Woroni Edition 11 2015

#HAC KLYF VOL. 67

Issue #12

PAGE 3.

ANUSA Elections 2015 - Waheed Jayhoon and Anna Kaufmann PAGE 4.

Woroni Presents: The Great Presidential Debate - Ria Pflaum PAGE 6.

Planned Ethno-Cultural Department for ANUSA - Miguel Galsim

PAGE 10.

ANUSA: A Recent History - Tina Branford PAGE 12 - 13.

Two Perspectives on SSAF - Christopher Reside & Vincent Chiang PAGE 14.

ANU’s Power List - Areti Metuamate

WORONI SEMESTER 2 - WEEK 6, 2015 - WORONI.COM.AU - FACEBOOK, TWITTER & THE APP STORES

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WORONI No.12 Vol.67

CONTENTS No. 12 1.

3.

4.

6.

Cover

- Henry Dwyer

ANUSA Elections 2015 - Waheed Jayhoon and Anna Kaufmann Woroni Presents: The Great Presidential Debate - Ria Pflaum Planned EthnoCultural Department - Miguel Galsim ANUSA Holds Second OGM of the Year - Miguel Galsim

7.

ANUSA Re-accredits with NUS Despite Past Anxieties - Anna Kaufmann New $52 Million Residence at ANU by 2015 - Ria Pflaum

8.

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9.

A Proactive China at the ANU - Miguel Galsim Graduation Day - Only for Those Who Pay? - Ria Pflaum & Anna Macdonald $25M Coombs Upgrade Announced - Miguel Galsim

Stop Taxing my Period Rally - Ria Pflaum The League of Remarkable Women - Sonja Panjkov

10.

ANUSA: A Recent History - Tina Branford

11.

ANUSA 2016 Policies - Provided and Written by Each Ticket

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

The SSAF Slush-Fund - Christopher Reside A Simple (Almost Mathematical) Case for SSAF - Vincent Chiang ANU’s Power List 2015 - Areti Metuamate

The Most Influential International Student Clubs at ANU - Andaleeb Akhand Cards Against ANU Hacktivism is in Our Interest - Mark Fabian

Why You and the ANUSA ELections Matter in the End - Gabriele Naktinyte 18.

19.

The Department Mystique - Em Roberts, Lauren Murphy & Zoe Cameron Cards Against ANU

21.

Learning from Tony - Matthew Lord

22.

Cards Against ANU

23.

How to Become a Big Name on Campus AKA, How to Sell Your Soul - Clyde Strife

25.

Cards Against ANU Hacks, Hacks Everywhere - Yifei Huang A Vote for Reason - Maxwell Jones

26.

A Mouth of Warm, Sticky...Pudding - Paroksh Prasad

27.

A Supplementary Guide for the Gym Goer - Jack McAlister

Good Things Come to Canberra Sometimes - Maeve Bannister

28.

Campus Style - Isabelle Lee

29.

Dylan Moran - Off the Hook - Jessica Masters

Cards Against ANU

20.

24.

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Small Birds of Great Deception: Cunning Vocal Mimicry - Alyssa Roggero 30.

[Redacted] Is Running Wild, Brother - Will Anderson Five Young Aussies to Keep an Eye on this Year - Ryan Graham

31.

Who Will Win the Rugby World Cup? - Robbie McNeill To Dearest Tony - Mercy McColl Coffee in Vase Same as Coffee in Cup - Ivana Smojver A Short Guide to Canberra’s Statues - Zeno of Elea This Week in Fashion at ANU Union Court - Henry Dwyer

A C K N O W L E D G M E N T S ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF COUNTRY

BOARD OF EDITORS

S TA F F

SUB-EDITORIAL TEAM

Woroni is published on the land of the Ngunnawal people.

Editor-in-Chief - Jacob Ingram Deputy Editor-in-Chief Giordi Borzuola

Administrative Assistant Simone Proctor

Science - Maxwell Jones Comment - Vishesh Agarwal Features - Vincent Chiang Satire & World - Ivana Somjver Arts & Reviews - Louise Keast Arts & Reviews - Jessica Masters Life & Style - Paroksh Prasad Sports - Zach Mackey International - Virginia Harding Radio - Kate Lawrence Radio - Caitlin Magee Radio - Finn Pedersen Radio - Sam Skinner Design - Joanne Leong IT - Manab Chetia Photography - Nic Bills Videography - Julia Faragher News Correspondent - Anna Kaufmann News Correspondent - Miguel Galsim News Correspondent - Ria Pflaum

‘Woroni’ translates to ‘mouthpiece’ in the Ngunnawal language.

Advertising inquiries and submissions can made at: advertising@woroni.com. au Phone: (02) 6125 9574 Shop 15, Lena Karmel Building 26 Barry Drive, Acton 2601

Managing Editor - Mitchell Scott

Proofreader - Siobhonn Shannon Book keeper - Brendan Ofner

Creative Director - Rashna Farrukh News Editor - Waheed Jayhoon Contributions Editor Benedicte O’Leary Rutherford Multimedia Editor Maddalena Easterbrook Radio Editor - Isaac Dugdale

Woroni is printed by Capital Fine Print.

Week 6, Semester 2, 2015.

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A N U S A

E L E C T I O N S 2 0 1 5

CAMPUS NEWS Three major tickets have been formed to run in the upcoming ANU Students’ Association (ANUSA) elections happening later this month. ANUSA is one of the most highly funded student organisations on campus, with an annual budget in excess of $1.5 million, and is responsible for the welfare of all ANU undergraduate students. Voting for the elections is scheduled for the 24th-27th August.

ANUSA is comprised of nearly 40 student representatives: six members of the Executive (President, Vice-President, General Secretary, Social Officer, and Education Officer, and Treasurer); two College Representatives from each ANU faculty; fourteen General Representatives; and six Department Officers representing underrepresented groups of the ANU community (Disabilities, Environment, Indigenous, International Students’, Queer* and Women’s).

Traditionally, the election for these executive office-bearers of the Association is highly contested, given that these positions are both prestigious and open to any undergraduate student who decides to nominate (with the exception of the role of Treasurer, which requires the completion of two entry-level accounting courses).

Students can choose to run independently, or as part of a registered ticket.

One of the tickets, Let’s ANUSA, is being spearheaded by incumbent President Ben Gill, who is seeking another year term as head of the Association. This decision is a highly irregular one – this has only happened one other time in the last 40 years. In 2014, Gill ran on the successful Connect ticket platform, which relied on the support of ANUSA Departments as a voting bloc. At the time, Gill was the 2014 Queer* Officer.

WAHEED JAYHOON & ANNA KAUFMANN Although only a minor segment of the undergraduate population, members of these various Departments are traditionally highly engaged in the electoral process. In the previous election, approximately 2000 undergraduates voted on the position of President of the Association – a fifth of the ANU’s undergraduate pool.

However, his grip on this substantial voting base seems to have slipped with the establishment of a Department-centric ticket Open – your invite to ANUSA, whose Executive team is entirely comprised of current department officers, with Elsa Merrick as President.

It is unclear as to whether the formation of this ticket was a result of fallout with Gill. However, Gill maintained that his relationship with the Officers is still an amicable one.

Another significant minority voting bloc is student Labor support – a body that is highly pervasive within the major student associations on campus. With an equally high level of engagement in ANU politics, candidates backed by student Labor groups have often claimed high profile positions across the ANU campus. In recent years, they have been elected within the ANU Union, which is responsible for the services provided inside the Union Refectory Building, ANU Sport, ANUSA, and Woroni.

“I am friends with and have a strong working relationship with all the Department Officers and I think it’s great that they are running for ANUSA based on their experiences this year and that they are wanting to make elections accessible to all students,” he said.

When asked for comment, Merrick did not respond directly on the reasons for running a Department ticket against Gill, instead citing issues of advocacy and marginalisation.

Jack Gaudie, who is this year’s Social Officer, and Albert Patajo, who is this year’s College of Science Representative, are the frontrunners for this year’s Ready for ANUSA ticket, as the Presidential and Vice-Presidential nominees, respectively.

Both candidates previously ran on 2014’s Labor-influenced ticket Fetch. However, Gaudie maintained that candidacy on the ticket was not contingent on voting behaviour.

“Open was formed due to the need for a more advocacy-oriented and representative ANUSA,” Merrick said.

“In our experience as Department Officers, we found we were fighting for ANUSA to be an active lobbying body for the political and social issues affecting students on campus…”

“We don’t ask about how individuals vote; all we ask is that they support their Ready teammates, develop sound policy, and be Ready to be active members of ANUSA 2016. I think this is the important focus of a ticket,” Gaudie said.

“Rather than being a barrier to representation, ANUSA should be a megaphone to ensure student voices are heard.”

“We have a whole team of passionate and dedicated students Ready to make a difference at ANU. I think this is evident in the policy and passion they have brought so far.”

“We should prioritise advocating for students whose voices are often sidelined, such as women, international students, LGBTIQ* students, students with disabilities, Indigenous students and people of colour.”

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Illustration by Joanne Leong

Another contentious issue with the Ready for ANUSA ticket is the registration of co-tickets. While tickets are traditionally registered as a single entity, several tickets have been registered under the Ready umbrella for this election – Ready for Education, Ready for ANUSA, Ready for Reform, Ready for Social, and Ready for Welfare. While these five tickets are technically treated as separate, in practice, little distinction is made between them by the Ready team – this method allows for Ready to nominate more candidates across their respective tickets, have a higher funding allocation, and ostensibly, keep the flow of voter preferences within Ready.

“The co-tickets and extra gen reps is something our team decided to do in order to maximise the amount of Ready reps elected. It’s a commonly used technique across other campuses which increases our chances at the ballot box,” Gaudie said.

“Ready is serious about policy and serious about ANUSA - that’s why we’re maximising our chances through this technique.”

When asked for comment, 2015 ANUSA Election Project Manager Stephen Ireland said that although registering them as separate tickets satisfied one aspect of the ANUSA Electoral Regulations, there was still an on-going investigation into whether it fulfilled Section 2: 2.8.18* of these Regulations. However, following a meeting with the Probity Officers last Friday, Ready were not found to be in breach of any electoral regulations. *2.8.18 – Material of any candidate and/or ticket must not significant resemble in style or appearance the material of any other contesting candidate or ticket.

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P R E S E N T S :

THE GREAT P R E S I D E N T I A L D E BA T E CAMPUS NEWS On Thursday 20th August, the 2016 Australian National University Students Association (ANUSA) presidential candidates Jack Gaudie, Elsa Merrick and Ben Gill discussed their policy ideas and responded to student questions at Woroni’s Great Presidential Debate.

With each candidate starting with a 2-minute opening speech, Ben Gill, current ANUSA President and Let’s candidate, stated that he was immensely proud of the massive increase and engagement of students with ANUSA’s services this year due to a targeted effort in communication, especially non-residential and international students, something he said he was particularly passionate about.

Stating that his experience over the current presidential term made him one of the strongest candidates, he focused on issues of student wellbeing and the support networks students relied on, as well as increasing support for international and Indigenous students, who typically face more barriers both in engaging with ANUSA and the wider Canberra community.

Elsa Merrick, running with Open, described accessibility to ANUSA’s services as one of her top priorities as well, expressing that Open wanted to see students “included in every single choice ANUSA makes”,

RIA PFLAUM and that she saw ANUSA in more of a facilitator role.

working a lot more closely with the faculty representatives.

“This ANUSA is about students what the university is lacking is a transparent uniform consultation process that not only gives students the opportunity to have their voice heard, but also to see where their feedback is going.”

Addressing the contentious issue of re accreditation with the National Union of Students (NUS), all candidates said they would support reaccreditation, though admitted there needed to be better communication and treatment of delegates, moving away from what Merrick called a current “toxic environment.”

Highlighting issues of safety on campus, and support for the departments were also two main policies the current Environment Officer focused on throughout the night.

Questions both pre-selected and from the audience raised issues of the balance between department autonomy and fiscal responsibility in the ANUSA departments, with Merrick stating that finances had been an impairment in Department Officers’ abilities throughout this year, and that finances shouldn’t be an obstacle in “doing something you’re passionate about.”

Running with the Ready ticket, current Social Officer, Jack Gaudie, mentioned that his role on the executive this year had taught him a lot about how ANUSA ran, and how important it was for students.

“Ready’s ANUSA would be one that listens, that advocates, that continues assistance for the mental and physical well-being of students.”

There was a focus on increasing support for international students throughout the night, with Gill stating the four biggest problems for international students were “employability, cost of living, accommodation and community engagement.”

Stating that he wanted to focus on long-term reform, Gaudie said that his policy priority would surround structural issues within the current education policy. Changing the role of Education Officer would play a large part in this, he said, moving from a role more focused on issues of higher education to include more internal aspects as well, such as

Gaudie agreed, adding that Ready’s goal was to change the stigma around mental health, through increased communication.

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Photograph by Maddalena Easterbrook

Confronting an issue raised by much of the ANU student body, that of tickets being influenced by political leanings, Merrick made the point that all Open executive candidates were independent, as it was important for ANUSA to be ‘impartial.’

Gaudie admitted that he had never shied away from saying he was a Labor supporter, but that in putting together his ticket, that hadn’t been a consideration.

“I just looked for people that were ready to commit to the marathon that is ANUSA, rather than the sprint that is the election.

Gill closed his comments by stating that “things happening at this university are exciting, but student consultation was definitely needed.”

Merrick joked that whilst all the candidates had great ideas, “some were better than others”, with Gaudie agreeing that the diversity of views could give way to a range of different futures.

ANUSA elections will be held from the 24th to the 27th of August.

?

2016 ALUMNI AWARDS Do you know an inspirational graduate or student who has made an outstanding contribution to their community in Australia or internationally? Nominate them for the University’s Alumni Awards. > > > > > > >

Alumnus of the Year Alumnus of the Year – Philanthropy Alumnus of the Year – Innovation and Entrepreneurship Alumnus of the Year – Research or Academia International Alumnus of the Year Young Alumnus of the Year Student of the Year

Nominations close 31 October 2015

MO_AR&P15377

alumniawards.anu.edu.au

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WORONI No.12 Vol.67

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PL ANNED ETHNO-CULTURAL D E PA R T M E N T F O R A N U S A MIGUEL GALSIM

CAMPUS NEWS ANUSA executives and department heads are in the process of planning the creation of an Ethno-Cultural Department to serve the interests of ethnically and culturally diverse people on campus.

While not a completely new idea, it was given momentum by a discussion held between Monique Langley-Freeman, ANUSA General Secretary; Queer* Officer Kat Reed; and Deputy Queer* Officer Bryan Andía-Concha at an ANUSA mid-year retreat. Since then, at least two working-group meetings have been held with ANUSA executives.

The meetings explored issues surrounding consultation in the creation of the Department, and proposed outreach to existing societies that represent ethnic diversity, as well as clubs and societies in general.

Discussion also focused on the role of the International Students Department (ISD), its current role in promoting ethnic and cultural diversity, and the possibility of the Ethno-Cultural Department assuming this

role in the future.

to define the parameters of the department itself, both in naming and in more general spirit. ‘Ethno-Cultural’ can be quite a loaded term for some, as can ‘Person of Colour.’ I think the key point here is to ensure that members are self-identifying,” she said.

Langley-Freeman said that ANUSA chiefly intended the Department to “elevate the voices of people of colour, and to give dignity and validity to those who have been marginalised or oppressed by dominant systems.”

The second meeting also highlighted the National Union of Students’ (NUS) attempts at creating an Ethno-Cultural Department, with ANUSA wanting to take a different approach to better suit ANU’s particular needs.

