Bush Week THE FESTIVITIES ALMANAC
MONDAY
TUESDAY
12PM - 3PM BUSH WEEK LAUNCH Union Court Welcome to Bush Week 2011! Come and see what all the buzz is about! Grab a free BBQ lunch, snap up tickets to the weeks’ events and enjoy some leisurely games on the lawns of Union Court. FREE!
11AM- 4PM TICKET SALES Union Court Your last chance to snap up tickets to the highly anticipated Bush Week pub crawl. The BBQ will be fired up again offering a free lunch accompanied by cups of hot tea.
1PM WORONI BUSH WEEK EDITION LAUNCH Sick of damper? Come and scoff down some pancakes, have a chat to the Woroni crew, and sign up for the Gold Rush challenges for your chance to win a whole load of sweet treasure.
1PM WORONI SCULPTURE CHALLENGE JUDGING IN UNION COURT
Picking courses for Semester Two today? Woroni’s Semester Two counter-course guide can be found at www. woroni.com.au.
6PM Mooseheads Bar & Nightclub presents: A WALK ON WALL STREET (leaving from ANU Bar at 6.45PM) The Aussie Dollar is booming and what a way to celebrate it! Traverse Canberra’s favourite drinking establishments with cheap drinks on offer as well as great entertainment. Business attire is a must! 18+ Tix $5
WEDNESDAY 12PM - 3PM MARKET DAY Union Court Want to partake in a variety of Club and Societies events and activities? Market Day is your day to sign up and get involved! There’ll be free merch and great deals. Don’t miss the FREE BBQ at the ANUSA stall and more importantly, grab any remaining tickets to Thursday night’s ROAD TRIP TO THE SALOON!
1PM WORONI PHOTO CHALLENGE JUDGING IN UNION COURT 4PM-6PM ANU SNOWSPORTS RAIL JAM Chifley Meadows Enjoy some crazy snowboarding and skiing demonstrations on real snow! Tunes provided by uniVibes. FREE! 5PM BEERS ’N’ VOLUNTEERS ANU Volunteers Meet the ANUV team and get your good karma on!! 7PM - 8PM ANU RADIO LAUNCH PARTY (Student Space) Listen in to ANU Student Media’s newest project. Enjoy beverages, entertainment, and a hearty belly laugh. FREE!
Woroni’s BBQ is no ordinary BBQ, gold diggers. It’s about pancakes and golden syrupy goodness. Head to Union Court on Monday, 25 July from 1PM for pancakes, Scav Hunt registration and a whole lot of treasure!
THURSDAY 1PM - 3PM ANU RUGBY LEAGUE VS RUGBY UNION SHOWCASE GAME North Oval (UniPub Bears vs Mooseheads DARTS ) Scream for your favourite team as the game will swap from Rugby Union rules to Rugby League rules at half time! FREE!
3PM - WORONI SCAV HUNT JUDGING IN UNION COURT 1PM - 8pm UNIVIBES IN THE BEER GARDEN ANU Bar The uniVibes crew re-ignite the Thursday afternoon buzz in the beer garden. FREE! 6pm -7pm GENDERLESS SPEEDDATING (ANU Bar) What a riot this was in O-Week! Don’t be shy, make your way down to the ANU Bar and share plenty of laughs while making a bunch of new friends (and/or lovers)! FREE! 7:30PM - 11:30PM ROAD TRIP TO THE SALOON Leaving Union Court at 7.45pm We’ll drive you out to a country pub, let you enjoy cheap beer and fresh country air, and then drop you back into the city! Don your tassles, flannies and cowboy boots for an evening of debauchery and outback adventure. Tix $15 Tickets limited! Bus will fill up fast! 18+
WANT TO WIN LOTS OF GOLD?
But don’t want to do it the hard way? The Woroni Gold Rush Challenge (Scav Hunt) is on all of Bush Week. See back of paper for details.
FRIDAY 11am QUERELLE MAGAZINE LAUNCH & CHAMPAGNE BREAKFAST. Copland Courtyard Hosted by Queer* & the Jellybabies club. All LGBTIQ students and supportive friends are welcome for pancakes and a glass of bubbly. Don’t forget to pick up the first issue of Querelle magazine! FREE! 1PM BUSH WEEK PIZZA LUNCH ANU Organic Garden Free lunch in the organic garden and some of the best pizza you’ve ever tasted! Meet new people (and our family of chickens) and find out how to get involved in the garden. 4:30PM - 6:30PM ‘GOLD FEATHERS AND FUR’ MARDI GRAS Union Court All the glory, glitz, glamour of the Mardi Gras parade. Meet in Union Court at 4.30pm! Live band FUN MACHINE will provide the tunes! Listen to speeches and prizes for best dressed are up for grabs. FREE! 7PM RAGS TO RICHES PARTY Academy Rock up to Academy and end the week in style! FREE! (with ANU ID card) 7PM-9PM ANU Bangladeshi Students’ Association (ANUBSA) Memorial concert for Bangladeshi “Pop Guru” Mr. Azam Khan (MCC Theatre) $5 + “Biriyani Boxes” with salad available to buy. 10PM UNIVIBES LIVE NIGHT Clubhouse All live performances by jazz, graffiti, digital media- and painting artists permeated by the pulsing beat of live producers. Free entry for uniVibes members before 12.
PAGE 3 25 july 2011
Vol.63 no. 8
Www.woroni.com.au
woroni@anu.edu.au
A CERTAIN DEGREE OF CHANGE
What is happening to your degree and how will affect you? HANEY CHO In August, the final decisions about changes to the undergraduate curriculum of the ANU colleges will be announced via a universitywide email and hard-copy letters. Overall the degree changes include simpler program rules in existing programs and greater consistency of program rules across Colleges. Programs that are externally accredited (for
example, Law, Engineering and Accounting) are not affected by these changes. The reforms include a common length of a major sequence (48 units) and a minor sequence (24 units) and also increased fluidity between different Colleges. An interview with staff in the College of Arts and Social Sciences (CASS) reveals that there are many advantages to be gained from these reforms. It will now be possible to study an Asian language or even psychology within an Arts degree. Some programs, which were formerly programs
in the Bachelor of Arts, will now be offered as stand-alone awards - for example Bachelor of Policy Studies, Bachelor of International Relations. Of course there are some minor issues. Firstly, it will be more difficult for later year students, who are well advanced in their studies, to transition into new programs than for the current first years. Also, single degree students will have greater flexibility than those completing combined degrees. However, staff emphasise that the new format is “more streamlined, more flexible... [and] more
Union reform: a more perfect Union CAMERON KNOTT WEB SUEDITOR
Union Chairman Ben Duggan is proposing radical changes to how the ANU Union serves students. Office space for Clubs & Societies, construction of elevated decking, and relocating the Food Co-op within the Union are among the proposals being considered. Student bodies have welcomed the prospect of Union reform. However, they have stressed that any proposed changes must be in consultation with the student body.’ There are a number of reforms being considered. ANU Union offices may be reduced to make space for new offices that Clubs & Societies operate out of. It is possible that nine compact offices could be provided to student groups free of charge.
Food and retail may be improved by constructing new store fronts. A deck capable of seating students may be constructed above the south-west entrance facing Union Court. Students would be able to access the decking from level one of the Union building. Measures to make the Union Board more accountable to students are also being explored. Mr. Duggan has raised these ideas in response to concerns that the ANU Union no longer adequately fulfils its constitutional obligation to support Clubs & Societies and the welfare of students. “Students no longer see the Union as important to their university experience” he says. After the introduction of Voluntary Student Unionism (VSU) in 2006, the ANU Union was forced to cut services. Many student unions were supported partly by their University after the introduction of VSU. These cuts, Mr.
ELECTION
Duggan adds “are what mainly compromised services.” Although the ANU Union has recently made annual profits between $1000 and $30,000, this has not been enough to finance major reforms, Mr Duggan says. Federal Parliament is currently considering a Student Amenities Fee (SAF) that would, if introduced later this year, fund such services as the ANU Union. Mr. Duggan hopes to capitalise on SAF funds. “These reforms I’m proposing would put the Union in a position where it could invest much more into services for clubs and societies.” The Union Board will be presented with two discussion options this week (July 25-29) about what Mr. Duggan’s proposals. “I want the continuing Board members and the newly elected ones to enter the 2011-12 Board meetings in a mood for reform.”
attractive to students”. Moreover, there is no compulsion for currents students to change from existing to new program rules. They may continue to be governed by the program rules that applied at the time of their enrolment. As the above relates to CASS, students of other colleges will have to refer to their college’s specific changes. Student contribution has also been involved in developing these changes. Two ANUSA representatives sat on the Working Party on Undergraduate Education in 2010, and conveyed student interests to
Accomodation woes: students in the lurch ELOUISE FOWLER EDITOR
The ANU has decided to shutdown Lyneham Hall. All undergraduates will be moved to Bruce Hall or Ursula Hall, while postgraduates will be offered places at UniGardens in Belconnen. Liz Deane, the Pro Vice-Chancellor for Students, announced the decision at Lyneham Hall at 6pm on July 14th. Six out of twenty residents were present at the meeting. The ANUSA president, Leah Ginnivan, attributed the low turnout to many of the residents still being on holiday. Ms Deane had consulted neither
FEATURE MORE ON THE CANDIDATES P4
the University Education Committee. ANUSA President, Leah Ginnivan, said that they “strongly support degree flexibility” and believe that “these changes will be really positive for students generally.” College staff strongly suggest that students “think about [their options] early” as deadlines for program transfers will apply. However, students are discouraged from questioning until the official release date.
