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We Now Offer Telemedicine! The following services are available via Telemedicine: • Discussion of birth control options: different types, side effects, benefits, what’s best for you
• Medication follow up or new requests
• Preconception or pre-pregnancy consultation for couples intending to start trying in the near future
• Decreased libido (sex drive)
• Menopause: what it means, what to expect, what you can do, what you should do • Peri-menopause: what to expect, how to manage it, what women should be doing • Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome: what it is, why people develop PCOS, how to best manage it if you’re planning a pregnancy, what to do to prevent other complications of PCOS • Some post ops – physician will tell us or patient if Telehealth is appropriate
• Painful sex • UTI • Vaginitis • Painful or irregular periods • Review of abnormal lab results and imaging studies • Anxiety or concerns around the current Corona virus pandemic to get most recent updates from our office • Post-Partum follow-ups
Call our office to schedule an appointment - (269) 345-6197. Please verify with your insurance company how Telemedicine is covered.
PROVIDERS: Carter O. Lomax, Jr., MD, FACOG Joseph L. Riethman, MD, FACOG Marcia L. Johnson, MD, FACOG Wendy L. Bauer, MD, FACOG Carly H. Davis, MD, FACOG Jennifer K. O’Neill, DO Brittany J. Post, WHNP-BC
OB-GYN, P.C. 269.345.6197 2854 S 11th St Kalamazoo, MI www.obgynpc.com
MacKenzie L. Arnold, WHNP-BC Patricia R. Zull, CNM, FNP-BC
November 2020
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FROM THE PUBLISHER
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WELCOM E TO NOVE M BER! I don’t know about you, but for me it is hard to believe that we are almost ready to close the book on 2020. I am fairly certain that this has been the longest and shortest year of my life. While I prefer the warmth and light of summer, my favorite season is the holiday season, and I am so excited that we have finally made it to the holidays!! This edition has everything you need to get ready for what will probably be a little different, but equally incredible Thanksgiving. Turkey tips, delicious recipes for a small Thanksgiving gathering, and our annual holiday shopping gift guide are just a few of the fun and informative pieces waiting for you inside this edition of Moxie.
dream deferred in 2020, I am just filled with gratitude. I am so thankful for family and friends and all of the love and encouragement they have given. I am also incredibly grateful for you, the readers of Moxie Magazine. Thank you for continuing to support Women’s LifeStyle of Southwest Michigan as we made our big transition to Moxie Magazine. We could not make this happen every month without you. So from the bottom of my heart, I say thank you, and I can’t wait to see all of the wonderful things 2021 holds for each of us. I hope no matter how large or small your Thanksgiving guest list is this year, that you make sure to surround yourself with happiness, love, and thankfulness. From my family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving! Warm Wishes,
In a year having been filled with so many highs and lows, my overwhelming emotion as I write this letter to you is thankfulness. As I reflect on every challenge faced and every
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CELEBRATING YEAR ANNIVERSARY
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contents
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HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE
LIFE 14 18 21 24 36 42
| Sitting with the Grace of Thanksgiving | Is There an Upside to This Year? | Exploration of a COVID Rorschach | Finding Happiness at Home This Holiday | Nail That Interview | Oh, Oh I May Have Fell, For Kalamazoo
LOCAL 10 | 5 Best Spots for your Morning Brew, In Kalamazoo 12 | Seniors Seeking Pen Pals 26 | The Crossroads Mall Gift Guide 32 | Spirits in the Time of a Pandemic: Green Door Distillery
EST SPOTS FOR YOUR MORNING 10 BBREW, IN KALAMAZOO
HEALTH 6 | Why Self Care? 22 | Helping You Get to the Best You at Parkway Plastic Surgery 30 | What is Avoidance Costing You? 34 | A Letter About Letting Go
FOOD & DRINK 8 | Let’s Talk Turkey 40 | Restaurant Review: Lucky Rooster 38 | Recipes: Thankgiving Dinner - Garlic & Herb Butter Roasted Turkey Breast - Sweet Potato Casserole - Sausage & Sage Cornbread Dressing - Broccoli Cheddar Casserole - Pumpkin Gooey Cake - Perfect Pecan Pie
HANKSGIVING 38 TDINNER RECIPES THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE IT HAPPEN PUBLISHER: Heather Dombos hdombos@moxiemediagroup.net LAYOUT & DESIGN: Alicia Pauwels apauwels@moxiemediagroup.net EDITOR: Lalita Chemello lchemello@moxiemediagroup.net
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Cricket Alexander Emily Betros Kim Carson Ashley Carter-Youngblood Kelly Duggan Rachel Kirtley Heidi McCrary Jenny Opdycke Dr. Marti Peters-Sparling
THIS PUBLICATION PROUDLY SUPPORTS
Elizabeth Precopio Hannah Reuter WEBSITES: moxiemagazine.net moxiemediagroup.net moxiemastermind.net kzoofamilyexpo.com FOR SALES INFO: 269-350-5227
BY MAIL: Moxie Media Group, LLC P. O. Box 2284 Portage, MI 49081-2284 BY EMAIL: info@moxiemediagroup.net editor@moxiemediagroup.net sales@moxiemediagroup.net
November 2020
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Why self care? "If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” - Buddha Many women are naturally empathic. Some of us are especially so in this COVID climate, because we may bear witness to the intimate struggles of our friends, families, and coworkers while we offer our ears and our hearts to them. We may be overwhelmed by working from home, home-schooling our children, and trying to keep our hair from going grey. Amidst all of the unrest at home and in our world today, we owe the most compassion of all … to ourselves. Caring for oneself is no longer seen as “selfish,” but as vital to our well-being. If caring for others comes easier than caring for yourself, then this article is for you. It is time to learn the practice of self-care. As a therapist, I help people from all walks of life learn how to practice self-care, as it is critical to our physical and mental health. It combats anxiety, depression and burnout, while increasing mood and life satisfaction. Below are some steps to get you on your way to feeling the self-love!
STEP 1) L EARN YOUR ABC’S: Awareness, Balance & Connection
Develop an awareness around your own needs, emotions, resources and your own limits! Engage in a balanced practice of work, play, caregiving, and being taken care
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of by others. Grow the connection to yourself, others and to something larger than all of us. Knowing your ABC’s can be the difference between burnout and fatigue, to flat-out flourishing in your life.
STEP 2) DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE “B” WORD: Boundaries
Create realistic expectations based on healthy boundaries. In action, this means: Say no more than yes sometimes, and if guilt sets in, smash it like a Whac-A-Mole. Guilt and shame do not reside in "Self-Careville." Boundaries are not about pushing people away, but about putting yourself first. Setting a boundary with your family, a boss, a colleague or a friend is an act of self-care, and the only approval we truly need is from ourselves.
STEP 3) DESIGN YOUR PLAN, STAN!: A “Self-Care Plan”
This will be as unique as you are and should include a routine to refuel when you are low on fumes. For some it may be journaling, playing their favorite music, saying no to those who continuously ask a lot of you, guided meditation, yoga, a detox from social media, sticking positive post-it notes around your house, setting boundaries with a boss, eating healthy, having a good sleep routine or cuddling with your dog. Whatever you
choose, it WILL have mood-boosting and selfesteem building benefits.
Some questions to consider when making your plan are: What are some things that
comfort me? Who are my top three favorite people to spend time with? Who are my three least-favorite people to spend time with? What small steps can I make toward fulfilling all of my senses? What things had I dreamed of doing? What small steps can I make to inch toward reaching some of these dreams? These prompts will help you create a plan that gives you respite when you need it most. Self-care is a practice, like many things worth doing, and by making yourself the lucky beneficiary, you are saying to yourself that you are worth it. Your self-care routine will breed hope, optimism, adventure, and peace of mind. Cricket Alexander Cricket Leigh Alexander, LMSW, is a licensed clinical therapist and former performing artist based in Kalamazoo. She works with both adolescents and adults on life’s small and large challenges. Cricket sees people on Zoom all over the U.S. and carries on training on Self-Care, Trauma 101, and the intersection of Performing Artists and Mental Health.
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Let’s Talk Turkey TIPS FOR YOUR 2020 THANKSGIVING
J
BY HEATHER DOMBOS
ust like everything else in 2020, Thanksgiving will look quite different from years past. This year’s Thanksgiving trend will be small, scaleddown meals cooked by many of us who have yet to tackle Turkey Day. Moxie Magazine has some simple tips to help you channel your inner professional "Chef-Hostess-Extraordinaire" this holiday season.
