Honoring Our AUTHORS Aja K. Ellington Alicia R. Acklin Alicia L. Littlejohn Alicia Rodman Allison T. Garrett Dr. Angee Valentine Angel Morgan Angelita Byrd Annette Jackson Dr. Ashley Valentine Dr. Aubria Nance Brenda Searcy
Jamie Newton-Knight Jamillah Smith Janell S. Foster, Juris Doctor Janella Dobbs, MS, LPC, NCC jSelene Hubbard Janett V. Blanchard Jeffonia P. Jones Jeri Johnson, M.S. Ed., M.S. Sch Psy. Dr. Jessica A. Spradley Jinnell Killingsworth Kamela T. Smith, M.Ed. Kathrine Henderson, LMSW
Britta Ofori-Kuragu, MSc Brunette Kirtdoll Smith Cameasha Muhammad, M.A. Candia Cumberbatch-Lucenius Dr. Carmesha Smith Carolyn Griffin Cassandra Hill Dr. Charlotte Brickhouse Charlotte Miller-Lacy C Wilkinson Davis Corinne M. Green Dalila Zachary Dana M. Harris Danita L. Mosley Darieth Chisolm
Keysha Bass Kiana Romeo, MBA Kimberly H. Smith Kurshay Whitaker Lakichay Nadira Muhammad Dr. Lashonda M. Jackson-Dean Latasha Taylor LaVerne Henderson Lisa Collins Lisa Michelle Flynn Lois T. Miller, M.A. Malaika Turner, Ph D. Malayah Rahman Malinda Bova Dr. Marcia F. Robinson
Darla M. Character-Johnson, Esq. Dawn M. Perry Dee Outler Deneen E. Mosley, M.Ed. Diane Renee Eli Thompson Elon Jeffcoat Emile Weatherspoon Essynce Moore Felicia Davis F. Renee Hamilton Frankie Roe Gwen Buchanan Heather D. Horton India Thomas-Johns Dr. Jacqueline Bingham Flemmings
Marcie Wilson Maria Josefina Fernandez Marilyn Pendelton, RN, M. Ed., LNC Dr. Marla Wormley Marquita L. Allen Mary Hazward Fernandez Meagan Ferrare Melanie Townsend, MA, MSW Melissa Johnson Hewitt Mia S. Bradford, MA Michaela R. Shaw Michelle A. Taylor Michelle Washington NaTasha Tierra Nathalie C. Lilavois, Ed.D. Nichole K. Sullivan
Nicole A. Johnson Nicole Pettiway Nicoli Rena Sinclair Nisa K. Williams, M.Ed. MBA Noreen N. Henry Nydia S. Wells-Evans Nykeia Maddrey Petra Sherbin-Fox Quanisha M. Green, MSS R.A. Leigh Hawkins Rachelle Byars-Sargent, M.A. PMC-III Rita Wells Gorder, M.A. Roberta Oluwaseun Roberts, Esq. Rochelle Peterson-Ansari Savannah Shepherd Shante R. Roddy Shirelle Diamond Hogans Stephanie Lewis Tai Abrams Tam Watkins Tanerra Willis Tanisha L. Scott Taryn Washington Tina C. Powers Tina Natasha Tonya L. Horn Dr. Torri Love Griffin, LPC Traci R. Green, MBA Trici Coleman Trina Vessels Tynetta T. Brown Veronica Lynn Clark Yolanda Rahman Dr. Zakia Y. Gates
AVAILABLE NOW
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Support this project by helping us donate books to organizations and groups that serve Black women and Girls. Send your donation to the United Way of Delaware by texting IUME to 41444 or visiting loveletterstomygirls.com/donate.
LOVE LETTERS TO MY GIRLS: WHY THIS BOOK IS NECESSARY Black Women. Black Girls. Black Bodies. The criticism we hear and see e-ve-ry day of our lives feels like an erasure and devaluing of our communities, our cultures, our selves– the things we identify with and love the most. We are ostracized and illegalized for the characteristics and traits with which we are born. It’s as if we were born a mistake. A sin. An aberration. Even an abomination. That is how we are made to feel. By those in authority. By those who have no authority. By those who have, and those who have not. By those who lack this beautiful melanin and those who have it but somehow, for some reason, see themselves as different–not really Black. We experience it from those who don’t know better. From those who do, but don’t care. From those who should know better. From teachers. From supervisors. From peers. From activists. From social justice institutions. We experience this. On our jobs. In our communities. In our denominations. In healthcare facilities. We experience this. At the grocery store. Walking down the street. Hailing a cab. Covertly. Overtly. We experience this. Through racism. Through bias. Through stereotyping. Through intolerance. Through exclusivity. In hiring. In firing. We. Experience. This.
