Editor-in-Chief Michelle Washington
Senior Editor Illustrator Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer
Dr. Cherita Weatherspoon Michelle Washington Darieth Chisolm Shaundyll Rogers Vanessa Lindley Rainbow Huff Indiana Tuggle Carleen Elisa Tanerra Willis Tynetta Brown Heather Wilkins Dr. Torri Love Griffin Dr. Malaika Turner P'Alex Dillon Sharon Wilson Siobhan Kimberly
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Women Who Launch & Lead is the podcast for women ready to change the world, by women who are changing the world.Empower yourself to make your business and career dreams a reality by joining top women entrepreneurs and leaders that are making a difference each day.Led by renowned business accelerator, profit strategist, publisher and speaker, Dr. Cherita Weatherspoon, the podcast covers a wide range of topics designed to inform, illuminate and inspire your entrepreneurial and leadership spirit. Learn. Launch. Lead. Listen to the podcast now.
@COACHCHERITA
WORDS FROM THE EDITOR IN CHIEF
MICHELLE WASHINGTON
How is it possible to be fearful of something that is good for us? Something we desire, something we dreamed of, something we work hard towards, something that's waiting for us.
I believe the remedy for this myth is to deal with whatever or whoever made us feel less than, not qualified, like an underachiever, and not equipped to accomplish anything. Once we deal with what was once affecting us, it has no choice but to die out of your mental, emotional, and physical system.
This statement has to be a myth. It lacks logical truth.
See, the choice of fear or faith has always been something we controlled. And either choice will always bring us the results that's connected to it. So, I challenge you where ever you are in this season of your life, to move beyond the experience that stole your faith and replaced it with fear. You have to decide to live in the past or live in the present for a better future.
Could it be that our fear comes from a place of what someone said to us or placed in us at an early age? Because fear isn't something we plan for, but something we have experienced.
And as always, There's MORE to YOU! Fear is a thought that we took on as a belief.
KRISTAL COURAGEOUS. DETERMINED. AUTHENTIC.
“We can’t do anything about the past but we sure can do something about the future”~ Kristal Clark
I AM NOT AFRAID TO SAY
yes to my victory! @KRISTALKLEAR @ROCKPAPERSCISSORSFOUNDATION
I AM KRISTAL KLEAR
WWW.ROCKPAPERSCISSORSFOUNDATION.ORG
Kristal is necessary and required on the frontline for women. She stands with and for women regardless of their story. Her voice is being streamed and shared around the world. She is Kristal Klear on what her assignment is and she is fully committed and persuaded to allow God to finish what He started in her. She is a Woman of MORE.
WHEN DID YOU FIND YOUR MORE? I found my MORE the moment I allowed myself to heal and forgive after experiencing rape, molestation and emotional trauma. WHAT ARE YOU NOT AFRAID TO SAY ‘YES’ TO AND WHY? I’m not afraid to say yes to my victory. I was broken and thought I could never recover. I allowed fear, rejection and abandonment to control me. Now I know that I am more than a conqueror! TELL US ABOUT YOUR ORGANIZATION I get to be the founder of a national nonprofit called Rock Paper Scissors Foundation. Rock, no matter what you throw at me; paper, no matter how you crumble me; scissors, no matter how you cut me; I am an overcomer. We give a voice to those who have been silenced by any form of sexual or emotional abuse, and provide human trafficking awareness and prevention. I get to be the key to someone finding their voice and freedom.
I AM
WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR BUSINESS MODEL AND WHY? My business model has been to go for it! Now is the time. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable, but don’t allow yourself to miss the opportunity to be more. WHAT DO YOU WANT OUR READERS TO KNOW? I’m a faithful servant and believer in Jesus Christ who has struggled with sexual brokenness, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, domestic violence, low self-esteem, anger, resentment, insecurities, fear of abandonment, PTSD , depression that led to suicidal thoughts/attempts, childhood sexual abuse, codependency, trust issues, miscarriages, betrayal, and recently, divorce. I decided not to allow my past to rob my future. You have to believe that healing is possible and that you can walk in abundance and wholeness. Sis, it’s okay to forgive yourself for accepting less than you deserved. Forgive yourself for not seeing your value and worth, forgive yourself for walking in shame, insecurity, resentment, anger and bitterness. No matter what... DON’T QUIT!
A NEW NOR MAL WRITTEN BY CARLEEN ELISA
Life is full of day-to-day routines – activities and practices we consider to be the norm. As children, we go to school and are encouraged to head to college, trade school or possibly the military to plan for a career, get married, start a family, and establish a life that may or may not fulfill our dreams. It becomes our normal – the way we expect things to be. Good, bad or indifferent, our society revolves around these norms. We watch our parents, loved ones, colleagues, and friends go through the motions and set our lives and expectations to these pre-established ideals. For many of us, they work, and we find contentment within them and define our success by how well we attain each. For others, these ideals leave us longing for more, and we either embark upon a journey to live outside the boundaries of normality, or we watch with envy those who are bold enough to do so on their own terms. What do you do, however, when life throws a curveball, and the norms you’ve relied upon are shattered? It could be the death of a loved one, unexpected job loss, a natural disaster, or an experience that challenges everything you thought you knew about how things are supposed to be. Interestingly enough, while we plan for the best, we often fail to prepare for the inevitable interruptions that are a part of how life unfolds. Those interruptions leave us feeling out of sorts and wondering how to adapt and find our way back to normal.
