Women's Lifestyle Magazine, November 2018, Savor the Season by womenslifestylegr

EE FR

Grand Rapids|Holland|Grand Haven

NOV

Chef

Jenna Arcidiacono

Savor the

SEASON

Herman Miller in the Museum Store

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Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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Letter from the Editor Autumn is a season of transition, a colorful and transfixing passage between the extremes of summer and winter, and its physical characteristics are illustrative of the changes that inevitably occur in our lives.

A unique store located in the the heart of the Byron Center Downtown District with a beautiful card selection, vast arts/crafts, gift bags galore, and numerous items to spruce up your home or office this holiday season! Thank you for your support this past year!

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As we worked on the edition before you, the theme “Savor the Season,” beckoned me to think beyond the dining delights of autumn (which are as bountiful and delicious as they are comforting). I found myself contemplating articles that invite us to share in periods of transition: recovering from addiction, healing from trauma to help others and answering a call to a life of charity. On page 16, learn about Stacy Peck, whose innate benevolence has helped save the life of a former high school classmate, and their effort together to revolutionize how we treat addiction and recovery. Vonnie Woodrick graciously shares her story of healing from the death of her husband by suicide 15 years ago, and how she is using her journey to help others find comfort and support in their darkest hours (34). In a special Q&A, Jayn and Ray Harkema discuss how working as missionaries in the Congo in the ’80s transformed their lives and why they continue to return decades later. (40). While these articles each tell a different story, to me, they all say one thing: embrace the seasons in between and receive the winds of change as we do those of autumn: with gratification. As the holiday season gets underway, we bring you plenty of ways to find the utmost pleasure in it all. Learn how to host a dinner party and enjoy it (26), bake the best apple pie your mouth as ever seen (36), explore the art of tablescaping (30) and upgrade your hot chocolate game (10). West Michigan offers myriad of local events that allow you to revel in the season, not the least of which is the March of Dimes Signature Chefs Auction, taking place on Nov. 12. The event brings together 20 of the city’s top culinary talents for an evening of exceptional dining. Attendees bid on exclusive auction packages, with proceeds going toward funding research, programs and services for premature birth in Michigan (24). Additionally, Frederik Meijer Gardens once again welcomes the public to take in a stunning display of holiday traditions from around the world (58). Read on and enjoy!

-Elyse Wild, Editor

Free lessons with purchase

Some of the best things in life are free - including Women’s LifeStyle Magazine! Thank you to our community advertising partners for making it possible. Women’s LifeStyle is a dynamic multi-media platform designed to make beneficial connections in our community. The positive, upbeat, award winning and popular locally owned publication is supported by a dynamic mobile friendly online presence and an interactive website (including an events calendar, embedded video), as well as friendly, helpful and consistent social media interaction with the community. With 490+ distribution locations, Women’s LifeStyle is favored by an active, engaged and progressive audience. You are now looking at the 248th edition. All content ©Women’s LifeStyle, Inc. 2018.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

November 2018

The People Who Make It Happen

Edition #248

Publisher Victoria Upton Associate Publisher Two Eagles Marcus tem@womenslifestyle.com Editor Elyse Wild elyse@womenslifestyle.com Content Producer Sarah Anderson Production Designer Larissa Espinosa Editorial Intern Megan Jezak Contributing Writers Danea Mather Daniel Parker Elissa Spyker Elyse Wild Karen Kloostra Kayla Sosa Lori Marks Megan Jezak Peaches McCahill Shahad Alzadain Sarah Anderson Shannan Denison Photography August Nyson Elyse Wild Daniel Parker Two Eagles Marcus

Advertising Sales Susie Gordon / Sales Manager susie@womenslifestyle.com Sarah Anderson sarah@womenslifetyle.com Eve Shetterly eve@womenslifestyle.com Rhonda VanDrunen rhonda@womenslifestyle.com

LIFE 10 Ways to Savor the Season in November............................ 6 Getting Clean in Dirt City......................................................... 16 iunderstand: How Vonnie Woodrick is Revolutionizing Our Understanding of Suicide and Mental Illness................. 34 Serving Others: A Q&A with Ray and Jayn Harkema.......... 40 Positive Co-Parenting............................................................... 44 We’re Out There................................................................... 51,53 Taming Jealousy........................................................................ 52 STYLE & BEAUTY Gift Guide................................................................... 12,22,28,32 Explore the Art of Tablescaping.............................................. 30 Keeping a Keepsake................................................................ 42 Consignment, Thrift and Retail................................................ 48 FOOD Bottoms Up: Upgrade Your Hot Chocolate........................... 10 Snackable Recipes................................................................... 27

Fall Cheese Board........................................................................ 27

Pumpkin Prosciutto Stackers....................................................... 27

Apple Pepita Crackers................................................................ 27

Chocolate Hummus..................................................................... 38

Salted Date Caramel Sauce...................................................... 38

Vegan Cheese Wheels................................................................ 38

Delicious Desserts...................................................................... 36

Mom’s Apple Pie.......................................................................... 36

Coconut Macaroons with Dried Cherries................................. 36

Drinks with Dan: The Harvest Cocktail.................................... 39 LEARN & DO Voluntary RE:Action.................................................................... 8 What I Learned from Betty Ford.............................................. 14 The Pursuit of Happiness........................................................... 18 Her Legacy: Agnes Florida Chalmers..................................... 20

CALL US: (616) 458-2121

Signature Chefs Auction.......................................................... 24

EMAIL US: info@womenslifestyle.com

How to Host a Dinner Party and Enjoy It................................ 26

SEND MAIL: 3500 3 Mile Rd NW, Ste A Grand Rapids, MI 49534

Reader’s Lounge....................................................................... 46 How to be the Ultimate Party Guest...................................... 50 Christmas and Holiday Traditions Around the World............ 55 KDL Announces 7th Annual Write Michigan Short Story Contest.................................................................... 58 Women Sweep National Philanthropy Day Awards............. 60 Five Questions to Ask Your Aging Parents.............................. 62

ON THE COVER: Jenna Arcidiacono | PHOTO BY: Two Eagles Marcus Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

womenslifestyle.com 5

10 Ways to Savor the Season

NOVEMBER 1

Donate your time, treasures or talents.

Try the art of tablescaping.

Send out affirmation cards to those you love and appreciate.

Order your turkey early and choose among plentiful organic options.

7 Be grateful for the gifts and blessings in your life.

During the last month of fall, I encourage you to make the most of each day. Savor the season with these 10 ideas. BY PEACHES MCCAHILL

Indulge in a charcuterie board.

“Be thankful for what you have and you will end up having more.” —Oprah Winfrey

Stock up on wine — perfect for winter hibernation.

Plant bulbs in anticipation of spring.

Create a new holiday dish.

Plan a friends-giving.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Peaches McCahill is founder and president of The McCahill Group, a leading provider of health, wellness, beauty and talent solutions, and owner of M Power Studio. She has a passion to inspire others with simplistic lifestyle suggestions.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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Voluntary RE:action W

elcome to our volunteer column sponsored by Grand Rapids Community Foundation. Discover which volunteer position best describes you. Pick a cause and react voluntarily!

■ The

One Behind the Camera

For those with interest in video production and television, lend a hand with GRTC at the Community Media Center. The TV station is often looking for volunteers to help film at events around town. Learn how a TV show is put together and have fun connecting with the community. Take Action: Volunteers can start as young as 13-years-old and should apply at grcmc.org. Brighten up a sick child’s day by participating in Project Night Lights at Spectrum Health’s Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital. Community members and local law enforcement flash their lights at the windows of the hospital while the kids inside flash their lights back. It’s a unique way to brighten up a child’s mood and make them smile. Every second Wednesday of the month, grab a flashlight or your cell phone light and flash them from the sidewalks outside the hospital. Take Action: Additional flashlights are needed, and if you are interested in donating funds to help with their purchase, visit give.spectrumhealth.org/Flashlight.

■ Group Effort

This opportunity will require some initial funds, but it’s a great cause to donate some time and money to. Groups of friends or co-workers are invited to sponsor a table, half a table or individual seats at the Meals of Hope Bean and Rice event on Nov. 2, hosted by New Life Church. The ticket cost goes toward buying the food that, at the event, the volunteers will pack into 50,000 meals. Take Action: Buy your tickets online on the New Life Church Facebook page. If you’re passionate about animal rights and

convincing others to go to a vegan lifestyle, consider volunteering for International Cube Day on Nov. 3. Volunteers are encouraged to wear black clothing, and will assist with the event. The Cube of Truth is a peaceful demonstration with the goal of helping others become vegan. Through displays of animal cruelty footage and a sales pitch, those with the Anonymous for the Voiceless hope to lead people to a vegan lifestyle. Take Action: To learn more, join their Facebook group: Anonymous for the Voiceless.

■ Helper to the

■ A Light in the Dark

■ The Vegan Activist

Homeless

Join non-profit Dirt City Sanctuary in their effort to provide West Michigan’s homeless with a backpack full of winter supplies. The Purple Backpack Project distribution event is from 1-4 p.m., Nov. 17 at Heartside Park, 301 Ionia Ave SW. Supplies are still needed to fill up these backpacks, like wool socks, hat and gloves, personal hygiene items and more. You can also sign up to volunteer your time at the event, where the purple backpacks will be distributed. Additionally, a hot meal will be provided by Amore Trattoria Italiana and hair cuts and hot shaves provided by Salon Re. Take Action: Find the full list of supplies needed and sign up to volunteer on Dirt City’s website, dirtcitysanctuary.org.

■ Wish Granters

Help out Make-a-Wish Michigan in helping grant a wish to kids with terminal illnesses. There are many different ways to volunteer, from assisting in the wish-granting process to helping out at a major fundraising event. There is also a need for volunteers in the two Michigan offices, located in Grand Rapids and Brighton. Office volunteers can help with filing, answering phone calls, taking donations and data entry Take Action: To apply for one of these volunteer opportunities, visit michigan.wish.org.

“Individually, our gifts may not make a significant difference. Collectively we can change systems and empower people who have historically been marginalized.” Nick Thole & Amy Turner-Thole

Volunteer Spotlight

Megan Stubbs Bissell Pet Foundation Board Member

It wasn’t until I rescued my ﬁrst dog that I knew adoption advocacy was something I was ﬁercely passionate about. I am so honored to be a part of Bissell Pet Foundation and help make a difference in animals lives. And also educating humans on the importance of spaying, microchipping, and why they should adopt, not shop.”

Does your organization have a volunteer opportunity that would be perfect for this page or an extraordinary volunteer who we should spotlight? Please email our editor, Elyse Wild, at elyse@womenslifestyle.com.

Meet our One Hundred New Philanthropists You don’t need a million dollars to be a philanthropist; you just need heart and an organization to help you move forward. Learn more by contacting Jenine Torres at 616.454.1751 or jtorres@grfoundation.org. Nick Thole and Amy Turner-Thole, members of 100 New Philanthropists

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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UPGRADE YOUR HOT CHOCOLATE

“On hot chocolate: It flatters you for awhile, it warms you for an instant; then all of a sudden, it kindles a mortal fever in you.” — Marie Marquise de Sévigné

s frost begins to bite at the tips of autumn leaves, it ushers in all of the little joys that endear us through the coming season, not the least of which is a delicious, steaming mug of hot chocolate. Whether you brew your own from scratch or enjoy the prepackaged variety, give this timeless treat a well-earned glow up by adding a pinch of this and a dash of that.

Caramel: Pair a rich, dark or semi-sweet hot chocolate with a swirl of caramel. The caramel will add sweetness and extra creaminess to the blend.

Peppermint:

Peppermint and hot chocolate make for an enticing contrast. The cooling nature of peppermint works nicely with the heat of hot chocolate, imparting a wonderful aroma as well. Melt a candy cane or mint in the mug and enjoy.

Nutmeg: What nutmeg does for eggnog it also can do for hot chocolate.

Coconut Milk: Invoke the tropics by substituting coconut milk for regular milk. You may feel like you’re on your own private island.

Peanut Butter: Few people can resist the combination of chocolate and peanut butter. Melt a spoonful of peanut butter into the beverage and indulge.

Liqueur:

Enhance hot chocolate with your favorite liqueurs. Orange and raspberry flavorings work well, or try a creamy spirited beverage, like Kahlua or Irish cream.

Marshmallows: Of course one of the simplest ways to dress up hot chocolate is to harken back to your childhood by filling the mug to the brim with sweet marshmallows.

Nutmeg offers that earthy bite that calls to mind long days baking in the kitchen.

Chile Powder:

Chile can add a little kick to hot chocolate that works surprisingly well. Add just enough to offer a little tingle of residual heat at the back of your throat. This concoction also may help clear up a case of congestion or the sniffles.

Coffee:

Add a splash of coffee to the hot chocolate for an instant boost of caffeine and some mocha flavoring.

Whipped Cream:

Create the flavor combination of a chocolate cream pie with a generous dollop of whipped cream. For a truly rich flavor, make a batch of fresh whipped cream, which will also thicken the hot chocolate.

DID YOU KNOW...

The terms “hot chocolate” and “hot cocoa” are used interchangeably, but they actually refer to two different beverages. Hot chocolate is made from shaved solid chocolate, which contains both cocoa and cocoa butter. Hot cocoa is made from cocoa powder, which alone does not constitute full chocolate.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it’s a time for families to get together to visit and share time with each other. We are open Thanksgiving day from 6am - 2pm so our employees can spend time with their families. Happy Thanksgiving & Count Your Blessings!

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Gift Guide

The Final Countdown

You know that feeling the night before Christmas when you can’t sleep because you’re so excited to wake up the next morning to food, family and gifts under the tree? Make every day Christmas Eve with this large, wooden and stunning Advent calendar; each morning open the door to a new treat. $125 at the Grand Rapids Art Museum Store, 101 Monroe Center St, NW. Artmuseumgr.org

Neck and Neck

This charming neck warmer from Parooz keeps the winter chill fashionably at bay. $35 at Parooz, 6504 28th St SE.

