Woroni Edition Nine 2016

Woroni Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

Page 17 Page 4

Red Fingertips: Chinese Political Refugee, Friend of Ai Weiwei, and ANU Student Tells His Story

Issue 9, Vol. 66

TURKEY: THOUGHTS FROM THE GROUND Page 34

A Cultural Revolution: Sexism in Residential Halls

ALEXANDER JOSKE

SASKIA MILNE

Page 14

Page 35

Peace to the Gods: On Rap Music & Religion

IN THE MEAL OF LIFE, SEX IS THE ICE CREAM

SHAMIM MAZARI

PHOEBE HAMRA

Contents

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

News

INTERNATIONAL

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“Language is a Political Choice”: An Interview with Feminist Philosopher Professor Sally Haslanger

A PHOENIX IS NEVER SLAIN

Alexander Joske

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Red Fingertips: Chinese Political Refugee, Friend of Ai Weiwei, and ANU Student Tells His Story ALEXANDER JOSKE

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So it begins: Amplify ANUSA calls for General Representative nominations Lorane Gaborit

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IN THE MEAL OF LIFE, SEX IS THE ICE CREAM PHOEBE HAMRA

Chandrima Sengupta

WHEN SEX MEANS THE EMERGENCY ROOM

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KAT REED

Chickening out of a Coup?

ADRIAN HINDES

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TURKEY: thoughts from the ground 18

EQUALS. EMMA WIGGINS

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ARTS & REVIEWS 37

Sweeney Todd: In Conversation KAT CARRINGTON

REVIEWS & WORONI RADIO

UNWAVERING

LIFE & STYLE

HOWARD MACLEAN

44

20

Interview with Kenneth Lampl

PUTIN’S WAR

GEORGIA LEAK

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GUY EXTON

CONNECT ANUSA: THE NEXT PHASE

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MIA STONE

Travel as Food for the Soul

45

Lorane Gaborit

2B 4 ANUSA, A COMMENT ON STUDENT POLITICS Lorane Gaborit

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Who Matter? uMatter MADDISON PERKINS

BEHIND THE QUEST TO MAKE ANU GREAT AGAIN

HJAMES KITCHIN

FEATURES 23

THE PURSUIT OF DISAPPEARING

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

Why Copenhagen should be on your bucket list (if it isn’t already) LACHLAN ARTHUR

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AM I MAN ENOUGH? LIAM FITZPATRICK

LEWIS POPE

JADE MCKENNA

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25

Environment

School of Art Launches new Design Program

EYES FOR FOOD

47

MIGUEL GALSIM

BARR AT THE BAR MARK HAN

COMMENT

EMILY BULL

26

BEST BURGER IN TOWN 27

Buzz Kill LULU CATHRO

PLASTIC-FREE FOOD MORGAN ALEXANDER

THE CASE AGAINST SAYING WHAT YOU MEAN

SCIENCE

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CAROLINE HENDY

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RESPECT MY AUTHOR-ITY

WHY NO THINKING PERSON COULD ADHERE TO THE PALEO DIET

ALEXANDRA ELGUE

ON EXPERIENCE & POLICIES

Thermophilic Composting The Ecological “Mr. Fusion”

JAMES HAYNE

JOSH NERI

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28

JONO CRANE

You think that’s a MediScare? THIS is a MediScare!

AN ALTERNATIVE FOOD STOP

49

KATE STEWART

12

ON SELECTING THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES RAQEEB BHUYAN

ON THE DEPARTMENTS & THEIR WORK JADE MCKENNA

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A FAG’S FUTURE LAWRENCE ROGERS

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Peace to the Gods: On Rap Music & Religion SHAMIM MAZARI

ELLEN JANE

29

CREATIVE WRITING 30

THE FOOD TRILEMA ISAAC DUGDALE

SOME FOOD FOR THOUGHT 34

A Cultural Revolution: Sexism in Residential Halls SASKIA MILNE

IN BED WITH SEX ED ALEX ELGUE

35

CREATIVE WRITING MAKAYLA

MDMA ASSISTED PSYCHO THERAPY ANDREW MARTIN

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Using Green Fluorescent Protein to Visualise Cells: a Technology Review MANTIAN ZHU

SPORTS SATIRE Etc.

Acknowledgement of Country

Woroni is published on the land of the Ngunnawal people.

‘Woroni’ translates to ‘mouthpiece’ in the Ngunnawal language.

Contact

Advertising inquiries and submissions can made at: advertising@woroni.com.au Phone: (02) 6125 9574 Shop 15, Lena Karmel Building 26 Barry Drive, Acton 2601 Woroni is printed by Capital Fine Print.

Board of Editors

Editor In Chief - Ria Pflaum Deputy Editor in Chief - Daniel McKay Managing Editor - Liam Osawa News Editor - Miguel Galsim Communications Editor - Finn Pedersen Content Editor - Bronte McHenry Radio Director - Caitlin Magee Creative Editor - Joanne Leong

Staff

Admin Assistant - Gowrie Varma Financial Controller - Brendan Greenwood

Sub-Editors

Managing Assistant - Sam Taylor Marketing - Lorna Zhang Communications Sub-Eds: Photography - Bremer Sharp & Pubudu Dissanayake Instagram - Tony Gu Comment - Nishanth Pathy Features - Vera McCarthy Arts & Reviews - Gabriele Naktinyte & Grace Shalders International - Nahed Elrayes Life & Style - Alexandra Green Science - Jennifer Tinston Environment - Morgan Alexander Sport - Madhuri Kibria Satire - Zoe Saunders Radio Technical Officer Jamie Palamountain Radio Presenter Liaison - Oscar Jolly Radio Media Liaison Brittany Wallis Radio Music/DJ - Brendan Keller-Tuberg Radio Events: Paul Dickson Radio Digital Content: Loretta Lackner Design - Eva Krepsova Social Media - Michael Turvey & Annabelle Nshuti

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Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

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“Language is a Political Choice”: An Interview with Feminist Philosopher Professor Sally Haslanger Alexander Joske

Professor Sally Haslanger is no stranger to bold ideas, having once proposed in a landmark paper that the word ‘woman’ should refer to those who are systematically subordinated by virtue of their interpretation of their bodies. Since entering academic philosophy in 1977, her work has bridged metaphysics and feminist theory, and is studied in one of ANU’s first-year philosophy courses. As Ford Professor of Philosophy and Women’s & Gender Studies at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, she is currently visiting ANU, having delivered the prestigious Jack Smart Lecture for 2016 on the topic of ‘Cognition as a Social Skill’.

For a philosopher now so mostly known for her feminist work, her interests and output have varied much.

Brought up as Christian Scientist, a group she describes as a ‘very narrow, unusual Christian religion’ that shuns the use of medicine, Haslanger, her mother, and her grandmother ‘were very involved’, though she broke off from the sect when in high school.

Speaking of her time at Reed College, a small liberal arts college in Oregon, Haslanger said, ‘I hadn’t decided on what I wanted to major in, and by the time I got to the point where I needed to make a decision I thought religious studies would be a good major’.

However, after returning from a trip to India, she found herself studying logic, metaphysics, and philosophy of language, in stark contrast to her earlier interests in dance and religion. Enraptured by philosophy, and encouraged by the support of her professors, she pursued a doctorate in philosophy at the University of California, Berkeley. ‘I just fell in love with it … that’s how I got into it’.

Catalysed by a paper she had been approached to write for a 1993 collection of feminist papers on reason and objectivity, she hasn’t stopped working on feminist theory since. ‘It was such a good experience, because

to Haslanger, who has spent her life pondering and arguing about such questions, a satisfactory answer is elusive.

One explanation often put forward is that women are generally more social than men, with women dominating social professions like teaching, and nursing. Academia in general, with its comparative isolation, has high rates of mental illness; yet talking about the role of women’s social tendency, Haslanger admitted that ‘there’s something that’s even preventing introverted women from doing philosophy, and I’m not sure what that is’.

At the same time, Haslanger strongly encouraged students to study philosophy. ‘I think it’s a fabulous time to do philosophy. Women and minorities are making progress, they’re changing the way we think about things, and what we do.’ it was the first time I brought together my training in philosophy with my political activism’. Prior to that point, her work had mostly been in metaphysics, asking questions like ‘how can we step in the same river twice’.

‘I’d gotten frustrated with metaphysics’, a field in which Haslanger felt little was at stake. ‘Then I started doing more metaphysics about the social world, where there’s a lot at stake.

There’s a lot at stake trying to understand if race is real or if it’s an illusion, or if gender’s real or an illusion’.

Though Haslanger endorses a social constructivist stance about gender, she said that ‘some attention to gender is necessary for a just society’, emphasising her view that ‘the choice of our language is a political choice’.

While gender may be an illusion, philosophy has and still is dominated by men, with women comprising around 23% of Australian female philosophy academics in 2006, a figure comparable to that of mathematics and physics. Like most female philosophers,

Haslanger is acutely aware of this disparity. ‘There weren’t many women doing metaphysics at the time [in the 80s and 90s], so for every conference I went to, I was the only woman, and I was doing work where mainly I was citing men’.

Haslanger spoke of the ‘leaky pipeline’ that drips over the life of a philosophy enthusiast: in Australia, women are more likely to take a firstyear philosophy course than men, their numbers quickly decline over the years, something that is a constant source of puzzlement and debate within philosophy. ‘One hypothesis is that introductory syllabi and courses don’t really cover that many women, or persons of colour … and so women just don’t feel as engaged’.

Stereotype threat, the drop in performance that results from being a stereotyped minority, was also raised

by Haslanger as a possible cause. ‘If you’re in a minority of one in your group with a stereotype, like white men can’t jump, or whatever, you would tend to do worse’. Yet even

‘On all the tests – the GREs, LSATs, and MCATs – philosophy students do the best out of the humanities, and some of them do better than the sciences and even economics. So, doing an undergraduate degree in philosophy is compatible with doing anything’.

David Chalmers, one of the most-cited philosophers of the century and a professor at ANU, made his name investigating ‘the hard problem’, the question of why qualitative sensations exist. Yet the real hard question for philosophers might be how to understand the state of female participation within academic philosophy.

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

Red Fingertips: Chinese Political Refugee, Friend of Ai Weiwei, and ANU Student Tells His Story Alexander Joske

Content Warning: Self-Harm Five years ago, on the 20th of February 2011, democracy protests lit up in China, earning the moniker ‘the Chinese Jasmine Revolution’ after the Tunisian incarnation of the Arab Spring. At the same time, Wu Lebao was writing poems and satirical messages on twitter, like, ‘In China you cannot find Jasmine flowers/ If they’re in your hand, police arrest you/ A fist and a foot they come and beat you/ People of China – surely it couldn’t be’. In the months following the Chinese Jasmine Revolution, Wu Lebao was interrogated and arrested by the Chinese Domestic Security Protection Bureau, an organization likened to the Gestapo. Having sought asylum in Australia in 2012, Wu Lebao just started studying mathematics at ANU this semester.

Fresh-faced and unassuming, Wu’s appearance is far removed from that of the China’s most famous dissident, Ai Weiwei, yet the two know each other well. Only weeks before the democracy protests, Wu was invited to stay with Ai Weiwei in his Beijing studio. The two first met through twitter, with Wu’s unremittingly dissenting tweets and blog posts catching Ai’s attention. Wu believes this played a role in his arrest, which came on the 14th of July in the same year.

‘The point [the interrogators] wanted to know was my relationship with Ai Weiwei. They asked me to detail everything from when I was living in his house.’

However, the threat of imprisonment did not worry Wu, who said that he had accepted that his actions as a dissident would get him arrested, long before his arrest eventuated.

His first involvement in anti-government activities was in 2008. ‘I published some essays on my blog in which I questioned whether Tibet was really a natural territory of China since ancient times, as authorities had told us.’ In response to his blog posts, the Chinese authorities threatened to expel him from university, as well as telling him ‘your issue can also interfere with your girlfriend’s degree’. Ever recalcitrant, he ignored their demands that he censor himself.

foreign journalists were beaten by plain-clothes police while covering the events, and jasmine flowers were banned from sale.

Then, in 2010 he was once more brought in to be questioned about his involvement in Ai Weiwei’s investigation into government cover-ups of the 2008 Wenchuan Earthquake, in which over 60,000 people died, and of a Shanghai apartment fire that killed 58 in 2010. During the Wenchuan Earthquake, in one school alone, over 1300 students and teachers died, with these so-called ‘tofu-dreg schoolhouses’ being blamed by many on ignored engineering standards and government corruption. As part of Ai’s investigation into the Shanghai apartment fire, Wu says that he ‘directly gave the government a call, asking them how many people died’.

‘I was brought to the police office, one day later, I was put in a shortterm detention centre, and nine days later I was put in a long-term detention centre – that was hellish, really hellish. In fact, it was a labour camp.

I was forced to do labour for at least 14 hours a day, sometimes it would go to 16 or even 18 hours per day with no break.’

Following his interrogation in 2010, he lost his job as a mathematics instructor at a local university. ‘At that time I was enthusiastic about political movements. Now I had more time for that.’ It was with this free time that he took up the offer to stay with Ai Weiwei and work for him, travelling North from his hometown of Benbu in Anhui province to Beijing. Returning to Benbu for the spring festival in 2011, he found himself unable to return to Beijing due to the tense security situation during the time of the Jasmine Revolution. During the democracy protests in Beijing, four

In April that year Ai Weiwei himself was arrested under the charge of tax evasion relating to his company Beijing Fake Cultural Development Ltd., the name of which is a play on a certain English expletive. Soon after Ai’s release in June, Wu was inevitably arrested on the 14th of July.

When I asked how long he had spent in the labour camp, it was evident that his time there was still preying on his mind. ’97 days,’ he said, ‘I counted every day.’ During his time at the labour camp, he lost more than 20 kilograms, and for his work he was paid around $0.06 AUD each day. Later, he developed a stomach infection that he contracted in prison, joint pain due to the labour, and currently suffers from depression. His mood, he said, goes up and down, but is generally quite low.

While his time in the labour camp was like torture to him, he said his time in the short-term detention centre was even worse. There, he was subjected to over 30 interrogation sessions in the course of nine days.

Every statement they extracted from him had to be fingerprinted. Pressing his finger into the ink, whose crimson

red echoes that of the Chinese flag, hundreds of times until its causticity broke the skin on his finger.

‘They made me fingerprint every page’, he said, ‘Initially they asked me about Jiang Zemin’. Jiang Zemin, 89, is the former President of China, whose name appears online each day in the form of false reports about his death. Wu admitted to having participated in spreading and sometimes even starting these false rumours, and was officially charged for the crime of ‘fabricating or dissemination online rumours’. Wu maintains that these were jokes, and just a form of internet trolling, rather than part of some conspiracy to destabilise the Chinese government.

The head of his prison cell during this time, a man called Wang Fei who had been arrested for smuggling guns, would not let him sleep, beat him, and forbade him from using the toilet.

However, Wu believes the authorities’ main interest lay not in these rumours, but in the Jasmine Revolution and Ai Weiwei. ‘They initially asked me about Jiang Zemin, but that lasted only for one day. After that they asked nothing about Chairman Jiang [laughs], they just went to [asking about] the Jasmine Revolution.’

The officer leading the interrogation bragged about being in charge of the investigation into Ai Weiwei. ‘He was very proud of it,’ Wu said.

‘They just wanted to make an excuse to bring me to their office – their ideas are crazy’, he said, ‘it was nothing to do with Jiang Zemin’.

‘The worst threat they made during the interrogation was that – [the

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interrogator] thought I was hiding something about the Jasmine Revolution – he threatened that he would charge me with … insulting somebody.’

The interrogator explained his cruel plan to Wu. Wu had made a satirical twitter account impersonating Section Chief Xu, a police officer made notorious by Ai Weiwei’s documentary ‘Disturbing the Peace’. The interrogator also pointed to insulting messages Wu had written about Bo Xilai, the then-governor of Chongqing who has now been disgraced, and Fang Binxing, the architect of the Great Firewall of China. He told Wu that he would wait for Wu’s prison term to end, and then bring each of these victims of Wu’s satirical tweets to press charges against him in turn, extending his prison term to over 10 years.

Thankfully, Wu knew his threats were empty.

Eager to draw information from Wu, the authorities pressed him on his knowledge of the Jasmine Revolution.

‘I didn’t know anything’, Wu said.

The police, however, insisted that he and Ai had some involvement in the Jasmine Revolution, a suspicion brought on by the close timing of Wu’s visit to Ai in January, and the protests in February.

Wu maintains that he and Ai mostly talked about Qian Yunhui, a local village leader and critic of the government who had been suspiciously run over by a truck a month before.

Witnesses of Qian’s death claim to have seen policemen holding him

Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

down as the truck loaded with rocks from a construction site drove over him, and Ai was attempting to investigate the incident.

After being released from prison, Wu was placed under house arrest. His internet and phone lines were cut, and he was made to write fortnightly essays thanking the police for releasing him from prison. ‘I smoked, I read, I slept. I just tried everything to kill the time. Sometimes I wanted to kill myself.’ I asked if anyone visited him, to which he said his only guests were the police.

In the buildup to the 18th National Congress of the Communist Party of China, in 2012, Wu was again harassed by the police, who searched his house. When he asked them for a warrant, they wrote one up on the spot.

Wu was then briefly interrogated in a room that looked directly into the exact prison cell in which he’d been imprisoned the year before. ‘I was determined to leave China,’ he said.

‘I did some research and found that Australia’s tourist visa is the easiest to get among Western countries.’

Flying to Australia from Hong Kong, he applied for a protection visa in Melbourne, with the help of the Refugee & Immigration Legal Centre.

‘Hardly could I speak a complete sentence of English then. It was very hard.’

Since coming to Australia, he no longer considers himself a dissident. ‘If I

were still a dissident, I would never have left [China], I would continue my career in [China]’, although he still critiques the Chinese government on twitter.

After arriving in Australia, he faced discrimination from members of the Chinese community. In one case, he was kicked out of a room he had rented after the Chinese landlord discovered his past as a dissident.

Wu also told me he felt many Chinese had taken advantage of Australian protection visas. ‘There is a group of recipients of Australian visas who get together every year and they give a toast to thank Deng Xiaoping who shot the students [in the Tiananmen Massacre]’ In light of these events, many eventually received permanent residency after then-Prime Minister Bob Hawke offered extended visas to Chinese students in Australia in the massacre’s aftermath.

Although he lived in Melbourne upon arrival, Wu eventually chose to come to ANU. ‘The reason I left Melbourne was that there are so many Chinese people there. I came to a European colony to seek asylum, not a fucking Chinese colony!’

Wu further spoke to me about the Chinese students at overseas universities like ANU. ‘I know some people who studied overseas … they told me they needed to follow instructions from the embassy [when overseas].

They told me they were required to welcome Uncle Xi [Jinping], join clubs, and if they found Tibetan or

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Falun gong protesters within the welcoming party, they had to fight against them, blocking them with Chinese flags.’

A similar event happened in Canberra during the 2008 Olympic torch relay, where thousands of Chinese students clashed with pro-Tibet protestors.

Wu told me he believed there was a culture of separation from domestic students among Chinese international students. ‘They group together with each other and, let me tell you … some people even talk about turning Australia into a part of China.

Crazy. It might happen.’

He also pointed me to an account called Australian Red Scarves on Wechat, a popular Chinese social media platform. It was a reference to the attire worn by members of the communist Young Pioneers organization, in which some Chinese in Australia were priding themselves on their inability to speak English.

‘I consider myself an Aussie’, Wu told me, and his idea of an eagerness to become Australian is shown by the difficulty he has writing Chinese characters, and his occasional reluctance to converse in Chinese. Wu hopes to finish his Bachelor’s degree in Mathematics, pursue a PhD in the field, and continue building his life here in Australia.

A Chinese translation of this article may be viewed on the Woroni website.

STUPOL SPEcial

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

So it begins: Amplify ANUSA calls for General Representative nominations Lorane Gaborit

With 3 weeks remaining before the 2016 ANU Students’ Association (ANUSA) elections, the first ticket, Amplify ANUSA, has officially launched. Woroni sat down for an interview with Jessy Wu, Kat Reed, and Waheed Jayhoon, Amplify’s Education Officer, General Secretary, and CASS representative respectively.

The ticket, spearheaded by current Education Officer James C on nol ly, claims to be running on a platform of genuine “inclusivity and diversity” by including people from diverse backgrounds, and from different social and marginalised groups.

For example, Wu and Reed emphasised the equal split between male and female or non-binary members on the ticket, along with the high proportion of people of colour.

Additionally, Amplify ANUSA has cited their focus on allowing General Representatives to run on their own distinct platforms as a differentiating factor between themselves and other tickets in the past. Wu claimed they will work with these General Representatives and their “passion projects” by using ANUSA as a springboard to “amplify their voices.”

There are currently 10 vacancies available for these General Repre-

sentative positions, with nominations open on Amplify ANUSA’s website.

reach; and more transparency within the treasury of ANUSA.

Although this move further suggests a commitment to “inclusivity and diversity”, it should be noted that positions among the executive and college representatives have already

As part of these policies, Amplify also intends to oppose Coalition Government education reforms that they see as harmful to students, with Wu citing changes to HECS as an example.

been decided outside of this process, largely from hearing expressions of interest “along the grapevine” and through discussions with different societies and colleges.

Other policies discussed included ways of improving mental health and advocacy through the union court redevelopment, employment of more counsellors, and a university wide survey; the creation of a clubs and societies council to improve funding allocation and collaboration; an internal restructuring of the education officer role in order to expand its

Additionally, Amplify perceives that the main topic that will dominate discourse during the upcoming elections is the idea of change, and the need to rethink how ANUSA has traditionally worked and how it can improve.

“Change is very much on everyone’s mind at the moment. The general feeling at ANU is that most students are quite sick of the traditional way that tickets are being run… so we’re trying to change the status quo a little bit,” Reed said.

“We’re trying to find a mix of what are the traditional ways that worked and were effective and are important to keep, and what are the things we can change and how we can approach this in a more accessible manner.”

This will include keeping the student community engaged past the elections, according to Amplify.

When questioned about preserving student engagement and diversity post-election, they claimed the very structure of the ticket and its diversity will help do so, along with greater accessibility through “standing order reform.”

Amplify cites the greatest challenge in student politics to be “apathy.” But cynicism is also a strong presence amongst the broader student population.

In the face of the introduction of online voting and restricted campaign areas in particular, only time will tell if the creation of a “positive vibe” around campaigns, transparency within the ticket, and accessibility of positions will remove the negative reputation surrounding student politics.

STUPOL Special

Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

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CONNECT ANUSA: THE NEXT PHASE Lorane Gaborit

If the name “Connect ANUSA” sounds familiar, it’s because it is. The key to Ben Gill’s first successful campaign for president in 2014, it is now being reappropriated for the 2016 ANUSA elections. Woroni had the chance to discuss the latest phase of Connect with the ticket’s President, Karan Dhamija.

Dhamija opens the interview by discussing his past experiences with ANUSA, especially his time as the Vice President candidate of the 2014 Connect ticket with Gill. “We had a very similar vision that has been very successful”, he says, “but now I think it’s important to move onto the next phase.”

Dhamija describes this next phase as being one that is particularly focussed on advocacy, now that the services ANUSA provides have been improved, and the internal structure of ANUSA

has been restructured to become more efficient.

In terms of this advocacy, Dhamija reiterates the way that ANUSA is a mouthpiece to both students and the university, and should be used to “bring new issues to the forefront of debate so that action can be taken”.

As an example, and on a personal note, Dhamija mentions the issue of low SES accessibility to ANU and the need to improve it, as well as the need to address issues affecting students in the broader Canberra population, such as poor public lighting in surrounding suburbs.

“There are going to be massive changes to the ANU over the next two years,” Dhamija says, “We are thinking about the challenges we are going to have, and making sure the interests of students are being taken care of whilst these changes are

being implemented.”

But the question of who “we” is still remains. Here Dhamija tells us about his attempt to form a team from both people who have been involved in ANUSA before, as well as people who are new to the organisation, through publicly posting on Stalkerspace in June to ask for interest, as well as by approaching different groups on campus personally.

For Dhamija, the result is that “most of the people on my ticket I did not know before this process started” and it means that the process hasn’t been in a “closed off bubble.”

Interestingly, Dhamija also claims that Connect was the first ticket to use the ANUSA Expression of Interest forms, and that the ticket opened positions at all levels to applicants from these forms, a key difference between itself and Amplify.

He adds that it is “hypocritical” for a

ticket to say that it wants to encourage diversity if it only does so after it has formed at the exec and college rep level.

Yet, it should be noted that Dhamija is not running a full executive, claiming that he “didn’t want to fill positions for the sake of filling positions” and that if he is elected he will be “happy to work with anyone”.

In terms of the topics that will dominate discourse over the upcoming two weeks, Dhamija predicts the election to be a positive one, with both tickets focussing on advocacy and discussion of future challenges for the ANU and ANUSA, and agreeing on most of the major issues.

“What I want this election to be about is who has more detailed plans about what the next phase of the organisation is,” Dhamija says, “and I think we will have the more detailed plans.”

