M AY / J U N E 2 0 2 2
Fresh * Fun * Fabulous moxiemediagroup.com
•
FREE
CUSTOMER DRIVEN • COMMUNITY FOCUSED PEOPLE ARE OUR PASSION
H T I W S U L L A C
! U O Y G N I G G U B S ’ T WHA 1 5 0 0 3 9 9 269- SMI.COM PESTPRO
2
May/June 2022
moxiemediagroup.com
NEW DATES! MAY 6 & 7, 2022 Friday 12 PM – 6 PM • Saturday 9 AM – 3 PM Kalamazoo County Expo Center • 2900 Lake Street | Kalamazoo, MI
Take a day away for some “me” time or make it a day with your friends! Explore the many businesses & organizations of the greater Kalamazoo area communities at the Women’s Lifestyle Expo presented by Moxie.
FASHION • PAMPER • BEAUTY • SHOP • PETS WORKSHOPS • DIY CRAFTS • ARTISTS VENDORS: There is still time to reserve your booth for the 2022 Women’s Lifestyle Expo (269) 488-9780 | info@moxiemediagroup.net | www.moxiemediagroup.com May/June 2022
3
| FROM THE PUBLISHER | May is finally here and spring is in full swing around the Moxie offices! After having to take 2021 off, our Women’s Lifestyle Expo is back and better than ever. We can’t wait to welcome you to the show on Friday May 6th and Saturday May 7th at the Kalamazoo County Expo center. While the date is a little different this year, you can expect the same fun and exciting show with all of your favorite vendors. Spring is the season of rebirth and renewal, and it seems like the perfect time to introduce you to the updated format and distribution of Moxie Magazine. In an effort to continue bringing you Moxie’s fresh, fun, and fabulous content in a post-COVID world we have made a few changes. The magazine has moved to a bimonthly publication schedule, starting with this (May/June 2022) edition. We have also moved to a direct mailing distribution.
We are in the process of developing 10 – 20 regional distribution locations and will update you once that process is complete. While we know you miss seeing Moxie on your local news stand, we are happy to deliver the magazine to your inbox or your mailbox, free of charge. If you would like to receive Moxie Magazine, please email us at subscriptions@moxiemediagroup. net and let us know if you prefer a digital or hard copy. While this edition marks a substantial change for us, please know that we are dedicated to continuing to bring you all of the beautiful, exciting, and original content that you love from Moxie Magazine. I hope that you enjoy the glorious sunshine and I look forward to seeing you at the expo! Love,
Heather
Tick Tock: The Clock Who Refused to Tell Time
OVERSTOCK Sale Our in-stock selection is at its best! Find what you’re looking for and take it home today or arrange for immediate delivery.
12000 N US 131 (One mile north of Schoolcraft) • vandenbergfurniture.com (269) 679-4055 • Mon, Tue, Thu, Sat 9:30-5:30 • Wed, Fri 9:30-8 (Closed Sunday) 4
May/June 2022
moxiemediagroup.com
contents LIFE
Y MOTHER’S 10 MKITCHEN
20 DISCOVER ST. JOE
other’s Day When 6M
You Don’t Fit the Mold
y Mother’s Kitchen 8M 10 S pring Cleaning 12 The Power of the Mother/ Daughter Relationship
14 D on’t Ghost People. It’s Rude! 18 S pring to Summer Dress Trends & Tips
20 D iscover St. Joe
FOOD 16 S weet Treats for Dad - Carrot Cake - Lemon Meringue Pie
16 SWEET TREATS FOR DAD PUBLISHER: Heather Dombos hdombos@moxiemediagroup.net LAYOUT & DESIGN: Alicia Pauwels apauwels@moxiemediagroup.net
THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE IT HAPPEN
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Kim Carson Ashley Carter Youngblood Kelly Duggan Rachel Kirtley Heidi McCrary Doug Mitchell Elizabeth Precopio Hannah Reuter Maria Sorrentino
Ethel Wilkey-Downs Marlita Walker
WEBSITE: moxiemediagroup.com
BY EMAIL: info@moxiemediagroup.net editor@moxiemediagroup.net sales@moxiemediagroup.net
FOR SALES INFO: 269-350-5227
BY MAIL: Moxie Media Group, LLC P. O. Box 2284 Portage, MI 49081-2284
May/June 2022
5
Coping With
Mother’s Day When You Don’t
Fit the Mold BY EMILY BETROS
Whether you are a mom, have a mom, or fall somewhere in between, Mother’s Day can bring up many different emotions. Some of us dream of becoming a mom one day and won’t be able to. Some of us have lost our mom too soon. And, let's face it, some of us just don’t have a great relationship with the person who brought us into this world. Regardless of the category you fall into, if you find yourself struggling this Mother’s Day, consider these tips to help get you through the day:
DISCONNECT FROM SOCIAL MEDIA Your feed is bound to be filled with all things “mom” and there’s no reason to fill your brain with these images, quotes, and tributes. If you are already feeling sad or lonely, seeing other people's joy and celebrations won’t help. Show yourself some compassion and log off for the day.
DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF
If you already know that this day is going to be emotionally draining and challenging for you, schedule something to fill your cup.