Pretty Poncho

Take a trip to Shakedown Street to pick up this stunning poncho for your ﬂower power friend. Made in India, the warm acrylic fabric draws your eyes in with a deep navy backdrop, swirling turquoise and yellow ﬂoral and paisley pattern. $24.99 at Shakedown Street, 670 Leonard St NW. Shakedownstreetgr.com

Leather Weather

“I glove you,” she said. “I’m smitten with you too,” he responded. Share the love this season and give the gift of cashmere-lined leather gloves from Bella Furs. $100 at Bella Furs, 660 Cross Well Ave SE. Bellafurs.com

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Available in a variety of swoon-worthy aromas, these perfume rollers are ethically-made and vegan-friendly, so your eco-conscious loved one can rock their favorite scent with peace of mind that no harm was caused to the earth or animals in their production. $15 each at Fox Naturals, 619 Wealthy St SE A. Fox-naturals.com 12

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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What Betty Taught Me: What I learned from First Lady Betty Ford

(1974) FIRST LADY BETTY FORD, HALF-LENGTH PORTRAIT, FACING FRONT. , 1974. [PHOTOGRAPH] RETRIEVED FROM THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS

or the past two years, I've had the opportunity of a lifetime as a young, aspiring writer: I had the honor of being the research assistant to a New York Times Best Selling author, working on a biography of Grand Rapids native Betty Ford. Lisa McCubbin, the author, is based in San Francisco and most of our work together was done virtually, besides a couple times she traveled to Michigan for some local research. For months, I pored over articles and photos in the Grand Rapids City Archives beginning in the early 1930s through the early 2000s. As the book concept developed, Lisa began writing the manuscript. Quite often, she’d send me little assignments to write about specific events that would later be edited by her to go into a chapter, which she’d then send me to read over and edit. Later, my big project was the bibliography in the back of the book. This entire process has taught me so many things and even has inspired me to someday write my own book. But most of all, learning so much about Betty (her daughter, Susan Elizabeth Ford Bales, said I might even know more about her own mom than her!) has given me new perspectives and an appreciation for who she was and the inﬂuence she had during her lifetime.

Lesson 1: You are not politically defined by

the times.

From the beginning, Betty was transparent with the country whether they liked it or not. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer during her husband's first year in office, she shared it with the world. When she was asked on 60 Minutes about marijuana and premarital sex, she answered honestly that her kids have probably done it and she would hope that as a parent they could have a conversation with her about it and ask for advice. She told 60 Minutes that she was a pro-choice supporter. This was all very shocking to a lot of people in the ‘70s, and she received many angry letters, but she was not dissuaded. She continued to be open and even traveled to campaign for the Equal Rights Amendment.

Lesson 2: The First Lady does not always have to agree with the President.

Betty often would question her husband's decisions, and he admitted she was a strong counsel for him, in and out of office. When she first spoke out in that 60 Minutes interview, Jerry half-joked that she had made him lose supporters. He admired her outspokenness, and when several White House officials told him that he needed to tell her to stop talking about her opinions, he told them to go tell her themselves (They never did.) And it’s funny to look back and see that Betty was pretty liberal for a Republican First Lady, and some of her views differed from Jerry’s, but that was OK. Her personality was a perfect balance to Jerry’s straightlaced mentality.

BY KAYLA SOSA

Did You Know... •

Betty Ford worked as a model and fashion coordinator at Herpolsheimer’s, a department store in downtown Grand Rapids.

•

She was a dancer. Ford studied dance at several institutions, including with famed choreographer Martha Graham in New York City. She even started her own dance school in Grand Rapids.

•

She was divorced. Betty’s ﬁrst marriage was to Bill Warren. She later referred to her brief marriage with Warren as “The Five Year Misunderstanding.”

Lesson 3: Women are SUPERheroes! Throughout the course of producing this book with Lisa, we felt a strong force that connected us to Betty. It felt like it was destiny that we were working on this book. I wish more than ever that I could have met Betty. The way that she breezed through life with humor and a positive attitude will always be an inspiration to me. No matter what obstacle life threw at her, she handled it with candor and grace; whether it be breast cancer, being a somewhat single mother, divorce, chronic pain or addiction, she endured and showed other women that they can do the same. When she shared the news of her mastectomy, breast exams spiked as women ﬂocked to their doctors to get checked. Between that and the Betty Ford Center, it’s impossible to estimate how many hundreds of thousands of lives Betty touched, and possibly saved. Although she grew up in a time were women's capacities were limited, she never let gender roles define her as a woman or a person. If I could say one thing to Betty today, I would thank her for helping so many people and for having a legacy that will affect many generations beyond hers and mine. She showed women that they do have a voice and that it does have power, and she uplifted everyone around her and motivated us all to be a little better. Thank you, Betty. You’ll always be in my heart. To read more about Kayla’s experience and First Lady Betty Ford, visit womenslifestyle.com.

“No matter what obstacle life threw at her, she handled it with candor and grace; whether it be breast cancer, being a somewhat single mother, divorce, chronic pain or addiction, she endured and showed other women that they can do the same. Kayla Sosa is a multimedia journalism student at GVSU. She’s a local freelance writer and enjoys spending time with her husband, her kitty and her family. When she’s not writing, she likes to go on nature walks, do yoga and paint.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

6504 28th St. SE Suite E Grand Rapids,MI 49546 (616) 214-8513 shopparooz.com

Getting Clean in Dirt City:

After seeing a high school classmate in an article about homeless heroin addicts, Stacy Peck felt a strong urge to make a difference.

BY KAYLA SOSA | PHOTOGRAPHY BY TWO EAGLES MARCUS

t was February, in the dead of winter. Tyler Trowbridge was homeless, living on 28th Street, his hands turning purple from frostbite. When the reporter asked Trowbridge if he thought he would die on the streets, he said, “Yeah, I do. I love life, but I probably will die out here.” “The part that really got me was, not so much that he was hooked on heroin, but just the fact that he had no one.” Peck expressed. “He had not one person that he could call to get out of the winter conditions. It just broke my heart.”

STACY PECK, TYLER TROWBRIDGE AND WENDY BOTTS

to rob you, be careful, you don’t know what addicts are capable of,’” she recalled. Trowbridge, 34, was a “master panhandler” and would make hundreds of dollars just to spend on drugs. He was digging himself into a deeper pit, having done some type of drug every day since he was a teenager. “I was one of the worst of the worst,” Trowbridge said. “I was a really bad heroin and cocaine addict, I’d been doing it for over ten years and never been clean. I never thought I could ever get clean.”

Peck posted on Facebook about the article, alerting her high school friends that Trowbridge was a former classmate of theirs.

In the first week of treatment, Trowbridge had one slip up where he used again, but he quickly got back on track and is now eight months sober.

“And right away, we were all just kind of scheming, about how could we help him,” Peck said. “I just could not stand the thought that the article was out and he was just still out there.”

“He thought for sure I was going to ditch him,” Peck said. “I said, ‘We’re not giving up all this hard work we’ve already put in, let’s just keep going.’”

Along with another former classmate, Peck set up a GoFundMe page which laid out what Trowbridge would need and disclosed that she would find someone to manage the money for him. Treatment and counseling were among the needs on the list. She contacted a drop-in center that she thought Trowbridge might be at the following Monday, and told the receptionist to tell him she would be meeting him there. “My intent at that time was to tell him about the GoFundMe, see who could manage it for him, and just to try to educate myself on the resources that were around town so that we could get him help and get him off the streets,” Peck said. “I went there and started talking to him and realized how bad off he was.”

And so they did. Now, Peck and Trowbridge, along with Wendy Botts, are looking at the bigger picture of helping addicts in the area. Through Trowbridge’s recovery, many people volunteered to spend time with him and in that, he ended up building his own support system. This concept inspired the three to think bigger and see how they could create that for other people looking to recover from addiction. That is what Dirt City Sanctuary will be. “What if we recreate what we did for (Tyler) on this big scale, and just give people an option to recover in a totally different way,” Peck said. “Because right now, the recovery community is a lot of tough love...and that doesn’t work for a lot of people.” Trowbridge can attest to the success of the approach.

Peck booked Trowbridge into a treatment center and found him temporary shelter at a motel. The next day, he was already starting his recovery. Peck said at first, Trowbridge was skeptical — why would some random girl from high school want to help him out?

“How we approached my recovery just made sense for a lot of different reasons,” Trowbridge said. “And after seeing the success, that someone like me could turn it around, we just wanted to replicate it on a bigger scale.”

In the beginning, Peck received emails from people saying that she shouldn’t help Trowbridge.

The group is working with an architect to draw up plans on the first Dirt City Sanctuary campus, on which they plan to break ground in the spring of 2019.

“Especially in the first couple months of helping him, I got a lot of emails and calls and texts where people were saying, ‘Don’t let him into your home, he’s going

Botts got involved with Dirt City because she was a friend of Peck’s and wanted to make a difference in

DONATIONS FROM THE DIRTY CITY SANCTUARY PURPLE BACKPACK PROJECT

the recovery community after her son Jordan died of a Fentanyl overdose last year. She said Jordan suffered from mental health issues and was lucky to have a support system. He also had a passion for homeless people after volunteering at Degage for many years. Botts wants to continue helping those two communities through Dirt City Sanctuary, and said she hopes Jordan would be proud of her. “I hope to raise awareness about the homeless population and educate people about who’s homeless and why,” Botts said. “I think a lot of people have preconceived notions of how, what, why and who is homeless. Most Americans are only one major catastrophe away from homelessness.” Botts said she hopes to change the way our society views these communities of people dealing with tough circumstances in their lives. “A lot of people can be harsh on their views of heroin,” Botts said. “But once you start to break it down for them that 86 percent of heroin users were prescribed [opioids] by a doctor and that’s what led to their addiction, then all of a sudden they change their tune.” With Dirt City, there’s hope that the change can start here in West Michigan. “We hope that it can be replicated across the country and that we can change the conversation about homelessness, but also substance abuse disorder,” Botts said. Show your support for Dirt City by attending their next event: Purple Backpack Project from 1-4 p.m Nov. 17 at Heartside Park, 301 Ionia Ave SW. Backpacks ﬁlled with essential winter supplies will be given out to the homeless people in Grand Rapids. A hot meal will be provided by Amore Trattoria Italiana and haircuts and hot shaves provided by Salon Re. To learm more, visit dirtycitysanctuary.org Kayla Sosa is a multimedia journalism student at GVSU. She’s a local freelance writer and enjoys spending time with her husband, her kitty and her family. When she’s not writing, she likes to go on nature walks, do yoga and paint.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

DECEMBER

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Gift Guide

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ANOTHER ADOPTION OPTION Did you know there is an opportunity to GIVE BIRTH to your adopted child? Call 616-455-1499 or email dpeters@fertilitysupportcenter. org to schedule a complimentary consultation; and, visit: www.fertilitysupportcenter.org Contact us to learn how you can adopt an embryo or donate embryos for adoption.

The National Fertility Support Center (NFSC) helps build families through embryo donation and adoption. Through this medical miracle, those who have completed their family through In-Vitro Fertilization can gift their unused embryos to couples struggling with infertility. The adopting couple may then give birth to their own adopted child! Success is possible even for couples who haven’t been able to give birth following their own medical treatment. This advertisement was developed with grant support from the United States Department of Health and Human Services under grants #EAAPA 151029 & 171031-01-00. The content is the responsibility of the National Fertility Support Center and does not necessarily represent the official views or policies of, nor does it constitute an endorsement by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

The Pursuit of Happiness: A reflection on Untying Your Self-Worth from Productivity BY SHAHAD ALZAIDAN

n our over-stressed, obsessively goal-oriented, running on copious amounts of caffeine society, exhaustion is no stranger to those chasing after having it all. Between our multi-hyphenate occupations, our hobbies turned side-hustles, and our incessant need to perfect every moment to withstand the scrutiny of social media, that exhaustion is worn like a badge of honor, an indication of our go-getter attitudes and pursuit of personal fulfillment. While there is an endless barrage of tools and texts intended to light your fire to do more, perhaps what we really need is a little more encouragement to simply be. Do you notice yourself with an endless to-do list, or perhaps rarely scheduling time off? If we base our selfworth on what we can accomplish and produce, what happens when the work stops?

allow that to happen, then the moment those activities cease, we will suddenly find ourselves unworthy, a psychologically damaging ideology indeed. While hard work and commitment are admirable, there is a stark difference between having a busy life for the sake of busyness versus having an intentionally full life.

“When you recognize the difference between being busy versus leading a full life, you can deliberately choose the activities that fulfill you.

Deriving Self-Worth from Productivity As I sat on my counselor’s couch, thumb fervently scrolling through my phone in a futile attempt to find a day to schedule our next appointment together, the reality of my escaping from the overwhelming grief in my life sat in front of my tired eyes. Sheepishly, I had to tell him that the next available time slot I had would be at least another month away; a whole month just to find an hour of self-care time. It was a sobering moment. I could physically see my overfilled schedule staring right back at me. The reality is that this way of being is pervasive in our culture and is not exclusive to those wading through grief or trauma. Upon meeting people for the first time, one of the most common questions we ask them is “so, what do you do?” Our society has come to value, to a fault, productivity. We are constantly chasing to do more. While in theory the idea of doing more equaling more success is comforting, the reality is life is much more unpredictable than that. Sometimes in life, we aren’t able to “do” all the time, and that lack of doing should not cause our self-worth to plummet. If we

Recognizing the Difference between Busy and Full

When you recognize the difference between being busy versus leading a full life, you can deliberately choose the activities that fulfill you. Rest is not optional— it is vital. Your muscles don’t grow while you’re crunching away at the gym; they grow while you sleep and the muscle fibers repair themselves into a stronger version of their former selves. In that moment sitting in my counselor’s office, I realized that I needed to make a choice. The busyness of my life was running me ragged, so I began actively planning for days off. Can you begin to recognize where this busyness plays out in your own life? The process to change this habit requires practice. Like anything else, it can be difficult to untangle long-held

beliefs, especially when they have been so tightly woven into society’s expectation tapestry. What if we dared to tug at the string though? Perhaps we will find that what lays underneath serves us so much more than an unobtainable ideology. If suddenly, our self-worth was a given, and not something to be chased after, then perhaps we can find freedom in living in the now. The contentious Sigmund Freud once claimed, “How bold does one get when one is sure of being loved.” If we can be sure that our selfworth does not depend on our productivity, but rather is an innate part of our being, love for ourselves will be much easier to access. When we are sure of being loved, we are now free to be bold.

Permission to Rest

Imagine personal fulfillment coming from laying your head on a pillow, your heart fully content in knowing that no matter what got done today or didn’t, you are loved and accepted beyond measure. Just like your muscles gain strength at rest, the soul operates in much the same way. This is the ancient wisdom of ending every physical yoga practice with savasana, a pose meant to be corpse-like; you simply lay down and do nothing while integrating the practice you just completed. It is in doing nothing that we absorb all that we have done. As we move closer to the notoriously busy holiday season, I hope you recall the difference between being busy and full. Prioritize scheduling time off for yourself. Take a deep breath in, roll those shoulders up to your ears, and release them back down. Go to bed, you are already worthy.

An immigrant living in the heart of Grand Rapids, “Shoosh” is a practitioner of mindful living and a believer in the healing and transformative powers of love, kindness and dance.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

GIFT BARN & WINERY W

e have more than 20 wines and ciders that are all Michigan-made for you to sample in the winery. No reservations are needed for our tasting room. Anytime the building is open, you can come in to taste our products. We are always creating and experimenting with new kinds of wine.

The price is $5 per person for 5 products of your choice that includes souvenir Wine Glass & Tasting Sampler. Please bring your glass next time you visit and receive this tasting with our compliments.