Recently, the COVID-19 global pandemic threw the entire world into a tailspin. Thousands of lives were lost, and the virus threatened to impact our health, led to social distancing and forced the closure of schools and businesses. Sporting events and social gatherings were postponed, and our normal day-to-day lives came to a screeching halt. Additionally, millions of people lost their jobs, and no one could say how we will move forward. The unprecedented impact of the virus dealt everyone a blow, and now we must recover. So, what do you do when things change, and you must embrace a new normal? First, accept that things are different. Change of any kind can cause anxiety and stress, but the sooner you accept it, the sooner you can move ahead. Second, form new habits. Habits anchor us and lock us into new practices, which can set us on a path to create new success. Studies show that a hidden benefit of crisis or change is it allows us to use habits to achieve by embracing new ways to do things better as noted by Gary Palokovic, Manager of Research Communications at USC University Communications. Finally, make room for the new. Best-selling author, Jack Canfield, says change presents us with opportunities to “learn new things, master new skills, and develop new qualities like flexibility, optimism, courage, and persistence,” and those new things set us on a course for a new normal.
JOIN THE CONVERSATION WITH CARLEEN ON HER SOCIAL PLATFORMS
GOOD LIFE!
LIVING THE
WRITTEN BY DR. TORRI LOVE GRIFFIN, LPC
@DRTORRILOVE
What makes life good? Life is more than just being alive. Yes, it starts there, but it’s what you do with life that makes it good… not like a box of chocolates or even a hand of cards you’re dealt. I prefer to live life by these seven principles. Life—good life —is what you make it…
I have one life. That one life intersects with other lives, but it is primarily my own. It is my responsibility to manage and maintain my life and create the atmosphere that will lead to a fulfilling experience. The life I live has a specific, detailed, definable purpose. I live life to accomplish a goal that somehow impacts the community, the environment, and/or the world. It is my responsibility and opportunity to identify, pursue and accomplish my purpose. I matter. The life I live is expressed in a variety of ways and has many facets. I encounter the world physically, emotionally, spiritually, professionally, personally, socially, financially and more. Each facet of my life expresses something about me. The life I live has impact. As I interact with others in various situations, my words and actions leave an indelible mark on whomever I meet. That mark is positive, neutral or negative. When I live deliberately, I leave my mark, intentionally, everywhere I go. The course of my life can be changed in an instant. Though I may be on a specific path in life, a series of consistent choices, a single catastrophic event or one hasty decision can change the direction and/or quality of my life as much as 180º. When I am aware of how precious life is, I can value every day and appreciate every moment. The life I live is guided by themes I acquired from family members, home life, community involvement and society-at-large. These themes, once identified, can be adjusted and changed at my will. I exercise my opportunity to choose.
The life I live has begun but will at some point end. Without knowing when its end will be, I can only utilize the time I have right now to accomplish my goals. I can plan for tomorrow, but I can only act today. These principles free me to make conscious and deliberate decisions about how I choose to experience each day I am given. They do not imply that EVERYTHING I want happens, but they do free me to consider each action I take. This life is my own and I choose to do the very best I can to live it well.
NIKEA MARIE FAVORED. FEARLESS. UNSTOPPABLE.
When you think of relevant and necessary to the sound of today you should instantly think of Nikea Marie. The sound and message she projects will make you believe. Her latest release, 'I Believe In Me' is reaching great heights and platforms around the world. We asked her some questions we believe will help you understand why we deem her as a Woman of MORE.
PHOTO CREDIT: @ALMIGHTY_INGY MAKEUP BY: @NIKKISTYLEZZZ STYLED BY: @STEPHH.NICOLE HAIR BY: @THENECESSARYHAIR COLORED BY: @SLAYEDBYTEMPB INSTALLED BY: @TURKOIZUNIKORNZ
@NIKEAMARIE @NIKEAMARIE313
WHEN DID YOU FIND YOUR MORE? AND HOW ARE YOU USING IT? I found my MORE after the passing of my mother. I realized I had more strength than I thought. My mom was my biggest supporter. She was my manager, and she always believed in me. When she passed away, I felt like I died along with her. I felt my dreams were dead; and so was my life. One day, I was downstairs, and I was crying out to God about the passing of my mom, and I literally felt a peace that surpassed my understanding. I felt a surge of strength, and I knew there was more inside of me. I begin to write a book, write music, and mentor women. That night when I felt that I died, so much more of me came alive. Everything I do is to continue her legacy and to make God and her proud. YOUR VOCALS ARE POWERFUL AND CAPTIVATING. WHAT DO YOU WANT LISTENERS TO TAKE FROM YOUR MUSIC? I want every listener to know that they can do whatever they believe. I want them to feel inspired and empowered. When you finish listening to a song, I want it to be louder than the noise of the people who told you that you can't! I want people to feel good, but most importantly to feel God. WHAT CHALLENGES HAVE YOU OVERCOME AND HOW DID YOU OVERCOME THEM?