• K.I.S.S. – “Keep it Simple Sweetie” by serving a limited menu
and aim for five items (check out our complete Thanksgiving meal, starting on page 38).
• Plan on 1 to 1 ½ pounds of turkey per guest.
• Don’t forget that your turkey will take 3-4 days to thaw in the refrigerator, so plan accordingly. For Thursday turkey, the latest you want to pick up your bird is Monday.
• If you are hosting a limited gathering, opt for turkey breast instead of a whole bird. • Make a schedule for your shopping and food prep. Remember
that pies can easily be made on Wednesday to free up time and oven space on Thanksgiving morning.
• Remember to plan for Wednesday night dinner and Thanksgiving day breakfast. Have quick and easy options for both of these meals. You don’t want to make any more work for yourself than necessary. Order a pizza (do it early as the Wednesday before Thanksgiving is BUSY) for dinner and grab some pastries from your favorite bakery to serve with coffee on Thanksgiving morning.
• Pre-made dinner rolls, pie crusts, cranberry sauce & mashed potatoes (found in the refrigerator section of your supermarket) are simple, delicious, and take a lot of stress off of the “chef”.
• Our most important tip – what is on the table is not nearly as important as who is around it. Take time to enjoy your day with
the people who mean the most to you. If you aren’t able to be with your friends and family, make time for a Zoom or Skype call or just make sure to pick up the phone and share the love.
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November 2020
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5
BEST SPOTS FOR YOUR MORNING BREW, IN KALAMAZOO
Fall is in the air, making it the perfect time of year to cozy up with an espresso or pumpkin spice latte at one of our many coffee shops around Kalamazoo. While Kalamazoo is especially known as a craft beer town, it is quickly becoming known for its craft coffee as well.
Rachel Kirtley has worked in all levels of the food industry for over a decade. She is currently a Social Media Influencer, Content Creator and Restaurant Reviewer. You can visit her at thekalamazoofoodie.com
1-SOMETHING’S BREWING
2 - WA L N U T & PA R K C A F E
The first to stand out is Kalamazoo’s first and oldest coffee shop, Something’s Brewing. Located in downtown Kalamazoo, it is perfect walking distance to the Kalamazoo Mall to walk while sipping your brew. If you choose to stay and visit, they have cozy space by the window or the back of the shop. Something’s Brewing was first opened in 1984 and is still in the original location, with a few updates on the décor. They offer some unique craft java drinks from their WhatchaMintCall-It with chocolate, peanut butter, and mint to your traditional mocha or caramel latte.
As their website states, there is a lot more to Walnut & Park than a rich batch of brew or a fresh blueberry muffin. Their story begins with the people behind the espresso machine. Most of Walnut & Park employees are residents of KPEP, an innovative community corrections provider based here in Kalamazoo. The men and women who prepare the lattes, cinnamon rolls, sandwiches and salads are students or graduates of the KPEP culinary arts program — a vocational program developed in partnership with Canteen Services and the Michigan Career & Technical Institute. After a 10-week training program, men and women who have been incarcerated are equipped with the job skills they need to help turn their lives around, live independently and contribute to the community. How awesome is that?
Something’s Brewing also offers pour-overs, espresso, freshly brewed coffee, and they are always rotating homemade breakfast sandwiches, scones, quiche and other delicious baked goods. Calling all pumpkin spice lovers, they also offer a delicious Pumpkin Spice Latte ALL YEAR LONG! It is probably my most favorite pumpkin spice latte around. Something’s Brewing is also kid-friendly and offers non-coffee options like french sodas, lemonade, iced tea and fruit smoothies. Something’s Brewing is currently offering Dine-in and food & coffee to-go.
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November 2020
All of the products Walnut & Park offers are made from scratch, in-house. They offer muffins, scones, danishes, breakfast burritos and sandwiches, salads, wraps, and soup for lunch. It is the perfect spot to grab breakfast or lunch and help support our community. They are currently offering dine-in, and food and coffee to go as well.
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3 - FA C T O R Y C O F F E E
Factory Coffee is a small, family-owned coffee roastery and café. They roast their coffee right here at home with a zero-emissions roaster, reducing the carbon footprint of every pound of coffee by 90%! With over 20 years of coffee experience, Factory Coffee strives to offer the highest quality coffee possible. You can visit their original location with still-lingering industrial vibes and a unique look. Factory Coffee also offers food options including waffles on
a stick, breakfast sandwiches and a lunch special using biscuit and bread baked by The Victorian Bakery. You can also find their coffee at local farmers markets, and now at their coffee bar located inside the PFC Grocery store. For the extreme of coffee lovers, you can get a monthly subscription of three 12 oz bags delivered to your doorstep every month. To find their locations and see available subscriptions, visit their website at www.factorycoffee.com.
4 - WAT E R S T R E E T C O F F E E
A staple here in Kalamazoo and Portage, Water Street Coffee offers more than just great coffee. Variety is key as they prepare an amazing breakfast and lunch menu, and in the evening, cocktails. Each location offers house-roasted coffee, a full espresso bar, loose-leaf tea, shakes, smoothies and homemade food. And as fall is in the air, Water Street is now offering their fan-favorite Sweet Potato Pumpkin Turnover, as well as new additions like their Pumpkin Cream Cheese
Mini Coffee Cake, Fall Harvest Salad, Salted Caramel Coconut Macaron and much more! If you have yet to see the Portage location, I highly recommend it (I particularly love it myself). It offers three levels of indoor seating, outdoor seating, and is by far the largest of the locations. The Portage location also offers a cozy fireplace for the cooler months, and makes for the perfect hangout for an outing with friends for breakfast, lunch, or early dinner and cocktail.
5 - R O S E G O L D C O F F E E C O M PA N Y
This is another shop you will not want to miss downtown (and it is within walking distance to the Kalamazoo Mall). The owners think coffee needs a new ‘flavor,’ if you will, in Kalamazoo. There are a lot of shops that have been here for a long time and stayed the same. Rose Gold wanted to take a step forward into modern coffee and try new things.
Rose Gold Coffee serves pour-overs and filtered coffees, manual brews and hand-crafted espressos using freshly roasted coffee beans from Pittsburgh-based Commonplace Coffee Company and Michigan-based Littlefoot Coffee Roaster. For your appetite you can find vegan-friendly cookies, muffins, scones, sticky buns,
cheesecake, pie and beer bread—all made with ingredients from the Natural Health Center in Westwood Plaza. Milk options are aplenty, and non-milk options to cater to those who are lactose intolerant or nut-allergic. Homemade flavorings including lavender, vanilla, pumpkin & caramel, offer sweet notes to your coffee drinks.
No matter which local coffee shop you choose to visit, each one is unique in its own way. Each of these amazing locations offers something for everyone. I encourage you to visit them all to support your local community during these tough times. Let me know what your favorite coffee shop or coffee is and tag me at @thekalamazoofoodie! I would love to hear your feedback. It’s coffee season! Really, every day is a good time for coffee. November 2020
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Seniors Seeking Pen Pals BY HANNAH REUTER
Due to the COVID-19 outbreak, many of our elderly have been left isolated from the community. Although, this didn’t stop the Plainwell Life Care Center from searching for a safe and creative way to bring the community to them by linking them with people to write letters. The statewide lockdown has been hard on the seniors, many of whom have not been able to see their loved ones or engage with others outside of the center. Even with the programs and fun distractions, the staff at Plainwell knew they wanted more for their residents’ happiness. Forming connections are an important part of who we are and in this fragile time, we need that more than ever. Staff directors, Tyler Connors and Brittany Zeman, came up with the pen pal plan prior to the pandemic, not realizing how necessary it would become when visitations were put on hold for safety precautions during the height of the pandemic. Even as outdoor visitation was again permitted, they desired another alternative to help their patrons remain connected. At first, only a few were interested in participating in the program and those individual’s photos were posted on the center’s social media with the topics they enjoyed discussing. Now over 50 people from the center are looking for writing buddies — and age doesn’t matter. Their interests are wide-ranging
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November 2020
and the conversations they desire diverse, from church enjoyment to the outdoorsy and music loving. Does this sound like something you would enjoy? For those interested in writing to someone from the Plainwell Life Care Center, the address is provided below. If you want more details regarding whom to write your letter to or what gifts to send, call Brittany at (269) 685-4325. She will be happy to discuss what the residents desire from their pen pals. They also have a Facebook page available and a contact form on their website, lifecarecenterofplainwell.com. COVID has been tough on everyone; especially people with limited options, like our senior citizens and those with medical problems that are more susceptible to the disease. We all require human connection and interaction, and in a time like this, it is important to come together in any way we can.