Robinette’s Apple Haus & Winery 3142 Four Mile Rd, NE Grand Rapids, MI 49525 616-361-7180 HOURS: Mon-Sat 9am-5:30pm Sun Noon-5:30pm

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MODERN HOLIDAYS Artisan Market

November 9, 2018 - January 6, 2019

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Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Featuring Regional Artisans:

NOVEMBER EVENTS AT THE LIBRARY Easy as Pie... Crust Tuesday, November 6 7:00 pm Main Library 111 Library St NE Join us for this hands-on class and master the essential pie crust-making skills. Our instructor will walk you through the steps for mixing, rolling, and baking perfect flaky crusts.

HerLegacy Meet the Women of West Michigan Who Made History

Agnes Florida Chalmers Suffragist, Board of Education Trustee

I’m Dying to Talk with You Wednesday, November 7 7:00 pm Main Library 111 Library St NE Dave Kampfschulte has worked in the hospice field for 28 years as a volunteer. He will relate his experiences of interacting with patients and families at the end of life based on his book, I’m Dying to Talk with You.

DIY G RPL

RECIPE SCRAPBOOKING Saturday, November 10 1:00 pm Main Library 111 Library St NE Create your own unique recipe book to fill with family favorites and to treasure for years to come. Bring copies of your favorite recipes and we’ll provide the rest!

Holistic Job Seeking at Your Library Wednesday, November 14 7:00 pm Main Library 111 Library St NE Job searching is hard. Decisions are maddening, research is a grind, and resume writing is no cakewalk. Learn how to think about job searching, how to present yourself in person and in writing, and how to plan for future work that might not yet exist.

Veteran’s Tea: Canine Heroes Helping Heroes Saturday, November 17 7:00 pm Main Library 111 Library St NE Organizations like West Michigan Therapy Dogs and Paws with a Cause train service animals to assist West Michigan veterans. At this event, meet friendly therapy dogs, enjoy refreshments, and learn about these great organizations that support veterans.

gnes Chalmers led her colorful life at the center of roiling social movements at the turn of the twentieth century. An outspoken Christian Scientist and a suffragist, who wanted more than just the right to vote, she became the target of political sabotage when she ran for the Grand Rapids Board of Education in 1911. Chalmers’ bid for public office prompted criticism from high-profile opponents questioning her ability to keep religious beliefs separate from school matters. Early on Election Day newspaper ads falsely quoted Chalmers as saying, “If I am elected, I certainly shall take my religion into the schools with me.” Immediately, she traced the sabotage to prominent businessman John W. Blodgett and met from seven until midnight with him, his legal counsel, and the editor of the Grand Rapids Herald. They agreed that a formal retraction would run the next day.

and medical anarchy. It didn’t help that Socialists and factory workers, opponents of entrenched interests, were amenable to Chalmers’ arguments that physician interest in the public schools had a monetary basis and that female nurses were managing children’s health very well. Despite the opposition, Chalmers won her seat and was reelected in both 1914 and 1918, after she had become a popular school board member often covered by the press. Agnes Chalmers remained a passionate suffragist during her time on the Board of Education. As a member of the Grand Rapids Equal Franchise Club, she served as a board delegate to the 1913 Michigan Equal Suffrage Association convention in Lansing and traveled to the UK to study the tactics of Emmeline Pankhurst’s militant British movement. Upon her return, Chalmers acted as city editor when in 1914 local suffragists took over Grand Rapids Press operations for a special suffrage-themed edition.

Blodgett’s temptation to fraud emerged from a recent period of religious ferment

EVENTS ARE FREE AND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC 616.988.5400 WWW.GRPL.ORG Many of these programs are funded by the Grand Rapids Public Library Foundation.

The Greater Grand Rapids Women’s History Council is dedicated to educating the community and celebrating the legacies of local women, preserving knowledge of their past and inspiring visions for their future. For more information or to get involved, visit ggrwhc.org

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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Gift Guide

Kitty Love

Respecting animals is everybody’s duty, but loving them is a privilege of just a few. Give the gift of love this holiday season to a cat in need of fostering from Tyson’s Place. All expenses paid. Apply at tysonsplacerescue.org.

Sweet Succulent

Stonesthrow sends a message to their customers this winter: “Aloe you very much,” with these life-like plastic succulents in gorgeous planters, perfect for the plant-love in your life whose thumb is not so green. Available in a wide variety of sizes and planters. $31 at StonesThrow, 1428 Plainﬁeld Ave NE. Stonesthrowliving.com

Cup of Holiday Cheer

Handmade by Geri Mateus Studio in Ada, MI, this charming mug in deep red featuring everyone’s favorite Mitten will warm their holiday spirit while enjoying a cup of hot chocolate, coffee, tea or even a little eggnog. $24.99 at Rylee’s Ace Hardware, 1234 Michigan St NE. Ryleesace.com.

BBQ Sauce

“Love is in the air this holiday season...Oh, wait! That’s barbecue!” There’s nothing like the taste of this sweet, tangy cherry BBQ sauce to spice up holiday dinners this season. $8.49 at Byron Center Meats, 8375 Freeland Ave SW. Byroncentermeats.com

Stylish & Active

Working out never looked so good. Deep black with a meandering, red ﬂoral pattern, this matching set will make the gym bunny in your life the belle of the barre. Grifﬁn Legging ($42) and Hallie Bra ($30) available to LA Miller Boutique, 65 E Bridge St NE, Rockford. Lamillerboutique.com 22

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Fall Arts

GR A N D VA LLEY STATE U N I V ER SIT Y PR ESENTS TH E 16TH A N N U A L

Celebration

Pick Up Your FREE 2019 Grand Rapids Life Calendar

Enr ichin g the A r ts and Humanit ie s in We st Michi gan

Grand Valley’s Fall Arts Celebration features distinguished artists, writers, poets, musicians, and dancers of our time. Please join us this fall for inspiring entertainment that is the hallmark of our signature events.

ART

POETRY

Mars: Astronomy and Culture

An Evening of Poetry and Conversation with Ada Limón and Carl Phillips

EXHIBITION RECEPTION THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 13, 5–7 P.M. ART GALLERY THOMAS J. AND MARCIA J. HAAS CENTER FOR PERFORMING ARTS ALLENDALE CAMPUS

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 18, 7:30 P.M. L.V. EBERHARD CENTER, SECOND FLOOR ROBERT C. PEW GRAND RAPIDS CAMPUS

DANCE

EXHIBITION DATES: AUGUST 24–OCTOBER 31 This exhibition was curated by Pasadena Arts Council for the Williamson Gallery, Art Center College of Design, Pasadena, California. It is a project of the Pasadena Arts Council’s EMERGE Fiscal Sponsorship Program.

MUSIC

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 7:30 P.M. LOUIS ARMSTRONG THEATRE THOMAS J. AND MARCIA J. HAAS CENTER FOR PERFORMING ARTS ALLENDALE CAMPUS

An Italian Journey: Tesla Quartet Performs Tchaikovsky’s Souvenir de Florence

HOLIDAY CELEBRATION

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 7:30 P.M. COOK-DEWITT CENTER ALLENDALE CAMPUS

Celebrating Holiday Splendor: Craig Jessop Conducts The Many Moods of Christmas

LECTURE

William Deresiewicz, Ph.D.: What is Art in the 21st Century? MONDAY, OCTOBER 1, 7:30 P.M. L.V. EBERHARD CENTER, SECOND FLOOR ROBERT C. PEW GRAND RAPIDS CAMPUS

For event details and to view a complete list of sponsors, visit gvsu.edu/fallarts or call (616) 331-2185.

Kariamu and Company: Traditions – A Celebration of African Dance

MONDAY, DECEMBER 3, 7:30 P.M. FOUNTAIN STREET CHURCH 24 FOUNTAIN STREET NE GRAND RAPIDS, MI

This beautiful calendar features photos taken by local photographers and captures the essence of what makes the Grand Rapids area special. Calendars are available at both Heritage Life Story Funeral Home locations.

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Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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Signature

CHEFS AUCTION BY ELYSE WILD | PHOTOGRAPHY BY TWO EAGLES MARCUS

his month brings back to Grand Rapids one of the most delicious and heartwarming events of the year: the March of Dimes Signature Chefs Auction. The evening features 20 of the top chefs in the city’s ever-thriving food scene, offering guests an extensive assortment of gastronomic wonders to enjoy while bidding on exclusive auction packages. Proceeds from the event go toward funding programs, research and services for premature birth in Michigan. This year’s chef lineup includes Oscar Moreno from MeXo, one of Grand Rapids’ newest restaurants; Chris Gribble from CitySen Lounge; Trimmell Hawkins from Forty Acres Soul Kitchen; and one of the city’s most beloved culinary talents, Jenna Arcidiacono, owner and chef of awardwinning Italian eatery Amore Trattoria Italiana. Arcidiacono has participated in the auction for nine years running. Additionally, she is the only woman chef in the lineup. “I love being able to help raise awareness and money for babies and children and families in need,” Arcidiacono expressed. “Every night in the NICU is crucial and expensive. These parents have enough to worry about, so this fundraiser is a blessing.” Premature birth is deﬁned as a birth that occurs before the 37th week of pregnancy, and more babies die from it than from any other health condition; it affects more than 15,000 babies in Michigan each year, or 9.9 percent of all births in the state, higher than the national average of 9.6 percent. Babies who survive premature birth can face numerous short-term and long-term health defects, such as cardiovascular, cognitive, gastrointestinal, blood, immune, metabolism issues and more. The Signature Chefs Auction is a pivotal fundraising event for March of Dimes, as nearly the entire evening is made possible by the benevolence of those involved. The chefs donate their time, talent, staff and supplies;150 volunteers pool their efforts the day of; and more than a dozen sponsors come together to alleviate the cost of production, ensuring the majority of funds raised go directly to the cause.

“We couldn’t do it without everyone who comes together to help,” Nicole Walters, March of Dimes Senior Development Manager, said. “Especially the chefs.” This year’s event takes place in the DeVos Place Steelcase Ballroom, with chefs positioned at stations around the room. Guests roam the room, gathering samplings of special culinary delights and bidding on auction packages, of which Walters says are not to be overlooked. “We have really emphasized offering people experiences as opposed to items,” she commented. March of Dimes Signature Chef events take place in cities across the nation, and the Grand Rapids event consistently ranks in the top ten. To date, the event has raised more than $2 million dollars for the organization. Arcidiacono speaks to the role a wellenjoyed meal plays in the spirit of giving, and how the event gives her and others a platform to give in the best way they know how: through food made with love. “Food feeds the soul and heart,” Arcidiacono reﬂected. “When you feel nurtured and taken care of, often it involves fond memories of food. I believe that we all have a love language and feeding people is mine. The NICU facility and nurses are working 24 hours a day to make sure your child is having the best care possible. That is their love language. Sometimes bringing someone a meal or a treat can turn a person’s day around. It’s the same with fundraising.”

What: Ma rch of Dimes Sig nature Chefs Au ction Where: D eVos Plac e Steelcase Ballroom , 303 Monroe A ve. NW When: No ve 5:30-9 p.m mber12, . Tickets: $ 250 per person. $ 2,0 table of 1 00 for a 0. Signature Purchase at Chefs.co m

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Women’s Consignment Boutique in East Hills. • Antropologie, Talbots, J. Crew, Banana Republic, Free People, Express, & More • Consignment Accepted: Thursday’s, Friday’s and Saturday’s

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un-Bowlievable acai, smoothies, juices, wraps, toasts and more Fruition Acai & Juice Bar • 1405 Lake Dr

BY RENEE FRANKLIN

How to Host a Dinner Party (and Enjoy It)

reat dinner parties don’t just happen — it takes a willing and savvy host to create the magic that makes for an evening for the ages. Whether you are hosting a holiday soirée or having friends over for dinner, follow these simple tips to ensure you, and everyone else, get the most out of the celebration.

Prep Your Space

First things first, decide where in your home you want your party to take place and which areas are off-limits to guests. This ensures you don’t have to go overboard deep cleaning your entire house—just the rooms your party people will use. Stock your bathroom with toilet paper, air fresheners and clean hand towels, and hang a sign so everyone knows where it is. Lastly, designate an area for coats, purses and shoes, whether it’s your front entrance or a landing spot in your living room.

Repurpose Your Decor

As a host, you are opening your home to be enjoyed by your guests. Instead of running out to buy brand new decor, utilize what you already have. Turn an oversized planter into a tub for icing beverages, turn mason jars and glassware into makeshift lanterns with tea candles and use mirrors to plate appetizers.

Set the Mood Music

The right music goes a looooong way in setting—and maintaining—the mood of your party. Now isn’t the time to flaunt your niche music interests; go for something upbeat and universally enjoyed. Think 1960s’ girl groups like The Ronnettes, The Supremes and The Crystals; classic singers like Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald and Dinah Washington; or American R&B like Archie Bell & the Drells, Carl Perkins and Chuck Berry.

Have a Beginning and an End

We all know (or are) that person who shows up fashionably late or exceptionally early. Make your invitations clear with beginning and end time. Give your guests an hour to an hour and a half to arrive before dinner starts. Set your end time to accommodate the enchanting hours after food is digested, the last cocktails are being poured and coffee is ushering intimate conversations, the likes of which can only happen after a dinner party well had.

Forgo Fussy Food

Unless you are hosting an elaborate, multi-course meal, keep the food options simple. Have a couple of appetizers stations (cheese board, anyone?) set up so people can graze until the main event. Keep dinner just as straightforward— pasta, slower cooker roasts or chicken are all foolproof and delicious. For the sides, you can’t go wrong with salads, roasted veggies and rolls. Make it interactive with a taco bar or a pita pizza station where guests play chef as they top pitas with their choices from a slew of ingredients, and enjoy a cocktail while their personal pizzas cook to perfection. Which brings us to our next point:

BYO Drinks

Ask your guests to bring their own alcohol. This saves you the headache of spending time and money catering to different tastes and ensures your guests have exactly what they want to drink. Set up a drink station with an ice bucket, glassware, bottle openers, a place to stash the goods and, most importantly, water. Whether you have the bottled variety available or a carafe of flavored water, keep your guests hydrated and from asking you, “May I have some water?” every time they are thirsty. When dinner concludes, make a pot of coffee and hot water for tea to segway into post-food conversation and lounging — often the best part of a dinner party.

Dessert

Simplicity reigns here. Unless you are a renowned baker treating your guests to your impeccable skills, keep desert light. A bowl of fruit, whipped cream and cookies is more than enough to tie off the dining portion of the evening.

Conversation

Good conversations are the fulcrum of an enjoyable gathering; after food is eaten and cocktails are consumed, the conversations we had and the connections we made will persist in our memories as time goes on. Help the words flow between your guests by facilitating a post-dinner discussion: Have each guest write a question for the group on a piece of paper to draw out of a hat. Push your guests to write queries that will allow them to truly get to know one another, such as, “If you could have any career besides your current one, what would it be?”, “What is one thing you want to accomplish over the next year?”, or “What are you great at?” Scatter these questions throughout the evening and give each guest two minutes to answer.