The challenge of loss is real! I lost my brother, grandfather, mother, two babies, a record deal, money, and I almost lost my mind! I went to a place, mentally, that I never want to go to again. But with every loss, there was a gain. I had to give God my heart and ask Him to heal the parts of me that were broken. I also had to talk to a therapist, and to some people in faith who prayed me through. I wanted to stay in my dark place, all by myself, but they wouldn't let me. I had to realize that these things weren’t here to break me, but to build me up! I listened to this song called “Thy Will” and the lyrics said, “I know you're good, but this don't feel good right now. I know you think of things I could never think about. Sometimes I gotta stop, remember that you're God, and I am not! Thy will be done!” I am not God, and I may never understand why things happen, but I do know that He is still good! I am a witness to let you know that on the other side of grief, there is glory! On the other side of pain, there is peace! Yes, it hurts, and yes, it is ok to cry. Though you may weep through the night in the morning there is joy! WHAT ARE YOU NOT AFRAID TO SAY YES TO AND WHY?
I am not afraid to say yes to God's will! I trust Him. I used to be fearful of saying yes to God. I felt that I had to be in control, and thought He would just obey my commands. Like, give me this man; and like a genie, your wish is my command! It doesn't work like that. His ways are higher than mine, and He sees what I can't. When you surrender to His will, I am telling you, life gets better. And I got the man of my dreams! I’ve been married for 10 years now. Say yes to Him, and He won't fail you!
WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR MESSAGE DURING THE PANDEMIC? The word God gave me was RESET. It is time to reset some things in my life. God said “What is coming for you, can't come in an overloaded space. You want peace, but worry has taken over. You want joy, but sadness is overloading your space. I can't download new software if my storage is full.” I have to delete, remove, renew, and reset! I had to clear out the old, so there can be room for the new – the old mindset and the old ways of doing things. RESET! WHAT IS NEXT FOR YOU? I have an organization called PRETTY Girls Wait. PRETTY means Pure Righteous Eternally True To You! It is a place for women of all ages to be a part of a movement where we stand with you in your decision to wait; in your decision to be pure in heart, mind, soul, and spirit. Not just sexually, but mentally, and spiritually. I’ve done several conferences and I am planning to do more soon. I have just started my hair business called The Necessary Hair. Good hair is a necessity! I sell bundles, wigs, hair; whatever you need, I got you, sis! I am also working on completing my EP! I am so excited to put new music out. I also have a YouTube show called Thee S.T.D (Sister Table Discussions). We’re a group of women talking about God and life! We stay positive and we have transparent conversations about real life. At the end of each episode, I give an S.T.D prescription, and that's always the word of God. Check it out! WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO INSPIRE WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD? I want all women to know your value and your worth. It is so easy to be a cubic zirconium. They are easy to access and you can find them everywhere. But rubies... baby! A ruby is unique and it is set apart from the others. Proverbs 31:10 (KJV) says, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies!” God says you are worth even more than rubies! When you know your worth, you won't settle for anything worthless! My name is Nikea Marie, and I approve this message!
I BELIEVE IN ME
AVAILABLE NOW
Matters
YOUR VOICE WRITTEN BY DR. CHERITA WEATHERSPOON @COACHCHERITA
JOIN THE CONVERSATION WITH DR. CHERITA ON HER SOCIAL PLATFORMS
PHOTO CREDIT. JAMES C. DANIELS, III DON'T JUDGE ME PRODUCTIONS
There’s a message burning inside of you. It’s pushing its way out. But you keep quieting it, refusing to let it go – refusing to use your voice, refusing to speak those words. Those words are words that will clarify, amplify, edify, magnify, even stupefy. Those are words that will bring life, erase shame, defeat fear, give courage, cause a smile, elicit laughs, equip, empower, educate and inform. Those words are your words. They matter. You matter. Your message matters. Whether you are speaking or writing from your area of expertise or your lived experience, the knowledge and wisdom that reside within you can be the one thing someone needs to move their life, career or business to the next level. Stop thinking that your message doesn’t matter. Stop believing that everything that needs to be said has been said. Has it been said by you? You are the differentiating factor. You are the ME in the message that makes it unique. Sis, someone is looking for you. People are waiting to hear what you have to say – to read the words you write. They may not receive what they need from anyone else. You were the one called to speak into their lives. You are the one who will walk them through their breakthrough, their breakup, their level up, or their takeoff. You!