Yet, this is not who we are. This is our experience. Little Black girls are sent home from school because their skirts, pants or dresses are too short or too tight because they may have thicker thighs or larger derrieres; their hair is seen as unkempt and not aligned with the dress code. Little Black girls are assaulted and raped because of their very existence; because the sway of their hips and the movement to their native instruments are interpreted as savage, animalistic, and hypersexual. Little Black girls are not viewed as children or granted the patience, kindness, and protection we extend to other children– those we see as children. Little Black girls are told their hair, bodies, and features are ugly, demonic, or animal-like. Images of beauty don't reflect what they see in a mirror, so they try to assimilate. Little Black girls grow up to be women who are overlooked for promotions and adequate compensation. Black Women are told they don't quite fit into the company culture. Black Women are identified as negating the feminist movement because they prioritize their racial/ethnic identity before their gender identity. Black Women can’t express an educated opinion or make a statement of truth or fact without being labeled “aggressive” or “angry.” Black Women can’t ask for what they deserve from organizations, institutions, or men, without being viewed as “ungrateful.” Black Women are hated because of their look, style and natural physical attributes, but those same attributes are loved on lighter, whiter skin–even when it’s unnatural and fake.
Originally published in Love Letters to My Girls: 100+ Black Women Speak to the Hearts of Black Women & Girls. © 2020. Reprinted with permission from Spoonfed Motivation Publications.
LOVE LETTERS TO MY GIRLS: WHY THIS BOOK IS NECESSARY (continued from previous page)
Black Women are not allowed to be women. Black Women are not allowed to BE. This is our experience. So yes, we need this book. WE BLACK WOMEN and GIRLS need this book. YOU, who are not Black women and girls, need this book. We Black Women and Girls need to know how valuable we are. How beautiful we are. How powerful we are. How intelligent we are. How brilliant we are. How loved we are. How lovable we are. How valid we are. How worthy we are. How strong we are. How resilient we are. How vulnerable we are. How necessary we are. How WE really ARE. It’s time WE, BLACK WOMEN and GIRLS, realize that. It’s time YOU–all of YOU, recognize the TRUTH. Written by Quanisha Green, MSS and Cherita Weatherspoon, Ed. D Originally published in Love Letters to My Girls: 100+ Black Women Speak to the Hearts of Black Women & Girls. © 2020. Reprinted with permission from Spoonfed Motivation Publications.
WOMENOFMORE.COM
Tai Abrams is the Founder & CEO of AdmissionSquad, Inc., a nonprofit education organization on a mission to get talented, underserved middle school students into top NYC high schools. Tai is an author, speaker, and innovative entrepreneur focused on building scalable and sustainable businesses.
Set a Goal, Establish a Budget, Strategize and Secure the Resources: What impact does your organization intend to have and what are all the costs and resources required to achieve the goal? Capture these costs in an operating budget with the goals and targets clearly written and get busy raising the funding to cover it. Have a strategy to carry out your mission. Work your plan and decide on the staff, board, volunteers, systems, technology, marketing, and other resources needed to bring your strategy to fruition. Multiple Streams of Income and Consistent Cash Flow: As an investor, it is always a top priority to diversify your portfolio. Likewise, when developing a nonprofit, you need to diversify your income sources. You should prioritize earned income (the sale of goods and services), individual donors, unrestricted foundation donations, grants, and government funding. Nonprofits require at least two streams of reliable, consistent, predictable income; and earned income should be one of them.