May 2019 6 12 May/June 2022
Hang out with a friend, work on a project, get a massage or anything else that will put a smile on your face. You deserve a little love everyday, and this day is no different.
HAVE SELF-COMPASSION
If you’ve struggled with infertility, miscarriage(s), or have an estranged relationship with your mom know that you are not alone and your feelings are completely normal on this day. Acknowledge that this day is tough for you. Feel your feelings. Write them down or talk to a friend. You don’t have to hide your feelings. Tell yourself that it’s OK to be sad. Be kind to yourself just like you would a young child. Once you have notices and acknowledged how you are feeling, see if there is anything you can let go.
CELEBRATE YOURSELF
Wherever you are in this journey, know that there are a million others amazing things that make you who you are. Yes, being a mom or having a mom is a special role and relationship that some of us get to experience. But, this is only one day of the year. You are
an incredible person! Honor where you are at in your life right now. Love yourself.
CREATE A NEW TRADITION
Mother’s Day isn’t likely to fall of our calendars anytime soon. Consider starting your own tradition on this day to make it your own. Maybe you recount memories, do something to honor someone else, find a way to give back to the community, head to Lake Michigan, or buy a new book. Whatever you decide, make sure it’s something you’ll look forward to year after year. It’s important on this day to treat ourselves with unconditional love, acceptance, and compassion. Be patient with yourself and know that you are not alone. Emily Betros is a licensed clinical Emily Betros social worker, certified health coach, Emily is or a licensed clinical and owner Reclaiming Health,social worker, certified health coach,an LLC. She helps clients put together individualized plan to meet theirHealth, health and owner of Reclaiming goals. enjoys hiking,intraveling, LLC.Emily She specializes body vegan-izing recipes,eating and spending time image support, disorders, with her husband and daughter.
anxiety, life transitions, mindfulness, and women's issues. More info: www.reclaiminghealth.net.
WomensLifeStyleKazoo.com
moxiemediagroup.com
The healing power of Positivity At Bronson, our regional oncology team targets your cancer and supports you in body, mind and spirit. We offer a comprehensive approach to care that surrounds you with the expertise, technology, resources and positivity that you and your family need for your cancer journey. From diagnosis through treatment, we’ll track your progress and keep you and your care team informed and connected every step of the way.
Learn more at bronsonhealth.com/cancer.
G
list? Consider it DONE O-DO with T a … ot
Peace of Mind = PRICELESS ✓ WAIT SERVICE for cable, plumber, etc. ✓ DOWNSIZING / MOVE ASSISTANCE ✓ HOUSE & PET SITTING ✓ ERRANDS
CALL TODAY! 269-720-7605
When protecting your Auto, Home, Life and more, the
EXPERIENCE MATTERS. Call Jaime Flees today!
(269) 381-1262 | jflees@fbinsmi.com 6221 W. Main St., Kalamazoo
MARY BETH LYONS | OWNER
www.asinglerayofhope.com | marybeth@asinglerayofhope.com
May/June 2022
7
Kim Carson’s interview withPeter Gethers, author of
My Mother’s Kitchen Today my conversation is with Peter Gethers who is an author, screenwriter, playwright, book editor, and TV/Film producer. Today our conversation is about his book My Mother’s Kitchen: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, and the Meaning of Life.
Kim Carson: Thank you so much for talking to me today Peter.
Peter Gethers: Thanks for having me. Just
hearing that description it’s no wonder that I’m tired.
Kim: So this is a memoir about a son’s
discovery that his mom has a genius quality for understanding these really intimate connections between cooking and people and love. So how did that start to unfold and become clear to you?
Peter: It is kind of a memoir in the story of my
mom. It took a lifetime for me to understand it. My mother was a very important person in the food world, which I can get back to, but when she was 85 years old, she had a very severe stroke. And this is when I began to realize just how extraordinary she was, because I was told she was gonna have locked in syndrome and that she’d never be able to speak or move again at age 84. Six weeks later she walked into a Christmas party because she refused to be wheeled in and she was speaking and making jokes and walking and eating of course. And six weeks after that she moved back to her apartment in New York. She was indomitable and food was so important to her that over the last few years of her life I got so interested in how she had become who she had become, which was someone who has a great level of peace with herself. And I thought, this is really interesting to me. I asked her what cooking did for her, I said, did you cook because it gave other people so much pleasure? And she said, no, which really surprised me. She said I cooked for myself. And I said, really,
8
May/June 2022
what did it give you? She thought about it and she was quite aphasic but finally she came up with the perfect word, she said, it gave me identity. And I realized people who have that sense of identity also have a great sense of comfort. And we’re all looking for comfort. And I said to myself I wanna see how this person became who she became.
Kim: And thus the idea for sharing these stories in your book, My Mother’s Kitchen.