Your message matters. You will not experience the fulfillment you desire until you give in to the calling to share your words. It doesn’t matter that you are afraid. It doesn’t matter that you don’t write well or speak well. It doesn’t matter that you don’t have the credentials. It doesn’t matter that you don’t look the part. You have the most important thing you need… you. You are fully equipped with everything you need to move forward and have the impact you were created to have in this world. You don’t have to know the “how-to” I can help you with that. As long as you’ve got the “what” and the “why” we can make this thing – your thing, work. And if you're wondering about the “when”… now is the time. Your message is needed now.
“Stop thinking that your message doesn't matter.” If you’d like help taking your message to the masses in the marketplace, schedule a strategy call with me today. Visit www.CoachMeDrC.com to schedule your call. We’ll determine the best way to package your message and identify the next step for you to take.
We were all created with a light within us. Our lights are intended to shine bright and impact our worlds with the unique gifts and energies we own. Our lights don’t always shine bright though. We often feel overwhelmed with life and it’s because we’ve allowed others to project their fears, needs and sometimes their responsibilities onto us. We take from others what they choose not to carry and then wonder how our loads got so heavy. Our lights get dimmer with each item we add. We need boundaries to protect our light. Boundaries are critical to your light’s ability to shine bright. They let others know that you’ve learned some lessons through prior experiences and refuse to ignore red flags that show up at this point in your life. Boundaries acknowledge the huge investment you’ve made in your journey and announce to others that you will not experience a loss in personal growth for their personal gain. They are significant because they tear down the menacing voice of unworthiness that screams you’re too picky or you want too much. Boundaries protect you from allowing others to take so much of you that you have nothing left to give. They’re essentially the quiet reminders that confirm loving, respecting and prioritizing yourself are key components of a fruitful life.
The spirit of fear will tell you that boundaries are too harsh and will cause people to run away from you. Lingering insecurities will whisper that you don’t have a right to say no to those you love or to the job you’ve been so fortunate to have landed. The little girl inside of you will beg for you to people please and put others first so that you don’t experience rejection, yet again. We often forget that perceived rejection is really God’s intentional redirection. But, remember your light! Your light will confirm that who and what God has for you was predestined and can’t be scared off by healthy boundaries. It will remind you that you are deserving of mutually beneficial relationships that replenish what you pour out. That light will speak to the little girl within and reiterate that she will never have to chase people or things because anything or anyone attached to her destiny will ultimately find and embrace her. The brightness of our light depends on the choices we make. Will you be everything to everyone and slowly watch your light diminish? Or, will you create healthy boundaries to protect your light so that it continues to shine bright, as intended, to bless the world? I encourage you to take heed to the Sunday school song from many years ago. This little light of mine… I’m gonna let it shine!
THIS LITTLE
WRITTEN BY RAINBOW HUFF WWW.RAINBOWINSPIRES.COM
ENIM FO
LIGHT
Kristal pours out her heart in this behind the scenes look at pain turned to purpose. Shattered Glass is a candid look at the healing power of Jesus Christ. Restoration is the result of giving God permission to heal every area of your life. The journey towards forgiveness and wholeness are captured in every page of this book. If you have ever been victimized by sexual abuse, abandoned or been rejected, this book will be the catalyst to jump start your journey towards healing. The author also leaves space for intimate reflection and journaling.
Kristal Clark, Author of Shattered Glass Foreword by Real Talk Kim Shattered Glass is a testament of the healing power of God. My story includes betrayal, sexual abuse and physical sickness. Take the journey alongside me in finding and experiencing a wholeness that can only come from being broken and restored by the power of God. ORDER YOUR COPY TODAY!
WWW.KRISTALKLEAR.ORG
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DNATS
There will come a time in your journey in which God will appear to be silent. This silence can be intentional to test your faith. Or the silence can be assumed, due to the onset of fear.
God never promised the journey would be without pain or discomfort. In fact, the pain and discomfort are part of the plan. Don’t revert to Plan B and assume that because things are not going smoothly that you are going in the wrong direction. Trust that God knows what is best.
Sometimes the difficulty of the journey can intensify the voice of fear. You begin to question your abilities and even start to tell God how you are not fit for the task. If you could do it in your own abilities, there would be no need for God. Stop focusing on saying what you can’t do and do what you can. Sometimes when you start doing, you will realize you can do more than you thought. Sometimes the difficulty of the journey can intensify the voice of fear. You begin to question your abilities and even start to tell God how you are not fit for the task. If you could do it in your own abilities, there would be no need for God. Stop focusing on saying what you can’t do and do what you can. Sometimes when you start doing, you will realize you can do more than you thought. If the instructions are not clear, stand in the silence. If you can’t hear God’s voice, stand in the silence.
You must quiet your thoughts to hear God. The loudness of fear is drowning out His voice. Wait until you can hear clearly.
STAND IN THE SILENCE
STAND IN THE SILENCE WRITTEN BY INDIANA TUGGLE
“Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to PRAYER: Dear God, I thank you that you are ordering withstand in the evil day, and having and establishing my steps. Help me to quiet the voice done all to stand.” Ephesians 6:13 of fear and rely on your strength and abilities rather than focus on my weaknesses. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Today’s Article taken from Indiana’s 90-day devotional entitled Awaken the Dream.