2B 4 ANUSA, A COMMENT ON STUDENT POLITICS Lorane Gaborit Would it really be an ANUSA election if there were no joke tickets?

According to Phillip Etches and Matthew Bunten, spokespeople for the satirical ticket 2B 4 ANUSA, such a situation would be highly unlikely. Their ticket, which has formally joined the 2016 ANUSA race, is based on the premise of being solely comprised of people living on the same floor at Burgmann College.

To discuss what prompted the creation of the ticket and criticisms of student politics, Woroni sat down with the two Burgmann residents.

According to Bunten, a member of the floor but not a formal candidate, 2B 4 ANUSA arose not only from a desire to have a bit of fun with the elections and student politics, but also from discussions about the way that Australian politics have become more and more insular in recent times. In his opinion, the creation of a ticket existing on a single floor in a single college for the ANUSA elections is simply region-

alism in broader Australian politics being taken to its logical extreme.

Additionally, Etches commented on the idea that 2B 4 ANUSA is also a statement on the claimed “inclusivity and diversity” of other tickets running at ANU, which are “about as politically inclusive and diverse as a single floor forming its own ticket.”

At this point, Bunten chimed in, praising Amplify’s decision to accept expressions of interest (EoI) from potential gen rep candidates, although he questioned the utility and motive of this decision, stating that ANUSA had already created an EoI process that would have made the information available to all potential tickets.

Finally, the idea of playing on the Burgmann stereotype appealed to the frontrunners of the ticket, who wanted to create something that was the absolute “Burgmann of Burgmann,” humour they claimed “everyone can get around.” For example, the presidential candidate for the ticket is first year Commerce/Law stu-

dent Gibson Crampton, whose “two weeks of sports whip experience will stand him in good stead” according to Etches, “though that’s still a better election record than other presidential candidates.”

In terms of policies, the ticket outlined their platform to include getting a Jacuzzi for convo (a section of their floor at Burgmann); finding Corndo (an ex-2B resident) a boyfriend on exchange; bringing Brodburger to the ANU campus by 2024; abolishing the position of Treasurer (as no members of 2B had the accounting prerequisites and therefore the position was discriminatory); and giving all 2B 4 ANUSA executive candidates preferential treatment in ALP pre-selection in the federal election of their choice.

2B 4 ANUSA does not expect to win any positions in the upcoming election, and instead wishes other ‘serious’ tickets “nothing but the best”.

Regardless, the formal creation of their ticket has generated heavy criticism, including arguments

that they are wasting ANUSA’s time and money and that vote splitting could compromise the positions of legitimate candidates. Additionally, the ticket, by its very existence as a piece of satire, has been criticised for demeaning and trivialising the policy and advocacy work of students in ANUSA in important areas like mental health and higher education policy.

In response the 2B 4 ANUSA spokespeople reiterated their belief that their joke ticket aims to comment on some of the reasons for apathy towards ANUSA amongst the student population, and to engage students who otherwise would not have been engaged.

Etches argued that the “biggest issue of ANUSA is how it’s been used as a springboard for real politicians... this is more egregious than anything we could ever do.”

“This ticket is a joke, but politics is not a joke” Bunten told us as we wrapped up the interview, “Being funny is not the opposite of being serious.”

NEWS

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

Who Matter? uMatter Maddison Perkins ANUSA general representative Maddison Perkins and Cameron Allen have started an initiative to promote wellbeing amongst students. The initiative entitled ‘uMatter’ will be centred around educational talks and exercises which will aim to create awareness across campus.

Maddison Perkins writes: Mental Health and Wellbeing is a passion of Cameron Allen and I. We believe that a well-rounded sense of wellbeing is the basis of getting the most out of your time at university.

As a result we have decided to use our positions as gen reps on ANUSA to run an educational series called uMatter. The initiative will run throughout semester 2 focusing on aspects of wellbeing that we feel are often overlooked or not as deeply understood around the university.

Our first event will be a panel discussion on the topic of Body Image, focusing on eating disorders. This first panel, currently planned to run in week 6, will feature a panel consisting of a combination of experts in the field, such as carers of those suffering from eating disorders and stu-

dents who are willing to share their own personal experiences. Our aim is to both help those who are suffering with the illness find means for getting support as well as to educate those who have no real understanding of how an eating disorder manifests, to be able to spot signs in family and friends. We believe this is an important discussion to have for university students as it’s a more prevalent issue than many realise. This is a complex issue with many topics to discuss such as the impacts of eating disorders on an individual, how to support a friend, challenging stereotypes, and way to recovery.

Future events will consider topics such as neurodiversity and personality disorders, growing issues in today’s society.

For those interested in attending we welcome you to bring questions to be answered by our panel and keep an eye out for more details on date and venue on the ANUSA website and Facebook page.

Disclaimer: Maddison Perkins and Cameron Allan are currently running on the Amplify ANUSA ticket

Behind the Quest to Make ANU Great Again (satire)

By Lewis Pope Melania Trump We have so many problems in this university. And only one ticket can fix the problems. The system is rigged and Crooked Connolly and Corrupt Kay have no interest in fixing it!

Only us.

We do have a tremendous, tremendous amount of problems, but only we have a plan for every problem.

Our first plan is The Wall. We have lost control of our borders. Weak leadership from President Goofy Ben Gill (is he even an ANU student? He should prove it with his enrolment certificate). We have huge amounts of Fenners and people of Fenner heritage flooding onto campus. Only we will build a wall around Fenner. A great, big, beautiful wall. And Fenner is going to pay for the wall! Now, we have nothing against Fenners, and quite frankly I think we’re going to win the Fenner vote. And it makes sense for them to pay for the wall.

They are going to want to pay for it.

And every time I hear a Fenner say they won’t, the wall just gets 10 feet higher. There is no way to get over

the wall, because if you get up one side with a ladder, there is NO WAY DOWN the other side.

that will Make ANU Great again.

We’re gonna have lots of plans. Lots of plans.

Our second plan is to temporarily suspend enrolment in the Tuckwell program. We have a huge problem right now that Crooked Connolly doesn’t want to face! Radical Tuckwells pose a tremendous threat to our university. Only we will keep you safe. That is why we need a total and complete shutdown on Tuckwells entering the university, so that we can figure out what the hell is going on! Once we figure that out, we can start to fix the problem.

Our candidates are the best candidates. We have such great, great people. We have great people you haven’t even heard of.

We need to be tough on Tuckwells, we’re gonna bring back hazing, and a lot worse than hazing. What Goofy Gill is too weak to do we will do! We will haze Tuckwells’ families if need be! The Tuckwell are communicating via Wattle, but Gill won’t do anything. When we win, we are going to call up Brian Schmidt and get him to shut down Wattle!

We have so many, many more plans,

Our President is Mathias Richter.

Mathias is in his 13th year* at the ANU. He has been so successful before getting into politics, but things have not been easy for him. He started out in Sydney. His father gave him a small loan of a million dollars, and from there, he invented the Richter scale, and the hardship forged him into the strong leader he is now.

Everywhere he goes, people are demanding the good brand of Richter. It’s a household name. Everyone keeps coming up to him and thanking him. The Tuckwells have called us up and said, ‘Mr Richter, thank you, thank you, thank you. You’re finally tackling these problems.’ Because they see that we have so many problems, and he’s the only one that can fix them! His IQ is the highest

and you all know it. Try not to feel sad or inadequate.

Mathias is going to provide strong, tough leadership. Gill and Connolly never condemn the radical actions of Tuckwells, and have been wasting SSAF-payers’ money! They say they’re tough, but real tough guys don’t need to say that they’re tough. You can tell that Gill and Connolly aren’t tough because of how much they say it!

Mathias is a real tough guy.

We are planning to abolish all colleges other than CBE. All we need to do is learn how to make deals. People are sick of hearing from “experts”, so we’re gonna get regular people finally running the show and overthrow the rigged system.

Show that you support making ANU great again! Like our Facebook page, or send us your own small loan of a million dollars! *month.

Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

9

NEWS

School of Art Launches new Design Program Miguel Galsim On July 22 ANU’s School of Art announced the launch of ANU Design, a program that will provide undergraduate and postgraduate research degrees on industry-grade design from 2017. The program is spearheaded by Dr Geoff Hinchcliff and Associate Professor Mitchell Whitelaw, both experienced academics and professionals in contemporary design and art theory.

The program aims to equip students with skills to flourish in the design industry, combining digital practices, handiwork, and contemporary design theory to the benefit of the student, according to the School of Art announcement. It also boasts of its flexibility, allowing students to tailor their degree to their particular interests in design.

Woroni contacted Dr Hinchcliff, who proved eager for the introduction of the new program and was incredibly pleased with its launch.

“A big inspiration for the new ANU Design program was the changing state of design practice. Put simply; design is rapidly changing to keep apace with contemporary society. To respond to the complex problems and immense opportunities, today’s designers need to be agile, adaptable, collaborative and able to traverse traditional disciplinary boundaries,” he said.

“Established approaches to design education aren’t adequately addressing this new direction and so there was real opportunity to build a program fit for the contemporary context.”

Hinchcliff also recognised the importance of data and digital media to contemporary design, and hoped to greater integrate these fields with the “physical world” through the program. He also commented on the need for engaging people, whether they are colleagues, clients, or industry professionals.

“Ultimately these kinds of rich engagement are there to give students perspective on the work they complete, to allow them to understand first-hand the important role they can have in shaping our world.”

that it would remain relevant due to the importance of design in “all aspects of society” and predicted that in five years time, trans-disciplinary connections within the degree would be further developed.

“I am extremely happy with version 1.0 of the new program,” he said.

“There are definitely things we’ll be adding in time and changes we’ll make in response to student needs, but it is a fantastic start.”

Hinchcliff was optimistic for the program’s future, and noted that the curricula are subject to change according to readily address emerging design practices and opportunities. He felt

Barr at the Bar Mark Han Chief Minister Andrew Barr entered into election mode at the ANU Bar on Wednesday, prioritizing investment for transportation and health infrastructure as key tenets for the upcoming campaign.

With less than 80 days until the October 15 ACT Legislative Assembly vote, Chief Minister Barr’s appearance in front of a hundred mostly supportive attendees also warned against voting for the ‘far-right’ Liberal opposition led by Jeremy Hanson as an imperative to keep Canberra the most liveable city in the world.

“The most successful cities have progressive social policies,” Barr said, “They support all people to reach their full potential.”

Barr’s opening speech was heavy on his Government’s commitment to transportation, and the Chief Minister trumpeted the arrival of international flights next month from Wellington and Singapore as an ‘opportunity for Canberra and the greater region’, anticipating over $100 million in benefits annually from the

2000 international passengers arriving into Canberra weekly.

Chief of Staff before entering elected office.

Barr also promoted his Government’s approach to improve public transport within Canberra, especially the contentious City-to-Gungahlin light rail project. Speaking highly of the Melburnian transport system as a model to follow, the Chief Minister cited projected population pressures for Canberra as one of the main motivators of transportation investment.

Explaining the non-tender unsolicited proposals framework which the ACT Government uses to respond to private sector led proposals, Barr said, “The question for the government and policy framework is: Is this proposal unique?”

He was forced on the defensive when questioned by Woroni’s Alexander Joske about cronyism in his government, after the ACT Government considered accepting Grocon’s proposal for the redevelopment of Manuka Oval without a tender process earlier in the year.

Grocon at the time of the proposal used the services of Pierre Huetter, the spouse of ACT Labor Minister Meegan Fitzharris. Both Huetter and Fitzharris have close ties with Chief Minister Barr – Huetter was Barr’s advisor and a former Labor Right faction leader, while Fitzharris was Barr’s

If the government did not deem the proposal “unique” enough, they would inform the company how to conduct the proposal, lest the government put the tender back on the market. However, Barr did not expand on what defined a “unique” project.

Jockeyed by Joske, the Chief Minister then vehemently denied the accusations of cronyism levied against him, citing that the perception of a conflict of interest was avoided with Huetter leaving his job and Fitzharris’ not being part of the decision-making process of the Grocon proposal.

Barr, who spoke of Labor’s progressive broad-based land tax earlier as a “simple and most efficient, stable and

predictable way to increase revenue”, was also asked about his commitment to affordable housing while using land taxes, which increase as land valuation increases, to supplement the ACT budget which is currently in deficit.

He reaffirmed his commitment to affordable student housing in the ACT and for the ANU as well, citing the Labor Party’s support for the National Rental Affordability Scheme which facilitated the development of the UniLodges at ANU. This was discontinued during Abbott’s time as Prime Minister.

Barr also asserted that 20% of dwellings of any new development that is built will be affordable housing for private rent or private sale in one of the biggest public housing renewal projects in Canberra’s history. However, he did not mention the fate of Fenner Hall in his reply.

COMMENT

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

Bored? Stressed? At a loss for intellectual stimulation? Well, looks like you need to take a look at a book, my friend. Whether you’re a literary prodigy or a novice at novels, stop by my column to see what to read and what to skip over. Keep on squirming, bookworms!

Respect my Author-ity Alexandra Elgue The Belly of Paris

by Emile Zola

The Life of Pi

by Yann Martel

There is something mildly daunting about embarking upon a translation, particularly one written by a master of his mother tongue like Zola. Nonetheless, the journey into the minefield of English-French translation is more than worth the trip when it comes to this absorbing novel, which perfectly encapsulates the atmosphere of eighteenth century Paris.

Like myself, you might have been one of the many who saw the Oscar-winning film about a boy and his feline friend. Again, like yours truly, you might have been seduced by the extraordinary visual effects and the exotic sensuality of the cinematic story. If so, you may be following in my footsteps, being tempted to turn to the book for another hit of aesthetic triumph.

Telling the story of an escaped convict seeking refuge with his brother, the story breaks off to explore what it was to live amongst the working class of France. A mainly sensory novel, it delves into the details of those who lived amongst the market place, drawing the reader into their tangled web of social politics. It is an impressive novel even solely based on its sheer scope - despite the large number of characters, each is as three dimensional as the people I find myself seated next to in lectures.

If you’re a nerd for stirring food imagery, trust me - your hunger will be satiated. The decadence of chocolate, the sinew of meat, the pungency of thick, gooey cheese on chewy brown bread… It’s so well described that you’ll find yourself needing a snack while you read.

With a gripping story, memorable characters, and an exquisite verbal style, this book manages to feed your soul while you feed your grumbling tummy.

I have one word for you. Don’t.

Don’t get me wrong. The adventure of a boy’s Indian childhood, followed by his exile on a lifeboat with the sole company of a Bengali tiger is certainly worthy of the accolades it has received. My point is simply that while the story may have made for a pleasant film, it was far from a pleasant book. Rife with graphic imagery of starvation, physical degradation, brutality, and viscera, the narrative is anything but a light holiday read.

That being said, the novel should not be discredited as anything less than a triumph of fiction. It explores complex themes of religion and human nature, and although it is not “fun” to read, it remains an important spiritual text. Just perhaps try to avoid reading it before dinnertime - you may lose your appetite.

‘Life of Pi’ is not recommended for those experiencing eating disorders or suicidal ideation. If you are struggling with thoughts of self harm, please call lifeline on 131114.

On Experience & Policies James HaynE

In my first week of university, a third year walked up to me and said ‘you’ll go into stupol one day’. Being an ignorant first year, I thought student politics was my calling from that moment on. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

From Week 10 of Semester 1 to Week 1 of Semester 2, I was approached numerous times by representatives from two major tickets. I knew a lot of people on both tickets and many were close friends. They were and still are people I respect and look up to – they collectively do a lot of great work around ANU. I felt obligated to hear them out and pretend to look interested while they told me things about the other ticket that I knew was plain wrong. I was contacted over Facebook, over the phone and in person every second day. I was part of a seemingly endless cycle of electioneering.

For me, the people I was approached by were, and still are, hard to work out. They don’t fit into the resume building stereotype. Many of these student politicians are simple overachievers who want to make a difference. They live purely on adrenaline and are prone to burn out on a weekly basis. In short, their lives are a cycle of extreme highs and lows.

Having observed these people from a distance, I still thought student politics was for me. To be blunt, I live like a student politician now. I run at full speed every day and don’t stop unless I’m dead sick in bed.

However, my gut told me not to run.

Stories of the Ready debacle last year still shock me. The lies, deceit and backstabbing behind the scenes this year was appalling. Factional lines within tickets often changed hourly depending on what people thought was best. It was like a parody in real life.

So, I decided not to run. I said no, not because I wasn’t ready to create change - I said no, because I don’t think I can actively create that change. The sort of people who should actually run for ANUSA

shouldn’t just be passionate about making change – they need actual experience, and practical policies to bring into effect. As Amplify ANUSA states on their website, ‘every year, ANUSA tickets campaign on a platform of inclusivity and accountability’. ANUSA elections have become a predictable cycle of words, not pragmatism. This is dangerous for every student at ANU and every major ticket is at fault.

I am not criticizing the work of Ben Gill or his executive. Bringing in some tangible reform, they have been a somewhat refreshing change to previous ANUSA teams. However, there is much more to be done.

All serious contenders for ANUSA need to start thinking outside the square. The upcoming election cycle cannot and should not be about catchphrases and empty promises.

All tickets need to propose concrete changes that can actually be implemented. There is no longer a time or place for policies which ‘promote’, ‘advocate’ or ‘protest’ unless they are done in conjunction with practical reform. We have seen the failures of protest and advocacy in the cuts to CHL and the lowering of the HECS threshold. On issues such as mental health and support for low SES students, the undergraduate body demands tangible policies on issues which they can engage with and benefit from in the short term.

We can all agree, as all of the major tickets agree, that ANUSA needs to change. ANUSA can no longer live in its bubble above Union Court.

That means breaking a cycle of what has “worked” previously. Tickets win by having platforms of accountability and inclusivity. However, these loosely defined sort of tickets aren’t good for the future of ANUSA. The future of ANUSA needs to start now with real, new, and concrete change. I’m not the person to do that – they need someone with experience. Perhaps those running for ANUSA this year should consider that.

Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

11

COMMENT

You think that’s a MediScare? THIS is a MediScare!

Kate Stewart

Kate Stewart has been rescued from the Australian Public Service and is now undertaking a Bachelors degree in Visual Arts; which is about as different from her previous job as you can get.

Kate enjoys welding in her pink steel-capped boots and entertains notions of being an artist.

Towards the end of first semester, Kate became the Country Labor Candidate for the Federal Division of Parkes and attracted a 6% primary vote swing, encouraged a 1.5ish% swing against the informal vote, and as the ABC put it, “won all of the far west booths” (among others) before spending the last two weeks of the uni holidays asleep.

All this talk about Labor’s MediScare seems a little odd to me.

Notwithstanding that if you have no intention of privatising a government service, you probably shouldn’t conduct a study into privatising that service, and also setting aside the likelihood of the National Party, in election mode, telling the truth (Gonski anyone?).

Privatisation wasn’t the Medicare issue we talked about in the electorate of Parkes - which is about half of New South Wales, including most of the parts of New South Wales that New South Wales and the National Party Members of Parliament actively forgets after year four… until agricultural trade figures are reported.

Residents in Parkes receive an average income of approximately $49,000 per year, and I suspect this number is skewed upward by some extremely lucrative cotton farms. Many residents in Parkes are aged pensioners and many others are receiving other forms of income support. I now turn to their stories.

I was chatting with an older bloke in a Narromine pub who elucidated the following story: he had attended Dubbo Base (a public) Hospital to see a specialist. This specialist told him to have a blood test at Pathology. For

the privilege of spending two minutes with a needle stuck in his arm he, with his Medicare and Pension Cards, was charged $90.

A woman in Broken Hill had been to a radiology clinic to have a scan she had had performed several times previously… for free. In the week before the election, she attended the clinic to have that same scan… she was charged $200.

My first thought was a genuine question about whether they sacrificed food or rent to pay for those tests?

My second thought was how can Messrs Joyce and Turnbull conscionably force Aged Pensioners, after paying the Medicare Levy and other taxes throughout their lives, to subsidise tax cuts for Point Piper and Toorak?

Reflecting on these questions causes me some concern.

With regard to the first, am I left wondering whether, after Pension freezes and reductions, significant superannuation changes and removing the benefit of the two most valuable items pensioners possess (the Pension Card and the Medicare Card), will we be returning to aged Pensioners eating cat food?

With regard to the second question, I wonder why the National Party assume that people are stupid enough to not recognise that they’ve already paid for Medicare. In essence, after having paid tax for their working lives, the National Party think that it’s okay to shift the wealth of the older generation to a younger generation?

All of which leads me to wonder whether the National and Liberal Parties are trying to either create class warfare setting generations against each other; setting locales against each other; setting workers against the aged…

Or are the National and Liberal Parties trying to manufacture a class war with Medicare?

All of this worries me. I have said before, and will continue to maintain that Medicare is not only the single most important element of our egalitarian democracy. It is by far and away the single most important productivity measure implemented by any government in our history.

Medicare might benefit you and I, Medicare might benefit aged Pensioners and children, but the most sizable benefits from Medicare, in its originally conceived and expanded upon form, is to shareholders and management.

What I mean by that is that Medicare might help families be healthy and well… but Medicare also delivers the private, not-for-profit and government sectors a fit and healthy

workforce, which, in large part, that workforce actually paid for.

In other words, Messrs Joyce and Turnbull, by killing Medicare for the benefit of Point Piper and Toorak, will not only be killing Medicare for aged Pensioners, children and families they will be increasing absences from work leading to decreased overall productivity.

Tell me, given that we’re already being charged for what we’ve already paid for, to allow investment bankers and shareholders a decrease in tax rate, was Labor running a MediScare campaign? Or did the Nationals and the Liberals orchestrate the most frightening of MediScares prior to proroguing the Parliament?

COMMENT

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

On Selecting the Presidential Candidates Raqeeb Bhuyan I’m a stupol hack. For most of this year, I didn’t feel like a stupol hack, but when I found myself asking if people were interested in running for ANUSA President, I came to a realisation that I had become one. Yes it’s unusual for someone to be asked if they’ve thought about running for President, rather than making the decision for themselves. There’s a vacuum of people who are actually interested in the role, and I’d like to explore the reasons why people decide not to run, and how we could potentially encourage more to run.

What are we looking for? The ANUSA President is the undergraduate representative on University Council, meaning that they should be a strong negotiator. They are akin to the ‘CEO’ - a role where they manage the staff employed by ANUSA and its representatives, so good leadership dynamics and “people skills” are of the utmost importance. Moreover,

they are largely responsible for the strategic direction of the Association.

It is also a full-time job, working close to 38-50 hours per week.

There are the personal factors to take into account: we can examine various forms of privilege. Certainly, having an inflated (and in some cases overinflated) male ego is a pretty good way of finding the motivation to run. There’s decent history of ANUSA tickets applying affirmative action in selecting their candidates in general, but it is not always the case that a non-cis male has the opportunity to run as the ticket’s presidential candidate. The last female-identifying president of ANUSA was in 2013, and we haven’t had many female-identifying presidential candidates since.

Whilst December 1st to November 31st the following year is the formal term of office, ANUSA president is in reality a year-and-a-half long com-

mitment. Elections occur in August, and soon after, in September, SSAF negotiations begin. Having the financial resources and spare time for this August to December period rules out a number of people. This means that you’ll often find someone who has come out of a demanding role and needs to be open to jumping straight into another. Sometimes, people just have better things to do with their time.

In looking for reliable places for students to gain experience on-campus, one would first search within the Association. The ANUSA executive are well-placed to step into the role, or alternately, Department Officer roles are demanding and allow one to prove that they can set a strategic vision. College Representatives certainly have the advocacy and negotiation experience with the University, but as a pool of 12 people, they currently don’t receive as much structur-

al support from the organisation as they should. By design, the duties of General Representatives are left undefined, which tends to mean that it’s an unreliable avenue for skill development.

If one was to look outside of the Association, we could point at the vibrant Clubs and Society culture at the ANU, but few of these organisations operate committees of a similar size, objective, or budget of ANUSA. Variety in our clubs is not a bad thing - but you wouldn’t necessarily expect the President of the ANU Lettuce Society to become the next President of ANUSA. It’s difficult to guarantee that all C&S executives have been given the opportunities both to think about and receive training in main

On the Departments & Their Work Jade McKenna For new students, coming into a university whose student association openly recognises the barriers to education, work, and society faced by minorities, sets immediate expectations of what kind of behaviour is supported by their fellow ANU students.

This is exactly what occurs from the implementation and continuation of the ANUSA Departments.

In my role as Queer* Officer in 2016 (and involvement in the Queer* and Women’s Departments since 2013), I have seen first-hand how professional organisations within Canberra and the University respond to someone with a voice supported by the backing of a million dollar organisation. If the challenges minority students face are institutionally recognised, advocacy holds much more power - the ANU is more likely to listen to an elected representative, chosen to advocate for a group of students, than to a group

of students without the financial and administrative backing of ANUSA. As the former ANUSA Queer* Officer, I have had students approach me about coming out to their friends and lecturers about their gender identity or sexuality. I have had an overwhelming number of enquiries from students who were concerned that they would be laughed at or ostracised, and have been able to assure them that there were explicit services in place for them to receive help, and that there was a sense of community from other queer* students, and general support from the ANU student body. That experience was one of the most rewarding I have had in my time at the ANU. It was a privilege to be able to tell a new student questioning their gender identity that the Queer* Department existed to advocate for their rights and had a dedicated space for queer* students, which they could

then use to experiment with their gender expression and pronouns in a non-judgmental, safe space. This was expressly made possible by the existence of ANUSA and its Departments.