HOW TO BUILD A SUSTAINABLE NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION WRITTEN BY TAI ABRAMS
Nonprofits offer a viable way to impact your community, solve a problem, and leave a legacy. While nonprofit founders often lead with pure intentions and are typically passion driven, this alone will not support the longevity of the organization. “Begin with the end in mind.� Envision a large, successful company with staying power and then build backwards. This has fueled my journey toward building my nonprofit, AdmissionSquad, Inc., into a sustainable corporation. I implemented three steps to secure the bottom line:
Secure High Functioning Supporters: Choose carefully when selecting board members, advisors, and sponsors for your organization. This is something that will make or break your organization. These individuals need to be passionate about the mission, and they also need to have access to resources and be willing to tap into those resources on behalf of the organization. Board members have a fiduciary responsibility. They also have a responsibility to help the non-profit close any gaps that may prevent the organization from fulfilling their mission. Put together a powerpoint presentation detailing the problem you want to solve, your solution, and what is required to carry out the mission. Meet with at least 25 people to share your idea and get feedback. In-person meetings are best. Give before you take and assemble the best team possible. Executing these three steps is a surefire way to get your nonprofit on the path toward sustainability.
CONNECT WITH TAI ABRAMS @IAMTAIABRAMS
TAIABRAMS
LOVING ME FIRST
For several years, I have been on a God-inspired journey that has transformed my life. I want to share part of it with you in case it can help you to live a more harmonious lifestyle of self-care. God gives us two commands: Love God and love people. At our very core, as women, we want to love and be loved. However, we can’t love others well unless we love ourselves well. Many of us claim to love ourselves, but it isn’t reflected in how we treat our mind, body and soul on a daily basis. As one year was coming to a close and others were looking forward to the new year, I found myself in a depression. I was feeding my mind negative self-talk. I was in constant physical pain. I was tired, I lacked energy, and I wasn’t on top of my game. I also had some emotional issues around rejection and abandonment that I needed to deal with. The funny thing is that on the outside it appeared that I had it all together– the car, the promotions, the business. But on the inside, I was falling apart and I was experiencing physical issues because I hadn’t taken care of my emotional issues.
LOVING
ME FIRST WRITTEN BY MIA S. BRADFORD
BeyondtheBusyness ----------
Not only was my mind and my body not right, I also began to move away from the strong money habits I had developed, which led to me accumulating debt. Believe it or not, money habits are not just about dollars and cents; they are an outward manifestation of inner “stuff,” whether that stuff is good or bad. In the midst of this experience, I was led to create Beyond the Busyness; and that is how my journey began. Beyond the Busyness held me accountable to the lifestyle I wanted to live and model for others. My life's work is to empower high achieving women to give themselves permission to release the guilt of taking time for themselves. My mission is to create a new definition of self-care that is holistic in nature; focusing on emotional, physical and financial wellbeing. After working with me, women have a financial plan in place, are able to practice guiltfree self-care daily, and are working towards wholeness in all areas of their lives.. Including financial well-being as part of your self-care is a unique but necessary paradigm shift for women to make. To be whole and well we must approach wellness from an integrative standpoint. It's not just mental, just physical or just financial. We must address the whole person.
Beyond the Busyness exists to help you examine your relationship to yourself, make and maintain any shifts you need to make, and develop a healthy relationship with your money, your mind, and your body. I host online events on aromatherapy, yoga, alternative methods of health and wellness, and building a strong financial foundation. I am an aerial yoga instructor and licensed financial professional. My ultimate passion is to educate, empower and inspire others to actions that allow them to meet their goals and dreams.
IN CREATIVE PURSUIT OF PURPOSE
WRITTEN BY NICOLE SULLIVAN AND NATASHA BROWN
Nichole Sullivan and NaTasha Brown are quintessential women of MORE. This mother daughter pair share a story of overcoming odds and walking by faith. As a young girl of 13 years, Nichole found herself pregnant and scared. But with the support of her mother and family, Nichole was able to pursue her education and career goals. After a successful career of twenty years in the financial services industry, and with much grace and favor, and the unwavering support of her husband and family, Nichole left corporate America to start her own business. Her journey led to training in woodworking and digital fabrication. Her mission is two-fold: to create the extraordinary from the ordinary and to inspire creativity and confidence in women. This mission led to the founding of Keppel & Kismet, LLC. The name reflects Nichole’s favorite color (Keppel) and her fortuitous journey to entrepreneurship (Kismet). Nichole connects with local women and people of color to showcase their hand made products or original designs. Prior to the season of COVID-19, Nichole operated a creative workshop and boutique in which she taught wood sign painting workshops and invited local artists and makers to teach their craft. Today, Keppel & Kismet, LLC is a growing business producing wholesale, retail, and custom wood signs and small gifts on Etsy and at keppelandkismet.com. As a young girl, NaTasha didn’t realize she was the daughter of a teen mom. She was just, “mom.” NaTasha could often be found on campus during her mother’s college years. Later, she watched her grow in her career.
