. Look pulled-together and professional with tights and a dress for the office or pull them on with leggings for a slightly upscale, but still downtown look. #4-Leggings: The dress code-friendly member of the skinny jeans family. Worn in all the styles and situations mentioned in #1, but feel free to put them on midweek for a work look that doesn’t have to wait for casual Friday. Caution: make sure they are opaque and paired with a tunic long enough to graze the top of your thighs. #5-A cardigan in a neutral tone that’s flattering to you: The classic cardy can work over a plain white tee and jeans for a weekend look. Layer over a crisp white shirt, add a skinny belt and transform a skirt or trouser to office chic. Throw on unbuttoned over a cocktail dress as the perfect topper to keep the chill away in an air conditioned ballroom or to get you from the car to the center of the party without having an expensive coat to leave at the coat check stand or in a pile in someone’s bedroom.
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BEFORE&AFTER WOMAN brings you the latest amazing makeover by Sass Salon & Day Spa: Kendra Gruber, Lemoyne
Kendra before
Kendra after
Kendra Gruber, who was nominated for the makeover by her grandmother, began her day with a calm, relaxing Salt Therapy Session as Missy treated her to a stress-relieving head and foot massage. Amber transformed Kendra’s faded red shoulder-length hair into a rich,vibrant red and added dark brown lowlights for dimension. Amber then gave Kendra a dramatic, angled-bob style. For the finishing touches, she then met with Bridget for a flawless airbrush makeup application. Using warm, rich colors to emphasize Kendra’s natural tones and bright lips was all that was needed to complete her fun, sexy new style! ASS salon ✿ SBeauty Tip:
It’s time to refresh your hair for fall! Try adding lowlights or add some shine with a gloss or glaze. (The shinier the better!)
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Monday to Friday 9 am - 8 pm, Saturday 9 am - 5 pm www.sassspaandsalon.com
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fun, family, &food! The holidays are packed with enjoyable activities. But hectic schedules, holiday stress, and tasty indulgences at every turn can lead to a few extra pounds by the year’s end. Fortunately, with a few smart strategies, joyful eating doesn’t have to result in holiday weight gain. Dr. Aimee Gould Shunney, licensed naturopathic doctor specializing in women’s health and family medicine says to forget the all-or-nothing attitude during the holiday season. “Depriving yourself of holiday foods isn’t part of a healthy eating strategy and it’s no fun! It will make you more likely to overeat other foods and less likely to feel satisfied. Allow yourself a small portion of your favorite food and enjoy it.” Shunney reminds people it’s important to maintain perspective during the holidays. If you overindulge at a party, put it behind you. The most important things to remember are balance and moderation.
Tips for enjoying holiday foods to the fullest without gaining weight. Be realistic. Setting goals to lose weight over the holidays is unrealistic. Strive to maintain your weight and not gain.
Don’t skip meals. Skipping meals will cause your blood sugar to drop, making you irritable and causing you to burn calories less efficiently. You are also more likely to overeat if you arrive at a party famished.
Eat a light snack. Having a small piece of fruit, yogurt, cheese, or almond butter on an apple or banana before going out will make you less likely to binge on fattening or sweet foods later.
Eat slowly. Chew your food thoroughly so you can taste it and enjoy it!
Plus, chewing well aids in the digestion process. Remember, it takes up to 15 minutes to feel the effects of food.
Be selective. Take small portions of all your favorite foods, empha-
sizing protein, vegetables, and high-fiber options. Don’t eat sweets or carbohydrates alone, and keep your protein intake regular throughout the day.
Make a plan. Decide when you are done. When you have tried a
little bit of all your favorite foods and feel satisfied, put your napkin on your plate, have a mint or a piece of gum, and pour yourself a glass of water to sip.
Choose your beverages wisely. Alcohol is high in
calories - about 7 calories per gram. Liquors, sweet wine, and sweet mixed drinks (holy eggnog!) contain 150-450 calories per glass. Try to alternate your alcoholic beverage with water or a fruit juice spritzer.
Exercise. Classes and group activities are great, but
this time of year it’s extra helpful to have a form of exercise that can be done on your own schedule, like walking, running, swimming, or doing an exercise video. Another option: Grab a family member or the dog and go for a walk before or after a large meal. It’s a great way to get some time with a loved one, or maybe a bit of alone time for yourself.
Focus on life’s sweet moments.
Sometimes, when things get stressful and hectic, dessert or a glass of wine can seem like the quickest, easiest way to reward yourself. But does it really get the job done? And more importantly, does it serve you long-term? Make a list of all the things that bring you pleasure and joy. Try to do one every day. Source: BPT
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MY SUCCESS STORY by Shelby Seaton
Patience is key My name is Shelby Seaton, I am 23 years old and I reside in south central PA. I am a college graduate of York College of PA.
One day I received an email about a job fair with some prospective employers I knew I would love to work for. Feeling discouraged from being unemployed for so long, I tried to talk myself out of going. With enough self-confidence and motivation, I worked up the courage to go.
I struggled with finding a job after I graduated from college but after 10 months of searching, I finally found a job that would be my “foot in the door” for my career.
After the networking event, I landed an interview with a local television station. This was my first job interview related to my career field so I was extremely excited and the first thing I thought was, “What am I going to wear?” With me not working for so long I did not have enough money to go out and buy anything nice for the interview. I remember as a college student my scholarship coordinator recommended Dress for Success South Central PA for an interview outfit. I have been at my job for 6 months now and I must say that I absolutely love it! I have been able to show up to work, confident in not only what I wear but in myself as well. Not only has Dress for Success South Central PA expanded my wardrobe, it has encouraged me to persevere.
With my very first job out of college I unloaded trucks and pealed plastic off of clothes. While working there, I often thought, “I’m a recent college graduate, working for a minimum wage job. I can’t believe this!”
The mission of Dress for Success South Central PA is to promote the economic independence of disadvantaged women by providing professional attire, a network of support and the career development tools to help women thrive in work and in life.
DRESS FOR SUCCESS South Central PA locations: Harrisburg 717-232-1333 York 717-764-3330 Lebanon 717-270-5337 southcentralpa@dressforsuccess.org www.dressforsuccess.org/southcentralpa
MY SUCCESS STORY is a special feature sponsored by:
AND
Like most college grads, you expect to land your dream job after you graduate. What I’ve learned is that patience is the key. Every small step that I have taken has placed me where I am today. Following that first job, I got a job at a portrait studio. After working there for a few months I was unfortunately laid off and back to square one.