CULTURE WHAT'S BUSH WEEK? P 12
BYE BYE BORDERS P. 19
Ms Ginnivan nor PARSA president, Areti Metuamate, about the shutdown. Ms Deane’s announcement of this decision days before semester two begins, was poorly planned, said Ms Ginnivan. “Students’ welfare had clearly not been a priority. The timing and the way it has been handled is disappointing,” Ms Ginnivan said. The ANU rented the Lyneham Motor Inn and converted it into Lyneham Hall, to cater for the influx of students under the ANU’s first year accommodation grant.
PAGE 4
NEWS ANU STUDENT MEDIA INC. ELECTIONS 2011-2012
This Bush Week (25-29 July), an online poll will be held to elect four Woroni editors to join Elouise Fowler, Scott Bolton, Sophie Turnbull and Simon Thompson on the ANU Student Media Editorial Board. The new editors will serve until July 2012. Woroni encourages you to take this chance to have a say on the way your student newspaper develops over the next year. All ANU students will receive an email with the link to the voting website this week.
Meet The Candidates CAMERON M. KNOTT
Cameron’s policy for Woroni is to grow it as an institution and emphasise coverage of ANU & Student news. Cameron believes that a professional and experienced Woroni can continue to produce consistently good journalism for students, and without the swings in quality as happened over past election cycles.
LISA VISENTIN
I believe a student newspaper must reflect the quintessential student. It must love coffee, cheap eats and music. It should dabble in art and the odd bit of sport but showcase those who do it much better. It must be articulate but not pretentious; critical and opinionated but not dogmatic; a mouthpiece for student affairs but not political agendas. It should have quirk, wit and creative flair...and offer itself freely to every student. Submissions and Contact: Editor Woroni ANU Newspaper ANUSA Building 17A Union Court Acton 2601 Ph: 02 6125 7546 Email: woroni@anu.edu.au
Printed By mpd – printing the news everyday Unit E1, 46-62 Maddox Street Alexandria NSW 2015 2011
ANGUS MINNS
UMA PATEL
After allowing his studies to languish during his stint as a sub-editor for Woroni in 2011, Angus feels the time is ripe to put the final nail in his academic-coffin by running for editor in 2011/12. Angus is committed to being a part of a cohesive Woroni team, as well as to ensuring a balanced paper that has a meaningful online presence.
Uma wants to create a Woroni radio station, broaden Woroni’s writing pool and renovate the website to cater to digital journalism. Uma is the Woroni culture sub-editor and has been involved in print media for 5 years, Woroni for over 3 years (since 2008) and is a radio host on Barry Drive.
TOM WESTLAND
CAM WILSON
Tom, who’s been with Woroni since the Cretaceous period, is never lost for words: indeed, he knows as many as fifteen, and plans to learn at least seven more before the year is out. His dreams for Woroni include a renewed focus on investigative news & a cheekier, more stylish paper. And if there’s room in the budget, he’s heard all the smart money is in subprime mortgages. Woroni Branding By Chandler Specialist Design info@chandlersds.com
Editors Elouise Fowler Scott Bolton Simon Thompson Sophie Turnbull
Woroni has an obligation to the students of ANU. Last year, the editors promised - and the voters agreed - that students deserve a professional newspaper. Now, Woroni must not rest on its’ laurels; improvements can be made to our online presence, investigation into studentrelevant issues and the introduction of a cultural lift-out. If elected, I promise to take action in these areas to create a better Woroni.
Sub Editors Cam Wilson, Angus Minns, Lisa Visentin, Uma Patel, Izzy Roper, Tom Westland, Will Walton, Cameron Knott and Melinda Susanto
Letters To the Editor Love us or loathe us, we’d love to hear from you. Letter of the Fortnight will receive a kilo of coffee from our friends at Lonsdale St Roasters. (woroni@anu.edu.au or to Woroni ANU Newspaper ANUSA Building 17A Union Court Acton 2601)
PAGE 5
NEWS woroni.com.au
25 July
THE MONTH
News of the World Scandal The News of the World has admitted to illegally hacking the voicemail messages of prominent people in the UK in order to find stories. What else is there to say?
Getting you Asphyxiation
Carbon Tax Announcement
In South Australia a man was found guilty of murdering his gay lover in an act of erotic asphyxiation. This was not the first time: at the time of the murder, the convicted was on parole for manslaughter because he had strangled another lover with a shoelace during sex.
After months of speculation, the Gillard Government has released the details of the Carbon Tax or the Clean Energy Future scheme. Met with mixed feelings, the scheme is likely to pass both Houses of Parliament without a problem. However, don’t expect this to go away quietly, with both sides of the argument launching expensive advertising campaigns.
NASA No more
Sisters doing it for themselves
NASA has flown its last flight. The star ship Atlantis has returned and NASA flights are no more. Stepping aside, NASA is letting private enterprise take control of the final frontier. For all those kids who had dreamt of becoming an astronaut, time to keep dreaming.
Again Australia’s women’s soccer/football team has shown why they are better than their male counterparts. The Matildas made it to the quarter final of the World Cup for a second time, a feat yet to be matched by the men. Although losing to Sweden 3-1, the team have shown why they are a force not to be underestimated.
Cadel to Win Le Tour? By the time this edition has gone to print, Australian cyclist Cadel Evans will have either won or lost the Tour de France with the weight of a nation on his shoulders. As it currently stands, he has ridden the perfect race, finally attending the Tour with a strong team and a welcome dose of good luck. The runner-up of the 2007 and 2008 tours, Cadel had previously been plagued with crashes and a poorly performing team. He spent last season in the sport’s coveted Rainbow Jersey as 2009 World Champion. Should he succeed, he will make history as the first Australian to win cycling’s greatest prize.
Trees have the wood on pollution
Trees have a greater role in absorbing carbon emissions than scientists previously thought, a recent study has revealed. In the most comprehensive study of its kind, it has been shown that trees soak up 10% of human-generated carbon dioxide. The study has bolstered calls to introduce carbon credits for projects that protect, rather than destroy, rainforests and trees. It also shows that deforestation is an issue of greater seriousness, given the greater effectiveness. Reforestation now presents itself as a serious investment opportunity for corporations looking to get their hands on carbon credits as the global economy moves toward emissions trading schemes.
The bet to end a season The world of AFL football was rocked with the news that two Collingwood players, Heath Shaw and captain Nick Maxwell, were embroiled in a betting scandal. Maxwell’s charge was less serious. His family had misused information he had told them in confidence to place a bet. However, it was Shaw who landed himself in deep trouble, turning a $10 bet on Maxwell kicking the first goal of a game into an 8-match suspension and a $20,000 fine. Now they’re bad odds.
Veitnamese none pleased
too
About 2000 peeved Vietnamese turned up to Canberra in the holidays to protest Chinese aggression outside the Chinese embassy. After leading a chant of “China in Australia: out, out out!’, community leader Phong Nguyen told Woroni that Australia should be on guard against Chinese treachery saying that the small states of South East Asia should band together and oppose Chinese expansion.
Scary Tiger The budget airline Tiger has been cutting too many corners, being grounded due to safety concerns. Unable to fly until 1st August, Tiger is refunding tickets for flights up until the 31st July. However, if the airline doesn’t lift its game, the suspension may continue.
Cameron Survives Marathon PMQ
UK Prime Minister David Cameron endured a gruelling, two-hour special of Prime Minister’s Questions last week as MPs grilled him about his hiring of News of the World editor Andy Coulson as his Communications Chief. Cameron answered approximately 138 questions concerning Coulson over the two hours. Labour was keen to allege that Cameron has been a little too friendly, with the Tory counter-attacking with questions about ex-Prime Minister Gordon Brown’s dealings with Rebekah Brooks when he was at Number 10.
US to Default on Loans Unless compromise Reached President Barack Obama has called upon Republican and Democratic leaders in Congress to move quickly toward a compromise that will allow the debt ceiling to be raised to $US14.3 trillion. If a compromise allowing more borrowing is not reached by 2nd August the US government will likely be unable to meet interest payments as well as obligations to government employees and Social Security recipients.
PAGE 6
NEWS
Malaysian Govt: keep quiet in Oz TOM WESTLAND SUBEDITOR-AT-LARGE
WILL WALTON SPORTS SUBEDITOR
Protesters defied Malaysian Government warnings when they rallied at Parliament House at part of the Bersih 2.0 campaign for electoral reform in Malaysia. Approximately 30 people – including students at the ANU – attended the protest on 9th July, at the same time as Malaysian police arrested hundreds of people and fired teargas and water cannons on crowds in Kuala Lumpur. The Malaysian Government had issued a statement via Education Malaysia Australia Sydney (EMAS), a government organisation that oversees students in Australia, that Malaysian students who participated in protests in Australia could face “appropriate action” under “applicable laws”. It was also implied that Australian police would help Malaysian authorities take action against protesters. While the protests broke no Australian laws, in Malaysia, the Educational Institutions Act prohibits students from membership of “illegal” groups within or outside Malaysia. The Malaysian government has declared Bersih,
Photos by Will Walton
a movement that advocates electoral changes, to be illegal. The EMAS statement said Bersih 2.0 rallies in Australia would damage Malaysia’s image abroad and requested that Malaysian student organisations warn their members not to protest. The Malaysian Student Council of Australia, which is not politically aligned, told Woroni that it had not disseminated the information, although some state-based councils had. It disputed that the message was any kind of warning, saying it
was merely “advice”. Neither the Malaysian High Commission nor EMAS responded to Woroni’s inquiries about the statement. One of the organisers of the Canberra rally told Woroni that he knew of students who had planned to attend, but who had felt so threatened by the message that they stayed at home. Protesters spoke of a history of Malaysian authorities attempting to control the political activities of students studying overseas, although it had “never been this blatant.”