So, pick up a pen and write your letter to a future friend. Plainwell Life Care Center 320 Brigham Street Plainwell, MI 49080
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IT’S A SELLER’S WORLD.
THINKING ABOUT SELLING? NOW MAY BE THE PERFECT TIME. IN TODAY'S HIGHLY COMPETITIVE MARKET, YOU’LL NEED STRONG, PROFESSIONAL GUIDANCE TO LEAD THE WAY.
From coaching you through my Home Readiness Program to ensure the highest market returns, to being diligent in my every move to get your offer accepted, no one works harder to help you achieve all your real estate goals. I LOOK FORWARD TO GUIDING YOU HOME. Ethel Wilkey-Downs, REALTOR® Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Michigan Real Estate
269.267.0515 ethelwilkey@bhhsmi.com fb.com/ethelwilkeyrealtor ethelwilkey.bhhsmichiganrealestate.com
November 2020
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SITTING WITH THE
Grace of Thanksgiving
W
henever I think of November, I think of trees changing colors, crisp autumn breezes, cozy sweaters, hot drinks…and gratitude — giving thanks for the blessings of the season at tables laden with food and surrounded by their family in celebration of Thanksgiving. However, for many this season will be very different. Some families are choosing not to gather to protect vulnerable members from COVID. Empty chairs around the dinner table honor loved ones lost to COVID, suicide, overdose and many other misfortunes. Many families have suffered significant financial losses — facing the terror of unemployment, unpaid bills and eviction. Political discord escalates, leaving many feeling disgusted and overwhelmed.
IN THE FACE OF SUCH DARKNESS, HOW CAN WE BE GRATEFUL? Learning to embrace a gratitude practice is not about denying the reality of human pain and suffering. It’s about learning how to sit with what is scary and uncomfortable, and choosing to rise. Once we explore the shadow aspects of being human, we discover that we can transcend the limitations of the Ego.
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November 2020
The Ego is the part of consciousness that drives physical survival. It is fear-based, selfish, competitive and ridden with anxiety, rooted in scarcity and lack — this belief that there is never enough. When the body feels fear and pain, it is only natural that the Ego reacts with urgency and desperation. The Ego craves SAFETY, and much of 2020 has been anything but.
each person truly is. We awaken out of the slumber of the mundane and start cherishing every moment we are given.
Through awareness, we can learn to identify the Ego and choose to soften into love and compassion, and making a conscious decision to choose LOVE and GRATITUDE. It is a practice, and it is never perfect. Remember, perfection does not exist. Some days are easier than others.
With practice, you can further choose to create space and ask, “What would Love do?” You will know it’s Love because Love heals. Love is a resonant frequency that is universally recognized. It dissolves fear while inspiring courage, strength and wisdom. Love serves the Highest Good, and there is always enough — enough to quiet the Ego with its safety.
By validating this experience, we can choose to soften into self-compassion. As we learn to create the space we need, we can tend to the needs of our being, soothing the Ego and awakening out of the nightmarish, dystopian life experience. Healing happens: First with the self, then with our communities. As we learn to see our community’s loss, fear and grief, hearts open to kindness, gentleness and appreciation. Times of tragedy and massive change remind us of the fragility of life and how precious
Look around, there is always something or someone to appreciate: the beauty of nature, your favorite song, a deep and cleansing breath, a new day to try again, a random act of kindness .... You can choose who you want to be in each experience.
And for that, I am so very grateful. Jenny Opdycke Jenny Opdycke, PA-C has been practicing medicine for more than 16 years. Her specialties include holistic wellness, anxiety/depression, trauma recovery and intuitive, low carb eating strategies that promote self-awareness and healing. She loves spending time with her twin girls, friends, and fur babies. More info at www.integratedhealthmatters.com.
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FAMILY SEWING IS HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE WE HAVE ADDED JUKI TO OUR FAMILY!
NEW JUKI MACHINES, SERGERS, AND SERVICE AVAILABLE! 4950 Wilson Avenue SW | (616) 538-8885 www.familysewing.com South of Rivertown Crossings Across from Costco
November 2020
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Holiday Gift Guide
Support local businesses this holiday season with these creative holiday gift ideas.
UNIQ JEWELRY GALLERY 3940 West Centre Avenue | Portage, MI (269) 459-1669 | www.uniqjewelry.com
VANDENBERG FURNITURE
12000 N US Highway 131 Schoolcraft, MI | (269) 679-4055 www.vandenbergfurniture.com
So much more than your typical jewelry store, UniQ Jewelry features one-of-a-kind pieces, custom and designer jewelry, unique engagement rings/wedding sets, and distinctive gifts - all from FUN to FINE...for all occasions! When you give the gift of a UniQ piece or gift card, the bag says it all! Brighten your home for the holidays with beautiful lamps, clocks, wall art, and other home accessories specially priced for the season.
SKIN CARE CENTER GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE! PARKWAY PLASTIC SURGERY 575 W. Crosstown Parkway | Kalamazoo www.parkwayps.com | 269.343.5750
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November 2020
ASEA – JACQUE JENNINGS-CARTER (269) 779-2900 | www.advancinglives.myasealive.com Your skin is one of the first things a person notices about you, so taking care of it is important. This holiday give the gift of beautiful, healthy skin with ASEA and Renu Advanced products.
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BABY LOCK JOY SEWING MACHINE
FAMILY SEWING
4950 Wilson Avenue SW | Grandville, MI (616) 538-8885 | www.familysewing.com
The Baby Lock Joy sewing machine is the perfect choice for beginning sewers looking to add to their crafting opportunities or make small sewing projects around the house. You’ve just discovered the genuine joy of sewing! FREE lessons with any machine purchase!
THE AROMA LABS
326 W Kalamazoo Ave #309 | Kalamazoo, MI (269) 532-3339 | www. thearomalabs.com
The Aroma Labs offers a fun, unique, and interactive experience creating a personal fragrance. Give a one-of-akind experience with an e-gift certificate to The Aroma Labs.
GIVE THE GIFT OF ART!
LAYLA’S COOL POPS
1336 Portage St | Kalamazoo, MI (269) 767-8499 | laylascoolpops.com
Make the holidays even sweeter with Layla’s Cool Pops. Cupcakes, cookie pops, brownies, rice krispie treats, cake pops, and pretzel sticks are just some of the many delictable desserts you can pick up at Layla’s Cool Pops. We love custom orders! Contact us today and we can help select the right treats for your holiday gathering or gift basket.
COLORS & COCKTAILS THE MOBILE ART PARTY!
326 W. Kalamazoo Ave, Studio 309 | Kalamazoo
Gift Cards Available. Take advantage of Holiday Special: BUY 3 ITEMS, GET THE 4TH ITEM FREE!
November 2020
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|
ONE WOMAN'S OPINION |
Is there an
upside to this year?
W
ith circumstances beyond her control, the businesswoman temporarily closed her shop. When she was finally able to re-open, it came with so many restrictions and she contemplated whether it was even worth keeping her doors open. Masks, social distancing, late shipments, payroll …. To say the least, 2020 has been a rollercoaster that traveled in only one direction … down. With so many stories such as this, it might be easy to wish this year away and hope that on January 1st, 2021, we all wake up from what we can collectively call, “a year that sucked.” But as I walked through my neighborhood this past autumn, a family pedaled past me, and the young boy laughed at his sister who was proudly riding a bike just recently void of training wheels. As I passed a house, I pick up a tomato from a table set in the front yard. On the small stand read a sign,
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November 2020
"Please take one." An elderly gentleman waved to me from his front porch as I continued my walk.
◊ This is the year neighbors reconnected, setting up chairs on the front porch and actually sitting in those chairs.
This is 2020. Good or bad, it has changed us all. While I don’t pretend it hasn’t come without serious consequences, it also came with a positive wave that we cannot ignore. We are strong, and we can and will grow from a global event that has knocked us off our feet.
◊ This is the year we have a strong female VP candidate on a major ticket. (Let’s hope we get this one right.)