As a queer woman who manages a mental illness, I am no stranger to barriers, but they have been relatively infrequent in my life at the ANU. I do not believe this would be the case if we did not have dedicated Departments to advocate for the parts of my identity that are not overwhelmingly accepted by society. The fellow students I have encountered that do not see the merit in Departments, have ironically been the ones who have implied that the sex I’ve had with other women hasn’t been ‘real’, told me I ‘don’t look like a lesbian’, or questioned my capabilities, both academically and professionally, due to my gender.

I am not implying that critiquing Departments means you are discriminatory. But it is my belief, formed through years involved in Departments, professional work at ANU, and the sometimes negative life experiences of a queer woman, that if you believe the challenges minority students face is not enough to warrant financial and organisational support, you probably don’t understand the advocacy work Departments do, and have likely had the privilege of walking down the street without questioning whether it’s safe to hold hands with your partner. I am happy for you - but perhaps you should support the creation of happiness for your fellow students who take their partner’s hands only to find bigotry and slurs thrown their way.

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Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

COMMENT

Oxford Street mardi gras in 1986.

(Photograph from FAIRFAX ARCHIVE, Sydney Morning Herald)

A Fag’s Future Lawrence Rogers

Content Warning: Homophobia When I experienced my first confrontation with homophobia, I was in late middle school, sitting in my social sciences class with a group of my peers.

A kid must have been frustrated with me for some reason, and in all honesty, I wouldn’t have been particularly surprised if I was being annoying. He sat across from me, and I asked him: “Can I borrow one of your pens?”.

“No, faggot” was the response.

I was shocked, and instantly angered - even though I was young, and much less confident at that time, I still confronted him about it and asked why he had called me a faggot. “Because you are one”. This response was something my younger self couldn’t really understand. Sure, I was gay, but why does he think I am a faggot? It didn’t make sense to me. I told my teacher about the incident, and 10 minutes later I was out of the classroom listening to his schoolyard apology and that was that.

Surprisingly, that was the first and only time I have experienced targeted homophobia or bigotry. I have had a pleasant, though somewhat unexpected, overall experience as a young

gay person. When I was 12 years old, I came out to my family and friends.

I am now 17, and have yet to be confronted again with the homophobic pejoratives from my middle school years, or become the victim of the horrifying stories of abuse that a young gay person is ‘bound to face’.

This has left me feeling strangely disconnected from the history of a minority group of which I am inherently a part.

My parents have always been supportive of my sexuality. My schools were private, both with strict anti-bullying policies and strong anti-bullying cultures amongst the students. I have now begun my first year in university at ANU, surrounded by peers that I would generally classify as accepting of the LGBT community. Perhaps it is due to these circumstances that I have (luckily) not been confronted with the harshness of homophobia that many people my age, older, and younger do face. Nevertheless, I am part of a minority within my own minority. If I was to be self-deprecating about it, I might call myself part of the privileged minority - the “bourgeoisie of the gays”.

Consequently, with a lack of these negative experiences, I feel that I

am distanced from a part of the gay community - specifically, the part that has struggled to gain its freedoms and has faced torture, abandonment and rejection from society.

I am not Stonewall, or Harvey Milk, or any other LGBT rights icon. On a personal level, this is something for which I must be grateful. I am living in relative peace because of the fighting of my predecessors. I am safe now due to the fight against heteronormative dominance. However, my identity is, therefore, different to that of a gay person from barely decades before me. I have never had to hide my sexuality, but I have never needed to flaunt it. There is no political statement for me to make about my sexuality to my peers around me. I don’t see myself as someone who is struggling against anything because of my orientation. Rather, I see myself as just another person with the same struggles as those around me, generally unrelated to oppression or abuse because I am gay.

On a societal level, my experiences also bring into question the future of the “gay identity”. With the increasing likelihood of gay kids being raised like I was, comes a growing lack of any struggle attached to gay sexuality.

Mardi Gras in Sydney for people like

me will not be about rebelling against straight authority or proving a point to society. If every gay person was like me, being ‘gay’ would be very different from all of the history and culture attached to it. This is somewhat concerning. If the gay identity has lost its history and culture of struggle against heteronormativity, a large part of the fight has been lost. A unique identity, both in sexual and cultural terms has been created, and my easy upbringing poses a threat to that.

To assimilate perfectly into straight culture is not what gay movements fought for. Pride in deviance and rebellion were iconic parts of these movements, which could be lost if there is nothing to rebel against. The culture that has been created has value, and should be respected and preserved by the gay community. The few but growing number of people like me who live without real fear of bigotry must make an effort to learn about those people and movements who have made our lives possible. To ignore that, and allow gay culture to become a new edition of heteronormativity with a rainbow paintjob, is to insult the battlers who made this future possible in the first place.

COMMENT

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

Peace to the Gods: On Rap Music & Religion Shamim Mazari

Shamim Mazari is a PhD student at ANU. His research focuses on the anthropology of religion, and the intersection of religion, politics and law in the Muslim world. He holds a Masters in International Law and Politics from Canterbury University, and has worked in human rights and community development.

My first real introduction to religion wasn’t through my parents, through the church, or through the mosque.

It was through the Simpsons and hip-hop. When I was 14, I listened to Gang Starr’s Moment of Truth, in which one “Brother Elijah” quoted the Quran: “Hast thou seen him who belies religion? That is one who is rough to the orphan” (Q 107: 1-2).

What did that even mean? And what was this Quran? I had no idea, but I was intrigued. So I went to a bookstore and bought a copy of the Quran. Since then, my hip hop collection, and my interest in religion, have increased significantly. In this article I’m introducing my top three rappers who, for better or worse, have rhymed about religion.

double CD, and you’ll get all the education you need this year.” With these words, RZA dismissed the entire K-12 education system. As a 15-year-old “shorty”, I didn’t need much convincing; I emptied my piggy bank, purchased the Wu-Tang Forever double CD and hit the beach with a Sony Walkman. The music was amazing, the beats were on point, but the lyrics made little sense. God is a black man from Asia? And God is a Muslim?

What are they talking about? Listening now, as an adult, I think I have a (marginally) better appreciation for Wu-Tang’s unique fusion of Shaolin Kung Fu with Nation of Islam (NoI) ideology. “Leave all the cigarettes, guns and alcohol… That’s the mental devil that exists within your body.”

For Wu-Tang, metaphysical concepts (like the devil) became metaphors to explain the harsh realities of life in New York’s housing projects. “Heaven and hell exists within: heaven is what you make it and hell is what you go through.” Ultimately, however, Wu-Tang lost a potential convert in me at the point when they mocked evolutionary theory: “At one time it was told to me that man came from monkeys... I’m hardly going to believe that unless I’m deaf, dumb and blind.”

I’m sorry Wu, but denying evolution is just as bad as B.o.B’s Twitter rant that the Earth is flat.

3. Kendrick Lamar: Authenticity

2. Big L: Blasphemy

1. Wu-Tang is for the children “Yo Shorty, you don’t even gotta go to summer school. Pick up the Wu-Tang

piety: “I kill chumps for the cheapest price / I’m rolling with Satan, not Jesus Christ.” After Big L was murdered in 1999, his mum recalled the first time she heard him blaspheme on a mixtape: “I was like, ‘Oh Lord, Lamont, you gonna have every preacher in Harlem knocking down our door.’”

His demonic lyrics didn’t really represent who he was, she said. “He was as sweet as can be. I never had no trouble with Lamont. I never had no trouble with him in school. He was never into any drugs. He really was a good kid.” In gangster rap, there is no form of social suicide worse than your mum going on World Star Hip Hop to claim you’re actually a nice boy with no criminal record.

When it comes to rappers who combined senseless violence and hypermasculine braggadocio, nobody did it better than Lamont “Big L” Coleman (1974-1999). On occasion, he sent atheistic threats to enemies before lyrically robbing them: “I run with a thieving squad / and none of us believe in God.” At other times, he acknowledged God’s existence but preferred to live on the fringes of

Thanks to Kendrick Lamar, Wale and J. Cole, the most “authentic” rappers are no longer the most violent.

To be a real man, you don’t have to write “never snitched” and “no lacking” in bullet points on your résumé.

You don’t have to answer “bitch I might be” when a judge asks if you’re guilty. This authenticity has transferred to rappers who spit about their spirituality, too. Kendrick puts an emphasis on honesty - that it’s okay to be inconsistent, that belief doesn’t always align with the realities of the world: “I’m a loser, I’m a winner, I’m good, I’m bad, I’m a Christian, I’m a sinner... What I’m saying is that I’m human.” Perhaps the phrase “Kush and Corinthians” best sums up this attitude; being halfway between sin and piety, smoking weed while reading the Bible. But unlike Wu-Tang,

Kendrick’s religion isn’t a solution to the social ills in the black community. Instead, it’s a personal way to make sense of the violence and suffering around him. “I opened my Bible in search to be a better Christian / and this from a person that never believed in religion.” He often sits at the crossroad of atheism and belief.

Ultimately, though, he chooses the latter: “I’d rather live like there is a God, than die finding out that there isn’t.” Pascal’s Wager has its problems, I agree, but you don’t need to be a philosophy major to appreciate Kendrick’s honesty.

The question, I guess, is what lies beneath each of these approaches to religion. What unites them? If their personal belief is fragile at best, why would they talk about God at all? It’s no coincidence that each of these rappers comes from some of the worst neighborhoods in America: Wu-Tang from the projects of Staten Island and Brooklyn, Big L from Harlem and Kendrick from Compton. They come from communities where life is often unpredictable, and where there are two or three churches on every block. Compare this with safer and wealthier communities, where life is very predictable and churches are fewer. There is a negative correlation between existential security and religion, but that’s a subject for another article. Suffice it now to say, that wherever you find violence and poverty, you’ll find churches and mosques. And local rappers will be there to put religion into rhyme.

Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

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OMTERMATOPMA:

Indian Female Writers through History Chandrima is a Physics student at ANU, undertaking research in nuclear reaction dynamics. Her column recounts true and inspiring stories of Indian women - from the early medieval ages to modernity - who secured their position in society and combated all odds to shape the future.

A Phoenix is Never Slain Chandrima Sengupta

What a lovely place it was! Blue sky stretched from one end of my village to another. Dense, lush green trees, serene flowing rivers and chirping birds - it was my beloved Bangla (undivided Bengal, India). Here is where I used to play inside my small house. I would look at the open sky through a little hole in the wall of my room, wondering how this picturesque village had been created, why the river beside my house flowed and why the sky was full of colours?

My one and only wish was to go outside my house and know the outer world, to touch the trees, to feel the streaming river and to understand the essence of everything around me. In truth, I knew that I could not move a step outside. Like all other girls of my time, I had to learn to serve meals for my family members. I was to bow down to all males in my family and only to eat some food when the males had finished their meals. But I was pretty happy with this lifestyle – or at least, I had to be.

By the way, I am Khana, a Bengali girl of the ninth century AD. I realized back then, one fateful

day, that I could compose poems on my own. This astonished me, though I lacked the courage to confess to the crime of doing anything outside of housework.

Another fateful day, I received the distressing news that I had to get married. Eight years old! I could not have thought of it, but my thoughts did not seem to matter to anyone. Anyway, I was wedded to Prithuyasas, whose father Varahamihira was a jewel of Chandragupta II Vikramaditya’s (Emperor of Gupta dynasty), famed ‘Navaratna Sabha’ (nine gems of the King’s court) and a famous astrologer of that time.

This marriage opened up a new window to me. I always tried to listen to their discussions from my kitchen while I cooked. In this way, I started to learn astrology, making predictions about events that turned out absolutely correct.

I felt the urge to pursue my interest secretly. I was pretty confident about my ideas and forecasts, and began to jot them in verse form, using skills I had already developed in my childhood days. The verses were mostly about agriculture and different aspects of social life. To even my own surprise,

they all proved true, and as they spread among the people, they began to favour them for their memorable verse form. The villagers stopped visiting my husband and father-in-law for predictions. As I was the first female Bengali poet and astrologer, the King and his courtiers expressed their willingness to meet me at Raj-Darbar (King’s court).

This was really a tough time for me. My husband, my father-in-law and all the villagers were grieved, disappointed and mortified that a woman would recite her poems and verses to the public. It challenged the climate of masculine domination of that time. My husband reminded me that I, being a woman, should always stay behind the curtains rather than compete with the fellow astrologers. I responded, “Dear Husband, you are God to me and whatever you say I will do it willingly. But first, you learn Astrology from me”.

I could no longer ingratiate myself with them, or be at the beck and call of their commands. They began to jest with me, attempting to prove me wrong, and failing,

when my predictions proved true to all extents.

Finally, Varahamihira commanded to cut off my tongue. It was unbelievable that a wise person like him could be involved in such inhumanity, just to latch onto his throne and occupy his seat in ‘Navaratna Sabha’. What I truly could not process was that the dearest person in my life, my husband, would be the man to cut off my tongue. I bled to death, stuttering and stammering my verses.

On that final fateful day, I realized that a woman has no country, no family and no person to support her - but I had my soul, and that was strong enough to combat all odds. Even today, my verses resonate in the houses, trees, hills and rivers of Bangla.

I, like the Phoenix, take birth from the ashes of my predecessor.

In this world I speak for equal and deserved rights, for protest against persecution, agony, affliction and laceration. It is you who still cannot identify me.

International

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

(Inter)National Nitpickery Curious about world news, events or the occasional Australian political blunder? Every edition, we’ll be deconstructing politics and topical events from the outside world, poking the shitty bits with a nice long stick and commenting on its tangy smell. Perhaps we’ll find a nugget of golden wisdom lurking within?

Chickening out of a Coup?

Adrian Hindes

he disbanded his Islamist political party and founded the AKP - a supposedly mainstream conservative-liberal party. The AKP have held majority government in Turkey since 2002, and according to many Turkish citizens, slowly but steadily regressed back towards an authoritarian wannabe-Islamist regime. Some notable indications of this regression include; Erdogan’s boisterous disapproval of equal rights for women, open support of Islamist rebels in the Syrian civil war and the alleged funding of ISIS, systematic control of the Turkish media, and frequent overuse of police forces against public protests... But that’s just barely scratching the surface.

Those of you Stalkerspace-ers who love House of Cards are gonna be all over this one; but even if you aren’t you should tune in because shit just went down down in Turkey. Seriously, Trump’s got nothing on the president (cough) dictator (cough) Erdogan.

So first, let’s get everyone up to speed on who this Erdogan guy is. Erdogan first came to power in the 90s as Mayor of Istanbul, but served a bit of prison time for reciting an Islamist poem at a rally in 99’. In the early 2000s,

Just a week ago, the country finally reached breaking point, and the Turkish Armed Forces (TSK) attempted a coup d’etat to remove Erdogan from power. Over the course of around 24 hours, parts of the TSK mobilized ground, air and navy forces to take Turkish parliament… and miserably failed. Without larger support from the public and military, anti-government forces were quickly forced to surrender. During the coup, however, Erdogan ordered Turkish citizens to go out into the streets fight the rebelling soldiers, resulting in over 265 civilian casualties and leaving over 1.5k+ injured. The following day, Erdogan had thousands of soldiers, over 2700 judges and many more public officials arrested, and directed the blame for the coup onto his primary political rival, Fetullah

Gulen, who has been “chilling” (read: self-imposed political exile) over in the US. At face value, the coup may appear to simply be a result of long term civil unrest. Considering the circumstances surrounding the coup, however, it begins to look mighty suspicious. Since the failed coup, over 50,000 state employees in total have been sacked or suspended - so with the overwhelming majority of anti-government military and public officials now in custody, Erdogan’s government seems to have come out of the whole mess quite a lot better for it.

Can we also take a moment to appreciate that Erdogan himself was ever so conveniently on holiday outside the country before it all started? Note that coups normally succeed by taking the country’s leader hostage nigh-on-immediately, which explicitly wasn’t possible in this instance. Excuse me while I go fetch my tin-foil hat.

This isn’t, however, a far flung conspiracy. In light of extremely recent political moves by Erdogan, many are now beginning to fear that the whole coup was indeed staged by him to weed out his enemies. It certainly makes sense, since now Erdogan is in a significantly more powerful position that will enable to fully transform Turkey from a democracy into an authoritarian theocracy. By declaring a national state of emergency, Turkish government is now moving forward with “temporarily” suspending the European Con-

vention for Human Rights. Take a moment to reread that sentence.

Yeah - Turkey is temporarily suspending human rights. Furthermore, recent changes to Turkish parliament allows Erdogan to pass bills without majority support during a national emergency; so these two factors combined would essentially allow him to do whatever the hell he wants for the next 3 months, which happens to include implementing fully-fledged Sharia law, and bringing back the death penalty. Oh, and look at all these state prisoners they have!

With all these actions pointing towards, at the very least, an extremely exploited situation by Erdogan to purge his detractors, NATO is now strongly considering expelling Turkey from the alliance. By comparison, North Korea is looking kind of pleasant nowadays.

With all these facts in mind, it’s almost certain that Turkey did not just chicken out of a coup; but rather the whole ordeal was a well-orchestrated political move

by Erdogan and Co, solely for the purpose of taking out the trash and giving him even more power than he already had. Watch Turkey closely, friends, because we have a Hitler-wannabe behind the reins.

INTERNATIONAL

Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

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TURKEY: thoughts from the ground On a cool night in Ankara - the 15th of July 2016 - the fate of a Middle-Eastern democracy hung in the balance of an attempted coup d’etat. Below are three reflections, written by writers who watched the turmoil from within.

Khawaja Hamza Ahmed The sonic booms caused by low flying F-16 fighter jets shattered the windows of my house in Istanbul.

Gunfire echoed the sound of the call to prayer being rung out on loudspeakers by mosques throughout the city, as the whole country awaited news in fear.

Sometime earlier, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, spoke on television via FaceTime, urging his supporters to take on the tanks and soldiers to protect the nation and its democracy. In no time, AKP supporters were out on the streets of Istanbul and other Turkish cities, chanting anti-military and pro-government slogans, preventing tanks from moving and beating up soldiers - literally. By dawn, it was certain that the coup attempt had failed, but the night of July 15 would be remembered as one of the darkest in recent Turkish history, as over 200 civilians, police officers and soldiers lost their lives.

A couple of nights later, as I drove on the Bosphorus Road around midnight in the European district of Sariyer, I witnessed celebrations that could only ever be matched by Turkey winning the FIFA World Cup. The celebrations were even more grandiose in Taksim Square, where enormous screens and microphones had been set up and thousands of men, women and children waved large Turkish flags and chanted slogans. While AKP supporters would be relieved that the military’s attempt to seize control of the country failed, the deaths of some 200 people should be met with sorrow, not joy. Despite the coup having failed, the events following July 15 have caused a further divide between Islamists and secularists in an already polarized Turkish society. The coup backfired heavily, as it only gave Erdogan more legitimacy and power to remove sup-

porters of Muslim cleric Fethullah Gulen. Blamed to be behind the coup, Gulen lives in self-imposed exile in the United States, and public institutions identify him as the man who sparked the state of emergency in Turkey.

A “democracy” which has now allowed the cancellation of 21,000 schoolteachers’ licences? Forced the resignation of 1,577 university deans and the dismissal of 15,000 employees of the education ministry? And some-

Anti-coup celebrations in Taksim Square – July 19, 2016 (photo taken by Khawaja Hamza Ahmed)

Seval Ulus One must ask the apparent question: how could any military personnel or group go ahead with the plan of seizing parts of two cities - Istanbul’s busiest bridge in peak hour traffic, an airport and a TV station - in hope that it would eventuate into a successful coup? In Turkey’s history, successful coups have been launched after midnight, key government officials (including the president) have been taken as hostages and citizens have awoken to learn of the establishment of Martial Law. It is unusual that the soldiers who occupied Atatürk Airport allowed Erdogan to land, and then conduct a press conference where he ‘heroically’ condemned the military.

Why didn’t they take Erdogan hostage when he came to their doorstep?

Erdogan also urged civilians to flood the streets to “take back democracy”.

To this I ask, “what democracy?”

how identified them all at the speed of light? Just as Hitler had yelled “Reichstag Fire!” in 1933, so too now does Erdogan yell “Gülenist Coup!” in 2016.

It seems that Erdogan has used this “coup” to further establish his power, change the Turkish Constitution and transform Turkey’s parliamentary system into an executive presidential system of governance.

Everyone that I spoke to in Istanbul while I was there, both before and after the coup, spoke in fear. The word “dictator” and “injustice” is thrown around softly while religious zealots supportive of Erdogan mindlessly scream “God is Great”.

The past 60 years of Turkey’s history has witnessed four successful military interventions aimed at restoring a Kemalist rule over the country. Similar to the current Turkish President’s dictator-like approach, previous ruling parties have abused their legislative power to reform the educational system and

the internal management of Turkey to suit Islamic beliefs, and have often met their end at military gunpoint. Unlike previous governments, however, current Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan seems to have avoided the attempted coup.

Jason Walker This coup attempt is just one event in a series of worrying developments moving Turkey further and further away from Europe and America, down a path towards a more unstable future. Now more than ever, the choices that Turkey (or more specifically, Erdogan) makes, will have an effect on the geopolitical situation in the Middle East and Europe. From within the country, seeing the coup play out first hand was a dramatic development – and on live television no less. In the aftermath, counting the thousands of people arrested is worrying (whether or not they were truly were planners), as is counting the schools, charities, medical institutions and universities that are now closed. Even with this troubling state of emergency, the cause and effect are not limited to the domestic

sphere.

Indeed, the coup comes in the wake of Turkey’s downhill spiral in stability, which has partly come about due to international factors. Recent bombings claimed by ISIL have brought the conflict in Iraq and Syria to Turkey, at a time when Europe is also dealing with the social effects of terrorism and unrestricted migration. Relations with Russia will also be affected by these changes, while questions loom over Syria, as well as the future of Russia’s close neighbours, NATO and the EU. Indeed, US relations have already been affected due to Erdogan’s pursuit of Fethullah Gulen, who has been blamed for the coup but is out of reach – in America. Conspiracy theories that this is a deliberate plot to move towards a dictatorship are probably false, but nevertheless, this is one event in a growing list that paints a much darker picture for the future.

INTERNATIONAL

Issue 9, Vol. 66

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Ethics in Global Fashion Emma is a Law & International Relations student, and aspiring diplomat with a passion for journalism. This Semester she will be challenging the everyday choices we make, and the origins of the very clothes on our backs, as she explores a range of ethical concerns relating to global fashion.

Equals.

Emma Wiggins

Our parents raise us as children under our family’s values. Then, we reach school age. We go out into the world and learn to evaluate, challenge and affirm these values. Society encourages us to learn to get along with others who have values different from our own. I distinctly remember sitting cross-legged in my Year One classroom, staring up at my teacher.

Behind her on the whiteboard was the longest word my six-year-old self had seen. “Cooperation”. It’s important. By cooperating we acknowledge that others are our equals, and in doing this – on even the most basic of levels – we respect each other. I would like to think that every child enters society and finds, like I did, that they were respected for who they are. Sadly, this is not the case.

The issue of how much we should respect the choice of Muslim women and girls to wear the burqa, niqab and/or hijab has been brewing for some time. Recent statements about the relationship between terrorist acts and the Islamic faith by Pauline Hanson and Sonia Kruger, along with Islamic State-claimed attacks in Nice, have again brought this issue to the forefront of global discussion.

In 2009, French President Nicolas Sarkozy branded the burqa a “sign of subservience” and the women who wore it “prisoners…cut off from any social life, deprived of all identity”. Under the justification that the burqa discriminates against women, such countries as France, Russia, The Netherlands and Italy, have partially or fully banned the burqa.

Being able to follow any religion of your choosing, however, is a fundamental human right. It is the right to autonomy, and this is spelt out in the United Nations Declaration of Human Rights. Yes, lack of gender

equality has plagued humanity since the beginning of time and it is important that we work to reverse it.

But banning the burqa is not the way to this.

Empowering women to embrace their right to autonomy, while encouraging society to respect it, is the way to promote gender equality. Not by banning the burqa. Many women view the burqa as a symbol of empowerment - if society cannot see their physical appearance, they can only judge them by personality and intelligence.

Women have the right to choose to wear the burqa and make any other choice about how they want to live their lives.

Moreover, it is clear that the justification of “ban the burqa for gender equality” is by no means the sole reason for this action. If gender equality was really something so high on the government’s priorities, they would have targeted the 16.2% gender pay gap (Europe) before they banned the burqa. They clearly have another motive for this decision. This motive is fear.

It has been established that Islam is a religion which (in the Quran) promotes peace. Yet, many people still fear women wearing burqas.

Being unable to read their identity, they assume they’re deliberately hiding it because they’re dangerous – a threat. In short, society fears that Muslim women wearing burqas are terrorists. Society’s solution? Ban the burqa.