Critical discussions surrounding the actual membership and audience of the Department were also held, particularly whether it would serve people identifying as ethnically, culturally, or linguistically diverse, or people of colour in general.

Possible names of the Department and their certain connotations were also acknowledged.

The Ethno-Cultural Department’s semi or full autonomy was also considered.

Langley-Freeman said that “[ANUSA] has reached out to NUS, mainly to try and tap into the greater networks of groups doing similar things around the country... it will be important to make sure that a future department is indicative of our unique population and is able to address the needs of identifying members.”

Regardless, Langley-Freeman told Woroni that through consultation with students and other Australian groups, ANUSA would “avoid previous mistakes and clarify the spirit of the group.”

However, she felt that despite ANU’s unique and diverse population – reflected in its range of student clubs and societies – the university was falling behind in raising

“One of the key issues in question is how

issues regarding the “ethno-culturally diverse.”

She also mentioned that “we are reaching a critical point of thinking culture and ethnicity not only in ANU, but also nationwide,” citing recent ethnicity-centred debates over Adam Goodes and the Interhall Miss Saigon production as indicators.

“It is of primary importance that we elevate the voices of those most impacted by these issues in that space.”

She claimed the recent establishment of a Women of Colour sub-department within the Women’s Department was similarly indicative of the need to address the needs of ethno-culturally diverse students.

The consultation process behind the Department’s creation will be opened up to the student body, with its proposed establishment as a committee in 2016, followed by a transition into full department status in 2017.

ANUSA HOLDS SECOND OGM OF THE YEAR CAMPUS NEWS ANUSA held its second ordinary general meeting (OGM) on the 20th of August with quorum attendance, and ended with the passing of a motion to release a survey focusing on student feedback to the newly proposed student residence, as well as the election of Helena Hu to the Grants and Affiliations Committee (GAC).

The proceedings generally followed the agenda posted online, with the executive reports taken largely as read.

Not included in the agenda was the report of Vice President James Waugh, who spoke nevertheless and revealed that funding for an ANU Skillup program has been approved, with the intention to provide students with training for casual employment.

ANUSA General Representative Jed Buchanan, from the floor, moved to release a survey studying student feedback and consultation in the planning of the new student residence.

He believed that ANUSA should provide feedback on the student consultation process, and that its involvement in the University Administration’s working groups was made clear.

MIGUEL GALSIM that he would have an opportunity to speak at the OGM, Gaudie responded that he was not told of the opportunity, nor was he aware himself that candidates would be permitted to speak.

Gaudie also withdrew statements he made listing Wynne’s extracurricular experiences when asked by a member of the audience about issues regarding a possible conflict of interest. Nick Wynne is currently standing as a General Representative candidate on Gaudie’s Ready for ANUSA ticket, and Helena Hu is running as Social Officer on Ben Gill’s Let’s ticket.

Buchanan described his intentions behind the survey as “two-pronged”.

The first half of the survey will be concerned with student opinions on the newly announced college, providing feedback to university authorities.

The second half would be dedicated to illustrating ANUSA’s role in the consultation process and student feedback regarding what ANUSA’s role should be in the process.

Also moved was the proposal to elect a new GAC member at the OGM by Social Officer Jack Gaudie, spurred by the recent resignation of Karan Dhamija from the committee. During a Student Representative Council (SRC) meeting earlier this May, Gaudie moved a motion to refer Dhamija to the Disputes Committee after he missed nine GAC meetings without apologies, describing him as “wholly uncommunicative in response to attempts to correct his unsatisfactory attendance record.”

Throughout the motion’s question period, Gaudie claimed that he was in communication with Wynne, and proposed to call him to speak on his nomination.

According to Gaudie, Wynne told him that he didn’t want to speak at the OGM and eventually withdrew his nomination for the GAC position. Hu was thus elected at the conclusion of the meeting.

Helena Hu and Nick Wynne were nominated for the position, with the latter submitting in abstention. Hu was given time to speak on the nomination, while no statement came from Wynne.

When asked whether Wynne was aware

“GAC needs the person power to process reports. If this motion didn’t pass, it would be a longer time before

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GAC could function at full capacity, which is frustrating when you’re passionate about [the committee]” he told Woroni afterwards.

When asked about Wynne’s withdrawal, he said that “anyone’s allowed to withdraw from nominating for a position.”

Gaudie also commented on Wynne’s absence. “You don’t need to be present to nominate; the general secretary accepted it in absentia. But he wasn’t able to be here because of class and that just means he wasn’t able to speak. He withdrew his nomination, so I don’t think it bothered him too much.”

On the general proceedings, Gaudie wished that “it could have been longer, but I’m glad that everything got passed.

It’s good for GAC.”

Week 6, Semester 2, 2015.

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A N U SA R E -AC C R E D I T S W I T H N U S D E S P I T E PA S T A N X I E T I E S CAMPUS NEWS The decision of whether to re-accredit with the National Union of Students (NUS) has dominated ANUSA SRC meetings over the past six months, with certain ANUSA members, including President Ben Gill, historically being firmly against reaccreditation. However, after several months of discussion, the decision was finally made to re-accredit.

The NUS is the national peak representative body for Australian undergraduate university students, and plays the key function of lobbying for student rights. Students associations and unions from universities across the country pay a fee to accredit with the NUS every year to support the Union financially.

There have been concerns about the ANU Student Association (ANUSA) re-affiliating with NUS this year after stories of serious mismanagement within the organisation came to light, with the ANUSA treasurer, Sophia

ANNA KAUFMANN Woo, labelling the NUS as “financially irresponsible”. It was revealed at the 2014 NUS National Conference that the organisation had accumulated approximately $300,000 in deficits over three years, despite reports from consecutive NUS General-Secretaries that the budget was in surplus. To make up for this financial shortcoming, the NUS proposed potentially blending campaign and advocacy work between specific departments, a move that has received extensive criticism from ANUSA Department Officers.

reduction. Gill said that while there had been some debate in the SRC over recent concerns with the NUS’s management, “overall it was decided that NUS still remained an important advocacy and lobbying avenue for ANU students.”

However, others are disappointed with how little ANU has decided to give to the NUS. Vishnupriya De, who is running in the upcoming ANUSA elections for Gen Rep and NUS delegate with Let’s ANUSA, said that she “absolutely supported” ANUSA’s decision to re-accredit with NUS.

At an SRC meeting earlier in August, the decision was made to re-affiliate with NUS for a fee of up to $5000, despite the NUS initially requesting almost $90,000 from ANU.

“NUS exists to support students’ rights and fight for student rights as a national body,” she said.

Ben Gill, President of ANUSA, said that the SRC had voted against not re-accrediting with NUS at the end of last semester, and that following this decision, he liaised with the NUS Executive regarding a fee

But De said it was “disgraceful” that the ANU has re-accredited for only $5,000, or “pocket change”, as she described it.

“Take

Flinders

University,

student union’s entire budget is $170,000 and they accredited for $15,000. That’s what student unions can do and should do,” she said.

“Last year ANUSA spent more than $5,000 on custom made jellybeans if they can spend $5,000 on that kind of shit, surely they can also spend it supporting the body that puts up a fight; that protects students; that represents students when they’re under attack from the government which happens all the time.”

Gill said that while there are some on the SRC who do not agree with re-accreditation, the motion to reaccredit was received positively overall. However, the discussion of whether to re-accredit in the future is a discussion that he believes the student body should have every year.

their

NEW $52 MILLION RESIDENCE AT ANU BY 2017 CAMPUS NEWS On Monday 17th August, ViceChancellor Ian Young announced plans for a new $53 million residential student building, aiming to house an extra 500 students in on campus accommodation, with construction hopefully finished by the end of 2017.

Emphasising affordability, Young stated that the new residence would be self catered, with multiple communal self-service kitchens that would help provide a social atmosphere echoing that of a traditional residential hall.

It is to be built on the corners of Clunies Ross St, Dickson Rd and Daley Road, and will be “architectural statement – high class accommodation designed for the future.”

“The new residence will be built on an unutilized part of the ANU campus, and will be one of the cheapest forms of accommodation at the ANU”, Young expressed, acknowledging an awareness of the high costs of living that students have to deal with.

Ben Gill, ANUSA President, stated that the “price will be in between

RIA PFLAUM that of current offerings – more expensive than B&G or Fenner, but less than a catered college.”

With the ability to live on campus a valued aspect of the student experience, and one that often draws students to the ANU, demand for affordable on campus student accommodation is high.

5000 students currently live in student accommodation and Prof.

Young stated that student input, consulted mainly in 2014, had shown that traditional residential halls were the most desired form of new accommodation.

being managed by Unilodge, which currently manages 4 student accommodation buildings, alluding to less community engagement, as well as citing high ratios of residents to pastoral care officers creating issues with access and fluidity of mental health services, however Gill stated that this wouldn’t be the case.

“The pastoral care will be on par to other Daley Road Colleges, which is around 30 students per pastoral carer”, he said, although an ANU spokesperson stated, “the University is yet to determine the details of how the new hall will operate or how leadership positions will be decided.”

This consultation included “looking at type, layouts, and student requirements”, expressed Gill, “however, at this stage this particular building was not in the pipeline and as such this was more of an information exercise.”

Samuel Guthrie, former Unilodge Residential Committee (ResCom) President and SR, stated that in his experience, Unilodge at ANU management’s commercial structure unfortunately did not always show interest in the wellbeing of residents.

Vice President of ANUSA, James Waugh, said that although the consultation was ‘brisk’, options discussed were wide, and included “discussion about features and aspects such as how big the room should be.”

“Leaders of the community who should be tasked with supporting residents are stuck managing finances, achieving KPIs, and ensuring customer satisfaction. “

Many students have raised concerns about the new building

“From attempting to force SRs to

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complete functions such as cleaning the bicycle sheds and organising the keys to entirely ignoring issues of mental health, I have seen management toe lines that nauseated me.”

Current President of the Unilodge ResCom, Rory Jay, addressed concerns of lack of engagement within Unilodge buildings.

“The architecture of the buildings does mean residents can live privately within the community if they wish, but a lot of successful efforts are made from our leadership team, management and residents to get as many people engaging with the community as possible.”

“Ultimately, our living style does offer freedom of choice, where residents can engage in the community, but not feel pressured when they don’t want to.”

As the University does not have the intake numbers for 2017, an ANU spokesperson said that they would be unable to comment on the rates of returners and new admissions for that year.

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A PROACTIVE CHINA AT THE ANU CAMPUS NEWS

MIGUEL GALSIM

Students, scholars, and members of the diplomatic community attended a symposium on the 14th of August to discuss China’s post2012 foreign policy. Organised by the Chinese Students and Scholars Association (CSSA), the event elapsed the entire day at the China in the World Auditorium.

Speaking on trade relations with Australia, Ma said that “all of us will be beneficiaries of the Free Trade Agreement” which will significantly open investment opportunities between Australia and China, and in tandem with OBOR “will turn the Maritime Silk Road into a golden river.”

large number of voices to listen to” in regards to this.

The Chinese ambassador, HE Ma Zhaoxu, opened the symposium with an unplanned visit and promoted China’s “One Belt One Road” (OBOR) policy – a development strategy and infrastructure program designed to increase China’s global presence. It will consist of two main components: the Silk Road Economic Belt (SREB) and the Maritime Silk Road (MSR), which would “do something not only for Australia and China, but in third countries such as in the South Pacific.”

The ambassador’s address was followed by brief speeches from other distinguished guests, including Pro-Vice Chancellor (International and Outreach) Erik Lithander.

Through OBOR, “China is seen as expanding on its influence by using profit. Don’t forget Thucydides [his motivations for gaining power]; honour, fear and profit. This is the profit part.”

Ma said that China was “building something on the basis of history” and wanted to “promote mutual benefit and mutual prosperity.” He said that DFAT and other Australian agencies gave a positive response to the policy.

“Development [in OBOR states] will be open and inclusive, instead of exclusive,” Ma told the audience.

Goh, who mediated the panel, told Woroni that OBOR, despite being promoted as beneficial, may be interpreted differently by the US and some neighbouring states.

The introduction was followed by an academic panel on “Power Transition: Beyond Thucydides’ Trap?” with Dr Amy King, Prof Evelyn Goh, and Prof Hugh White from ANU, with Dr Chengxin Pan from Deakin University speaking. The academics spoke about the applicability of the “Trap” to China’s rise, and whether or not war with China is inevitable.

On the general proceedings, Goh said “I think [the event] would be a useful exercise if we could highlight in a more equal way Chinese perceptions, as well as US and Western perceptions... there’s still a very big gap in understanding what Chinese perceptions are.

And this biggest mistake to make is to think that there is one Chinese perception. China is becoming like America; the plurality of views in China is remarkable.”

White explored the reluctance of mainly China and the US to go to war and the possibility of avoiding conflict. Pan agreed, given China’s interconnectedness, but cautioned that China’s rise was “not a single, linear, zerosum transition.” King also concurred, and also highlighted China’s actual intentions and “the

After lunch Pakistan’s High Commissioner, HE Naela Chohan, spoke to the audience on Pakistan-China relations, underlining their long friendship that has fostered a relationship “as

sweet as honey.”

“We became friends with China when the rest of the world didn’t understand what was going on... the younger generation must try to understand the cultural sensibilities of others,” she concluded.

Concluding the symposium was a student panel composed of postgraduates and undergraduates who discussed the rise of China and its role in the world.

Serena Lu, president of CSSA, told Woroni that ANU was the ideal location because of the highstandard of its International Relations program, and that the Chinese Embassy was helpful in the organisation.

“They helped to increase the [profile] of this event to a high level,” she said.

Ultimately she was pleased with the event, and having “[the attendees] learn something from the conference]” was what “[she] wanted to see.”

G R A D U A T I O N DA Y –

O N LY F O R T H O S E W H O PAY ?

RIA PFLAUM & ANNA MACDONALD

CAMPUS NEWS With the deregulation of university fees still very much on the table, ANU students came out on Wednesday 19th August to protest for a quality and accessible university education.

ANUSA Education Officer, Jock Webb, said that the goal of the rally was to “keep these issues on the table.”

“I shudder to think what a drastic increase in our tuition fees might look like in terms of this breakdown and I certainly do not want to see the ANU transform into a bastion of privilege.”

“The Minister for Education is trying to force a set of reforms onto a parliament and a community who have manifestly rejected them, twice”, Webb said.

Senator Lee Rhiannon, the Greens Higher Education spokesperson who was present at the event, spoke to the fact that although there

passionately against the reforms in front of the gathered crowd, stated, “deregulation is damningly unpopular.”

have been a “number of victories” on the issue of deregulation, more needs to be done.

“Fair, equitable higher education needs to be high on the agenda,” she said, in reference to next year’s election.

“Christopher Pyne is almost universally hated”, she proclaimed, asserting that “the Liberal Government is full of oddballs and madmen…

Christopher Pyne is the Education Minister for his bank balance.”

“Your voice was heard… however, we need to continue presenting a strong voice.”

Despite the slight police and security presence, the atmosphere was one of controlled and calm protest, with signs such as ‘Graduation Day – Only For Those Who Pay’, and ‘Fund Education, Not Detention’ littering Union Court.

Loren Ovens, ANU Women’s Officer, agreed, saying that she was “here to show ongoing support.”

She expressed that she thought it was “deeply concerning that we have students that have shown over the last two years that they don’t support these changes, and yet the Chancellery at the ANU and the government persist with them. “

Protestors at the rally included ANU students Claire Clively, who referred to deregulation as an ‘outrage’, and Grace Elkins, who stated that education was a human right.