Keep it Casual

Perfection isn't the goal, but rather, connection. The above tips will cultivate a casual and relaxed atmosphere in which guests will be able to enjoy you, your home and each other.

“Good conversations are the fulcrum of an enjoyable gathering; after food is eaten and cocktails are consumed, the conversations we had and the connections we made will persist in our memories as time goes on.” Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Snackables FALL FOR A FLAVORFUL CHEESE BOARD COURTESY OF FAMILY FEATURES

This recipe combines rich, creamy cheese with prosciutto and pumpkin for a medley of flavors and textures your guests will have a hard time believing are gluten-free. The star is non-GMO Crunchmaster Pumpkin Harvest Crackers, which combine real pumpkin and autumn spices with whole grains and flax seeds.

Serve these little delights on a cheese board and let guests mix and match the flavors as they wish. Then expand your offering with a dairy-free, vegan alternative and introduce another fall favorite like apple butter. Explore more tips and recipes to help celebrate fall at crunchmaster.com.

Pumpkin Prosciutto Stackers 2 ounces prosciutto 1 ounce aged balsamic vinegar (syrupy consistency) 4 ounces gorgonzola 4 ounces aged Parmesan, shaved 1 bag Crunchmaster Pumpkin Harvest Crackers Cut prosciutto into cracker-size pieces, about 1 1/2 inches in diameter.

Apple Pepita Stackers

4 ounces apple butter 1 bag Crunchmaster Pumpkin Harvest Crackers 3 ounces toasted pepitas

12 slivers fresh sage

Spread apple butter over one cracker and sprinkle with pinch of pepitas. Top with sage sliver.

For serving, scoop apple butter into small crock or serving vessel. Place pepitas and sage in serving dishes. Place assembled stacker on platter with crackers. Add serving dishes, if space allows, or position around platter.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Pour vinegar into small carafe or dish with serving spoon. Layer gorgonzola, 1-2 pieces prosciutto and 1-2 pieces shaved Parmesan on one cracker. Drizzle lightly with vinegar. Place on wooden or slate serving platter to serve as inspiration to guests. Plate remaining prosciutto, gorgonzola, Parmesan and crackers on platter before serving and place vinegar nearby.

Everyone I know is looking for solace, hope and a tasty snack.” —Maira Kalman

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Gift Guide

Phone Fashion

This gorgeous leather phone case from Bandolier is the perfect all day, everyday accessory, from a brunch meeting to happy hour. The ﬂawless design features two slots to accommodate credit cards, drivers license and cash. $74 at Studio K, 43 E 8th St #120, Holland. Kstudiohome.com

Perfect Pachyderms

Capture the simple nature of elephants, hippopotamus and rhinoceros in a simple and lovable sculpture made from solid oak. The expression of each animal can change as the head can be tilted to either side. On its own or together, they will bring enjoyment to any room. Available in several sizes ranging from $119 to $179 at Design Quest, 4181 28th St SE. designquest.biz

Find Your Place

The fondest memories are those made gathered around the table. This cheery holiday place mat spices up any holiday table setting Available for $2 at Two Dutch Hens, 2499 84th St SW.

Wine Not

Sip sip, hooray! Wine down this season and decorate your tree right with this wine glass ornament that really says it all. Available for $8 at The Cheese Lady, 315 Fuller Ave NE. Thecheeselady.net

Sew Organized

This bright organizer is perfect for holding all of the essentials supplies for the holiday season: tape for wrapping gifts, scissors for crafting decor or writing utensils for letters to Santa. Available for $10.99 (accessories not included) at Family Sewing, 4950 Wilson Ave SW. Familysewing.com 28

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Let the turkey be the only thing you stuff this year.

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Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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TABLESCAPES: Create More Than Just a Centerpiece

he holidays tend to bring out the creativity in all of us. The usual display pieces we have on our shelves and tables are exchanged for those specific to the occasion. The decorating begins, and our homes take center stage. During this time, the holiday meal becomes particularly important, which means the tabletop needs to look beautiful. Interesting, attractive tabletops should not be confined to the holidays, however. Dining tables, coffee tables, bars, consoles and bedsides can look great throughout the year with just a little "tablescaping." The word itself is attributed to British designer David Hicks who was considered the master of the tablescape. While we generally think that means placing a centerpiece or arrangement of some kind on a table, it actually involves a little more thought and planning. Tablescaping primarily incorporates the entire surface of a table and should consider the surroundings as well. Books, collections, heirlooms or personal keepsakes can all be used when tablescaping. The purpose is to create balance with items that have been chosen with intention. Keeping these simple rules in mind will help you create an eye-catching display: Remember that you only have a certain amount of space to use. While a longer dining table can allow you more freedom

to group and spread out items, smaller spaces like a narrow sofa table or bedside table require less. Be sure to edit if you have too much. Less is more! Consider the size and scale of your table. Small items on a large table won’t be noticed unless you place them in a group or elevate them. Stacked books are a great way to display something small or something unique that you really want to stand out. Additionally, don’t be afraid to add height. Use candlesticks, a taller plant, branches, a vase or a lamp. Tall items add both dimension and depth. On a dining table, be sure to keep in mind the view of your guests across the table. Odd numbers are key! It’s an old rule but groupings of 3,5,7 and 9 are always more pleasing to the eye than using even-numbered objects. Layer your items: Focus on creating a background, a middle ground and a foreground. A nice piece of artwork on the wall behind an entry chest or console can serve as a background. Use color, pattern and texture. Keep your purpose in mind but try mixing patterns in a casual, fun way using light and dark colors, and add items with varied shapes. You can even go for a theme if it works with the rest of the surroundings. Choose your items with intention of trying to create a picture. Often, there are times you want your tabletop

BY LORI MARKS

to have a more formal appearance. Use the holidays as your example. You are creating both an atmosphere and a focal point. If you go formal, use elegant table runners, greenery (it doesn’t always have to be pine branches), tall lanterns, holiday picks with sparkle, flowers and wine glasses with holly springs tucked into them. Tuck tiny, battery operated lights throughout the display for a holiday glow. Add and subtract until you reach the look you want to project. A casual appearance can simply be a small holiday scene using some of your own collectibles. Don’t forget your table setting. Charger plates add a sparkle on your tabletop with your formal look or casual holiday plates keep things fun and bright. Do some research for more ideas and then have fun with it! That’s the beauty of tablescaping—you can be your own artist in all areas of your home throughout the entire year. Lori Marks is a graduate of Michigan State University and a certified graphic designer. She currently works as a designer at Stonesthrow, helping clients redesign and refresh their interior space. To connect with Lori, visit Stonesthrowliving.com

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Dine Together

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Go to GRWineFestival.com for details and hotel packages Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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Gift Guide

Genavieve Planter

This elegant planter will add a dash of whimsy to any indoor or outdoor garden display. Get your own from Kennedy’s Floral and personalize it with whatever ﬂowers make you shine this holiday season. Available for $28 from Kennedy’s Floral, 4665 Cascade Rd SE. Kennedyﬂoral.com

Spa Package

Give the gift of total relaxation with a spa package from Beaubien Bodyworks, complete with a one hour massage, one hour facial and six essential-oils. Available for $189 at Beaubien Bodyworks, 951 Wealthy St SE. Beaubienbodyworks.com

Buffet All Day

"I have far too much storage space," said no one, ever. Flat River Cottage offers a beautiful storage solution with this classic buffet. Available for $425 at Flat River Cottage, 317 E Main St, Lowell. Flatrivercottage.com

Think Pink

Give the gift of warmth this winter with this soft pink hat that will keep your loved one toasty and stylish all season long. Available for $55 at Robinette’s, 3142 4 Mile Rd NE. Robinettes.com

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

The Cheese Lady Grand Rapids 2018

Holiday Open House Friday, November 9, 10am-6pm

Highest quality fresh and frozen local meats including 100% grass-fed beef, all natural chicken and Michigan-raised pork

Friday, November 10, 10am-6pm Saturday, November 10, 9am-4 pm Saturday, November 11, 9am-4 pm

Wide selection of seafood, lamb, venison, bison, and veal Monthly specials and meat bundles to stock your freezers Call ahead with your special order for prime rib, hams, pork crown roasts, tenderloin and more Gift cards and gift boxes available for personal or corporate holiday giving Featuring

Fresh Turkeys from Otto’s Turkey Farm $3.09 /lb for Thanksgiving and Christmas (14-24 pound birds)

Thanksgiving - order by November 9 Christmas - order by December 9

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15% Off Bolga Baskets, French Table Cloths and Butter Bells (in stock only) • Product demonstrations and tastings and Butter Bells (in stock only)

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Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

BY ELYSE WILD | PHOTOGRAPHY BY TWO EAGLES MARCUS

iunderstand:

How Vonnie Woodrick is Revolutionizing Our Understanding of Suicide and Mental Illness “Time doesn’t heal; love heals.” As Vonnie Woodrick shares this truth, her gaze is steady and sincere, and one knows, without a doubt, that experience has led her to this profound conclusion. Fifteen years ago, Woodrick’s husband, Rob, died by suicide after a lifelong struggle with anxiety and depression. Now, the mother of three works to provide support and comfort to those affected by suicide and transform our knowledge of its primary causes with her organization, iunderstand.

The Road of Grief

After her husband passed away, Woodrick was met with the challenge of raising three children as a single parent, leading them as they traversed the long, serpentine road of grief—one that never truly ends. Woodrick describes that with the family’s milestones comes mourning the absence of the father and husband they wish was there to share in their joy. “I feel like our entire life is bittersweet,” Woodrick refl ected. “Because it doesn’t matter where we go or what we do, it’s bittersweet because he isn’t with us. But, I feel like because of the relationships we have established, and the community we have gained through iunderstand has allowed us to be so open.”

“I am doing this for everyone who has lost because it is a painful road. If I can make their day a little brighter, it also heals me. 34

Additionally, she faced abrupt isolation as a result of the social connotations of the circumstances of her husband's death. “We were pushed away from business friends, social friends, and family when we needed them the most,” Woodrick described. “(Suicide) is scary and fearful for a lot of people to talk about.” Isolation can be one of grief’s greatest burdens, and its antithesis — connection — is a facilitator of healing. Through iunderstand, Woodrick is creating connections, conversations and awareness so desperately needed by our community as the suicide rate continues to climb. As reported by the Grand Rapids Press in March of this year, death by suicide in Kent County surpassed a 20-year high in 2017. iunderstand was born four years ago from Woodrick’s continued restlessness at the lack of understanding for mental illness, suicide and those who are left in its wake. She describes lying in bed night after night while the words, “They just don’t understand,” repeated in her mind. As her 50th birthday approached, the idea to form an organization around facilitating understanding to help others heal began to blossom. “I went to my kids because this was going to be an open book,” she said. “ I was turning 50. I said for my 50th birthday, 'I want to make t-shirts that say ‘I Understand. Love Heals.’” Launching iunderstand quickly became a family affair— Woodrick and her children created a Facebook page (which is now approaching 9,000 followers), made a logo and ordered t-shirts.

Since then, the organization has fl ourished, and its impact continues to broaden. During the month of September, Meijer carried iunderstand t-shirts; Celebration Cinema played an iunderstand public service announcement before movie screenings, and Biggby ran a campaign for the organization in 82 locations around the state. At Fountain Street Church, iunderstand hosts monthly support groups (the next one taking place on Nov.21 at 6:30 p.m.); and they provide a full-time clinical nurse support specialist at Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital to educate family, staff and patients on good mental health practices and provide after-care packages; and, the organization was recently named a community partner for this year’s Amway Riverbank Run. “It validates the need for this and warms my heart,” Woodrick expressed. “It proves that this conversation is needed.”

The Power of Language

While iunderstand provides support and comfort, it is also working to utilize the power of language to create a more dynamic understanding of depression and death by suicide — something, Woodrick says, can save thousands of lives — starting with the defi nition of suicide. The dictionary describes it as: the intentional taking of one’s own life; Woodrick is petitioning to change it to: a terminal side effect of mental illness.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

In her own life, she has experienced the transformative power of these defi nitions. “When we look and we focus on this as an illness, there are so many possibilities,” she said. “Rob had an illness, and what we know about illness is that all illnesses are treatable, preventable and can be terminal. So my husband died of a terminal illness. I remember the moment my friend put it in those terms — it brought me so much relief and healing.” As Woodrick discusses what has in part become her life’s mission, one cannot help but notice the grace with which she has emerged from the most absolute darkness to which a person can be subjected: her voice is kind, her eyes are thoughtful and she offers herself and her story completely.

that Woodrick not only saved her life, but saved her family the devastation of losing her. “It’s those comments that I get, the people who say, ‘Thank you for doing this. Thank you for understanding,’ that keeps me going. Whatever we are doing, it’s working, even if it is one person at a time.” To learn more, visit iunderstandloveheals.com.

“I am doing this for everyone who has lost because it is a painful road,” she expressed. “If I can make their day a little brighter, it also heals me.” At the outset of iunderstand, Woodrick created a video in which she shares her story. Shortly after the video was posted, she received an email from a woman telling her

A MEMORIAL FOR VONNIE WOODRICKS HUSBAND, ROB WOODRICK, STANDS AT ROSELLE PARK.

Losing My Dad by Maddie Woodrick

We invited Vonnie Woodrick’s youngest daughter, Maddie, to share her perspective on the effects of suicide and the healing power of understanding. This essay was originally published on iunderstandloveheals.com

There is one thing I have always struggled with: the initial reaction of people when I tell them that not only has my father passed away, but the circumstances that led to his death. I have always dreaded being introduced to new people or my friends' parents, because one of the first questions they ask is, “What does your dad do?” I always respond with the same answer, “He passed away when I was young.” Then they ask the inevitable follow-up question, “How?” I have always considered the word "suicide" to be immensely harsh. It’s just a flat-out ugly word; definitely not a word that a young girl should be so comfortable with while others cower in fear of it.

I know I have missed out on a lot of opportunities that only growing up with a father can present, but it has not deterred from any aspect of my experience growing up. I am a ﬁrm believer that the conventional idea of a family is not the only way to have a family. I am constantly in awe of my mom. Her ability to raise my siblings and me the best way she could is, in my opinion, equal to or better than what two parents are capable of in some circumstances. I don’t care that I’ve never experienced a daddy-daughter dance. I do care that I have been fortunate enough to be raised by an utterly selﬂess woman who is constantly putting the needs of not only her children but countless others before herself.