IN BRIEF
Graduations New Pro-VC Last week saw more than 1700 undergraduate and postgraduate students have their degrees conferred by the ANU. One student told Woroni that “the only regret I have is that I can’t stay longer. It was the best seven-and-a-half years of my life!”
The ANU has appointed Ilana Atlas as the University’s new Pro-Chancellor. As well as having practised law for 22 years, including making partner at top-tier firm Mallesons Stephens Jaques, Atlas’s CV reads like a stock exchange roll. She is on the Board of Directors of Suncorp, CocaCola and Westfield, and on the side, she’s the Chair of the Bell Shakespeare Company. Until last year Atlas was a senior executive with Westpac. Atlas will take up the position next month.
CostCo opens American retail giant Costco opened a store in Canberra last week. The failed Brand Depot near the airport will house the supermarket where shoppers register to receive discounts on bulk purchases of everything from food to sporting equipment. “You can even buy jewelry there!” one excited reader told Woroni. Golden times ahead.
One protester said that since many Malaysian students studying in Australia are on government scholarships which allow students to return to public-sector employment, there are few students who wish to antagonise Malaysian authorities here by engaging in political activity. Some students declared that the crackdown made them afraid of returning home to Malaysia. Speakers at the rally called for voting rights for Malaysian expatriates, and condemned what they said was gerrymandering
and electoral fraud. Woroni spoke to several people who claimed to have witnessed electoral corruption in Malaysia. A doctor said that he had seen his deceased fatherin-law’s name on the electoral roll, along with several patients whom he knew to be dead. Another protester said he had seen “carloads of cash” being openly used to bribe voters.
Deadlines for submission of Woroni content Edition 9: Monday 1st August Edition 10: Friday 12th August (Election Bumper Edition - anyone running for a position on ANUSA should contact us at woroni@ anu.edu.au) Edition 11: Monday 19th September
PAGE 8
OPINION
The Vice-Chancellor’s leadership racket
Tom Westland delves into the seedy underworld of pop psychology endorsed by our university administration TOM WESTLAND SUBEDITOR-AT -LARGE
This weekend, a select group of students will attend the Vice-Chancellor’s Student Leadership Program, during which, as punishment for some unspecified crime, they will be “exposed to models of leadership and insights from recognized leaders from within the ANU and broader community.” All that can be hoped is that they emerge from a weekend of inspirational anecdotes and incomprehensible diagrams more or less unscathed, although it isn’t too difficult to imagine a scenario wherein this year’s victims return in a decade or so to tell their inspirational leadership stories to future participants, thereby
establishing a nice little pyramid scheme of rodomontade and cant. Even if we generously set aside the business of whether the ANU can successfully teach leadership in this dreary, explicit fashion, the question remains: why is it the job of a university to try? Don’t they have enough to be getting on with? James Smithson may not have been talking about universities when he spoke of “the increase and diffusion of knowledge among men” but it’s nonetheless a neat summation of the reasons why we have universities. Adding the development of “leaders” to the university’s purpose represents (to swing into military idiom) substantial mission creep. Because, for all of that it dresses itself up in the language of scholarship, the leadership industry is based upon very little solid empirical evidence. Instead, it grew out of the lurid pop psychology of the
1980s – a movement which, having feasted for a while on the gullibility of the private sector, then set out to colonise institutions of higher learning. It is a mark of the existential confusion of universities that they have yielded to faddish nonsense without a whisper of protest. And let it be noted that in establishing this program we are, ironically, merely following a crowd – other universities have been in on this racket for years. The University of Pennsylvania, for instance, runs a program called “Learning Leadership and Decision Making under Uncertainty and Complexity”. For many years its major sponsor was Lehman Brothers, which, you may recall, went through a nasty little process known as “bankruptcy” not so long ago. As well as selflessly helping to train America’s Future Leaders, the bank was at the time invest-
ing a lot of other people’s money in worthless assets tarted up as AAA-rated securities – a pretty little tactic that might possibly have backfired. And, with all respect to the Vice-
Chancellor’s Leadership Program, it’s hard to imagine a more salient example of what happens when you base a business model on bullshit.
To go or not to go?
Izzy Roper on the death of the physical lecture as students increasingly turn to online resources IZZY ROPER CULTURE SUBEDITOR
Maybe Wattle is the best thing about uni. The convenience of accessing readings, listening to lectures and submitting assessments all from the comfort of your bed is unparalleled. But is the ability to get a degree without actually going to class really a good thing? Worldwide, education is becoming increasingly digitalised – there is a push for open-access, high quality teaching to be available via the Internet to students from disparate geographic and socioeconomic backgrounds. Organizations like the Khan Academy (www.khanacademy.org) have built their business around providing video seminars on topics ranging from algebra to American history. Recorded lectures allow students to learn at their own pace – to re-access lectures they don’t fully understand or
fast-forward through 13 weeks of recordings in an intense STUVAC session. But growing complaints from students and lecturers alike hint at the possibility that this style of learning is ill-adapted to the structure of traditional university education. One real consequence of recorded lectures is poor attendance and the subsequent demoralization of both the lecturers and students who do turn up. One lecturer revealed that he had cancelled two guest speakers in one semester because low attendance would be embarrassing. Low attendance can be a selfperpetuating problem: if you know only ten people are going to turn up to your lecture in Coombs or Manning Clark, do you really want to go? It can be a bit like walking into an empty restaurant. However, only 10.4% students who participated in the 2009 ANUSA survey admitted that they didn’t attend class when the lectures were recorded. Some lecturers appear unperturbed by low numbers. Contracts lecturer Helen Saunders seems to relish addressing the “hundreds at home, typing away in the dark.”
The backlash from lecturers is varied. Their responses range from only making lectures available for a week (Kevin Boreham, International Law), recording onto tapes that can be hired from the library (James Grieve, French) to only recording guest lecturers or none at all. In first year, one of my lecturers displayed particular cruelty when he announced that he was about to relay his top-secret exam hints in the final weeks of the course before turning off the recorder. For people listening at home who have genuine work or study commitments preventing their attendance at lectures, this gives those who can attend an unfair advantage. The worst effect of all may be on tutorials. Everyone’s been to a tutorial where it was painfully obvious that their fellow classmates hadn’t attended the week’s lecture, listened to the recording or even opened the readings. One ANU lecturer, speaking on the condition of anonymity, believed the lecture recordings system was ‘wrecking’ tutorials. Another noted the decrease in ‘exchange of student ideas’ in tutorials.
Solutions are not easy and depend on the particular nature of the course involved. I have been told there is no point in recording mathematics lectures as they are impossible to follow when students can’t see the lecturer’s workings on the whiteboard. While at odds with the student
lifestyle and the temptation of sleeping in till 2 pm, mandatory lectures with exceptions granted for documented work or study clashes may be the first step to reviving a university culture that centres on student participation. .
PAGE 9
LETTERS woroni.com.au
25 July
s r te
s ght a Ro tni
t or S ale e F
d f th s Lon r o e
t t e L
PAGE 10
OPINION
UniLodge: a first year’s perspective VINCENT CHANG WRITER
A romantic sunrise, the chirping of birds in springtime, the refreshing breeze of cool, Canberra air -these aren’t the things that I wake up to. Instead, I am greeted by a great white wall when I look out from my UniLodge window in the morning. A pretty raw deal, if you ask me, considering that I’m paying about $240 rent every week. But, it’s not all bad. There are enough social events to keep me on the verge of being hospitalised for liver failure. There’s community spirit; throughout the year, I’ve seen and been a part of several UniLodge initiatives, such as a chamber choir, a movie club, and even
a coordinated inter-floor game of Cowboys vs Indians. All the people I bump into in the hallways, in the common room, and even in the ten second lift rides are constantly trying to get me involved in things, from university theatre productions, to Humans vs Zombies, to advocacy walks. Studying is something that happens in my spare time. Since day one, my Community Advisor has made sure I’m comfortable with where I am; he’s the kind of person I would feel comfortable talking to if I was suffering from a pre-exam nervous breakdown, or if I had accidentally set fire to my bed. I’m not a big party person myself, but it’s also encouraging that I can just walk down the corridor towards one of the multi-share rooms and know that there’s always something going down, whether it’s just a small gathering or a coordinated effort to relocate the room’s contents
into the corridor. And my room; it proves that UniLodge is truly bang for your buck. I have friends at most of the Daley Road colleges, and I can say that I have about two, or even three times the amount of space that they do. I get an LCD TV, a couch and a king-sized single bed. Unlike at the Daley Road colleges, I don’t have to risk getting forcibly woken up on Thursday night by the sound of a neighbour getting their game on – the walls are soundproofed to the point that I can practice singing at 3am without fear of being lynched. For better or for worse, voyeurism is instead only possible through Facebook UniLodge has been copping a bad reputation around the place, but honestly, I don’t think it’s deserved. The colleges may be livelier, but remember that UniLodge has only been around for the last few years. People and places
grow, given time and space; UniLodge is the same, and honestly, I’m excited for what
will be in the years to come. Meanwhile, I’m going to be enjoying myself here.