STAND
Indiana is an author and Kingdom Writing Coach who helps aspiring authors unleash the power of their pen to heal, transform lives, and create a legacy by turning their genius into a book. Follow her on FB, IG, and Twitter @ Author Indiana Tuggle.
WHEN YOUR RESILIENCE IS IN QUESTION WRITTEN BY DR. MALAIKA TURNER
Merriam Webster defines resilience as the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens. It is the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc. Jurie Rossouw referenced resilience as “advancing despite adversity” in the Six Domains of Resilience, an article on hellodriven.com. I’ve never focused on resilience as much as I have in 2020. After reflecting on my life and the tragic events that have plagued us since the start of the year, it dawned on me that I have been, and will go through, situations and circumstances that have had an enormous impact on my inner core. I found that I’ve been able to reflect because I exhibit resilience. Now It’s Your Turn Have you ever been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.? Have you ever been stepped on, dropped, and/or rolled over, yet you return to your original state and progressed forward? What strategies have you used to face adversity, overcome it, rise up and move on? Knowing that there is power in your words, what is your self-talk exercise when you are going through trials? When you are at your lowest? What words do you feed your mind?
YOU MAY FALL, BUT GET BACK UP - TODAY!
May I offer you a few ideas that I believe will speak to the greatness in you? You are not meant to fall and stay there. You have a bounce-back mechanism built into your DNA. It’s intricately woven into the fabric of your being. You have no choice but to exhibit resilience. People will try to keep you from rising out of your low place. Some individuals are assigned to whisper in your ear and tell you to stay down a little longer. But I want to encourage you to rise up, bounce back and move on! You are not meant to miss Godordained opportunities that are designed to pull you out of where you are into a new place of victory. Donnie McClurkin used a repetitive phrase that encourages folks in the gospel and secular music industries. I would consider it to be the anthem for the resilient ones. The words go something like this, “we fall down, but we get up, we fall down, but we get up, we fall down, but we get up, for a saint is just a sinner who falls down and got up.” You may fall, but get back up – TODAY! It’s so important for you to recognize that you are an overcomer! You have been through many life challenges, but if you are still here and you have learned how to thrive after the pain and move forward, then you are exhibiting resilience. Maya Angelo said it best, “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
FER TILI & TY
ME WRITTEN BY TANERRA DENISE WILLIS
Just like hair and breast, a woman’s ability to have a baby feels integral to her womanhood. We may have danced to the popular song, “I Am Not My Hair” by India Arie. We have also celebrated countless women as they make the formidable choice to have a mastectomy in the name of health. To be honest, those are deeds worth standing behind and encouraging; however, until you are presented with the reality of losing your hair, cutting of one or both breasts, or not being able to reproduce do you truly understand. My fertility and journey to become a mother have been on my mind for the last decade. The details of which I have mostly kept to myself. However, my initial guilt and shame are no more. I guess that is the biggest success. I talk and share openly whenever it seems appropriate. In fact, “6.1 million women in the United States ages 15–44 have difficulty becoming pregnant or staying pregnant,” according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, 2019). I wholeheartedly believe my decisions as a young adult have contributed to my limited ability to reproduce. I toggle between being grateful for having one amazing son and many regrets. No, I am not one of those women who say, “I don’t regret anything” or “My past made me what I am today.” Yes, the latter is true, but I know had I made better decisions at earlier times I could have easily alleviated some of the hurt, sadness, medical visits, and costs associated with not being able to reproduce unassisted. The details of my infertility pale in comparison to the journeys of some women and with the use of medical intervention could easily be remedied, but that is not the point. My big take away is to be whole no matter what, and that looks different to each of us. The strength of a woman is parallel to none and is the catalyst to persevering in triumph despite how our stories read.
Finally, I want to admonish young ladies to honor themselves by respecting and preserving their bodies. Do not be in a rush to join the crowds of those who casually have sex and become mothers. Honor you! There will be plenty of time to engage in intercourse, but you cannot redeem what you may lose by sharing yourselves with someone, or many people, too soon and too often. If you have young girls, spend time with them helping them to understand reproductive health. Not just learning their organs, but how they work and what things can compromise them. Highlight it as a gift that should only be shared with great discretion.
I WANT TO ADMONISH YOUNG LADIES TO HONOR THEMSELVES.