I have never been embarrassed by how my dad passed away, but I have continued to be frustrated with the negative connotation of his death. I have always been exacerbated with the gape in people’s mouths when they say, “Oooh I’m so sorry…” Anyone who has experienced losing someone to suicide can relate to this because it's quite obvious that the other person has become seriously uncomfortable and has probably even regretted prodding you on such a “horriﬁc” or “traumatizing” experience. I don’t blame them; it’s uncomfortable for both of us. But, it doesn’t have to be.

When iunderstand was founded, I was a bit frightened at ﬁrst. I was scared of what my peers at school would think of me and what they would think about my dad with everything being out in the open. Being an introvert, to me, this was a nightmare. But, I’ll never forget the day when all of my friends and many others wore iunderstand shirts on National Suicide Prevention Day in September. I was overwhelmed with happiness and felt surrounded by support and love. This helped to put everything into perspective for me, knowing there are people who truly do understand and empathize. I urge you to learn more about iunderstand's "Wear, Care, Share" campaign and help to raise awareness in your school, workplace or community. The more we talk, the more we encourage others to share their stories and help those who are living a daily battle with mental illness.

I want people to know that although my dad’s death has affected me, it does not define me. I am not saying I am thankful in any way that my dad died; I would do anything for one last fishing trip or one last afternoon spent watching SpongeBob SquarePants with him, but I wouldn’t be who I am without it. I've had to mature at a very young age, which has been a blessing and a curse. I have a hard time being around my peers that constantly use the terminology “I want to kill myself” or “kill yourself” over menial matters that include homework or other minor stressors. Sometimes I wish my experience on this subject spanned only that far, but I’m glad I am not ignorant in using such phrases so flippantly. I am thankful for how socially aware I have become, regardless of the extent my father has contributed to that.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Maddie Woodrick is currently a freshman at Lake Forest College. She is passionate about adventuring outdoors and advocating for a stigma free community on campus and beyond. Maddie is the daughter of iunderstand Founder, Vonnie Woodrick.

Delicious Desserts MOM’S APPLE PIE

Makes 1 11-inch pie | COURTESY OF MELISSA WILD | PHOTO BY ELYSE WILD

“There is no better way to bring people together than with desserts. —Gail Simmons 2 4-inch ball of Grandma’s Pie Crust (see below) 5 cups apples (Granny Smith, Fuji and Gala) 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1 cup sugar 1 teaspoon cinnamon

edges. Peel and slice apples into medium bowl and lemon juice, stir. Add sugar, cinnamon and floor. Stir and set aside while preparing crust. Set mixture aside and transfer to pie crust. Place remaining crust over filling, trim, seal and flute. Add slits to top of crust.

Preheat oven to 400 F.

Bake at 400 F for ten minutes. Reduce oven temp to 340 F and bake for 35 minute. Cool on rack.

2 teaspoons floor

Set out 2 Grandma’s Pie Crust ball. On a lightly floured surface, roll dough into 1/8-inch thickness. Transfer to 1 crust pie plate and flute

Grandma’s Pie Crust

2 eggs beaten plus water to make 1 cup 5 cups all purpose flour 1 tablespoon 14 ounces of lard

4 ounces butter

Mix flour and salt in a food processor Add lard and butter—pulse into pea sized chunks. Add water and eggs with food processor pulsing just until

mixed. Divide into 4 equal rounds at about 12 ounces each. Chill for 30 minutes. (Balls can be wrapped in plastic and frozen to make ahead.) Tip: Handle crust as little as possible for a flaky of tender crust

COCONUT MACAROONS WITH DRIED CHERRIES Makes 25 to 30 small cookies | COURTESY OF MCC

1 cup unsweetened flaked coconut 1 cup sweetened flaked coconut 8 egg whites salt 1⁄4 cup dried cherries 2 tablespoons butter 1 tablespoon honey, preferably orange blossom honey Preheat the oven to 350 F. Combine the unsweetened and sweetened coconut on a baking sheet. Lightly toast in the oven for 5 to 10 minutes. Keep close watch so the mixture does not burn, though you do want a nice toasted golden brown color. Remove from the oven and set aside to cool. Reduce the oven temperature to 325 F. (If using a convection oven, leave at 350 F.) Whip the egg whites with a pinch of salt in a medium bowl until the whites stiffen into firm peaks. Fold the toasted coconut into the egg white mixture.

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Drop tablespoon-size rounds, perhaps using a small ice cream scoop, of the coconut mixture onto the baking sheet. Press one or two dried cherries into the top of each macaroon. Melt the butter and honey together in a microwave on high for 20 seconds. Drizzle the mixture over the top of each macaroon. Sprinkle with a tiny pinch of salt. Bake the macaroons for 20 to 25 minutes, until lightly browned (watch carefully to avoid burning), or for 8 to 10 minutes if using a convection oven. The macaroons should be dry to the touch. You may need to bake them longer if it is a humid day. If you live in a dry area, these will keep well for a week. If you want to be really fancy, melt some chocolate and dip each one halfway into it.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

THURSDAY

Stroll around Uptown or hop on one of our free shuttles for a unique and festive holiday shopping atmosphere! Join us as we bring in the holidays! uptowngr.com @ UptownGR

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

More Snackables CHOCOLATE HUMMUS

Makes about 1 1/2 cups | Gluten free, grain free, dairy free, soy free, vegan BY DANEA MATHER | PHOTOS BY OF AUGUST NYSON

1 15.5 ounce can chickpeas, 1/4 cup cocoa powder 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1/2 cup maple syrup

Add all ingredients to a food processor and blend on high until completely smooth. Taste and adjust flavors as you like. Cool and store in refrigerator.

SALTED DATE CARAMEL SAUCE Makes 1 cup | Gluten free, grain free, dairy free, soy free, vegan BY DANAE MATHER | PHOTOS COURTESY OF AUGUST NYSON

1 cup Medjool dates 4 tablespoons maple syrup 1/2 cup hot water + more for soaking

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

In a small bowl, soak dates in very hot water for at least five minutes. Once soaked, remove pits and add dates to a food processor. Add in 1/2 cup hot water, maple syrup and salt.

Processes on high until completely smooth, at least 1-2 minutes. Serve right away or store in refrigerator for later. This sauce is a universal dairy-free topping for ice cream, baked goods or just on a spoon, but is best served alongside Chocolate Hummus with pretzels for dipping.

VEGAN CHEESE WHEELS

Gluten free, grain free, dairy free, soy free, vegan Makes 1 White Sesame and Black Pepper wheel and 1 Yellow Cheddar wheel BY DANEA MATHER | PHOTOS BY OF AUGUST NYSON

You won’t miss the “real thing” with these incredible vegan cheese wheels and neither will your guests. In fact, they won’t be able to tell the difference and will be doling out compliments on the beautiful presentation and flavor combinations! Serve simply with your favorite table crackers or dress them up with dried cranberries and apricots, sliced green apples and a drizzle of agave.

2 8-ounce round ramekins 1 cup cashews, soaked overnight 1/4 cup nutritional yeast 2 garlic cloves 1 1/2 tablespoons arrowroot or tapioca starch 1 1/2 tablespoons agar agar powder juice of 1 lemon 1 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon onion powder

1 cup water, split

white sesame seeds cracked black pepper 1/2 teaspoon turmeric powder for

yellow cheddar

Coat both ramekins generously with spray oil. Add a coating of white sesame seeds and freshly cracked black pepper to bottom and sides of one ramekin. Set ramekins aside. Mix agar agar and 1/2 cup of water together. Set aside. Add cashews, nutritional yeast, garlic cloves, arrowroot/tapioca starch, lemon juice, salt and onion powder to a high-speed blender

Pulse and blend until completely smooth. Slowly stream in water while blending. Add agar agar mix to a wide pan and turn heat to medium-high. Add blended ingredients to a pan and whisk together. Bring to a simmer and continue whisking until the sauce becomes thick like a batter and resistant to the whisk. Once thickened, place half of the mix into the sesame seed and black pepper coated ramekin. Whisk turmeric powder into the remaining mix and add this to the second ramekin. Tap both ramekins gently on the counter to remove any air and settle the mixture. Cover and place in the refrigerator until completely cooled and hardened, minimum 2 hours When ready to serve, turn ramekin upside down on a plate or cutting board. Gently tap down and rotate until the cheese wheel loosens and comes out. Serve with your choice of crackers and garnishes.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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S K N DRI DAN with

he Harvest Cocktail combines unsuspecting ingredients for an outstandingly delicious result, best enjoyed during the coziest of seasons!

RECIPE AND PHOTOGRAPHY BY DANIEL PARKER

Ingredients

1 1 2 1/2 1/2 1

ounce cold brew coffee ounce rosemary brown sugar simple syrup ounces vodka ounce lime juice ounce orange juice teaspoon pumpkin puree dash of Angostura Bitters

Shake over ice, strain and serve!

Rosemary Simple Syrup

Add two cups water to one cup brown sugar in a saucepan. Bring to a boil. Add a few sprigs of rosemary. Return to boil for one minute, remove from heat and let steep (1-4 hours) Strain and store refrigerated in an airtight container.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

BY KAYLA SOSA | PHOTOS COURTESY OF GRACI HARKEMA

Serving Others: A Q&A with Ray and Jayn Harkema

hirty-fi ve years ago, Ray and Jayn Harkema lives changed forever. After attending an informational meeting, they felt called to be Christian missionaries in Africa. They had four children at the time, and pretty soon the entire family packed up and moved to the Democratic Republic of the Congo, where they stayed for four years. During that time, they adopted their daughter Graci, an orphan with a life expectancy of mere hours. Graci survived and thrived in the care of the Harkemas and has grown to be a vital advocate for the LGBT community in Grand Rapids. She has since gone back to visit her biological mother in the Congo. Today, Ray and Jayn spend six months out of the year in the Congo, continuing the work they feel called to do. Before they left on their most recent trip, they gave us inspiring insight into their lives of service and dedication to others. WLM: What kind of work did you do in the Congo the fi rst time you went in the ‘80s? Ray Harkema: We were in what was called a support position. We had Bible translators in the mission, along with medical people in the mission, clinics, printing press and translators. Jayn Harkema: And teachers. RH: They needed people who could do practical things. I am mechanically inclined and able to repair anything, so I kept everybody’s cars, motorcycles and houses going at that time. J: I was a support person in that we had various missionaries in the jungle in different places where they couldn’t get food— or anything, really. At that time, we had only radio contact. We had a mission plane, a six-seater; they would give me lists of groceries they needed, and I would buy it, weigh it and bring it to the plane. I also was a teacher. I taught classes and went to the prison. And of course, everything changed while we were there. The Internet came into being. Cell phones weren’t in existence when we left; when we came home they were. When we left, computers were big things for businesses; when we came home they were for individuals. Life changed so much in the four years we were gone, it was very diffi cult to fi nd our place here when we returned.

WLM: What kind of work are you doing now? J: We’re involved with all kinds of things, but the mission that we’re with now has a house called Tracy’s Heart. It’s a foundation for women who have been raped, abused and forced into prostitution. People can’t afford to keep their children, so they force them into prostitution at age 12. And many of them have died. At Tracy’s Heart, women spend every day for an entire year learning. First of all, they learn they’re loved. They have no value; once you’ve been raped or abused, you can’t go home, because you're not accepted in their village. They’re marginalized women who have no life, and we teach them that they’re valued and loved. We train them in a trade. After a year of learning their trade, we give them a gift. For instance, if they learn to sew with a sewing machine, we give them a sewing machine, and they start a business. There are other things that we train them to do as well so that they can run their own business, get their own place eventually and feed their children. We had a graduation ceremony just before we left this last time. One by one they’re given a certifi cate and whichever gift they get to start their business. I was sitting in the audience before I gave out the gifts, and I watched some of these (women) march by who had never been celebrated before on any level; now they’re celebrated, and they know they’re loved. They have an opportunity to build a business that will allow them to take care of themselves and their children. R: We have a portable sawmill to cut boards that was brought over by missionaries before us, and we’re trying to get that project going where we hire people to cut the trees down, cut them into boards and sell them. When we go back we’re going to try get that sawmill up and running. J: I’ve been asked to start a school for orphans. That’s a real challenge for me because that’s going to take some funds. I’m going to have to look up foundations and grants and all of that. So when I go over, one of my main jobs is to explore the feasibility: how to fi nd a place, how to raise funds and create a school. Of all the people we know, everyone has taken in one, two, even three orphans because of so many deaths of parents. They may be able to send their biological kids, but they have no money to send orphans to school. I’m so thrilled almost everybody who works for us

has taken in orphans. I think that’s amazing, especially when they have almost nothing themselves. WLM: What are the conditions like in the Congo? J: The people are warm and caring and happy. They live in such poverty. To our (American) way of thinking, they have more peace and happiness without any reason. They’re beautiful people: wonderful, warm, entrepreneurial, and they do what they have to do to survive. It’s a very diffi cult life. R: There’s probably 95 percent employment. So when we’re there, we hire a number of people and they’re just so grateful because they have a wage that they wouldn’t have otherwise. WLM: How has spending so much time in a thirdworld country affected your worldview? J: We’re not the same people. World events are more important to us. It was amazing to us to never fi nd news about any country in Africa on our news stations. We had to go looking for it. R: The big thing is we realize that the world is bigger than the U.S., but the U.S. infl uences the whole world. When you’re over there, they know what’s going on here. If there’s a hurricane or a typhoon or earthquake in different parts of the world, we kind of know what that’s like because it affects real people, just like the people here, and they need real support. A lot of people, when they grow up in the U.S., they don’t even hear about it, they don’t care about it; they just live in Grand Rapids, or wherever they are, and only worry about their little part of the world. WLM: Why did you decide to dedicate your lives to giving to others? J: We knew we were called. Of course, I said we have this God thing going on, and He gives us desires. He opens the doors to make those things happen. So, for us that’s the bottom line. Wealth is not mere money; it’s purpose and destiny. When you have purpose, and you know your destiny, life is good. Life is really good.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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The Summit by Due North Catering • Right next to Timbers Inn in Rockford 6585 Belding Rd., Suite 2A • (616) 901-8789 • www.duenorthcatering.com Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Keeping a Keepsake:

How Proper Storage Preserves Your Special Clothing for Generations to Come

beautiful dress is a time capsule—a centerpiece of significant occasions throughout the life of the person who wears it. It defines their mood, character and personality as much as a portrait could. It captures a time and a place. To find a special dress that has withstood the test of time is an intensely personal and magical thing, because, in a way, you can meet that person as they were all those years ago. You might have found your grandmother’s homecoming dress in an attic one time and been disappointed to find it was damaged beyond repair. It was stored hanging on a metal hanger with the silk shattered and beads missing. The stain from that fruit punch incident has caused the chiffon to become dry and it tears at the slightest touch. Moisture has caused the bright colors to bleed and mildew stains the entire hem. Oh, to see it in its original glory! This is why it would do a great service to our future generations to properly care for and store our beautiful gowns— so they may be brought back to life and enjoyed for all tomorrows parties. A good vintage dress that is in excellent condition is an amazing finds; for it to be wearable with only minor cleaning or repairs is truly a treasure. It does not take extravagant measures to preserve a gown, and whatever investment you make to extend its life are multiplied in value.