One only needs to look at the local bicycle shop, where bikes flew out the door this summer as people reconnected with nature — embracing the simple enjoyment of riding a bike as a family activity. And home improvement stores exploded with customers deciding that this was as good a time as any to finally add the deck, redo the bathroom, or put in the garden they had been talking about doing for years.
AS I SET DOWN MY ROSE-COLORED GLASSES, I CAN STILL SEE THE UPSIDE TO 2020. ◊ This is the year Heather Dombos took her magazine in an exciting new direction— launching Moxie Magazine. ◊ This is the year families rediscovered their local golf course, introducing their children to an outdoor activity that had been on the decline in recent years.
◊ This is the year many people found time to pick up a book again, and discovered the delightfully quirky “Schitt’s Creek” or enjoyed binge-watching all seven seasons of “The West Wing” on Netflix. ◊ This is the year many women found their roots — literally. And decided to celebrate their natural grey. Perhaps, as we look back, we can say, “I lived through 2020 and I’m a better person for it.” Here’s to 2021. Let’s all hope it’s a little less … surprising. Heidi McCrary Heidi McCrary is a writer and a regular contributor to Moxie Magazine. Her debut novel, “Chasing North Star,” is available now at Kazoo Books, This is a Bookstore, Schuler Books, Barnes and Noble, and online wherever books are sold. Follow Heidi at heidimccrary.net and fb.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor
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|
RESTAURANT REVIEW |
MILANO FLATBREAD
1299 Columbia Ave E Battle Creek, MI HOURS
MONDAY-SATURDAY: 11:30am - 10:00pm SUNDAY: 12pm- 6pm
LUCKY ROOSTER DIP
A
s the weather turns cooler and the leaves begin to fall, I tend to lean more into comfort food. Italian cuisine always appears to fit that bill, so I met up with a couple of old friends at LUCKY ROOSTER KITCHEN & COCKTAILS in Battle Creek for good conversation with a nice meal. Upon arrival we were ushered to our table near the back, giving me an opportunity to check out the entire restaurant. Out front is a nice patio for warmer days, inside: a large open dining area complete with a fireplace, a bar area with several television sets, and an open kitchen to watch the busy chefs prepare your meal. Along with ordering drinks, we decided on an appetizer to share. We could not pass up on the LUCKY ROOSTER DIP. If it was named for the restaurant it HAD to be good, right? And it was! The dip was a creamy blend of melted gouda cheese with sauteed sweet peppers, onions, salty bacon, brown mustard and a bit of Bell’s Brown Amber, served with tortilla chips.
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Next were the entrees. I had my eyes on the SHORT RIB MARSALA, which my friend had ordered first. I settled on my next choice, the MILANO FLATBREAD, and my other friend went with the SALMON. And when they came out, each contained a great deal of food! My friend’s Short Rib Marsala was a heaping pile of their house made pappardelle (think extra fat egg-noodle fettuccine) tossed in mushrooms, braised short rib and marsala sauce, topped with parmesan. And of course, included a breadstick. The flavors were simple on their own, but together were great. The portion was so large, he had to take some home for a later meal, but he really enjoyed it, and even I had a tasty bite. Our other friend loved her Salmon, which had been grilled and topped vegetables sauteed in garlic and wine, with parmesan polenta and a champagne cream sauce over top. I was not able to get a bite of the salmon, but the polenta was exquisite, and I’m sure provided a good texture to the salmon and veggies. She raved about it, and finished the entire plate!
SALMON
The Milano Flatbread was the perfect blend of some of my favorite foods and flavors: Crispy flatbread topped with a five-cheese blend, basil pesto, fresh spinach, crispy bacon, dried cherries, red onion and smoked blue cheese. I loved it. The cherries really added a nice sweetness and contrast to the other more savory flavors, and the veggies tasted fresh. It was a good amount of food without being overly stuffed! I really enjoyed the Lucky Rooster. Our service was great, the atmosphere is cute, hip and roomy and it felt very clean. They appeared to take all precautions very seriously, which additionally made us feel safe. And with delicious food that was fresh, flavorful and large portions, I would recommend Lucky Rooster as a great spot to gather for your next meal out! Elizabeth Precopio Elizabeth Precopio is a hairstylist by day and 24/7 food enthusiast. She visits restaurants in the Kalamazoo area and blogs about her experience at feedmekzoo.com
moxiemagazine.net
EXPLORATION OF A
COVID Rorschach BY LALITA CHEMELLO
TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU SEE? Near the dawn of the COVID-19 lockdown, Brenda Fettig Murphy found herself bored rather quickly. Having watching just about everything she could watch via stream, her boredom and cabin fever drove her to begin spending time in her studio to create — resulting in a creative outlet for Murphy’s frustration in being severely couped up. Eyes closed, pencil set to paper she would draw ‘til she stopped. With an array of mixed media including pens and markers, she colored her creation in to fill the gaps of her own interpretation. The completed work made its very first appearance on her Facebook and Instagram, asking followers to share what they saw in what she deems her “squiggles.” The response, was surprising, with followers approaching the drawings much like a Rorschach image … the depictions quite varied among participants. So intrigued by the response, while enjoying the interaction with her followers, Brenda continued the project, posting her drawings near daily through the first parts of the pandemic. Realizing she had enough work she could share in a different form of medium, Brenda compiled a selection of pieces into a book, Squiggling Thru COVID-19: How this Artist Kept from Going Nuts during the Pandemic! The 42-page book shares Brenda’s thoughts and process going into the creations, as well as favorite interpretations of her work as coined by her followers. A favorite of this writer’s? “Day 43” (Murphy captions it, “I had a REALLY bad day.”—of which one could easily relate.) The final three pages are allotted to create your own “squiggle” drawings as well, encouraging you to pick up a pencil and create a little art yourself.
Brenda’s book can be purchased on Amazon for you and yours to be entertained and inspired. You can also follow her book and other art on her Facebook page at Brenda Murphy Art.
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HELPING YOU GET T O T H E B E S T Y O U AT
Parkway Plastic Surgery BY LALITA CHEMELLO
S
upple, more youthful-looking skin. Breast reductions. Body Contouring. Breast reconstruction. Repair of traumatic injuries. These are just some of the goals of care addressed at Parkway Plastic Surgery. It is more than just what are the typical procedures associated with plastic surgery in the stereotypical commercial plastic surgery world — they provide tools and advice to help you achieve a better, healthier, radiant you. With over 70 years combined in their fields, both Dr. Steven Nitsch, plastic surgeon, and Julie Powell, aesthetician and skin care specialist, are the leaders of a team of providers
here to give you advice and assist you in your endeavors to be your best self. Whether skin care or surgical procedures, there is a combined focus on the essentials of quality client care from consultation through procedure, and recovery, ensuring a superlative experience and the best in personal care. Lalita Chemello Lalita Chemello is our Editor, Writer and occasional photog. Her 13 years of writing has landed features with Panorama, published poetry and even a short film. She spends any extra time she can quenching her wanderlustian needs by finding new places to adventure with her other half, writing, or playing with their motorized toys.
- PRIVATE SURGICAL SUITE - COMPLETELY CONFIDENTIAL •
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osmetic & Reconstructive C Breast Surgery Botox & Injectable Fillers
November 2020
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Cosmetic Facial Improvements Body Contouring
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Micro-needling, Chemical Peels, and Custom Facials COOLSCULPTING - FDA Approved & Certified Practice
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Fraxel re:store Laser Resurfacing
575 W. Crosstown Parkway Kalamazoo, MI 49008 269.343.5750
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Mon-Thurs: 8 AM to 4 PM Fri: 8 AM to 12 PM
www.parkwayps.com
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As a board-certified plastic surgeon, Dr. Nitsch is here because he enjoys what he does and the difference it makes in the lives of his patients. The spontaneous visit to the office from previous patients to thank him for an excellent outcome, remind him of his unique opportunity to help others with surgery. The smiles from satisfied patients never dulls. He recognizes that transparency and honesty are needed in the relationship with his patients so they can be comfortable and confident about a surgical procedure. From the initial examination and consultation explaining the procedure and its risks, benefits and costs through surgery to follow-up, it all adds up to an informed patient working with an understanding surgeon and allows for unparalleled outcomes in the healthcare experience.
Steven M. Nitsch, MD COMPREHENSIVE PLASTIC SURGICAL CARE
Consistent care and availability for questions or concerns are cornerstones of quality care and paramount in the Parkway Plastic Surgery office. Dr. Nitsch
Clients start with a complimentary consult to help clients address skin care concerns and provide them with the best possible solution. As a certified Cosmetologist, Certified Skin Care Specialist and Certified Laser Technician, she offers skin care treatments such as micro-needling, CoolSculpting®, Fraxel, Thermage® and other specialty skin treatments.