Only, perhaps we should fear a society with a burqa ban, more than a society without one…

The act of terrorism is some people’s reaction to a “political process in which they have become disil-

lusioned”. Dr. Pete Lentini suggests these people feel that “[they have] no other choice” so they “decide to kill… to effect political change.”

Terrorism is created by individuals who are isolated by society. In joining a terrorist group, these individuals achieve a sense of belonging and self-worth. They believe they’re fighting for freedom in the only way they feel they can – through violence.

So really, the solution to terrorism is to create a global community where individuals feel they are valued and belong, and they value and respect others in return. It’s cooperation.

The burqa ban only works to enhance people’s sense of isolation within society. For many, the burqa is a symbol of ded-

ication to their religion and its values of family, knowledge and leading a wholesome life. It’s symbolic of a way of life, which in banning, we clearly say we do not respect. This marginalizes people. One Muslim woman in the burqa-banned country of France describes the mental process she goes through to try and retain her sense of self-worth as “[preparing] for war every time [she steps] outside… [and] coming up against people who want to put a bullet in [her] head”.

She feels “excluded from the social sphere”. As Lenti reflects, disenfranchisement from society leads to terrorist groups. In banning the burqa, we have created a breeding ground for terrorism.

Muslim children going out into the world are watching their families being banned from expressing who they are. What happened to cooperation and respect? Respect is not “I will cooperate with you if you do what I say”.

Respect is, “I will cooperate with you because you are my equal, and together we can make the world a more diverse, more beautiful place”.

“Humanity is but a single brotherhood, so make peace with your [brothers]”. This quote is from the same religious book which advocates for Islam just some food for thought.

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Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

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Scarborough Howard is a third year PPE/Law Student with a passion for international affairs, politics and economics. He writes about all of these things in such profuse amounts normally, that he felt it best to channel into something constructive, like a Woroni column.

Unwavering Howard Maclean

tured party. Traditional Republican bugbears were only briefly mentioned, if at all; Obamacare got all two sentences at close to the hour mark, the Second Amendment half a paragraph a few minutes later, and of the 4,500 or so words that made up Trump’s speech, ‘Constitution’ only appeared once.

ism, mass tax cuts, anti-Illegal immigration with a general “tough on crime” position, and aggressive policies for confronting domestic and external terrorism.

What was most interesting about Trump’s acceptance speech wasn’t how much he deviated from the old course, but how little.

In some ways, the Donald Trump speaking at the close of the RNC convention was unrecognisable from the gaffe-prone amateur who entered the Republican primaries more than a year ago. The 70 minute-long speech was both well-written and well-delivered, and also kept faithfully to the script and utilised a teleprompter, two things that Mr Trump is hardly known for.

Despite the refinement in style, however, the substance and focus of the speech was quintessentially Trump, a summary of his campaign to date. It was a speech that reaffirmed Trump’s four essential pillars: anti-globalist protection-

All the normal Trumpisms were on display; from the slightly disconcerting praise for authoritarian governments (this time Egypt), to improbable claims of expertise.

“Nobody knows the system better than me, which is why I alone can fix it” - a claim that sits somewhat awkwardly with Trump’s apparent unawareness of how many articles the US constitution contains.

It was a speech heavy on diagnosis but light on treatment, one which (perhaps better than any before) embodied the national fear and insecurities that have driven the Trump campaign. It painted a bleak and violent image of an America in decline, with only Trump capable of saving it. It was a speech that offered promises and assurances of future success, with only the vaguest of ideas about how to get there.

This was not the speech of a nominee attempting to unite a frac-

Trump’s thanks to the Evangelical community, and an accompanying promise to appeal the Johnson Amendment (which forbids tax-exempt religious organisations from endorsing or opposing political candidates) stood out, because it was the only such gesture Trump made to the factions within the party that had once been opposed to him.

By and large, this was a Trump who was unapologetically trumpeting the same message that had won him the nomination.

And this is arguably more interesting, because while the convention is in some ways the pinnacle and sum of the primary process, it’s also its conclusion, and the beginning of the general election season proper.

Conventional wisdom dictates that Trump will, like every previous Presidential nominee, begin to tack towards the centre as the electorate changes from partisan enthusiasts to the general population - a process that should have begun as soon as he secured the presumptive nomination some months ago. The fact that beneath the polish, Trump has done no such thing, suggests one of two things: First of all, that Trump is both un-

willing to compromise (likely) and has a resolute, authentic belief in his current positions. Given the weathervane of Trump’s political allegiance and stances historically, this seems, mildly-put, unlikely.

The second possibility is that Trump believes that his current position and current rhetoric will be able to win the election with no, or at least little, moderation.

This is disconcertingly possible.

2016 has already reshaped Western politics by drawing battle lines between the winners and losers of globalisation in developed countries. Trump has entirely, explicitly and skilfully portrayed himself as a voice and champion for the “forgotten” working and middle class, who have fared worst over the past two-and-a-half decades economically - a particularly impressive feat for a plutocratic New York billionaire whose name is a byword for opulence.

In Britain, a very similar sentiment and demographic carried Brexit, a prospect that had been viewed as similarly improbable to a Trump presidency half a year before the fact.

If Clinton is to be President, then she will need to present an alternative to Trump’s narrative, and win not just the minds but the hearts of White Middle America.

So far, she has not.

INTERNATIONAL

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

The Armchair Expert by guy Exton As an Arts and IR student from Melbourne, my column offers a broad perspective on current International affairs. I’m in my first year, draw political cartoons and major in history. Living on campus and keen on politics, my column Armchair Expert hopes to keep you informed for when politics come up in conversation.

Putin’s War

Vladimir Putin’s annexation of the Crimean Peninsula is an attempt at reinstating Russia as an imperial player.

July 20th saw one of the bloodiest days of fighting between Russian-backed separatists and Ukrainian soldiers to date. With seven Ukrainian soldiers dead and fourteen wounded within a 24hour window, and Ukraine’s top military commander promising an “adequate response” for the attacks, the war is still well and truly being waged. And with Russia widely ignoring the 2015 brokered peace deal in Minsk and continuing to pour men and resources in support of the separatists to the East, the 26-month marathon conflict that has already claimed more than 10,000 lives is showing no sign of slowing down.

Details of Russian foreign policy are rarely clear, hidden somewhere behind the fog of war, general Kremlin corruption and bureaucracy. But the 2014 decision to annex the Crimean Peninsula is particularly baffling.

Putin’s claim that he ordered the invasion to protect Ukraine’s Russian population from Ukrainian nationalists is mostly fiction, considering he has shown little interest in self-determination for the peninsula for most of his 14 years in power. A reasonable case can be made that Putin was preventing NATO expansion and encirclement, yet little indicated a Ukrainian desire to join the alliance leading up to the invasion.

The case that he was protecting the strategic naval base in Sevastopol is believable – yet, with a mostly Russian population and 20,000 well-armed Russian troops in Crimea beforehand, a full blown invasion doesn’t quite seem necessary.

Such reasonable and transparent answers aren’t Putin’s style anyway, nor was the invasion particularly effective, if these truly were his objectives. Instead the ex-KGB man took a gamble at beefing up Russian prestige. A gamble that has strengthened the geopolitical position of Russia, proven that she

can defend her national interest and bear the cost of doing so.

Episodes of Putin’s imperial daydreaming aren’t hard to find. In his 2005 annual speech to the Russian legislature, he famously described the collapse of the Soviet Union a “major geopolitical disaster”; an ambiguous term that summarized the sentiment of many in and out of government.

But his speech went on in a tough, proud and Russian style. “Many thought, or seemed to think at the time, that our young democracy was not a continuation of Russian statehood, but its ultimate collapse. They were mistaken.” To Putin, whether Russia is named USSR or The Russian Federation is merely a formality.

As for the invasion itself, it certainly appears to have been orchestrated in advance, suggesting a wider, imperial plan of expansion. In the winter of 2013-2014, Vladimir Konstantinov, the chair of the Crimean parliament was making frequent visits to Moscow.

On one visit during a meeting with Russia’s top security official Nikolai Patrushev, Konstantinov informed the Russian secretary that Crimea would be ready to “go to Russia” if the now exUkrainian President Yanukovych was overthrown. In early 2014, a memo is believed to have circulated the Kremlin’s inner circle recommending the annexation of Crimea in the event of Yanukovych’s fall. The hungry bear merely waited for the right moment.

The annexation of Crimea has become a huge propaganda success, translating into genuine domestic support for Putin. For the first time since the end of the Cold War, Russia has gained, rather than given up, territory. The reason such a risky gamble holds support is the imperial mindset that Russia and her people still hold.

And none are more imperialistic than Putin himself.

INTERNATIONAL

Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

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Travel as Food for the Soul James Kitchin In 2013, I travelled from our sunsoaked, comfortable country to equally sun-soaked but not-so-comfortable Mexico, on the (literal) other side of the world. Aside not speaking a word of Spanish and being completely unprepared for hurricane season, it was the best decision of my life, and here’s why...

Having done the compulsory Contiki the year before, I was a somewhat worldly Australian teenager, but was not prepared for what Mexico had to offer. I went as a volunteer on a conservation project situated on the Western coast of the state of Colima, just outside of a small town called Tecomán. Together with between five and sixteen other volunteers from across the world, I spent two months reclaiming turtle eggs, surveying local bird life populations and caring for— wait for it—crocodiles. Typically, the other volunteers (none of whom were Australian) made me enter the enclosures if needed, usually invoking the

name Steve Irwin as justification. We worked during the early hours of the morning and the later hours of the day to avoid its hottest parts.

time of 3am. Each day was something new, and it was a valuable character-building experience to which nothing else has compared.

Our typical day started sometime around 6.30am or 7am, depending on the day. We would then work around either the campsite to construct the new bunkhouse, or the crocodile farm if it was a Wednesday. About 10.30am we would put down our tools and head into the town to buy things, have a coffee or contact our families. Then we would come back to the camp and have a lunch cooked for us by a local Mexican woman—Thursdays were definitely the best because we ate burritos! After a lazy afternoon, we would recommence work at about 5, at which point we took to the local lagoon to survey bird life or continue construction projects. During the night, two people were chosen to go out on the quadbikes with one of the workers and help to collect the turtle eggs—one at 11pm, and the other at the godawful

But without a doubt, the purest memories came from the end of the work day. It would be about eight in the evening and we would walk down to this bar in the middle of nowhere, nestled between the lagoon and the black sand beach. There, we would order Corona Familiars (1L bottles of Corona), tostadas con ensalada (small toasted tortillas with tomato, cilantro and red onion) and spin some great banter for a few hours. From our seats we had an absolutely breathtaking view of the sunset over the Pacific Ocean.

And here is where the beauty lies.

Every sensation ingrains itself in your memory. There is the absolute serenity of the landscape in front of you, the kaleidoscope of colours which is the sunset, the sounds of the ocean and lagoon birds washing over you and in-

termingling with the laughter of your companions. There is the stifling and somewhat suffocating humidity, the thirst-quenching taste of Corona as you take a sip and the crisp freshness of the cilantro as you snack on the ever-present tostadas.

Life is perfect in that moment because despite the fact that you’re tired, you’re homesick, and the country is an effective sauna 24/7, all of these experiences fundamentally change who you are.

For a moment, you become aware of these changes, and in this awareness the people surrounding you become more important to you than you ever imagined, and you see them drenched in gold.

But then one of the others asks you something and the moment is over.

You take another bite of those ever-present tostadas, another sip of the never-ending Corona, and smile to yourself as the sun sets and the night falls.

arts@ woroni. com.au

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Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

The Pursuit of Disappearing Jade Mckenna

I have always felt an overwhelming need to prove myself due to my gender. When I moved to a selective, allgirls school, I became truly aware of what being a young woman meant: academically, professionally and personally. This need to prove myself was only exacerbated when I found myself surrounded by young women from all over my city, from different nationalities and financial backgrounds, who held different values, all with one thing in common - the expectation that they would excel academically.

their lack of self-discipline - I took pleasure in how much I excelled in the pursuit of disappearing.

Anorexia nervosa was the one thing I thought I was good at. Ironically,

family, culture and religion. For me, meals represented my family and the cycle of my school day. It was so easy to ignore the failure I felt at school, the secret of my sexuality and my inability to cure my mother’s cancer,

By beginning to control your food and body in the rigorous pattern of an eating disorder, you do not worry about how your sexuality appears to others because the eating disorder has taken it from you. The deeper your hunger and the thinner you become, the less your body has the energy for desire.

You lose your period, hair and curves, gaining a layer of baby hair all over your skin. You are no longer an object of desire - you are not a woman anymore. You are childlike, one dimensional, unable to want sex or even care about it. Your achievements are limited to the number on the scales in the morning, and every night you dream about the one thing you care about - food. You are a smaller version of yourself, but this process comes from within you, rather than from society. Sometimes I find myself missing how easy having an eating disorder was - my illness destroyed opportunities, relationships and took years of authentic living from me, but with it I could ignore the complicated reality of being a queer woman.

Several times a year we would be told during assemblies about the ongoing assault that occurred on trams to and from school; men groping young women while they were in their school uniforms. Assemblies were dedicated to reminding us that we would be penalised if we didn’t wear our uniforms modestly, others instilling the ruthless pursuit of the highest possible ATAR in each and every student.

I had never overtly thought about what being a young woman meant for my sexuality. When I allowed myself to be aware that I had a sexuality and somehow this was linked to cat calls, uniforms and heightened awareness on trams - I became aware that part of my sexuality was wanting to be with other women. This moment marked the beginning of my hunger.

Hunger is something I think about every day, whether it is of my years of self-starvation, or of needing to pursue a better, cleaner version of myself. These two things have been so intertwined at different times of my life that they have sometimes been the same thing to me. The diet that started my path to anorexia was something I pursued to replace what I felt were failed pursuits in other parts of my life: primarily, having sexuality.

I saw this as so complicated and unclean because I wasn’t straight. Another was not being able to achieve the academic level that I felt everyone else around me could. Every day during my illness, I wrote about what I had achieved - how little I had eaten, how much I had exercised, how many kilograms I had lost. I wrote to myself; I am not smart, I am not pretty, I am not funny or kind or interesting - but I am so, so good at losing weight. In those letters I chastised my classmates for eating so much, for

er of a child - are critiqued and judged by anyone privy to them, on the basis of your gender. Your life is shaped around avoiding harassment, sexual, verbal or physical, and this inevitably means that you become a smaller version of yourself.

Controlling food is a method of escape. Eating disorders are present in men and women, but overwhelmingly more so in women. Some people argue that it’s due to the media’s dialogue on women’s bodies, a product of perfectionism or a narcissist trait.

I believe that it is an act of misguided rebellion against a society that seeks to control women’s sexuality. the illness that I thought set me apart from the 900 other young women at my school wasn’t just mine - I was just so consumed by my own hunger that I didn’t notice the rampant hunger around me. Eating disorders plagued countless other students at the time, and they plague 15% of women at some point during their lifetimes.

Living with an eating disorder, although you can’t stop eating completely, you can control every aspect of the food you do eat. Meals mark the cycle of our day. They can represent people’s relationships with their

when I was occupied with how I had planned my meals and executed the consumption of them - always methodically, controlled and contained.

As a woman, you cannot contain or control your own sexuality because everyone else is allowed to have a say in how you present it. Kissing another woman in public is an act that others feel the right to comment on, as they do when it comes to what a woman wears and how many people she sleeps with. In the same way, your achievements - whether they are a promotion at work or being the moth-

Artwork by Rachel Powell

FEATURES

Issue 9, Vol. 66

Ursula Hall Food PRESEnted as if it is not the slop it is

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Eyes for Food Emily Bull

As a uni student, one of the pleasures of family friends coming into town is going out for an indulgent meal. Treated to the banquet menu at Hotel Hotel’s Monster last weekend, I was intoxicated by a spread as beautiful as it was delicious. Think pulled lamb shoulder jewelled by pomegranate seeds and pistachios, with crispy-skinned mulloway dressed with delicate baby turnips and confit leeks. As our series of artfully directed share plates came to the table, my friend Steve shared a story about a thought-provoking culinary experience he had in Barcelona: an evening at Dans Le Noir.

Run entirely by blind waiters and waitresses, Dans Le Noir (French for ‘in the black’) plunges its diners into inky darkness. As a guest, you enter the same colourless world as the waitstaff. By stealing all sense of sight, the restaurant’s enveloping blackness heightens the other senses.

The fingers and the tongue become the key instruments of navigation and exploration.

The menu is kept a mystery.

Only a choice between vegetarian, meat lover or the chef’s surprise is allowed. The ingredients are only unveiled after the meal. Even the colour of the wine is withheld. Here, the diner is robbed of any ability to judge a book by its cover.

No critique can be wrapped up in preconceptions.

This idea of not being able to see what you were putting in your mouth sparked a lot of nervousness around our table.

‘I truly despise oysters’ one friend winced. Her eyebrows knitted even more fearfully upon the suggestion: ‘So what if you accidentally ate one and enjoyed it?’

Dining at Dans Le Noir, Steve tells us, is a hyper-sensual

experience. Encased in darkness, one instinctively reaches out with words. When you can’t see your friends’ lips to locate their voices, not only do you feel blind, but also deaf. The room is filled with

‘About Time’. In the ‘foodstagram’ generation, where photos from cafés and restaurants are shared more for their artful design than for their bold or daring flavours, Dans Le Noir is a reminder of the im-

the kitchen, some yet to be beheaded. Without pizzazz, our succulent poached chicken came on a bed of rice and beans. It was divine, a celebration of simple, fresh ingredients.

The conversation around the table reached the pivotal question: would we want to spend our time and money on a blind meal? Opinions ranged from unreserved enthusiasm to blunt disinterest.

Personally, whilst the disorientation intrigued and tempted me, I would only be inclined to dine there once. I enjoy the drama of the dish too much.

a cacophony of other people who are trying to settle their own discomfort. Disconnected from familiarity, you experience an intensely self-aware meal.

Obviously the novelty excites.

The restaurant has spawned a chain: there is the one in Barcelona, restaurants in both Paris and St. Petersburg ,and a fourth in London that featured in Richard Curtis’ film

portance of taste. Food is, after all, about flavour.

Thinking back across my most delicious meals, presentation rarely imprints my mind as strongly as taste. The best meal of my life was a chicken dish my family and I shared on a street corner in Malaysia.

We sat on milk crates, practically in the middle of the road.

Buckets of recently plucked chickens sat in the corner of

As our desserts arrived, a mandarin and cacao dessert encased in golden honeyed shards, eyes widened around the table. My feelings were confirmed. Here was food that engaged all the senses, a theatrical design that invited childlike excitement. Cracking through the soaring shards we discovered hidden segments of mandarin, citrus sorbet and chocolate. This was a visual, auditory and taste adventure that would be completely lost at ‘Dans Le Noir’. This was a reason to be grateful for the gift of sight. Looking around, everyone smiled at one another. Food is about all the senses, as much about how it makes us feel, as how it tastes.

Taking sight away reminds us of what there is to see: not only the food before us, but also one another.

Artwork by Joanne Leong

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

BURGBATTLE: BEST BURGER IN TOWN Shorty’s Chicken Burger

Burger Hero’s Haloumi Burger

Sweet Bones’ Vegan Burger

Ducks Nuts Bar and Grill’s Beef Burger

The Southern Fried Chicken Burger at Shorty’s appears, from the menu, to be like any other chicken burger containing the regular salads, cheese and bacon. After waiting a short time I was presented with a generous sized burger and chips. The hot chips were sprinkled in the Shorty’s equivalent of the 11 KFC herbs and spices. I think it’s just paprika but what do I know about cooking. The allure of eating all of them whilst they were still hot, and even before touching the burger was overwhelming. The chicken was fried well, but remained juicy. I didn’t particularly feel as if my veins were clogging on site, as I often do when I hit up the Dickson KFC for a greasy hangover feed. The brioche bun provided a solid foundation that held all of the ingredients together nicely, making it a relatively tidy meal. Lastly, the burger came with a side of sauce - chipotle mayo I am told. The fact that an establishment is giving away free sauce really makes my heart sing.

Especially considering other chicken burger establishments that I frequent often charge for it, the equivalent of a piece of my soul. Overall I’d give it 4/5, mostly based on the price of $19, which amounts to a lot of $2.50 drinks at Mooseheads.

I will admit that I am a fussy eater.

I will happily eat the same thing all day, every day, if I like it. One of the things I could eat forever is the haloumi burger at BurgerHero. Located on Mort St, BurgerHero is the friendly neighbourhood burger joint you never knew you had. They cater for everyone – meat eaters, vegetarians, even vegans with their sweet potato and lentil patty - but nothing beats the haloumi. The squeak of that cheese, with five toppings of your choice, smothered in your favourite sauce and squashed between two soft buns. Trust me, it doesn’t get much better than that. Every part of it is customizable to suit the fussiest of fussy eaters. Do yourself a favour, my meat eating and non-meat eating friends, and get yourselves a haloumi BurgerHero burger.

Stop what you’re doing. STOP. Get on your fixie and ride your little legs straight towards Braddon. Find Sweet Bones, order their burger, and wait for your life to change. It’s absolutely magnificent.

At $19 for a burger and chips it’s probably not a great idea to make this a regular habit, but if you’re after something tasty and a little bit different then the Ducks Nuts Beef Burger should do the trick.

Sweet Bones is Canberra’s own slice of feel good hipster heaven. A self-aware vegan establishment; it makes you feel like you give a shit while being so goddamn delicious. This burger - Bacon and Cheeze - finally answers vegan prayers everywhere, as bacon can in fact grown from trees. The “bacon” in this case is smoked coconut. It gives that crunchy texture and tasty flavour, without the oily self-regret. The main “patty” is a juicy hunk of grilled tofu, coupled with spinach, tomato, and onion. The vegan “Cheeze”, spread perfectly, ties everything together between two non-sweet, fresh white buns. HOLA!! Plus, it is served with a side of turmeric spiced chickpea salad.

Make sure to order a soy latte or one of their delectable vegan smoothies, such as the Elvis Presley - a nut galore. So go on, get a move on, ride down now and feel that sweet, delicious, vegan validation.

Working on the premise that adding bacon to things tends to improve them immeasurably, all Ducks Nuts have really done is taken your classic cheeseburger – beef, cheese, pickles, and lettuce – and added a whole lot of maple syrup-soaked bacon. When was that not going to be a good idea?

Annika Law

Julia May

Rosie Heselev

Tom Wilkie-Black

The highlight of the burger for me was the meat. It was so juicy, and whatever herbs and spices it had been cooked in gave it such a rich flavour that I am literally salivating at my computer screen as I write this.

Sure the burger could have been just a little bit bigger (although the mountain of chips on the side made up for this) and the bacon could probably have been a bit crispier. But all in all, Ducks Nuts have nailed the sweet and salty vibe they were going for with this burger and it’s definitely worth a try.

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Slip of the Lip Hailing from the glorious city of Queanbeyan, I spent my first year of uni dabbling in Physics, Maths, English and Music. By some drastic turn of events, I am now majoring in German and Linguistics. A Slip of the Lip is a linguistics student’s attempt to provide interesting and (reasonably) well-researched language titbits.

The Case Against Saying What You Mean

Caroline Hendy In a world where “say what you mean, mean what you say” is conventional wisdom, we can’t afford for our political campaigns and contemporary literature to follow suit. By doing away with ambiguity we’re robbing ourselves of the chance for deeper thought and greater change.

Until the ripe old age of six, children are unable to understand word riddles and metaphors. They can’t explain why the joke, “What do you call an alligator in a vest?” “An investigator!” is humorous, presuming instead that an investigator is simply a welldressed reptile, or that alligators in suits must necessarily be involved in the pursuit of criminal justice. They lack metalinguistic awareness – the understanding that the form that words take can be entirely divorced from their meaning.

This kind of metalinguistic understanding is what allows us to explore the greater issues of the world through literature. Analogies and metaphors exploit metalinguistic understanding to make difficult concepts accessible.

Without them, Animal Farm is just a story about some weird megalomaniac pigs. With them, a story about a farm becomes a gateway to understanding complex political doctrines and events. Not only that, but by writing a work of fiction rather than an essay entitled “Comments on early 20th Century Russia”, Orwell, and

writers like him, leave a whole lot of ambiguity, forcing the reader to form their own judgements and draw their own parallels.

This is also why political activists often don’t say exactly what they mean – why the Black Lives Matter movement isn’t called the Black Lives Matter the Same as Everyone Else’s and We Just Want Unbiased Treatment Because We’re Still Being Targeted at Disproportionately High Rates movement. Not only is it catchier, but the ambiguity of the three word slogan makes it easy to identify the people who have the privilege of not experiencing the issues first hand, and have also not made the effort to understand the problem.

To people who live with the mindset of taking everything at face value ‘All Lives Matter’ sounds great. In fact, when you put ‘Black Lives Matter’ and ‘All Lives Matter’ side by side without knowing the context, it looks like ‘All Lives Matter’ is better for promoting equality. It makes sense that this is the one that privileged and ignorant, but often well-meaning people take up. This makes them really easy to identify, and thus easy to challenge and educate. Gradually more people are called ou

Why no thinking person could adhere to the Paleo Diet Josh Neri One way in which homo sapiens pass the massive excess of time they possess in the 21st Century is to concoct, adopt and proceed to promulgate ‘diets’. Now, whilst I as much as anyone would espouse eating a healthy, balanced variety of foods, the sheer ridiculousness of the modern ‘diet’ almost escapes imagining.