Woroni is the proud sponsor of Barry Drive City 98.3FM and hopes to see all of you
at the launch party on Wednesday the 27th July at 7PM. So head on down to the Student Space in Union Court for
Fun Machine & fun times.
PAGE 11
OPINION woroni.com.au
25 July
Don’t blame us Barry, we’re just getting started With accusations of political apathy being thrown around, John Birrell responds on behalf of Generation Y JOHN BIRRELL WRITER
In a recent article on the National Times, Barry Jones, former Labor member for Lalor, Federal Minister and game show whiz, wrote that intelligent discussion in Australian political discourse is extinct and the major reason for this is “community withdrawal and disillusion.” In making this argument, he took a swipe young people who, he suggests, are “lacking in courage, judgement, capacity to analyse or even simple curiosity, except about immediate personal needs” despite being better educated than any previous generation in our history. Now, Mr Jones is right. The political debate at the moment is a joke and Tony Abbott’s contribution to the carbon tax debate makes it seem like
he is on a policy treadmill; he’s all huff, all puff, but in the end he’s going nowhere. But, I don’t think me and the rest of Australia’s young people are to blame for this. We are not uncourageous or lacking judgement and curiosity. You only have to look at the support organisations like GetUp! are receiving to realise that young people in Australia do care. We care about the future of our planet, about Australia’s treatment of refugees and about ending marriage discrimination. To support his argument, Jones cites an speech from 1860 that Abraham Lincoln gave to launch his Presidential campaign, one I’ve never heard of. However, a speech by Lincoln that I have heard about is a little something called the Gettysburg Address and it’s pretty famous. In around 270 words, President Lincoln turned public opinion back in favour of the Civil War and improved his chances of re-election dramatically at the same time. I think this
speech demonstrates another reason why public discourse in Australia is in such a bad way, and why Australia’s young people are abandoning traditional methods of political activity. Unlike Lincoln, politicians in Australia, especially those on the left of the spectrum, are failing to communicate effectively; they are failing to inspire us. Combating climate change with a price on pollution is complex, and Julia Gillard is trying to have a complicated discussion about why it’s a good thing to do, but the problem is that she can’t find the 270 words she needs to change people’s minds like Lincoln did at Gettysburg. Tony Abbott is cutting through at the moment because Julia Gillard and Labor are letting him. They are failing to inspire us and failing to give us something to rally around. This is also why young people are turning to groups like GetUp! for their political action not because we’re selfish.
The current generation of young people may be disillusioned, but then so is the rest of the population, and just because we’re sick of the major parties doesn’t mean we’re uncourageous. Young people are not to blame for the poor
state of public debate in Australia. We have no one to inspire us and besides, until there are more people of our generation leading the country, we’re only just getting started.
What the Union should mean to you XINYU RU WRITER
The average ANU student doesn’t understand that they decide what services are provided to them by the ANU Union. and what direction the Union takes. Nor do not understand how the Union operates or what it actually does. Essentially, the Union is a student-run business complete with a corporate structure and identity. What does it do? It decides which services should be provided and then goes on and operates them. It also has control of valuable space which it can rent out to private bodies to provide a service (Zambreros for example). It is within the constitution that the services must be for the benefit of students. Having served on both the Union and ANUSA, it is my humble opinion that the Union is an organisation that achieves practical outcomes for students. In recent times, there have
been notable developments and serious money being invested into student services. First, I disagree strongly with the person who got rid of the supermarket and put in the 3 Mobile shop. While I didn’t serve on the Board at the time (so I don’t know the whole situation), I think that students lost out. But the two notable improvements have been putting in a Subway and also a Zambreros. Were these good for students? Judging by the queues to get served, yes. In any case, it would be hard to argue that they are worse then what was there before. Take Zambreros for example. Students won since Zambreros now closes later at around 8PM and offers a healthy (and reasonably cheap) alternative. These decisions made some serious business sense. Zambreros, as a private contractor, brings in about nine times more revenue than the original coffee shop and arguably offers a better service at better value. That’s a good thing because that money can now be given to Halls and Colleges and other student organisations. But again, the point here is that you, the average
or above-average ANU student, can help decide upon what you want. So where’s the Union at now? There are some big decisions to be made this upcoming year. Structural decisions. Mainly these questions revolve around which services should be provided and the balance of private and Unionoperated outlets. This year has been a year of reflection, really. However, I hope that the next Board will work hard at improving what we offer. There is a seriously long way to go and that has been made very evident on my recent travels abroad. While visiting a close friend studying in Bocconi, Milan, a quick trip to the student cafeteria blew my mind. While being completely privatised, it offered a decent serving of pasta for 2 euros (or about AUD$2.50). I remember salads and sandwiches being even cheaper, and the diversity of the food was impressive, for such a low price. A bottle of water cost around 30 Australian cents (but water in Europe is generally cheaper than in Australia). So don’t listen to those who tell you that privatisation is always a
bad thing for students. In the upcoming elections, please look past the politics and ideologies, and the CV-builders or those who simply want a shot at power. I suggest you vote for those who you think actually want to improve the organisation, and
ultimately, the service that is provided to you, for you. Xinyu Ru is the current director of the ANU Union board.
FEATURE
PAGE 12
Bush Week Wiktionary defines Bush Week as “an imaginary or symbolic time when people from the bush (i.e., country areas) come to the city and are likely to be preyed on by tricksters there.” Urban Dictionary goes a little further by clarifying that “Bush Week is not an allusion to the colloquialism referring to a woman’s genitalia, at least… not intentionally.” However you feel about these definitions, they definitely don’t quite accurately describe what will happen at ANU from the 25th to the 29th of July this year. The earliest mention Woroni can find of Bush Week is in the 1964 ANUSA board minutes, when 260 pounds were allocated for the week’s festivities. We like to think that the week may have evolved a tiny bit since this time. Spattered across this page is a collection of photos, articles and ANUSA board minute extracts that range across the event’s fifty-year history. Most of this content is courtesy of the ANU Archives – for more exclusive Bush Week content see www.woroni.com.au.
Top Left: Wood-chop contestant in Bush Week ‘87. Middle Left: Students adorn the Pauline-Griffin Building during Bush Week ‘69. Middle Right: Students get wet and wild in Bush Week ‘87. Bottom Left: Iron Man contestants in Bush Week ‘76. Bottom Right: Iron Man contestant laps at the spoils of victory in Bush Week ‘86.
PAGE 13
FEATURE woroni.com.au
25 July
through the ages
Top Left: “Cyril” the skeleton was recovered perched upon a horse on the carousel in Civic after Bush Week ‘67, pictured here reunited with his minder in the ANU Reporter in 1967. Top Right: Bruce Hall students carry a coffin containing two very much alive students to signify that “even in death there can be life” in Bush Week ‘85, courtesy of the Canberra Times. Bottom Left: Extract from Bush Week report in ANUSA Minutes 1967. Bottom Right: Ghosts of Mr ANU past in Bush Week ‘79. Bushweek Report 1967 Bushweek 1967 could be summarized as (i) a success with the Canberra public
a mediocre success with the students
(ii)
a financial disaster.
(iii)
Internal Publicity: Due to some confusion as to appointment of a Publicity Officer, there was a rather disorganised contact with the student body. A complaint I heard often this year was that the bulk of students regard Bushweek as some kind of idiotic ritual indulged in by the active hierarchy. Student Participation: As was expected, Bushweek was virtually carried out completely by the committee and a minute group of interested people. Apart from this, most of the stunts were a failure. Perhaps in future Bushweeks, the appointment of a ‘stunt-director’ to the Committee would result in more imaginative and better arranged stuents. Miscellaneous: Obviously, the number of arrests during Bushweek must be mentioned. The Director claims some embarrassment at this and would prefer to leave the subject unmentioned. Police co-operation in Canberra itself was, as usual, quite good.
Scavenger Hunt was average, with the one high-spot of having Mrs. Holt scavenged.
Conclusion: Apart from the regrettable financial position Bushweek was a moderate success. In the future, a larger and perhaps more experienced committee should ensure that the larger ills of apathy and disorganisation are avoided. Jim Douglas. Bushweek Director.
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FEATURE
Quacking mad in Damascus TOM SANDEFORD MIDDLE EAST CORRESPONDANT
Two months ago, an acquaintance of mine (I’ll call him Jack) saw a duck walking through the main Damascus mall. Stunned, as ducks are exceedingly rare in Damascus, he pulled out his Iphone and snapped a picture. Unfortunately, in his haste, he had not noticed that in the background of his shot were two protesters being bundled into a mini-bus, along with the shadowy outlines of others already in the bus being beaten. Realising his mistake, Jack turned toward an alley on his left. Finding his escape blocked by two rapidly approaching soldiers, he wheeled to his right and found two policemen also intent on conversing with him. At this point he was tackled from behind by the Secret Police (Mukhabarat).
LISA VISENTIN FEATURES SUB EDITOR
So, by a stroke of good fortune, you’ve scored yourself a coveted golden ticket to the most popular shindig on ANU’s social calendar: the illustrious and booze-alicious Law Ball. But alas, you’re not a law student. Fear not fellow scholars, for Woroni has compiled a quick chameleon’s guide to law school stereotypes so that you may blend, cavort, hobnob and pickup without the faintest whiff of suspicion as to your inferior academic persuasions. So quiff your hair and rouge those cheeks, for as inevitable as the six figure salary that awaits these legal debutantes is the promise of debauchery at this year’s Law Ball.