Peter: Yes and I went to her and I said, I
wanna know more about you let’s start with food, because that was really an access point, it was for my mom. I got her to give me her fantasy breakfast, lunch, and dinner menus and I decided I was gonna learn to cook all these things. So over a couple of years, I cooked for her and with her and learned from her. We talked about every possible thing in life from her early days, literally up until the day she died. And we talked about death and all sorts of serious things. It was a remarkably honest relationship and midway through the process I thought, well, I’m not just learning how to cook from my mother. I tell the stories of my learning how to cook which I think are reasonably hilarious because I just bumble my way through them but I get there. I learned about life from her in a powerful and profound way. And I went, this isn’t just a life experience for me. I’m gonna write a book about it. I am a writer after all. So I should share these things. And that’s a long-winded way of how the book came to be
Kim: And your mom, Judy Gethers was a
celebrated cook and cookbook writer. She
was also a mother figure and a mentor to so many different chefs, Wolfgang Puck, Jonathan Waxman and Nancy Silverton. She also ran the cooking school Ma Cuisine teaching right alongside Julia Child. I mean Julia Child with Peter’s her life was mother, Judy Gethers cooking and this all happened later in life.
Peter: She didn’t start until she was 53 years old.
That was her first job. When she took a nonpaying job at Ma Maison to become a good French cook. That was her goal. She worked there three nights a week and they said, we’ll work you to the bone. And a year later she was the mentor to all these chefs and opened up a cooking school and was pals with Julia Child; it was incredible.
Kim: It is incredible. You visited your mom at
least twice a week and I’d like to know what those visits looked like and what did your mom share about food, family, love and how they’re all entwined?
Peter: Everything, because I really wanted
to learn how she achieved this kind of extraordinary serenity when she had so many ups and downs in her life, especially over the
moxiemediagroup.com
last decade of her life, because I was not that serene a person. I don’t think I would’ve dealt with a lot of things the way she was able to, you know she just didn’t give up. When she had her stroke, and I told you how severe it was, her doctor who was a wonderful gerontologist said to me, I’ve never seen anything like this. Your mother’s never been depressed. He said, at first I thought maybe she was in denial. Her life is so diminished but she just literally from day one went, I don’t need antidepressants. I’m not depressed. I understand what happened. I understand what my life is gonna be. This is what it is. I’m gonna deal with it and move on. And she just went forward with no regret.
Kim: She just pressed through and continued to press through
Peter: And pressed through with a great joy of
life. She never felt sorry for herself. She just went, you know what this is what my life is now, this is what I’m gonna appreciate.
Kim: It’s acceptance. There’s a peace in that as well. Peter: And I believe a lot of that came from
what she learned and did in the kitchen over the 30 years before this happened, it was quite extraordinary. And I did learn a lot, you asked what happened in those sessions? I cooked. And she often laughed at my ineptitude and made fun of me. She would say “oh my God, you’re really, you have no idea what you’re doing” and I’d say, what happened to the nice, quiet aphasic mom I had five minutes ago. Now that you’re making fun of me, you can talk perfectly. So I learned over several years about her youth and my family and the more I learned the more impressed I was and the more I realized what a truly strong person she was. And I tell a story in the book that years ago when she first went to work at Ma Maison and was first working with Wolf I visited LA. I was living back in New York at this point and she was in Los Angeles. I walked in the back door of my parents’ house. I knew she’d been doing this in the food world, but I hadn’t been home since she’d started. I watched her and she was chopping, you know the way real chefs chop something at that Star Wars Warp Speed kinda thing.
Kim: Right. I can see it in my minds eye.
Peter: And perfectly. I was watching her, not
just in awe of her mechanics, but there was this remarkable sense of peacefulness about her and serenity. I really thought to myself, she’s now a different person. She used to say to me, she never had to see a shrink because she worked out all her problems while she was chopping, baking, cooking and doing all these things. That was her peace.
Kim: It’s so beautiful. You know what I found
interesting and I’m curious about it, what was the attraction that your mom had to your dad because they were pretty different kind of people. Right?
Peter: My parents met when they were 14
years old in summer camp and they were married until my dad died. He died young at age 67. So they were still together quite a while. They were married at age 21 .They survived my dad being in the Army and WWII, gone for three years. And then he was a struggling actor and didn’t make much money for a long time. So they went through a lot of different stages. They had an insanely good marriage. I mean, it was kind of startling. They just loved each other and they liked each other. And what was very interesting to me also, and I talked to my mom about this is she had been a stay at home wife and mother until she was 53 and went to work at Ma Maison. Everyone thought my dad would not react well, he was used to being catered to and it’s not that they didn’t have things in common they just had very different personalities. My dad was very outgoing. My mother let him be the the star of the family and people assumed he was the strength of the family. I learned it was my mother who was the strength of the family. She was the one with the iron will and the steel backbone. But when she was 53, she said, I wanna do this. And he didn’t hesitate he said, that’s wonderful I approve a hundred percent I’m thrilled for you. Wow. Suddenly he was alone three nights a week and my mother actually became a star in the food world. My dad told me later that he knew it was time for her to change. It was time for her to grow. She’d been growing for decades. Each decade, my mother got stronger and stronger. And he said it was time for her to really move on with her life and become a new person. And he was confident enough that he would love the new person she was becoming as much as the old person she had been and of course that’s what happened. And it was mutual.
Kim: I love the differences; they’re both very
multifaceted people and yet they understood each other and there was an understanding.