Shelby Seaton
Where to find a
WEST SHORE LOCATIONS • Camp Hill: 2020 Salon, American Home Medical, A Special Touch, BodyLogic, Camp Hill Café, Center for Women’s Health, Central Pa. OB/GYN Inc., Christian Life Assembly Pastoral Care, Cornerstone Coffeehouse, CPRS Physical Therapy, Drexel Group, Face To Face Cosmetics, Family Development Services, Foos OB/GYN, PC, Franklyn Studio, Fredrickson Library, Gable Associates, Genevieve’s Beauty Salon, Giant Foods, Gold’s Gym, Hair Care Center, Hanger/Teufel, Hard Bean News & Coffee, The Healthy Grocer, Herd Chiropractic Clinic, Heritage Cardiology Associates, Highmark, Holy Spirit Hospital, Individual & Family Services, Kenneth & Co. Beauty Clinic, Kosmetique Salon, Mirage Hair Design, Momentum Business Solutions, Orthopedic Institute, Dr. Ida Page, Pennsylvania Bakery, Premier Vein Specialists, Prescriptions for Enlightening Paths, Stephen Rydesky Jr., DMD, Trindle Bowl, Urology Assoc. of Central PA, WatersEdge, Woods at Cedar Run, YMCA • Enola: CA Nails, The Goddard School, East Pennsboro Library, Summerdale Diner, Synchrony ChiroCare • Lemoyne: Adult Medicine & Aesthetics, Baby Bug n Me, Conforti Physical Therapy, First Choice Rehabilitation, Gunn Mowery Insurance Group, Infinity Hair Salon, Internists of Central PA, Nail Touch, Paper Lion Gallery, Partners in Women’s Healthcare, Polished, Style Unlimited, Womb With A View • Mechanicsburg: ABC Lanes West, Allstate Insurance, Art Depot, Autobody by Lucas, Beaudry Oral Surgery, Bethany Village, Bowmansdale Family Practice, Brewhouse Grille, Brothers Restaurant, Center for Independent Living of Central PA, Central PA Oral & Maxillofacial Surgery, Colour Forte, Community Health Resource Library, Cost Cutters, Cumberland Valley OB/GYN, Delta Development, Enterprise Sales, Executive Offices at Rossmoyne, Farrell Plastic Surgery, First Choice Rehabilitation, Gettysburg Pike Animal Clinic, The Goddard School, Great Lengths, Hair Image, The Hair Loft, Healthy Inspirations, Hetrick Center, Hoover Rehabilitation Services, Huntington Learning Center, JC Penney Salon, Jones, Daly, Coldren & Assoc., Juice-N-Java Café, Kids Kutters, Madden Physical Therapy, Majors Select Collision Group, The Mane Difference, Meadwood Sr. Citizen Apts., Mechanicsburg Mystery Bookshop, Mechanicsburg Public Library, Merry Maids, McCafferty Ford, My Gym Children’s Fitness Center, Naturelle Nail, Oakwood Breast Cancer Center, Passiton, Quest Diagnostics, Ramada Inn, Rich Connor Associates, Sahara Tanning, Sass Hair Salon, Shepherdstown Family Practice, Sherry & Co. Family Hair, Stratis/Gainer Plastic Surgery, Studio 7 Nail Salon, Styles Boutique, Sue Witters Beauty Salon, Tressler Counseling & Ed. Services, Twin Ponds West, Vanessa’s, West Shore Surgery Center • New Cumberland: A Heavenly Touch Beauty Spa, Bridge St. Coffee, New Cumberland Library • Wormleysburg: Susquehanna Surgeons, Ltd., Your Crowning Glory
EAST SHORE LOCATIONS • Elizabethtown: Now Wear This • Harrisburg Area: A Physical Therapist, AARP Sr. Employment, Affordable Dentures, All About Faces Community Dermatology, Arthritis Foundation, Associated Cardiologists, Auditor General’s Childcare Center, Bakare & Associates, Barbara Sullivan’s Classic Hair Design, Baturin & Baturin, Baughman Family Medicine, Beauty Bar, Belco Federal Credit Union, Blue Mountain Family Practice, Broad Street Market, Bronstein Jeffries Professional Associates, Café Fresco, Capital Region Sleep Disorder Center, Casual Cut, CAT, Central PA Oral Surgeons, Central PA Surgical Associates, Central Penn Fitness, Chartwood Dental Center, Colonial Park Animal Clinic, Colonial Park Diner, Cost Cutters, CPRS Physical Therapy, Crown Plaza Hotel, CVS, Dauphin County Department of Aging, Dr. Zuckerman, Dress For Success, East Shore Public Library, Exit Realty Capital Area, Felicita, First Choice Rehabilitation, First Impressions, Giant, HACC, Hair Biz, Harrisburg City Hall, Harrisburg Mall, Harrisburg Uro-Care, Harrisburg Visitors Center, Hildebrand Learning Center, Hilton Towers, Holiday Inn Express, Homeland Center, Innovations, Jan L. Brown & Associates, Jan’s Beauty Salon, Jewish Family Services, Karns, Kindred Place, Kline Pediatric Center, Kmart, La Piazza, Labor & Industry Building, Leber & Banducci Plastic Surgery, Mangia Qui, Manor at Oakridge, Mazzetti & Sullivan Counseling Services, Memorial Eye Institute, Mia Testarossa, New Passages, Noah’s Animal Hospital, Orbit Salon, PA Mentor Network, Party City, Pasquale’s Restaurant, Peachtree Restaurant & Lounge, PHEAA Building, Pheasant Hill Estates, Pinnacle Community Hospital, Premier Eye Care, Promenade Restaurant, PSECU Childcare Center, Quest Diagnostics, Rhoads & Simon LLP, Rite Aid, Sam’s Club, Silvers Dental Care, Social Security Administration, Sterling Life Insurance, Susquehanna Harley Davidson, Sutliff Chevrolet, Sweet Arrow Springs, The Goddard School, Tristan Associates, Watkin Freshman & Nipple Associates, Weber Vision Care, Weis Market, West Hanover Winery, What If Café, WomanCare Resource Center, Women First, YMCA • Hershey: Cocoa Urology Associates, Dafno’s Italian Grille, Edward M. Mimnaugh Veterinarian, Emerald Springs Spa, Heritage Cleaners, Hershey Dental Associates, Hershey Endoscopy, Hershey Grille, Penn State Hershey Med Center, Hershey Ortho & Spine Rehab, Karns, Leo Frittelli Salon & Day Spa, Hershey Public Library, Merle Norman Cosmetics, Mohler Senior Center, Nestico Druby & Hildebrand, Tristan Associates, What If Café • Highspire: Days Inn, Chubb’s Market, Highspire School Apts., Highspire Senior Center • Hummelstown: Gold’s Gym, Hilton Garden Inn, Soda Jerk, Woodward & Assoc. • Middletown: Hairacy, Hardee’s, The Hetrick Center, Karns, Loretta’s Beauty Salon, McDonald’s, Middletown Area School District, Middletown Home, Middletown Library, Middletown Pharmacy, Penn State Harrisburg, Press And Journal Publications, Sharp Shopper, • STEELTON: Daniel Kambic MD, Dauphin County Housing Authority, Steelton Pharmacy
THIS IS ONLY A PARTIAL LISTING - FOR HELP IN FINDING A LOCATION NEAR YOU,CALL SARA AT 717-944-4628
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nov • dec 2014
www.womannewspapers.com
his morning, on a surprisingly warm day considering that autumn is well under way, I stood outside my local coffee shop. Just a few days ago, the winds were blowing strong and cold and the sun has now begun to set before I even get home from work. I could almost taste autumn in the air (though it might have been the smell of pumpkineverything creeping from each cafe I passed.) While my partner went in to get our food, I perched outside guarding our bicycles. Ten feet away, an older woman sat on the bench by the cafe’s front door amidst several other coffee swillers, and gently asked each person who walked toward the front door if they would be able to help her out with a sandwich. I tried not to pay her much mind. There are a few characters who show up in the neighborhood from time to time, approaching as though they need directions or intend to ask the time, and then launch into long stories that never match what they told you the day before, but always conclude in needing something (money). Usually, said characters do not seem sober and so I feel almost certain that I know the money isn’t going to buy themselves or their kids food or to fare for the bus or subway, as they might try to convince me. I’ve mentioned before that I live in New York City, but I’m sure it’s not all that different anywhere else. We build up shields to strangers. Don’t take up too much of my time. Don’t tell me an obviously false sob story and then ask for my money. Maybe it isn’t like that in other places. Maybe you’re reading this and feeling utterly disappointed in me, your peer on this planet who sometimes turns a cold shoulder to people in need. Here in the City, we’re told all the time to give to charities and organizations that deliver care to those in need, not to those who ask for it on the street or subway. We’re told that this is the only way to ensure your money is going to actually help those in need, by providing food and shelter instead of drugs and the like. But it isn’t always easy to turn away from someone’s story that just gets into your heart. And when I let those moments pass me, the moments where I’m teetering on the fence of do I help and do I look away, it eats at me. So this morning, I stood there and listened to that woman asking for a sandwich outside of a sandwich shop. We all sat or stood around and ignored her. We kept our eyes on our fancy phones. We said nothing except for an occasional “Sorry.” Until a young duo, maybe in their late 20s, approached the front door. Again, the woman asked for help getting a sandwich, but this time the young man stopped and looked at her for a moment. It was just enough of a peripheral pause that I stopped scrolling on my phone to glance up. “What kind of sandwich do you want?” “Whatever you can afford.” And that was it. My heart collapsed. I could afford to buy her a sandwich. I could buy her 10. I could take her to the grocery store and stock her kitchen up for the week. So why didn’t I? Why don’t I?