A fight then ensued between the army, police and Mukhabarat as to who was to arrest Jack. Judging his best chances stood with the army, Jack seized one of the soldier’s uniforms, ending the argument. Jack’s kneecaps were saved by the intelligence of the officer present nearby, who ordered both his release and the deletion of the offending photograph. The city’s people had three ways of dealing with the government’s paranoid and schizophrenic actions, such as the arrest of duck-photographing students. Firstly, endless worrying, to the extent that one of my friends had a nervous breakdown. Secondly, fervent belief that nothing was wrong and the media were concocting the violence shown nightly on television. Thirdly, dark humour, the approach most favored by both Syrian and foreign students.. Jack’s story was recounted over many beers, always ending in laughter. Personally, I condemned him for being so stupid as to take any sort of photo in that area, knowing that demonstrations were planned. Jack’s possible arrest and depor-
tation or, if he had been Syrian, abduction, was dismissed from the conversations. The core belief of my friendship group was that partying in Damascus’s old city was far too serious an activity to be affected by civil insurrection. However, as the situation worsened and foreign students were forced to leave either by their universities or by parental pressure, we faced a reality that humour or cheap beer couldn’t hide: some of our drinking companions were not coming with us. Whilst the foreigners had experienced all the positive aspects of the ‘situation’the political debates, the hope, the excitement - our Syrian friends were left with the negatives - a tanking economy, fear of arrest, possible torture or execution and no easy escape. We were faced with the sobering reality that at any moment foreigners could escape by travelling three hours to Jordan or Lebanon. Syrians, however, were left behind facing the ire of a floundering regime hellbent on self-preservation. This abandonment of my friends made my passionate verbal support for democracy in Damascus’s cafes and bars seem a lot like the
West’s constant haranguing of the Arab world as whole. I lacked the physical courage to actually make my words count. I am not suggesting there should be a western intervention in Syria or that I should have stayed in Damascus. The reality is that, like me, Western governments by virtue of Syria’s complexity are powerless to intervene in this domestic strug-
Faking it at Law Ball The aspiring aristocrats
Typically unaccustomed to franternising with the common student populous, only the marbled grandeur of the Great Hall can tempt these well-resourced nobility from their pedestals of pomposity. As regular debating competitions have failed to exhaust their love for the sound of their own faux-British accents, you will find this coutured clique engaged in a dignified articulation of their collective approval of the law.
How to spot them
Look for noses upturned in indignation as the cheap champagne assaults their Moet-Chandon accustomed palates.
The save-the-world activist
The ruthless
gle and, in any case, Syrians would probably reject my involvement or my government’s involvement in what they see as their revolution. But I wish that, in the very least, I had had enough courage to take a photo of that duck.
Law school lout
Ditching the placards for the evening but never the cause, these constant campaigners will spend the night interspersing conversation lulls with any number of preprepared sermons on a veritable wealth of social injustices. Despite having not a skerrick of claim to an ethnic minority from which to conceal their privileged white middleclass upbringing, their perfected sense of pseudopersecution will remind you why your mother always said it was rude to talk politics at the dinner table. Pack your floaties – serious buoyancy is required to survive the tsunami of social guilt flowing from their bleeding hearts.
Disinterested in dressing up their legal aspirations in virtuous and noble terms, these budding sharks have been drafting applications to top tier law firms since first semester of year 8. Of course “justice” is a subjective concept, but there is no denying that a gross miscarriage will have occurred if a graduate is denied the salary package necessary to purchase a double-garage harbor-side condo….where else will they park their Mercedes-benz? Naturally, their conception of pro bono is the six minutes they just spent explaining this to you free of charge.
pragmatists
Mystified as to how they ended up in law school, these boozehounds have been lost since day one when the lecturer began by discussing the number of parties to a case. “Like, dude, isn’t it the other way round…?” Already their law degree is proving useful though. Like, if your mate finds a snail in his beer at Mooseheads then he can sue his next door neighbour….or some shit. After four years of intense dedication and honing of their talents, they’ll be the only ones to acquire some well-deserved consonants to the end of their name upon graduation – PCL. Piss Cutting Legend.
How to spot them
How to spot them
How to spot them
Look for noses upturned in indignation as the cheap champagne assaults their Moet-Chandon accustomed palates.
They’ll be the ones outside puffing on Cubans and drinking top shelf scotch.
Look for table sculls and vomit.
The annual student survey for 2011 is NOW OPEN! Log on to APOLLO right now:
https://apollo.anu.edu.au/default.asp?pid=5659 AND WHO COULD FORGET THE AWESOME PRIZES???
$100 ColesMyer Gift Card DENDY Premium Lounge Double Pass $50 ANU Co-Op Bookshop Voucher 1 of 4 DENDY Traditional Double Passes It takes about 15 minutes and answer as much or as little as you’d like. ANUSA would also like to give a big shout out to our sponsors:
Semester 2 MEETING TIMES: Student Representative Council (6pm, ANUSA Board Room)
Wednesday 3rd August (Week 2) Wednesday 28th September (Week 8) Wednesday 26th October (Week 12)
College Representative Council (6pm, ANUSA Board Room)
Wednesday 10th August (Week 3) Wednesday 7th September (Week 7) Wednesday 19th October (Week 11)
Ordinary General Meeting (12 noon, Union Court)
Wednesday 31st August (Week 6) Wednesday 12th October (Week 10) Everyone is welcome at all meetings! For more information about meetings or times, please check out our website (sa.anu.edu.au) or contact Shaun Wykes, General Secretary (sa.gensec@anu.edu.au)
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CULTURE
Poem Law Students throw a ball DIMITRI LIVAS
UMA PATEL
WRITER
CULTURE SUB-EDITOR
A poem is sewn In thread of gold And written with ink And blood if you’re bold
The tickets to this year’s Law Ball were released online for the first time since students began the tradition of donning their suits (in a faint reference to a set theme), culling friends to fit the eight-person-per–table quota and rehashing strategies to gain the attention of the waiter pouring the supplied wine. The tickets consequently sold out quicker than a student activist offered a big corporate paycheck, much to the dismay of many desperate people sitting at a screen with their pointer massacring the refresh button. The record time of 10 minutes left many wondering if the LSS was attempting to hone their tutorial sign-up skills, if re-sale tickets would soon appear on eBay and whether or not the only attendees would be I.T. students with high-speed Internet connections. Many have cited the ball’s return to Parliament House as the catalyst for the rapid sell-out.
Feel awe in my rhyme It’s written in time Tremble at my stink It’s perfume is pink Beneath me I wonder To pillage and plunder Above though I see I still need to pee An artichoke and egg yolk They fry in a pan Delicious and disgusting There’s many a fan For each eye that smells And each mouth that hears Comes a thundering taste That glistens moist ears Alive and well Who cast over me this spell For my eyes are but wenches Cackling harder than hell I was once young and strong Virile and brave Now i am older And a little afraid I cracked a whip I stirred and crazed Now I’m a wrecked ship Stranded and dazed But rebuild I will Renew and grow strong Or will I give up And wander along Aimless and faithless Lost and unsure My courage I must find It’s the only real cure Older and wiser Built with great care I’ll come back again And chase away the scare With knowing and smarts I’ll play my new parts And plant my roots An oak with some arts I’ll stand tall and sure But maybe not pure My family I love Yes, that is for sure!
Others have pointed to the theme, which is in itself defiles our government’s right to severance; ‘royalty and revolt’ – facilitating every student’s childhood dream of wearing a tiara or sword to a ball in the faint hope of embodying Will & Kate, or Charles & Diana if the attendees are JD students. The popularity of Law Ball as the height of ANU’s social calendar (excluding Bush and O-Week – a mandatory set of social events more typical of an over-hormonal teen’s dream than a Latin-learning-law student’s ideal night) has fuelled accusations that most that attend are not even law students - these accusations are mostly derive from law students. Those seeking to attend under the guise of a law student are required to claim their favourite novel is The Australian Constitution, their favourite celebrity is Justice Michael Kirby and question whether any and every person’s behaviour could result in a court case. Indeed, rumour has it that next year’s theme will be “The Constitution and canapés” – there are already claims that the
Law students photo-whoring.
event will be more anticipated than the judgement in Mabo. Indeed, Law Ball foreshadows the lifestyle that every law student will eventually reach; drinking
excessively while discussing litigation and avoiding the inevitable journey home. The ANU Law Ball will be held on the 5th of August.
jam-fests rather than hour long festival hitssets. Nevertheless their hybrid style of experimental-prog-psychedelic-jazz fusion-rock is blissful for anyone patient enough to fully browse their back catalogue. A twilight set in the Splendour Amphitheatre could be something truly epic if they pull it off. Mogwai: Hardcore Will Never Die, But You Will. Awesome album title, awesome band. It seems somewhat ridiculous that Mogwai have such a wonderful back category and a huge fan base considering most of their songs are instrumentals. With Splendour being their only show in Australia, a headlining set in the GW McLennan Tent will be unmissable for proper music nerds. James Blake: Any genre which becomes the hype thing for a year or so offers us a few wonderful acts along with a selection of truly abysmal ones to follow suit.
Dubstep has enjoyed a wild ride on the fashion train for the last year or so, and its rise can be compared to Nu-Metal’s huge increase in popularity during the 90s. Not a whole lot of good came from that genre’s hybrid of heavy metal and rapping white dudes, although there were some clear exceptions. For every Limp Bizkit there was a gem such as Rage Against the Machine, just like in Dubstep there is a shiny James Blake amongst a dirt-field populated by acts like Skrillex.