Peter: Well, there was a perfect simpatico. You know, my dad was wildly funny and he was a very talented writer and became a talented television director and producer. And he was very flamboyant, an overpowering personality. And my mother was very quiet. People thought she was meek. She never was, but it took a lot to realize that it wasn’t meekness that kept her quiet it was just strength that kept her quiet. And she was a huge support for the family. And once she went to work at Ma Maison and became
this figure that she became in the food world, she also realized that she had a lot to offer younger people. She stayed friends with people who were much younger until she was in her nineties. And they would come to her for advice, especially in the seventies, they were going through divorces or they were going through sexual identity problems, whatever and my mother was very non judge judgmental and she would just give them sound advice. She became this sagacious person.
Kim: Peter, I know you have to go, but could
you talk a little about bringing your mom’s friends and loved ones all together at the table that one last time.
Peter: Well, what I was hoping to do with this
book was to create this fantastic feast while my mom was still alive. And the idea was to bring together Wolf and Nancy Silverton and the chefs she mentored and who mentored her. But also, as I said, she had friends and loved ones from every decade, teenaged to 80 something years old. I wanted to create this feast to really bring everyone together. My mother died before I was able to do this. So instead, this great feast was for about 75 people at her Memorial. And what was nice about it in a strange way, although I wish I had been able to do it when she was alive, was that she knew the way everybody felt about her. It was really clear. So this just turned into a huge celebration. The way she would’ve loved it to have been, it was not a mournful service or a memorial. It was just a pure celebration of people eating much of what I made and for 75 people which is reasonably difficult. We just had a feast. We drank my mother’s favorite wine. We drank my mother’s favorite dessert wine. My very favorite thing about the evening was when there were about 20 people left and we were just a exhausted and swigging the dessert wine, overlooking Central Park at a friend of my mother’s apartment, that’s where we held it. Incredible fireworks went off and it was like a final end to my mother’s life. It was just this insane celebration. People thought I arranged it, but it was a concert that was in the park. It was just like what life is to be, celebrated. So it was a perfect ending.
Kim: It’s a wonderful read. Get My Mother’s Kitchen just in time for Mother’s Day.
Peter: Oh, thank you so much Kim. Kim Carson
Kim is an Author/Podcast/TV/ Internet personality. Watch and listen for her on WGVU TV’s Kalamazoo Lively Arts and J. Schwanke’s Life In Bloom. Learn more at kimcarson.online and fb.com/kimcarson
May/June 2022
9
g n i r p S g n i n a Cle Doug Mitchell
Diamond Doug is Owner/Artist at UniQ Jewelry Gallery. More info: uniqjewelry.com.
The sun has been out and warmer weather is quickly on its way! With the snow finally on its way out, it’s time to unleash those bold, beautiful baubles that have been cooped up all winter. What better way to kick off the season than a fresh look at your jewelry box for a spring clean? While sorting and organizing your favorite accessories, there are a few things to keep in mind: when was the last time you’ve had these pieces appraised? Are all the prongs still in good condition? Do I wear this piece enough or could I get store credit for something I’ll enjoy more often? After careful consideration, here are some ideas of what you can do to keep your bauble box up-to-date and shining bright.
HAVE YOUR JEWELRY CLEANED & INSPECTED
Jewelry should be checked every six months and cleaned frequently!
TIPS ON CARING FOR JEWELRY AT HOME Be Careful with Light and Heat Just as the sun’s harmful rays can damage our skin, light and heat can affect a colored gemstone’s durability and color. Over time, and in excess, they can also fade or damage some gemstones.
Keep Your Jewelry Away From Chemicals Exposure to chemicals can damage or discolor precious metals – gold, silver and platinum – and may harm some colored gems. Even everyday substances like hairspray, lotion, perfume or other cosmetics can contain chemicals that will permanently damage the surface of
10
May/June 2022
your pearls and other delicate or porous gems (like turquoise).
Give Treated Gems Special Care Many colored gemstones are routinely treated to improve the appearance of color and clarity. These treatments can be negatively affected by heat, solvents, steam, and ultrasonic cleaners. Knowing whether your gem has been treated is the first step to knowing how to care for it.
The Safest Cleaning Methods Are Also the Easiest Most colored gems can be cleaned with warm water, mild dish soap (no detergents)
and a soft brush. A pulsed-water dental cleaning appliance and a soft, lint-free cloth can also be used. Be sure to rinse your jewelry in a glass of water to remove cleaning solutions since you risk losing loose stones – or even an entire piece of jewelry - if you rinse directly in the sink.
Safely Store Your Jewelry Proper jewelry storage is often overlooked. Jewelry should never be tossed into a drawer or on top of a dresser − that’s asking for scratches and damaged gems. Most jewelry pieces come in a box or pouch from the store, which is a perfect place to keep them. Sterling silver, for example, should be kept in an anti-tarnish bag or cloth.
moxiemediagroup.com
Get an Updated Appraisal
A jewelry appraisal is a process in which a certified professional examines and states a dollar value for a piece of jewelry, taking into consideration both the metal and gemstones. There are 27 types of appraisals that suit different purposes, such as for tax purposes, resale purposes, estate purposes, and insurance purposes.
Common Appraisal Misconceptions Myth: I can use an appraisal
that was done when the jewelry was purchased.
Truth: Jewelry values
fluctuate. To ensure you’re
covered for the right amount, use an appraisal that was done within the past 18 months.
Myth: I have homeowner’s
insurance. If I lose my jewelry, I am automatically covered.