I’ll tell you the truth. Because I’m uncomfortable. Because I tend to isolate and detach. Because I rarely believe in how good it feels to contribute to the well-being of another until the moment I’ve done it. I want to give, and I want the connection to my community that contributing gives me, but I’m wary of being taken advantage of. I’m nervous that I’ll end up with someone who depends on me, rather than someone whom I might help get on their feet. I am not super happy admitting that. I don’t like that my comfort zone for charity comes with such self-focused conditions. But I also think that being honest about them will help me find a way that I can give. My father retired a few years ago and now, among other things, volunteers with Meals on Wheels, spending a good chunk of one day each week delivering food to those in need. If I don’t yet have that kind of time to contribute, I can certainly send a check. If I couldn’t afford to send a check, I know that online organizations like Charity Navigator (for example) could help me find a way to contribute that suits me. We try to act like philanthropy should be altruistic, that it is never about the mutuality of giving. But the truth is, whether it is helping someone carry a big baby stroller up some subway stairs or sending a donation to WaterAid, I feel better after having helped someone else. I feel better after watching someone help another who is in need. I feel especially better when I know just where my effort or money went, whom it actually helps and how it actually helps them. Recently the ALS Association created one of the most successful viral campaigns ever: “ALS Ice Bucket Challenge”. Did you participate? If gave your $10 – lunch money for much of our country – how did it feel? Was the sound akin to a penny tossed in a wishing well? A nice tight kerplunk followed by quiet? Maybe you challenged 10 friends and one or two carried the momentum forward? Maybe all of them did. Maybe none. Maybe you didn’t even get involved. Either way, more of us know what ALS is (huge success right there) AND, as of the most recent update I found on the ALS Association’s website, the campaign raised about $115 million dollars. Seriously. That tidy little kerplunk of your $10 note that seemed to end with you? It didn’t. Other people gave. And that is the whole point. We don’t do it to be a superhero. We do it because we can. And those that can, when coming together, change everything. As a species, we are better off in communities. It’s how we have survived for so long. But to act like the sense of mutuality is a farce – that the act of giving isn’t also an act of getting – it actually undermines all the best parts of being a part of a community. So for this holiday season, I will put my name on my list. And I will get myself the gift of giving. I may not be able to solve world hunger, but I will find a way to contribute to my community’s well-being – so that I may contribute to myself as well.
Kathryn Baxter is a writer living in BrooKlyn, ny.
www.womannewspapers.com
nov • dec 2014
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big idea: giving LocaLLy
Let’s support the local chapters of nonprofits and charities this hol Arts & Culture Art Association of Harrisburg 717-236-1432 artassocofhbg.com BARAK Inc. Arts & culture for youth 717-695-9466 barakdrama.org
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Giving locally allows you to speak directly to someone while gaining an understanding of how your donation is being used.
Central PA Womyn’s Chorus 717-564-0112 cpwchorus.org Central Pennsylvania Friends of Jazz 717-232-5501 pajazz.org Citizens for the Arts in Pennslvania 717-234-0959 citizensfortheartsinpa.org Cultural Enrichment Fund 717-233-1694 culturalenrichmentfund.org Jump Street 717-238-1887 jumpstreet.org Progressive Education of Children in the Arts Network (PECAN) 717-469-7517 pecaninc.net
Dauphin County Parks & Recreation 717-599-5359 dauphincounty.org/parks-recreation Keystone Trail Association Preserve & protect hiking trails 717-238-7017 kta-hike.org PA Dept. of Conservation & Natural Resources 717-772-0234 dcnr.state.pa.us PA Parks & Forests Foundation 717-236-7644 paparksandforests.org The Nature Conservancy Preserves natural communities 717-232-6001 nature.org/Pennsylvania Pets Animal Rescue Food Bank 717-292-7700 feedrescues.org Best Friends Furever 717-540-8833 bffpa.org Canine Rescue of Central PA, Inc. 717-232-1644 caninerescueofcentralpa.org
Pennsylvania Council on the Arts 717-787-6883 pacouncilonthearts.org
Castaway Critters 717-831-5010 castawaycritters.org
Perry County Council of the Arts 717-567-7023 perrycountyarts.org
Central PA Animal Alliance (CPAA) 717-576-0899 www.cpaa.info
Susquehanna Folk Music Society 717-763-5744 sfmsfolk.org
Friends of All Animals 717-272-6466 friendsofallanimals.org
The Foundation For Enhancing Communities (TFEC) 717-236-5040 tfec.org
Helen O. Krause Animal Foundation 717-697-3377 helenkrause.org
Business & Consumer Better Business Bureau South Central PA Branch 717-364-3250 easternpa.bbb.org PA Attorney General 717-787-3391 attorneygeneral.gov PA Bureau of Consumer Protection 717-787-9707 attygen.net/consumers.aspx environmentAl
Helping Hands For Animals 717-687-7297 helpinghandsforanimals.org
Spay Neuter Assistance Program (SNAP) 717-732-5377 snapofpa.org
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Alder Health Services HIV/AIDS organization 800-867-1550 or 717-233-7190 alderhealth.org Alcoholics Anonymous Harrisburg area: 717-234-5390 Lancaster area: 717-394-3238 American Heart Association Pennsylvania Delaware 717-795-9514 americanheart.org/pa-de American Cancer Society South Central Region 888-227-5445 cancer.org American Diabetes Association Central PA 717-657-4310 diabetes.org American Foundation for Children with AIDS 717-489-0206 afcaids.org American Lung Association Mid-Atlantic 717-541-5864 lungusa.org/associations/charters/mid-atlantic American Red Cross Cumberland County Chapter 717-243-5211 Susquehanna Valley 717-234-3101 American Trauma Society PA Division 717-766-1616 atspa.org
Humane Society of Harrisburg Area (East) 717-564-3320 humanesocietyhbg.org
ARC of Dauphin & Lebanon Counties For persons with mental retardation 717-920-2727 arcofdc.org
Humane League of Lancaster County 717-393-6551 humaneleague.com
Arthritis Foundation Central Pennsylvania 717-763-0900 arthritis.org
Keystone Human Services 717-232-7509 keystonehumanservices.org
Bethesda Mission Services for the homeless 717-257-4442 bethesdamission.org
Alliance for the Chesapeake Bay-PA 717-737-8622 alliancechesbay.org
Merrick Fund Foundation Pays medical bills for adoptable animals 717-215-0674 Merrick-Fund.org
Central Pennsylvania Conservancy Acquires & protects land in Central PA 717-233-0221 centralpaconservancy.org
PAWS No-kill animal rescue & spay/neutering 717-957-8122 pawsofpa.org
Big Brothers/Big Sisters Of the Capital Region 717-236-0199 capbigs.org Caitlin’s Smiles For children with life-threatening conditions 717-412-4759 caitlins-smile.org
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There are plenty of local chapters of organizations and nonprofits that could use your donation. Many of those same groups also have projects that would benefit greatly from some donated time, knowledge and sweat. If you’re looking to understand what the holidays are really about, whatever resource you can spare given directly to your community is a great way of experiencing it firsthand.