“It is not fair, equitable or in any way responsible for a government to send its’ future generation

Fellow ANU student Priya De, who spoke

into the world with debt up to their ears.”

“It deters people from getting the education they have a right to,” Elkins said.

Webb stated that “50% of students who live in share-housing and receive the maximum Youth Allowance, Austudy and rent assistance still live below the poverty line.

“Many students are forced to work a huge number of hours to get by, and are skipping meals to pay their rent.”

“To graduate with a degree that has been a struggle from start to finish and then be shackled with an enormous debt burden before even entering the (somewhat unforgiving) job market is a horrifying prospect.”

$25M COOMBS UPGRADE ANNOUNCED CAMPUS NEWS A $25 million refurbishment of the Coombs Building was approved by the University Council in a meeting it held on the 24th of July. The College of Asia and the Pacific (CAP) was awarded the $25 million after its bid, in competition with other colleges, succeeded in the ANU’s Capital Works funding round for 2015.

Announced alongside the Coombs refurbishment was a $25 million refurbishment for the College of Law building, and a new $30 million building to house the College of Engineering and Computer Science (CECS). This adds to four other building projects approved for the Research School of Social Sciences, CECS,

MIGUEL GALSIM Physics, and the Research School of Biology last year, amounting to $150 million.

Alongside these changes, the Coombs refurbishment itself will consist of the renovation of the Coombs Tearoom, possum-proofing of the building, and the development of “purpose built, innovative education spaces.”

These developments are scheduled to take place over the next six years (2015-20), with the Coombs refurbishment proposed to take 4-5 years.

The bid was supported by CAP staff, particularly their current and previous General Managers and Deans, Marketing and Communications team, and previous Facilities Manager. Prof. Taylor, the current Dean, labelled the success as “a long awaited opportunity” and described Coombs as “an attractive portal to our research and teaching.”

According to an email circulated to CAP staff, the upgrades will result in the vacation of CAP from the Baldessin Precinct Building, allowing the School of Culture, History and Languages to be housed under a single roof in Baldessin. Furthermore, CASS is scheduled to vacate Coombs in 2017, which “will open up much-needed additional space for all of [CAP’s] Schools and Centres.”

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Parallel to the Coombs upgrade, the Law refurbishments are planned to be staged over the next 3-4 years, and the new CECS building will not be built until 2019-20.

Vice-Chancellor Ian Young, in an email to all ANU staff, stated that “the 7 projects, taken together, are a major investment in the academic activities of the university and will have a significant impact of the quality of the University’s academic facilities.”

CAP could not be reached for comment.

W

Week 6, Semester 2, 2015.

//NEWS

STOP TAXING MY PERIOD RALLY CAMPUS NEWS Following a month long movement to remove the Goods and Services Tax (GST) from sanitary products, Friday 14th August saw a nation wide rally calling on state and territory treasurers to remove the ‘tampon tax’. The ACT rally took place in front of the Legislative Assembly Building in Civic.

With each of the rallies in state capital cities around the country held at similar times, ACT Campaign Organiser Rashna Farrukh said “the fact that the rally was held across Australia really sends a strong message to treasurers who haven’t come out to support us.”

“Through our united front, they saw that Australians think this tax is unfair, and

RIA PFLAUM that we want it gone”, she stated.

Currently, Australian women spend close to $300 million on sanitary products, which, unlike condoms, lubricants, and sunscreen, are not considered ‘necessary’.

This makes them not exempt from the 10% GST. Loren Ovens, Women’s Department Officer for the ANU Students’ Association (ANUSA), gave the first speech at the rally, stating that the presence “showed that we aren’t embarrassed.”

“We already get paid less, especially women of certain intersectionalities - why do we then also have to pay more for things that are necessities?”

The ACT Minister for Women, Yvette Berry, backed up these sentiments.

students all lending their voice.

“This campaign is important as it is a bold show of modern feminism. This tax is blatant evidence of how being a woman is a disadvantage”, said CSU student Ashlee Spears.

“Decisions about women affect women, but are made when women aren’t in the room”, Berry said.

In a joint media release from the ACT, Victorian, Queensland and Victorian governments, the Labor treasurers “confirmed that they will seek to have the GST removed on sanitary products”, at next week’s Council of Federal Financial Relations in Canberra.

“Between tampons and washing machines, modern sanitation has done as much for women’s workforce and social participation as the contraceptive pill has.”

“We’re not going to let stigma around menstruation stop us from creating political change around this issue”, she pronounced.

Photograph by Nic Bills

The event brought together activists from across Canberra, echoing the nation wide movement, with ANU, UC and CSU

Rashna Farrukh is a Woroni Editor

THE LEAGUE OF

REMARKABLE WOMEN CAMPUS NEWS To celebrate National Science Week, two postdoctoral plant biologists from the ANU, Dr Anne-Sophie Dielen and Dr Britta Förster, have created The League of Remarkable Women in Australian Science exhibition, currently on display at the CSIRO Discovery Centre.

SONJA PANJKOV know how that it finally worked for them, I know that there is hope.”

“Most of the time we talk about numbers when it comes to women in science, and the numbers are not good,” said Dr. Dielen.

The exhibition, which features the portraits and stories of 32 inspiring female scientists from the STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) fields, aims to provide younger women with positive role models from their area of study.

Currently, women make up more than half of the science PhD students in Australia, however, this number drops to just 17% when looking at senior academics at universities and research institutes.

These statistics result from issues such as maternity leave and an unconscious gender bias, which often hinder a woman’s advancement in the scientific community.

The project began as a website, through which Dr. Dielen attempted to show her students the achievements of women from STEM fields in order to increase their selfconfidence.

For Dr. Dielen, the personal stories of overcoming adversity in science fields make “a massive difference. If…I can read a story and realise that this person has been through the issue I’m facing, I

For all the women considering science as a career “If you love it, just do it,” said Dr Förster.

The exhibition was also complemented by the Women in Science Panel held at the CSIRO Discovery Centre on Wednesday the 19th of August. The event raised issues faced by women, as well as their roles in the fields in science, with the audience hearing from 5 panellists, as well as the chairs of the event, It was chaired by Brian Schmidt, Physics Nobel Laureate and future Vice-Chancellor of the ANU and the Hon Karen Andrews MP, Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister for Industry and Science,

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ANU PhB Science student, Katie Ward, said she “heard some really great things from everyone… and that the resounding feeling that we really need to do something is great.”

The exhibition runs until the 31st of August on weekdays at the CSIRO Discovery Gallery Room, with support from The National Museum of Australia, The ANU Gender Institute, National Science Week Inspiring Australia Program, The ARC Centre of Excellence for Translational Photosynthesis and the CSIRO.

ANUSA: A RECENT HISTORY FEATURE Every year, circa election period, people begin to reminisce. “It didn’t used to be this vicious,” they’ll say, or “remember that time a lizardman ran for ANUSA president? Our candidates used to be way weirder”.

This article doesn’t really aim to confirm or deny these comparison; instead, it simply aims to present a written account of ANUSA through the ages – or more specifically, over the past five years.

Our story begins in 2011, during the presidential term of Leah Ginnivan.

Elected on a ticket emphasising non-political affiliation, Ginnivan’s term was relatively uncontroversial: it is nowadays perhaps best known for being the year the Student Housing Co-Op began housing students, and for having the first year of an independent Woroni. The year’s election was also relatively straightforward: Golden Ticket followed in Ginnivan’s footsteps, emphasising non-political affiliation, and handily demolished the Laboraffiliated Stimulate in a landslide election victory. The tone had been set: people were antagonistic towards party-affiliated tickets.

TINA BRANFORD nude promo photos of themselves).

Lastly, there was Common Thread, which notoriously covered Union Court in vivid pink ribbon for the entirety of election week. Common Thread emerged the victor.

2012, in contrast to 2011, was perhaps the most colourful year of all of recent ANUSA history. What seemed a strong start to the year quickly took a rogue turn, when halfway through first semester, ANUSA President Fleur Hawes was forcibly removed from her position, due to academic exclusion. Treasurer Dallas Proctor then took over as president, though the controversy did not end there.

On a more positive note, however, 2012 ANUSA also featured one of the most obvious and powerful examples of student advocacy, with an enormous campaign lead by CASS representative Yasmin Masri to “save” the School of Music from cuts.

As far as the year itself went, 2013 was another relatively standard one. Business went on as usual for the most part, as far as ANUSA itself was concerned. The election itself was another matter: it was quite the opposite of 2012, in that there was literally only one nomination for most executive positions. Lead by infamous lizardman (and fading Big Name On Campus) Cam Wilson, Bounce snatched up the positions with most of the election being focused on the only contested position – the Education Officer.

After a fairly intense series of debates, a bit of politicking and some parody Facebook groups, Laura Wey from Bounce! was elected Education Officer.

2012 also stands out as having one of the more colourful election seasons of recent history. Three large tickets took part, each with its own brand of eccentricity. Most standard of the three was Front Row, a serious ticket seemingly named after Presidential Candidate Alex Bell-Rowe. Secondly, and perhaps most unusual, was the ticket Naked, which ran on a platform of literally having no pre-set policies, with the plan being for all policies to be formed via consultation following the election (they also ran

Which brings us, at last, to the final year in this chronology – 2014.

Students’ choice of Laura Wey was validated, when she lead an extremely effective and powerful

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Illustration by Joanne Leong

Anti-Fee Deregulation campaign, and this remained perhaps the most noticeable legacy of the 2014 ANUSA. Of course, there were other points of controversy, including a proposal to change the funding structure for Collectives, and also, a motion of no confidence in Cam Wilson (which was ultimately not passed). This was all concluded by another hotly contested election, largely between tickets Fling, Connect, and Fetch.

The 2014 election was noteworthy firstly for being the only instance in recent history where the elected ANUSA execut ive was comprised of individuals from several different tickets; on top of that, however, the election was also noteworthy for seeing the rise of interest groupbased tickets, including Divestman and Student House Party (Fossil Free ANU and the Student Housing CoOp respectively).

2015 so far looks to be a heavily contested election as well. Who will emerge victorious? Whatever happens, hopefully people will look to the past, in order to learn and plan ahead for the future.

W

Week 6, Semester 2, 2015.

//FEATURE

ANUSA 2016 POLICIES

These policies were provided and written by each ticket.

Let’s wants to talk about the longterm viability of our Students’ Association. To talk about how we can create long-lasting, meaningful improvements to the student experience and ensure our core services are sustainable and secure.

This focus on future-proofing our Students’ Association is reflected in our key priorities for 2016:

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Focusing on long-term issues: ANUSA structure and funding;

Engaging non-residential students: development of a Family and Friends Orientation program;

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Improving student wellbeing: greater academic outreach and the introduction of a Wellbeing Educator;

4 5

Securing safety on campus for all students;

Strengthening our social portfolio with an efficient, consistently reliable GAC and opportunities for greater networking between clubs and societies to foster a community of collaboration and skill-sharing;

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Ensuring that future of teaching and learning at the ANU (i.e. changes to the academic calendar length, discussions about phasing out live lectures, the growing trend towards online learning etc) remains the centrepiece of ANUSA’s operations in 2016 - with an emphasis on consultation to ensuring the best outcomes for current and future students.

Let’s will work towards structural change, financial sustainability, and improved communication to ensure ANUSA is relevant and effective now and into the future.

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Lobbying and Advocacy: ANUSA must be a responsive, assertive student organisation that holds the Chancellery accountable.

ANUSA Discount Card Your money is valuable, Ready wants you to get an many discounts as possible. Discounts relevant to your life from textbooks to haircuts to fresh groceries.

Open wants a University-wide Student Consultation Policy, which outlines a thorough and transparent process to be followed when the University proposes changes that affect students.

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Union Court Redevelopment It’s important that student’s needs are put first in the future of our campus space. Ready wants student input to be takes seriously and a Safety Line to be a top priority for the future of our UC.

Open wants to implement clear, enforceable guidelines for reporting and responding to instances of violence on campus.

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Open will ensure that ANUSA supports Residential Colleges to have a presence during University policy-making, to ensure student accommodation is affordable and equitable.

Department Support Ready knows the valuable work of Departments: we want a working funding model within the first 100 days; extra training for roles; and a review of Officer pay.

Here we outline our most important policies to improve ANUSA and student life on campus. These serve as a foundation for our campaign to RECLAIM ANUSA. Our Top Five Policies:

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Discount cards: We will provide the ANUSA executive with an exclusive “Gold” discount card which would provide half-price brodburger, free accommodation on campus, and $5000 in travel benefits.

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Achievable goals: We want to RECLAIM pragmatism in election promises and as such our flagship policies include legalisation of marijuana and same-sex marriage across the ANU.

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Engagement and Accessibility: Student representation is not about the people elected, but what they can do to improve life on campus.

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5

Open will increase engagement between ANUSA and student groups and Residential Colleges.

We’ll collaborate when planning OWeek and ensure ANUSA representatives attend Interhall Committee meetings.

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Academic Policy Ready has 21 pages of Ed policy, including Ed Officer & CRC reform, bringing back the ANUSA Education review, and re-launching the campus fight against deregulation.

Electoral Reform Ready wants to review ANUSA’s elections, it’s time they’re fair, open and simple ‒ so everyone can be involved.

Open will implement alternative options to engage with ANUSA’s decision-making, like Facebook polling and student referendums.

The Probity Officers for the elections are Ben Creelman, Alex Dixon, Fleur Hawes, Dan Wall, and Maclaren Wall.

Diversity and Inclusion: Open understands and respects the needs of students from different backgrounds.

The Probity Officers will be addressing any issues throughout the election period. If you have any complaints or seek clarification on election rules, please contact the Probity Officers.

Open will provide information and increase publicity about workplace rights and mental health in languages other than English.

Open will work with the Disability Department to create a new disability action plan that effectively supports students.

There is an online complaints form on the ANUSA website. (http:// www.anusa.com.au/anusa-elections2015-complaints-form/).

If you wish to make a complaint against a candidate, during or prior to election week, submit it here.The Probity Officers can be contacted by email (sa. probityofficers@anu.edu.au) or phone.

Open supports the implementation of gender-neutral bathrooms on campus.

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Men’s Department: We wish to establish a Men’s Department as well as a dedicated “safe space” on campus for men only, because nothing says inclusivity like exclusivity.

Student Finances: To assist with student finances and welfare we plan to install dozens of pokie machines in the Chifley basement for students to win big and pay off their HECS debts as soon as possible*.

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Woroni: We intend to RECLAIM our student media from left wing hippies by selling the newspaper to NewsCorp.

We also plan to limit funding to frivolous clubs and societies and place the RECLAIMed funds in our “secret” President’s bank account as well as hopefully fund Ben Gill’s next ANUSA campaign. We also have an environmental policy.

WORONI No.12 Vol.67

W

//COMMENT

THE

S S A F SLUSH-FUND COMMENT In 2013 the Australian Government made the timely announcement of a Royal Commission into Trade Union Governance and Corruption.

Since its beginning, the Royal Commission has gathered mountains of evidence and shone light on at least some of the dodgy dealings that form the basis of the union power structure. In the ACT, we have heard allegations of stand-over tactics, bribery and bullying from members of the Construction, Forestry, Mining and Energy Union (CFMEU).

Only last week the Secretary of the NSW branch was questioned as to whether money levied from workers’ salaries went towards a charity or into a union slush fund.

While these investigations may seem removed from our relatively docile student world, they actually are incredibly relevant, and not just because the industries’ most students work in, hospitality and retail, are often subject to the same union-negotiated workplace agreements. In fact, every student that attends the ANU is charged a fee that goes towards a $4.6 million slush fund.