Referencehttps://www.hhs.gov/opa/reproductive-health/fact-sheets/female-infertility/index.html
GUEST WRITER
REASONS WHY A WOMAN OVER SHOULD EMBARK ON A SELF DISCOVERY JOURNEY WRITTEN BY: DENISE Y. MOSE, PH.D, AND AUTHOR
Look, I understand. At this point in your life, your mostly like established on your job and looking at retiring pretty soon. Or, you’ve started career number two and finding your place. Either way, I bet you’re a bit bored by all of that. We are creative people, it’s in our DNA to be curious about all kinds of things. Which brings me to our discussion today. I did something five years ago because this chick was in dire need of a serious shift. I’d like to share that in our little chitty-chat here. You ready? This involves a genuine conversation with yourself and if I had to guess, you’ve already done that a few times. Let’s get your mojo back. Here we go:
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BLIND IN YOUR BUBBLE
YOUR BANK IS BIGGER
YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF
Same job, same office, same coffee pot, same clothes, same people, same route to work. You know this pattern and it’s comfortable. I don’t want to offend you, but you may see it that way. I believe you are limiting yourself, my dear. It can be dangerous to follow a familiar path. You get used to doing what you do and watch a movie at night to get you in a hypnagogic state because the next day will be the twin of the previous one. Get out of your bubble! Write down three places you really want to see. Imagine yourself being immersed there. Can you smell the air? I’m whispering two words in your ear right now, “Jump In”!
Stop it, stop it right now. Yes, you can afford an awesome vacation. I’d wager that a few of your friends can as well. Let’s get back to them later. Think of all the things you thought you couldn’t buy, but eventually did. Didn’t you feel better afterwards? I know you did. You’ve got the resources and it won’t break you. Actually, it’ll inspire you to keep going. Go ahead, I dare you to pack that bag and have the time of your life. Don’t forget the sunscreen!
Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not here, all you have is today. Life is so very short. Taking on things that scare us reveals our inner strength. I don’t want you to wish you’d done something, especially when you had the time. Guess what? When I moved to China for a year, I knew absolutely no one. That didn’t matter to me. I took a chance on that girl in the mirror and she’s never let me down. You are your best opportunity for fun!
Make that list, devise a plan, pick a date and go. Tell me all about it when you return. Dr. Denise Y. Mose is a “Jill of all Trades”! Presently, her latest book, “Blind Faith, My Life Changing Journey in China” can be purchased on her website www.drdenisemose.com. Dr. D discusses the beauty of traveling and how teaching in various cultures makes you stronger. Her podcast, “Self-Discovery w/ Dr. D” airs each Sunday at 4pm CMT on Spotify.
WHEN TERROR IS A I love kissing the sun.
gift
Sun kissing is a gift I love. Basking in a state of joy while the whole world seems unstable is a Masquerade I choose to accept. Better that than blaming the terror I sometimes feel on being confined to my home. I treasure my family when we gather around the dining room table with tender morsels and the giddy laughter of cabin fever. I was planning to travel. But I have settled for nice sheets. Even so, sleepless nights, want to steal my rest. It could be from the stored up energy in my legs missing long walks in the city. Terror strikes when I focus on the what is and the what ifs. I used to joke, if you want to lose a pound or two get yourself a boyfriend with the flu. That doesn't have the same ring to it anymore. The other morning, I woke from a dream. The celebratory setting did not match the ending. I stood at the top of a deep waterfall. It was beautiful, but my final position allowed me to go in one foreboding direction. Sounds terrible. But I woke up. It seems like every time I set a new goal for my life the bottom falls out from under me and my mind tells me, it's not even worth it to reach for my dreams because the suffering in the trying is too much. Life always has problems. I just notice them more when I'm trying to get somewhere. So, I react to my life and want to give up. Maybe it's because everyone around me seems to be facing the same thing, I've decided to try on a new perspective. “This is your life reacting to you living it.”
WRITTEN BY P'ALEX DILLION
So what if my life rebels against my goals? The leap is there for the taking. Not so terrible. A long time ago, an ancient king refused to allow his servants to leave his land and establish their own kingdom. If they stayed, he allowed them the small comforts of his land. It's luxuries, tender morsels and pleasures. But the servants refused. They wanted freedom and the king caused a great suffering. The servants were sorry. It was terrible. But it was worth it. When I think, this moment in time is beautiful, my mind screams in protest, Why? The confinement has allowed – forced – me to fall in love with people I've taken for granted. And if not for love, what’s it all for? It may look like I'm falling down the water’s edge but what if wings catch me up?
IMMA BE MY OWN BEST FRIEND WRITTEN BY: SHAUNDYLL ROGERS
Recently, I found myself pulling a line from the Beyonce song “Me Myself and I”. A young lady was complaining to me about the committed relationship that she had been in for three years and her uncertainties around ever wanting to marry him. After listening to her give me a list of concerns, issues and reasons for apprehension, I asked the question, “What advice would you give your best friend?” She paused, slightly smiled and looked up at me. After a few seconds of silence, I told her she needed to become her own best friend and give herself some of the great advice that she offers up to others. Days later, as I pondered back on our chat, I thought about all of the great advice I have given to those I love and care about, but also how much of the advice I gave but didn’t take when similar situations arose in my personal life. Advice, that if I had taken, would have shielded me from pain, taken me down better paths and gotten me to destinations faster. I then began to ask myself questions: Why didn’t I take my own advice? Why was it so easy to help others but so hard to help myself? Why did I love others enough to want the best for them but hesitate to take actions that were best for me? My answers to those questions varied, but I realized that I haven’t always been able to be my own best friend.