his holiday season Capital Area March of Dimes Center 717-545-4534 marchofdimes.com Capital Area Therapeutic Riding Association Horseback riding for disabled persons 717-469-7517 catra.net Catholic Charities 717-657-4808 cchbg.org
Easter Seals Central Pennsylvania Services for people with disabilities 888-372-7280 eastersealscentralpa.org Employment Skills Center Education, Literacy, Employment 717-243-6040 employmentskillscenter.org
Multiple Sclerosis Society Central PA 717-652-2108 Eastern Region 717-509-6301 pac.nationalMSsociety.org Muscular Dystrophy Association 717-540-4316 mda.org
R.O.S.E.S. Ministry Renewing Ourselves in a Secure atmosphere of Emotional & Spritual support (Survivors of D.V. & S.A.) Women’s Weekly Empowerment Group 866-579-1906 wix.com/rosesministry/roses SADD 717-238-4354 padui.org/SADD
Family Health Council of Central PA Cumberland County: 717-243-0515 Dauphin County: 717-234-2468 Lancaster County: 717-299-2895 fhccp.org or planitpa.org
Neighborhood Dispute Settlement Dauphin & Cumberland counties 717-233-8255 disputesettlement.us/cms
Children’s Cancer Recovery Foundation 800-238-6479 childrenscancerrecovery.org
Goodwill Industries Keystone Area 717-394-0647 yourgoodwill.org
Colage Central PA For children with one or more glbt parent 717-979-6353 colage.org
Sexual Assault/Rape Crisis Services Cumberland County 717-258-4324 ywcacarlisle.org
Grantville Community Outreach Link for services in Dauphin & Lebanon counties 717-469-0785
Olivia’s House Support for grieving children 717-699-1133 oliviashouse.org PA Coalition Against Domestic Violence 717-545-6400 pcadv.org
Susquehanna Association for the Blind 717-291-5951 sabvi.com
PA Coalition Against Rape 717-728-9740 pcar.org
Susquehanna Service Dogs 717-599-5920 keystonehumanservices.org/ssd
PA Hunger Action Center 717-233-6705
The PROGRAM Serving Women, Children & Families 717-238-9950 theprograminc.org
Central PA Food Bank 717-564-1700 centralpafoodbank.org Celebrating Hope In Breast Cancer Survivors (CHICS) 717-737-4718
Compeer of Lebanon County Advocacy & Human Rights 717-272-0898 compeer-lebanon.org Community Action Commission Resources for self-sufficiency 717-232-9757 cactricounty.org CONTACT Hotline 717-652-4400 Harrisburg 717-249-6226 Carlisle 800-932-4616 toll free contacthelpine.org Cumberland County Aging & Community Services 717-240-6110 ccpa.net/index.aspx?nid=119 CURE International Children with disabilities in the developing world 717-730-6706 cure.org Dauphin County Human Services dauphincounty.org/government/Human-Services DAWN Depression Awareness and Women’s Needs 717-397-7461 The JT Dorsey Foundation Services for at-risk youth & families 717-329-8937 jtdorsey.org Dress For Success South Central PA Economic independence for disadvantaged women 717-232-1333 dressforsuccess.org/southcentralpa Drug Free PA 717-232-0300 drugfreesolutions.org
Institute for Cultural Partnerships 717-238-1770 culturalpartnerships.org Habitat for Humanity Greater Harrisburg Area 717-545-7299 harrisburghabitat.org Hearts-n-Hands Sertoma Club For patients & families facing life-threatening diagnosis 717-918-4790 hearts-n-hands.org Keystone Community Mental Health Services 717-558-8450 keystonehumanservices.org Lancaster Mediation Center Conflict resolution 717-293-7231 lancmed.org Lebanon Family Health Services 717-273-6741 WIC 717-273-6940 lebanonfamilyhealth.org LGBT Center Coalition 717-920-9534 centralpalgbtcenter.org Manna Food Pantry 717-232-7145 March of Dimes Capital Area 717-545-4534 marchofdimes.com Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) Victim Hotline: 1-800-848-6233 717-657-3911 maddpa.org
New Choices/New Options at PROBE Free career counseling 717-939-2260 probepa.org
Pink Hands of Hope For women fighting breast cancer 717-620-8264 pinkhands.org PFLAG Parents, families & friends of lesbians and gays Central PA: 717-728-8800 pflagcentralpa.org Lancaster: 717-579-2559 York: 717-845-6354 pflagyork.org Planned Parenthood PA Advocates 717-234-3024 plannedparenthoodpa.org Rebuilding Together Greater Harrisburg Free home repair services 717-232-2557 rtgh.org Renaissance of South Eastern PA Transgender education & support 717-332-1247 RenaissanceSEP.org Retired & Senior Volunteer Program Capital Region 717-541-9521 Ronald McDonald House Central PA Support programs for children 717-533-4001 rmhc-centralpa.org
Salvation Army Harrisburg Capital City Region 717-238-8678 harrisburgsalvationarmy.org Senior Net Computer literacy for older adults 717-564-6590
Tri-County OIC Adult learning center 717-238-7318 tricountyoic.org United Cerebral Palsy Central PA 717-975-0611 ucpcentralpa.org United Way of the Capital Region 717-732-0700 uwcr.org Victim Witness Assistance Program Empower victims, witnesses and family members 717-780-7075 victimswitness.org Volunteer Match volunteermatch.org Volunteers of America Pennsylvania 717-236-1440 voapa.org YMCA Harrisburg Area 717-737-9622 ymcaharrisburg.org YWCA of Greater Harrisburg 717-234-7931 ywcahbg.org
On Saturday, I was driving my daughter Kaylyn to the outlet mall. The sky was blue, with popcorn clouds, my favorite kind of day. She wanted to buy two pair of pants because, at 26 years old, she had entered the workforce and needed to increase her work wardrobe. My baby girl, all grown up, and married, too, has her own sense of style, but she still likes shopping with me and values my opinion, which is about the best thing a mother could ask for. We were talking about work, hers and mine, and I said, “I should write something about guilt, but I don’t even know where to start. I’m just not the kind of mother who makes her kids feel guilty.” I glanced at Kaylyn just in time to see her jaw drop. “Mom, are you kidding me? You dish guilt all the time,” she said. She looked away, mumbled OMG. I yielded my way into the freeway’s center lane, looked ahead, and noticed a hazy line of gray clouds on the west side of the horizon, probably one of those pop-up storms the weatherman’s always talking about. “Kay — I don’t believe you. Give me one example,” I said, “How about all of the baby stuff?” she said. “Baby stuff?” I said. I had no idea of what she was talking about. “Every time we walk by the children’s department at Macy’s,” she said, “you dangle baby booties in front of my nose.” “Oh, come on. I only did it once. They were soft and pink and cute as hell,” I said. Kaylyn pushed her hair behind her ears and wound up the length of it into a tight bun. She was wearing the pearl earrings I gave her years ago, but her ears had gone red, and her cheeks were flushed. “How many times have you pointed out some random pregnant woman and said, ““Just