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BY KIM CARSON
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ecently I interviewed Jenn Bane, author of the book FRIENDSHIPPING: The Art of Finding Friends, Being Friends, and Keeping Friends. In 2021 we can connect with people worldwide more easily and more quickly than ever before, but are they really friends? How do we find a friend, and what qualities should we be looking for?
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with people you haven’t seen in many years, or maybe you drop some friends, and you move on; it’s whatever works for both people.
ADVICE FOR FRIENDSHIPPING
Friendshipping expert JENN BANE doesn’t believe that there is one single definition of a good friend. One thing Jenn learned about friendship is that it comes down to joyfully sharing your life with someone else. Friendship is joy; it’s comfort, sustenance, protection, and mutual sharing.
Jenn’s advice for people looking to deepen their current friendships or become a better friend is to communicate. It sounds cheesy, but it really is vital. For example, if you wish your friend would text you back more quickly, or maybe you’d like to see your friend on a video call more often, you do need to say it. Your friends, even your close friends, cannot read your mind. You need to say what you need, and you can say it in a very kind way.
Friends can open your world to ideas and concepts. What’s unique about adult friendships and maybe what’s difficult about them too is that you’ll shed friendships throughout your life. You can reconnect
We’ve all had a friend at some time in our life say, “I want to talk to you about something but just don’t know where or how to start.” For my closest friends, I always say, “Aren’t we past this point in our
June 2021
relationship? Just say it. I know your heart. I know the spirit in which you’re delivering the message comes from a place of kindness, not criticism.” Jenn says if a message is delivered in kindness, but they want, need, or concern is received negatively, you may want to re-evaluate that friendship. The word to remember is kindness. Your true friends don’t want to hurt you, they want to make your life easier, and they want to help carry your baggage. They definitely don’t want to make your life harder. Jenn and her best friend, Trinn Garritano, host the Friendshipping podcast. You may catch them settling a friendly dispute, giving advice on a new friend who has suddenly become a cling-on, or listening to heartwarming stories about what makes decades-long friendships last. The podcast focuses on making friends as an adult, and this can be difficult. Yet she
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