This made me think about my best friend who I have known for 17 years. I cherish our relationship. We can be honest about anything, we only want the best for each other and when issues arise, we can depend on one another to give sound advice while confidently knowing the advice will produce a positive outcome. As I think about the qualities of our great friendship, I’m forced to face the truth about how I’ve incorporated those qualities in my relationship with myself. Have I been honest with myself about any and everything? Have I always wanted the best for myself? Can I depend on myself for sound advice? Unfortunately, the answer is no. A conversation with someone looking for personal advice took me down a path of personal realization. The realization that the time has come for me to commit to consistently being my own best friend. I have many life experiences that have developed my perception, filled me with wisdom and produced a wealth of knowledge that I can draw from. That’s the best type of bestie any woman could ask for.
BE A
FINISHER
Finish what you started, this mentality is not for the meek or mild hearted. Nobody said it would be easy, but you’ve come too far to give up now. You are built to last, don't be so quick to throw in the towel. You have to finish, even if it means crying, scratching and clawing your way out. You feel me, you know what I’m talking about. Whether its school, marriage, raising a child or a job, you can't just quit you have to finish what you commence. Sometimes you’ll be so frustrated, you’ll say to yourself, what am I doing here, this doesn’t make any sense. You’ll have to fight, use your muscle, use your grit. Fight with everything you have, use every little bit. You have to talk your way through, this situation is mind over matter. You control what thoughts you accept, cast down that doubt and watch those demons scatter. You’re so close to the finish line, push through your enthusiasm's lull. Get past that negative energy, over those things you will really have to mull. No matter how hard it is, no matter how tough things get, finish what you start so you don’t live with regret. Be a finisher
REHSINIF A EB
WRITTEN BY: SHARON WILSON
WRITTEN BY MICHELLE WASHINGTON
Mahisha Dellinger stands as a giant in business and as a leader for all. She is a trailblazer in the natural hair industry. She started her company, Curls Beauty Brands in 2002. With an enormous amount of 'No's' she received the one yes that would propel her forward. She was one of four natural hair companies that were approved and placed on the prime real estate shelves in Target. Curls have worked with celebrities such as Halle Berry, Alicia Keys, Nia Long, Tia Mowry, Chili, Blair Underwood, Ashanti, Yvette Nicole Brown, Echo Kellum and so many more. Influencers and bloggers are known to connect with Curls because of their high performance, quality ingredients, and exceptional customer service and ethical business core values. Mahisha, always used what she had to create her business. She transformed her garage into her corporate office in 2002 and from her humble beginnings she has taken the Curls brand, her philosophy of minding your business and MORE around the world and to many countries. Don't get it twisted she is not just an innovator and elevator in the hair world but Mahisha is teaching us to stand up, stand in and stand for ourselves and what we are purposed to be and do.
HOW DO YOU CONTINUE TO EVOLVE AND STAY AT THE FOREFRONT OF YOUR CONSUMERS’ MINDS? I listen. How prepared were you for the level of success you have accomplished? Oh, baby, I was ready! When you go from the projects to the penthouse it is a breeze. Staying in the penthouse is another story!
HOW DO YOU OVERCOME DISAPPOINTMENT?
I allow myself to go through a grieving process; then I step into launch mode to figure out how to change course and correct the ship.
WHAT LESSON HAS TAKEN YOU LONGER TO LEARN? The art of patience… although I am not quite sure if I ever will!
HOW ARE YOU NAVIGATING IN YOUR PERSONAL AND BUSINESS LIFE DURING THIS NEW SEASON SINCE COVID-19? Whew, barely! My work life balance is way out of sync. Homeschooling has also interrupted my work flow, so I find myself staying up later and getting up earlier just to get work done.
OTHER PILLARS UNDER THE MAHISHA BRAND
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO INSPIRE WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD?
If you can think it, you can be it, if you can dream it, you can achieve it. If you can see it, IT IS YOURS!
MIND YOUR BUSINESS TV SHOW ON OWN Oprah Winfrey Network
BLACK GIRLS MAKING MILLIONS BUSINESS COACHING CONFERENCE
Mahisha is a wife, mother, sister, daughter, and sister friend. She is a queen that so happens to be a boss! Mahisha, we welcome you to the Women of MORE legacy of strength, courage, bravery, a voice to nations, and a role model to those that are looking to stand in their truth and execute in purpose and passion. You are a Woman of MORE!
@mahishadellinger @curls www.CURLS.biz
Madelyne WOODS
THE VOICE WE NEED RIGHT NOW
Madelyne delivers a smart, sexy brand of talk with a rapid fire, humorous tempo. Her energy and moxie make conversations intimate and revealing. Her honest perspective as a wife, mother and woman of a certain age allows Madelyne to go there with herself, too. She’s comfortable sharing comical stories about her escapades in the spotlight, her adventures with her personal adaptation to “mid” life, and the joys of raising two kids and being married.