think how cute you’ll look when you have a baby bump!”” She mimicked my voice in a way that made me sound like an over-exuberant fool, and maybe I was. “Well,” I said. “You’ll have a bump someday, and you’ll look so darned cute, and we’ll shop for the prettiest clothes, and we can buy little things for the baby, too, and it will all be so much fun, right?” “Mom, I’ve only been married since April,” she said. “We’re not having kids for five years.” “I know. I’m sorry,” I said and exited the freeway and turned onto Premium Outlet Mall Drive. “It’s just that, well, you know, with my cancer scare, I just hope I’ll still be here in five years.” The parking lot circled the outlet center like daisy petals, each one jammed with cars; we weren’t making any progress. “Oh my god, Mom — you just dished the baby guilt again,” she said and turned away from me, to look at SaksOff5th, J. Crew, Ann Taylor, and maybe other sources of happiness. Finally, I found a spot and parked the car. When I look back over this past year, I’ve probably guilt-tripped my daughter about babies every time we have been together. And yes, spiking that guilt with the threat of metastatic cancer to force the timing of a grandchild is really the act of a depraved lunatic. Why did these
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Deb aDvocates for women’s breast health, anD writes about her experience surviving breast she’s writing a book about her years as a young airman with the usaf thunDerbirDs. she holDs an mfa in writing from pacific university, anD is the prouD mother of two aDultsizeD chilDren anD two rescueD Dogs. she lives in houston, texas, but Dreams of her native pennsylvania’s rolling hills anD cut-away fielDs.
cancer.
www.womannewspapers.com
guilt-loaded words fall out of my mouth so easily? Suddenly memories of my maniacal manipulations popped up like Christmas sales at the outlet mall. There was the time about nine months ago — before the wedding — when I was showing Adam, my tall and well-mannered son-in-law, around our home. When we reached the hall bathroom, I pushed back the shower curtain and said, “... and this is the tub that I plan to bathe my grandbabies in — if I ever get any.” They weren’t even married yet! I was a guilt-spewing monster-in- law! It was just last week when I met up with my mom’s group for dinner, a 20-year tradition, seven longtime friends from my old neighborhood, the happy hamlet where our kids grew up. We meet every other month and talk about our kids, just like we did all those years ago when we first met. My friend Denise passed her iPhone around and we gushed and fawned at pictures of her new grandson’s sweet baby face. I was thinking of how quickly time passes. “Now that my kids are grown, my role has evolved to wise confidant or experienced consultant,” I said to these women friends, with my hands resting in my lap and an expression of peace that only Mother Theresa could have imitated. Let’s face it, if Mother Theresa had a daughter she wouldn’t have hounded the poor girl to give her Grandmammy Theresa a baby before the old lady drops dead. How could I ever add a baby to the pile of expectations already heaped on Kaylyn’s silky-haired head? My girl just graduated from the pressure cooker called grad school to take up the stress of her first corporate job, to start her career — and here’s Mom-the-Wise-Counselor blabbering about babies, when the truth is I don’t even want her to take on a puppy right now. I was ashamed of myself. And then I felt guilty. You can’t dish guilt around without splashing it on yourself. My kids are 26 and 23, and they don’t need me trying to manipulate their life’s path like a blind and deaf air traffic controller. What’s closest to my truth is that my kids are grown, my role has changed, and I still have the impulse to mother something. Maybe I should get a puppy. And, yes, the mention of a cancer recurrence is almost unforgivable, except that it is my fear-based motivator; I want to seize every moment, experience all the good stuff of life, all at once, which is nice way of saying I have no patience. We’d shopped our way to the J. Crew store where Kaylyn had found the pants she was looking for and a turquoise cardigan, and gold bangle bracelets. I put my arms around her, gave her a squeeze, and said,“I’m so sorry about the baby stuff.” Kaylyn said, “Mom, don’t worry about it. I know you’re living your life on YOLO.” “Yes,” I said, “I am, but I’m loving right now. Right here. This moment with you, my lovely girl.”
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teaching kids to give back One of the most rewarding reasons to get involved in your community is to set a good example for your kids. Whether you donate money or time, giving back is beneficial, and not just for the recipients.
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he reward for your selfless acts can be a beautiful thing for both your community and your children’s future. But what are some of the ways you can teach kids to give back and what age should you begin encouraging them? Giving back is just as much about volunteering as it is about philanthropy. Dr. Lois Winchell, child and family therapist believes it should be a combination of both. “If we want our children to give back, our families need to be involved in multiple activities,” says Winchell. “These include volunteering resources and time and giving money when possible. Learning how to donate time can be a very powerful lesson for children because it is a giving of ourselves. This intimate experience can be significant and can often reap a more personal reward than the offering of money and things.” As with everything else in life, kids learn best by example. The closer you can bring your child to the recipient of the gift, the more personal the experience becomes. “Nurturing a sense of giving and making sure this is a value for your children starts as early as age 3 or 4,” says Winchell. “At this developmental age, we can teach them that others have feelings and that your child has an impact on those feelings. This sense of empathy is the underpinning of charity. The most significant impact on our children is what they actually see us doing as it relates to a giving spirit. As we engage in specific projects, we can have conversations with our children regarding why the project is important and who will benefit.” Start by expanding their sense of environment, from the immediate family to their local community and eventually the world around them. A sense of awareness of something greater than themselves is important in raising a compassionate individual.