Truth: ALWAYS clarify with your Insurance Agent what is covered on your individual policy. It is recommended to have your jewelry appraised and scheduled separately.
A jewelry appraisal by UniQ Jewelry Gallery provides an in-depth examination of your jewelry resulting in detailed pictures, word descriptions, and - most importantly - the values of gemstones and metal.
TIP: UniQ Jewelry Gallery offers free jewelry cleaning and inspection services. Drop by anytime during business hours to have us inspect your pieces with care. If any concerns need to be addressed, we can take them in and have them taken care of quickly while maintaining the integrity of your favorite jewelry.
Trade-in Your Outdated, Broken Jewelry
BEFORE
Does that old necklace not suit your style anymore? That broken ring in your jewelry box is just taking up space? With gold prices at an all-time high, now is definitely the time to bring in your unwanted, broken gold, platinum, and silver jewelry and receive cash in your pocket! Even better: receive an in-store credit (CASH Value + 25%) that can be used on ANYTHING in the store! Use it towards a custom project, loose diamonds or gemstones, new “bling” from the gallery, or repair work!
AFTER
May/June 2022
11
The Power of Mother/Daughter Relationships
Practicing Appreciation BY ASHLEY CARTER YOUNGBLOOD, LMSW, LMFT, CMHIMP
This month we get to celebrate Mother’s Day. What a wonderful opportunity to reflect on the one who gave us life! I challenge you, however, to not only reflect on your love for your mother, but to communicate it!
WHAT’S IN A NAME?
For some of us, our mothers are living and we are close to them. For others, our mothers are living but are far away, whether emotionally or geographically. For others still, we do not know our mothers or they have passed on. Regardless of your situation, I challenge you to consider during this month what exactly it means to be a “mother.” Your mother may have given birth to you. But, you also may have had a “mother” who was a teacher who encouraged you to follow your dreams. Your partner’s mother may offer you more unconditional love than your own biological mother has ever been able to. Perhaps you are not able to have the children you desperately want to have and can strive to be the “mother” that your lonely neighborhood kid needs.
128
May 2019
May/June 2022
FOR THOSE WHO ARE STRUGGLING
In my work as a psychotherapist, I have found that the mother/daughter relationship can be the strongest, most stable bond that gets a person through the hardest time of their life. But, it can also be one of the most naturally tumultuous relationships, depending on the circumstances. Sometimes the tension can be because we are so similar to our mothers –whether we care to admit it or not! Sometimes it is because we are so different. Whatever the reason for your love, or even if the thought of the relationship is burdened by hurts, for this month, practice finding one kernel of beauty in the relationship & speak it. If you can, speak it out loud to your mother, practicing your willingness to show appreciation for all that your mother has offered in your life. (Think about all of those late nights and dirty diapers!) If your mother is no longer living, speak it to
yourself in honor of her. If there is tension, see if there is one tiny area where you have gratitude, even if it is the stunning nose you inherited from her. It is not enough to just have people in our lives. Practice communicating your appreciation for them. Say “I love you,” “Thanks for all you have done for me,” just because. Share a special memory. Create a special monthly mother/daughter day. Use this month to not only honor the mother/ daughter relationship, but to engage in it and savor it. Ashley Carter Youngblood is a Ashley Carter Youngblood psychotherapist Certified LMSW, LMFT,and CMHIMP Mental Health Integrated of herProvider holistic psychotherapy Medicine at Inner practice in Kalamazoo, Inner PeacePeace Counseling, PLC Counseling, PLC.inShe Kalamazoo. Her specialties specializes in and has great include women’s passion for theissues, connection between nutrition and mental health and anxiety, holistic healing, and mindfulness. empower Find counseling out more women about to her at her themselves. website, More info at www.kalamazoo-counseling.com. www.kalamazoo-counseling.com.
WomensLifeStyleKazoo.com
moxiemediagroup.com
LICENSED MEMORY CARE ASSISTED LIVING
North Woods
Village
Kalamazoo
Our Community Features:
• State-of-the-art motion sensing technology in all resident suites
• Certified Dementia Practitioners on staff
• Licensed Nurse on-site 24/7 • “New Directions”® tiered programming tailored to each resident
Call today for more information and to schedule a tour. 269-397-2200
• Virtual Communication Center for families to stay connected
• Beautifully appointed & enclosed courtyard with walking paths
• Delicious chef-prepared meals & snacks
• Dedicated Non-Denominational chapel
• Respite stays welcomed
Stadium
Dr.
Speedway
131 94
131: Exit 36 I-94: Exit 72
9th St.
specifically designed for those with memory challenges
9th St.
• Safe & Secure community,
ium
.
Dr
ad
St
Harding’s
Parkview Ave
6203 Stadium Drive | Kalamazoo, MI 49009 www.NorthWoodsMemoryCare.com
May/June 2022
13
DON’T GHOST PEOPLE. I T ’S RU D E ! You’ve connected with a prospect or a client for conversation. Great dialogue begins, interest is shown, and you follow up as requested/ promised. And they disappear! They vanish with no reply and for no apparent reason. Or a text conversation dies when a client or colleague suddenly stops responding. No call back. Texts not returned. This pattern appears to be growing. You think you’ve established a positive dialogue with someone and then they’re suddenly gone. So, you’ve probably been on the receiving or giving end of “ghosting” at least once. “Ghosting is Normal Now. That’s Completely Bonkers,” reads the headline of a Washington Post article. Ghosting is slang, initially used with dating. Ghosting means that after the date you just ignore the other person and don’t reply to any of their messages, instead of saying that you’re not really interested. Today in business, ghosting is the practice of ending all communication and becoming uncontactable without any explanation. Ghosting has bled over from social life into our increasingly online, remote professional world. It needs to stop. It’s cowardly and, at a minimum, lousy business etiquette.