CERTIFIED LASER TECHNICIAN SKIN CARE SPECIALIST
Favorite Procedures: Maxillofacial trauma and breast reductions. Most breast reductions are life-changing experiences — they can have a different lifestyle, wardrobe, activity — they even become more outgoing because they no longer hide their chest. They can move! Years in the Industry: 35 years
Home Life: Married 44 years, 3 kids
Outside of Work: Enjoys flying (has been for 15 years), hiking, biking, camping, RV travel, gardening, hunting, fishing, kayaking—most anything that keeps him outdoors.
“The most rewarding things are the smaller things.” Julie’s first love is skin care. Her joy lies in seeing her clients’ expressions as they watch their skin continue to improve after treatments. It is that elation, combined with their renewed self-confidence that keeps her incredibly passionate about her work in the skin care field.
Julie Powell
is part of the direct communication, which is available 24 hours a day for evaluation of any concerns following surgery or procedures. Flexibility of care schedules allows for minimal disruption in patient schedules if concerns arise and every attempt is made to avoid hospital or emergency room visits.
sun-damaged skin. Her goal is to help you maintain healthy, radiant skin.
Favorite Procedures: Running the machines — you can see results faster and the technology is truly amazing. That and clients are happier, seeing their skin improving over time. “It’s amazing to me in my 31 years of doing skin care how much we’ve advanced — from only doing facials in the beginning to now using machines to enhance and help reduce some sun-damaged skin.” Years in the Industry: 31 years
Home Life: One daughter (who does marketing for Whole Foods!)
Outside of Work: Being outside as She’s been practicing skin care and cosmetic much as weather permits, especially in the summer. She never forgets to bring along treatments for nearly 32 years, having run her own business for 10 years in 1989 before the sunscreen — the most important skin care product you can use. Outdoor activities practicing under other plastic surgeons include fishing, boating, lake Michigan, and a dermatologist. Her path led her to family summer cottage up north, working in practicing under Dr. Nitsch at Parkway for the flower gardens, taking walks, being with the last 10 years, working on everything friends (when it’s appropriate to again), road from rejuvenating skin to helping revive trips and traveling.
“I want people to know they can feel confident in choosing us for their skin care concerns, because of our years of experience, knowledge and caring for our clients. I always want them to feel comfortable in discussing their concerns with me.” November 2020
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Finding Happiness at Home T H I S H O L I D AY
Edible outdoor decor
Do you enjoy watching wildlife? Try your hand at making edible outdoor decorations! Then, sit back, grab some hot cocoa, and watch the wildlife come to life just outside your door. It can be as simple as purchasing corn, seeds, popcorn and a little string—add a little creativity and construct the best wildlifeattracting décor for your trees or ledge. It is also a great way to help deer, birds, and squirrels for the upcoming winter.
Connect with your family
If you have been looking forward to seeing your extended family, you can still do so, and have a good time while you’re at it. Grab your phone or computer and download one of the many apps available for fun facetime ideas. Try House Party to play drinking games, card games, or trivia with the whole gang. Not a gaming family? Watch a movie “together” by turning it on at the same time and staying on the phone to chat about the details. Being apart doesn’t have to mean not seeing each other.
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We all look forward to time off work, and the holidays are no exception. Whether it is resting at home, spending time with relatives, or relaxing at a getaway retreat—it is the time we usually need to rejuvenate ourselves for the work we have ahead. Although, this year, many of us are choosing to stay home to avoid the added stress of traveling, in addition to the continued pandemic. If you are one of the many staying home, it doesn’t have to be a boring or typical day in the books. It is still possible to find your happiness at home! Here are some serotonin-boosting activities to discover that inner vacation without leaving your house.
Experiment with food favorites Spa day Be your own chef! Fix up your favorite meals and treats with new additions. Try your hand at making your own pizza or adding some funky toppings. Anyone dare to try the pickle and pineapple pizza? You can apply the same experimental finesse on tacos, loaded nachos, sweet treats, or anything else you dare to spice up.
Dinner and a movie, in You’re never too old for a couch fort. Utilize your chairs, sheets, blankets and pillows to turn your living room into a masterpiece of nostalgia. If you are really feeling this childhood dream, drag out your mattress for an evening camping adventure. Order some delivery at a local spot and snuggle up for the night.
Options are limitless for this one and all will leave you feeling refreshed. Try some DIY face masks. Add bath salts and bubbles to a hot tub of water to sink and relax in. Do a moisturizing treatment. Give yourself a pedicure and manicure. Or give that juice detox you have been thinking about a try. Everyone needs a little TLC, so treat yourself. Things may be a little different going into the holiday, but there is always a way to make everyday a little better, no matter where you are or who you are with. So, smile, and find that inner happiness in the everyday. Hannah Reuter
Hannah Reuter graduated from Western Michigan University in 2015 with a bachelor degree in Economics and currently resides in Portage. In her free time she enjoys strumming the guitar and painting. She is the author of two YA books under the pseudonym, H.B. Catherine. You can find information on her books and writing at hbcatherinewriting.com.
moxiemagazine.net
Connecting Children With Forever Families You can make a huge difference in the lives of teens who need permanency by opening your heart to adoption from foster care. It’s easier than you might think, and costs a lot less than you might think.
We can help you on your adoption journey www.mare.org • 800-589-6273 November 2020
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THE CROSSROADS MALL
6650 S. Westnedge Ave, Portage www.thecrossroadsmall.com
REGULAR HOURS*
Mon – Fri: 10am-9pm Sun: 12pm-6pm
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*Stores and hours vary. Please contact or visit the Crossroads Mall site for store specific hours due to the pandemic.
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mall gift guide (1) Chico’s | $$
Gift chique this season as Chico’s debuts a new fall line with furry vests and fun patterns, earring sets to impress and delicate world travel ornaments.
(2) FYE | $$ Having over-utilized all your entertainment options, have you thought board games? Designed to bring you together, classics like Clue and Monopoly are always a guaranteed fun time with loved ones.
(3) I-Talk | $-$$ Fun and indestructible cases, cords, and any other of your phone accessories needs. They also fix phones!
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(4) Dry Goods | $-$$ ‘Tis the season for fun and cozy, neutral and earth palates for all, flannel, sweaters and hats. For those who love layers.
(5) Jewelry Express | $$-$$$ Chronographs, classic time pieces, streetwear and more, like this women’s Fossil watch, the Kenneth Cole Skeleton-style watch and Baby-G G-Shock, there’s something for everyone.
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(6) Versona | $-$$ Accessories can take any look from okay to polished in an instant. Chunky necklaces with bangles and bracelet sets and fun, long-dangling earrings really set to make your outfit stand out.
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mall gift guide 11
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(7) KCT | $$ Where dressing up and formalwear gets fun. Explore a more subdued style or take your holiday wear to the next level with their eclectic assortment of socks, ties and shoes.
(8) Gloria Jean's Coffees | $ Coffees, spice and everything nice in your cup. Holiday flavors of Christmas Cheer and Eggnog coffee can fill your cup, and fun comic mugs are available for the kids to fill with creamy cocoa.
(9) Pearle Vision | $$-$$$ A classic look, RayBan always stands to impress. Aviators or the classics, you can’t go wrong.
(10) Yankee Candle | $$ The gift that always keeps giving. Make your house smell like Christmas morning, or at least all the things that make the holiday nice. It’s hard to say, “no thank you,” to one of these candles.
(11) Torrid | $-$$ Fall flannel. Black and whites to stand out against the bright colors of autumn. Dress it up or down, and stay warm.
(12) Poppies | $-$$ Treat your self and hair/body/skin to an array of products. Indulge in bath bombs made to look like sweet treats. And there are always gift certificates to pamper yourself later too.