Splendour In The Grass SHOTA ADAM WRITER
The Splendour in the Grass lineup has caused much debate this year, with a lack of consistency evident on the bill. There seemed to be a heavy emphasis on folk and rock music last year with a strong undercard populated by popular indie-dance bands such as LCD Soundsystem. The 2011 follow-up seems to have gone for two of the biggest acts on earth to headline the festival, whilst having sub-headliners and smaller acts that cater to a much more niche audience. This is believed to be the main reason for the event’s failure to sellout so far. However, this does not mean there’s a lack of quality on the lineup. These are the top five acts which you can’t miss on your sojourn to Woodfordia. Kanye West: Rumoured to have cost just over one million dollars to bring out for an exclusive one-off show, the Chicago raised
rapper/professional douche bag released what many argue was the best album of 2010. Being such a hugely hyped act and the main selling point of this year’s festival, hits such as “All Of The Lights” and “Stronger” will create mass sing-alongs which will unite both drunk jocks and pretentious hipsters alike. Famous for bombastic and overthe-top live shows, this could be the greatest set in Splendour’s history, especially if Yeezy brings anything close to the stage set up he unleashed upon Coachella festival this year. Pulp: This band does not really have the following they deserve in Australia. Admirably led by one of the world’s greatest front-men in Jarvis Cocker, I implore you to watch this set if you get the chance. ‘Common People’ will be a special Splendour moment for all who embrace Jarvis and co. The Mars Volta: It is entirely acceptable for many to not get this band. Their biggest single “Viscera Eyes” is sung in Spanish for half the track and their live shows are more renowned for three-hour
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CULTURE woroni.com.au
Apologies for the anthropology anthology ZID MANCENIDO WRITER
Have an abundance of awkward silences and trouble filling them? As your resident faux cultural anthropologist, I’m here to help you fill those gaps with exotic facts that will impress and charm with a dose of instant cultural awareness. Don’t have any travel stories? Try this anecdote for ‘authentic souvenirs’! There have been three incidents of
theft from Auschwitz in this year alone. The latest was carried out by a quinquagenarian Israeli couple who stole nine items, including knives, scissors, and spoons. The couple received a suspended prison term and heavy fines and have deported back to Israel. On the subject of relics, a stash of gold, diamonds, and other precious metals to the value of 22 billion USD were uncovered in secret vaults beneath a Hindu temple in the southern Indian city of Thiruvananthapuram. While the existence of the riches under the 16th century temple has been long known, a continuing mystery was
the extent of their value. The find, which is valued at approximately twice India’s current federal education budget, is being heavily guarded until debates over ownership have been settled. Closer to home, Sydney City Council voted 7-2 earlier this month to wipe the term “European arrival” from all official documents and statements pertaining to Aboriginal policy and adopt the term “invasion” instead. Deputy Mayor Marcelle Hoff argued that it was “intellectually dishonest to not use words that offend some people”. In Switzerland a more quixotic
proposal is gaining steam; the Anti-Power Point Party (APPP) is lobbying for a ban on the use of Microsoft Powerpoint presentations. Matthew Poehm, founder of the APPP, explains: “Over 14 years of public speaking training I have noticed that the use of Flip-chart beats PowerPoint in 95 of 100 cases…because of this, the ennui caused by Powerpoint presentations have inflicted “an annual economic damage of 350 billion Euros worldwide”. And to round things up with a bit of intellectual hagiography - Edmund Carpenter, a pioneer of modern Media and Cultural
25 July
Studies, has died at age 88. Famous for ghost-writing a suite of influential books on media theory and introducing tele-visual media to indigenous Papuans in remote mountainous regions along the Upper Sepik river, he is remembered for his steamy love affairs with all of his co-workers and partners. No, that’s a lie. Anthropologists are nowhere near as interesting as the stew of rich dinner party asides they collect. Until next time.
Borders boarding up and freely shipping out JASMINE ZHENG WRITER
A few weeks ago, I found myself in the Borders store in the Canberra Centre, browsing through the heavily discounted books. Almost everything in the store, down to the very shelves, was on final sale. At its peak, Australia had 26 Borders Stores. All of these are being or already have been closed by administration. With the additional closure of the Angus & Robertson outlet in the Canberra Centre, ANU students are pretty much left with Dymocks and Smiths Alternative Bookshop as their only
options in Civic. As a kid, I remembered spending hours in bookshops flipping through page after page. Those
trips to the bookstores cultivated my lifelong interest in reading, with books by Enid Blyton and Roald Dahl lining my
bookshelves when I was younger. While those books have since been tucked away, they remain prized possessions. As an adult, browsing in bookstores remains one of my favourite things to do. I’m sure many would agree that it’s one of life’s sublime pleasures. These days, the likes of e-books and readers such as the Kindle and iPad, seem to have taken over the world of reading, and found their way into lecture theatres. A few years ago, it was novel to see students using laptops in their lectures. Today, you can easily find students scrolling through lecture notes on their e-readers. For the cost-conscious consumer, e-books hold popularity because they are often much cheaper than physical books. For example, while Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner in hard-cover format retails for USD$16, the Kindle edition is nearly half-price at USD$8.30. The increase in e-book choices
available is ever-expanding: while children’s books aren’t common, young adult books are. Besides, reading a ‘board book’ – those durable and tactile things – to a toddler on an e-reader is unimaginable. Nonetheless, Barnes & Noble offer a range of “Read To Me” e-book under their range for younger readers. Leaving e-books aside, hard-copy books sold online are always cheaper than those sold in brickand-mortar bookshops. When all this is considered, the extinction of traditional bookshops doesn’t seem too far away! Yet, while entertaining that possibility, I can’t imagine a day in the future when my kids ask: “What’s a bookshop?”
Who decides what is high calibre? MARK FABIAN WRITER
Sometimes it’s advertising. “You’ll be the envy of your street with this four-burner barbecue.” Sometimes it’s inspirational quotes. “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure.” Whatever the angle, society exhorts us to excel, win, be perfect.
Unfortunately, in a society as populous as ours, perfection requires a great deal of specialisation. Even if attainable, this is unhealthy. Two contemporary paragons of sporting perfection, Rafael Nadal and Michael Phelps, are incredibly narrow individuals with obsessive-compulsive issues – and everyone recognises the stereotype of the brainiac with no social skills. A healthy message is not one that exhorts us to be perfect, but rather encourages us to be highcalibre human beings. But what
does this mean? When we imagine a high-calibre individual, our thoughts are confused by the sexual prerogative and our list is consequently topped by physical appearance and intellect. What about virtues? Not righteousness and moral integrity necessarily, but rather the ancient Greek conception of virtues, which focused on character – things like a sense of humour or patience. So what makes a high-calibre person? Consider first people you consider to be exemplary
(Rhodes Scholars or Renaissance Men, for example). Now think of people that you find immensely easy to get along with. The second group displays some interesting qualities that are undervalued in our perceptions of high-calibre. Well-liked people tend to be patient, rarely anger and aren’t prickly. They are generally easily amused and light-hearted. They are decidedly respectful and decent (a word that needs more use in moral discourse), not to mention generous and gregarious. It should be clear that all these
qualities form something I would term normalcy! This is a curious notion: it’s something everyone can aspire to, achieve, and be noted for. This stands in contrast to the unfortunately common desire for ‘perfection’; a twisted ideal demanding immense innate talents. So would you rather be perfect or a high-calibre human being?
PAGE 18
CULTURE
Quick coffee? SIMON THOMPSON EDITOR
This is the bit where we tell you where to get your coffee. Don’t consider this definitive or exhaustive, but as you’ll see, Canberra’s bean scene has never been so exciting. Drink up! Let’s start at the top. Lonsdale Street Roasters could still be considered the new guy, but now we can’t imagine life (let alone a morning) without them. Each coffee is a team effort; little wonder considering the average size of the queue. Woroni recommends the muesli with seasonal fruit and yoghurt, with of course, a coffee of your choosing. Beans ground to your specs make a nice parting gift.
Nipping at their heels is the newly-christened Two Before Ten. Sporting a new chef, menu and strange things painted on the walls, this café, formerly known as Enter, is going from strength to strength. Get on the warm chicken salad with roasted pine nuts and prosciutto. Already eaten? Here’s the pick if breakfast or lunch have already been taken care of. Tonic Espresso and Harvest, both Group Seven enterprises, are pumping out some the best coffee in town, all in moody, polished concreted digs. They also specialise in syphon and cold drip coffee. Should you still be a little peckish, Woroni’s mate Alessandro bakes a pretty exceptional muffin. If it’s a Sunday, you can enjoy similarly good coffee, plus full menu, across the lake at Kingston Grind. Speaking of Sunday, finding
quality coffee north of the lake can prove harder than watching an entire episode of Crownies, but it is possible. UrbanFood was lucky to escape the fire that (tragically) claimed Parlour and Bicicletta, and is still able to produce solid coffee on the weekend. You will, however, have to do a few extra shifts at work that week to afford more than one. If you’re stuck on campus, the hub of Union Court has plenty of choice, although Woroni is a little worried about a perceived slump in quality. Teatro Vivaldi’s is good for a cheap feed, while The Gods is always a good vantage point from which to observe the ever-caffeining student politicians at work. But for the better brew, make the small trek north to As You Like It (Street Theatre café) or Biginelli Espresso.
25 - 28 July
?
Guess What? What is it? Which on campus eatery did this come from?
Winner gets a prize... Help the Woroni team work out what we had for dinner.
PAGE 19
CULTURE woroni.com.au
f O s Movie
TRIVIA 1.