Are You Being Ghosted?
“There are different levels of ghosting,” said Wendy Walsh, a psychology professor named one of Time’s 2017 people of the year for her whistle-blowing that helped promote the #MeToo movement. Individual levels of ghosting include: • Lightweight ghosting. This is a slight maneuver to make a point about power. E.g., you got in a fight with a friend, and they didn’t text you back. • Midweight ghosting. You’ve met a person a
14
May/June 2022
handful of times and now they’re avoiding all your attempts to connect.
• Heavyweight ghosting. You’re involved in an intimate/sexual relationship and your partner suddenly disappears, blindsiding you.
The business world has equivalents to these individual situations — from lightweight, temporary loss of communication to total, sudden, irreparable loss of the entire working relationship for no apparent reason. Know that being ghosted is likely not your fault. Someone who ghosts you, rather than having a conversation about whatever their concerns are, is being incredibly unprofessional, thoughtless, and immature. They’re trying to take the easy way out through avoidance. Ghosting often happens without warning. Unfortunately, being ghosted professionally has a way of sabotaging your self-esteem if you take it personally. There’s confusion and no closure. When you aren’t given the chance to communicate and examine your own and others’ actions and choices, you might unwittingly spend too much time pondering questions like “What happened?” and “What did I do wrong?” If you’ve been ghosted after fair attempts to connect, let it go and move on.
Are You Ghosting?
Potentially, you’re ghosting others and you don’t even know it. It’s easy to see how we got here. Today’s technology allows us to avoid tough communication situations every day (and not just during a pandemic). Emails and texts sometimes fall through the cracks because we don’t know what to say, are afraid to admit we don’t understand what’s going on or are afraid to tell the truth. Ghosting someone, however, can eventually demolish your business reputation and break down other important relationships. Assuming
you don’t want that to happen, what are you so afraid of? It might be very uncomfortable, but it’s always professionally smart to clearly communicate, even at the end of a relationship. If you discover you’re guilty of ghosting, respond immediately to the other person’s last attempt at communication. There are no steps 2, 3 or 4, just one. Respond. Say “no thanks.” Or explain why you’ve been silent and give the person a date you’ll get back with them — and then stick to it.
The Benefits of Not Ghosting
The benefits of not ghosting outweigh any possible benefits you can think of for ghosting someone. • By keeping the lines of communication open and responding politely to information that has been sent to you, you’ll maintain smooth business relationships.
• Open communication will help you keep your business processes operating efficiently. • You’ll enhance your reputation as a responsive, competent professional.
• You’ll save time and repeated communication attempts won’t be needed.
• You’ll eliminate any fear/uneasiness around who is calling, which makes life more productive and relaxing all round. Show some class and respect, and close the conversation with a simple email, text or call stating “I’m not interested.” Both parties will be the better for it. Kelly Duggan Kelly is an Image Consultant specializing in executive and personal image development, etiquette & communication skills. She is a certified member of the Association of Image Consultants International. Contact Kelly at: www.kellyduggan.com.
moxiemediagroup.com
269.779.2900 AdvancingLives.myASEAlive.com Jacque@AdvancingLives.biz
I N D E P E N D E N T A S S O C I AT E
May/June 2022
15
Sweet Treats to
Delight Dad
1 ½ cups sugar 1 cup white sugar 2 Tbsp all-purpose flour 3 Tbsp cornstarch ½ teaspoon salt 1 cup water Preheat oven to 350°.
CARROT CAKE 1 ½ cups sugar
1 cup vegetable oil 3 large eggs
2 cups all-purpose flour 2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
3 cups shredded carrots 8 oz crushed pineapple (drained)
½ cup shredded coconut
Preheat oven to 350°.
Grease bottom and sides of 9x13 pan.
Stir until dry ingredients are well combined.
Slowly incorporate flour mixture (1/2 cup at a time) into the bowl containing the wet ingredients while mixing at medium-low speed. Beat batter on low speed for one minute. Add crushed pineapple and shredded coconut.
Beat batter on low speed for another minute.
Add shredded carrots and stir until well combined.
Pour batter into pan. In a large mixing bowl, combine sugar, oil, vanilla and Bake at 350° for 45 minutes or eggs. Mix until well combined. until toothpick inserted comes out clean. In a separate bowl, combine Allow cake to fully cool in pan. flour, cinnamon, baking soda Frost with cream cheese frosting. and salt. Cream Cheese Frosting 8 oz cream cheese, softened
¼ cup butter, softened 1 tsp vanilla
3 tsp whole milk, half & half, or heavy cream 3 cups confectioner’s sugar
*Note – this cake can be made as a layer cake, but it is extremely moist and dense and works best in a 9x13 pan as it tends to split if layered.