NaTasha has a passion for young people and entrepreneurship. That passion led her to attain a degree in sociology and a career pursuing restorative justice and wholeness for youth in the juvenile justice system. Fueled by her passion to reach young people at an earlier stage, NaTasha became an elementary school teacher. Her entrepreneurial spirit led her to establish a hair braiding business. Having been the go-to braider in high school and college, NaTasha leveraged that skill and, in 2019, founded BraidHer, a mobile braiding service. Her primary customers are parents who need the convenience of having their child/ren’s hair braided at home. With an understanding that hair is connected to selfesteem, she offers free braiding to communities who have the need. Her appointments provide a way to mentor and inspire her clients toward greatness, seeing themselves as God sees them. Together, they walk by faith, living out their purpose. Nichole and NaTasha share a belief that we’ve all been called to something. They will tell you, “Do what you’ve been called to do and you will be equipped to do it. Don’t wait until you’re ready. Trust God and go!”
Nichole NaTasha
WHAT IS YOUR MISSION? As a blended family and coparenting coach, my mission is to dispel the myth that Black people are unable to co-parent without drama. WHO DO YOU SERVE? I serve moms in blended and coparenting relationships, helping them take charge of their lives by redefining motherhood on their own empowering terms, balance their families, and co-parent with ease. WHAT IS THE GREATEST LESSON YOUR CO-PARENTING RELATIONSHIP TAUGHT YOU? I learned that I had to experience healing for us to have a fairly decent and civil relationship. I had to take control of my healing, for both myself and my children. I felt like I needed an apology to be able to heal, but I couldn’t wait for or expect my ex to be a part of my healing process. If I waited for the person that hurt me to help heal me, I would still be a hurt and wounded person and my children would suffer because of it.
HOW DID YOU GET TO A PLACE OF BEING READY AND ABLE TO HEAL AND MOVE FORWARD? I prayed a lot! I asked God to take me through the steps of healing and he directed me to a therapist. I sought therapy, I journaled, and I read to get through that difficult time in my life. WHAT BOOK DID YOU READ THAT HELPED MOST? The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, changed my life. It is a book that I refer to often and have also read more than once. HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT HELPING MOMS CO-PARENT COOPERATIVELY WAS WHAT YOU WERE CALLED TO DO? It was difficult dealing with my son’s father and the woman he cheated on me with after a 6 ½ year relationship and three months before our wedding. However, for the sake of my children and their happiness, I was willing to put my feelings and pride aside (for the most part) and learn to co-parent. When people saw how I handled different situations regarding my son’s father, I became the “go-to” for many family members and friends. WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE A MOM WHO IS LEARNING TO CO-PARENT?
COCO BLEND
AN INTERVIEW WITH JAMIE NEWTON-KNIGHT FOUNDER OF COCO BLEND “Everyone had their opinions of what our situation was ‘supposed’ to look like, but we created a relationship that made others rethink what a blended/coparenting relationship ‘could’ look like!” Jamie Newton-Knight
Keynote Speaking Topics: The “Good Mom” Redefined Even though this moment seems like a Healing Our Families big deal right now, it is only a moment–a The BLEND Roadmap snapshot of time in your life. It gets Keeping Your Family Afloat Amidst the Chaos better and easier. We were in a really bad place when we first started this journey, but now we have a much better TheCoCoBlend relationship and my “co-mama” and I are great friends.
We are living in the most unprecedented times ever and in a season of discovering what we are really made of. What are you choosing to do in these difficult times? Are you looking at all of the turmoil and crisis going on in the world? Are you giving attention to all of the negative communications? What are you making room for? Now is the time to rejoice like never before! Lift up your voice and turn your hearts to the Living God! Joy in your God again! Sing aloud and praise the one who has kept you; loving you through the storms! In His presence is the fullness of joy; joy at its greatest measure to strengthen you.
rejoice
God loves you, His hand is upon you. He is giving you beauty for your ashes and the oil of joy for sorrow. Throw off those grave clothes, sisters! He is giving you the garment of praise for that heavy spirit! Get dressed in praise and celebrate your God because He is giving you a day brand new to see His beauty in everything! Hallelujah!