True or false: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 was converted into 3D in post production.
2.
Bridemaids is the highest grossing Judd Apatow production to date. Which film is the second highest?
3.
True or false: Michael Bay used footage from his previous film The Island in Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon.
4.
Bridemaids characters Megan and Air Marshall John are married in real life. True or false?
5.
Which Harry Potter actor also voices a character in Kung Fu Panda 2?
6.
Which famous astronaut appeared in Transformers 3?
7.
Which critically acclaimed English actress was considered for and rejected the role of Helena Ravenclaw in the final Harry Potter film?
8.
Harry Potter’s Warwick Davis played which characters in the film series?
9.
How many cars were destroyed in the making of Transformers 3?
10. True or false: as a former drama teacher, Bridesmaids’ Jon Hamm actually taught one of his fellow cast mates?
Bridesmaids
k e e The W
Winn er
!
Transformers Harry Potter 7.2 3
AMY GRANT
SAM BRAZIER-HOLLINS
SCOTT BOLTON
WRITER
WRITER
EDITOR
It’s crude and it’s crass – it’s also hilarious. The latest Judd Apatow film sensation is full of boys’ humour, but it’s one for the girls. If you find foul language and a little sexism offensive, steer clear. If not, you’re exactly the kind of person Bridesmaids caters to. Led by a strong cast, including Saturday Night Lives’s Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph along with Australia’s own Rose Byrne, the film explores the fragile dynamics of female friendship. When Annie’s (Wiig) best friend Lillian (Rudolph) becomes engaged, Annie is the obvious choice to be maid of honour. Enter the irritatingly perfect Helen (Byrne) and the friendship is tested – down but not out, Annie vows to be the perfect maid of honour. With a stellar supporting cast including Jonn Hamm and the hilariously inappropriate Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids has some tender moments amongst its mostly ludicrous scenarios. Though predictable, it is well written and thoroughly entertaining. See it for the laughs, but expect to be slightly offended and at times, a little taken aback.
25 July
When Michael Bay released the original Transformers film I fell in love, and not just with Megan Fox. The toys of our childhood came alive on the big screen in all their glory backed by an epic soundtrack. Who doesn’t remember Optimus Prime’s final speech as the ship sailed into the sunset with “What I’ve Done” blasting over it? And that kiss on the camero. But then came the second film and we all died a little on the inside, and, appropriately, so did Megan Fox’s film career. So now we come to what may be the final Transformers film for our generation, at least if Shia LaBeouf gets his way. Just as with the second instalment, Dark of the Moon features the Deceptacons rising up to challenge the peaceful alliance between Autobots and humanity. Only this time they want to bring their old planet along too. That’s really it for the plot. The special effects are once again impressive, but not more so than last time. Without another powerful sound track the film just dosen’t have the same effect the first one had. Linkin Park returns with the title track, but it is not that memorable. Megan’s replacement (Rosie Huntington-Whitely) is completely gorgeous, but what she brings in looks, she lacks in acting ability. Dark of the Moon is one of the longer films out at the moment, but it really can’t sustain itself. You are better off re-watching the original and flicking through a Victoria’s Secret catalogue: it will be more fulfilling and definitely save you some time.
Last Edition’s Trivia Answers
By the time that this review has been published, most people will probably have seen the film, read the book or had someone spoil the surprise. Yet for those who have been living under a rock, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 is the climax of the epic saga. Harry and his friends are chasing down horcruxes – pieces of Voldemort’s soul – in anticipation for the final battle to save the wizarding world. This is a hard film to review by itself as it is very much the continuation of the first part. The action starts straight after where the last one left off, with no extra plot or character development. Because of this, it is an action packed, emotional hit rather than an intricate, in-depth film in its own right. Make sure you see Part 1 beforehand, or you will be missing out. Do not see this film in 3D. It is a visually dark film and I found that wearing the glasses only makes the film harder to watch. The 3D doesn’t add anything to the film and is not worth the increase in ticket price. Despite this, the film’s amazing visual effects draw you into the intricate world J. K. Rowling has created. Potter fans will enjoy the cameos by the supporting actors, popping up to say one line and then disappearing into the background. Maggie Smith turns in another excellent performance as the Transfiguration professor we all want to have as a grandmother. This is very much a cult film; for those who love the story, the final film will not disappoint. If you haven’t been a fan of the story, please start at the beginning (of the books).
Congratulations to last editions winner! Swing by office to collect your tickets Answers: 1)True 2) 18 3) 93 mins 4) Sara Gruen and Emily Griffin 5) False 6) Hattie and Mari 7) False. Patrick Wilson is not related to Luke or Owen Wilson 8) Australia, 20th April 2011 9) Cornell 10) Mel Gibson
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SPORT
Team Of The Fortnight
Quidditch pro quo BRODY WARREN WRITER
Let’s jump back fifteen years, to a time when the most famous Harry in England was a Prince, and Potter was no more than a regular last name. By 1997, enter J.K. Rowling – she was not the first to bring us tales of a wizarding world inaccessible to us Muggles, but her take on all things magical seemed to make it all that much more plausible. Taking the world by storm, the next decade-and-a-half would see her smash literary and film records left, right and centre, leaving a trail of unhealthily obsessed children behind her, most of whom are today entering their twenties, and still as obsessed as ever. And the obsession does not stop at the books. As the worldwide franchise grows, so too does the fan-base, and this year, with the foundation of the Harry Potter Club here on campus, the ANU joined the ranks of a select group of Universities around the globe playing Quidditch. Now, in less than six months, we’ve seen multiple real-life Quidditch matches, and the 2011 House Cup is well on its way. It is astonishing to see the cult popularity status attained by a sport that, to our knowledge, has never actually been played. Yes, I hear my fellow Potter fans crying blasphemy – it is a sport played and followed by witches and wizards all around the world
(I mean, even Wollongong has a team in the wizarding league) – but what is remarkable, is the extent to which it has been adapted in the so-called “real-world”. For those of you unfamiliar with the rules of the International Quidditch Association (whose Headquarters are in New York), Quidditch for Muggles (non-magical folk) is fairly simple. There are seven players on the field, three chasers, two beaters, a keeper and a seeker. The three chasers are responsible for passing the quaffle (usually a volleyball) between them, with the aim of earning their team ten points by scoring a goal through one of three hoops at the end of the field. The two beaters, in our version, are able to throw one of two bludgers at the chasers, who must, if hit, immediately drop the quaffle. The keeper’s role is of course to guard the three hoops to prevent the opposition scoring. Finally, the seeker is responsible for catching the snitch, which in the non-magical form of the game is a cross-country runner donning a
golden tunic of sorts, with a small Velcro set of wings on his/her back. The seeker plays as an additional player in the first half of the match, and then begins “seeking” in the second half, once the snitch is released, and once it is caught, the team that caught it wins 50 points (unlike 150 in the magical version) and the game is over. In addition, to keep with the spirit of the books, all players must at all times have a broom between their legs, just to complicate the game a little further. On 7th May, Fellows Oval played host to the great clash of Gryffindor and Slytherin in the first match of the season. Thanks to the hard work of ANU Harry Potter Club Executive and quite a few faithful volunteers, the game went off with out a hitch, with fanfare to rival that of Rowling’s imagination, and even a story on ABC Local Radio. In the end, the Gryffindor seeker managed to trip the snitch in a tactical move, yet the Slytherin seeker swooped in to sneak the Velcro
wings of the snitch’s back. Unfortunately for the green serpents, the brother of the Gryffinodr seeker managed a last-second goal, getting Gryffindor over the line, 60 points to 50. Game two saw Ravenclaw take on Hufflepuff, on a brisk winter morning on 4th June, in front of an eager crowd of spectators, from ANU as well as a few young families and fans from the wider Canberra community. Once the snitch was released in the second half, Ravenclaw caught it in under two minutes, however after clarification with the umpire, it was a dubious catch from a Velcro wardrobe malfunction. The game then resumed, and shortly after, the Ravenclaw seeker went in to tackle the snitch, leaving the catch open for his Hufflepuff counterpart, who won the game for his house, 110 points to 30, proving that Hufflepuff are indeed, as A Very Potter Musical attests, “particularly good finders!” Now, while devoted players and fans took a brief break in the winter for the release of the final instalment of the film franchise in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (playing now at Dendy Canberra), the Quidditch season will resume this semester, just as exciting as ever. So hopefully now you feel a little more enlightened about those people playing Quidditch that you see on the Chifley Meadows or Fellows Oval. Woroni will keep you updated as the House Cup continues, I mean, it’s no Daily Prophet, but we’ll do our best. To the ANU Harry Potter Club, I take my hat off to you, and can’t wait to accio my broom.
Photos courtesy of Brett Sargeant
WILL WALTON SPORTS SUB-EDITOR
1. Quade Cooper. Top points scorer for the season Cooper, and his Queensland Reds, stole (ha!) the show with an 18-13 upset in the Super 15 final against the Crusaders. Cooper valiantly proved, once again, that intelligence is not a prerequisite for success. 2. The BMC Racing Team. For being brave/silly enough to ride for Cadel Evans, voted as one of the Tour favourites in terms of both final placings, and insufferability. 3. Jarmila Gajdosova. For reminding TOTF that Australian women’s tennis is, in fact, still a sport. Also, for having a thoroughly exotic name, proving that one can never have too many consonants. 4. Mal Meninga. TOTF can never resist a good conspiracy theory, and Meninga’s is a cracker. Talk of insidious powerbrokers in smoke-filled rooms plotting Queensland’s demise smacks of some middle ground between Days of Our Lives and The Empire Strikes Back. 5. Phil Liggett. Cycling’s equivalent of Ray Warren, except he’s actually quite good at his job. With a voice reminiscent of a Dickens novel crossed with a Guy Ritchie film, Liggett’s consistency is a tour de force. 6. Participants in Canberra’s Roller Derby League. For reminding TOTF that sometimes, just sometimes, it’s appropriate to say that girls have balls. A hearty congratulations for all to whom this applies. 7. David Haye’s Broken Toe. Having lost perhaps the biggest fight of the decade Haye blamed his broken little toe for hindering his movement. Considering just how much TOTF hopes to never hear/think about Haye again, it seems only fitting to commend the toe on a job well done.