16
May/June 2022
Lemon Filling In a medium saucepan, whisk together 1 cup sugar, flour, cornstarch, and salt. Stir in water, lemon juice and lemon zest.
Cook over medium-high heat, stirring frequently, until mixture comes to a boil. Stir in butter.
Place egg yolks in a small bowl and gradually whisk in 1/2 cup of hot sugar mixture.
Whisk egg yolk mixture back into remaining sugar mixture.
3 lemons, juiced and zested 4 egg yolks, beaten (reserve whites for meringue) 1 (9 inch) pie crust, baked 4 egg whites 6 Tbsp white sugar
Bring to a boil and continue to cook while stirring constantly, until thick. Remove from heat.
Pour filling into baked pastry shell. Meringue In a large glass or metal bowl, whip egg whites until foamy.
Add sugar gradually and continue to whip until stiff peaks form.
Spread meringue over pie, sealing the edges at the crust. Bake in preheated oven for 10 minutes, or until meringue is golden brown.
LEMON MERINGUE PIE
Add cream cheese, butter, milk and vanilla to large mixing bowl. Beat ingredients on medium speed until creamed.
Add confectioner’s sugar ½ cup at a time until well incorporated.
Starting at 2 cups of confectioner’s sugar, I taste the frosting after each ½ cup sugar addition and stop once the desired sweetness is reached.
Heather Dombos Heather comes from a long, southern tradition of hospitality and hearty cooking. You can usually find her in the kitchen whipping up something special for family and friends.
moxiemediagroup.com
Are you invested properly? Get a second opinion. Call today for a Face to Face. Morgan S Yaw, AAMS® Financial Advisor
Ginger M Titus, AAMS® Financial Advisor
101 South Main Street Plainwell, MI 49080 269-685-1181
711 E Allegan St Otsego, MI 49078-1301 269-694-1548
Jill P Walsh, AAMS® Financial Advisor
Sandra M DeVito, AAMS® Financial Advisor
120 S Main Street Vicksburg, MI 49097 269-649-2463
186 South Grand St Schoolcraft, MI 49087 269-679-5900
edwardjones.com Member SIPC Copyright © 2022 Edward Jones. All rights reserved.
May/June 2022
17
Spring to Summer D RESS TR E N DS & TIPS
WHAT ISN’T IN STYLE Spring is in full swing now, with summer right around the corner. As a new season begins, some trends end. Some styles to consider retiring for spring - summer 2022 are: • Skinny jeans • Cold shoulder tops • Square necklines • Skater skirts • Bell sleeves • Loungewear as everyday wear
SPRING – SUMMER TRENDS Spring has arrived, along with some new trends for the season. Keep your eye out for these popular looks! Some popular styles this spring are: • Relaxed denim • Cargo pants • Leather jackets • Cutouts • Halter necks • Fringe • Cowboy & straight leg boots • Bright colors like light green, tangerine, and butter yellow • Bermuda shorts • Cardigans
COLORS OF THE SEASON With the new season comes
18
May/June 2022
some exciting new colors for your wardrobe. Don’t be afraid to go bold this spring with these vibrant shades! • Hot Pink • Lilac • Bright Yellow • Scarlet • Light Blue • Neon Green • Basil Green
HOW TO ELEVATE ANY OUTFIT Have you ever been caught under-dressed? No matter how basic your outfit, it can always be leveled up. Particularly as we move into the lazy days of summer, here are thirteen ways how: • Add extra layers • Add a tailored item • Add structured items or accessories • Exchange a loose-fitting item with a more fitted one • Cover up skin • Add a closed-toe shoe • A high heel • A pointy toe • Exchange coarse fabrics for smooth fabrics • Add shine or sheen (makeup, shoes, or garments) • Refined fabrics i.e., silk, wool, high-quality cotton • Exchange loose weaves for fine • Grooming
moxiemediagroup.com
IT’S A SELLER’S WORLD.
THINKING ABOUT SELLING? NOW MAY BE THE PERFECT TIME. IN TODAY'S HIGHLY COMPETITIVE MARKET, YOU’LL NEED STRONG, PROFESSIONAL GUIDANCE TO LEAD THE WAY.
From coaching you through my Home Readiness Program to ensure the highest market returns, to being diligent in my every move to get your offer accepted, no one works harder to help you achieve all your real estate goals. I LOOK FORWARD TO GUIDING YOU HOME. Ethel Wilkey-Downs, REALTOR® Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Michigan Real Estate
269.267.0515 ethelwilkey@bhhsmi.com fb.com/ethelwilkeyrealtor ethelwilkey.bhhsmichiganrealestate.com
May/June 2022
19
Stay & Play S DISCOVER ST. JOSEPH
ummer is almost here and it’s time to get outside and enjoy living in one of the most beautiful states in the country. Take a short drive west and spend a day with our newest readers in beautiful St. Joseph. Whether you are looking for a relaxing day on the water, family fun, great shopping, fine dining or an exceptional round of golf…
SILVER BEACH – One of Southwest Michigan’s premier destinations, 2,450 feet of pristine beach featuring beach volleyball courts, concessions and a playground there is something for everyone. If you need a little break from the beach, several other refreshing attractions are a short walk across Lake Street. WHIRLPOOL COMPASS FOUNTAIN – Michigan’s largest splash pad. Open to the public, the fountain offers 200 feet of splashing fun with water cannons that blast every 15 minutes. SILVER BEACH CENTER – Just north across Broad Street, located in the Silver Beach Center is the iconic Silver Beach Carousel. 48 unique carousel creatures and two chariots dance under 1000 twinkling lights. With 100 years of history and $3 per ride (discounts for multiple rides), this beautiful attraction is a must see for the entire family. The Silver Beach Center is also home to the Curious Kids Discovery Zone, which offers exciting exhibits for kids from 3 – 12 years old and the Shadowland Ballroom, a beautiful event venue.