BY ELISSA SPYKER

To begin, it is most important to professionally clean a gown after wearing. Perfume, body oils and accidental stains can disintegrate the fabric over time or cause it to yellow.

“A good vintage dress that is in excellent condition is one of those amazing finds; for it to be wearable with only minor cleaning or repairs is truly a treasure.

After your dress is cleaned, you might be tempted to leave it in the bag on the hanger, but this will cause stress on the shoulders over time that will cause stretching or tearing, especially in heavier gowns.

If you have a zippered sweater bag handy, that will work well to store your dress. If not, a plastic bin with a lid works well, too. Carefully fold the dress in half widthwise. Wrap with acid-free tissue paper, particularly into areas that may crease and areas that have beading or detail work so it will not snag the neighboring fabric. Place tissue paper anywhere the fabric touches to prevent any friction or color transfers. Acid-free tissue paper is easily purchased online for less than ten dollars and is an essential part of preserving your dress. You can also use silica gel packets inside the bin to keep out moisture, as this can cause discoloration. Store in a climate controlled area away from light and heat sources. Attics can be cold and dry and cause fabric to become brittle, and basements are too humid and cause smells. A closet or under the bed is best. If you don’t plan on wearing your gown ever again and want to pass it down through your family, adding a personal item like your necklace, a hair ornament or a linen sachet with a spritz of the perfume you wore that evening will truly turn your dress into a time capsule. If cared for properly, a gown can withstand the test of time and become a treasure for those who come after us. As the holidays draw near, and we put on our fancy dresses, make sure to glance ahead to the future and save a snapshot of ourselves for the coming world to see.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

1-800-CARSTAR • www.carstar.com Since 1958 • Rockford • Plainfield Ave • 76th St

• D E TA I L I N G • B O D Y R E PA I R • R E S T O R AT I O N • M O T O R H O M E S • A U T O G L A S S • C A R R E N TA L

BY KERRY HART, LLMFT

Positive Co -Parenting

oday, more than 50 percent of parents are raising their children with their ex. Whatever went down between you and your former partner, if you have kids in the mix, you must develop an amicable relationship (if you don't have one already) to make sure your child's needs are being met. Unless there are instances of domestic violence or substance abuse, it’s best for the child that both parents have an active role in their lives. Putting aside any long-standing issues and working together as co-parents, while easier said than done, has shown a decrease in levels of depression and anxiety in children whose parents are no longer together.

Effective Communication

This can often be the most challenging issue coparents face based on the history of their relationship. When tensions run high, it may not be possible to communicate verbally with your former partner. You may find that putting everything in writing is your best bet, particularly when your co-parent changes truths or events to benefit themselves. Keeping everything in writing leaves a record so you can both fact check. It can also be easier to walk away from an argument taking place over text or email rather than over the

phone or face to face. Most importantly, it’s unlikely your child will witness an uncomfortable interaction should important issues be discussed exclusively in writing.

Keep to the Schedule

Often parents will try to rearrange their child’s schedule to suit their own needs—this generally has an adverse effect on the child and sends a bad message to your co-parent. In a world where your kids have so few choices, not having a reliable schedule can be detrimental. Trying to change things on your co-parent sends a message of disrespect of that you believe your schedule and needs to be more important than theirs. This can result in a lot of resentment, particularly if the requests are continuous and consistent.

Keep it Positive

Speaking negatively about your co-parent in front of or to your child will cause lasting damage. Children are innately loyal to their parents. When those parents are at odds with each other, the child will feel confused with emotions they may not be mature enough to explain or cope with. Once the child learns of the truth of this pattern, they will learn to not trust the parent who is saying such things.

Keep in mind that your children are people as well. They are little people who are relying on you to make sure their needs are met. They should not bear witness to any arguments or negative talk. They are entitled to have a schedule and parents they can rely on. Set a healthy example for your children by modeling what a cooperative relationship looks like so they can learn to cultivate them in their own lives.

“Set a healthy example for your children by modeling what a cooperative relationship.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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Intuitive / Psychic Readers ~ Reiki and Energy Therapy The Rev. Vivian Love Kyle • Intuitive Angel Reader

Intuitive artist and counselor who channels messages from the angelic realm. Her clients receive insights and guidance from those entities and spirits with which they are surrounded. Vivian is a 5th generation medium who continues the legacy as teacher, spiritual counselor, and healer. www.loveisvictorious.com

Eugenia Marve • Psychic • Medical Intuitive • Medium

Awarded educator, workshop facilitator, Psychic over 45 years. Gives clients information about relationships, economics, health and those not present. International and national phone or Skype readings available. God is her foundation. www.marvecreations.com

Margaret Newman Nickelsen • Psychic Reader

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Over 40 years experience reading for people from all walks of life. Each reading is unique, personal, in an atmosphere of calm assurance. Margaret is a certified Spiritual Director. Your Divine Self guides your reading. www.jokersjourney.com

Beth Ann Townsend • Traditional Healing & Educator

Beth offers Craniosacral, Reiki, Traditional Healing Modalities and Energy Therapies creating an integrative approach to wellness. She has studied and practiced with Traditional Elders for over 35 years. www.healingtraditionsgr.com

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1430 Lake Drive SE • Grand Rapids, MI 49506 • www.spiritdreamsgr.com HOURS: M-F 10-6 • Wed 10-7 • Sat 10-5 • Sun 11-4

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Learn about Alaska & the Yukon from the people who know it best! SHOP KENNEDY’S HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE NOVEMBER 8, 9 & 10

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Holland America Line’s exciting On Stage Alaska® event features an entertaining & informative presentation by experts who have lived and worked in Alaska! Catch a glimpse into the state’s remarkable history, scenery, and wildlife— including awe-inspiring Denali National Park and the Yukon’s spectacular wilderness.

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4665 Cascade Rd SE • (616) 956-6747 • kennedyfloral.com Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

*Some restrictions may apply.

READER’S MEREDITH SCHICKEL

Tragedy plus time: a tragicomic memoir by Adam Cayton-Holland

There is an old adage, “Tragedy plus time equals comedy.” In this darkly funny and heartrending memoir, we see the impact that a tragedy can have on an entire family. Just as Adam Cayton-Holland is getting his comedy career going, his youngest sister Lydia commits suicide. Through this candid account of mental illness and loss, we see a family struggling to contain its grief, and finding themselves become even closer because of it.

The Little Book of Feminist Saints by Julia Pierpont

This inspiring, beautifully illustrated collection honors one hundred exceptional women throughout history and from around the world. From Marie Curie, to Oprah to Malala Yousafzai, this little book celebrates the many women who fought to break down the barriers of traditional gender roles. No matter your perspective, you will be sure to discover more about these trailblazers and see how they will continue to empower future generations.

Heart Berries: a Memoir by Terese Marie Mailhot

After a highly dysfunctional upbringing on the Seabird Island Indian Reservation in British Columbia, Terese Marie Mailhot is diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Bipolar II Disorder. Much of the book was written in a series of notebooks she wrote in while living in a psychiatric institution. Through these stylistic and poetic essays, she struggles to free herself from past trauma, and is able to find a path toward healing.

You are on an Airplane by Parker Posey

Indie movie queen Parker Posey, recounts her memoirs as if speaking to a person seated next to her on a plane. In this delightful memoir, she tells of her experiences growing up in Texas, filming movies such as “Dazed and Confused,” “Best in Show,” and my personal favorite, “Party Girl,” and living in New York with her dog. We see her quirky sense of humor and artistic style come through the stories and art collages peppered throughout the book.

Meredith is an Adult Librarian at the Byron Township branch of Kent District Library. She usually hates to finish a book because she gets emotionally attached to the characters.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

You’re invited!

NOVEMBER 7 BIRTHDAY PARTY

We are turning one! Stop by our Birthday celebration and receive 10% off products, enter contests, bring home grab bags (while supplies last), and enjoy cocktails and light refreshments

NOVEMBER 20 HOLIDAY PARTY

5:30-8 Celebrate the holidays with us! Receive 10% off products, enjoy door prizes (while supplies last), enter contests, and enjoy a holiday cocktail bar and light refreshments

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has become Need some gift inspiration? We’ve got that! • Aromatic Candles from Milkhouse Candles, Kalamazoo Candle Company

Need decorating ideas? We can help! • Beautiful Life-like Christmas Trees

• Scented Soaps and Lotions from Michel Design and Harbor View Lavender Farm • Room Sprays and Potpourri from Aromatique • Delicacies from Stonewall Kitchen

• Natural and Life-like Wreaths and Garland

FOSTER A PET

Tyson’s Place Animal Rescue assists terminally ill people with finding new families for their pets. You can provide an animal a loving and comfortable home during their time of transition.

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Christmas Land! We can help you make your Christmas

Holidazzling! Mingle, Tingle: An Evening of Lights Christmas Open House

Nov. 9 at the Alpine Flowerland 6-9PM Nov. 16 at the Kentwood Flowerland 6-9PM For details, go to myflowerland.com/upcoming-events

• Unique Ornaments • Inspiring Table-scape Santas, Reindeer and more

Stop in today and be Holidazzled! Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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Hoopla Kids Upscale Resale + Parties 4060 29th Street SE Grand Rapids, MI 49512 (616) 288-7574

Regenerate- A Thrift Shop 4390 Chicago Dr SW Grandville, Michigan (616) 647-5342 Hours: Mon- Thurs 10:00-6, Fri 10-5 Sat 10-3

Kids upscale resale boutique including fun-filled classes and parties for your child. Accepting like-new children’s clothing. Second Dance 321 Division Ave. SE (616) 240-7938 Hours: T, Th 12-7, WF 11-6 Sat 10-5 Specializing in upscale formalwear, find bridal, bridesmaid, mother of, school dance dresses such as prom and homecoming, and formal accessories. seconddancegr.com Style Encore 2650 East Beltline Ave. SE (616) 957 2533 Hours: Mon-Sat 10-8, Sun 12-5 At Style Encore you will be able to shop for amazing brands and designer wear for up to 70% off retail. Plus, they pay cash on the spot for your gently used women’s casual and business clothing, accessories and handbags.

7-night Caribbean Cruises from Miami

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Red Door Consignment 6837 Lake Michigan Dr. (616) 895-2667 Hours: Tue-Fri 11-6, Sat 11-4 Enjoy a vast collection of new, repurposed, consigned, vintage and antique items including furniture, home decor, clothing and accessories. Every budget deserves great design! Find us on facebook, facebook.com/ thereddoorconsignmentallendalemi

Gild the Lily 450 East Division (616) 863-8491 Hours: Mon-Fri 10-7, Sat 10-4

GR Northeast

Her iconic design is awe-inspiring. Her spectacular amenities are like no other. That’s why MSC Seaside was awarded “Best New Cruise Ship” by Cruise Critic, the world’s leading cruise reviews site. Stroll the sun-kissed waterfront boardwalk and marvel at the unique glass catwalks. Sip bubbly in the Champagne Bar surrounded by the grand glass atriums. Enjoy world-class dining, rejuvenate in the largest Balinese spa at sea and see a different spectacular show every night of your cruise.

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We accept all seasons any time. No appointment necessary. styleencoregrandrapids.com

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Come explore treasures old and new. Find your new favorite work dress, the home decor you didn’t know you were missing, and the vintage piece that completes your wardrobe. regeneratethrift.com

Mission India Super Thrift 2146 Plainfield Ave. NE (616) 361-7411 Hours: Mon, Tues, Wed, Fri. 10-5, Thursday 10-7:30, Saturday 10-2 Indulge the inner thrifter in you and shop at our “hidden gem” of a store! We have been described as an upscale, boutique store with great pricing on furniture, clothing, and other household items. Special Sales! Special Mission! facebook.com/mist/2146 Memory Lane Consignment Boutique 4318 Plainfield Suite F (616) 780-0693 Hours: Tue-Fri 11-6, Sat 11-4

Two floors of fresh fashion for your home and body at “get it now” prices. Formal wear, plus, petite and designer departments. Consign or get cash without appointment Monday to Friday. shopgildthelily.com Resale Republic 41 Courtland Drive (616) 884-0535 Hours: Mon-Fri 10-8, Sat 10-6, Sun 10-5 Resale inspiration for the hip and trendy. Furniture reinvented. Fashion reinvented. shopresalerepublic.com

Ada

New location featuring entire lower level of furniture and home decor. Now selling and buying (by appointment) Chico’s items. We pay our consignors 50 % and don’t charge extra fees. Quality, contemporary fun! New items arriving daily! Find us on facebook. facebook.com/ memorylaneconsignmentboutique

Georgie’s Consignment Clothing 7504 Thornapple River Drive (616) 676-1869 Hours: TWF 10-6, Th 10-8, Sat 10-4 Accepting everything from Gap to Gucci and you get 50% instead of only 40%. No appointment necessary. georgiesconsignment.com

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

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Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

3 East 8th Street | (616) 396-3966 Visit our new location - silverfoxjewelryholland.com 49

Shining Light on a Pain-Free Life:

Meet Prism Pain Relief

e don’t realize how much we use a part of our body until it starts to hurt. While medication exists to help manage pain, sometimes the adverse side effects outweigh the beneﬁts or the medication simply isn’t enough to fully treat the pain. Enter Prism Pain Relief, an emerging pain relief clinic in Grand Rapids that hopes to change the way we manage pain. Prism Pain Relief is a high power, deep tissue laser therapy clinic and is the ﬁrst of its kind in Grand Rapids. How exactly does a laser help with pain? Brian Butzier, Laser Technician at Prism Pain Relief Centers, explains, “The process starts with focusing visible and near-infrared light energy into enzymes within your cells. Our laser apparatus utilizes its devoted handpiece which causes the light to condense or focus and makes it possible to use effective wavelengths for maximum results. We are lucky to have the ability to choose between the most effective wavelengths.” The infrared light energy causes a reaction that helps the body heal itself.

sports. The laser can also be used as a preventative option, using the laser to support your body and optimize health. A little extra bonus? When applied to the scalp, the laser is said to stimulate hair growth.

“With the inﬂammation and pain gone, I’m able to grip things easier. —Annemarie Anderson

“When shining the light energy to a localized area, the light penetrates deep into the tissues of the body, causing an effect known as vasodilation,” Butzier divulged. “This term means the light will actually open up your veins and capillaries to let more blood ﬂow happen — in with the good, out with the bad. The blood itself is a vessel to rid the body of toxins, wastes, and unhealthy cells as well as mitigates inﬂammation.”

The team works under a licensed doctor and are fully certified laser technicians using only a 100 percent FDA cleared laser. On your first appointment, the team will have you fill out a form to make sure that any of your current habits or medications won’t negatively interfere with the laser treatment. When it’s time to enter the laser room, you will be asked to put on a pair of glasses that will protect your eyes from the light. Then, the treatment begins.