The Student Services and Amenities Fee (SSAF) is a compulsory charge of $286 on all full-time undergraduate and post-graduate students (parttime students pay a portion). It doesn’t go towards education costs. It is charged to students across the country to fund activities attended and enjoyed by only a small portion of students: activities like parties; student association junkets; and political campaigns. While the legislation that regulates the SSAF dictates that SSAF money cannot be spent

CHRISTOPHER RESIDE on political campaigns, this is neatly sidestepped by student organisations that run “issue campaigns” along partisan lines.

There is nothing wrong with any of these activities in and of themselves. I like a good party (and by good I mean one that ends at 12.30am and has a playlist solely consisting of Vampire Weekend and the Shins), I like junkets and (surprise surprise) I like a political campaign or two.

But what is troubling, nay, what is downright undemocratic, is that some students demand the rest of the student body subsidise them to participate in these activities.

Much like the union fees for slush-funds we have heard about in the Royal Commission, the vast majority people that pay the SSAF either don’t know that they are doing it (it goes right on your HELP loan if you ignore it long enough), or think they are paying something from which they will benefit, or don’t want to pay it but have to anyway. Indeed some students do benefit – but it isn’t the vast majority; it’s just the left wing Labor-Green apaches that run groups like the ANU Union and other student organisations.

In recent time the SSAF has been used to fund things like ANUSA’s membership fee of the National Union of Students, a peak body so indulgent and ineffective that it has run deficits the last two year totally more that $150,000, subsiding clubs devoted to, among other things, Kanye, Anime, gaming, and beerpong. The fees also go towards headline concerts during O-week and Bush Week.

Again, nothing is wrong these

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activities (who doesn’t appreciate Kanye?), just like there is nothing wrong with people running in trade union elections. The problem is that SSAF is a compulsory fee, meaning those who perhaps don’t want to see a Triple J band in O-Week are not getting worth for their money. A far better system would be a user pays system, or even a voluntary fee, so that those who know they will engage and get their money’s worth can pay, leaving those who don’t to spend their money how they like. And this isn’t some crazy idea. Last Bush-Week the Crash a Country Pub event ran a profit, demonstrating clearly that classic students events don’t have to be monetary black holes we all need to pay into. It also shows that there may indeed be a few people in the student administration in student politics with some financial nous.

part of that social compact in the same way that road maintenance or a national defence is, then the burden should be shouldered by the whole of society, not by students alone, who one could count as among the more vulnerable subsection of our society. Similarly, those who have the ability to negotiate SSAF spending arrangements are drawn from a rather specific pool.

Looking at the tickets running in the upcoming ANUSA elections, most candidates have lived on campus for a period of time, and almost universally hold left wing views. They are also the ones who have been attending the ANUSA parties for a few years and are thus known in that select club of “involved” students. And not surprisingly, its pretty much only this group of students who vote in the elections (only one in five actually voted last year).

Even worse than this support of rather exclusively enjoyed activities is the blatant waste of SSAF dollars. The Postgraduate student association (PARSA) holds free drinks every two weeks; Woroni has a budget of more than $200,000 and then gives papers away for free; and ANU Sport, a commercial operation with a monopoly over the campus gym requires $600,000 of SSAF funds. Far above a few subsidised events in O-Week and Bush-Week, SSAF funds are systematically frittered away by groups who have no incentive to be fiscally responsible ‒ either way, they will get a tidy top up from next years’ students.

$286 is a lot of money to a student.

For a student working part time it’s a weeks pay. It is almost a week’s rent at a catered college and more than a week’s rent at a self-catered college. Reliable modelling suggests that one could purchase over 83 litres of beer with it, or over 500 packets of mi goreng.

The argument that SSAF is like tax in broader society doesn’t hold any weight. Its not a tax – if the services and “benefits” SSAF provides are deemed to be

Christopher is a member of the Liberal Party

Students should have a choice about how they spend their money. Some might choose Kanye themed parties, and some might choose to play bridge. But demanding that others subsidise your fun, whatever it is, is arrogant and undemocratic, and it should be stopped.

W

Week 6, Semester 2, 2015.

//COMMENT

A SIMPLE (ALMOST MATHEMATICAL)

CASE FOR

S S A F VINCENT CHIANG

COMMENT There has been a lot of discussion about SSAF lately. One ANUSA ticket this year is running entirely on the platform of getting rid of SSAF, in fact. Proponents of the abolish-SSAF-movement tend to rely on libertarian arguments about how students need autonomy and how it is an imposition on our freedom to charge for the SSAF. Below, I am going to outline a quick argument for why this argument is ideological nonsense, before addressing some other concerns people have about SSAF. In terms of my argument against libertarians, here is a simple (almost mathematical) bit of analysis.

Firstly, here is an analysis of the costs of SSAF:

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SSAF is HECSable, ie. in reality costs very very very little to people in the long run (because the people who are genuinely vulnerable and unfortunately remain that way will never have to pay it theoretically). By the time you do need to pay it off, it will be paid off with like 2-4% of one year’s income max. This is a very, very minor monetary cost.

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There is maybe a small nonmonetary cost to students who feel disempowered because they see their “we-don’thave-to-pay-this-until-we’remiddle class” money being used on the purchase of goods they disapprove of eg sausages. This might be the equivalent to the harm of, for instance, seeing someone wearing ugly clothes

and feeling offended by it. It is a slightly absurd (and at best, extraordinarily minor) emotional cost.

Let’s look at the benefits of SSAF, in comparison:

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SSAF helps a number of students to get by on a day to day basis and to fund integral aspects of their university experience.

For instance, SSAF means free food, accommodation grants, and textbook grants. The amount of SSAF cash collected means you get economies of scale (basically, bulk buying is cheap), and also means there is guaranteed funding (as opposed to charity, which is unpredictable and, moreover, probably negligible in its scale in this instance). This guarantees basic rights, which are the foundation of us having autonomy in our lives.

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SSAF adds to funding for societies and clubs, social events, advocacy, all which help build student community (a theoretic ally abstract but important benefit). This isn’t just for fancy BBQs. For instance, student theatre productions often rely on SSAF to guarantee production quality, and to also keep ticket costs affordable.

Societies like ANU Debating and the ANU UN Society rely on SSAF to fund their members to attend national and international competitions, which are often the most valuable parts of many students’ university experiences.

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It’s worth making it explicit here that SSAF isn’t just about creating these events, but also making them easily accessible to all students – including those from disadvantaged backgrounds.

SSAF spreads culture and community – valuable parts of the human condition.

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SSAF funds student advocacy.

Lobbying for students’ rights (including keeping fees affordable, etc.) is aided by SSAF. I’d like to hope I don’t have to articulate why affordable university fees will probably benefit most students significantly.

So let’s weigh that up in summary.

The cost of SSAF is a fairly insignificant amount of money, and the emotional harm of an eyesore. The benefit of having it is basic rights guaranteed for many, a much more vibrant and fulfilling student culture (and more universal access to these cultural experiences), and student lobbying. If we’re concerned about autonomy and freedom, SSAF is clearly up on this count.

It should also be mentioned that my above analysis is based on student life at the ANU. At regional or smaller university campuses, my understanding is that SSAF is used by student unions to subsidise basic services like food outlets on campus and stores. Is it autonomy to be able to purchase goods and services?

Yes. And SSAF facilitates that too!

The other (and perhaps more reasonable) concern students have is that SSAF is spent poorly.

It should be noted that even if this were true, the empirical fact is also that much of SSAF goes towards the fundamental rights and experiences mentioned above; slightly inefficient spending of some negligible money seems a trifling concern, compared again to the wealth of benefits SSAF guarantees. To those still troubled about this point, it is also worth mentioning that students have the direct ability to scrutinise SSAF expenditure, by reading the ANUSA financial reports, by voting in the ANUSA elections, et cetera.

Ideology is fine, and it is valuable that we have discussion about important issues like student spending. But let’s not frame everything in one-liners and buzzwords about freedom and inefficiency: let’s make some real arguments, and actually engage with SSAF as it is, and not how it is imagined in the nightmares of libertarians.

W

WORONI No.12 Vol.67

//COMMENT

ANU’S

POWER LIST 2 015

COMMENT Last year Woroni published its first Power List (see: http:// www.woroni.com.au/features/ anu-power/). There was plenty of debate about the rankings which was great because the list was made in the hope that you would ask questions, and discuss/debate the performance of those who have significant influence over your ANU student experience.

Here are the picks for 2015:

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Gareth Evans, Chancellor (no. 6 in 2014)

The Chancellor has secured his hold over the University by being reappointed for a further 3 year term earlier this year. The official line was that “the early reappointment of Professor Evans would ensure continuity for the university community over the period of transition from ViceChancellor Professor Ian Young to the next Vice-Chancellor”, but many know that Evans would’ve stayed on either way. Evans has just made his second appointment of a VC which now puts him equal with H.C Coombs in being Chancellor of three different VCs (Chubb, Young, and Schmidt).

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Brian Schmidt, Nobel Laureate and next Vice Chancellor (no. 4 in 2014)

ANU’s star academic has risen again in the ranks. The next Vice Chancellor of ANU is an internationally recognised academic star (pun intended).

There are questions about some of Schmidt’s ideas for ANU’s future, with some arguing that his vision for the ANU (outlined in a major public lecture he delivered over a year ago) is too elitist. On the other hand, Schmidt is one of the most approachable people at the ANU and is widely known as someone deeply committed to supporting students and staff.

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ARETI METUAMATE can get and keep the University in a healthy financial position.

Last year we ranked Grange at no. 9 because he was relatively new and had not yet shown that he had influence and reach across the campus. That has very much changed and any department head or senior administrator at ANU will tell you that Grange plays a huge role behind the scenes whenever $ is involved.

Ian Young, Vice-Chancellor (no.1 in 2014)

Usually the ‘CEO’ of ANU comes in at number one, but having announced his intention to retire at the end of the year, Young has effectively demoted himself in the University power ranks. It’s worth noting that our sources tell us that Young would have been reappointed for a further term if he wanted to be, as he was highly valued by the Chancellor and University Council (it is the University Council, made up of elected staff and students, and government appointees, that employs the VC).

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Professor Kiaran Kirk, Dean of the College of Medicine, Biology & Environment (no.7 in 2014)

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Professor Shirley Leitch, Dean of the College of Business and Economics

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Richard Baker, Pro ViceChancellor (Student Experience)

Kirk is very popular with both staff and students (voted ANU’s best lecturer of 2013). He served on the University Council as a staff rep during the time of the appointment of the current VC and has been a close confidante to Professor Young ever since, with Young recognising his abilities and promoting him to Dean last year. Kirk is also close to fellow Canberran Brian Schmidt and will have his ear for sure, possibly over a glass of vino (Schmidt is also local wine maker and Kirk is Chair of Clonakilla wines, a family business started by his father).

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Marnie Hughes-Warrington & Margaret Harding, Deputy Vice-Chancellors (Marnie no.2 in 2014, and Margaret no.6) Hughes-Warrington is a Rhodes Scholar who was recently appointed Head of Rhodes in Australia. She and Harding make a formidable team with each of them bringing very different skills and experiences to their roles.

Both are known for not suffering fools lightly, but Harding also has witty sense of humour and is known as a bit of a prankster around the Chancelry. The more serious Hughes-Warrington is ambitious and seen as a future VC, but the very dedicated mother has a daughter (who former Woroni Editor Vincent Chiang described as a genius and talented debater) still in school so she may not be seeking to leave Canberra until her daughter graduates.

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Chris Grange, Executive Director of Administration and Planning (no.9 in 2014)

While most readers of this paper will have idea who Chris Grange is, or what his long job title means, Grange is the ANU’s money man.

His portfolio is broader than that, but his focus is making sure he

Leitch is a former DVC under Ian Young at Swinburne. The communications savvy Leitch has made a name for herself in the social media world with a very active Twitter account tweeting about #eLearning, #highered, and #gamification.

The PVC Student Experience would not normally be a role that features high on a university power list, but Baker has connections across the campus like no other person in a senior management role ever has. Baker is one of four

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PVCs at the University, all of whom are members of the University Executive. In many ways, the PVCs are the foot-soldiers for the VC and his deputies, but Baker is an ANU stalwart having studied and taught here for over 20 years.

He is widely connected across the student body and is seen as the approachable face of the Chancelry, a role that gives him access and intell by students that no one else gets.

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Jane O’Dwyer, Director of Strategic Communications and Public Affairs

O’Dwyer is ANU’s media and PR guru. It is often her words printed in newspapers across Australia (although usually spoken by someone else for whom she has written the script). She is a key lobbyist on the ANU’s behalf at the state and national level and as a former political staffer her connections across the political spectrum are impressive.

O’Dwyer’s portfolio gives her the authority to operate across the entire ANU but it is her personal style and broad experience that brings clout and influence to her office.

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Ben Gill, ANUSA President & Chris Wilson, PARSA President

The two student presidents serve on the University Council and both represent organizations that receive generous Student Services & Amenities Fee funding (ANUSA gets around $1.4 million and PARSA around $920,000).

The presidents enjoy easy access and regular meetings with the VC, DVCs and Richard Baker. If they work together (which is not always a guarantee), especially alongside the Editor-in-Chief of Woroni, they have the ability to influence significant decisions in the ANU.

W

Week 6, Semester 2, 2015.

//COMMENT

THE MOST

INFLUENTIAL INTERNATIONAL STUDENT CLUBS AT ANU COMMENT International students are an integral part of life on-campus. Not only do they constitute at least a quarter of the student body, but when they come to study in Canberra, they bring a part of their homeland with them. International student clubs organise a dizzying array of social, cultural, academic and sporting events that enrich university life, and bring together both domestic and international students. Certain clubs and societies exert outsized influence on campus life. So who are the biggest players at the ANU? In the spirit of this week’s edition of Woroni focusing on all things power and politics on campus, this reporter has done some research to find out for you.

Great Powers

Asian Students in Australia Association Since its inception in July 2012, the Asian Students in Australia Association (ASIAA) has grown in leaps and strides.

Originally envisioned as a clu b aimed at catering to Asian-Australian students, ASIAA has successfully repositioned itself to bring together Asians of all backgrounds.

With some of the best use of social media and marketing (and dress sense) of any student club, ASIAA’s social events have redefined cool. It displays an incredible ability to constantly reinvent itself, with its calendar featuring permanent sellout events like its annual Birthday Party, Boat Cruise and Cocktail Night along with new events like Sundae Night and Lasertag & Gelato. ASIAA’s events are usually linked with a specific theme, adding to the vitality of its social calendar.

With extraordinary ambition to be the best, in just three years ASIAA has risen to the top tier of international student clubs at ANU. Malaysian Students’ Organisation No list of the most influential international student clubs at the ANU would be complete without the Malaysian Students’ Organisation (MSO). MSO was recognised at the end of 2014 as Runner Up for Club of the Year at ANUSA’s Clubs and Societies Awards Night. Under the leadership of President Tan Wen Xin in 2015, MSO has continued its extraordinary momentum. This year, it was Runner Up for Most Active Club at the Council of International Students’ Australia (CISA) Excellence Awards.

MSO’s calendar of events features an impressive array of high-quality social, cultural, academic and sporting events that reflects the diversity of Malaysia.

These include Eid and Chinese New Yearthemed Welcome Parties, a Badminton Open competition, Bubble Soccer, Career Information Session and a trip to Skyfire, Canberra’s annual fireworks

ANDALEEB AKHAND extravaganza.

MSO is also an eager and willing partner with other organisations. MSO has been well-represented in the wider ANU community, participating in large-scale events including UniLodge Lunar New Year, Dragon Night Market, The Night Market, PARSA Big Day and the Eid alFitr Festival.