St. Joe has something to offer everyone. 2014 May/June 2022
May 2019
WomensLifeStyleKazoo.com
moxiemediagroup.com
DOWNTOWN – Perched atop the bluff, downtown St. Joseph you will find a charming shopping district. Whether you are looking for beach necessities, stunning fashion or a sweet treat you won’t be disappointed. Downtown St. Joe is also home to a vibrant art scene; the gem being the Krasl Art Center. Offering high quality are exhibitions, classes, instillations and a beautiful permanent sculpture collection, Krasl is always on our to-do list. EVENTS – Summer in St. Joe is event season and there is something to do every weekend. Just 15 miles south in Bridgman, MI, the Makers Trail Festival showcases Southwest Michigan’s best beer, wine and spirits. Held June 8th at Weko Beach. St.Joseph’s gorgeous bluff is the home of the Krasl Art Fair on July 13th-14th. Featuring 200 artist vendors, food, music and a beer and wine garden, this is a must attend event. The Shadowland Pavillion hosts Summer Jam on August 3rd and features great live music. Visit the Southwest Michigan Tourist Council’s website at www.swmichigan.org for more information on these great summer events.
KALAMAZOO • PORTAGE • BATTLE CREEK ST. JOSEPH • SOUTH HAVEN
May 2019 May/June 2022 1521
DINING – There aren’t many things better than an ice cold drink and a delicious meal with a gorgeous view. Summer in Michigan is alfresco dining season and whether you are craving burgers and beer or a fine dining experience. The exceptional, local restaurants have got you covered. Silver Beach Pizza offers amazing, thin crust pizza and the coldest beer in town. Just tell you server, “Schooner me!” With 74 draft tap handles, The Buck Burgers & Brew offers diners the largest selection of draft beer in Southwest Michigan. Head out to their deck and enjoy an amazing burger while taking in the scenery. Ryebelle’s offers handcrafted cuisine with breathtaking views of Lake Michigan on their full service rooftop. Plank’s Tavern located in The Inn at Harbor Shores offers everything from pub fare to fine dining in a beautiful setting. Bistro on The Boulevard offers French inspired dishes with local ingredients (the mushroom soup is phenomenal). HARBOR SHORES–A premier destination for golfers throughout the Midwest. This Jack Nicklaus Signature Golf Course is home to the Kitchen Aid Senior PGA Championship (2020, 2022 & 2024) and with holes 7 – 9 located on Lake Michigan it is a golfer’s dream. After a long day of golf, relax and unwind in luxury at The Inn at Harbor Shores. Treat yourself to some pampering at The Spa at Harbor Shores or enjoy a handcrafted coffee drink at Rise & Vine. Enjoy dinner at one of the property's two restaurants and relax at the refreshing pool.
2216 May/June 2022
May 2019
WomensLifeStyleKazoo.com
moxiemediagroup.com
LOCAL & PROFESSIONAL
SLUMBER PARTY & GLAMPING EXPERTS WE CREATE UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCES FOR: Children’s or Adult Sleepovers Luxury Picnics • Bridal Showers Proposals • Baby Showers Party Decorating AND MORE! Simply choose your theme to pair with our super fun teepees & we will take care of the rest.
Book an Experience Today! Want to step your celebrating up a level? We offer yard card rentals too!
sweetdreamssleepoverskzoo.org
@ SweetDreamsKzoo
NOW ACCEPTING
new patients Empowering you to step fully into the life you want to live. Counseling is not only my profession, it is my passion and my calling. I am honored to walk with you through some of life’s most difficult seasons, to support and guide you into a healthier chapter. Learning to share thoughts, feelings, and concerns in a healthy way with yourself and others; counseling may be an extremely helpful resource for you to utilize.
Thee Ros Th osee
Shop
269.637.3252 | southhavenroseshop.com 764 LaGrange Street, South Haven, MI @southhavenroseshop
Kim Powers
Licensed Professional Counselor in Kalamazoo, MI 510.827.1305 kimpowers@counselorkimpowers.com heartsoulmindstrengthllc.com
May/June 2022
23
COMING FEBRUARY 18, 2023
JOIN US FOR A DAY OF FREE FAMILY FUN! Kalamazoo County Expo Center 2900 Lake Street | Kalamazoo, MI
• Bounce house & obstacle course • Heroes and characters who love to engage and pose for photos • Rocking musical performances
• Trick-or-Treating • Kid’s costume contest • Princess story time • Face painting
GREAT ACTIVITIES & FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY
VENDORS: There is still time to reserve your booth for the 2022 Expo (269) 870-7321 | info@moxiemediagroup.net | www.moxiemediagroup.com