The laser therapy can address pain problems for people who engage in all levels of activity, from those that are bedridden to those that have pain injuries from intense

Annemarie Anderson, who has had rheumatoid arthritis for more than 20 years, tried out the laser therapy to see if some of her pain could be alleviated. After about

BY SARAH ANDERSON

nine treatments, Anderson was happily surprised at some of the benefits she is still experiencing months later. She described regaining mobility in her elbow after the treatments. “I can reach again,” she commented. Anderson also saw a reduction in inflammation and pain in the joints of her hands. Additionally, she experienced increased use and decreased pain in her hands. “With the inflammation and pain gone, I’m able to grip things easier," she expressed. "Actually, a lot of times at the end of the day my fingers would hurt and they didn’t. It really took care of the pain in my knuckles.” She described the laser treatment as painless and noninvasive with absolutely no discomfort, and all she could feel was a slight warmth in the area it was being applied. Would she recommend it to someone experiencing pain? “Yes, I would encourage someone to try it.”

Sarah shufﬂes between editorial support, content production and advertising sales at WLM. She loves her job so much, and isn’t just saying that to impress her boss.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

SOCIAL SEEN EVENT & PARTY PICS

See more at WomensLifeStyle.com

Hope on the Hill • Van Andel Institute • October 25th, 2018 • Van Andel Institute

Wine, Women & Chocolate • Women’s Resource Center • October 4th, 2018 • Cascade Hills Country Club

Do you have an event that you think we should be at? Submit your request at womenslifestyle.com/photos Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Taming Jealousy

hile many of us understand jealousy, it can difficult to pinpoint it to just one emotion. Jealousy can manifest in different ways, such as grief, rage or an expression of insecurity. It can show up in our lives when we see our former partner make a connection with someone new or everyone around you is getting engaged, and you’re still single. Unfortunately, jealously is something that never goes away, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change the way you experience it. Envy is often a flag of where our insecurities lie, but much like an iceberg, it isn’t always easy to see the entire thing. Once jealousy comes into the picture, it can be difficult to dive down and see what the root of the problem is. For instance, when your ex starts seeing someone new, cue the jealousy! Are you really upset that they have someone new? Or is it a reflection of your insecurity? Maybe you feel like you are inadequate because they are with someone, and you are flying solo. It can be problematic to let jealously permeate and sour your life, so here are some tips to fight back. When you start to confront envy and how it manifests in your life, you can start to break it down and clearly define what it means to you. Yes, jealousy can hurt, but if you lean in and feel it, and resolve not to act on it,

you can begin to lessen its power over you. During this time of introspection, it’s essential to be kind to yourself. Journaling is a great way to list all of the ways jealously emerges in your life. Try to discern whether it is desperation, anxiety, feelings of being worthless, ugly or simply lost. Don’t feel like you have to traverse this landscape alone. Reach out to your tribe and talk about these concerns.

Why do we feel jealousy? Therapists often regard the demon as a scar of childhood trauma or a symptom of a psychological problem. And it's true that people who feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent tend to be more jealous than others.” —Helen Fisher, anthropologist, researcher and selfhelp author

BY MEGAN STUBBS

Try to learn what your triggers are, whether they are social media platforms or the comparison game (“So and so has it so easy! Why is my life so hard?”) Insecurity and jealously often go hand in hand. Once you start to do the work to lessen the power jealously holds over you, you will regain some serious personal power. Tapping into that power and learning to love yourself without the validation of another is a great attribute to add to your life and future relationships. Keep in mind that while you are traversing this space, you are bound to make mistakes. There is no one way to navigate unlearning jealousy; as your foundation gets stronger, the more self-reliant you will become and learn to have validation within yourself. We all experience envy, but it doesn’t have to be a crippling feeling or perceived character flaw. Chances are that when you confront jealousy, it becomes a much more manageable emotion than you feared it to be. Dr. Megan Stubbs is a Sexologist, the job you never saw on career day. For insightful tips or a good laugh, find her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and SexologistMegan.com

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

SOCIAL SEEN EVENT & PARTY PICS

See more at WomensLifeStyle.com

Step Up for Down Syndrome • Down Syndrome Association of West Michigan • September 22, 2018 • Fifth Third Ballpark

Vitality Gala • Metro Health Foundation September 29, 2018 • DeVos Place

Heart Walk & Scrub Run • West Michigan American Heart Association • September 29, 2018 • Fifth Third Ballpark

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

NovemberEvents

Mondays

Comedy Outlet Mondays. Experimental comedy hub in the heart of downtown Grand Rapids. Dog Story Theater. All ages, $6 tickets. 7-8 pm. Dogstorytheather.com Studio Night at Grand Rapids Brewing Company. Artists, writers, musicians and creators are invited to the brewery’s back room to work on their own projects among accessible collaboration from fellow creatives. 25% discount for all who participate. Grand Rapids Brewing Company. 6-11 pm. Grbrewingcompany.com

Tuesday

Team Trivia at the Curragh. Curragh Irish Pub. 9 pm. Downtownholland.com Taco Tuesday. CitySen Lounge at City Flats Hotel. 4 pm. Downtownholland.com Thrift Store Trivia. Holland Brewing Company. 7 pm. Downtownholland.com

Open Mic Night. The Holland Park. 7:30 pm. Downtownholland.com

Wednesday

Cooking Class. Fustini’s of Holland. 12 pm. Downtownholland.com/events

Thursday

Open Mic Night at 8th Street Grille. Join 8th Street Grille for Open Mic Night every Thursday. It kicks off with soft acoustic music at 7 pm with Mark Swanson, and then open the mic to you! Come down for a drink, some apps, and some great music. Bring your instrument to sign up and play, or just bring yourself to listen. 8thstreetgrille.com

Nov 1 & 15

Wall Tapestry Weaving. Light Gallery GR. 6-9 pm. Lightgallerygr.com

Nov 1-31

Grand Rapids Public Museum Membership Exchange. This month, the UICA and the Grand Rapids Public Museum Members enjoy reciprocal benefits the entire month.

Starting Nov. 1, enjoy a number of benefits at either museum just for being a member. Uica.org

Various times and locations. Experiencegr.com

Nov 2-3

The Pigeon Creek Shakespeare Company Presents “As You Like It.” All ages, $8-$14 tickets. Dog Story Theater. Nov 9, 10, 16 & 17, 8 pm; Nov 11 & 18, 3 pm. Dogstorytheater.com

GR Symphony Presents Bernstein’s 100th. DeVos Performance Hall. 8 pm. Grsymphony.org

Nov 3 & 4

Healing Body, Mind & Spirit Expo. Deltaplex. 10-7 pm. Deltaplex.com

Nov 6-Dec 23

Holiday Artists Market. The annual LowellARts Holiday Artists Market features artwork by over 50 area artists. Lowell, MI. Tues-Sat 10-6 pm; Sunday 12-5 pm. Lowellartsmi.org

Nov 7-18

Cocktail Week Join the fun as Michigan’s creative beverage capital celebrates the art of the craft cocktail. Sample the handiwork of the area’s leading bartenders. Savor the unique flavors of made-in-Grand Rapids artisanal spirits. And share your enthusiasm for cocktail culture with fellow aficionados.

Nov 9, 10, 11, 16, 17 & 18.

Nov 9 - Jan 6

Modern Holidays Artisan Market. This invitational holiday market offers home decor, fine jewelry, eclectic gifts, original artwork, holiday items, personal accessories and more. Free and open to the public at Design Quest. 10 am-8 pm Mon, Thu, Fri; 10 am-6 pm Tue, Wed, Sat; 1-5 pm Sun. Designquest.biz

Nov 9-11

GR Symphony Presents Sinatra and Beyond. DeVos Performance Hall. Fri & Sat 8 pm. Sun 3 pm. Grsymphony.org (continued on page 56)

Clara’s Nutcracker Party 12.16.18 11am

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Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

JOIN US FOR THE

Signature Chefs Auction WHEN

Monday, November 12, 2018 5:00 p.m. — Live Music by The Steve Hilger Jazz Band, Cuisine Tasting & Silent Auction 7:00 p.m. — Live Auction WHERE

Steelcase Ballroom at DeVos Place, 303 Monroe Ave. NW, Grand Rapids, MI 49503 Featuring Chefs from Amore Trattoria Italiana • Butchers Union • Charley’s Crab • CitySen Lounge • Cygnus 27 • Forty Acres Soul Kitchen Grove • MeXo • New Holland Brewing Company • One Trick Pony • Reserve Wine & Food • Rockwell Republic Sandy Point Beach House • Slows Bar BQ • Social Kitchen & Bar • Terra • The Chop House The Sovengard • YoChef’s Catering Company • Zoko822 $250 Per Person • $2,000 Per Table of Ten ($200 of ticket price is tax deductible as a charitable contribution) C O N TAC T

CHRISTMAS

AND HOLIDAY TRADITIONS AROUND THE WORLD

essage from Buddy the elf: "I planned out our whole day: First, we'll make snow angels for two hours, and then we'll go ice skating, and then we'll eat a whole roll of Toll-House cookie dough as fast as we can, and then to finish, we’ll snuggle.” We’ve all seen the classic scene from the movie, “Elf,” and wished that the fictional holiday spirit would become our reality. But what if it could? Frederik Meijer Gardens (FMG) invites you to revel in the spirit of the season by bringing you “Christmas and Holiday Traditions Around the World,” an exhibit in which more than 40 international trees and holiday arrangements are on display around the Gardens. “Christmas and Holiday Traditions Around the World” is held at FMG from Nov. 20, 2018 to Jan. 6, 2019. Each fall, beginning in early November, a team of exceptional volunteers gathers at the Gardens to decorate the trees and cultural displays on view for the exhibition. Each tree and display represents the holiday traditions of various countries and cultures from around the world featuring authentic ornaments and celebratory elements. Throughout the month, visitors may also enjoy the sweet sounds of the original

Dicken’s Carolers, visits with Santa, 400,000 stunning lights and rooftop reindeer. “The public’s response to this exhibition is overwhelming,” John VanderHaagen, public relations manager of FMG, said. “Visitors from all over the world attend the Gardens to experience the joy of the holiday season.”

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Nicole Walters, Senior Development Manager (616) 247-6861 or nwalters@marchofdimes.org SIGNATURECHEFS.ORG

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616.459.2224 55

Nov 17-Dec 8

(continued from page 54)

Holiday Kerstmarkt. Experience a delightful outdoor European-style market with holiday items, delicious food and artisan demonstrations. 8th Street Marketplace. Downtownholland.com

Nov 15-17

Forest Hills Northern Presents “Newsies.” Forest Hills Fine Arts Center. Shows nightly at 7 pm. Fhfineartscenter.com

Nov 16-17

Nov 16-18, 21-25, 28-30

The Little Mermaid. The GR Civic Theatre. Wed through Sat at 7:30 pm. Sun at 2 pm. Grct.org

Coalesce. Join us in mingling with our artists and viewing their work. Grand Rapids Gallery, Exhibition.5 pm. Lafontsee.us

Nov 30-Dec 2

Holiday Traditions Around the World. Fredrick Meijer Gardens. Meijergardens.org

Broadway Grand Rapids presents Jersey Boys. Devos Performance Hall. Friday Nov 20, 8 pm; Sat Dec 1, 2 & 8 pm; Sun Dec 2, 1 & 6:30 pm. Broadwaygrandrapids.com

Nov 21-Jan 5

Nov 1

Nov 20-Jan 6

Mozart Mass in C Minor. DeVos Performance Hall. 8 pm. Grsymphony.org

Nov 30-Dec 29

Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band. Van Andel Arena. 8 pm. Vanandelarena.com

Drake Night: Scorpion Season (A Tribute To Drake). Ages 18+. 20 Monroe Live. 8 pm. 20monroelive.com

Brian Kilmeade: Andrew Jackson and the Miracle of New Orleans. Gerald R. Ford Museum. 7 pm. Fordlibrarymuseum.gov Capturing the Winning Moment Tour. $15 per adult; $10 per member.GRAM. 6-8 pm. Artmuseumgr.or Music in the Stacks: PINK SKY. Grand Rapids Public Library - Main Branch. 7-8:30 pm. Grpl.org Spectacular Jazz: Kenny Barron Quintet. St. Cecelia Music Center. 7:30 pm. Scmc-online.org

Nov 2

Gov’t Mule. All ages. 20 Monroe Live. 7 pm. 20monroelive.com

COCKTAIL WEEK RUNS FROM NOV. 7-19

Make more than a career, make a difference.

Opportunities available in patient care and administrative departments, in multiple locations.

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Submit your story by November 30 for a chance to become published and win cash prizes! writemichigan.org In partnership with

Artwork by Tim Kleyn

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Creativity Uncorked: All Mixed Up Exploring Collage & Photographic Transfer. GRAM.6:45-9 pm. Artmuseumgr.org

Seether: Poison The Parish World Tour presented by WGRD. 20 Monroe Live. 6:30 pm. 20monroelive.com

First Friday Studio Night: Clay Carving Inspired by Jason Quigno. UICA. 6-9 pm. Uica.org

RBRM: Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky & Mike. DeVos Performance Hall. 7:30 pm. Devosperformancehall.com

First Friday Docent-Led Tour. Every First Friday of the month the Heartside neighborhood transforms into an active, arts-focused destination. 6-8 pm. Uica.org

Curator’s Lecture. Join Dr. Lisa VanArragon as she presents on many artists in the exhibition. Fredrick Meijer Gardens. 2 pm. Meijergardens.org

Nov 3

Handworks: A show of craft and art. Betsy Ratzsch hosts this annual juried show of 20 artists. The Forest Hills Presbyterian Church 9-4 pm. HandworksAda.com Good Charlotte with Sleeping with Sirens, Knuckle Puck, The Dose. All ages. 20 Monroe Live. 6 pm. 20monroelive.com Holland Farmers Market. Eighth Street Marketplace, Downtown Holland. 8 pm. Hollandfarmersmarket.com 2018 Holiday Gift Show. Fredrick Meijer Gardens. All ages welcome. 9-5 pm. Meijergardens.org New Member Tour: GRAM’s Collection - Portraits. GRAM. 1-2 pm. Artmuseumgr.org

Nov 4

Adult Workshop: Introduction to Cyanotype. GRAM. 12:30-3:30 pm. Artmuseumgr.org

Nov 6

Adam Devine: Weird Life Tour 2018. All ages. 20 Monroe Live. 7 pm. 20monroelive.com Film Screening: Art 21 Episode 9: San Fran Bay - Film screening and discussion. Fredrick Meijer Gardens. 7 pm. Meijergardens.org

Nov 7

The FUN Show with Cat & Nat. All ages. 20 Monroe Live. 6 pm. 20monroelive.com ACG Young Professionals Tour Event. Location TBD. 5:30-7:30 pm. Acg.org/wmich Disney Junior Dance Party. DeVos Performance Hall. 6 pm. Devosperformancehall.com

Gateway to Music Luncheon. Eberhard Center. 12 pm. Grsymphony.org

Downtown Market. 10-8 pm. Downtownmarketgr.com

Watercolor Brush Lettering. Light Gallery GR. 6-8 pm. Lightgallerygr.com

Lynyrd Skynyrd: Last of The Street Survivors Farewell Tour. Van Andel Arena. 7 pm. Vanandelarena.com

Nov 7

Nov 10

Small Sharks in the Big Lake. 9th Annual Giving Back Event. Select non-profits pitch their organizations for funding consideration, and the audience chooses the winner! Rockford Construction. 5:30-7:30 pm. Wiseconnections.org

GR Bride Fall Bridal Show. Delta Plex. 12 pm. Deltaplex.com

Monthly Speaker Series Luncheon. Location: TBD. 12 pm. Meetup.com/ Ladies-on-the-Lakeshore

Nov 8

Business Matters Series. Grand Rapids Chamber. 7:30-9 am. Grandrapids.org Legacy Awards Gala. Join us for the 10th Annual Jay & Betty Van Andel Legacy Awards Gala. Grand Rapids Art Museum. Grpm.org

Nov 9

Zamora Entertainment: El Fantasma. Tickets $45-$55. Delta Plex. 9 pm. Deltaplex.com Comfort Food Friday. A day celebrating the home-cooked, the hand-made, and the hearty! All ages welcome.