Singapore Students’ Association After the stellar work of previous executives, winning Best Club of the Year (2013) and Joint Event of the Year (2014), SSA’s executive in 2015 had a tough act to follow in maintaining the high calibre of one of ANU’s leading international student clubs. Under the leadership of President Ryan Lim however, this year’s committee has risen to the challenge.

SSA has displayed immense skill in being able to address specific needs of the Singaporean community while promoting the best of Singapore to the wider student body. Its active calendar of events has included biannual Welcome Evenings, a movie night, careers information session and Singapore’s Golden Jubilee celebration. 2015 has also been a year of reflection and remembrance, with SSA paying tribute in a moving ceremony to Singapore’s first Prime Minister and founding father Lee Kuan Yew, who passed away in March this year.

SSA has most prominently established its claim to fame with The Night Market, which was held at the beginning of May. Touted as the ANU’s greatest food event, this year The Night Market brought together 23 student clubs and societies and attracted nearly 1000 people. The fact that SSA was able to handle the enormous logistics of this event with virtually no hiccups is a testament to their professionalism and commitment to excellence.

Middle Powers

ASEAN Society Under the leadership of President Haseeb Ikram in 2015, the ANU ASEAN Society has continued its rise to power as a student club that promotes Southeast Asia socially, culturally and academically.

Spearheaded by Contents Director Jayshendra Karunakaren, the ASEAN Society’s academic portfolio has been visibly strengthened, hosting wellattended public lectures on the South China Sea and Myanmar’s 2015 general election, as well as a visit to the Royal Thai Embassy.

While strengthening its academic portfolio, ASEAN Society has sought to maintain its social and cultural profile, with biannual Welcome Parties, movie and trivia events, a dessert and games

night, participating in Lunar New Year and The Night Market and co-hosting CAP Ball.

EKTA EKTA, the South Asian Students’ Society, has had a longstanding reputation across the ANU for many of its regular annual events, including Holi, the EKTA Cultural Show and EKTA Ball. Getting an EKTA Ball ticket, as previous attendees can attest, can often be harder than getting the tutorial slot you want at the beginning of semester; tickets usually sell out in only a few hours.

Not content to rest on its laurels however, EKTA 2015 has sought to expand to new and exciting horizons. In a statement by the Society’s Vice President of Administration at the beginning of the academic year, Suraj Laha stated: “We want all students of ANU to get involved with EKTA’s events and share the culture of South Asia with everyone.”

This year EKTA hosted a Bonfire Night to raise much needed funds for the Fred Hyde CO-ID Foundation (to help build schools in disadvantaged communities in Bangladesh) and Relief for Nepal given recent earthquake tragedies. It has tapped into the popularity of the Indian subcontinent’s most popular sport, screening the ICC Cricket World Cup match between Pakistan and India, and the finals played between New Zealand and Australia.

EKTA has, most impressively, negotiated an array of sponsorship deals for its members with a variety of local businesses, including PappaRich, Pancake Parlour, Gods Café, Delhi 6 and Chatime. This undoubtedly makes EKTA membership one of the best value for money among ANU student clubs.

Indonesian Students’ Association The Indonesian Students’ Association (ISA) has continued to promote Indonesian culture at the ANU through an array of academic, social and cultural events, including Welcoming parties, public lectures and Indonesian language exchange.

Most notably, towards the end of Semester 1, the ISA screened the award-winning 2013 Indonesian documentary Jalanan (“Streetside”). Jalanan tells the story of Boni, Ho & Titi, three gifted, charismatic street musicians in Jakarta over a tumultuous 5-year period in their own lives and that of Indonesia. Screened with much acclaim in Indonesia, and recipient of many international awards, including the 2013 Busan International Film Festival award for Best Documentary, in recent months it has been shown in cities around Australia. Screening at the ANU to a packed-out Coombs Lecture Theatre, almost $2000 was raised to find Boni, Ho

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& Titi a permanent home.

With a jam-packed Semester 2 planned, ISA’s ascent can only continue.

Japan Club For anyone interested in Japanese culture, Japan Club is the go-to place. With iconic events like its Hajimari Welcome Party, Sukiyaki Night and Cosplay Party, Japan Club sets the standard when it comes to what’s happening on campus.

Not enough for you? Try the fact that Japan Club has movie screenings and language exchange every week. Oh yeah, did I mention that they have their own softball team as well? Yep, ANU Phoenix are a force to be reckoned with when you put them on the softball pitch with baseball bats and mitts.

All in all, Japan Club is a pretty gangster group, and if you haven’t made their acquaintance yet, what are you waiting for?

Taiwanese Students’ Association A determined and passionate 2015 committee has been busy bringing the best of Taiwan to ANU. While continuing its traditional fun events like its semesterly Welcome Parties and Skyfire picnic, TSA has also experimented with new events to build more interactions in Canberra’s Taiwanese community. Its “Taiwan Connect” event last semester brought together Taiwanese with guest speakers from the Taipei Economic and Cultural Office in Australia.

With new committee recruitment this semester, expect more fun and exciting times with the TSA. Vietnamese Students’ Association After successfully hosting the Vietnamese Cultural Festival in October 2014, which saw several hundred people in attendance in Union Court and was shortlisted for Special Event of the Year at ANUSA’s Clubs and Societies Awards Night, VSA has shown that for them, the sky is the limit.

VSA has continued its winning streak with events this year including hosting Universal Lunch Hour, a Welcome Party at iPho, a food fundraiser and a BBQ & Games afternoon.

Most impressively, the VSA committee has negotiated sponsorship deals with several Canberra businesses, including many regularly patronised by ANU students, such as PappaRich, The Gods Café and Dessert Castle, as well as two Vietnamese restaurants.

Expect more great things to come from the VSA; they will probably not only meet your expectations, but well exceed them.

Cards Against ANU

It’s a pity that first years these days are all getting involved with ________.

WORONI

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When Christopher Pyne finally overthrows the Empire and abolishes HECS, how will students pay for their degrees?

WORONI

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This year, the UniLodge “community spirit” fund was spent on ________.

WORONI

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I’m sorry Professor, I didn’t complete my assignment because of ________.

WORONI

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Instead of Brodburger, ________ is coming to campus.

WORONI

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Last weekend I walked into the Acads bathrooms and saw ________.

WORONI

WORONI

How does Richard Baker enforce the patriarchy?

Cards Against ANU

WORONI

What really lives inside the giant puppet of Tony Abbott?

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When I am President of ANUSA, I will create the Department of ________.

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WORONI

After Ian Young cut all the funding for ANU Music school, all the funding went to ________.

Cards Against ANU

WORONI

What is Jack Gaudie’s guilty pleasure?

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Jacob Ingram forgot to fully disclose ________.

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The new Pajenka’s menu will feature ________.

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WORONI

The best way to avoid election hacks at Union Court is ________.

Why is Ian Young retiring?

WORONI

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The one non-law student at Burgmann is probably ________.

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WORONI

Classifieds: Stereotypical Johns boy seeking ________.

Cards Against ANU

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Instead of branded jelly beans, this year ANUSA spent $5000 on ________.

Cards Against ANU

WORONI

After chlamydia, the most common things at Johns is ________.

Cards Against ANU

WORONI

________ at Moose.

Cards Against ANU

WORONI

As well as smoking on campus, ANU has also banned ________.

Cards Against ANU

W

Week 6, Semester 2, 2015.

//COMMENT

HACKTIVISM

IS IN OUR INTEREST COMMENT It’s election time! Are you excited?

Has someone tried to sell you a used car, I mean a how to vote card, in Union Court? One thing that people always discuss at this time of year is how everyone running for an executive position on ANUSA is “just a <expletive> hack”. Two questions: is this true? And is it a problem? I’d say the answer to both is no.

What even is a hack? I can think of a few defining features. A hack is probably affiliated with a major political party despite being barely over the drinking age, and they perhaps care a lot about making a start on their political career. Perhaps such people should worry because if you get through university without changing your values you’ve probably had a limited educational experience. Setting your values in stone from the outset doesn’t exactly set you up for success.

MARK FABIAN things like facilities, mental health services and responding to SELT evaluations, are taken care of by the university. Ideology can’t enter into such procedural tasks, so someone’s party affiliation has no bearing on their competence.

What about hacks just wanting to get ahead ‒ should that worry us? I presume that getting ahead politically requires demonstrating that you are competent, so here our interests as students seem aligned with those of the hacks working in ANUSA.

But should that worry us? How many of the things that ANUSA does actually come under the ideological purview of the major parties? A left wing party might want free education. That’s stupid because it’s not fiscally sustainable and it makes students seem flagrantly selfinterested. A right winger might want full fee deregulation. That’s not a position any ANU student union executive has ever supported, not even the ones with a few Liberals scattered about the place. Given the absence of both these positions in recent times, I fail to see the nefarious influence of hacktivism.

Let’s go deeper and ask whether ANUSA wannabes are even hacks?

Looking at the LinkedIn profiles of the last 10 odd years of presidents I see only two people who sustained a year in the role and are now clearly on political career tracks. Others have gone on to complete doctorates in law at Oxford, manage mamamia. com, graduate law jobs, not-for-

Most of what ANUSA does is rather banal managerial and administrative work: principally allocating some funds here and there according to a fairly clear set of non-partisan principles and organising piss-ups.

Really critical items, I’m thinking of

profits in the education sector, education consultancy work and Boston Consulting Group. These are hardly partisan career choices.

Another ironic note: one of our hack former presidents was Tully Fletcher.

His legacy at ANUSA was to give Woroni independence, arguably as a gimmick to get elected. Yet it’s one of the only major policy reforms to come out of ANUSA in the past decade and it has been excellent in practice. It was also against his interests at the time because the editors disliked him. His executive’s other contribution was the establishment of Griffin Hall.

Not too shabby. So again, hacktivism seems to be in our interests.

WHY YOU AND THE ANUSA ELECTIONS MATTER IN THE END COMMENT The two words “ANUSA Elections” can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. To some, it can mean the pinnacle of student involvement, providing a forum for us everyday WORONI students to have a say by voting for our favourite party, comprised of people just like us with an idea of how to make things better. It can mean an opportunity to unleash your political motivations and outspokenness, and be a part of policy development that will benefit the university community, which you are so passionate to look after. Or it can mean a few weeks of dodging over-friendly strangers in bright shirts, by whipping out your phone to appear lost in a very important fake conversation, or rushing through union court, because you simply cannot be late for this essential lecture in which you’ll spend the majority of the time scrolling through your Facebook feed and wishing you had stopped at

GABRIELE NAKTINYTE Degree to pick up a large Chai Latte to just get you through the day. But the important thing to remember about issues of how this university is run, and student involvement, is that this is the environment where future leaders are born, and even though we may not realise it now, the decisions we make today will most likely define us and influence the person we end up being.

the way to class will most likely take those annoying skills of relentless advertising and blind ambition into their careers of choice. Therefore, if you want a future where everyone has a chance to pursue their goals, and a future free of nonsensical social stigma, you need to act, and live your life now, accordingly.

In the world around us today, we see that in total, in our parliaments across both houses and our federal and state governments, only 30% of the representatives are women. We live in a world where statistically, your life expectancy is predicted to be 10.6 years lower than someone else, because of the colour of your skin. We also live in a country currently led by a man who thought it appropriate to be photographed alongside political slogans of “Ditch the Witch” and “Juliar is Bob Brown’s Bitch” (sic), when running against a

The people we see today, actively participating in university politics and those leading committees and initiatives are the people learning that their merits deserve to be recognised, learning how to drive themselves and how to be ambitious and hungry enough to strive for what they want.

The outcomes of these lessons, whether we as individuals learn them or not, will have significant effects on the roads we take as life goes on, as those people you avoid on

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fellow politician, who often didn’t deserve praise for her own leadership decisions, but certainly bore the brunt of misogynistic challenges, not only from her opposition, but from the society who elected her.

We are going to be the generation with the chance to change what we see now. As we grow up, we will have the choice to shift directions from the past, into the future we want. But to do that then, we need to take the steps forward to becoming those people who can do it, now. We won’t do that by sitting back, and pretending that we can’t do anything about the issues that enrage us. It is always worthwhile to participate in things that will, to whatever extent, affect you, so if you want a brighter future, you need to take the small steps today, to benefit our community, within the ANU and beyond.

Cards Against ANU

Jock Webb complimenting you on your outfit and so you blush for a week

WORONI

Cards Against ANU

Uni Pub’s $2.50 drinks coming up as quick as they go down

WORONI

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Being a wellprepared mature-age student

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WORONI

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Cis scum

WORONI

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Jock Webb just generally being beautiful

WORONI

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Poking holes in Woroni condoms

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Alex Bell-Rowe’s chest hair

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Horses by Darrell Braithwaite

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Ian Young’s moustache bouncing as he open-palm slaps his secretary on the ass

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Making sweet eye-love to Ryan Goss

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Wearing your ANU Law jumper because you want to hit on first year arts students

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________, because you’re a #thoughtleader

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I once found ________ in the basement of Hancock Library.

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The funny tasting meat at Zambrero’s is really ________.

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Precious Earthfuelled drunk sex

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Judging regular students through your BNOCulars

The large cheering crowds at ANU Satyros comedy events

A casual vacancy at Woroni

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Cards Against ANU Week 6, Semester 2, 2015.

//COMMENT WORONI

Let’s ________.

Cards Against ANU

WORONI

What once got lost in the Chiffley basement?

Cards Against ANU

WORONI

What do you do to Woroni Radio in the background?

Cards Against ANU

Week 6, Semester 2, 2015.

W

//COMMENT

THE

D E PA R T M E N TA L MYSTIQUE COMMENT On the 17th of August, the Women’s Collective voted to not accept the nomination of Em Roberts as a candidate for the position of Women’s Officer. As per the Constitution, Ms Roberts asked for the Department’s acceptance of the nomination waiving the requirement under Section 8 of the ANUSA Constitution (governing Election of Department Officers) that states only ‘active’ members of the Department are eligible for candidacy, defined as having attended 3-meetings.

Following the Department’s rejection of the nomination, the decision was appealed to the ANUSA Disputes Committee. The Disputes Committee decided to uphold the Department’s decision, but have not yet released their reasoning.

Ms Roberts’ experience has brought to light some serious concerns with respect to internal processes of the Department.

It is from this platform that we chose to write this article; to bring to the attention of all female-identifying students how exactly the Department, that supposedly exists to represents them, views the democratic process and women’s right to vote.

While it is respected by the authors of this article that the Women’s Officer should have knowledge of the Department; it is resoundingly obvious that this was not at the forefront of Monday night’s decision.

The question was approached not as to if Ms Roberts was eligible from a Constitutional perspective, but whether the 15 ‘active’ members believed Ms Roberts was the ‘best fit’ for Women’s Officer. We argue that this question is one that only the ANU female-identifying cohort is apt to answer, not the exclusive clique currently ‘in charge’.

While Ms Roberts was not considered an ‘active’ member, the Department had an opportunity to open up this discussion to all women on campus, allowing the voters to decide if a Women’s Officer should and indeed needs to be a member of this notoriously exclusive Collective. It stands to reason why the Women’s

EM ROBERTS, LAUREN MURPHY & ZOE CAMERON Department has remained and continues to be so detached from the wider ANU female-identifying community. We raise the question: maybe the 15 ‘active’ members do not know what is best for the 5000 femaleidentifying undergraduates they represent. Unfortunately, they have missed the opportunity to engage those students in any such discussion.

But hey – that’s not what a democratic election is for, is it?

presume mismanagement if they were merely upholding what they believed were their Constitutional requirements. However, looking through the Constitution it seems striking that the Women’s department tends to pick and choose what sections of their Constitution they wish to uphold. While not accepting Ms Roberts’ nomination, the Women’s Collective is in current breach of several other Constitutional requirements.