He is giving you a new song to sing, a song of deliverance to dispel your fear, a song of freedom to help you stand! Shout unto God with a voice of triumph, lift up your voice in praise. As you sing to Him, joy comes and your freedom rises! You are breaking forth! He wants you strong so come on and rejoice! Clap your hands! Sing the new song! Lift up your hands and bless His holy name! Dance and joy in the God of your salvation.This battle belongs to the Lord! Maintain your praise and posture yourself to receive, for here comes your victory! See what the Lord is doing for you! He is making all things new for you! Hallelujah! He is singing over you and kissing you every morning with His goodness and mercy. Your freedom and deliverance are in the songs you sing and in the words you prophesy. Everything is changing and nothing in your life will be the same. His glory is shining brightly upon you! See the beauty He brings to you each day! Arise; receive your new journey, your new life of joy! Keep rejoicing sisters! God bless you!
WRITTEN BY jSELENE THORNTON-HUBBARD
jSelene Thornton-Hubbard, beloved daughter of the most high God, was given Beauty for Ashes and has an anointing from the Holy Spirit to preach the message of Good News, minister worship to release healing, freedom and joy, to do the ministry of Jesus that God be glorified! For more insight about the Beauty for Ashes Ministry CONNECT WITH Selene: Mymiraclelife46@gmail.com
Cherita
DR. WEATHERSPOON
INSPIRING, UPLIFTING, MOTIVATING AND EMPOWERING
The Making of Love Letters to My Girls An Interview with Dr. Cherita Weatherspoon CoachCherita TELL ME ABOUT THE LOVE LETTERS TO MY GIRLS ANTHOLOGY. Love Letters to My Girls brings together over 100 powerhouse Black women who share words that will inspire, motivate, uplift, and empower Black women and girls.The authors write from their own experiences and observations and share about their failures and successes, their challenges and strategies for overcoming, lessons learned and wisdom gained. The book is like having a coach, mentor, or even a big sister on call for you when you need someone to remind you of who you are. PHOTOGHAPER: JAMES C. DANIELS III
OWNER OF, DON'T JUDGE ME PRODUCTIONS DR. CHERITA WEATHERSPOON COVER PICTURE AND SPREAD
WHERE DID THE IDEA FOR THE BOOK COME FROM? When my daughter, Emile, who is now 23, was about eight years old, I wanted to write letters to her that would help her on her journey through this world as a Black woman and compile them in a book. Well, life happened and I never got to write that book, but God brought the idea back to me last year and gave me a vision for it that was beyond what I originally imagined. I recognized that there are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of Black women and girls who need this kind of inspiration. I also recognized that my story and my experience was just one and that what I had to share would not touch as many people as I wanted it to. I thought it was important to have diverse voices and experiences of Black women represented in the book so we could speak to a more diverse audience of Black women. WERE YOU ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH THE DIVERSITY OF AUTHORS YOU DESIRED? Yes! Of course, it could have been more diverse and if we had more time to find the authors it would have been; but I am pleased with the group of women we’ve assembled. Some are mothers, some are not. Some are career women, while others are entrepreneurs, college students, or stay at home moms. They are from all over the U.S. and a few are from or are located in other countries. They range from pre-teen to almost 80 years of age. They have a variety of religious beliefs, are from different socioeconomic backgrounds, and have different levels of education, and more. WHO IS LOVE LETTERS TO MY GIRLS FOR? It’s for all of my sisters! Whether you are 16 years old and trying to figure out who you are and what you want, or you’re 35 and recovering from some difficult experiences that almost broke you, or your 65 and rediscovering who you are in your second act, this book is for you. Most importantly, it’s for the Black woman who has learned that the world doesn’t see her for who she really is and who needs to be reminded of her power and have her value and brilliance acknowledged. I’VE HEARD YOU SAY THAT THIS PROJECT IS MORE THAN A BOOK, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? It means a few things. First, we have the book and of course we want to sell the book, but more than that, we want to get the book into the hands of as many Black women and girls who need it. We’ve partnered with the United Way of Delaware to accept donations that will support book donations to organizations and groups that serve Black women and girls.