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Avoidance
W H AT I S COSTING YOU? EXE
RC I S E
DISTRESSING THOUGHTS
MENTAL HEALTH OD HEALTHY FO DIFFICULT E MOTIONS
Difficult emotions and distressing thoughts aren’t exactly what we hope to spend our time thinking about every day. It is very natural to want to avoid or delay thinking about them so we don’t have to deal with the discomfort they can bring up. We often say we don’t have time or other resources to deal with them. That may feel very true depending how long we’ve been avoiding them and likely, avoiding them feels like the “normal” or “natural” way to deal with them. Many of us have been able to avoid emotional difficulties around family, friends, the public, leaving home in “real” clothing, and eating around others. With the holidays around the corner, it may be a good time to consider what the cost of avoiding dealing with these thoughts and emotions has been for you. In the long run, avoiding difficult thoughts and emotions does not bode well for our mental health and only helps them to grow and take over more of our happiness. There are a number of thinking strategies that we use to avoid painful emotions or thoughts. Understanding them and identifying which ones we use helps us become more aware of when we use them as an avoidance tactic. Some of the most common are blaming (yourself, others, the world), over-analyzing (yourself, the situation, others), and imagining (escaping, revenge, suicide). Worrying, dwelling, or fantasizing are also common
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thinking strategies. We may also try to distract ourselves with substances or food. We are not always aware of when we are using these, yet they appear helpful in the moment. See if you can pick out your top three go-to thinking strategies for avoiding dealing with a tough emotion or situation. Consider now the thoughts or feelings you would most like to be rid of. Maybe it is a pain or sensation in your body that you have been avoiding and would like to see go away. Perhaps you are thinking of a traumatic memory from a long time ago. Anything counts if you have been avoiding it. Next, list or think about all of the ways you have tried to avoid these unpleasant thoughts, feelings, sensations or memories. Refer back to the thinking strategies listed above. Did you use one of the top three that you previously identified? Can you identify any trends in how you use avoidance as a coping skill? Now, consider if any of these strategies eliminated your painful thoughts and feelings in the long term. Has avoiding brought you to a more connected and meaningful life experience? Likely, the answer is no. Now the challenge is to ask yourself, what has this avoidance cost me? Time, energy,
relationships, money, authenticism, values, career, or opportunities may come to mind. Avoiding may bring short-term relief, but never truly addresses the underlying problem. Finally, we need to make room for different strategies by letting go of the ones that fail to serve us. Which strategy are you willing to let go because you can identify it has not worked? What uncomfortable emotion or memory can you make room for, knowing it will help in the long run? What have you attempted to control that you can now greet head-on? Focus on what you want out of this (ex. inner peace) rather than what you feel like you need to hang on to. Acknowledging that we all have tough emotions and difficult thoughts that we are struggling with is a compassionate place to start on this journey. No one is exempt from this suffering. We do all, however, have the opportunity to reclaim what avoiding has cost us. Emily Betros Emily Betros is a licensed clinical social worker, certified health coach, and owner of Reclaiming Health, LLC. She specializes in body image support, eating disorders, anxiety, life transitions, mindfulness, and women’s issues. More info: www.reclaiminghealth.net.
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BY LALITA CHEMELLO
TASTING ROOM HOURS: Thursday – Friday: 5 – 9 PM Saturday: 3 – 9 PM
A GREEN DOOR DISTILLERY STORY Like many other service-oriented institutions in the Kalamazoo area, GDD had shut down due to the state’s orders in mid-March of this year. And when they shut down, it quickly became an incredibly crucial time to figure out what to do with their business, along with how to take care of their employees.
T
ucked away in a delightfully shaded, quiet corner of Downtown Kalamazoo, and just a stone’s throw from PFC Natural Grocery & Deli, is a little old building, with a large (much newer-looking) addition adorned with a giant green garage door. You may not realize it, but the door is the giveaway to its namesake: GREEN DOOR DISTILLERY.
Founded in 2014 by Josh Cook and Jon Good, the distillery is known for their spirits like whiskey, gin, honey whiskey (with local honey) and an award-winning vodka. And at this point in time is the largest still within 100 miles. Adding a unique approach to their bar and drinks, they have mixologists on staff handcrafting menu drinks with the most local, or in some cases, exotic ingredients, some they even pull from their little garden in their outdoor area (the basil was beyond exquisite to smell the day I visited). It’s a place dedicated to flavors and the quality of something simple, while trying to keep as local with ingredients as possible. They are all truly dedicated to the craft. Things quickly changed for the distillery this year when COVID-19 hit.
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Meanwhile the nation was facing a national shortage of a lot of things, including hand sanitizer. As hand sanitizer is part alcohol, GDD saw an opportunity to help, and once Michigan regulatory bodies gave the thumbs up, it was time to contribute. The effort was truly a community action, something honestly notable of the Kalamazoo area. Bell’s Brewery donated their stale beer to GDD to use for the sanitizer efforts, helping speed up the process of creating denatured alcohol for sanitizing ingredients on their end
as well, and other businesses would chip in for bottles, labels and more. A first batch of 3,000 bottles of “GREEN DOOR DISTILLERY HAND SANITIZER” made its way to different areas around town, focusing on essential services, like hospitals, and at-risk businesses as well. Bronson and Meals on Wheels were just a few of the many beneficiaries of their new product. The same handcrafted care employees put into their drinks went into every bottle of hand sanitizer. Everyone was happy to contribute and help out, but also have a way to stay afloat financially. And GDD did put in the effort to try and keep their employees taken care of through the shutdown with a little extra money provided through an online fundraiser of which owner’s matched. Jake Lenz, a Mixololgist at GDD, had only been with the distillery a few months before things closed. Due to the nature of his start date, and Michigan’s unemployment rules at the time, he was initially denied
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unemployment, and was unsure and quite nervous about what his next step would be. But the production of the hand sanitizer granted him enough stability that unemployment wasn’t needed. “Josh came up with the sanitizer thing, and I started working 40 hours a week. I had three weeks where I did 60 hours. And it was just like, a blessing in disguise. Everything was shut down, but I was working more hours now than I was before. I was able to get by … and help out in any way I could. I don’t know where I would have been had I not had this job.” Jake on his own was responsible for nearly 10,000 bottles of hand sanitizer that would be distributed or purchased, not only in the area, but to different states. People would even travel just to get the sanitizer. In June, restrictions would ease on establishments, and GDD had a new challenge to face: reopening. Their Tasting Room General Manager, Matt Gaipa, had quite the challenge coming into his new role during the pandemic, all coinciding with the time of their true reopening to the public.
“A pandemic is not something you really plan for. The problem too is just everything rapidly changes. I do a lot of reading basically every week. I check CDC guidelines, things like that. I try to use all the recommended cleaners. The challenge is just keeping people safe while still having a fun environment as well.” And their other major task aside from keeping their patrons and staff safe was, “How do we keep it fun?”
Things have eased a bit for the distillery as things have opened up a little more. During the warmer months, they embraced a quaint, but seriously socially-distanced “garden” seating area — with tables quite distanced (beyond the six-feet recommendation) from one-another and a cute little stand outside the tasting room designated as an area for drink orders, as patrons were not allowed in the facility. In September they opened limited indoor seating (as Michigan legislation still limits those numbers), with outdoor music and a limited Jazz brunch offering. A curbside service also allows patrons interested in a bottle of any of their spirits from the BARRIER RIDGE BOURBON to their award-winning GET LOST VODKA, purchase without risking themselves or employees. As they’ve opened the indoor portion, large plastic guards (like many other businesses) stand tall around portions of the bar to keep the mixologists
protected, and the capacity is still naturally lower than it would normally be, but it is all in the name of protection, safety, and of course, still keeping it fun. It is beyond a trial to get through everything changing in this pandemic, especially in the service industry, as every open drink and downed mask is a risk, but GDD has successfully taken it on, one day at a time, adjusting as rules change and working hard in ensuring the safety of their visitors and employees. As we enter the more chilled days, GDD’s Facebook is already decorated with cozy fall drinks awaiting to warm you up and satisfy your tasting pleasures — safely. At the time this was written, GREEN DOOR DISTILLERY is currently opened Thursday and Friday, 5-9 p.m., and Saturday, 3-9 p.m. And be sure to stay tuned as new spirits and flavors are to debut this holiday season.