This sense of responsibility to others and the environment as a world citizen can be supported by making children aware of others’ needs whether in visiting a shelter or a food bank with family members or simply helping younger siblings. “From infancy to about 5 years old, children aren’t necessarily capable of thinking outside of themselves. Even so, parents need to foster their child’s sharing with others,” says Winchell. As children grow older they can begin volunteering and supporting community projects more directly. Whether they donate toys to a children’s shelter or simply participate in a walk for charity, these years are important for a child to learn the art of giving back. When they become teenagers, they can do even more for the community by assisting an elderly neighbor with his yard work or helping out at a local food bank or soup kitchen. Additionally, it is important to convey the message that “giving back” does not include an expectation of getting something in return. Instead, highlight the sense of joy in being able to make someone happy and how those feelings are the greater gift. “When a child experiences sharing and the serving of others, an internal sense of contentment and self-worth is experienced,” says Winchell. “This self-enhancement and sense of belonging is coincident with their giving and results in a benefit that cannot be gained any other way. This sense of happiness and accomplishment then contributes to their positive sense of self.” In other words, teaching kids to give back is one of the best things a parent can do for the community and the child.
Source: About Argosy University, Sarasota (BPT)
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your tax benefits from charitable gifts You answer calls to support your alma mater, the local animal shelter and the American Red Cross with gifts of money and volunteer time. And after cleaning out the closets, dressers, kitchen cabinets and garage, you take a trunk load of donations to the thrift store. You know your gifts of cash, time and household items may be tax deductible, but what do you need to do to verify that and maximize your deduction? Being charitable can cut your taxable income, as long as you follow a few simple rules. Those include giving to eligible organizations and keeping accurate records. To determine if you have donated to eligible organizations, search the IRS‚ database of Exempt Organization Select Check at www.irs.gov. Most religious organizations and government agencies are eligible, even if they‚ are not listed in the database. Keeping detailed records is important for accurate valuation of your gifts (and in turn your tax deduction) and in the unlikely event of an audit. Records should include organization name, donation date and amount. For monetary gifts, keep the written acknowledgment from the organization with the donation date and amount. A canceled check or card statement with the transaction date also suffices for gifts under $250. If you receive merchandise, benefits or privileges in exchange for a gift, you must subtract the value of those from the original gift amount. If your payment is more than $75, the organization must give you a written statement with a description and estimated value of the merchandise, goods or services. For noncash donations, document the charity name, date and location of the items, along with a reasonably detailed description of the items. If you receive a receipt from the charity, keep it with your records. The IRS requires additional documentation for vehicle donations. You must receive a written acknowledgment or Form 1098-C from the charity for the vehicle. Noncash donations, such as clothing, kitchen gadgets and furniture, must be in good condition or better. The taxdeductible amount of those items is the fair market value (FMV), the price if they were exchanged between willing buyers and sellers. Special rules apply to donations of cars, boats, airplanes, property subject to debt, investments that have appreciated in value and inventory from your business. Mobile apps can make tracking throughout the year painless. Donation Assistant by TaxACT tracks cash, noncash and recurring gifts, with FMVs for more than 1,300 commonly donated household items. You can also save photos of your donations and receipts. When doing your taxes, import the information and TaxACT Deluxe will calculate your maximum deduction and complete your tax forms. You can deduct charitable gifts you made between Jan. 1 and Dec. 31 only if you itemize deductions on Form 1040 Schedule A. In order to itemize, all of your itemized deductions must exceed the standard deduction amount based on your adjusted gross income and filing status. Additionally, you must file Form 8283 if your noncash contributions total more than $500, and include a qualified appraisal of property worth more than $5,000.
Download the free Donation Assistant app at www.taxact.com/apps and learn more about the tax rules of charitable giving at www.irs.gov and www.taxact.com/taxinfo
See page 21 for apps to make record-keeping easier. Source: BPT
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Pay it forward this holiday season By Christopher Meehan Director of Development, Catholic Charities
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One of my favorite movies is “Pay It Forward.” It’s a story about a young boy who used a homework assignment to develop a plan that will change the world. The basic premise is rather than paying back someone for a favor they do for you, you should pay it forward by doing favors for three others. Those three will help three more people, and so forth. Each of us has been blessed in some sort of way. I personally am thankful for my family, my health, my job, and countless other things. My life isn’t perfect, but when things get me down, it doesn’t take long to realize that I am luckier than a lot of people. When I look at things that way, I count my blessings. This holiday season, I urge you think about the many blessings in your own life. And then, think about those who aren’t as fortunate. And then pay it forward. There are many wonderful organiza-
tions in your community that do fantastic things every day to help those in need. In order to do this, these groups rely on the support of others who donate their time, talent, and treasure to their causes. This year, think about what you can do to help make a difference: make a contribution to your favorite charity, purchase gifts for an Angel Tree Project, volunteer at a shelter, etc. Actions such as these will not only help someone in need. They also are the ideal way to help pay it forward in appreciation for the many blessings we have received. Best wishes for the 2014 Holiday Season and for a Prosperous 2015!
Serve, give and live! By Rosie Turner, Director of Marketing & Communications, Harrisburg YMCA Working for a nonprofit, I have the privilege of interacting with all type of volunteers. From those who volunteer at our Welcome Centers giving tours, to the policy-making volunteers that help guide and shape our organization, I have never stopped being in awe of these giving, kind individuals. Volunteers are what make our organization great, and nothing we do is possible without them. There are also never enough! No matter what you like to do – sing in the shower, read, run, build birdhouses, or sew your own clothes, there is a nonprofit that could benefit from your unique talents! Maybe there is an arts program that needs a little bit of administrative support, or a mentoring program that could benefit from a birdhouse tutorial. Every single person has a talent, and every nonprofit organization can use more support. I’ve
never been turned away after offering to lend support! One of my own passions is volunteering for a local arts organization – talk about a lot of needs and many talents required! There are always costumes to organize and sew, rooms to be spruced, children to mentor, and grounds to be mowed. While I’m helping out, I know that my work is helping to provide children access to arts education, which is so important to me. I’m blessed to use my talents to make that happen! No one needs to pay me, the good feeling I get when I see a performance is more than thanks enough! It helps me appreciate all of the adults who worked there when I was growing up, making it possible for me to learn and grow in a safe place. Allen Klein once said “Research has shown that people who volunteer live longer” and I tend to agree. When you invest your passion in something worthwhile, you can’t help but feel amazingly empowered. That sense of accomplishment bleeds out into your everyday life, and helps you see things in a positive light. I firmly believe that a positive outlook makes you more resilient to the challenges that life throws your way. So why not try it? Grab your running shoes and lead a training team, pitch in to help out a neighborhood cleanup, or just ask a friend if they need help moving that old couch out to the curb. Chance are, you’ll feel like you can take on the world!
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Recent updates to pap guidelines By Deborah J. Herchelroath. D.O. Women should see their gynecologist for an annual pap smear, right? Not necessarily, according to the latest pap smear guidelines. Recommendations have changed because our technology continually improves, as does our understanding of the disease. Most cervical cancers are caused by the HPV virus (Human Papilloma Virus). This virus is transmitted primarily through sexual contact. We now have the ability to test for the high-risk subtypes of this virus. If a patient tests negative for that, the latest guidelines say she may not need a pap smear for three to five years, depending on her age. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t need to see her gynecologist at all, but she may just not need a pap smear. She still needs a breast exam, a pelvic exam, and the opportunity to discuss things like contraception, sexually transmitted diseases, perimenopause, menopause, and bone health. Women should start getting pap
smears at age 21. Again, that doesn’t mean that if a woman younger than 21 needs to discuss birth control, STDs, or any other issue, she can’t or shouldn’t see the gyno. It just means she won’t get a pap smear. Most STDs can be screened through blood or urine specimens. A young female may not even need a pelvic exam. This can give the gynecologist a chance to get to know the patient for several visits before she even needs to take her clothes off. The days of needing a pap smear before you can get your prescription for birth control are long gone. Make sure to discuss the updated guidelines with your doctor at your next appointment.