During the Department meeting on Monday, the apparently ‘Open’ Loren Ovens, the current Women’s Officer, acted as the Returning Officer in the vote over Ms Roberts’ nomination. Disturbingly, Ms Ovens defended that there supposedly is an open election process – we however question what definition of ‘Open’ this VP Candidate holds. Ms Ovens defended the processes that had allowed for only one candidate to be nominated, claiming that there were “many other nominees” who had “put their hands up” for the position, but that the nominee to be endorsed by the Collective had been decided by “internal conversations”. In rejecting Ms Roberts’ nomination, the Women’s Officer for 2016 is now uncontested, and will go to Linnea Smith.

The Department fails to uphold the following provisions; 1. Notice and Agendas 6(5): ‘Notice of all Women’s Collective meetings must be given and requires; (a) Emailing the mailing list no later than 48 hours before the date of the meeting. The email must include the agenda of the meeting and any motion to be made; and (b) Placing a notice in the ANUSA Billboard.’ This has not happened in the last 3 years.

2. Requirement of Two Website Editors 4(b)(1) to serve One Semester 4(b)(5). There is currently only have 1, and she is serving for the whole year.

3. The Women’s Secretary is required to ‘Prepare a fortnightly newsletter reporting on matters of the department and other Canberra events.’ 4(d)3(d).

There has never been a newsletter published on the Facebook page or Website.

4. Floating Chair 6(6) provision for the conduct of meetings. This didn’t happen in this week’s Department meeting; we have never heard of it occurring.

This raises another concern: that the position has been so closed off from democratic process as to effectively give it to one person, groomed by the Collective; and that the position receives $5000 honoraria. There is currently talk in the ANUSA SRC to turn this honoraria into salary, akin to what the Executive receive. This is shocking given that for the last 4 years, and this year again, the position is given to someone groomed and selected within the Collective, rather than that person having to be elected by the women of campus. Were this to happen in the ANUSA Executive, there would be outcry from the student populace, and rightly so.

“Internal conversations” is not a good enough representation of women students.

The Department cannot only enforce the Constitution when it is convenient for perpetuating the interests of those currently in power. It cannot disregard some provisions while trying to enforce others, as it has done in this case to prevent an election in which all women-identifying students could have participated.

Moreover, it is greatly concerning that the ‘Roundup’ of the 1hour 20minute minute meeting (posted in the internal Women’s Department Facebook page) failed to mention the 40 minutes spent discussing Ms Roberts’ nomination.

We acknowledged that it would not be fair to the Women’s Collective to

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More alarmingly was the comment thread that ensued when several individuals requested the meeting’s minutes. It became sadly obvious that women not only felt that they previously had been unable to ask for the minutes for fear of ‘offending’, but apparently asking for minutes was considered an ‘attack’ to the supportive ‘safe space’ environment.

The autonomy of the Departments is crucial to ensuring that the voices of those groups who have been oppressed can be heard. However, autonomy is currently being used as a guise for exclusivity. The accumulation and granting of power within a small clique is at odds with what the Department should be doing, which is representing all women of campus. It is also increasingly damaging, as students continue to see the Women’s Department as an exclusive and single-minded clique.

The Women’s Department for the last half decade has been notoriously closed off. This is unlikely to change as long as it is seen as acceptable to use ‘internal lobbying’ rather than include the wider ANU female-identifying community in selecting candidates.

If you don’t allow for a voice and diverse input, you cannot expect that people will wish to participate. The Department needs to remember that a movement requires a range of voices, a group of passionate individuals and a collective goal to achieve change.

The Department is different from a society; you are not representing the views of your active members, you are representing the women of ANU. Does ANU’s Women’s Department no longer stand for what our Suffragettes gave us: a right to vote?

Cards Against ANU

Excessive amounts of Burgmann merch

WORONI

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The hot bartenders at The Coffee Grounds

WORONI

Cards Against ANU

Going on a Fishwyck run for cock rings

WORONI

WORONI

Cards Against ANU

Getting a sex-change to access the Rapunzel room

WORONI

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Having a boys’ night in Fishwyck because you’re a townie and can’t pick up college girls

WORONI

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Buying extra-large condoms from the hot scandinavian exchange students at ANU pharmacy

Cards Against ANU

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The sweet sound of your neighbour slamming their partner against the wall at 2am

Buying votes with Allen’s lollies

The campus trot circle-jerk of selfrighteousness

Cards Against ANU

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WORONI

The lady from ANU Bakery

Cards Against ANU

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Christopher Pyne’s lizard face

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Taking screen shots and sending them to people’s future employees

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Asking International Students where they’re *really* from

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Learning Mandarin because you want to pass Micro 1

Cards Against ANU

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Donating text books to UC because you feel sorry for them

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Making your election colour-scheme grey because you don’t want to win

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Ben Gill’s me-time

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Megan Lane

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Going to ANU because you couldn’t get into law at USyd

Cards Against ANU

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Thinking up new sex-positions because you’re a #thoughtleader

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Buying $1 Woolworths noodles because you can’t afford Mi Goreng

Cards Against ANU

LEARNING FROM TONY

COMMENT

MATTHEW LORD

It’s been a stormy few weeks for the Liberal party ship. Captain Tony and the crew left the political shelter that Bill Shorten and the Trade Union Royal Commission had provided, entering the murky waters of marriage equality and carbon emission reduction targets. These topics generally prove to be tricky sailing for Abbott and the Liberals at the best of times, but ships are all the more difficult to navigate when Bronwyn Bishop tries to land a helicopter on it.

have an age-old rhetoric for dealing with complex environmental issues, handed down through the conservative generations.

The latest revival of “greenie bashing” has seen Tony Abbott criticise green groups for “sabotaging” mining projects. Amongst other things, green organisations such as the Mackay Conservation Group, who organised the legal challenge to the minehave been accused of “lawfare” and “sabotage”, labelled as “vigilantes” who are against jobs and Australia more generally.

The recent blockage of the Adani Carmichael Mine Project in the federal court is yet another issue that hasn’t gone the Government’s way. The coal mine’s initial approval by Environment Minister Greg Hunt last week was overturned on the grounds that he did not adequately consider the impacts of the mine on two species, the Yakka Skink and the Ornamental Snake.

This political move has two main purposes.

Firstly, the Government is now looking to remove the legal mechanism that overturned the mine, using this anti-green rhetoric to build momentum. If they do so, the ability for green groups to oppose large scale development projects in the court system will be severely reduced.

Although this may be unlikely to actually eventuate, the Government nonetheless reassures foreign investors such as Adani

Fortunately for the Government, they

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that their economic development projects are welcome in Australia ‒ something the Government sees as particularly important at a time when international commodity prices are in free-fall and coal’s future as a key energy source looks uncertain.

Secondly, the traditional anti-green rhetoric reassures conservative voters who may not have been convinced of the Government’s performance of late, directing any blame for the Carmichael mine decision away from Abbott, and instead towards the conspiring green groups.

Will either of them work? Only time will tell, but it’s a pretty extreme picture that the Government is attempting to paint of organisations that, as many commentators are pointing out, have simply asked for the law to be enforced.

However, there are lessons to be learnt from this act of political opportunism. Last year

Illustration by Joanne Leong

around this time, the divestment referendum was looming large over students at the ANU. Together with opposing higher university fees, ANUSA parties were likewise united in supporting ANU’s divestment from coal.

This year however, the environmental policies of the major student political parties are virtually non-existent. For a university such as the ANU, in a city such as Canberra, both of which I consider generally supportive of the green agenda, this seems like a pretty big hole in the policy checklist.

And considering the state of ANU politics, where competition for votes has ensured nobody ever makes it through Union Court unscathed, it might be time for the student parties to update, or rather create, some of their own environmental policies for ANU. Why not partake in some political opportunism – minus the greenie bashing.

Cards Against ANU

The token boat shoewearing liberal in your politics class

WORONI

Cards Against ANU

Salty SELT reviews

WORONI

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Ian Young licking his moustache

WORONI

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Socialist Alternative single-handedly saving Palestine

WORONI

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The sweet smell of big mac on their breath as they take you home from Mooseheads at 4am

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WORONI

Michael Hellessey’s live feed

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WORONI

Homo-erotic massages at ANU sport

A trigger warning

The “secret” bromance between Ian Young and Brian Schmidt

Cards Against ANU

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Not fitting in at Burgmann because daddy only bought you one yacht

Cards Against ANU

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Subtley racist chicken in the Ursies dining room

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#gotintoANU t-shirts

Cards Against ANU

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Asking International Students where they’re *really* from

Cards Against ANU

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Being the only Asian cast-member of the Miss Saigon Musical

Cards Against ANU

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Meeting your life partner at gender-free speed-dating

Cards Against ANU

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Richard Baker’s heavy breathing

Cards Against ANU

WORONI

Watching your neighbour’s vomit resurface in your sink because you live at Johns College

Cards Against ANU

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Goon of fortune

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WORONI

The ripe aroma of the Computer Science Common Room during exams

Cards Against ANU

WORONI

Procrastinating furiously over your first-year torts assignment

Cards Against ANU

WORONI

Always having a condom in your wallet because you’re #ready

Cards Against ANU

HOW TO BECOME A BIG NAME ON CAMPUS: A K A , H OW T O S E L L YO U R S O U L HUMOUR & SATIRE Amidst the thousands of students at the ANU, there remain a select few who command an eclectic combination of awe and pity. These are the Big Names on Campus (acronym: BNOC), the people whom everyone kind of knows.

Many will run away at the first sighting of a BNOC (in fear of them asking you to join yet another student organisation); others, however, are intrigued by them, baffled by how somebody can have achieved so much infamy in the trifling absurdities of student life.

Would you like to become a BNOC? The choice is not an easy one, and it comes with it a host of perils (mostly in the form of reactions: see the above paragraph).

But if you are certain of your purpose, then read on, because this is the guide for you: Step 1: Find the BNOC Type For You. Recognise that there are a number of different types of BNOC that you can be.

Not everybody who is famous is involved in student politics. For example, many ex-Woroni editors have been BNOCs, despite no involvement with ANUSA

CLYDE STRIFE are the kind of person who wants to become a BNOC, this is probably not a particularly challenging or difficult thing to do. Basically, once you’ve started to make it into the BNOC circles, you want to find ways of inflating your profile. Get your friends to start writing about you in Woroni articles. Make viral videos and photos, and get friends to post them on Stalkerspace. Tell your friends to like things that you upload and post. The beauty of Facebook Comment/Like Culture is that people are massive bandwagoners: as soon as they perceive others seeing you as a “thing”, they’ll all join in on believing.

(I told you this was a guide to “How To Sell Your Soul”)

whatsoever. Find the niche you want to build infamy in. Some suggestions (apart from Woroni) include being made a senior member of a hall or residence, becoming part of the Student Housing Co-Op, joining debating/Model UN, becoming involved in theatre, or trolling Stalkerspace.

Step 2: Suck Up or Bulk Up (Your Resume). To find true BNOC status, you must first gain the acceptance of the other BNOCs. But to gain the acceptance of other BNOCs, you need to stand out to them at some level; after all, why should they pass their BNOC status on to you, of all the thousands of ANU undergrads? A classic way of getting BNOC status, therefore, is to put yourself out there, and to be keen to get involved in anything and everything, no matter how degrading. Alternatively, if you suck at packing up and cleaning, just attend anything and everything. For some reason, people confuse ubiquity with competence; trust me, I can speak from personal experience.

Step 4: Make Fun Of Yourself. This is probably counter-intuitive, but it kind of feeds into step 3. Basically, the more in-jokes you have about yourself, or the more you seem to have the confidence to draw attention to your past silliness, the more people seem to find you endearing and prominent. This tactic is particularly favoured by older BNOCs, who (in the process of fading away) will continually

Step 3: Build a Cult Around You. If you

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Illustration by Joanne Leong

make desperate jokes about how they are still relevant.

Step 5: Never Graduate. Want to know how somebody has so many “friends”?

It’s because they’ve just stuck around for so long that, combined with steps 1-4, there’s no way of not knowing them.

Also, taking seven years to complete an Arts/Science degree will create more jokes for you to make about yourself, feeding directly into Step 4 again. Talk about efficiency.

There are obviously more components to the mystical BNOC formula, but for the young Padawans out there, this is a clear way to start. Godspeed; and remember, if you never become a BNOC, it’s still okay. At least you’ll still have self-respect.

Cards Against ANU Basic Rules

To start the game, each player draws 5 white cards.

The person dealing plays a Black Card. He or she reads the question of the fill-in-the-blank phrase on the Black Card out loud.

Everyone else answers the question or fills in the blank by passing one White Card, face down.

The cards are shuffled and the answers are shared with the group. For full effect, re-read the Black Card before presenting each answer. The person who drew the black card picks the funniest answer, and whoever submitted it gets a point.

After the roound, everyone who played a White Card draws a new one, and the next player draws a new Black Card.

The fap-fap of your neighbour jerking off in the shower-cubicle next to you in college

WORONI

Cards Against ANU Circle-jerking in law tutorials

Cards Against ANU Brian Schmidt using the telescope at Mt Stromlo to eye-up women on campus

WORONI

Cards Against ANU The deliciously confronting truth of yellow townie teeth

Cards Against ANU Liking old photos of ANUSA candidates so they get more visibility on their newsfeeds

WORONI

Cards Against ANU Searching your own name on ANU crushes

WORONI

Cards Against ANU Just another fucking student rally

WORONI

Cards Against ANU Borrowing a book from Chifley basement and having to unstick all the pages

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Submitting an ANU Crush to yourself

Doing an Honours year because you fell in love with your tutor

Schmidt happens

Ben Gillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beanie

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Week 6, Semester 2, 2015.

//COMMENT

HAC K S, HAC K S

E V E R Y W H E R E !

COMMENT

YIFEI HUANG

With the ANUSA elections fast approaching, everyone has their eyes on political hacking, though recently we’ve seen hacking of the technological kind take the spotlight.

Just last month Ashley Madison, the “have an affair” website, made headlines for the (even more so) wrong reasons, with computer hackers releasing personal data of website members. Another recent story which may have gone unnoticed, was car hacking, where thieves were able to break into cars remotely and take control. If a person was directly affected by both these events, think of the horrible inconvenience they would have faced ‒ unable to drive away from their furious spouse because their car had been stolen. At least Tiger Woods got to drive away before he crashed into a tree!

Ashley Madison’s data was retrieved from secure servers and posted onto the “deep web”; a division of the internet only accessible by certain browsers ‒ sort of like the top shelf in a pantry, where you have to be tall enough to reach it. On the other hand, the cars were hacked remotely using specialized electronic devices, which “listened” to the radio transmission between the car and its remote key.

They were then able to determine the digital key. Both of these technologies rely on encryption, where information is represented in a different form.

To “read” the encryption a certain method or algorithm must be used.

Codes and ciphers are common terms that come to mind when talking about encryption and cryptography, which contrary to common belief, are technically not the same. A code can take any form to represent

data, while a cipher often has the same number of characters as the original information. For example, the plaintext “Let’s procrastinate till tomorrow” may be coded as “XBOX2NITE”, but the ciphertext would remain the same length with each letter being exchanged for another.

I’m sure these stories would have made some of you think, “How safe and secure is the world we live in?”. There has always been a balance between convenience and security, since prioritizing one inevitably means compromising on the other in some way. We can even see this happening on an everyday level; almost everyone has a mountain of passwords and identify verifications involved in their lives, designed to keep their information

secure. However it is often a large inconvenience trying to remember the string of random letters and symbols protecting our data ‒ since we all know better than to have “password” as our password!