From going gluten free by choice, to the variety of detoxing options (the most notable being the lemon detox), the liquid only options, the raw only options, a cookie only diet and even eating baby food - there is a diet out there appealing to every persuasion.

Clearly, humanity has got too much time on its hands, which is especially dangerous when coupled with our bad habit of credulity. Indeed, if an individual can believe that not vaccinating their kids is a wise decision, it seems positively rational to only eat baby food.

One such exemplar of the modern ‘diet’ is the Paleo diet, which preaches a return to the roots of our species nutrition as the “way that humans are meant to eat”. The abstinence from such delicacies as dairy, caffeine, alcohol, sugar, and even salt are the foundations of this purportedly transformative experience.

Essentially, it prohibits any item, or any new form of an item - such as oils, modern grains and breads - that wasn’t available to our Palaeolithic kin. Predictably, and despite grandeur claims of being informed by “evolutionary medicine”, no scientific data exists to support the claims made by proponents that the Paleo diet provides any meaningful health benefits over a normal, balanced diet.

What offends me most about diets in this vein, however, is the reasoning used to justify them. It is reasoning which is pierced about as easily as a thin sheet of wax paper. The un-

derlying assumption - that humans would be better off eating as they did in the Palaeolithic period - is patently absurd. It is obvious that we are not Palaeolithic humans and as such, our digestive systems have different qualities when compared to our long lost forbearers. Yes, once upon a time everyone was lactose intolerant, but we have indeed progressed since that time, in much the same way that we no longer think that the earth is flat.

But even ignoring this, let us follow this logic to it natural conclusion.

Today, humans do a variety of things that they couldn’t have dreamed of in the Palaeolithic era; we can fly around in metal tubes, we can communicate over a network of satellites, and we can cook up glorious memes of overlord Schmidt on Stalkerspace.

Yes, whilst not all of them these are for the greater good, the vast majority are (although which exactly those are is up for debate).

Should we ignore every step we have taken? Should we disregard the last 2 million years of slow and painful progress because it isn’t “the way we were meant to be”? Should we walk around in furs and grunt at one another? I leave myself in your trustworthy hands as to the answers to these questions. Although, based upon their behaviour, some members of our political community appear not to have progressed so very far from our ancestors; perhaps a perfect candidate for the Paleo Diet has been found at last... but I digress.

Please, I appeal to your better judgement; avoid fad diets of any persuasion. Instead of placing trust in populist solutions to problems that don’t exist in the first place, approach your diet in a reasonable way. Oh, and maybe lay off the 2 minute noodles.

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An Alternative Food Stop Ellen Jane

Tucked behind Lena Karmel Lodge sits the Food Co-op. When I first visited, I stood in front and tried to pick the right moment to walk in. Standing in front of it is a little foreboding - I’m not nearly hip enough for a trendy café. Yet inside I went, in search of something sweet to tide me over for the classes to come that morning. Behind the tinted windows was a setting I wasn’t expecting. Laughter and general hubbub abounded, but was not deafening. The furniture was bright and colourful. People were catching up, drinking coffee and… in the corner, a grocery section!? Behind the coffee tables and sofas is a comprehensive grocery store which smells like the spice markets from my hometown. Huge barrels of beans, rice, spaghetti, wholesale olive oil, dishwashing liquid, chai tea, cinnamon and chunks of chocolate. An array of goodies and, hold on, bamboo toothbrushes?

a supermarket. The aim is zero waste.

Members get discounts in store and on events, and have a say in how things are run, but shopping is open to everyone.

Also, if you volunteer for one hour a fortnight you get 15% off everything in store. It provides an alternative place to shop.

The Food Co-op was born out of the ANU Nutrition Society in the days of bell-bottoms and disco. It’s come a long way from handing out free fruit and veg to uni students, but it still upholds the same value of making good food accessible. You have to bring your own containers, but the prices are comparable to

Mitch is the Chef at the Food Co-op responsible for all the delicious lunches people line up to eat. Most important aspect of the Food Co-op? “the people who work there and how caring and community based it is.” I ask for a tip to eating good, yet cheap as a uni student: “Meat is really expensive so cutting down can

Conor and Jono, the Co-managers of the Food Co-op, see a value in the work they do, and hope people looking for good food will seek them out. One of their main goals is to keep the produce as low-cost as possible so students and low income families are able to put good food on the table. To enable this, the Co-op is not for profit and keeps prices as close to wholesale as they can.

Lunches have been wildly successful and they hope to make it easier for the average student to benefit from what the Co-op has to offer.

save a fair bit of money. Cooking for yourself is also way cheaper. Eating out costs way more money and you can get home meals down to around one dollar.”

I caught up with a few volunteers: Peter who has been volunteering as a cook at the Food Co-op every week for over twenty years; Barbara, a new volunteer who was drawn to the Co-op because it is organic, run by volunteers and works on the principle that ‘less is more’; or Jordan, who has been volunteering once a week at the Co-op for almost a year now and likes how volunteering has taught her tips and tricks for her own cooking, and how to reduce food waste.

In the face of the sometimes inhibiting ‘cool vibes’, Jordan stresses that “the Food Co-op is really awesome, come in and try it. It’s honestly not just for hipsters, but a place anyone is welcome.”

Maybe you will be enticed by the idea of warming yourself up, and devouring some Autolyse Sourdough, before plonking yourself down on one of the many seats and catching up on a lecture using the free Wifi. Maybe you will meet up with friends for a bliss ball and a coffee

and snuggle into the comfy couches to chat long into the afternoon. Maybe you will BYO container and shopping bag and enjoy wholesale prices on the edge of campus? Or maybe you will want a little more, and walk through the door and say “I want to volunteer” - that will work too. When you pay your $6 for a steaming bowl of deliciousness at the Food Co-op, you are not just getting a feed. In addition, you are becoming a part of a caring community.

Me? I left the Co-op with a banana charlotte crumble and a book full of ideas under my arm. I think I will be going back. If you’re wanting some good food around campus, look no further.

Wander down and meet the volunteers at the Food Co-op. You’ll wonder why you didn’t go earlier. I sure did!

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CREATIVE WRITING Apple sticker Alex Johnson yesterday i ate the apple sticker by accident it was still very delicious.

Ja uary Anna Miley That missing ’n’, the en, the en, an end to something unending.

All around un-ends yet this summer is so particularly like knives under nails.

Palm trees un-end, shed dead end fronds and shoot up to the sun for more withering by broken rays.

Flies buzz automatically in flat air, once circle en, two, en, three four five, a belligerent drill only just sentient, — almost not alive.

Winter’s Heart Dogu Yesildag In winter’s heart, We were mighty, Strong, gloveless and shivering.

Ignoring the cold,

Winds were but a joke.

We were men, proud, tall and strong.

Our boots were tough, the white carpet below, bowed to our feet.

We frowned in silence, none spoke but the wind.

Our chests up high, snow crowned our heads.

No weapons we had, our eyes were our swords.

Our steamy breaths, a dragon’s mist.

The air like water, Froze with tension.

And out of nowhere, from winter’s heart A voice shouted, an innocent voice; “Snowball fight!”

Dead Cherries Alex Johnson when the sorting was done i saw a black heap. overripe the cherries lay with dark sweat glazed over their heads they can only be used for example and fake outs now who ordered this? you, Sun, giver of life and you, Time, the ever everkeeper of the peace. so thanks for all that but not for the cherries.

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

The Food Trilemma Isaac DUGDALE What to eat? The question we ask ourselves at least three times a day, and no wonder we do, as we are faced with three terrible options when it comes to consumption.

Option One: live in wilful ignorance of where our food comes from. Option Two: understand where our food comes from, but continue to consume it while feeling shitty about ourselves.

Option Three: go vegan.

The depressing part, is that ‘not choosing’ is still a choice - as soon as you are aware that these choices exist, continuing to pretend that they don’t is the same as picking Option One. A blissful unawareness is an unlikely reality - especially given those annoying, preachy, self-righteous vegans that make it nearly impossible to get through your degree without them intruding on the blissful state of ignorance that has served you so well up to this point.

You’ve chosen Option One if you refuse to watch unsettling YouTube videos, if you make jokes instead of engaging with discussion about food sources, or if you immediately stop reading/listening/watching as soon

as the words ‘vegan’ or ‘vegetarian’ or ‘animal rights’ are mentioned. Even worse than the above, those truly dedicated to the wilful ignorance lifestyle will arrive at moral nihilism for their dietary habits, while being a normal, well-adjusted person in every other part of life.

You’ve chosen Option Two if you watch those YouTube videos, don’t eat meat for dinner that night, and find yourself agreeing with the overzealous, personal-space defying, barefoot activists - but then continue to uphold the same habits you have always held when you wake up the next day. Typically, instead of making jokes, Option Two-ers will apologetically agree, and then bring up several very impressive excuses as to why they personally are not inclined to live that way.

You’ve chosen Option Three if you lost 10 kilos, argue with your friends all the time, and take your food back to the wait staff every other time you eat out because “yes, sorry, fish is meat, and no, vegans don’t eat eggs”.

You see your life as being made even harder by the incorrect choices that others make, and you therefore see it

as your responsibility to reform the opinions of all those who have not chosen Option Three, and rid your community, and the world, of blissful ignorance.

So which option is best? Or perhaps I should ask, which is less shit? I suppose that would depend on who you asked. If you ask the average, budget-stifled Uni student, they will likely say Option One. If you ask the suppliers of the cheap, but wholly unethical food that is the standard fare we find on our supermarket shelves, they would probably also advocate for everyone choosing Option One. If you ask free-range egg farmers, or anyone who claims they make ‘ethical’ meat, then I suppose they would say Option Two. But I think that if you could ask the billions of animals whose lives consist of nothing but pointless suffering, from their conception until their brutal slaughter, they would say Option Three. Future generations of humans who would prefer to inhabit a hospitable planet would also agree.

To shine a slightly more positive light on the life of us Option Threeers, you should know that one of the cheapest and most convenient places to get lunch at ANU is the Food Coop. They make different vegan lunches every day, PLUS, you get change from a $10 note when you get lunch and a coffee. A bit further down the road, on Lonsdale Street, is the legendary Sweetbones bakery/café, and close by in Dickson you have the delicious and sometimes weird meat substitute havens of Au Lac and Kingsland. For all questions beyond where to grab a cheap and ethical bite, there is a Facebook group called ‘Vegan A.C.T - Canberra, Australia’ to help you with everything else you need to learn; including, but not limited to, how to cook, where to shop, and how to tell your parents.

Honestly, Canberra has it pretty good when it comes to ‘cruelty-free’ eating.

And you know what, veganism isn’t quite THAT shit (although the first few weeks can be).

Some Food for Thought Phoebe Hamra Here’s a lil nugget I’ve been chewing on. Am I bad at sex? Some of you lucky bunnies might be confident that you’re a stud in the bedroom but a spot of self-evaluation never goes astray. After being with one person for a while do you get used to getting down a certain way? Does that limit your sexy skills when you frickle-frackle with someone else? Although, it is pretty rare to have paradigm-shifting sex with someone the first time you get together (especially after a big Thursday at Moose) so perhaps not everyone is that hung up on quality?

Ellen Makaryan The cruelty of factory farming is well known, and the inhumane practice of live exporting has been widely publicised, with buses and roadside billboards being plastered with the crude reality of the exportation process.

However, little is said about the cru-

elty of the dairy industry, and it is unknown to many the rape, abuse, and eventual slaughter that is behind a simple glass of milk. It’s time to shatter the utopian image of a cow being happily milked in a grass paddock, because the reality is that cows are continuously impregnated to produce milk, are separated from their young, and are eventually sent to slaughter when they are no longer deemed useful. It is time to rethink – is this chain of perpetual abuse really worth it for a mere glass of milk?

Caitlin Burke We cannot afford to celebrate the announcement of a Royal Commission in the Territory. Not yet. The suggestion that content broadcasted on 4 Corners was previously unknown to elected authorities, is ludicrous and deceitful. They knew. Spit-hooding, cuffing, shackling, gassing and isolation…. How did we get here? To answer, Australia must confront the

grim reality of it’s cultural DNA. The fabric of trauma that plagues the average Don Dale resident from birth is inherent, systematic and relentless.

It’s in our genes. The exposure of institutionalised abuse that invaded our living rooms last week was merely the icing on a pre-packaged cake. I’ll only be celebrating when we start changing the recipe.

Alexandra Green All or nothing. When I mention the idea to my friends, their response is knee-jerk “I can’t even think about eating a dog… that’s disgusting”. 39% of Australian households own a dog, and though I’m not suggesting that you go home and kill the family pet, it does seem hypocritical to repel the idea but then go home and enjoy a nice cut of pig - an animal of similar intelligence.

From the year 2013 to 2014, a quarter of a million dogs and cats were euth-

anized in Australia, one of the major reasons being these shelter dogs had nowhere else to go. Disposal of this meat can create serious environmental and ecological problems. Perhaps, if we ate this dog meat – which is already ripe for the taking – then the demand for beef and other environmentally threatening meat produce, would go down. Recently, a U.S company admitted to using euthanized dog-meat in the production of feed for other animals, commenting that it was “common practice in the industry”. If euthanized dogs are becoming food for our food, why don’t we just cut out the middleman? I would like to make it clear that I certainly don’t support the Yulin Dog Festival, because it involves the infliction of unnecessary harm to the animals, but next time you squeal at the idea of having a hound on your plate, just ask yourself, why is this really so bad?

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Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

woroni PULL-OUT

Mon

Tues

August 1

Wed

August 3

Thurs

August 4

Fri

August 5

August 2

Schedule Bruce Hall, Wed Aug 3

Sex and consent schedules printed in Woroni as received

Features

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

A Cultural Revolution: Sexism in Residential Halls Saskia Milne As a second year resident at Burgmann College, I haven’t been overly involved in political debates or feminist causes. In fact, the most I’ve done is chuck a supportive ‘like’ on Facebook posts that reflect my beliefs. I, like a lot of residents, believe in the feminist cause, but in the past I have not ‘bothered’ to show it. After the recent unfolding of events at Johns, however, I’ve realized the importance of adding my voice to the cause and taking up the responsibility, as a resident, to advocate for bringing sexism to an end within college life.

Thankfully, the residential halls within ANU have already reached ‘formal equality’, in that all colleges have female and male RAs/SRs and equal opportunities exist for all residents, regardless of gender. Nevertheless, the problem of sexism remains, lurking within the informal aspects of life that persist in the halls of our colleges - in conversations, interactions and social traditions.

It is important to realize that sexism exists on a spectrum. The majority of sexism that takes place in residential halls aren’t the extreme examples that first come to mind.

Instead, sexism takes place implicitly, by omission, through comments that stem from ignorance, and from lack

of attention or thought. The problem arises when this implicit sexism goes passively unchecked. We let rogue comments, double standards and subtle sexist digs slide. This perpetuates a sexist culture in subtle ways, allowing the situation to fester and escalate.

Relatively minor changes need to be brought about by each and every one of us, so that things do not escalate to a point where extreme actions are the only answer, such as the recent John’s expulsions.

The power of speaking out is severely under-rated, but due to the ease of sitting by, it is also extremely hard to do. This is especially hard for women who are expected to play a passive and oppressed role. When I was discussing writing this article with a friend, she told me a story that perfectly encapsulates the toxic culture of inaction. During dinner, a shockingly sexist comment was made by a big name at College. It left me openmouthed, staring with disbelief at my friend who had relayed it to me. It not only belittled women, but also the seriousness of drink spiking and rape.

Shockingly, instead of being met with the outrage it deserved, the comment was met with laughter. Although my friend did not join in the laughter, she was too afraid to call the perpetrator out, as no one else seemed to

share her shock and disbelief. She explained that she feared coming across as ‘overly-dramatic’ or ‘emotional’ for ‘complaining’ about feminist issues, especially against such a big name, a feeling many of us can relate too.

She began to doubt whether she had a right to react – but she did. It is important for us to cultivate a culture that rewards those who stand up, rather than silence them. Until we do, those who feel wronged will continue to suffer in silence to maintain friendships, which should never be the case.

As I have seen, once someone identifies as a feminist, they are a put in a position where they are constantly judged. They are either seen as ‘extremists’ and disgustingly titled a ‘feminazi’, or aren’t extreme enough in their behaviour and are then viewed as hypocritical. In either situation, their view is marginalsed, and thus, disregarded. This is a culture that we ourselves have created, and thus, is one we can end. If we all view ourselves as feminists and maintain a zero tolerance attitude, the fear of being different will whittle away, and so will the ability to get away with sexism and other forms of discrimination. For this to happen, we have to be brave enough to take the first step, act as an example, and start a

domino effect that will create a positive change - this involves voicing your own opinion instead of echoing some-one else’s through a nod or ‘Facebook ‘like’.

Sexism is all about stereotyping and generalisations. In residential halls, we have a unique opportunity to break down these walls due to the intimacy of living together in a microcosm of the broader society. We see firsthand the diverse struggles each of us face – to look good for nights out, to survive social drama, and to succeed academically. Residents gain a clear understanding of who other residents are as individuals, and we need to embrace the opportunity for change that this understanding offers us.

We are all bigger than our genders.

Boys will be boys’ is not an excuse for oppressive conduct. If something about females is being said that wouldn’t be appropriate to say in front of a female, then it isn’t appropriate in front of anyone.

I am not the type of person to comment on big social issues. Even writing this article, I’ve found it challenging to express my views for fear of seemi

In Bed with Sex Ed Alex Elgue High school is a difficult time for most. And with the landmines that are hormones, growth spurts, and acne surges that just won’t quit, is it really any wonder why? As teenagers try to navigate the unpredictable terrain their bodies have become, there is one beacon of light that aims to help them understand the truth of what is occurring within them.

That’s right: Sex Ed. You remember cringing awkwardly while some underpaid health teacher tried to articulate the intricacies of sex and puberty to a bunch of teenagers who would have given their right arm to be anywhere else? You also probably remember the poorly acted short films designed to explain your

own body to you as though it were a foreign piece of machinery. You know what you probably don’t remember learning about? The importance of consent.

Of course, there was the usual lecture. ‘Don’t drink too much at a party because this might happen…’ and ‘Don’t take drugs or boys might take advantage of you…’ The Coach Carr-esque warnings go on and on.

At the end of the day, we all received the same thinly veiled threat: if you are not on constant alert, expect your right to consent to be taken from you without hesitation.

Yet, in all my years of high school, I cannot bring to mind a single instance of a teacher explaining, without a hint of hesitation, that the right

to consent is final. That if anyone is pressured into having sex against their will, even if the pressure is not overtly physical or violent, it is unequivocally rape, and is in no way acceptable under any circumstances.

This is not only true for girls - pressuring men into sex is just as reprehensible and damaging to the victim.

It almost seems like rape is wielded in high school as a weapon, an incentive for youngsters to tow the line and bypass risk. But the result remains damaging, as the importance of respecting consent and an individual’s power over their own body is overlooked.

And herein lies the true danger of the way in which health education is approached in schools: students are alienated from their own bodies and

explained the external mechanics, instead of being taught to consider themselves from the inside looking out.

Sex is an intimate act and consent is a basic human right - those are the twin pillars upon which sexual acts should be based, and yet they are nowhere to be found in the classroom.

Sex Ed is important. Teenagers will be teenagers, and it is indispensable for them to know what goes where and why. Nonetheless, the issue of consent is far too important to be overlooked any longer, and if the syllabus doesn’t evolve along with the times, we will all be the worse off for it.

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Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

FEATURES

untitled poem Makayla My ‘B’ is silent, cunning in the backdrop of my perfect life.

But how can I say, to my boyfriend, oh so straight, That my heart, and more yearns for the touch of a woman.

Their spirits connected to mine, their skin their touch their gentle and their power, Ready to take me over.

My soul is sure, but my mind is not.

For the unspoken ‘B’ word crushes my vision of ever saying it aloud.

untitled poem Makayla Feather touches of lips upon skin, Oh how could you make me feel so?

Hush!

Don’t let them hear.

And I see pinks and blood orange and a sweet, sweet yellow, and my colours are happy.

For you, a woman, should wrap me up and make me feel alight.

Feverish, and the pace quickens Hurry, Hurry, Hurry!

For they shall come and place their eyes upon our show; your display between my open legs…

Well, let them see.

See how they could never fulfil me.

But you.

Oh you, woman.

You are all I need.

Features

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

Doing You Phoebe is a first year PPE / Art History and Curatorship student.

They say ‘write what you know’, so as an Explorer and Adventurer of all things pertaining to sexuality and a control freak looking to take risks, she’s decided to write this column. She will be discussing Sex from a different angle in each Edition.

In the meal of life, sex is the ice cream Phoebe Hamra University students are supposedly the most enlightened members of society - the harbingers of change, the voice of the next. We’ll debate politics, art, science and ethics until our heads fall off, but when it comes to sex this ouverture d’esprit tends to crawl back inside us; secreted away with the other complexities of life we find intriguing, yet too embarrassing to talk about.

Why is sex still such a source of shame for us? Sure it’s part of our discussion in a few ways; the vulgar bragging about last night’s hook-ups, heated outrage over the unacceptable instances of rape on university campuses, or complaints of a particularly persistent virginity or dry spell… but there is not such a platform for the exploration of sexuality on a more casual level.

Forest’s mom always said, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

I say, “Sex is like ice cream. There’s something for everyone.”

Not to equate my existential insight with such a woman as Mrs. Gump, but hear me out. I love to talk about sex. It’s never something I’m uncomfortable with, and for me, that’s liberating and empowering - but I know this is not a universal quality.

Ice cream, however, is comparatively less controversial and divisive.

The thing about ice cream (just to clarify we’re talking about sex here) is that everyone likes different flavours and no one can judge you for liking one flavour over another. With ice cream, there’s no limit on the variety of flavours you can like, nor how many you can sample. Your tastes are allowed to change. Eat as much ice cream as you like or don’t eat any. Everything about how you eat ice cream is entirely your prerogative and no one can discourage you from acting accordingly. But why shouldn’t we engage in a little more discussion of the

merits of Salted Caramel or Pistachio over Vanilla?

Ultimately, there’s no “normal” way to think about, talk about, or have sex. However, it seems that attitudes towards sex that stray from mainstream soft porn are quarantined to the bedroom (or wherever else). Sex can be highly intimate and personal for some people so I’m not suggesting one’s sexual experience should be public record, however, reluctance to talk about sex because of the shame and judgement surrounding it, is to me, archaic. Without sharing information and stories about sex, we’re leaving sexual education to porn and high schools, which perpetuates its commerciality and stigma.

I became sexually aware pretty early in life - an inevitability when blessed/cursed with hips and tits at 11 - but I knew this to be weird and shameful, not something I could talk with my friends about, much less my parents. Although some more progressive families have more relaxed attitudes towards sex stuff, my family neatly packaged sexuality into a box labelled “the sex talk”; awkwardly delivered either laughably late or unnecessarily early. Mine came at about 13 when the reality of sex was so far off for me that neither side took it too seriously. Catholic school was similarly shameful, with PDHPE teachers skirting around the topic in year 7 and forgetting it after that, and religion teachers “indoctrinating” (their words not mine) us against the sin of fornication.

We are conditioned to fear and feel uncomfortable about sex - a transcendent aspect of life that makes and keeps us human. Can we not embrace our sexuality and de-stigmatise it from social discourse? Wouldn’t this encourage safer sex practices, less sexual violence, and eradicate hate caused by ignorance?

When Sex means the Emergency Room: My experiences with a sexual dysfunction Kat Reed

The first time I had sex I ended up in the ER. I don’t have a regretful story about how it wasn’t the right person, or I wasn’t ready. Instead, I was terrified.

I remember thinking at this point like I was broken or inadequate. I had always had difficulty using tampons before, but I figured I just wasn’t used to them or I wasn’t using them the right way. It never occurred to me that something else could be going on as it was just never talked about within my networks or online. It just never occurred to me.

So when I did have sex, it was too tight. It was like hitting a wall. What was wrong with me? I felt broken and inadequate. I even started to believe that it I would never be able to have sex.

Vaginismus is psychological condition that causes the PC muscles of the vagina to clamp tight or spasm involuntarily that can prevent penetrative sex. It’s often caused by an unconscious fear or discomfort of penetrative sex, and can be a source of shame for many who are unaware of their condition. It’s currently listed in the DSM as a sexual dysfunction. The treatment for Vaginismus is to use dilators so the patient could slowly get used to the feeling and begin to relax the muscles.

I didn’t know any of this at the time though. I had never heard about it before. It was never covered in my sex ed or puberty classes, I had never seen it on my Facebook newsfeed or never talked about in conversation. If I had known, I wouldn’t have made that trip to the emergency room during my first time.

So I did it the stupid way: we pushed forward with sex even though it seemed impossible. We managed some level of it before the pain hit. It was excruciating. It was like I had been punched incredibly hard in my lower abdomen, from

the inside. For every minute that passed, my muscles contracted at least twice, sending shooting stabs of pain through my lower body. We stopped, but I started having a panic attack and ended up passing out from shock and exhaustion. I woke in the ER 3 hours later.