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Gifts given with respect and dignity Submitted By American Home Medical As we age we still enjoy getting holiday gifts, but many of us have downsized or are in the process of downsizing. Still, there are many thoughtful items that we can use, enjoy and even find extra comfort in our daily lives. Here are some suggestions: • Gift cards for a meal or an ice cream treat with an offer to drive, eat and enjoy the company of your loved one. • Beauty and barber shop gift cards. • Cushion for wheelchair or dining room chairs. • Reacher, button hook, long-handled sponged-back scrubber or a hand-held shower (with promise the giver will install it!). • New fancy cane, walker basket, cup holder or walker tray. • Blood pressure machine to monitor pressure and call results to the doctor weekly. • Gloves, hat, and/or scarf. • Slippers with safety feet. • Night gowns that come below the knee for warmth but not down to the
ankles so falls from getting tangled in the gown will be prevented when needing to get out of bed at night. • Books are popular and many are available on tape and CD or published in large print for those who are sightimpaired. Some books and authors folks really enjoy are Robert Shuller, Helen Steiner Rice, and all the Chicken Soup books that cover topics such as golf, motherhood, fatherhood, military, grandparents and more. • A small picture album of a special trip, reunion, or birth of a grandchild that can be carried in a purse and shared with friends. • Grocery store cards, dollar store cards, Target, kmart or Walmart gift cards are great for those little items we all need and enjoy. • Speaking of small: A new deck of cards or even something as mundane as a fly swatter may be appreciated by someone unable to shop for themselves. Above all, take time to enjoy the company of a loving senior! Happy holidays and have a healthy 2015!
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This app suggests small changes to your daily routine like brewing your own coffee instead of buying it or renting movies instead of going to the theater to create savings that can be donated to charity projects.
Next time you are sitting around wondering what to do on Saturday, open the VolunteerMatch app and decide where to donate your time. Search volunteer opportunities by your location, learn about what is involved and share with your network.
An online app for making traditional donations. Just browse or search listed charities and make a donation. Users can also purchase charity gift cards. Newlyweds and others can also set up a charity registration to ask friends and family to give on their behalf instead of giving actual gifts.
Tracks cash, non-cash and recurring gifts, with FMVs for more than 1,300 commonly donated household items. You can also save photos of your donations and receipts. When doing your taxes, import the information and TaxACT Deluxe will calculate your maximum deduction and complete your tax forms. Available for Android and iOS.
An easy way to keep track of your donations and get back the maximum deductions you deserve for your charitable acts. It also reminds you to take a mileage write-off for all the traveling you did to help your charities, something most people don’t normally think of.
We all have busy schedules and despite our best intentions, our calendars tend to fill up with, well, life. After all is said and done, taking care of those in need can be the last thing on our minds despite our best efforts. The following apps combine philanthropy with your daily routines, so you can help humanity while helping yourself.
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Treatment options for scars and stretch marks By David A. Amato, DO, FAAD
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Skin needling, known as micro-needling or collagen induction therapy, is an effective treatment for acne scars, scars, wrinkles, lines, folds and crow’s-feet. It also refines pores and breaks down pigmentation. Because collagen is produced as a result of the treatment, scars and stretch marks can also improve from repeated treatments, especially indented acne scars or chicken pox scars. The result is smoother, firmer and younger looking skin. Your body’s collagen production usually takes about 4-8 weeks, so improvements will continue over this time. Micro-needling is performed using a micropen, an automated needling treatment that is safe and effective on all skin types without the risk of discoloration. The micropen uses small microneedles to create a series of precise, controlled epidermal and dermal microinjuries, thereby stimulating the body’s immune response and producing new collagen and elastin. Hyaluronic acid and other gels or serums can be infused into the skin during the treatment.
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Fulfill a need
Ask around and find out if the couple is in need of anything. Perhaps they could use some item repaired or replaced. Step up to the plate. Practical gifts often make the best gifts.
By Tresa Erickson
Continue a service
Chances are the couple subscribes to some type of service, whether a daily newspaper, weekly housekeeping or monthly fruit club. Find out what services they subscribe to and pick up one for a few weeks or months, depending upon your budget.
Schedule an outing
Find out what’s on tap around town and consider purchasing some tickets for the couple. Perhaps a concert or ball game is coming up that the couple might enjoy. Perhaps they would like to go horseback riding, ice skating or sky diving. Whatever they are up for, you can probably arrange an outing for it.
Spend time together
There is nothing more enjoyable than spending time with others. If you can’t find a gift for the couple, spend some time with them instead. Take them to a movie or play a round of golf with them. Do something fun together and build some memories.
Offer skills and labor
Everyone could use help with projects around the house or office. Instead of a gift, give the couple assistance with a project. Put your handyman skills to work and help them renovate their bathroom. Work your magic in the kitchen and cater their office party. Use your green thumb and help them landscape their yard.
Give back
Sometimes for people who have everything, nothing is more special than giving back to the community. Perhaps you could make a monetary contribution to the charity of the couple’s choice or volunteer with them one morning or afternoon.
Get creative
If only a tangible gift will do, think outside of the box. Shop around for unique gifts and try to find one that suits the tastes and interests of the couple. There is any number of unique gifts you could give, from a voice-activated universal remote control to monogrammed stemware.
We’ve all been there. You make out a list of people to shop for, start jotting down some holiday gift ideas and come up short on a couple of names. While wonderful people, the couple appear to have everything and more. There is nothing you can think of that they don’t have or have had at some point. Now, what are you supposed to buy for them this holiday season? Here are some ideas.
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WE CATER TO YOU! Birthdays, holidays, corporate events, weddings, reunions and more!
Serve it up easy for the holidays Whether you’re preparing for a large buffet or an intimate dinner, hosting holiday meals can be less stressful when food is prepared, cooked and served in bakeware that can go from the oven to the table. Prepare your dishes ahead of time in oven-to-table bakeware and then refrigerate until it’s time to cook. Remember, there’s a longer bake time than called for in the recipe if the dish has been in the refrigerator. With fewer dishes to clean up, you’ll be able to spend more time with your holiday guests. Serve this Apple Cranberry Cobbler recipe for a Thanksgiving feast, holiday potluck or Christmas gathering.
Apple Cranberry Cobbler Servings: 6
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3 Gala apples, peeled, cored and cut into 1/2-inch thick slices 1 1/2 cups fresh/frozen cranberries 2 teaspoons lemon juice 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1/2 cup granulated sugar 2 tablespoons cornstarch 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1 10.2 oz container refrigerated home-style biscuits, quartered 2 tablespoons butter, melted 2 tablespoons coarse or sparkling sugar Preheat oven to 375oF. Prepare small oval pan with vegetable pan spray. In large bowl, combine apple slices, cranberries, lemon juice and vanilla. In small bowl, combine granulated sugar, cornstarch and cinnamon. Stir into fruit mixture. Spoon mixture into prepared pan. Cover pan with foil. Bake on cookie sheet 40-45 minutes or until fruit begins to bubble. Remove from oven. Toss biscuits in melted butter and distribute evenly over fruit, pressing biscuits down slightly into filling. Sprinkle biscuits with coarse sugar. Return to oven and bake 18-20 minutes or until biscuits are browned and filling is bubbly. Remove from oven. Cool 15 min. before serving. Source: Family Features. For more holiday recipes and inspiration, visit wilton.com.