429 East North Street Kalamazoo, MI | 269.205.339 greendoordistilling.com
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BY KIM CARSON
A Letter About Letting Go Dear Friend,
Letting go is difficult isn’t it? Letting go of fear. Letting go of anger. Letting go of hurt feelings. Letting go of the dream … Letting go can be so complicated, whether it is the loss of a parent, spouse, child, pet, friend or significant other, loss is never easy to transition through and it is not meant to be fast or easy. You’re dealing with the loss connection—two spirits wrapped up in skin previously connected on Earth now separated by the physical and spiritual worlds. So, when you decide to finally process that newfound space: your loss—sit with it. Feel it, one moment at a time, allowing waves of emotion to wash over you as your aching heart expresses itself through your trembling and flowing tears one moment, and memories that bring smiles the next. Yes, there will be friends and loved ones who, not knowing any better and not knowing what to do with your pain will try and rush you through your feelings by saying things like, “It’s time to move on,” as if processing grief had an itinerary. This “encouragement” simply reveals who they really are, because your pain is making them feel so uncomfortable, they just want you to get over it so you can go back to being you, and allowing them to feel comfortable again.
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The grieving process is as unique as your fingerprints. Another person cannot possibly know how quickly you should move through your particular loss. It is why a support group of strangers can sometimes be so helpful in your process. The strangers are not there to rush you through anything. Friends and family can often want you to swiftly return to the normal they remember. But others, like you, who have experienced loss have more compassion, as they too are feeling that similar daze of emptiness and emotion you are struggling with. And there is healing in sharing memories of our loved one with others, as it somehow keeps the spirit alive. So, think about it, okay? But, how do you more easily let go and move on from someone who has been a part of your life and has touched you profoundly in the deepest of ways? You don’t. My friend Dr. Matthew Clark (Dr. Matt) says it’s not about forgetting, it’s about remembering. “We need to remember our mutual love for each other, times spent together, and lessons learned from each other.” You can also share those memories with good listeners who you connect with and who understand. But I also wonder, what about letting go of a loss that stems from betrayal, as that’s difficult to let go of too.
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“
Sometimes in life we dwell on the good things of a job or relationship we know we should leave. We justify it by rationalizing that we have a few friends there, it’s secure and familiar, it’s a comfortable rut.”
Loss Support Group-Virtual
GriefShare In Person/Online
Reading Resources
Pet Loss Resources
www.hospiceswmi.org/our-services/grief-support/supportive-drop-in-groups www.langelands.com/grief-support-resources
Dr. Matt says, “Ask yourself if there is a way to have any empathy for the person or attempt to understand them, while keeping healthy boundaries with him or her, in order to not allow yourself to be abused, hurt or taken advantage of in the future.” Violations can be composed of hundreds of little indiscretions, expressing themselves through hurt, fear, anger, disappointment, or even revenge, all in the name of something that we should be “letting go” of.
So, what ensnares us and keeps us trapped in this rut? What are we actually losing if we leave? What is it that allows someone to tolerate disrespect and blurred boundaries? Dr. Matt says, “Sometimes in life we dwell on the good things of a job or relationship we know we should leave. We justify it by rationalizing that we have a few friends there, it’s secure and familiar, it’s a comfortable rut. So why then is it so difficult to end something even when we are not happy, even when a new opportunity presents itself, why does it still feel scary? If we dwell on the negative and the what-ifs in life, we will miss out on opportunities. This can apply to relationships also. We might dwell on the positives of staying, we might feel comfortable in this relationship that is not good for us because it feels known or familiar, maybe it is similar to what we experienced
www.griefshare.org/countries/us/states/mi/cities/kalamazoo www.pet-loss.net/resources/MI.shtml
as children. But if we take that risk and end the relationship, we may find a person out there that is a better fit for us or experience living life independently for the time being. Both are worth leaving a relationship we know that we should leave and trusting we will find what is better for us in the long run.”
The world can beat you up, so be kind to yourself. The upcoming holidays can be tough. Yes, they are a time of joy for many, but the holidays can also be a reminder of something or someone missing. So, as you reflect on the past year, take in everything the present has to offer because it truly is a “present.” With great expectations and anticipation, move calmly and confidently into the upcoming year taking hold of the wheel of life and steering yourself into the best future and the best you that you can be. Don’t be afraid to grow. This coming year, vow to let go of something that is not healthy for you. Take the steps that allow you to let go, and make room for something new and healthier to come into your life. Your friend,
Kim
Thanks to Dr. Matthew Clark from the Clark Institute in Grand Rapids for his wise words of wisdom.
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NAIL THAT INTERVIEW Whether you are looking to advance your career or need to replace a position you lost, to interview successfully you need a plan to build self-confidence, grow a supportive mindset and develop your professional presence. Although the numbers of U.S. jobs lost have been deeply distressing, CNN Business states that companies are still hiring thousands of new employees to keep up with the shifting economy. There ARE or WILL BE new positions to apply and interview for.
Kelly Duggan Kelly Duggan is an Image Consultant specializing in executive and personal image development, etiquette & communication skills. She is a certified member of the Association of Image Consultants International. Contact Kelly at: www.kellyduggan.com.
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“I’m confident that I’m as good as my competition.” Once you’ve secured the all-important interview, don’t blow it just because you didn’t have a strategy to effectively present yourself and showcase your talents. Perhaps you are like Cindy, a client who came to me looking to set herself apart from another in-house individual with sights on the same position; he had the credentials and years of experience to back him as a strong candidate. With fine-tuned guidance on soft skills and a boost to her inner confidence, Cindy’s strong skill set and talents showed through and the position was awarded to her. Or your scenario might be like John’s, who was preparing for phone and virtual interviews. By refining succinct replies to commonly asked questions, defining appropriate attire and surroundings for virtual interviewing, and adjusting his defeating self-talk, he was able to focus on the interview itself. The process aligned his mindset and nonverbal communication to better support a confident, poised delivery during the interview process, leading to an onsite interview.
GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY Your mindset and thinking are your foundation to a successful interview. It takes work, but ridding yourself of self-doubt and negative internal conversations is a must. This head chatter can happen anytime, but it usually occurs when you are out of your comfort zone or in stressful situations — like during an interview. It is crucial to get a grip on this and turn your mind and self around with positive internal dialog. This can be calm and reassuring, such as “I’m confident that I’m as good as my competition.” Or
you can tell yourself something simple like “You’ve got this!” When aligning your inner voice, recognize that beliefs don’t always equal truth. We can be hard on ourselves. Is what you are telling yourself really the truth?
DEVELOP YOUR PRESENCE INTELLIGENCE
You are your own best resource for effective interviewing. If you have made it to an interview, your interviewer(s) wants to see, observe and experience you. YOU alone can set yourself apart from all the others with the same education, talent and skills. Do you fit the culture? Do your strengths align? Do you look and act the part? Take the time. Hire a coach. Do what you need to do to discover what will trip you up in presenting yourself well during the interview process. Define what will allow you to positively stand out. Developing your “presence intelligence” will allow you to shine, make it to the next round and ultimately secure the offer.
Tell yourself something simple like, “You’ve got this!”
HOW TO DEVELOP YOUR INTERVIEW-READY PRESENCE INTELLIGENCE…
• Create a strong awareness of self in how you communicate verbally and nonverbally, how you listen, and how you look, carry yourself and think. Perfect yourself for the audience you will be interviewing with. • Get in the know. Appear as an expert and be aware of all that you can. Take the time to research the job, company and culture of the organization you are interviewing with. • Define what you are most proud of in accomplishments and strengths. Develop 3-5 well-articulated sound bites that best highlight the value you bring. • Practice makes perfect, but not in your head. Practice out loud, even if it seems awkward. • Practice in “like” conditions for the interview you are preparing for (e.g., in-person, phone, video). • Set the “day of” tone with a strategy to align your mindset and routine for the interview ahead. Today’s interviews come in a variety of formats and sequences: phone, video conference, onsite in single or panel format, formal to informal or a combination approach. Having a strategy to effectively present and position yourself in all of these situations will not only raise your confidence, but increase the odds of hearing, “Our next step is…”
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THANKSGIVING DINNER RECIPES
This year will see many of us celebrating Thanksgiving at our own home with a very small number of guests. Whether this will be your first time preparing Thanksgiving dinner or you are a seasoned home chef, this menu will delight even the pickiest diner. My best
advice is to pick up convenient items to accompany this meal. Some of my favorites are: Bob Evans mashed potatoes, canned cranberry sauce, dinner rolls from your favorite bakery, and premade turkey gravy that you can find at your local delicatessen counter this time of year.