I did eventually end up having sex and getting past my vaginismus. Fortunately, it’s a condition that is easily cured with time and patience. My partner and I went slowly and gradually, using lots of lube and mental relaxation and over time next few weeks we were able to slowly relax the muscles by a little more each time. It hurt, but I was determined to push through, if only so I could have control over my body again. 2 years on and it’s completely gone, I still occasionally double over in pain out of the blue every now and then but it’s manageable.

There is so much awareness and recognition that can be done to raise awareness of vaginismus.

There is too much silence and erasure of vaginas in our society that it’s causing many to fear asking for help.

Why are we afraid to talk about it?

There are too many of stories of those who suffer in silence, afraid to discuss the intimate, or in ignorance with confused and pressuring partners. We need to erase the shame and the silence that is created by sex-negative attitudes and embrace our vaginas as beautiful and magnificent things that deserve care and attention. Maybe then, we can help those in pain and suffering and allow them to enjoy their vaginas and their sexuality.

Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

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ARTS & REVIEWS

Sweeney Todd: In Conversation Kat Carrington

The power trio of ANU Interhall Production’s upcoming Sweeney Todd - Gowrie Varma (Director), Kat Tang (Musical Director) and D’arcy Pierce (Producer) - discuss all things demon barber and student theatre with Kat Carrington.

KC: You have all been involved in theatre on campus in various capacities before this, what originally got you started in the theatre scene?

KT: Music has always been my thing.

I was roped into Spamalot [IHP 2014] and since then, because I loved it so much, I played a few more shows, and here I am. I’ve always loved music.

DP: I’ve done costumes for the past two IHP productions, and then this year got involved with the executive and production team. The main thing I wanted out of the show, as Interhall Productions as a ANU society as a whole, was to follow due process at every point, making the the society more accessible and approachable.

GV: I guess it started in primary school and high school, and now I’m obsessed with it! I want to do it for the rest of my life. I love it, I love storytelling, and I’ve always appreciated the value of entertainment. There is nothing better than hearing from an audience member that they’ve had an experience that they wouldn’t otherwise have had. I love that.

KC: Sweeney Todd is such an iconic piece and a lot of people have seen the Burton film, what makes IHP’s production of this show unique?

GV: It’s difficult because you’re right, everyone has seen the film. I was terrified of trying to do what Burton did because he did something very special and it spoke to a lot of people.

What I wanted to do was focus on all of these individual characters and to not assume that the audience can’t deal with everything at once. You have to give the audience a little bit of credit in how much work they do in theatre.

What I felt like happened in Burton’s film was he drew out a few key characters, particularly the key Swee-

ney arc. He wanted to focus on that dark, revenge, gory, thriller aspect of the show. Which of course exists, but there are nine characters with lightand-dark, so much conflict, you’re not sure if you love or hate them from the start to finish of the show. For example, you can read Johanna as a very two-dimensional young woman who has nothing in her head but love, fairies and flowers. I didn’t want to read her like that - we didn’t think that was relevant to us now so we have chosen to draw out things that will hopefully speak to the ANU audience better.

KT: I think the music needs to reflect the overall vision of the show, and I think Gowrie and I have collaborated a lot. We’ve spent most of our rehearsals together.

GV: I think as well we started this process with a conversation about what we wanted the experience to be – not just the show, but for the people involved. We’ve managed to cultivate this culture of people supporting each other. There are so many people involved.

KC: I’ve heard some great exercises coming out of rehearsals pretending to be a cockroach is something that comes to mind - do you want to talk about character development, and how you’ve achieved the light-anddarkness of each character?

GV: One thing we’re doing differently this year with the chorus is rather than having a certain number of leads and then an ambiguous chorus, I thought it’d be a really good opportunity for everyone is to have one role from start to finish. Even if they play versions of that character throughout the show, they are playing that same one character. I wanted everyone involved to explore and learn the process of character development. We did a lot of basic acting training workshops, and that sometimes may seem to a lot of young directors a waste of 2-3 big rehearsals doing stuff that is not directly related to the show but it is important for so many reasons. It builds a strong ensemble, it allows the people within that ensemble to feel safe and therefore communicate and trust each other and it allows them to

identify their limitations and work on them.

I love using Tadashi Suzuki’s methods a lot, because I admire him a lot.

He focuses on physicality of the body.

That’s one of the main issues with amateur actors, how to feel comfortable in a role and physicalizing a character from A to Z giving the audience the fewest possible opportunities to not believe it. We do a lot of discussion and reflection as well. Whenever we did an acting workshop, we’d always talk about how these exercises play out. The focus on reflection means you get more out of it.

KC: How do you, Kat, approach the music for the first time for the cast and the orchestra bringing in some of these methods of character development?

KT: I think what we whilst we did the songs, Gowrie would introduce character development. After we learnt the notes, we’d tell them to sing it in character. We’ve integrated both the music and the character so much that they’ve had this whole process to think about their character, and also apply the music to it so that makes sense to them. The orchestra has done an amazing job with such limited rehearsals and they’re all students as well. Getting the cast to come along to orchestra rehearsals, both groups get so excited because they can finally see what it’s all about. I think that’s the main thing, keeping these people excited about the show.

KC: What has been your favourite moment in this process?

GV: The first run with the orchestra.

KC: I heard there was a lot of crying.

GV: I don’t cry in public ever. Not because I don’t want to, it just doesn’t come out, but I saw Kat crying and I wept. That was our first run. The reason I wept wasn’t because I was proud but because I actually enjoyed the show. It felt really good to see these moments with characters that I actually believed even though I know the actors. It’s like when you see an incredible film. You’ve seen Meryl Strep in 65 other things but you can’t

see anyone except Margaret Thatcher on the screen. That is incredible.

The first time was brilliant. Everyone gets context to every scene. There is always pace.

KC: And your favourite moment in the show?

KT: I don’t even know at this point.

When everything is coming together, everything just looks so good. I really like “Not When I’m Around” just because of the song. It is so adorable.

GV: Yet so frightening. That’s the thing with so many of these songs.

You can say it’s beautiful but it’s also always so frightening.

KT: Sachini [who plays Tobias] plays this melody and Lovett sings it later and it’s a sort of haunting violin melody that goes over it.

GV: That’s the beauty of musicals, which I didn’t realise until this show, is that you’re playing a scene and you don’t even realise that this is happening in the violin section, but it feels different.

KT: Music just sets the mood. Music is the thing that makes you cry in movies, it gives you the goose bumps and all of that. That is what this is.

The orchestra has done so well to portray that mood, that sinister feel even when Lovett sings this beautiful melody.

KC: Any other burning thoughts to add?

GV: I’m so glad I have these two to work with. To have a team that you can count on, and you can trust, and have open communication with is incredibly rare. We just lucked out.

Sweeney Todd is running between the 5th – 13th August at the ANU Arts Centre Main Stage.

Tickets and more information can be found at http://sweeneytodd. getqpay.com/.

ARTS & REVIEWS

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

ALBUM REVIEWS arguably the virtuoso guitarist’s finest hour, with the uber-relaxed title track beautifully balanced by pieces with a faster tempo, such as “Jean de Fleur” and “Nomad”. Idle Moments is best enjoyed with sangria and a Cuban coastline. Ideally. Probably still enjoyable with cheap wine and the CBR glow.

The Perils Old Man Saxon Waheed Jayhoon Old Man Saxon’s 2016 commercial debut The Perils is smooth and sharp.

While only 4 tracks long, it avidly demonstrates the Colorado native’s highly potent rap intellect. The record itself is uniquely concept driven - a fascinating exploration of Saxon’s year living in his Ford Explorer during his bout of homelessness in 2014. Layered over a seemingly Nujabes-inspired jazz hop production by ThiefofBaghdad, Saxon sounds like a strange amalgamation of Schoolboy Q’s voice and Earl Sweatshirt’s flow, and I love it.

Idle Moments Grant Green (Jazz) Alex Johnston The title track of Grant Green’s 1965 opus Idle Moments tells no lie as to the music it contains. While listening to the magical, laidback 15-minute piece, time itself seems to slow down and the next note seems another album away. Like an extended separation from a good friend, however, the phrase eventually arrives and the wait is undoubtedly worth it.

This is Green’s eighth album and is

A Moon Shaped Pool Radiohead Brendan Keller-Tuberg

Dipz Zebazios – The Delta Riggs Zoe Taylor In writing their second album, Melbourne based band Delta Riggs expanded their repertoire to deliver a diverse and authentic set of tracks to the Australian music scene. Dipz Zebazios is hallmarked with the band’s distinctive psychedelic aura, yet the variation between tracks makes for a complex album with each number adopting a unique pace and mood.

Ranging from a chilled out indie rock feel to bluesy gospel, lyrics filled with wisdom and nonsense roll off the tongue of lead singer Elliot Hammond, his groggy voice riding the smooth electric baselines. In their bold and unapologetic manner, the band even pumps out the rap number No Friends with considerable competence. Other tracks worth mentioning include the fan favourite Supersonic Casualties, and Ornate Delicate Creatures, the latter of which reveals an unexpectedly softer and sweeter voice in Hammond. The band are set to release their new album Active Galactic in August, followed by a 3 month national tour - check them out at Academy this September.

As the long-awaited ninth LP of one of the most influential alternative rock bands of the modern era, to say fans had lofty expectations for its first 4am listen (its release time in Australia) was an understatement. Having been 5 years since Radiohead’s last record The King of Limbs, many hoped the album would present a new direction for the band akin 2000’s Kid A or 2007’s In Rainbows and, to our disbelief, it did. A Moon Shaped Pool sees a return to the desolate experimental rock of albums like Amnesiac, augmented through the heavy use of orchestras and choirs (perhaps Jonny Greenwood’s contribution, drawing on experience composing film scores such as There Will Be Blood). The result is a cinematic yet introverted, dreary but accessible, collection of songs that continues to solidify Radiohead’s place as one of the best bands of the 21st century.

Dial theory (Tony’s Slice) EP on Merc Records - M.K VII Marie Heloury After ruling the Stockholm scene for 19 years, Mark Seven has released his most intriguing E.P yet, revealing his talent for mixing old-school London acid and New York house. Mark Seven, who recently changed his alias to M.K VII released his EP Dial Theory last June, launching it in the midst of the Adriatic Sea at the Love International Festival. The slow vocal loops which consist of a phone conversation extracted from Kris Humprhies’ live set in the early 90s caught my attention while listening to his old school house set, which was closing the festival.

I felt compelled to know where the comical and intriguing samples came from so I popped my head over the DJ booth to ask “Hey, what’s the phone conversation?”, to which I received a proud “It’s by me, Mark Seven, you’re one of the first ones to hear it”. Soon after, I jumped on the Internet to absorb myself into M.K VII’s new sound to find that Dial Theory is an elaborate yet playful mix of Balearic synthesisers and 90s American techno.

The phone conversation plays out the interaction between an uninterested yet kind woman and a rejected man trying to score a date, full of despair.

As the beats unfolds, the mood gets lighter and eventually short raps describe the revenge of the poor guy ending Mr. Seven’s track on a fun and playful note. No digital copies of this one yet, but it’s definitely an oldschool goodie you’ll want on wax.

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Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

ARTS & REVIEWS

Woroni Radio Playlists: Food for Thought Brendan Keller-Tuberg and Annelise Corey Cooking can be relaxing, challenging and even exciting, but sometimes it just feels like a chore. These songs (whether they’re about food or otherwise) are for when you’re cooking by yourself and you need something to bop along to as you chop your onions and stir your sauce. Who knows, some of them might even leave you with something to think about.

1. Strawberry Fields Forever –

The Beatles 2. Devil’s Pie – D’Angelo 3. Harold’s – Freddie Gibbs and Madlib 4. Lemonade - SOPHIE 5. Applesauce – Animal Collective 6. The Noisy Eater – The Avalanches 7. #CAKE – Shabazz Palaces 8. Curry Chicken – Joey Bada$$ 9. American Pie – Don McLean 10. C.R.E.A.M. – Wu-Tang Clan 11. Fruit Touch – Hudson Mohawke 12. The Waters – Mick Jenkins 13. Feeding Line – Boy and Bear 14. Ham ‘N’ Eggs – A Tribe Called Quest 15. Almond Milk Paradise - Milo 16. Beginners’ Falafel – Flying Lotus 17. Mince Meat - Dangerdoom 18. Ice Cream - Battles 19. Last Donut of the Night – J Dilla 20. Food – Badbadnotgood and

Ghostface Killah

1. Because I Love You – Montaigne 2. Love on Top – Beyonce 3. I Say A Little Prayer - Aretha Franklin 4. 22 - Lily Allen 5. It’s Raining Men - The Weather Girls 6. Float Away - Seth Sentry 7. Click Clack - Coda Conduct 8. Getin’ Jiggy With It - Will Smith 9. Walking on Sunshine Katrina and the Waves 10. Something I Said - Thundamentals 11. You Don’t Think You Like People

Like Me- Alex Lahey 12. Eat It - Skegss 13. Bad Reputation - Joan Jett 14. Our Town - Sticky Fingers 15. 1955- Hilltop Hoods 16. What’s It Gonna Be? – Shura 17. Golden Ticket - Highasakite 18. Ain’t No Mountain High - Marvin Gaye 19. Take a Chance on me – ABBA 20. I Wanna Dance With Somebody Whitney Housten

ARTS & REVIEWS

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

Woroni RADIO interviewS: Zac Mackey from The Weekly Wrap Loretta Lackner The Weekly Wrap’s Zach Mackey answered a few questions about having a show on Woroni Radio and what we can expect this semester.

L.L What attracts you to radio?

Z.M It is a medium where I can express my truly horrendous banter, while hiding safely behind a microphone. Getting into radio is something I have enjoyed most at Uni. The first couple of times were truly nerve wracking because it’s actually quite hard to talk for 30 minutes without stumbling over yourself or your co-presenter. But once you get used to it. The subpar chat flows off the tongue and your 30 odd listeners can’t stop giggling. I’ve also got the face for radio.

L.L Can you tell us a bit about The Weekly Wrap?

Z.M The Weekly Wrap is made up of Zach ‘true love is out there’ Mackey, Robbie ‘bring back Meche’ McNeill and Britt ‘Producer Britt’ Wallis. We are two Uni students, housemates and best friends who share a passion for bringing some of the world’s most important news stories to all ANU Students. Whether it be the best and

worst dressed at the MET Gala, Pauline Hanson’s latest Halal Snack Pack or reviewing Richie McCaw’s innate ability to cheat, we are going to be there giving our two cents worth.

As ANU’s Premier Radio Duo and the only National and International broadcasting team on campus, we pride ourselves not only on our professionalism, but mostly, on our ability to talk constant shit in almost any circumstance. It is this skill, I believe, that has got us to where we are today.

L.L How do you keep the spark alive between the two of you?

Z.M We try and keep things exciting. Being in a long term relationship means you need to try new things, so Robbie and I really try and spice things up best as we can. On a serious note though, we spend a considerable amount of time together. We can really work off each other with whatever conversation we are having, which I think is essential to keep the flow going on radio. We also share a lot of interests, but have very strong opinions, so it means we are never short of a discussion.

L.L How and when did you de-

cide that your banter was worth recording?

Z.M We started our show in 2015 after seeing a couple of mates do it, and knowing we could do better. I think it was as simple as a text between us saying, “Oi mate, lets do a radio show” and then we went from there.

Looking back at last year though we have made considerable improvements recently, so I dare say our chat has only been worth recording this year, compared to the shambles we occasionally found ourselves in last year!

L.L Are there podcasts or radio shows you model your own on?

Z.M Hamish and Andy hands down.

We love listening to the lads, and they also love listening in to our show when they can. In fact Hamish sent me a message the other day asking for new segment ideas, so I guess you could say they model themselves off us as well.

L.L You have a regular segment called good bloke/shit bloke, who is the ultimate good bloke/ shit bloke?

Z.M Funny you ask this actually! We had a poll on our Facebook page over the Winter Break asking this exact question, and the results weren’t all too surprising. I was voted good bloke because of my tireless work over the last 4 years to ensure Mooseheads has stayed in the black, and Robbie was voted shit bloke due to his Facebook activity that is questionable to say the least.

L.L What can we expect from The Weekly Wrap this semester?

Z.M We’re really looking forward to getting back on the air this semester, and continuing the proud tradition of seamless radio professionalism and on point banter that The Weekly Wrap has come to be known for. Fan favourite segments such as Good Bloke/ Shit Bloke and Wacky News will make a return, as well as many new ones, likely imagined five minutes before each show. Of course we will continue to spin the hottest beats this side of the Great Dividing Range!

L.L Any final words to live by?

Z.M The answer is always no if you don’t ask.

BoJack Horseman: A review of current television Stephanie Gajewski ‘So it doesn’t matter what we did in the past, or how we’ll be remembered.

The only thing that matters is right now, this moment, this one spectacular moment we are sharing together.

Right Sarah Lynn?’ - BoJack Horseman, S3 E11.

Now in the third season, Netflix’s animated program BoJack Horseman has established itself as television’s once a year hit of nihilism within a world where anthropomorphic animals and humans coexist side by side, with this season reaching new emotional and critical heights. The show follows BoJack, a horse and a former sitcom star, attempting to revive his non-existent career, with this season focusing on his Oscar campaign for his dream role in a biopic of his favourite sports star, Secretariat.

BoJack Horseman’s strength lies not only in a well developed and diverse cast and supporting characters, but in its unflinching honesty towards its characters and its audience. While the show is cynical towards much of modern life filtered through the Hollywood world, its unique combination of cynicism and honesty creates truly challenging television. Through embracing this perspective, BoJack Horseman is able to transform from a traditional style sitcom episode, to a murder mystery episode, to an underwater episode, and in doing so explore and demonstrate the impact of this attitude in the lives of its characters. The underwater episode demonstrates the artistic range the series is capable of, where dialogue is forgone as the action shifts location, forcing the audience to a new form of emo-

tional engagement based on images alone - and what a beautiful, foreign underwater universe these images create.

Although it is undoubtedly a comedy, BoJack Horseman takes advantage of the growing trend within the ‘Peak TV’ era to blur the lines between comedy and drama. Recurring gags are back, but while no-one is able to create a backdrop with hilarious visual gags on contemporary society in the manner of The Simpsons, the show does establish a hilarious new gag throughout the season culminating in a genius comedic payoff in the finale.

So maybe BoJack Horseman is the show we need right now: one that demands its characters confront big

questions, subverts convention by denying its audience an answer and simultaneously embracing an absurd subplot about getting lost in a hotel and a city that manages to tackle big social questions while delivering joke after joke. For all its nihilism and for the opening quote of this piece, it forces its characters and audience to feel. I don’t think there is any other show right now that is as profound, demanding and questioning of its characters and audience as BoJack Horseman. This feeling goes beyond embracing the good and the bad, but embracing what makes us human.

BoJack Horseman shows us the best and worst of ourselves in humans, cats, dogs and other

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ARTS & REVIEWS

REVIEW: Seth Sentry and Remi, ANU Bar Ruben Seaton

Hip hop in Australia is undoubtedly the poorer, grubbier, less articulate cousin to America’s mega-machine of rap. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing; after all, the context from which American hip hop was born is totally different to what’s been happening across the Pacific. This does mean, however, that to succeed in the emerging rap scene here, a unique sound is necessary. Both Seth Sentry and Remi are artists who have achieved this, and in July they showed the ANU Bar how they are reaping the rewards of Australia’s rap culture.

Although Sentry’s smooth, sample-based production contrasts with Remi’s darker and percussion-driven instrumentation, both artists shine through their sublime lyricism. It’s a joy to see creative wordplay fully utilized in Australian hip hop – al-

though giants like the Hilltop Hoods or Bliss n Eso excel at making uplifting festival anthems, they are liable to criminally neglect the importance of a tangible narrative. Indeed, both Seth Sentry and Remi’s willingness to write imaginatively allows them to show off their other shared characteristic: a fantastic personality.

Both rappers bounced around the stage with such enthusiasm and warm audience interaction that it took the chill out of a cold Canberra night.

Twenty-four hours after playing the spacious Enmore theatre in Sydney, the duo made the most of the snug confines of the ANU Bar. There were various call-and-return choruses, obligatory crowd surfing, and a peculiar moment where Seth ‘Moses’ Sentry parted the audience like the Red Sea in order to retrieve two beers from the back of the room. However, all of these antics played second

fiddle to the remarkable showing of musicianship from both artists.

After emerging to the introduction of Prince’s ‘Let’s Go Crazy’, Remi’s distinctive stop-start flow became mesmerising. His go-to lyrical feature is the trusty simile, which he uses incessantly (ten times in his moving single ‘Livin’, to be exact), but the Melbourne-via-Canberra rapper’s ability to convey the pain of addiction and depression with eloquence is second to none in Australia. His sophomore album, Divas and Demons, promises to be one of the most exciting releases of the year.

There were no surprises in the headline show; at a Seth Sentry concert, you get what you pay for. He could still be legitimately categorized as a novelty rapper – his biggest songs have concerned his obsessions with shitty cafés and hoverboards – how-

ever the moments when Sentry dives into his deeper catalogue are best indicative of his expertise. Even his least impressive songs, such as the messy ‘1969’ and the aimless ‘Dumb’, gain extra life when paired with the competent DJ Sizzle and a live drummer.

Hip hop has come a long way from the grimy streets of Queensbridge 30 years ago. However, the essence is still the same: MCs rap with passion and verbosity and things they care about. Whether it be a focus on hoverboards, Sentry’s estranged father on ‘Violin’, or systematic racism on Remi’s ‘Ode to Ignorance’, the pair are icons for the true pursuit of loyalty to a great genre. Judging by the smiling faces at ANU Bar, this loyalty is more than appreciated.

On the Canberra Scene Morgan de Whip One of the great joys of living in Canberra during the winter months is that it gets quite cold at times. Although many see this as appealing as a sober audience with Pauline Hanson, this essentially means that there is plenty of time to spend indoors, whether that is rugging up at home watching repeats of Skippy on GEM with a herbal tea and tissues, going to see the latest Marvel or Lars Von Trier film, or indulging in the latest offering from the mostly wonderful world of local theatre.

It isn’t hard to be impressed by the attention given to theatre in Canberra. Taking a walk through Civic or Acton alone will confirm as much, where there are no less than four theatres (Canberra Theatre Centre, ANU Arts Centre, The Street Theatre and the REP) offering shows for the young, old and everyone inbetween. Additionally, the existence of Teatro’s Vivaldi on our very own green campus means that you can live the dream of tucking into arancini whilst watching the latest theatrical offerings. Bucking the bogus idea of Canberra as the cultural equiva-

lent of sanitary solution, the sizeable crowds to these various shows in my experience have highlighted just how keen Canberrans are to see theatre in all its shapes and forms.

One thing that is great to see, given the trend of the major Sydbourne theatre companies focusing on the tried and tested classic pieces of the theatrical canon (to mixed results it’s got to be said), is the zeal of Canberra’s theatre scene to put on new works.

A special shout-out has to go to The Street, purveyors of all kinds of weird and interesting pieces often devised by locals ala Pigman’s Lament and The Chain Bridge. To be sure, there will always be your Mary Poppins’, Hamlets and Threepenny Operas that roll into town and are deservedly swallowed up by the public, but Canberra still manages to strike a neat balance between the old and the new, the lavish and the intimate. That is not to say that other cities around Australia don’t offer this, but they notably also do so with a much larger population than the bush/farm/campus capital.

Musicals appear to tap into a particularly special part of Canberra’s cultural heart, with a multitude of song-and-dancies a constant source of entertainment from Gunghalin to, ahem, Queanbeyan (they count people…) It is always impressive to see the skill and panache that the so-called amateur companies put into shows that defy their budgetary restrictions, whilst retaining the DIY charm that bigger productions often lack - casts in all shapes, colours and sizes and curiously fun directorial choices - being the ones that spring to mind. Closest to home, the Interhall production of Sweeney Todd promises to be a bloody good (and minimally controversial) night out at the theatre, just going to show yet again, the passion and drive within the student community to put on memorable stage works. This is why the continued existence of the Arts Centre is fundamental to the scene, as it nourishes and provides an outlet for student and local achievement. A campus without it would feel hollow - missing a key facet of the university student experience.

Of course, the relationship between watching theatre and being a student is often similar to that between W.W.E. and reality - they do not always go hand-in-hand (we students is poor if ya didn’t know, guvna) - but luckily concession ticketing is available at most box offices. Plus, if you reckon you wear black better than Cash, theatres around the place are always looking for ushers with the reward of seeing the whole show for scratch. Additionally, joining clubs such as the fabulously non-allergen N.U.T.S (the student-run theatre group on campus) and theatre-going groups on Meetup.com is a great way to see shows at reduced prices and to meet fellow lovers of the theatre. You don’t even have to audition.