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Weathering
We can learn a lot from our outdoor neighbors. Trees, plants and flowers have the ability to weather storms and then return to their natural disposition as if nothing happened. Take the tiger lilies in my garden. They’re quite the lookers, tall and alluring, and they light up the garden with their lava color. Natural beauties for sure. They don’t thrive on the compliments of passersby. They’re not envious of another flower. What you see is what you get. They are a sight to behold normally, but after Mother Nature wreaks havoc on them in a thunderstorm and they faint onto the neighboring bleeding heart plants, they’re not quite as pretty. People do it, too – collapse after fighting the good fight. Like the tiger lilies, we are the cat’s meow until some unexpected tempest knocks us off our feet. But we can count on the tiger lilies resuming their poise before very long. The corn field behind our house usually resembles a platoon of green soldiers, but after a howling storm opens up a can of whoop ass, they all bend in unison, leaning at the same angle. They may be pushed around and shoved out of place, but they won’t stay that way for long. They’ll begin to see the light, and reach for it, and in a short time, we’ll find them standing proud and tall again. They don’t wait to see what another tree or plant or flower will do first before correcting their path. We humans can learn a mighty lesson from a corn stalk. We forget how to use our personal compass to get results. In fact, we often forget we even have such a thing as personal compass. Instead we allow our confidence to be constructed after observing someone else’s strength. We’re afraid to try things on our own without someone else’s proof that it will be alright. We settle for less than we’re worth until someone gives us permission to take action. Plants are in touch with their power. They don’t easily let weeds crowd them out. They don’t wait for another plant to grow first. They never quit. When part of them gets lopped off, it adapts. It may take some time for the initial shock to wear off, and it may grow back at a different angle and have a few leftover bumps, but it will grow back. Plants don’t give up. They may wither from thirst during dry spells, but all they need is a drink when the rain comes and they posture up, opening their green limbs, performing in the pageant of our garden again. Trees take change in stride. As summer turns to autumn, the trees give us a phenomenal color festival. Winter will come, putting most of their leaves to sleep, giving them time to prepare for their next phase of growth in the spring. Life is eternal, they tell us. Chin up, so to speak, aim for the sun, and life rejuvenates itself. The ability is always there. That’s something we humans sometimes forget and it can take a lengthy pity party before we remember it again. Tenacity, endurance, finding our fuel in times of crisis is key to weathering our storms. The next time the winds of adversity threaten to toss you around, take it like a plant, and find that sunshine!
the Storm By Brenda Tadych
Brenda Tadych is a lifelong resident of Dauphin County, currently residing in Middletown. She can be contacted at sumthin2say@hotmail.com.
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k c a B g n i v Gi roes to the
w
e H y a d y r Eve Inspire You Who
When you think of public servants or people who do heroic jobs, do you picture police officers, firefighters and soldiers?
hile all those people selflessly serve the public, they’re not the only everyday heroes whose jobs contribute to the greater good. The field of public service is broad, encompassing teachers, health care workers, law enforcement professionals and social workers. Demand is high for caring, trained professionals to fill a growing number of jobs in public service fields. In fact, job opportunities are expected to grow 22 percent for social and human service assistants, 7 percent for firefighters, 6 percent for high school teachers and 5 percent for police officers and detectives, across the nation by 2022 according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Some of the professionals to fill those jobs will come directly from colleges where first-time students will pursue coursework designed to specifically prepare them for public service careers. Others will be career changers, like Arthur Chapel and Melissa Bowermaster, who entered public service after enduring personal challenges and were inspired by the caring help of other public servants. “I was in a bad place, and someone helped me,” says Arthur Chapel, who successfully completed substance-abuse treatment and then decided to change careers to become a counselor. “Now I give back by helping others who need it.
I have the satisfying career I always wanted and I get up every day eager to go to work because I know I’m helping people who need it.” “Working in law enforcement, I saw every day the caring of the human services people I came into contact with,” says Melissa Bowermaster, executive director of a child advocacy center. Her interaction with these professionals, especially those who worked with children, inspired her to return to school to pursue a human services degree. After graduating with a bachelor’s degree of science in human services, Bowermaster went to work advocating for children in need in her county. Chapel and Bowermaster aren’t alone in finding inspiration from the everyday heroism of public servants. Each day, these professionals have a positive effect on thousands of people across the country. Post a photo and story of your everyday hero - police officer, firefighter, EMS, early childhood teacher, social worker or other - using the tag #PublicServiceStars through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest or Google+, and then register at the #PublicServiceStars Wall of Heroes. As a thanks for submitting your story, you’ll have the chance to make a difference in the lives of others. Kaplan University will make a $500 donation to the favorite charitable cause of one lucky participant. Source: BPT
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For
SHOP YOUR
CLOSET HOLIDAY EDITION! ’Tis The Season...yes, it's that time of year again, but there's no need to stress about what to wear - look no further than your own closet! I challenge you to start with my quick checklist (and don't worry, I won't be checking who's naughty or nice!) Holiday shopping can stress an already tight budget, so here's a simple checklist to get you on your way to a fabulous and fun - and stress-free - holiday. You will be amazed how these three simple tasks will help not only your holiday wardrobe, but your everyday wardrobe as well! Good Luck!
Tip #1 Group your clothes by color. Organizing your closet by color is truly a blessing when it comes to quickly and easily coordinating outfits and you will find this same process can easily carry over into your everyday organizing as well. (Color organizing is the wardrobe equivalent to sorting your bills and junk mail onto separate piles.) I have been organizing closets and spaces this way for years and believe me, it works!
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Woman’s Stylist Lisa Rae DeRosa helps women just like you look good and feel good.
Lisa Says:
If you tried my simple tips, I would love to hear about it. Email me and let me know how it went! Hope to see you at my Holiday Style Seminars. Happy holidays, fashionistas!
Tip #2 Have one reliable go-to outfit. Pull together at least one outfit complete with shoes and accessories and keep it on standby. (Take a photo if you need to!) Knowing you have a flattering outfit to wear on a moment's notice will go a long way toward making this holiday season less stressful. If you love fashion, then this will be an easy task - you may have a hard time choosing just one! If you're not into fashion, it can be a challenge (just call me!) But seriously, everyone can pull together at least ONE outfit!
Tip #3 Be sure you have the basics. I say this time and time again: black pants, black dress, white button down top, and black and nude heels or flats will get you through almost every one of life's fashion challenges - and who doesn't already have these hanging in their closet? Variations on these few basic pieces can satisfy anyone's style and comfort level. When you're overwhelmed by all the demands of the season, just grab your LBD (little black dress) and rock the night away!
T
Lisa Rae DeRosa is a fashion consultant and stylist who specializes in wardrobing on a budget. Check out her website: www.lisaraederosa.com or Email: lisaraeseries@aol.com www.womannewspapers.com
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G M O is on
Facebook! /WomanNewspapers