Thievery Corporation with Julian Marley. All ages. 20 Monroe Live. 7:30 pm. 20monroelive.com

Story Time Tour: Game Time. GRAM. 1-2:30 pm. Artmuseumgr.org

Nov 12

Dance Theatre of Harlem. Devos Performance Hall. 8 pm. Devosperformancehall.com

Nov 13

Membership Magnified. Begin, continue or further your involvement with the Chamber by networking with other members through facilitated dialogue and open networking opportunities. Grand Rapids Chamber. 3:30-5 pm. Grandrapids.com Building Integrity, Building Ford: A Documentary. Gerald R. Ford Museum. 7 pm. Fordlibrarymuseum.gov (continued on page 59)

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Book now at FlyFord.org Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Holistic Massage, Skincare, Haircare

Beaubien Bodyworks 951 Wealthy Street SE Grand Rapids, MI 49506 (616) 258-8181 beaubienbodyworks.com

KDL Announces 7th Annual Write Michigan Short Story Contest

ent District Library and Schuler Books & Music announce the seventh annual Write Michigan Short Story Contest, which drew nearly 900 Michigan writers last year.

A word after a word after a word is power.” —Margaret Atwood

Writers of all ages are invited to enter, with separate categories for youth, teens, adults and Spanish language. Winning entries will be published and receive cash prizes.

43 East 8th St, suite 120 Holland, MI 49423 (616) 393-7900 studio.K@att.net 58

“Write Michigan is a wonderful opportunity for authors of all ages,” said KDL Director of Innovation and User Experience Michelle BoisvenueFox. “We continue to be amazed at the caliber of writers we have entered this exciting competition and are honored to be a vehicle in showcasing Michigan talent. Writers won’t want to miss this chance to share their talent in such a big way!”

Stories can be submitted at writemichigan.org through Friday, Nov. 30. Details include a 3,000-word maximum length; $10 entry fee for ages 18 and above, free for 17 and under; current Michigan residents only; all entries must be submitted online. Winners are chosen by public vote for the Readers’ Choice award and by a panel of judges for the Judges’ Choice award. Voters and judges choose winners from the top ten semi-finalists. The top honor in each category receives a $250 cash prize and a Judges’ Choice runner-up in each category will receive a $100 prize. Winners will be honored during an awards ceremony in March and be published by Chapbook Press.

What: Write Michigan Short Story Contest When: Through Nov. 30 Where: Submit stories at writemichigan.o rg. Cost: $10 entry free for adults.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

(continued from page 57)

Meet Up: Monthly Meeting. Schuler Books & Music: 2660 28th Street SE. $10 tickets. 9 am. Meetup.com/ Womennetworking

Nov 14

ACG November Breakfast: Trade Policy Update. Kent Country Club. 7:30-9 am. Acg.org/wmich Discovery Club: Superheroes at the Museum. GRAM. 10:30-11:30 am. Artmuseumgr.org Modern Calligraphy + Sign. Light Gallery GR. 6-8 pm. Lightgallerygr.com

Nov 15

Elaine Weiss: The Woman’s Hour: The Great Flight to Win the Vote. Gerald R. Ford Museum. 7 pm. Fordlibrarymuseum.gov Yoga at GRAM. 5:45-6:45 pm. Artmuseumgr.org Date Night Tour: GRAM’s Collection - Abstract Art. GRAM. 6-7:30 pm. Artmuseumgr.org GRAM Educator Night - Who Shot Sports. GRAM. 5-9 pm. Artmuseumgr.org Chamber Music Society of Lincoln Center: The Trout Quintet. St. Cecelia Music Center. 7:30 pm. Scmc-online.org National Philanthropy Day 2018. JW Marriott. 11- 2 pm. Afpwm.org/get-involved/npd

Nov 16

Amanda Miguel & Diego Verdaguer: Siempre Juntos US Tour. All ages. 20 Monroe Live. 7 pm. 20monroelive.com VENTURE Launch. Kick start your entrepreneurial journey at VENTURE Launch, a program by the Grand Rapids Chamber and SCORE. Grand Rapids Area Chamber of Commerce. 9-12 pm. Grandrapids.org

Nov 17

Elvis Costello & The Imposters. All ages. 20 Monroe Live. 7 pm. 20monroelive.com GR Symphony Presents The Snowman. DeVos Performance Hall. 3 pm. Devosperformancehall.com

LOVE YOUR BODY

Holiday Open House. Stroll the decorated and brightly lit streets filled with holiday carolers, shop for gifts while enjoying complimentary refreshments Corner of 8th Street and Central Avenue. 5-8 pm. Cityofholland.com A Very Merry Market Day. Shop for holiday gifts at our artisan market and more food and fun. All ages welcome. Downtown Market. 10-5 pm. Downtownmarketgr.com The Snow Man. DeVos Performance Hall. 3 pm. Grsymphony.org

Nov 18

Danity Kane DK3 featuring Dawn & Dumblonde. All ages. 20 Monroe Live. 8 pm. 20monroelive.com Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Musical. DeVos Performance Hall. 7 pm. Devosperformancehall.com

Nov 19

Small Business Series: Design Thinking for Small Businesses & Nonprofits. Learn a the five core phases of Design Thinking. Grand Rapids Chamber. 1-3 pm. Grandrapids.org Member Holiday party with Tree Lighting Ceremony. Fredrick Meijer Gardens. 6 pm. MeijerGardens.org

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Nov 20

Generation Axe featuring Steve Vai, Zakk Wylde, Yngwie Malmsteen, Nuno Bettencourt & Tosin Abasi. . 20 Monroe Live. 6:30 pm. 20monroelive.com Brian Wilson presents Pet Sounds. Devos Performance Hall. 8 pm. Devosperformancehall.com (continued on page 61)

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Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

STEVE OZINGA, CHAIR OF THE NATIONAL PHILANTHROPY DAY 2018 COMMITTEE, AND CATHERINE ROGG, PRESIDENT OF THE ASSOCIATION OF FUNDRAISING PROFESSIONALS AND DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR FOR PAWS WITH A CAUSE.

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Women Sweep NATIONAL PHILANTHROPY DAY AWARDS

ach year, National Philanthropy Day is celebrated in cities across the world as outstanding community members are honored for their contributions. The 32nd Annual National Philanthropy Day celebration takes place from 11:00 — 2:00 pm on Nov. 15 at the JW Marriott (235 Louis Street NW). Awards are giving to individuals selected for exceptional philanthropic contributions; and this year, for the first time ever, all recipients are women. Honorees include Vicki Weaver, President, Spectrum Health Foundation and Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital Foundation; Louise “Punky” Edison, Development Director, West Michigan Center for Arts and Technology; Stephanie Kerr-Cathey, Muskegon Program Manager, Kids’ Food Basket, Muskegon; Veverly Austin, Founder, Girl, Get Your Fight Back; and Janean Couch and the Grand Rapids Community Foundation Youth Grant Committee. “We had a lot of nominations this year, and because of the strong impact these women have had on the community, they were chosen as awardees,” Steve Ozinga, Chair of the National Philanthropy Day 2018 Committee, stated. “They were strong nominations who were very supported by their staff. When you meet these women, it is an amazing experience.” The honorees reflect an increasing trend in giving, says Catherine Rogg, President of the Association of Fundraising Professionals and Development Director for Paws with a Cause. Seventy-five percent of professional fundraisers are women,

BY ELYSE WILD and according to Do Women Give More?, a report conducted by the Lilly Family School of Philanthropy, women are responsible for 86 percent of household’s consumer purchasing decisions, and are more likely to give higher dollar amounts than their male counterparts. “Women in philanthropy are growing quite a bit,” Rogg expressed. “Women are really invested. A lot of them volunteer first and get to know an organization before they give.” Along with the awards ceremony, the luncheon also includes a special 45-minute keynote address by renowned fundraiser and activist Dan Pallotta, whose 2013 TED Talk on our relationships with charities has been viewed more than 4 million times. “We wanted to bring someone in who would be a draw,” Ozingoa commented. “But who would also challenge all of us to shift the paradigm on what we are thinking. Dan Pallotta’s message is so powerful and impactful.”

Purchase tickets at afpwm.org/ get-involved/npd.

What: National Philanthropy Da y 2018 When: Nov. 15, 11:00 - 2:00 pm Where: JW Marr iott, 235 Louis st NW Cost: Member | $60 Non-Member | $75 Student | $35

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97.9 WGRD Presents Breaking Benjamin and Five Finger Death Punch. Van Andel Arena. 6 pm. Vanandelarena.com

(continued from page 59)

Nov 27

Parade of Lights. During the annual Parade of Lights, Santa will arrive in Downtown Holland escorted by reideer, bands, floats, trucks, family and friends. Downtown Holland. 6:30 pm. Downtownholland.com

Nov 29

GR Symphony Presents Home Alone in Concert. Devos Performance Hall. 7:30 pm. Devosperformancehall.com Who Shot Sports: Ping Pong Party. GRAM. 6-8:30 pm. Artmuseumgr.org

Nov 23

Battery: Tribute to Metallica. Ages 18+. 20 Monroe Live. 7 pm. 20monroelive.com

Home Alone in Concert. DeVos Performance Hall. 7:30 pm. Grsymphony.org

Nephew Tommy. Devos Performance Hall. 8 pm. Devosperformancehall.com

Acoustic Cafe: The Lone Bellow. St. Celcelia Music Center. 7:30 pm. ßScmc-online.org

Nov 24

A Drag Queen Christmas: The Naughty Tour. Devos Performance Hall. 8 pm. Devosperformancehall.com

Nov 26

Harry Connick Jr. Devos Performance Hall. 7:30 pm. Devosperformancehall.com

Nov 30

Steel Panther: Sunset Strip Live with Wilson. All ages. 20 Monroe Live. 7 pm. 20monroelive.com Leadership for Future Growth: Talent Summit. Intended for talent development. Amway Grand Plaza Hotel. 7:30-11:30 am. Grandrapids.org

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Five Questions to Ask Your Aging Parents

BY SHANNAN DENISON

s Mom and Dad progress into their sunset years, you may start experiencing some role reversals. Be proactive. Here are some key questions to help you both navigate the unexpected.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE HAPPEN IF YOU CAN NO LONGER CARE FOR YOURSELF?

It might be a temporary situation such as a hip or knee replacement that requires a short rehabilitation period. Falls become more commonplace among the elderly and some are left for hours, sometimes days before they are found. Would staying in the home with competent home care be desired? Or are they thinking they will move in with you?

DO YOU HAVE LONG TERM CARE INSURANCE?

A good long term care policy will help defray the costs of home care and/or a long term care facility. Policies typically kick in when the insured cannot perform at least two of the six activities of daily living (ADLs); bathing, dressing, toileting, eating, transferring (walking and getting up and down) and continence. Think about your morning routine. You most likely perform all six of the ADLs.

DO YOU HAVE ESTATE PLANNING DOCUMENTS THAT HAVE BEEN REVIEWED IN THE PAST THREE YEARS? A proper estate plan includes a living will or trust and a durable power of attorney both for financial affairs and health care. Adult children are often given these responsibilities. It should be someone who is close by, trusted and knows what responsibilities are expected of them. Make sure you know where it is and if there are any key roles you will be asked to play.

ARE YOU WORKING WITH A FINANCIAL ADVISOR?

In regards to investments, the most common mistake the elderly make is being too conservative with their savings. Downturns in the market create skittish investors making cd’s and savings accounts look attractive. The problem is that current interest rates are still at artificially held lows, (think quantitative easing) which don’t even keep up with inflation. A professional advisor will make sure the investments are diversified by both product type and asset class. Assets should be rebalanced regularly, at a minimum of once per year.

WHAT ARE YOUR END-OF- LIFE WISHES?

Resuscitate or do not resuscitate (DNR)? Cremation or casket? Memorial service or drinks at the bar? Pre-planning as much detail of this inevitable event is a true gift to family survivors that will save time and money. Those who don’t pre-plan are often vulnerable to being talked into more expensive affairs. Remember that death rituals are for the living. A gathering should offer a genuine reflection of the deceased as well as a time of sharing for loved ones. Remember to make the conversation private and choose a time when everyone is clear-minded and fresh. For example, don’t start asking these five questions when Dad is finishing up his fifth eggnog at the family Christmas party. Remember to include other siblings too. The best lives our senior parents can live include independence, choice, dignity and the highest quality of life possible given their financial status. Emphasize that you want these things for them and they will more likely be receptive to this important conversation. This article was originally printed in November, 2013 and has been updated for this publication. Shannan Denison, CRPC® is a registered representative and owner of Denison Financial. Securities are provided through International Assets Advisory, LLC a member of FINRA. She can be reached at 616.264.3443 or email her at sdenison@iaac. com. The information contained herein is obtained from sources believed to be reliable, but its accuracy or completeness is not guaranteed. This article is for informational purposes only and is not a solicitation or a recommendation that any particular investor should purchase or sell any particular security. All expressions of opinions are subject to change without notice and are those of Shannan Denison and not necessarily those of Denison Financial/ International Assets Advisory. Investments, financial strategies or general financial information listed herein may not be suitable for all investors. Past performance may not be indicative of future results. You should discuss any tax or legal matters with the appropriate professional.

Women’s LifeStyle Magazine • November 2018

Aspen & Oliver’s

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