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

Dendy Film Reviews Love and Friendship

This period drama, directed by Whit Stillman and based on Jane Austen’s epistolary novel Lady Susan, is an entertaining watch. With a strong cast and clever plot, the film is sure to make you laugh. Kate Beckinsale commands the leading role as Lady Susan Vernon, a recent widow who is looking for a suitable husband for her daughter Frederica (Morfydd Clark), and herself too – of course. The story begins with Lady Susan taking up residence at her in-law’s estate in the country. The plot is somewhat more racy and scandalous than one would normally associate with an Austen novel ,which makes it all the more intriguing, witty and likeable.

Another charming aspect of the film is its beautiful costuming and scenery. Elaborate hairstyles and intricately woven gowns, indicative of Austen period pieces, do not disappoint. These clothes are also perfectly placed in an idyllic backdrop of beautiful decor and landscape.

Demolition is a strange and compelling film, misleadingly described

by Wikipedia as a romantic comedy.

Davis (Jake Gyllenhaal) is an investment banker whose wife dies in a horrific car accident. On the day of her death, Davis attempts to purchase a packet of M&M’s from the hospital vending machine, only for the machine to steal his money. Dealing with the numbness he feels towards his wife’s passing, Davis begins baring his soul in a complaint letter to Karen (Naomi Watts), a customer service manager at the vending machine firm. They continue to exchange letters and phone calls until they begin stalking one another and meet. Thus begins an intense relationship as they bond over their emotional anxieties of love, adulthood and identity, including Davis’ loss, and Karen’s inability to be a mother.

This contrived premise is as strange to watch as it sounds on paper - it sets the stage for a film that is often uncomfortable for the viewer. Far from a criticism, this is one of the film’s greatest strengths. From the early stages, it is clear that you are not watching rational characters, and every action, and the possible conclusion, is hard to see coming. Is Davis’ behaviour part of a bigger downward spiral than grief? What will become of Karen’s son?

emotional impact it strives for. A less generous reading of the unpredictability of the film can just as easily be attributed to vague scripting, poor scene direction, and poor characterisation. One is left with a film that is an extended meditation on grief and emotional trauma, which makes for great conversation on the walk home, but is not wholly satisfying.

THE BFG

Spielberg manages to bring to life these ideas brilliantly with his typically stunning visuals. Nonetheless, the story revolves around the two central characters, meaning that the film’s success hinges on their performances. Sadly, both Mark Rylance as the BFG and Ruby Barnhill as Sophie are underwhelming. Sophie in particular is not the petulant-yet-likeable character of the book and instead is irritating and unappealing. However, Rylance and Barnhill’s performances improve as the film goes on, and so does the film in general. The first half of the movie seems unable to find its rhythm, as if Spielberg can’t quite figure out the quirky charm of the novel. Fortunately, the second half of the movie becomes quite an

reviewed by Jennifer McRae

Demolition reviewed by Rob Bower

reviewed by Zac Rayson

The BFG was always going to be a gamble to make. On one hand, it’s a charming story full of Roald Dahl’s characteristically imaginative ideas – such as the BFG’s speech habits, his hilarious food and drink, and the catching and sharing of dreams.

For anyone who enjoys a good Austen romance, Love and Friendship is the perfect way to fill an afternoon with wit, finery and the drama of finding a husband.

Impressively, the film’s script manages to tie many unanswered questions, loose ends, and red-herrings together, in a way that both makes perfect sense but is wholly unexpected.

However, whilst admirably acted, competently shot, and occasionally funny, the film never quite has the

enjoyable experience as we are deftly led from hilarity to moments of great emotional gravity. Much of this is due to the introduction of new characters, in particular Penelope Wilton who impresses as the Queen. Overall, if you can make it through the disappointment of the first half, the BFG rewards you with a brilliant and nostalgic second half.

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Batman: The killing Joke reviewed by Alex Johnston

What’s more terrifying than a psychopathic clown?

A psychopathic clown you care about.

“Fresh” off of one of the greatest cartoon series ever in Batman: The An-

imated Series, Kevin Conroy, Luke StairSkywalker himself, Mark Hamill and Tara Strong, reprise their iconic roles as the Dark Knight, the Joker and Batgirl respectively in WB Animation’s Batman: The Killing Joke.

Based on the graphic novel of the same name, TKJ is an intense, nuanced portrayal of madness and humanity that has a minor number of issues relating to story and animation quality.

The film contains two stories that could have been better interwoven; the first featuring Batgirl and the second starring the Joker. Hamill steals the show, completely losing himself in the twisted mania of his charac-

ARTS & REVIEWS

ter. It is just a shame that the animation quality is not up to the standard of the film’s impressive voice-cast.

Sometimes the jumpy and simplistic style works to the film’s benefit, but other times it has a distinct “made on a dollar and a prayer” feel that works against it. There are also times when character actions (especially Batman - the hell??!) feels forced and unnatural. The film, however, does a good job of balancing the two opposing itones found in it’s title - that of twisted violence and even-more-twisted humour.

Star Trek Competition Winner

Answering ‘What can Star Trek teach us?’

Katherine Prouting

Star Trek as a television show has had a great impact on two generations of my family. As a child, I believe being exposed to Star Trek Voyager made me the science fiction nerd I am.

Consequently, I told my mother I would grow up to be Captain Catherine Janeway - maybe I saw much of myself in her, or maybe I enjoyed the fact we shared the same name - either way, Star Trek has been a constant force throughout my life.

When Star Trek: The Original Series came out in the late 60s my mother and her two sisters were entranced.

In fact my aunt, the middle sister, is still a big Trekkie to this day. For them there finally was a TV show that featured an East Asian actor

in a prominent position. My mother and her sisters are what they like to call ABC (Australian Born Chinese); their nationality is Australian and their ethnicity is Chinese. For them seeing George Takei play Hikara Sulu was magical. Though they, and their father, had all been born in Australia, Australia had not been hospitable to them. Takei lived for a period of time in a Japanese Internment Camp in WWII in the USA. My ancestors had cards exempting them from the dictation test as brought upon by the White Australia policy. Star Trek demonstrated a post-racial world, however, it used complex plot lines that dealt with discrimination in a myriad of forms. Thus Star Trek represented a utopia in a period of

time when the Iron Curtain was still in place, when Civil Rights in the US had just been legislated, and the quest to put man on the moon was edging nearer.

Star Trek was, and continues to be, a pivotal voice for change.

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

Sonder Sonder is defined as the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness. In a series of interviews, Arts student, Georgia Leak, aims to explore the lives of the colourful characters that call the ANU home.

Interview with Kenneth Lampl Georgia Leak

I knew if being welcomed by a piano rendition of Ray Charles’ Georgia on My Mind was anything to go by, I was about to have an interesting chat. In just shy of an hour, I had been sung to, had some conventional views challenged, and, in the end, there was one thing I was sure of — the School of Music is in for one hell of a shake up!

I am talking about my interview with new Music School Education Committee Chairman and Composition Convenor, Kenneth Lampl.

Kenneth has a CV that would rival anyone’s. From undertaking composition studies with John Williams - the man responsible for the Star Wars, Harry Potter and Jaws soundtracks — to winning Student Academy and Emmy Awards, and even being a part of the team that scored the first two Pokémon movies, this man has done it all! A self-professed chaser of life’s “aha moments”, Kenneth’s long-standing journey of self-discovery has now carried him to the ANU, where he sees great opportunity in the School of Music.

“The opportunity that exists at the ANU is once in a lifetime”, said Kenneth fervently. “It’s so much more than just building a new music department — it’s the opportunity to completely revolutionise music education.” Having had such a multifaceted musical education that began through self-teaching, it could be argued that there is no one better to help facilitate transformation of the school than Kenneth. “What we’re creating here is a broad based music education where students can specialise in anything from classical to electronic music, and pursue careers from songwriting to performance or even music production. It’s a fully integrated musical training offered nowhere else in the world. There’s an opportunity to rebuild something that’s really new, and that’s why I’m here.”

What struck me about Kenneth was not his many accomplishments or his vision for the School, but rather, the ease with which he so effectively challenged conventional wisdom and espoused his own authentic beliefs. As someone wishing to pursue a somewhat left-of-field-career in editing and publishing, I’ve been told more times than I can count that soidisant “backup plans” are essential.

However, Kenneth couldn’t disagree more. “You know what?” he confided, “this may sound anti-academic but I don’t believe in the ‘backup plan’.”

Immediately, my thoughts raced; no backup plan — my dad would have a coronary! “In fact,” he continued, “something you’ll find true is that the only place you’re competitive is in what you love. That’s because your backup is somebody else’s passion. If both of you end up going for that job, the person who’s passionate always gets it. You can’t be competitive in your backup.”

With a career in which, largely, one’s hard work can be unravelled by public criticism, I wondered how Kenneth failed to grow cynical towards the industry. “I think it’s always about telling yourself the truth. It’s about listening to your environment, critiquing yourself and thinking, ‘is this critique valid?’” he explained. “Just because someone says it is, doesn’t mean it’s true. But even if the critics are correct, it’s not a big deal; it’s about having strength in your own conviction as well as self-critical ability.”

On that note, we realised that our hour together had flown by. Kenneth hadn’t just answered my questions but provoked my curiosity to ask more. I left the School wondering if there was some kind of way I could replicate his unique mix of passion and enthusiasm in my work… and if the School would know what had hit them!

Where are you from?

Mia Stone It’s that question again - the waited response to which is already so loaded with assumptions. I’ve been grappling with the formula for some time now. How do you know where you are from? Even for those to whom the answer must come naturally - the place where they were born, grew up, went to school - the precise terminology often depends on the context. In a foreign country they might be Australian, in the stands of a State of Origin Football match they might be a New South Welshman, at a cousin’s wedding they are a Sydney-sider. But for others like myself, who grew up always “on the move”, the uncertainty is compounded.

Do you “come from” the first or last placed you lived? Given that my answer to both is Sydney, it might seem that this is my “home”.

Yet, I’ve spent less than two of my almost twenty years there, and I can’t say I feel any special attachment. Perhaps “home” is the place where you spend the most time as a child? Notwithstanding the ambiguities of defining “childhood”, are you no longer a child, for the purposes of origin, once you reach your teens, or even tweens? Looking to childhood to define home, in my case, leaves me tied between Ipswich and Cairns.

Often it seems that where one is “from” is tied to one’s ancestral roots, the place your parents grew up, or where the majority of your relatives live. I’ve never understood how you could choose between sides of the family though, or lay claim to a place you’ve only ever frequented for summer holidays. Perhaps your origin is defined by a place that changed you in someway, or helped you figure out who you are now - but I don’t know how you could ever pin that down to one place. In any case, if that were the defining characteristic, my year as an expat in Indonesia at age 13 would have to be a contender, yet I’m certainly not Indonesian.

Could it be the place one feels they most belong to? To that, my answer would be Canberra. Coming to Canberra for University was, for once, a move I chose to make, and for this reason, I feel a sense of ownership over my experiences here that other homes have lacked. I’m sure though, I would get strange looks if I told people I was from Canberra, “what, so you’re a townie?” “No”, I would answer, as the year I spent here in preschool doesn’t really authorise me to make such claims.

For a long time, trying to figure out where I was “from” caused me some anxiety. After all, it’s the thing everyone wants to know -

right after your name - as though the answer might fill in all the gaps.

It appears central to every opening conversation. Some people wear it proudly like a badge; for others it bonds them with absolute strangers.

To be sure my childhood travels brought their own quirks.

They shaped my sense of time in a way I often forget is rather peculiar.

When learning about “space-time” in high school physics, the concept seemed entirely natural. For me, time and place have always been fused. Time is recalled not as “back when I was six” or “back when I was in grade three” but rather, “back when we lived in Armidale”’, or Maryborough, or Adelaide, or wherever it happened to be. If the need arose to subdivide further, I might refer to the house we lived in – simply moving towns often proved insufficient for my wander-lusting father who, bewildered relatives speculate, may well be a spy. Referring to my time in Armidale I might say, “back when we lived in the church-house near the school”. Our rental being an old church converted into a house some years ago, which still retained a few “feature” stained glass windows and a bible I once found in my built-inwardrobe. Or, recalling a later period, “back when we lived in the ‘big’ house on the hill”. In Cairns - where we went through seven residences in just three years - I might reminisce about ‘Bentley Park’ or the ‘Minnie Street days beside the tourist railway’.

This system of recording and observing the passage of time is so ingrained in me, that it seems incomprehensible that it could be done any other way. How do others keep track of time? I wonder whether our constant travelling, might too have affected my perception of the length of time. When I recall all the places I’ve been, childhood seems to stretch on forever, though the time spent in any one place is remembered as passing by in a flash.

As the world globalises we are becoming more obsessed than ever with finding out where people are from. Perhaps this is because it is seen as a constant; the one thing that can’t be altered in a changing world. Whether you get a new passport, or live somewhere else for the next fifty years, your origin can not be escaped regardless of how many times you may change your mind.

For me at least my “from” truly is “the road”. And I’ve come to believe that it doesn’t really matter all that much anyways. Surely, where we are, or where we’re going, are at least, just as interesting. Origins can be important, but so too are journeys.

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LIFE & STYLE

Why Copenhagen should be on your bucket list (if it isn’t already) Lachlan Arthur

Attending the IARU Global Summer Program on the Interdisciplinary Aspects of Healthy Ageing at the University of Copenhagen meant that I was lucky enough to swap the Canberra winter for the Danish summer throughout July. Participating in one of the Global Summer Programs at any of the IARU partner institutions is something I would recommend to any ANU student if they get the chance. Not only is it a perfect way to travel with financial support from the University, it’s an opportunity to experience life at some of the world’s top universities without committing to a whole semester abroad. The courses offer the opportunity to study something you are passionate about, or perhaps a subject you are interested in, but can’t quite squeeze into your degree at ANU.

you the opportunity to see many of the city’s sites from the water.

Central Copenhagen is a hive of activity. Being a royal city with a rich history, palaces and churches are some of the top tourist attractions.

hagen. Tivoli also hosts big name concerts regularly (Pharrell was on while I was there), as well as smaller acts almost every night.

On an island just to the east of the city centre is Freetown Christiania,

Now that you’re undoubtedly sold on visiting the Danish capital, either for one of the IARU Global Summer Programs, a semester abroad or a holiday, here my top three tips for visitors in Copenhagen: One: Come prepared to spend money.

Copenhagen is by no means a cheap destination, especially when it comes to accommodation. On the up side, groceries are about the same price, if not cheaper than in Australia, so it can be affordable in the food department.

The Global Summer Programs also offer the chance to mix with some really interesting characters. In my tight-knit cohort of 14 students, I was joined by fellow undergrads from Cambridge, Oxford and the National University of Singapore; master’s students from Peking, Copenhagen, Tokyo and Helsinki, and even a 58 yearold psychiatrist from Mexico City.

It was with this diverse group that I tackled research issues associated with the world’s ageing population, but also - perhaps more importantly - discovered the city of Copenhagen.

The Danes are consistently ranked as the happiest people on Earth, and after a month in the Danish capital it isn’t hard to see why. Having grown up in South Australia, Copenhagen to me, is like Adelaide... if it were filled with hipsters and 17th century architecture. It won’t blow you away with tourist landmarks like London or Rome, but if you are willing to explore, there are some amazing sites to see. Perhaps the best place to start in Copenhagen is the classic postcard spot, Nyhavn. This famous canal lined by restaurants with brightly coloured facades is the most “touristy” place in Copenhagen but is a must visit to experience the crowds of people that flock there to hang their legs into the canal, enjoy live concerts and watch the boats come or go. Hopping on a canal tour at Nyhavn also gives

of Frederiksberg is Vesterbro, where the Carlsberg brewery sits. During the summer, the brewery’s courtyard is converted into an outdoor bar and restaurant every Friday. Carlsberg Fridays are a Copenhagen institution, with an atmosphere that can’t be matched anywhere else in the city, making it the place to be on Friday nights.

Two: Get your hands on a bike. Copenhagen doesn’t have fantastic public transport – it is expensive and slow. The city does have incredible bike lanes throughout, however, and bikes are available to buy or rent for cheap. Cycling is by far the best way to explore the city.

Climbing to the top of the Church of Our Saviour or Christiansborg Palace provides the best views of the city, while visiting Amalienborg Palace - the Royal winter residence - offers the opportunity to see the changing of the guard at noon every day.

Strøget is the main shopping street in Copenhagen, and is a must-visit, even if it is only to purchase some of Denmark’s finest export from its official LEGO store. At the western end of Strøget you will find Tivoli Gardens, the second-oldest amusement park in the world. Walking into Tivoli feels like entering Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory; it really is an old-school theme park, with rollercoasters that are over 100 years old, alongside some of the fanciest restaurants in Copen-

a self-proclaimed autonomous neighbourhood that is perhaps most famous for its cannabis trade. The sale of marijuana in Christiania was tolerated by Danish authorities until 2004 and as a result the area is subject to regular police raids. However, take a walk down the famed “Pusher Street” to find marijuana being sold freely from market stalls by shady-looking sellers. There are free tours of the area every day at 3pm and music festivals are held in Christiania regularly. On the westside of Copenhagen is the Frederiksberg area which is home to, in my opinion, the most beautiful place in the city, Frederiksberg Have/ Gardens - home to an enormous royal park, Frederiksberg Palace and the Copenhagen Zoo. Just further south

Three: Eat and drink where the locals do. Wherever you go in Copenhagen, one thing you can guarantee is that there will be awesome food and drink – but be prepared to pay an equivalent price. If you want the best (and cheapest) option, however, go to where is popular. On the top of your list should be to try a smørrebrød (traditional open sandwich), jordbærkage (traditional summer strawberry cake) and the local Carlsberg and Tuborg beers. In terms of destinations, Torvehallerne (described as a supermarket, but not a supermarket) is a food hall in the centre of Copenhagen that will provide you with everything you could ever need.

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

Deeply Divisive My best friend once told me that I was a shit guy, but good for humanity - I have a big enough ego and a good enough dirty look that I had to agree with her. So, consider this column a space where I can air my grievances, confront cultural cringes and try to tackle issues - all at once. I want to instigate discussion and tear friendships apart. Well, maybe not… but you get the idea.

Thanks for joining me.

Am I Man Enough?

Liam Fitzpatrick

I’m pretty fucking gay.

Name the stereotype I probably fulfill it.

I have a slight lisp, would always be found in the theatre and love Meryl Streep. I’ve also always had more female than male friends.

I prefer woman company and am constantly inspired by the women around me. Women were the solace in my times of need and continue to be my fundamental support network.

I recently realised that I didn’t simply respect and adore women - I needed them.

I realised that I’m deeply unsettled around straight men.

I view them not with disdain, but with discomfort and apprehension.

Straight men were the ones who called me ‘faggot’ throughout high school and the ones who made gagging noises whenever I spoke in class. Straight men were the teachers who told me “just because you have feelings for boys, doesn’t mean you’re gay.” Straight men were the chefs at the café who fired me for having issue with the joke; “Which fag escaped the fire first, the top or the bottom?

The bottom of course, because he already had his shit packed.”

All of this came to me on the Thursday night of Bush Week at college’s ‘Bucks and Hens Night’.

The tradition goes that a buck and hen are chosen from 3rd year, then, the boys and girls are separated and sent on their respective pub crawls before we meet for the wedding at Dolce nightclub.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no qualms with the night, nor the tradition.

I was, however, shaken by how unsettled I felt around only men.

I felt I couldn’t sing the chants, laugh too loud or slap the arses of the men being ‘sinned’ for fear of being labelled too gay or creepy.

I felt like I didn’t belong.

Was that my fault? One gay man

told me it wasn’t their job to include me, that it was my responsibility to involve myself and to just “bite the bullet”. Another agreed with me, reminding me of the ‘Boys and Bowls’ event where ‘the boys’ sat at one table with five gay men sitting at a table over.

Was there anyone making space for us? Where were the allies?

I feel like despite the ongoing discussion on intersectionality, diversity and inclusivity has fallen on deaf ears. Ears deaf not because of a calculated choice, but by virtue of straight male privilege, which has artificially inflated and prioritised their sense of selves for millennia.

I feel like straight men don’t listen.

These men weren’t being malicious, nor was I being precious.

There is, however, a difference between accepting diverse sexuality and being actively inclusive of them. And from what I’ve seen, most straight men don’t understand that.

I’m a middle class, gay, white, man. For a queer person, I am incredibly privileged. I can’t even imagine the exclusion and apprehension queer women, the trans community or queer POC would have felt on this night. Imagine a genderqueer person being made to follow the Bucks party despite feeling and knowing they

belonged at the Hens?

On Thursday, I couldn’t stop feeling ashamed for not enjoying myself.

Now, I feel pain. Pain from twenty years of never feeling ‘man’ enough.

Maybe this article is me taking a stand.

Or maybe, this article represents what the queer community have done for decades: taking a stand, women raising their firsts in solidarity, whilst straight men dictate the newest condition on what it means to be a man without changing any of their own behaviour.

Because why would they? They’ve always gotten their way.

Until they listen, until they care, until they change: I am man enough.

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ENVIRONMENT

Buzz Kill: The bees are dying but you can save them Lulu Cathro “If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe, then man would have only four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man.” – Albert Einstein.

The bee crisis has been a popularly discussed environmental issue for some time now, yet not much is being done to address it. Honeybees are widely considered to be bio-indicators of environmental pollution, and with their rapid disappearance in the past century, scientists and apiculturists (beekeepers) are scrambling for answers.

cussed is a condition known as Colony Collapse Disorder, CCD, in which a high proportion of the worker bees from a colony disappear - abandoning their food source, nurse bees and their queen. Though the exact cause of CCD is unknown, however, there are many theories attempting to explain it. One popular theory suggests that the pesticides being used on crops pollinated by bees is contributing to CCD. One would think a simple solution is to limit the use of pesticides, or to develop pesticides that wouldn’t affect bees. However, there is a deadly chink in the chain.

Marla Spivak, an Apiculture professor from University of Minnesota, has discovered that there has been a 300% worldwide increase in the crop production requiring bee pollination over the last 50 years. Bee populations, however, have more than halved since World War 2.

In America, the Environmental Protection Agency does not coordinate research into bee-harming pesticides; rather, the pesticides manufacturers do the research. The agency deciding whether or not pesticides are safe for our environment is therefore relying on data from the very companies that would benefit most from their use.

Scientists have put forward a number of possible causes and contributing factors for this mass bee disappearance. One of the most widely dis-

Luckily in Australia, our honeybee population is a lot healthier. If, however, something negative were to happen it could have a significant effect

on our economy. Australia is a major agricultural exporter and its economic growth is significantly affected by the agricultural sector. In these circumstances, the fact that 65% of Australia’s agriculture is dependent on honeybee pollination should turn a few heads.

The Varroa mite is another likely cause of Colony Collapse Disorder and is widely considered to be nature’s single greatest threat to the world’s apiculture. These mites have been a major issue in America, and Australia has been relatively unaffected, until very recently. A potential biosecurity crisis has unfolded in Townsville upon the discovery of the mites in an Asian honey beehive. In response, the transport of beehives, beekeeping equipment and bee products have been restricted by Biosecurity Queensland. The Australian Department of Agriculture has since stated, “If the Varroa mite were to become established in Australia, our healthy population of feral honey bees, and the pollination services they provide, could be reduced by 90100 per cent.”

While bees are becoming more and more vulnerable, there are things we can do to support their continued survival. You don’t have to be a beekeeper, or even know anything about them. Some things we can do include: • Plant ‘bee-friendly’ flowers in your garden e.g. lilacs, sunflowers and lavender • Avoid using chemicals and pesticides to treat your garden and lawn • Buy organic local food from farmers’ markets To support Australia’s apiculture industry, buy local raw honey such as Canberra Urban Honey, sold at a number of locations around Canberra including the Food Co-op and Choku Bai Jo. These are simple things that can have a meaningful impact on the future of Australian bees.

1 in 3 mouthfuls of food is bee pollinated. With a third of our food source at risk, it is clear that this issue we can no longer ignore.

Plastic-free Food: reducing plastic in grocery shopping Morgan Alexander On July 1 of this year, a bill will be passed into law banning the production, distribution and use of disposable plastic shopping bags in Morocco. This is just one recent example of a region taking these measures to reduce plastic production and consumption; France, China, California, and the Australian Capital Territory have all similarly banned the thin polyethylene-based bags widely used in grocery stores.

These plastic bags, and similar products including zip-seal style bags ubiquitous in most packed student lunches, are an increasingly contentious item in conversations about environmental issues. Some suggest banning plastic bags does not reach the heart of the issue at hand—that is, creating meaningful change in a culture that has come to rely on unsustainable practices and products like disposability and plastic.

In reality, it is now easier to spend a day without technology than without plastic. Plastic has invaded an astonishingly large and diverse range of the products in our daily lives: shampoo bottles and makeup products; water bottles and drinking straws; seatbelts and computers; even clothing, in the form of polyester. As the issue of plastic bags suggests, one of the most visible places plastic appears is in commercial grocery stores.

While reusable shopping bags are now a widely distributed alternative, plastic remains pervasive in most mainstream food shops.

Most obviously, processed, frozen, or pre-made food is packaged in plastic; however, fresh produce is also widely distributed in plastic nets, bags or containers. Once you begin to look, the amount of plastic you discover in a grocery store is shocking.

Given the abundance of the

product, change may seem daunting.