It is important that we keep in mind that security breaches like those reported in the news are a rarity; almost every form of technology designed to protect your data, is secure to some extent. There do exist highly technical methods to ensure greater security, especially when you’re online, but using some common sense goes a long way towards protecting your information.

So the next time you’re at McDonalds, turn off your phone’s WiFi and enjoy that Big Mac.

A VOTE FOR

R E A S O N COMMENT

MAXWELL JONES

The ANUSA election season is upon us, and with it a mountain of ambitions and promises. When it comes to considering the arguments of each candidate, it is essential we put aside emotion and consider the facts. To quote Bertrand Russell: “When you are studying any matter, or considering any philosophy, ask yourself only what are the facts and what is the truth that the facts bear out.”

In this way, we prevent ourselves from falling into the trap of believing what we want to believe. It is the dream of most school children to have a life without homework, though no reasonable person would vote for the kid who promised to abolish it.

“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.”

- Albert Einstein Over the last century, based reasoning has

evidence become

increasingly prevalent in society, often overshadowing illogical thought. At the root of this is science, a discipline built on uncovering the truth through unbiased investigation. Despite this triumph of scientific reason, we still have a long way to go before Stone Age thinking stays where it belongs, in the Stone Age. “By all means let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.”

- Richard Dawkins A critical step in this process, is appointing rational thinkers to positions of power. To see what happens when this guideline is ignored, we need look no further than our own backyard; more specifically to Tony Abbott. In his book Battlelines, he states: “Climate change is a relatively new political issue.”

Here he is distorting a scientific theory, supported by countless evidence, into a question of politics, subjecting

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it to non-existent debate based on personal beliefs. Five years after that statement was made, the carbon tax was abolished, putting Australia at the back of the international community, in terms of handling climate change.

If nothing else, this demonstrates the destructive power of abandoning reason, as denying man made climate change in the 21st century is equivalent to denying the Earth is round.

“Science is a way of thinking much more than it is a body of knowledge.”

- Carl Sagan To understand how illogical thinkers can find themselves in positions of power, we can consider fallacies that are manipulative in nature. One type is appeal to emotion, which replaces relevant discussion with emotional targeting. Another is appeal to unqualified authority, where “experts” in a field are quoted to support a false argument. There is also what is known

as a slippery slope, which is used to claim a harmless event will produce a “snow ball” of progressively more harmful events.

“Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.”

- Steven Hawking Although the outcome of the ANUSA election won’t influence world policy, it is still essential we elect candidates who display rational qualities. By establishing a high standard for representatives at this lower level, it is reasonable to conclude that the same standard will be reflected in future politicians.

If a candidate cannot support their claims with evidence, then those claims should be disposed of, regardless of any emotions they might invoke. Don’t be the person who voted for the kid that promised to abolish your homework.

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WORONI No.12 Vol.67

//LIFE & STYLE

A M O U T H F U L O F WA R M ,

STICKY… LIFE & STYLE

The cold of the winter comes along and we all put on those extra few kilos. Our jeans feel a little snugger and our layers of sweaters, cardigans and down jackets create the illusion of mere heavy clothing. But we know this not to be the case.

Under all those garments is actually a little flab. Borne of the deliciousness of hot chips and countless hot chocolates with marshmallows, our fat cells generate warm within our beings and a little thing known as comfort.

Whether it is Netflix or the latest episode of ANU Stalkerspace’s “ANUSA Elections 2015”, fulfilling soul-food can make even the most nightmarish feelings dissipate, although they mightn’t be the best solution for our weight loss dreams.

Now, I do think I speak for many people when I say that, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn”, because I really don’t. The beauty of the cooler months is that we can eat whatever inspiriting, warming food we want without having any need to

PUDDING

PAROKSH PRASAD

Sticky Date Pudding

show off sculpted arms or chiselled abs (not that I have either of these even in the summer, anyway). You can enjoy that morsel of food for what it is truly worth.

Time: 30 minutes Yield: 15 muffin-sized puddings Cost: Low

With the wane of the summer sun and the fortunate exodus of footy shorts and thongs, so also dies the infamous adage, “A moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips”.

Comfortable in knowing that winter is meant for indulging, I can share with you one of my winter secrets – my Sticky Date Pudding.

Ingredients

½ cup chopped dates ½ cup water ¼ t bi-carb soda 2 cups self-raising flour ¾ cup brown sugar 1 egg 1 cup milk ¼ cup vegetable oil

Method

Puddings, in all their various forms, are the ultimate Western wintery dessert.

Chocolate or bread, fruity or rich, puddings tend to bring on all those warm, fuzzy feelings necessary on a bitter winter ’s eve. Served with ice cream, the juxtaposition of warm and luscious with cold and velvety is a sensation on the tongue that will cause you to salivate. My Sticky Date definitely will.

1

Combine water and dates in a saucepan and bring to the boil.

2

Remove from the heat and add bi-carb soda. Stand for 5 minutes.

3

Sift flour into a mixing bowl.

Stir in the date mixture, sugar, egg, milk and oil.

4 5

Divide evenly into muffin trays.

Cook for 20 minutes at 190°C or until a skewer can be removed cleanly.

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Butterscotch Sauce Time: 5 minutes Yield: Enough puddings Cost: Low

to

smother

Ingredients 60 g butter, cubed 300 mL cream 1½ cups brown sugar

Method

1 2 3

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan.

Stir until butter melts and sugar dissolves.

Simmer for 5 minutes on a moderately low heat – be careful not to burn the bottom

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Week 6, Semester 2, 2015.

//LIFE & STYLE

A SUPPLEMENTARY GUIDE FOR THE GYM GOER JAK McALISTER

LIFE & STYLE In 2012, Forbes recorded the supplement industry’s net revenue at US $32 billion and expected it to rise to US $60 billion by the year 2021. Gym goers have flocked to nutrition stores looking to gain the edge in their pursuit for the “ideal body”.

However, nutrition stores can be an extremely daunting and expensive place for anyone new to the scene and with little knowledge.

They will try to market you all types of suspicious forms of powders and liquids you’ve never heard of. So if you’re a new lifter, casual lifter looking to get serious or a seasoned lifter and need some tips, read on.

xWhey proteins are the most common form of powders and are naturally sourced formulas containing amino acids, which make up different proteins, and subsequently muscle. It is the purest form of protein available and designed for quick digestion, taking up to 30 minutes after a workout, as your body is looking for nutrients. A post workout shake feeds your muscles the nutrition it needs and will aid in recovery, size and strength. WPI has a higher percentage of pure protein than WPC, so opt for a WPI if given the choice. You can purchase good quality WPI’s usually for $1-$2 per serving.

The first rule of supplements is they are just that, supplements, they are meant to be used with a well-balanced diet and proper exercise plan. There’s no doubt about it, supplements definitely will help you achieve and even exceed your goals; however, it all stems from a solid diet and exercise plan for without these, you will not see results.

Massgainer proteins are formed from a WPI base and act in an almost identical way. The difference here is these are for people who struggle to put on any significant size due to a high metabolism. Massgainers usually have more protein per serving along with added fast digesting carbohydrates, to give your body extra fuel. Stay away from these if you have a hard time losing weight as you’ll find yourself packing on more fat than muscle. Keep an eye on sugar content as manufacturers add sugar to raise the carbs – aim for under 30g sugar.

Protein Powders Protein powders are the staple of any good lifters supplementation. No matter what skill level or how serious you are, a good protein powder is essential. There are three main types of protein powders: whey protein isolate/ concentrate (WPI/WPC), WPI mass gainers and casein protein.

overnight and I would only recommend this to the most serious of lifters.

Creatine There is a lot of misinformation out there regarding creatine. However it is one of the most studied supplements out there and proven to be completely safe. Put simply, creatine does two things: it increases the amount of ATP (the body’s form of energy) your body can generate and the water retention in muscles, allowing for greater protein synthesis. Creatine’s benefits occur from prolonged use and not a one-off.

Five grams daily is sufficient. It’s also on the cheaper side, so I recommend this to all lifters.

Pre-Workout Pre-workouts have had some bad press recently with some varieties being discontinued due to banned substances.

However, pre-workout supplements, when used properly, can be safe and effective. Most pre-workouts promise increased energy, focus, strength and endurance. They contain specific performance enhancing amino acids and a stimulant (usually caffeine) to make sure you leave nothing in the tank. The main issue is caffeine content which ranges from 200-400mg (a typical coffee contains around 110mg).

Continued abuse of caffeine burns out your adrenal glands and will leave

Casein protein is a much more slow digesting protein than whey. It is usually taken before bed to help muscles repair

you feeling constantly depleted and lethargic and can even weaken your immune system in extreme cases. If you cycle your pre-workout (I use 3 weeks on, 1 week off) you can let your adrenal glands recharge and are unlikely to suffer adverse side effects. There are also non-stimulant varieties of preworkout. I would recommend this to only serious lifters, looking for the extra edge to take their training to the next level.

Intra-Workout (BCAAs) These are to be taken throughout the workout and most often used by athletes to keep their metabolism ticking over during intense training to avoid going into a catabolic state (when your energy levels are so depleted your body will start looking to your muscles and fat stores for extra energy). They’re made from Branch Chain Amino Acids (BCAAs), which are what make up your muscles and also increase recovery. As with pre-workout, this is for serious lifters doing intense training 5-7 times per week.

Ultimately however, use whatever routine works best for your body and your goals and make sure you keep your health a priority. Happy gymming!

GOOD THINGS COME TO CANBERRA SOMETIMES MAEVE BANNISTER

LIFE & STYLE Sometimes you wear your brand new sparkling white Converses because it looks like it’s going to be a sunny day, only for it to start raining torrentially as you step out of your second class, still with three more to go. Sometimes, the Chifley printers don’t want to work for you, so you go to Hancock instead.

Sometimes, you print off a hard copy of your history assignment at Hancock, walk all the way to the Coombs building to hand it in, and, upon arrival, realise that you didn’t change the formatting of the text to double-space. Sometimes, for the love of all that is good in the world, you just want to walk from one side of Union Court to the other without being mobbed by ANUSA candidates hoping to convince you to vote for them at the elections. Sometimes, you need to take your mind off all this. So you make a list about some of the good things coming

Nara Candle Festival

up in the next few months:

I love Floriade (um, the honey doughnut stand, anyone?), but I know that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. If you’re not keen on the flower festival, or you’d like to get out and about a bit more in this spring, another great option is Canberra’s annual Nara Candle Festival. 2000 candles light up Lennox Gardens on 24 October, celebrating Canberra’s sister city relationship with Nara in Japan. Stunning doesn’t even begin to capture what it’s like to walk through Lennox Gardens at nightfall during the Nara festival.

Spring

This winter, more so than any before, has felt never-ending to me. Even though it was most definitely snowing just last week ‒ none of this “sleet” business, thankyouverymuch ‒ signs of spring have begun to pop up around the city, and I could not be happier. I was walking around without a coat the other day! If this spring marks your first in Canberra, let me tell you right now, you’re in for a treat. Canberra knows how to put on a serious show in spring.

The days start to get warmer and last longer, the nights no longer require you to put on a million layers to stay alive, and everyone is just a lot happier. (But, if you suffer from hay fever, I feel for you majorly. Stay strong in the next few months. And carry tissues.)

The Cat Café

I was walking through Braddon a few weeks ago when I saw a poster that I was not prepared for. “Coming soon”, it read, “CAPITAL CAT CAFÉ”. Cats and coffee, two of my favourite things,

27

linked together in a way I didn’t even know was possible. Be still, my overly excited heart. I’ve already started counting down the days until opening, and I’m not even ashamed to say that.

What I’m trying to say, is that even when you have those “sometimes” days, if you can look ahead and think about the good things coming your way, than those days are just that: sometimes.

CAMPUS STYLE 1 2 3

“Like Science, Style requires research, experimentation, and funding.” - Target “Taking norm core chic nek level” “People say I look like Miranda Kerr, but I so don’t” *Anticlockwise from Top Left*

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Week 6, Semester 2, 2015.

//ARTS & REVIEWS + SCIENCE

DYLAN MORAN – OFF THE HOOK JESSICA MASTERS

ARTS & REVIEWS Dylan Moran is a bastion of British comedy. He’s fiercely Irish and he reminds us of that several times as he drinks slowly but steadily through the show. “I’ve given up smoking though,” he says halfway through the show, which prompts him to talk about how he’s replaced smoking with eating. “My wife came up to me as I was casually eating something twice my size... aargh! You made me drop my elk!”

He begins by talking about Canberra.

Most comedians I have seen try to say a few sentences about the town they are visiting at the beginning of their shows but few succeed at making it past a few minutes. Moran, however, was wellversed in our political situation and knew how to needle Canberrans enough so they would laugh but not enough that we wouldn’t like it. He thanked us for coming to our show and then paused. “Well, it is a Saturday night in Canberra,” he drawled.

“What else are you going to do?” His comments on our prime minister are also well-received. “You need to be nicer to Tony! He knows things that you don’t know.” The audience is well aware a joke is coming and they aren’t disappointed.

“Tony Abbott knows that climate change is caused by lesbians and that’s why you don’t have same sex marriage.”

Known most famously for his role as Bernard Black on the television series Black Books, it is safe to say that there are elements of the real Moran in the character, which Moran has admitted to other interviewers. He starred in the show with Bill Bailey, who toured in Canberra last October, and Tamsin Greig.

The difference between Moran and Bailey’s stand up comedy is vast, though they are both extremely funny men.

Bailey is polished and has long intricate stories filled with descriptive detail, whilst Moran often has to pause to collect his thoughts because it’s as though his mouth is talking too fast for his head to follow. He prefers to go off on impromptu tangents and occasionally trips over his words but to me, these are the signs of an adaptable intelligent mind perhaps bemoaning the slowness of the body to follow. Even though he is only 43, much of his comedy centres around the perils of middle age and his realisation of what a lifetime of drinking, eating and smoking has done to his body.

SMALL BIRDS OF GREAT DECEPTION: CUNNING VOCAL MIMICRY SCIENCE Scientists from the ANU have recently discovered the cunning strategies of a tiny native bird, which mimics the alarm calls of other birds to deceive its predators. The bird in question was the brown thornbill, which could mimic the calls of fairy wrens, honeyeaters, robins, rosellas and even currawongs.

The study suggested that distracting predators with alarm call mimicry may allow thornbill nestlings to scramble away from their main predators, currawongs.

When ANU researchers played back currawong calls to brown thornbills at the National Botanical Gardens, the thornbills responded with a chorus of alarm calls. Dr Branislav Igic, who led the study, said in a press release: “It’s not superbly accurate mimicry, but it’s enough to fool the predator.”

The researchers then staged fake thornbill nests and played recordings of thornbills imitating the alarm calls of honeyeaters.

ALYSSA ROGGERO “The predator firstly pauses, looks around, and then sometimes even flies away,” said Professor Robert Magrath, coauthor of the study, in a video interview in June.

He was fascinated by the results.

“You have a tiny bird, maybe seven grams, which is deceiving a monstrous predator maybe 40 times its size.”

The little thornbill’s great powers of deception were actually unveiled by accident, recounts Professor Magrath. “When I was taking a group of undergraduate students on a totally unrelated project… I kept hearing sounds of birds that I couldn’t see.

Eventually, I realised that it was the brown thornbill mimicking the calls of a variety of other species.”

Researchers from the ANU School of Biology published the study, titled “Crying wolf to a predator: deceptive vocal mimicry by a bird protecting young”, in the The Proceedings of the Royal Society in May.