Second, Love Letters to My Girls is the first initiative under the IUME Words project whose goal is to inspire, uplift, motivate and empower Black and Brown communities through the power of words. Those words may be in print or spoken, delivered through audio or video, live or recorded. Each of these initiatives have a community giveback component. For Love Letters to My Girls, it’s the book donations and two scholarships. Third, we want this to be a movement that incites a revolution of sisterhood among Black women and girls. We believe in the value of relationships and in the power we have as a collective to change our communities and the world. And, finally, we see this book as a contribution to the legacy of Black women and to the legacies of each individual author. We want this book to be gifted to young Black women at certain milestones in their lives and to our more mature sisters when they are facing a life challenge or have overcome something in their lives. We want this to be an heirloom piece that mothers pass down to their daughters. We want the words on these pages to make a life-changing impact on its readers. I LOVE THE COVER OF THE BOOK. DID THE IMAGERY HAVE ANY SPECIAL MEANING TO YOU? Yes! When I saw the original image, it immediately spoke these words to me: transparency, vulnerability, brilliance, majesty, strength, beauty, and boldness. Transparency: Our authors are transparent in their writings and sometimes we feel transparent, as if the world doesn’t see us.
Vulnerability: As a community of sisters, we have to be vulnerable to get our needs met, and yet we are a group that is more vulnerable and susceptible to inequality and emotional and physical harm. Brilliance: We are so powerful, so capable, and able to adapt; yet we are overlooked, underpaid, and undervalued. Majesty: We come from royalty. Strength: We are strong, but far too often that strength works to our disadvantage. Beauty: we are beautiful because of our differences, whether that is our spectrum of skin tones, the shape of our bodies, the fullness of our lips, or the kinks and curls in our hair. Our beauty is vast and deep and yet we are made to feel less than or ugly while we watch “others” hijack our looks and styles and be applauded for it. Boldness: It is in our ability to be bold that we can change the narrative, change our trajectory as individuals and as a people, and change the world. Now, I’m not sure that the artist had all of that in mind when they created it, but that is what that image spoke to me when I saw her. WHAT IS THE ONE MESSAGE THAT YOU WANT THE READERS OF LOVE LETTERS TO MY GIRLS TO GET FROM THE BOOK? Wow! Only one? If I had to boil it down to one message, it would be that you are worth it and you are worthy. You are worth fighting for. You are worth getting up and trying again. You are worth the sacrifice. You are worth the work. You are worth loving and you are worthy of love. You are worth living and you are worthy of a meaningful and abundant life. Whatever it is you want to experience in this life, you are worth what it will take to get it and you are worthy of having it. No matter what the statistics say, you are worth it and you are worthy. No matter what the media says, you are worth it and you are worthy. No matter what the racists say, you are worth it and you are worthy. No matter what the politicians say, you are worth it and you are worthy. No matter what the haters may say, you are worth it and you are worthy. No matter what your family may say, you are worth it and you are worthy. Once you recognize your worth and your worthiness… it’s on!
GRATEFUL, THANKFUL, AND BLESSED
Yolanda and Malayah Rahman Grateful, Thankful, and Blessed. These words personify Yolanda and Malayah Rahman's outlook on life. This is a true testament to the bright light that exudes from their spirits even during these uncertain and challenging times. This mother and daughter duo have experienced many ups and downs, including Yolanda's cancer diagnosis and learning to navigate life through this current pandemic.
Through it all, they remain grateful to God, optimistic about their future, focused on nurturing their love for each other, and inspiring others. This is why they decided to participate in the Love Letters to My Girls Anthology . "I was nervous, at first, to participate in this project but I knew that this would be an experience that my daughter, Malayah, and I would cherish for the rest of our lives. I also wanted to use our voices to give hope to others, especially women and young girls,” expressed Yolanda. Malayah shared, “Last year, I told my mom that I wanted to be a published author. This project was the perfect opportunity for me to pursue this dream and do something to inspire others. I wanted to write about feeling beautiful because I want girls my age to know that they are beautiful no matter what.”