@MADELYNEWOODS
You have created an effective sound that is heard and appreciated around the world. Why do you think people gravitate toward you? I think because I live in my reality. My mom once told me that even as a young child, I was always super independent and never followed the crowd. I don't know if it was because I was the youngest of three girls and I always felt different from my sisters, but early on, I learned to bet on me. That doesn't mean I get it right all the time, and when I'm wrong, I'm quick to apologize and do everything I can to make it right. But I honestly just try to be myself and live in my reality. I like who I am, and I think that because I'm comfortable with myself, faults and all, it makes me comfortable with everybody else, which makes everybody else comfortable with me. I try to accept people where they are with no opinion, no judgment, and no hard feelings, until they give me a reason not to, and even then, I feel like we can disagree and live on because there is no perfection in this world. That's me: pure heart, pure mind, never perfect. What is your message today for our current pandemic? This is a time to remember who you are and be confident in your ability to think for yourself. This pandemic took all of us by surprise and most of us are still trying to make sense out of the hows and whys and what can we do to survive. If nothing else, Covid-19 is proof that the only thing you are completely in control of in this world is you. That's it. Whether you're facing a life or death experience or simply picking flowers for your garden, your actions determine if you're going to bloom where you're planted. It goes back to what I was saying before - you've got to figure out how to live in your own individual reality. Everybody wants to live, everybody wants to succeed everybody wants to win, but the way to do that is different for everybody. Take a little time to Identify your way. Control yourself, control your patience, control your impulse to move fast or follow the crowd. Be still, think, and plan. Remember who you are, and listen to the God voice inside of you.
Your ability to pivot successfully is incredible. When do you know to pivot and what preparation do you put into place before and after you pivot? If you can manage your emotional reflex, often time, the situation will dictate itself. You can start down a path and everything can be going beautifully and then POW! - life kicks you in the kidneys and you're like how in the fck did i get here?! Not one of us is going to get through this life unscathed. There's tragedy, disappointment, upset, setback, backslides, whatever you want to call it, something is going to throw your grand scheme into chaos - and you know what? You can get past it. That's the trick, learning how to get past what you can't get over. For me, the way to do that is to first take a deep breath and not let my emotions run away with me. Life is just a collection of experiences that we have to respond to with intent, not so much emotion.That means when things aren't going so good, and even sometimes when they're going great, we have to maintain an awareness and perspective that allows us to define the experience for what it really is - a temporary blip on the timeline of our lives. The only thing constant in life is change. As change occurs, you can do one of two things: 1). course correct and adapt to the change, or 2). move on to a new situation. When you accept that the current reality you're living is going to change one day, because let's face it, nothing lasts forever be it good or not so good, then you can appreciate the situation for what it is or has been, and your next move will become clear. I'm not saying to not let yourself feel anything, I'm saying you can't let your feelings (emotions) dictate your next move. Take time to reflect on all the good and not so good things you experienced in that reality and what you learned along the way. Do some self evaluation about how you'll handle things next time if you run into a similar experience, and before you know it, your next experience, opportunity, relationship, situation or reality is here, and you've got a brand new shot at making life beautiful again.
What would you say to inspire women who may be ready to give up? It's not time. I've been blindsided by life so many times and it's never easy, but my faith is incredibly strong. I believe God says yes to me so often that when He does say no or things don't go my way, I just have to trust Him. I've lost a child, a home, a business, important friends and relationships, and I've never stopped trusting that God would make it better. I got fired, laid off, divorced, i lost my dad, my mom is not well - i mean, life is a lot, but I know God walks with me every step. So I keep going. Sometimes I cry and I feel really low, and that's ok. Tears are cleansing. Lows are a snap back that force me to take a minute to recharge my power to reach new highs. I once read that an electric eel buries itself in the ocean floor to rest and recharge. They're completely motionless for days, covered in mud, and when they're ready, they re-emerge ready to zap the world. I like that imagery: this beautiful black creature with a natural life force powerful enough to electrify his entire environment is smart enough to take a time out when necessary just to reset. Wow. So, every morning I thank God for the struggle and the strength because all of it - the good and the not so good - help me maintain my balance, my humility, my sanity and my success. As long as there's breath in my body, there is no giving up, there's only keep going to keep winning.
DAY 137: PRODUCTIVE PAIN
WRITTEN BY: ADDRIANA MONTALVO
FOUNDER & CEO OF PURPOSED STEPS, SPEAKER, AUTHOR, LEVEL UP INFLUENCER AND INTENTIONAL LIFE STRATEGIST
For a very long time I allowed my past to hold me back from the dreams I had buried in my heart. I had to make peace with my past. You see, if you don’t make peace with where you come from those betrayals, the hurts and rejection's it will be really hard to get to your goals and dreams. Every day I make a choice to perceive “life is happening for me and that it doesn’t happen to me.” I really don’t know if that’s true. I’m just making a conscious choice to perceive challenges as something beneficial, an opportunity to learn something, so that I can deal with them in the most productive way. And I believe we all have it in us to use our struggles in a productive way to rise above it and go for the dream.
@ADDRIANAMONTALVO @ADDRIANA16 WWW.PURPOSEDSTEPS.COM
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