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The audience is constantly delighted. It is safe to assume that most of the audience is familiar with Moran’s work so it is a nice surprise when the show is softer than previous tours; Moran focuses on family and relationships, obesity and weight gain, and the ravages of age and raising children instead of his usual acerbic torrents on current affairs and our place in the world. There is very little talk of politics or religion. There is still the characteristic Moran spark though; the audience roars when he tells an absent Donald Trump to remove the orangutan’s vagina from his head and then fuck off in a rocket to outer space. In this respect, insults from Moran are almost a mark of respect. He disparagingly calls us “hot fleas in the gulping dark, all of you” and we all laugh despite the fact that it makes little sense. Are we, the audience, sucking out his comedic lifeblood? But this is another part of Moran’s delightful comedy - fantastical wordplay. Like his character on Black Books, Moran is well read and has an extensive vocabulary but a penchant for using silly words to describe normal situations. His reproachful remarks are tempered by amusing quibbles and

trivial observations using extraordinary and unexpected words.

Research by A.P. Nilsen and D.L.F. Nilsen has found that satisfaction and good feelings are more likely to be expressed with a smile, whilst laughter is more likely to be associated with surprise or the recognition of incongruity. And Moran’s comedy is definitely surprising. He is known not only for passionate rants but for random word associations. He has the ability to make fully rehearsed scenes feel off the cuff and to fill impromptu rants with complex dissertations on life, love and Nutella snowshoes nonsense. Discos are places for spangly lights and growing old is like having your mind become the top floor of a slumlord’s crumbling apartment block whilst you walk back and forth peering out your windoweyes. At the end though, the audience is thrilled and satisfied; Moran’s humorous treatises on health and family issues known to most of us leaves us gleeful that first of all that the famous suffer too, just as much if not more, and knowing that it is very possible to find humour in just about any situation.

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WORONI No.12 Vol.67

//SPORT

[REDACTED] IS RUNNING WILD, BROTHER WILL ANDERSON

SPORT In the surreal world of professional wrestling, there is perhaps no name more ubiquitous than Hulk Hogan. From the mid 1980’s until the present day, there has been no one who is more synonymous with the business than him, with only Ric Flair, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and John Cena having achieved any degree of mainstream appeal outside the business of professional wrestling.

From the red-and-yellow tights, to the promos telling kids to eat their vitamins and say their prayers, to “Hulkamania” and the associated “Hulkamaniacs”, it’s hard to think of anyone who had (or has) more drawing power than Hogan.

However, after tapes were released

by The National Inquirer of Hogan

going on a racist tirade in 2008, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) released Hogan from his legends’ contract, stating that they are “committed to embracing and celebrating individuals from all backgrounds”. In addition to this, WWE also removed all references to Hulk Hogan on their website, removed him from his position as Guest General Manager for the WWE Australian tour and from his role as a judge on WWE’s reality series Tough Enough. WWE also removed all content relating to Hogan on the WWE network, and his character in WWE 2K16.

Performer Curtis Axel, who was using parts of Hogan’s character, as part of his “#AXELMANIA” gimmick was forced to abandon this, even though it was rather popular and involved in a storyline.

It is important to note that the only other person to be given this kind of treatment by the WWE is Chris Benoit, the former world champion who in 2008, killed both his wife and child in a murder-suicide.

Even performers who have left the company, and even have lawsuits against the company, such as CM Punk, have not been given this comprehensive removal from the annals of wrestling history. A search on wwe.com of the names of Hulk Hogan or Chris Benoit will yield no results.

However, it seems impossible that WWE will be able to remove a name as famous as Hulk Hogan from their history. Hogan was the man who gave the (then) WWF their widespread mainstream

appeal. The moments which Hogan provided have been immortalised as the milestones in wrestling history, such as bodyslamming the 500 pound Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania III, being a part of the NWO in World Championship Wrestling (WCW), being the only back-to-back winner of the Royal Rumble and teaming with “Macho Man” Randy Savage as part of the Mega Powers.

It’s hard to imagine that this eradication of Hogan from wrestling history will be permanent, because it seems next to impossible to remove the man with the “Biker Stache, Chinese hair and skin of a hot dog” that Vince McMahon built the multi-billion dollar WWE around.

F I V E YO U N G AU S S I E S

TO KEEP AN EYE ON THIS YEAR RYAN GRAHAM

SPORT After a Summer of dreary friendlies, football normalcy has finally returned to Europe. If you enjoy keeping an eye on the Australians plying their trade overseas, make sure you don’t forget about the following five young guns that are looking to break-out this season.

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MUSTAFA AMINI – RANDERS (DENMARK) Although Amini’s much touted move to Borussia Dortmu nd in 2011 failed to result in a competitive first team appearance, his early appearances for new club Randers ought to recapture the imagination of Australia’s football faithful. Amini is a very intelligent and versatile midfielder, with an excellent ability to sniff out great passes and through balls, whilst keeping things tight defensively. He has already opened his account with solid Europa League qualification performances (including a goal and an assist) at his new club, who play in the Danish top division.

If he keeps it up, it should be

enough to see him receive his first Socceroos cap.

is rated. Although yet to make his first team debut at Lazio, the dangerous striker was crucial in netting two goals during Lazio’s victory over local rivals Roma in the final of the Italian Youth cup in May. He was called up to the first teams bench regularly at the tail end of last season, on the strength of how much promise the young Australian is showing in training.

He looks set to make his Series A breakthrough this year, either at Lazio or on loan.

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KEREM BULUT – IRAKLIS (GREECE) Bulut impressed at national u21 level but until a recent move home to Western Sydney Wanderers the intimidating striker had struggled to find the net during club stints in Turkey and the Czech Republic. However, a move to Iraklis Thessaloniki in Greece for the controversial 23 year old could see him finally deliver on his potential. Bulut has already impressed his new club, scoring in a pre-season friendly win against Superleague rivals PAS Giannina – demonstrating that he can compete at the top level. The move away from Sydney should also allay some of the off-field distractions which have held the striker back.

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JACKSON IRVINE – ROSS COUNTY (SCOTLAND) When Rogic signed with Celtic in 2013, another young Australian was already working his way through the club’s renowned youth system.

While Irvine featured sparsely for the Scottish giants, his loan at Ross County was a revelation for both the player and the struggling club last season. The deal was made permanent in May, and the 22 year old has played 90 minutes in all four of his club’s premiership games to date. Irvine was played

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CHRIS IKONOMIDIS – LAZIO (ITALY) Ikonomidis’ debut for the Socceroos earlier this year shows how highly the 20 year old

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predominantly as a holding midfielder last season, but his versatility means he’s no stranger to setting up goals further up the park. A potential replacement for aging Mark Milligan, expect him to receive a second Socceroos cap this year.

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TAYLOR TOMBIDES – HULL (ENGLAND) The younger brother of the late Dylan Tombides, 19 year old Taylor made the switch from West Ham’s youth system for recently relegated Hull over summer. Breaking through to the first team is Taylor’s aim this year, which will be assisted by the buckets of technical and creative ability the young striker possesses (have a look at his goal for Canvey Island last season for proof). He’s already netted one in the Hull U21’s first competitive game of the year, and is likely to score plenty more in his pursuit of first team action.

W

Week 6, Semester 2, 2015.

//SPORT

WHO WILL WIN THE RUGBY WORLD CUP? ROBBIE McNEILL

SPORT The Rugby World Cup is the pinnacle of International Rugby Union. Contested every four years since 1987, we have seen four different nations lift the Webb Ellis Cup. So, the question that supporters and punters alike want answered is “Who is going to win the 2015 edition of the Rugby World Cup?”. In my opinion there are at least seven teams that come Grand Final day, could be sipping out of the cup. However, the four teams that currently hold the strongest claims for cup glory are Australia, Ireland, France and New Zealand.

Australia rugby has been in somewhat of a lull over the course of the last decade, with their last world cup win coming with the golden era of 1999. However, a recent change of coach for the 2014 end of year tour saw the ambitious and sometimes controversial Michael Cheika thrust to the helm. With this, we have seen a slight resurgence in the Australian

for the clover green towards the business end of the tournament.

game, leading to a first win over the All Blacks in four years to take out the Rugby Championship earlier this month. Despite possessing what I believe to be the best attacking fullback in world rugby at present, Israel Folau, I still think that the Wallabies lack the composure and consistency that is imperative to a successful World Cup campaign.

Next we have les Bleus. The French seem to be the one team that no matter what, rise to the occasion that is the World Cup. Perhaps the most consistent team in World Cup history, France is a team that can never be written off in any match, whether they are down by three points or thirty. They may not have the amount of star players present in teams like England, the All Blacks and Wallabies but they have proven time and time again that they can be the most dangerous team in world rugby.

The Irish team, having flown under the radar since the last World Cup, have recently snuck into second place in the world rankings ahead of Australia and England. With veteran leader Paul O’Connell leading them around the park, Ireland are sure to not let the occasion get on top of them. Alongside this comes the unparalleled ability of fly-half Johnny Sexton to read the game as it unfolds ‒ something that is central to all successful World Cup teams.

Moreover, with recent victories over both England and the always-tough Welsh, be sure to keep an eye out

Finally, we come to New Zealand, the form team in world rugby for the better part of a decade, losing only 4 games since the 2011 World Cup. Whilst they lost to the Wallabies in the recent Rugby Championship, the following week saw the Men in Black re-establish order with an emphatic

TO

To dearest Tony, What ever would we do without you?

It recently came to my attention that without the guiding wisdom of the White Middle Aged Man in concentrated high positions of power, the world would definitely struggle to continue on its current path. Your bodacious bod, seen numerous times in those babelicious budgie smugglers, is the archetypal image that all men should aspire to and your international reputation is beyond compare. I once thought George Bush was a bit of a fox, but my Golly, I was sorely mistaken.

You consistently touch our hearts with your concern for the welfare of students, Indigenous and those more vulnerable in the Australian community. Although, you sometimes unintentionally forget about these important people in society, we completely understand your need to put the comfort of the wealthier ahead of those who need it, much less understand it, and help you maintain your position as Prime Minister of Australia. It can be hard to make the future generation’s education a priority and it is rather

No matter what happens, this promises to be one of the closest and most exciting World Cups so far.

As far as the winner goes, my heart says New Zealand, but, my brain is telling me that Australia and Ireland are not at all far behind.

COFFEE IN VASE

DEAREST TONY HUMOUR & SATIRE

41-13 win over their trans-Tasman rivals to retain the Bledisloe Cup for the thirteenth straight year. With six players retiring after the World Cup, the All Blacks are fielding a relatively old team, however their experience is invaluable in securing a win. Add to this the pure talent of Richie McCaw and Daniel Carter, along with some young blood and you have a mixture that once again is going to be hard to beat.

SAME AS

COFFEE IN CUP

MERCY McCOLL

HUMOUR & SATIRE

fortunate that you believe that education should have a price; it must have been desperately hard growing up and having free university, hey Tony? Alas, do not concern yourself, my parents will put it on the tab along with my new Mercedes.

Like it long and black? Soy milk? In a vase perhaps?

It has recently been revealed that coffee in a vase is just as good (if not better) as coffee served in cups. The study was conducted by a group of anonymous arts students who infiltrated Canberra’s most eminent cafes in the search for the explanation behind ridiculous coffee prices and unexplainable art deco. Well, they found none. Which could mean a collapse for the wanky coffee industry in Canberra.

I wish that you could see how much your compassion instils safety and hope in the minds of the refugees you pluck from the sea and rescue from their worst terrors. I know asking you to have compassion for students, elderly, Indigenous people, refugees and the vulnerable is a terrible and challenging task; but once again you rise to the challenge like a venerable shooting star sent from the heavens above. And yes, I totally understand the fact you can’t support same-sex marriage rights; why would anyone want to empathise with a minority anyway, even less an alien presence in the family?

Arts student Johnny Walker, who majors in speech pathology, commented: “while the coffee served in vases, jugs and bison horns is certainly harder to drink, the molecular structure of the coffee brew itself was exactly the same, with the exception of a slightly musty aftertaste.”

Australia’s future depends on you Tony; your wisdom, perseverance and keen intellect is truly a wonder and a godsend for Australia.

The study may come as a shock to many who have switched to a no-cup coffee regime in hopes that it will improve their fitness and longevity in the long-term.

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IVANA SMOJVER Business owner and experienced coffee connoisseur, Peter Ding, who has chosen to serve one of Canberra’s most enjoyed beverages in a bison horn says that he completely disbelieves this evidence and claims that the no-cup coffee must be felt to be believed. In fact, he demands the arts students behind this shocking study to come forward and present their shonky evidence to him personally!

However, the study may have just ticked off more than a few disgruntled owners that in the future may be forced to slash their prices in order to compete with McCafe. It is alleged that hipsters all around the world are planning a boycott due to the indirect damage suffered via their Instagram accounts re: decrease in likes and followers. What they will do?

We are unsure, but it may involve some combination of shaving their beards, washing their hands and not wearing ripped denim, all in the glorious name of rebellion.

ORONI COMPLAINTS? CALL DIRECTLY AND REGISTER YOUR COMPLAINT HERE: (02) 6125 2444

A SHORT GUIDE TO CANBERRA’S STATUES HUMOUR & SATIRE

Illustration by Henry Dwyer

ZENO OF ELEA

Canberra has a weird obsession with public art. You can’t live here for very long without running into all sorts of slightly unusual civic statues. Unfortunately, however, not many of them come with the sorts of little plaques that art galleries normally have around to explain their exhibits to the plebs. Thankfully, Woroni is here to help, with this brief collection of the back-stories, history and symbolism of some of the more cryptic of Canberra’s many public statues.

THE GIANT NAZI DEATH EAGLE (RUSSELL) Built in 1940, in order to hedge Australia’s bets against the possibility that Germany might win the Second World War, the Giant Nazi Eagle was originally built to commemorate der Führer’s triumphant entry into Paris. Hastily re-purposed after an Allied victory into a “war memorial”, the statue continues to stare down disapprovingly at the whole degenerate city of Canberra to this day.

THE PENIS OWL (BELCONNEN) The famous Penis Owl statue of Belconnen celebrates the indigenous myth of the Penis Owl, which is somewhat similar to the myth of the Rainbow Snake, except instead of carving out valleys and mountains into the landscape of the Australian desert, the Penis Owl was responsible for carving out UC. THE GIANT HOLLOW BALLBEARING (ANU) Located in the near the Biology

building, the Giant Hollow Ball Bearing symbolises the inner emptiness lies beneath the shiny attractive exterior of much of campus life. Also, it makes an incredibly cool and mysterious gong-like sound when you slap it and you’re high.

THE STANDING DOG (ANU) The Standing Dog stands guard at the head of University Avenue like a sacred Egyptian relic rearing up from beneath the sands of the ages. It symbolises the utter superfluity and pointlessness of your university education. Really.

Think of one reason why a dog would need to stand on its hind legs.

THE DRUNKEN SHEEP (CIVIC) Possibly Canberra’s most famous tourist attraction, the group of playful sheep statues that inhabit Garema Place were originally placed there in the late 19th century, to lure drunk muttonchopped and frock-coated young scallywags out of Ye King O’Malley’s Olde Pub. They would paint pictures of themselves in lewd mock-sexual intercourse with said sheep statues, and then inevitably post them on Ye Olde Instagramme. A true Canberra institution.

THE FAT MAN CLIMBING THE STAIRS (CIVIC) The Fat Man Climbing the Stairs is commonly misinterpreted as representing the difficulty of life’s challenges, especially for those endowed with an excess of weight.

The joke’s on you, however: it’s an escalator.

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