PAGE 21
SPORT woroni.com.au
25 July
UNIGAMES COME TO CANBERRA This year, the Eastern UniGames were held in Canberra, bringing over 2000 people to the freezing capital. Photos of the ANU Hockey contingent courtesy of Adam da Cruz
BACK PAGE with “Tabloid Tom” Westland
woroni.com.au
25 July
NEWS WORONI OF THE
“Give us your voicemail password, love!”
ALSO INSIDE:
WELFARE BLUDGERS SHARE THEIR SEX TIPS! ADULTERY, HOMICIDE...WHICH ONE IS RIGHT FOR YOU? LEAH GINNIVAN REVEALS: “OSAMA & I: HOW WITCHCRAFT RUINED MY THIRD MARRIAGE”
WORONI LAID BARE!!!
Recent press scandals have undermined confidence in newspapers. To address this, Back Page offers you a rare and exclusive look inside the shadowy, semi-criminal organisation that prints your student newspaper. Suppose that you wished to produce an edition of Woroni, for yourselves, or perhaps as a gift for some cherished relative, all in the comfort of your own home. How would you go about such a daring and copyright-infringing enterprise? You would almost certainly commence your operations by assembling a staff. Woroni employs somewhere upward of fifteen thousand people: almost five thousand journalists, six hundred photographers, forty-nine subeditors, sixty-seven editors, nine tea-ladies, four janitors, a Bulgarian circus troupe, seven butchers, and a horsewhisperer. (The rest of the fifteen thousand, as you’ve no doubt already guessed, work for Israeli intelligence.)
JAMIE FREESTONE’S
YOU CAN’T REVIEW THAT!
Once a week the principal journalists gather in the newsroom. Were you to imagine the newsroom for yourself, you should picture a large open space with a floor. It is further encased on all four sides by immense, solid walls, arranged in a shape that the grizzled old hacks of the newspaper have long been in the habit of calling a “square”. Here is the place where news is manufactured. A collaborative style of composition is encouraged. One journalist will contribute nouns, another verbs. Adverbs are generally decided upon by ballot amongst all those voting-age citizens who own more than five acres of arable land. Sometimes, however, as a treat, the editors will fetch a dozen or so monkeys, write an adverb upon each of them, and force the animals to fight to a
bloody and ignominious death. The surviving monkey’s adverb is then judged the winner. Once the articles have been sketched out in this fashion, they are conveyed to the Fact-Checking department. The principal task of this department is to make sure that all articles printed in Woroni will be of the utmost interest to
both of the newspaper’s readers. Pleasing the readership is a process of luck as much as it is one of skill. For example, it once so happened that an article had gone missing somewhere, and no replacement could be found or purchased. In desperation, the journalists of the day filled the space in the paper with a photograph of geese dressed up as characters from the daytime television series, Passions. The editors, fearing an angry response from Woroni’s sober, news-loving audience, proposed severe punishment for the offending scribes. At the last moment, a letter to the editor arrived. “Dear Woroni,” it read, “invariably I find your newspaper tiresomely smutty. However, my day was immeasurably brightened by the recent photograph of geese dressed up as characters from the daytime
television series, Passions.” Since this time, a special geese-costuming department has been established at Woroni, and, counting sales of calendars and postcards, but excluding screensavers (which are handled by a separate digital spinoff company), it constitutes the largest revenue source for the newspaper. Plans exist for a special, adult “nude” calendar featuring the geese completely devoid of their habitual clothing. And there you have it, more or less – a taste of the inner workings of this vast news organisation. Once you’ve finished with it, we ask that you return it to reception along with your headphones. And please, have a lovely day.
The 21st Century So Far.
“faggot” as much as they had always wanted to. This century has also been a zenith for cultural enrichment. The preeminent artistic modes -- Hollywood and pop music -- finally realised that creating new content was a foolish endeavour and have used the 21st century to replay all pop-culture from the last two decades of the 20th century, as some kind of clever homage to our immediate past. This has been fantastic.
But there has also been some unwanted repetition, like the rehashing of tired old motifs like the environmental movement and the suggestion that we should alleviate poverty in Africa. Fortunately, these have been overshadowed by more vital concerns over what ratio of toning to strengthening exercises one should do while at the gym. And now the bad. Where is the generational challenge of our century? The forging of a mean-
ing through a mass bloodletting? The Lost Generation had the glory of the War to End All Wars, which (excepting its titular claim) was largely successful. Hopefully swine flu or some kind of savage resource war will allow us the catharsis of a mass death toll from which we will emerge morally enriched.
To be fair, this is a mixed bag. First off the good stuff: telecommunications.The Internet threatened to be a receptacle for the sum of human knowledge, but sanity quickly prevailed and it became a delivery vehicle for a diverse, pluralistic pornography and a collection of forums which finally allowed strangers to call each other
woroni@anu.edu.au
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The 2011 Gold Rush Challenge Challenge 1: Sculpture
How it works The Woroni Gold Rush Challege consists of three challenges. You can participate in any one of them, and, as an incentive to join in all week, the winners of the first two challenges will receive 250 bonus points towards the final challenge. However, if you only want to compete in one challenge, you can still win piles of gold (or, in the vernacular, cash prizes). Teams must be of four people or less. All activities must be undertaken legally. Woroni accepts no legal responsibility for any activity undertaken during the course of the 2011 Gold Rush Challenge. You must register your team with Woroni at the Woroni Bush Week Edition launch on Monday 25 July between 1PM and 3PM in Union Court or email your registration to woroni@anu.edu.au.
This challenge is quite simple - you must make something out of a stack of old copies of Woroni. Any other materials are permissible; however, points will be awarded for the number of newspapers used. Teams should come to the Woroni offices between 4PM to 5PM on Monday 25th of July to collect their stack of Woroni copies (they MUST be old editions - inclusion of the Bush Week edition will disqualify you...) Judging will take place at 1PM in Union Court.
In this challenge, your team must take the most inventive photos you can, upload them to Facebook and tag the Woroni Editorial Facebook page in them. However, the photos must contain the following things: a) A copy of Woroni b) A Canberra landmark c) A person Your team may submit as many photos as you like. Judging will occur on Wednesday 27th July at 1PM in Union Court.
The best photo sculpture will win $50 and 250 points towards the Scav Hunt.
The best photo will win $50 and 250 points towards the Scav Hunt!
Challenge 3: Scav Hunt
Collect as many of the following items as you can and bring them to the judging, at 3PM on Thursday 28th July in Union Court. Items which cannot be brought to Union Court should be photographed, uploaded to Facebook, and tagged with the Woroni EASY (50 points each) Woroni article signed by the author A “free lunch” A rejection letter from a government agency to an individual Parliament security pass Rubber fist Scientology brochures A porn parody from a Fyshwick store A mix-tape – the more pathetic the better UC transcript Straight HD transcript Straight P transcript A transcript consisting of only HDs and Ps. Set of identical twins (more points for each set) Best inflatable object Photograph of the sluttiest costume in a church A staged gay marriage in a church Creepiest Mills & Boon novel Ian Young’s signature Best excuse sent to a lecturer with response Marriage proposal to Ben Wellings Have a window washer use a Woroni to clean your windows An animal heart Dress up as John Howard in his running gear Photocopy your derrière in the Chifley Library As many different versions of Monopoly as possible
Challenge 2: Photo Diary
Editorial page. While the scoring will follow the guidelines given below, judges reserve the right to award bonus points for outstanding items or effort.
MODERATE (100 points each) Photograph of ducks crossing the road on ANU A tweet published on Q&A Australia Party membership (bonus points if under the name “Robert Mugabe”) Most garden gnomes Most Woroni-wielding rangas in front of Parliament House A formal dinner party in a public place, with silverware and all A Monty Python Skit acted out in public Platinum Moosehead card A signed business card from a prostitute Livestock. As many as possible Best Ian Young dress up Most men in lyrca “Borrow” mascot costumes from ANU’s residential halls & colleges. Positive pregnancy test Photograph of a team member inside the Brodburger van A red door Photograph in the back of a cop car. As many past ANUSA ticket T-shirts as possible. Best protest sign outside an Embassy The front cover of a newspaper from the year of a team member’s birth
Prizes are as follows: 1st prize: $300 2nd prize: $100 3rd prize: A bag of Lonsdale St. Roasters coffee
HARD (200 points each) A photograph of Wyatt Roy’s ID. A News of the World Diplomatic car plates A Sullivans Creek water rat Make your own edition of Woroni Ian Chubb A happy Degree employee A portrait of a Julia and Tony 7 different Woroni editions from 2010 Proof of an aggressive and public hookup in the National Library Parlour Wine List As many people as possible in red speedos. A priest and a rabbi in a bar Charles & Diana wedding memoribilia
Woroni's Guide To