Garlic & Herb Butter Roasted Turkey Breast 5-6 pounds single turkey breast, skin on, bone in ½ tsp salt Black pepper Small bunch of fresh herbs: 4 rosemary sprigs, 8 sprigs sage, 10 thyme sprigs 12 garlic cloves, smashed
BUTTER RUB:
10 Tbsp unsalted butter, softened 1 ½ tsp kosher salt ½ tsp black pepper 4 large garlic cloves, minced 1 Tbsp finely chopped sage, fresh 1 Tbsp finely chopped rosemary, fresh
1 Tbsp fresh thyme leaves, fresh 1 Tbsp finely chopped parsley leaves, fresh
Take turkey out of the fridge 45 minutes before cooking.
Put rack in the lower middle position. Preheat oven to 390 degrees. Place garlic and bunch of herbs in the middle of a baking dish. Mix butter rub ingredients together. Loosen the turkey skin from the turkey flesh.
Smear butter mixture under skin. Use about 2/3 of the butter, and smear it under the skin on the top half of the breast. Best to use hands, to ensure it spreads as evenly as possible. Turn turkey upside down. Reserve about 2 Tbsp butter for the surface, smear the rest on the underside.
Place turkey in pan on the herbs, skin side up. Now smear skin with remaining butter — you don’t want much on the skin because the herb bits burn.
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ROASTING:
Sprinkle top and sides of breast with salt and pepper all over. Place turkey in oven, and immediately reduce temperature to 350 degrees. Roast for 1 hour 30 minutes, basting every 30 minutes.
The turkey is cooked when the meat thermometer inserted at the thickest part is 165 degrees. Remove turkey from pan and place on serving plate. Cover loosely with foil and rest for 15 to 20 minutes before carving.
Heather Dombos Heather Dombos comes from a long, southern tradition of hospitality and hearty cooking. You can usually find her in the kitchen whipping up something special for family and friends.
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Sweet Potato Casserole WITH PRALINE PECAN CRUST SWEET POTATO MIXTURE:
4 cups sweet potatoes, mashed 1 cup granulated sugar 2 eggs, beaten 1/2 cup milk 1/2 tsp salt 1/3 cup butter, melted 1 tsp vanilla
PRALINE PECAN CRUST:
1 cup brown sugar 1/2 cup all-purpose flour 1/3 cups butter, melted 1 cups pecans, chopped
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Combine sweet potatoes, granulated sugar, eggs, milk, salt, melted butter, and vanilla. Mix until thoroughly combined. Spread mixture into a greased 9x13-inch pan.
In a separate bowl, combine brown sugar, all-purpose flour, melted butter, and chopped pecans with a pastry cutter until mixture is crumbly. Sprinkle topping over sweet potato mixture. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 mins.
Sausage & Sage Cornbread Dressing
1 pound ground sausage 2 cups chopped celery 2 large onions, chopped 5 cups crumbled cornbread 5 cups Pepperidge Farm stage stuffing mix 2 ž cups chicken stock Salt & pepper to taste Prepare cornbread according to directions on box. Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
Place sausage, celery and onions in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium high heat until evenly brown. Drain, crumble and set aside.
In a large bowl combine sausage mixture with cornbread, stuffing mix, and chicken stock well and transfer to a greased 9x12-inch baking dish. Bake, covered, for 45 minutes or until well set and cooked through.
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RECIPES (Continued) |
Broccoli Cheddar Casserole
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2 bunches broccoli 1 (10 3/4 ounce) can cream of mushroom soup 1/2 cup milk 4 ounces cream cheese, softened 1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper 2 cups sharp cheddar cheese, shredded 1 cup French fried onions
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Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Cut the broccoli into florets. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Boil the broccoli for 4 minutes, then drain well. In a medium saucepan over medium-high heat, combine the mushroom soup, milk, cream cheese, and pepper until well combined. Mix in 1 cup of the cheddar cheese. Stir until the cheese has melted.
Transfer the broccoli to a mediumsized greased baking dish. Spoon the cheese sauce over the top of the broccoli and stir to coat. Bake in the preheated oven for 30 minutes. Remove the casserole from the oven and top with the remaining cheddar cheese and French fried onions. Bake for an additional 10 minutes. Let sit for 5-10 minutes before serving.
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Pumpkin Gooey Cake
CAKE
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
TO MAKE THE CAKE: Combine all (cake) ingredients and mix well.
1 (18 1/4 oz) package yellow cake mix 1 egg 8 Tbsp butter, melted
FILLING
1 (8 oz) package cream cheese, softened 1 (15 oz) can pumpkin 3 eggs 1 tsp vanilla 8 Tbsp butter, melted 1 (16 oz) box powdered sugar 1 tsp cinnamon 1 tsp nutmeg
Pat batter into a lightly greased 13x9-inch baking pan with hands into an even layer. TO MAKE THE FILLING: In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and pumpkin until smooth. Add the eggs, vanilla, and butter, and beat together. Next, add the powdered sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and mix well.
Spread pumpkin mixture over cake batter and bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Make sure not to over bake as the center should be a little gooey. Serve with fresh whipped cream or your favorite ice cream.
Perfect Pecan Pie
2 ½ cups pecan halves 1 cup light corn syrup ½ cup dark corn syrup 4 large eggs ½ cup granulated sugar 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 prepared pie crust
We prefer Pillsbury Deep Dish located in the freezer section
Prepare pie crust and set aside. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a medium bowl combine eggs and sugar and whisk to mix. Slowly add light and dark corn syrup to the egg and sugar mixture, then whisk until well combined. Fold pecans into the syrup mixture. Pour into pie crust and place pie shield around the crust. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Remove pie shield from crust and return to oven for an additional 15 minutes. Remove from oven and cool. Serve with fresh whipped cream or vanilla ice cream.
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Kalamazoo for the longest time, to me, was singing to myself, “K-A-L-A-M-A-Z-O-O, Oh I’ve got a gal, in Kalamazoo,” any time I heard or read the name. I had played it in our Jazz Show for marching band my senior year of high school, and that was about what I knew. I did eventually travel here a couple of times to a long-gone venue to see a few of my favorite bands (the last one was to see MeWithoutYou). And my best friend went to Western (I was at Central at the time), so we would trade off visiting one-another. We would come to find out, Western fans are nicer to Central fans (go figure). Two years ago, this month, an opportunity arose, the stars aligned, and throw in a bit of a love story too, and well, here I am, in Kalamazoo. And of course, I have outgrown singing the song in my head every time I hear the name (now it is only occasionally), and I have found myself slowly becoming a Bronco fan as well. As you know from my bio, I was born and raised on the east side in the Detroit area, and spent the first three decades of my life there. In comparison to Kalamazoo, it is an entirely different world. My only aids in discovering the Kalamazoo area and what it has to offer were truly through my work here at the magazine, and the two jobs I’ve
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had otherwise. And I was able to expand my mental “map” of the area further by reconnecting with friends living here and adventures my wanderlust boyfriend and I embarked on. Luckily now, I can get to places without Google Maps! I have found the people here are nicer—more laid back. People take time to chat and say hello. There’s a community aspect I’m not sure I have ever come across in my former residences that is something unmatched and admirable. The stories I have come across — the way people have come together to help (even in the pandemic, like my Green Door Distillery article), is just truly a unique and remarkable thing. I spent most of my life existing in this hustle world of focusing on one’s self, or rather the “every man for himself,” attitude, severely lacking thank yous, how are yous, and genuine chats. But in Kalamazoo, I receive them quite frequently. And odd thing is, when I encounter a former east-sider in the Kalamazoo wilds, they agree. You are a rare place, and I am sure somewhere out there are others like you, but out of the I believe now 20+ cities in Michigan I have lived in, none of them truly compare, even close. Sure, there is still discord here, and maybe some areas are not the nicest of places, and I mean, my neighbors
are in a near full-out war over black walnuts and property lines (there are trespassing signs involved now), but overall, you are friendly. Welcoming. Illustrious. Embracing. Sure, I do get homesick, and miss living near my family, especially after all we’ve been through in my time of living here, but I love it. Your community and you as readers have taken me in and really shared with me this great place to live. A place I’m proud to be a part of. A place where when I have people first ask me why I’m here, and tell me I need to move back, I let them know: I’m good here. So, a “thank you,” people of Kalamazoo, for being so welcoming these last two years. And thank you, for making an incredible place to live — one I think I would like to stick around and enjoy for a while. And I hope, with my little note of thanks, you remember why you love being here too. Lalita Chemello Lalita Chemello is our Editor, Writer and occasional photog. Her 13 years of writing has landed features with Panorama, published poetry and even a short film. She spends any extra time she can quenching her wanderlustian needs by finding new places to adventure with her other half, writing, or playing with their motorized toys.
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