The average consumer, however, can influence a shift in general consumer behaviour by taking eco-conscious steps, changing their habits, and reducing their negative environmental impacts. When it comes to grocery shopping, cutting out plastic is not only relatively easy, but may have additional benefits.

Escaping from mainstream grocery stores to local farmers’ markets is one easy step. Here, produce supports local industry, is often more sustainable and is almost entirely plastic-free. Moreover, purchasing the fresh and unpackaged food that is available at these markets not only reduces plastic, but is often nutritionally healthier for us than processed and prepared foods.

This is not to say you must abandon packaged foods or plastic.

Both options have merit, yet reduc-

ing consumption of these products will benefit both you and the environment. On a large scale, reduced consumption can decrease demand and lead to positive environmental change. Other options include, when buying processed foods, purchasing only those which come in glass or metal packaging, as these materials are more recyclable. Where plastic is unavoidable, reuse it where able and eventually recycle.

At home, try storing food in re-used glass jars, wrapping leftovers or lunch items in cloth or baking paper and care responsibly for any plastic containers so they last as long as possible. Together, these habits can contribute to positive environmental change.

Eat, live and shop responsibly!

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

Thermophilic Composting The Ecological “Mr. Fusion” Jono Crane

Do you remember the final scene in ‘Back to the Future’ where Doc returns to Marty McFly’s sleepy suburban house his DeLorean time machine? This time, Doc arrives from the future; instead of waiting for a lightning strike or acquiring weapons-grade plutonium to generate the 1.21 gigawatts of power required to time travel, he takes a banana peel and a can of beer from the garbage.

Dropping the banana peel, pouring the leftover beer and finally throwing the can itself into the small “Mr. Fusion” device mounted on the back of the time machine is all that is required to power Doc’s DeLorean.

In the film, the intrepid time travelers flew back to the year 2015, where the Mr. Fusion technology apparently came from. Well, it is now 2016 and you might feel a bit disappointed that you can’t buy your own Mr. Fusion from Aldi or JB Hi-Fi. Don’t despair—a similarly miraculous technology is within everybody’s reach. It is called thermophilic composting.

Thermophilic composting is the process of using thermophilic (heat-loving) bacteria to transform food scraps and other organic “waste” into sanitised plant fertilizer, or compost. The Mr. Fusion part is you can use literally any organic matter (e.g. banana peels and left-over beer) to produce energy (in the form of heat) and rich plant fertiliser that you can use to grow food.

Ok, so you cannot chuck in the empty beer can, but there is a consolation: the organic matter you use can be anything that has recently been living. This opens up some amazing

(the carbon) to get the magic 30:1 ratio. Mix your carbon and your nitrogen together in a pile. Shred the copies of Woroni as you mix to leave plenty of air pockets (oxygen) and then wait for it to rain (water).

recycling possibilities. For instance, the roadkill on Canberra’s freeways: instead of leaving them fester, attracting disease or scavengers that could cause further road hazards, compost can use them to heat a home or grow salad greens.

Thermophilic composting can transform chicken, sheep and horse manure into energy and compost, but why stop there? Our own human waste—human manure, or “humanure”—can be rendered safe to use on food-producing plants via this miraculous process. We can even generate hot water for washing our hands afterward.

How much does one of these Mr. Fusion/Mr. Compost contraptions cost?

The great news is if you are reading this issue of Woroni, you almost certainly can afford one! Thermophilic composting only requires four ingredients, most of which are probably around your home. The magic four

ingredients are carbon, nitrogen, oxygen and water.

Carbon is anything that was recently living and is ‘brown’ and ‘dry’: sawdust, autumn leaves, newspaper (yes, you can compost this issue of Woroni when you’re done reading it).

Nitrogen is anything that was recently living and is ‘green’ and ‘wet’: green leaves and grass clippings, vegetable scraps, roadkill, dog poo, and so on.

Oxygen is the stuff you’re breathing and water falls from the sky.

So if you have this issue of Woroni, a salad sandwich, you are sitting outside and it is raining, you have all four ingredients and are ready to start!

As Doc demonstrated with his nonchalant refueling of the DeLorean, you do not have to be a rocket scientist to make this work. You need about 30 bits of carbon for every one bit of nitrogen. For instance, if you have a lot of salad sandwiches that need composting (the nitrogen), you should add plenty of copies of Woroni

The compost produced in the photo above followed exactly the same process. We started with the vegetable and meat scraps from the 2014 Students of Sustainability conference. These were combined with what we collected from the four compost toilets installed at the Aboriginal Tent Embassy where the 300 conference participants were camping.

Within one week, the compost’s core temperature had reached 72°C; this, even with the frosty outdoor temperatures of a typical Canberra winter — that’s some hot shit!

72°C is on the high end of the scale and might not be achievable in less than ideal conditions; however, it is totally within even an amateur composters ability to achieve sustained temperatures of 55°C and above.

One hour of exposure to these temperatures will kill all human-harmful pathogens, viruses and bacteria. (If you want to learn more, and perhaps get your hands dirty, check out Joe Jenkins’ fabulous “Humanure Handbook.” It is available online as a free PDF.) So in 2016 what’s better than a Mr. Fusion you can buy from JB Hi-Fi? An open source Mr. Compost!

Only question remains: if Doc turns up on your street in his DeLorean, when he gets out of the time machine and looks around will he say “Great Scott!!” or “Great Rot!!”

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SCIENCE

Drug Re-education My childhood drug education of “take drugs and you will die!” left me dangerously ill-equipped to navigate the drug-rich environment of Uni life. Certainly I am still no expert, but I’m hoping I can convey some more factual information about drugs and drugs policy that might help create a safer environment for everyone here at ANU.

MDMA Assisted Psychotherapy Andrew Martin

When Leo Zeff, a psychologist, first tried MDMA in 1977, he was so taken by its effects that he promptly postponed his impending retirement to explore its psychotherapeutic potential.

Before MDMA hit the mainstream as ecstasy and became illegal in 1985, Zeff had distributed MDMA to hundreds of therapists, who were utilising its effects in a range of applications: from couples counselling to treating addiction. Decades later, interest in the therapeutic potential of MDMA is re-emerging, most notably in a series of studies which are currently investigating the potential benefits of using MDMA-assisted psychotherapy to treat post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Traumatic events - such as rape, domestic violence, and war - instil terror and helplessness. Fear triggers a range of biological responses to help us survive when we are in danger, however, when we experience terror these responses become maladaptive and produce “lasting changes in physiological arousal, emotion, cognition, and memory” even after the danger has passed. PTSD sufferers experience a lower quality of life, with increased risks of suicide, disability, and other mental illness, and have difficulty maintaining healthy relationships.

In her seminal book, Trauma and Recovery, Judith Lewis Herman states, “Recovery unfolds in three stages. The central task of the first stage is the establishment of safety. The central task of the second stage is remembrance and mourning. The central focus of the third

stage is reconnection with ordinary life.”

Current treatments for PTSD (Prolonged Exposure/Cognitive Processing/EMDR) are mostly a variation on exposure therapy, in which the patient attempts to remember and process/reintegrate the traumatic event. If a patient tries to remember and mourn the traumatic event (Herman’s second stage) before the establishment of safety, however, (Herman’s first stage) this leads to the aggravation, rather than the alleviation, of a patient’s symptoms (hyperarousal/re-experiencing/ numbing). Traumatised individuals, especially those who have experienced interpersonal trauma, suffer severe damage to or lose their capacity for appropriate trust, and consequently, establishing safety and trust in the psychotherapeutic relationship can take years to achieve.

MDMA-assisted psychotherapy provides a potential shortcut to this process. The neurobiological effects of MDMA “decrease fear and defensiveness while increasing trust and empathy”. Under the effects of MDMA, the patient is suddenly able to trust and feel connected to their therapist, and to remember and mourn their traumatic experience without becoming overwhelmed or numbing.

As one study participant stated, “Under the influence of MDMA, I was able to talk about and work through these things without having that physiological reaction… it kind of rewires the brain back to baseline before the PTSD.”

It is important to stress that the potential benefits of MDMA-assisted psychotherapy are not purely pharmacological. The relational aspect of therapy remains critical.

As Herman states, “recovery can take place only within the context of relationships; it cannot occur in isolation. In her renewed connections with other people, the survivor recreates the psychological faculties that were damaged or deformed by the traumatic experience. These faculties include the basic capacities for trust, autonomy, initiative, competence, identity, and intimacy. Just as these capabilities are originally formed in relationships with other people, they must be reformed in such relationships.”

Our understanding of the soft science of psychology is still very much under development and the current tools available to psychiatry (psychiatric drugs/electroshock treatment etc.) are blunt instruments. Certainly MDMA is not a cure-all solution, however, early study results suggest it is safe (under controlled conditions)

and 83% of subjects, of which all of whom had not responded to several rounds of traditional treatment, no longer met the diagnostic criteria for PTSD after treatment. Further investigation seems warranted and is occurring in several countries including the United States. Despite this, the Australian government has rejected applications to begin clinical trials here.

Prominent psychedelic psychotherapist, Andrew Feldmar, makes the radical claim that all psychological disorders are essentially varieties of post-traumatic stress disorder, “Nobody suffers, nobody is crazy if they weren’t hurt”. Undoubtedly this is a very controversial statement, however, it does open the door to discussing what other conditions could also benefit from treatment with MDMA-assisted psychotherapy.

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

Using Green Fluorescent Protein to Visualise Cells: a Technology Review Mantian Zhu

Do you remember the episode about Sheldon’s goldfish - the fluorescent goldfish - in The Big Bang Theory? I always wondered how a goldfish could glow, and now I know it is due to a variant of Green Fluorescent Protein (GFP). Let’s talk about the history and development of GFP. In the early 1960s, Osamu Shimomura and his colleagues first isolated GFP from a jellyfish called Aequorea victoria. Since this protein could glow in jellyfish, scientists wondered if it could be used to make other creatures glow. In 1994, Martin Chalfie and his co-workers successfully expressed GFP in the sensory neurons of a roundworm. Later, Roger Tsien and his group created genetically modified variants of GFP, extending the fluorescence to emit in the entire visible spectrum and increasing its brightness and stability. So that’s why Sheldon’s goldfish could glow bright yellow on his bedside table.

So, how does GFP and its variants enable creatures to glow? The basic technique is to fuse the GFP gene

to the gene of the protein of interest, using the correct base pairs. Once GFP and the protein are synthesized together, the protein will be visible due to the fluorescence of GFP when excited by the right wavelength of light. This allows scientists to visualise the inner workings of living cells, by identifying the location and movement of the proteins of choice! Adrienne Hardham of the ANU Research School of Biology stated, “Because GFP-tagged proteins can be observed in living cells, GFP technologies have made a major contribution to our understanding of cellular processes.”

Fluorescing creatures like Sheldon’s fish have inherited genes of GFP and its variants, so that they are expressed in every one of their cells.

So, apart from creating luminous creatures, scientists also use GFP and its variants as valuable medical research tools. The ability to visualize dynamic intracellular processes allows GFP and its variants to be used as markers, biosensors or labels, to study the progression of Alzheimer’s disease in the brains of mice, the ef-

fect of Brucella vaccines, the protein dynamics in yeast, and much more.

Cancer is one of the most serious illnesses in the world. I was curious about the application of GFP and its variants in cancer research. If we can visualize the mechanisms of cancer cells, can we produce better ways to cure this disease? GFP and its variants enable scientists to visualize, in real time, the dynamics of cellular processes of cancer cells in living organisms. These processes include cell division, cell death and cell-cycle position. Cancer cells can also be observed as they spread to other sites in the body, and as they are treated with chemotherapy. The ability of scientists to understand the inner workings of cancer cells in living organisms is a vital for the development of treatments. Scientists are now able to evaluate the efficacy of therapeutic anticancer therapies due to the ability to observe cancer cells during treatment.

Another fantastic application of GFP and its variants is the labelling

of tumours so that, with fluorescent guidance, doctors can remove the tumours completely. One study published this year by Yano and his coworkers found a lower rate of cancer recurrence after fluorescence-guided surgery. Researchers performed a comparison experiment in two groups of mice to remove liver cancer with fluorescence-guided surgery and conventional bright-light surgery. The study found that fluorescence-guided surgery could help completely remove the spread of liver cancer, resulting in a much lower rate of recurrence 19% compared to 94%, 120 days after resection - and prolonged survival of the mice. In the future, cancer patients may greatly benefit from GFP.

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SPORT

2016 Eastern University Games Rebecca Jellie and Zac Piesse

Uni Games can mean many different things to many different students. For some it’s a chance to show off their sporting prowess, for others a chance to socialise, but one thing is central to the ethos of “Uni Games” - it’s the best four days of the year.

The 2016 University Games began with much promise for ANU, as plenty of our teams - Ultimate Frisbee, Mixed Touch, Men’s Football, Badminton and Squash - were made up of talented athletes and looking for Gold medal results.

Prior to this year’s University Games, students walking around campus would have seen many of the ANU teams training in preparation.

Whether it was in the Sports Halls or on Willows, Fellows, or South, hard training sessions took place numerous times per week. Practice matches also occurred for various teams against the University of Canberra, University of Western Sydney, and local opposition. With mixed results from these pre-games matches, hopes were high heading into that “one week” in July.

Wollongong played host for Eastern University Games this year. With pristine beaches and mountainous terrain overlooking many of the fields, it really was quite picturesque.

At the games, the results were mixed.

The Owls came in at 11th overall in the competition. Here is your sport by sport summary: INDIVIDUAL ACHIEVEMENTS Nick Richardson-Silver medal in Golf Doug Langdon-Bronze medal in Golf Aidan Parkes-Silver medal in Squash Jez Cheng-Bronze medal in Badminton OVERALL PLACINGS The AFL boys came 6th with Will Delchau scoring 25 goals in 6 matches to earn himself the best and fairest votes. Badminton came in at 2nd place with an excellent performance from Jez Cheng. The Soccer A team came in in 7th place, with Joshua Lagudah performing excellently over the week.

The Soccer B team followed them up in 11th place. Ben Jowett was best and fairest for the B team, and their 5-1 UTS defeat is definitely the something to be proud of. The women’s soccer came in at 11th with the B&F going to Millie Spyridpoulos. ANU’s Women’s futsal team had nothing negative to say about their best and fairest goalkeeper, Tessa Lavers. They came in at 5th and are very happy with their result. Nick Richardson was in the lead up until the last day of

competition in golf, getting overtaken by just one stroke! The golf boys came 4th. Our men’s and women’s hockey teams were headed up by David Carroll and Anna Christoff, who lead both teams to fifth place. In best and fairest, Georgia Barnes was the leader of the votes for the girls, despite missing almost every open goal she was offered. Callum Fryer did a cracking job of goalkeeping over the week and was awarded the men’s best & fairest. Congratulations to the silver medallist mixed touch team, almost scraping a win in the gold medal match. Men’s and women’s touch both came in in 7th place, with Ryan Allen taking out the B&F for the men’s team. The ANU women’s volleyball team were given a tough pool at the 2016 UniGames, and so came in at 7th with Alison Fong winning best and fairest on the court. Over at the Mixed Ultimate Disc, Matt Daly and Clare Barcham from the A team impressed their teammates with their solid performance, with both teams coming in at 9th place. The B team voted in Sachit Barooah & Ariel Ivanovici. Lawn bowls claimed the 9th spot on the ladder, with the shocking weather on some days no doubt causing some upset. Our Netball playing owls came in at 13th place, with Declan Pratt for mixed netball and Grace Templeton for women’s netball raking in the best & fairest points.

The men’s squash team claimed their bronze medal with style, with Aidan Parkes having an excellent week.

It was fantastic to see over 220 ANU students having fun at the Opening Ceremony, wearing team colours, and showing utter pride in our university. The Owls showed exemplary behaviour on all nights out, being at the venues until close in many circumstances, and being true socialites of the Games. Despite the sore heads in the morning from action packed nights at the Ivory, Harp and Mr. Crown, ANU continued to embrace the spirit of the Owl in all matches, despite how early in the morning they were.

Congratulations to all athletes that attended, especially to those teams and individuals that brought home some medals for the Owl’s. A massive thank you on behalf of all the students that attended this year’s Eastern Unigames goes out to ANU Sport for coordinating the week, and doing an excellent job of it.

Check out the ANU Sport UniGames Facebook page for information about Australian UniGames in Perth!

ANU students become quidditch world champions Danny Fox Quidditch is a mixed gender sport that is played with 3 chasers, 2 beaters, a keeper and a seeker on the field.

On July 23/24 of this year, over 2000 players and spectators flocked to Frankfurt, Germany, for the 3rd Quidditch World Cup. 21 teams from Europe, Britain, Asia, the Americas and Australia all turned up vying for gold. The US team entered the tournament as heavy favourites, having never lost a match and having never dropped a point in a grand final.

However, in a feat considered impossible by the quidditch community at

large, the Quidditch Australia Dropbears walked away with gold, having defeated the US team in the grand final 150*-130 (* denotes a snitch catch, worth 30 points). As someone who watches a lot of different sports – I would still say that this was the single most intense and amazing sporting match I have ever watched! The ANU Owls chaser and captain James Mortenson, and beater Lee Shu Ying, were instrumental in this grand final, handing the US their first ever defeat.

In the previous Quidditch World Cup in 2014 Australia walked away with

silver, again losing only to the American team. The competition this year though was even more tough with Australia’s path to the final requiring them to go through Germany, France and Canada. The Dropbears prevailed, however, winning each of these highly intense matches 150*20, 110*-60 and 90*-40.

The ANU Owls are having a very successful year in quidditch. In addition to our World Cup representatives, just one week before the World Cup, the ANU team walked away as champions of the local Midwinter

Cup tournament, and will be looking for gold again at the Asian Quidditch Cup on weekend of July 30/31.

Interested in becoming a Dropbear at the 2018 Quidditch World Cup? Start playing quidditch today! Join the ANU Quidditch Club Facebook group for training times, and feel welcome to come along! If you would like to follow the results of the Owls at the Asian Quidditch Club make sure to “like” our Facebook page at Australian National University Owls – Quidditch.

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

University community in shock after ANU Bar DJ plays non-techno track Tom Russell-Penny ANU Bar’s happy hour was unsettled by a terrible controversy last Thursday, after a resident DJ (who cannot be named for security purposes), opted to play a track involving guitars and drums. Whilst an investigation is underway at the present time, we can reveal that the track in question occurred around 5:15pm – the height of happy hour.

Eyewitness Ally Chen reported that the track “may have been Sticky Fingers or DMA’s … although those are the only two guitary bands I know so if it wasn’t them I wouldn’t have a clue”.

“There was a sudden and deafening silence amongst the people around

me,” Ally recalled, “once we realized what was actually happening we got out of there as quickly as possible”.

On Friday morning we took to Union Court, where the atmosphere was subdued and strangely quiet. One third year student stated: “I think we’re all still coming to terms with what happened yesterday evening. I know many of my friends were too distraught to leave their rooms this morning, but life goes on I suppose.”

can’t be greeted by two straight hours of repetitive bass drum thumping on a Thursday afternoon then what do I have to live for? Someone has to be held accountable”, said a first year law student wearing Nike Free Runs and a Ralph Lauren cap.

His friend, wearing a different colour Ralph Lauren cap, chimed in: “at one point I could actually hear what the person sitting across from me was saying, it was disgraceful”.

Amongst others, however, the pain had turned into anger:

In light of the scandal, ANU Bar and Woroni Radio have issued a joint press release:

“How could they let this happen? If I

“We are greatly disappointed that

such an incident has occurred and we promise to do everything in our power to ensure that such a gross breach of protocol does not happen again. To all the concerned students from Sydney’s eastern suburbs, we can, with the utmost certainty, guarantee that next Thursday will be wall to wall Boris Brejcha”.

News of the ANU Bar controversy has sent shockwaves through universities all over Australia. The hash tag ‘#istandwithANUbar’ has been created in order for fellow university students throughout the country to show solidarity with all those affected at ANU.

Turkey Apparently Not That Delightful Byron Knight Consumer Protection groups have recently mobilized a suit against Cadbury for false advertising. They claim that, contrary to Cadbury’s persistent use of phrase “Turkish Delight,” the nation is evidently not delightful.

The lawsuit comes following an attempted military coup in the Middle Eastern State, which occurred just last weekend. The coup left many analysts stunned. Many could not determine which side was worse: a man who wants to singlehandedly turn one of the only democracies in the region into a dictatorship, or a bunch of manifestly incompetent generals who think that the best way to protect democracy is to overthrow a democratically elected leader?

Keen to avoid court proceedings,

Cadbury has responded by offering a settlement. When pressed for comment the Head of Public Relations had this to say: “As part of settlement proceedings, we will be recalling our ‘Turkish Delight’ branded chocolates and replacing them with ‘Turkish Dismay’. Of course, this is not just an empty gesture… we will also be changing the recipe significantly.”

The new recipe will be released under the trade name “Turkish Dismay”.

The confectionary will be similar to chocolate bullets. Instead of a licorice filling, however, the center will be the expended shells of Kalashnikov rifles, lightly coated in the blood of dead dissidents.

As a purge against the internal forces that President of Turkey Erdogan believes to be disloyal to his government is being carried out (which at this juncture appears to be anyone except him and the sock puppet he talks to during the peaks of his megalomania), there appears only one clear winner. That winner is our very own Director of the Centre for Arab and Islamic Studies, Distinguished Professor Amin Saikal AM, whom during the first reports of the coup and the days immediately following, made a tidy profit reporting analyzing events on 24-hour news channels.

The Distinguished Professor had this to say: “Nothing subsidizes one’s income quite like a Middle Eastern coup! I

mean people at this point are sick of Syria. It’s the same picture every day!

Children getting barrel bombed can get repetitive. But Turkey! Boy this is dramatic – Australians actually vaguely know where that is… thanks to Halal Snack Packs and the ANZAC Day Mythos… they actually almost give a shit!”

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SATIRE

Food Industry Fraud Spices Things Up Pieter van Goor – ANU Satyros Comedy Society

For many years we suspected, but only yesterday did it come to light: herbs and spices do not make meals better – they only complicate recipes so that average people don’t realize that fancy restaurant food isn’t actually worth $90 a head. This incorrect belief has allowed the world chef-elite to charge exorbitant amounts for small portions of average food, spiced with tiny amounts of expensive and difficult to find ingredients, that make the dishes

impossible to replicate at home. The 3000-year-old scam came to light in a press conference given by TV chef Gordon Ramsay.

“It’s a fucking scam you shits. We’ve ripped you the fuck off for so fucking long. We really fucked you fuckers good. Fuck.”

A big cheese in the food industry and owner of a large franchise of restau-

rants, Jamie Oliver, has confessed to being deeply involved in the fraud.

“There’s no way my ‘15 minute meals’ could ever take 15 minutes. It’s just to make people think they’re shit at cooking. Those dishes take 45 minutes and I know that when I plan them. But it makes you think that the $27 pasta at ‘Jaime’s Italian’ is worth it so I guess it worked for me.”

Heston Blumenthal was similarly caught by the scandal when several of his colleagues revealed their belief that none of Blumenthal’s food had ever been edible. “I mean, – for fuck sake! You can’t just throw liquid nitrogen in a bowl with some plastic and expect to eat whatever comes out!”

ANU student society accused of lying about free food in order to lure college student Lorane Gaborit

2nd year development studies major, Lucy Jones, has threatened to sue the ANU Tree Hugging society after none of the promised pizzas were delivered to last Wednesday’s meeting.

The meeting, which lasted over 2 hours, included discussion of the ethics of providing wood for the Forestry fire pit and a placard making session ahead of a climate change protest next Sunday.

“They promised they’d order Dominos on their Facebook post” Lucy told us, “I waited and waited and it never came.”

“This is why I have trust issues.”

Lucy, who is an active member of over 27 different clubs and societies at the ANU, claims that she is not the only one who has been adversely affected by this disgraceful behaviour. According to her, over 85% of all ANU students only attend extra-curricular events on the basis that food and alcohol will be provided. The inability of clubs and societies to provide such goods, she says, puts the very health of their members at risk.

Luke Richards, a fellow resident of Burton and Garran Hall, is also a student who has been left close to

starvation, and even worse, sobriety, as a result of poor student society governance. When asked to comment on this story he told us about a traumatic guest lecture about the Amazonian tree frog he attended last semester, under the impression that wine and cheese would be provided.

Unfortunately, the ANU Amphibian Spotting Society had “run out” before he’d arrived.

It’s the stories of students like Luke, Lucy says, that motivated her unrelenting quest for justice. That, and a fond memory of better times.

“Last semester, if I planned my week

well,” she told us, with a dreamy look in her eyes, “I could spend under $5 a week on groceries.”

If you would like to stand up for the rights of college students everywhere, more information about Lucy’s campaign can be found at itwasonyourfacebookpage.org.au.

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

ANUSA BUSH WEEK (Photography Credit: Scavenger photography, Helen Wang, Pubudu Dissanayake)

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Week 3, Semester 2, 2016

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Issue 9, Vol. 66

The photography page Your shots could be here!

Submit your photographs by sending them to photography@woroni.com.au with a short description (less than 200 words)!

Photography by Bremer Sharp Woroni Photography Sub-editor