When asked what she is grateful for, Malayah said, “I am so grateful for my family, thankful for my parents who take such good care of me, and I feel so blessed to be able to do fun things like making up dance routines with my friends and riding my bike. I also enjoy acting, singing, and writing songs and stories.” Like her daughter, Yolanda is filled with gratitude. “I am grateful to God. I am thankful for my beautiful daughter, my loving husband and supportive family, and friends. I pray that I am a blessing to others. I've heard time and time again that God uses our tragedies and tests as testimonies. It hasn't been easy living with a cancer diagnosis. I still have moments when I cry and feel scared. Yet, I am believing in God for my healing miracle; and in the meantime, I am going to be a light to myself, my daughter, and in this world. I want my daughter to be proud of me and to know that no matter what, God loves her and she should always let her light shine for herself and as an inspiration to others.”
One of my favorite songs of all time is Whitney Houston’s “The Greatest Love of All” and the opening line “I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way,” gives me goosebumps. I also find the words: “I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs; a lonely place to be…,” particularly gripping. As a woman with a challenging childhood and lots of unmet needs and associated trauma, these words resonate with me. I was in my mid-thirties and my son had just turned three, when I embarked on a journey of introspection to figure out what motherhood meant to me and how to meet his needs. That was when I put all the pieces of the puzzle of my life together and realized how my childhood experiences were connected to every part of my life, including the way I parent. It was a huge wake-up call for me. I have subsequently found that many women experience this.
THE POWER OF PURPOSEFUL PARENTING
We are presented with two choices: to parent in a way that perpetuates the harmful patterns from our childhood or to evolve and parent in a way that meets our children’s needs. When I had my epiphany, I chose the latter; and that’s how I discovered Conscious Parenting. This parenting approach focuses on raising “whole” children and honoring their uniqueness and individuality. This is achieved by becoming self-aware, being mindful of our words, behaviors and actions towards our children, knowing our triggers, taking control of our own emotions, and shedding the baggage accumulated during childhood that are unwittingly being dumped on our children.
WRITTEN BY BRITTA OFORI-KURAGU
BRITTA IS A PURPOSEFUL PARENTING COACH, DAUGHTER OF AFRICA, AGENT OF CHANGE & HUMANITARIAN. CONNECT WITH HER AT WWW.PURPOSEFULPARENTINGPARADIGM.COM AND ON FB AT THE-PURPOSEFUL-PARENTING-PARADIGM.
We are each born with unique and special gifts and talents and we develop our own unique interests, which form our true essence. Depending on the environment we’re born into, our true essence is either honored or disregarded. It is only when we parent our children consciously and purposefully, that we honor their true essence. Rooted in Conscious Parenting, I coined the term “Purposeful Parenting Paradigm” to depict the parenting approach of consciously developing our children’s entrepreneurial capabilities, so that they can leverage their unique gifts and interests in a way that honors their authenticity and serves others. It is this approach that has enabled me to help my 7-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter build little enterprises around their unique interests.
I’m sure we all agree that children are our future. I, therefore, believe that no matter our past pain and struggles, the onus is on us to turn our wounds into wisdom and our pain into purpose to raise them in a way that they would not need to recover from their childhood. To be able to raise our children and fulfil their needs, while empowering them to develop self-belief, leverage their unique gifts and interests through building enterprises that help them live freely and authentically in service to others—now, that is sacred work! My mission is to support and empower mothers on this journey! Flaws and all, we are enough, and we can purposefully position our children for a life of endless opportunities and limitless possibilities.
Women Who Launch & Lead is the podcast for women ready to change the world, by women who are changing the world. Empower yourself to make your business and career dreams a reality by joining top women entrepreneurs and leaders that are making a difference each day. Led by renowned business accelerator, profit strategist, publisher and speaker, Dr. Cherita Weatherspoon, the podcast covers a wide range of topics designed to inform, illuminate and inspire your entrepreneurial and leadership spirit.
FEATURING BLACK WOMEN ENTREPRENEURS AND LEADERS
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Learn. Launch. Lead. Listen to the podcast now. Listen on Apple, Spotify, Google, Stitcher or at www.WomenWhoLuanchandLead.com. NOMADIC
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NISA
WILLIAMS M.ED. MBA
DR.
MALAIKA TURNER @LETSTALKPIVOT
HOST OF PIVOT PODCAST
PIVOT IS A PODCAST FOR WOMEN WHO’VE MADE INTENTIONAL OR UNEXPECTED CHANGES AND ARE STILL WINNING!
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