TRASCENDENCE VOL. 67
Issue #14
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Two ANU Undergraduates Take Out Prestigious Awards - Anna Kaufmann
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Controversy Eclipses the Lunar Festival - Jason Liu
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You Can’t Say That, It’s Actually Really Offensive - Stuart Ferrie
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Water in a Wasteland - Maxwell Jones
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Review: The Rubens @ ANU Bar - Sylvia Gunn
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A Taste of Transgression - Adam Burzyniski
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ANU in Crisis: Leadership Spill - A.G. Cavenagh
WORONI SEMESTER 2 - WEEK 11, 2015 - WORONI.COM.AU - FACEBOOK, TWITTER & THE APP STORES
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WORONI No.14 Vol.67
CONTENTS No. 14 3.
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ANU Tomorrow: Dark Energy, Pop Music and Human Rights - Anna Kaufmann Two ANU Undergraduates Take Out Prestigious Awards - Anna Kaufmann OGM 3 Report - Miguel Galsim
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Controversy Eclipses Lunar Festival - Jason Liu A Day to Give for Mental Health - Miguel Galsim Baby Gate 2K15 - Ria Pflaum
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Dress to Transgress - Steve Skitmore
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Are Milennials Transgressive? - Mark Fabian
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ANU Students React to Australia’s Refugee Policy - Anna Kaufmann
Transendence Liftout Cover - Daniel McKay
You Can’t Say That, It’s Actually Really Offensive - Stuart Ferrie
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#wedon’tsay -Nishanth Pathy
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Going the Distance - Sylvia Gunn
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The Paradoxes of a More Tolerant World - Vishesh Agarwal
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Mass Debate on Porn - Sarah Edwards & Anna Macdonald
Marriage Equality in Canberra - Ria Pflaum 9.
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A Letter to the Prime Minister - Yifei Huang 20.
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International Health and Wellbeing Conference - Helsinki, Finland - Mark Van Zeyl &
Adam Costanzo
Warm, Slowly Moving Colours - Isaac Dugdale Following in the Footsteps - Avnan Nayan Pujara
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Candidate Statements for Woroni Elections (Semester 1, 2016) - Various Candidates
Water in a Wasteland - Maxwell Jones
Introducing Love Yourself Week: In Conversation with Helena Hu and Jess Wat -Helena Hu and Jess Wat
Creating Understanding with Caitlyn and Jazz - Pramilaa Shivakkumar The Real Inspector Hound - Louise Keast
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A State of Grace - Anna Milligan Entrepeneurship and the Age of the Biopic - Vihan Patel
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The Summer Exodus - Cameron McMurtrie 25.
Chvrches - Every Open Eye - Matt Bowes A Taste of Transgression - Adam Burzynski
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Agree to Disagree: A Killer Combination - Maeve Bannister and Paroksh Prasad Dress to be Your Best: How Adapting to “Vogue” Can Transform Your Life - Dhwanee Mehta The Humble Sidekick - Gene Schirripa Russia Bombs Syria and Some Other Stuff Maybe - Zeno
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Wolly (Woroni Dolly) - Ivana Smojver & Joel Shnaider ANU in Crisis: Leadership Spill - A.G. Cavenagh
Review: The Rubens @ ANU Bar - Sylvia Gunn
A C K N O W L E D G E M E N T S ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF COUNTRY
BOARD OF EDITORS
S TA F F
SUB-EDITORIAL TEAM
Woroni is published on the land of the Ngunnawal people.
Editor-in-Chief - Jacob Ingram Deputy Editor-in-Chief Giordi Borzuola
Administrative Assistant Simone Proctor
Science - Maxwell Jones Comment - Vishesh Agarwal Features - Vincent Chiang Satire & World - Ivana Smojver Arts & Reviews - Louise Keast Arts & Reviews - Jessica Masters Life & Style - Paroksh Prasad Sports - Zach Mackey International - Virginia Harding Radio - Kate Lawrence Radio - Caitlin Magee Radio - Finn Pedersen Radio - Sam Skinner Design - Joanne Leong IT - Manab Chetia Photography - Nic Bills Videography - Julia Faragher News Correspondent - Anna Kaufmann News Correspondent - Miguel Galsim News Correspondent - Ria Pflaum
‘Woroni’ translates to ‘mouthpiece’ in the Ngunnawal language. Advertising inquiries and submissions can made at: advertising@woroni.com. au Phone: (02) 6125 9574 Shop 15, Lena Karmel Building 26 Barry Drive, Acton 2601
Managing Editor - Mitchell Scott
Proofreader - Siobhonn Shannon Book keeper - Brendan Ofner
Creative Director - Rashna Farrukh News Editor - Waheed Jayhoon Contributions Editor Benedicte O’Leary Rutherford Multimedia Editor Maddalena Easterbrook Radio Editor - Isaac Dugdale
Woroni is printed by Capital Fine Print.
Week 11, Semester 2, 2015.
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A N U T O M O R R O W: DARK ENERG Y, POP MUSIC AND HUMAN RIGHTS
CAMPUS NEWS The ANU is known worldwide for being the leaders in research in a wide range of different fields, yet how many students can name some of the incredible research that is being undertaken at our own university? This is what ANU Tomorrow aimed to rectify last Tuesday evening. The first in a series of lectures organised by the Postgraduate and Research Students’ Association (PARSA), ANU Tomorrow was designed to showcase the leading research that ANU’s postgraduates are undertaking to the rest of the ANU community; research, as PARSA put it, “that will be the knowledge of tomorrow”. As explained by PARSA President Christopher Wilson, most of the leading researchers at the ANU “are more well-known on the other side of the world than they are in our own community”. The inaugural ANU Tomorrow lecture featured three of the ANU’s leading minds from very different fields. Ryan Goss, a lecturer of the College of Law, Rhodes Scholar, Deputy Director of Higher Degree Research Programs at the College of Law and Early Career Academic Fellow of University House, presented research he had been undertaking in the puzzles of human rights law. Examining the different approaches undertaken
ANNA KAUFMANN a presentation from Nobel Laureate and soon-to-be Vice Chancellor, Brian Schmidt, who posed three big questions for astronomy, including what other planets are out there, and what dark matter and dark energy are. These questions, Schmidt felt, would all be answered in the next 10 to 20 years. The future Vice Chancellor does know, however, that “the future of the universe is dark energy”, but that we just have to discover what dark energy is.
in cases towards Article 6 of the European Convention of Human Rights - a right to a fair trial - in almost 1,500 cases have lead Goss to conclude that jurisprudence in the area is “marked by considerable uncertainty and inconsistency”. Goss stated that the research work being done in Law “helps our society to answer some of the biggest questions in any democratic society: what are the rules by which we are all governed, in what ways are those rules problematic, and in what ways can we improve those rules?
The event was the brain child of PARSA Education Officer, Bishal Chalise. “ANU is the top ranked University in Australia in a large part due to the quality of our research but often the superstar researchers that we have are better known internationally than they are on campus” he said.
“Research in law might not involve laboratories or microscopes, but it’s vitally important work -- and a lot of it is being done right here at the ANU.” Samantha Bennett, Senior Lecturer and Undergraduate Convenor in the School of Music, and a sound recordist and academic from London, presented on the relatively new discipline of phonomusicology. Phonomusicology, the study of recorded music, looks at the space between performance and reception. Bennett is looking into sound recording analysis - how the people behind the instruments, the technology the music is produced on, and the place in which the music is recorded all influence the sound of the music itself.
“The ANU Tomorrow series gives the ANU community a chance to hear from world-leading experts on cutting edge research. The title of ANU Tomorrow comes from the idea that the thoughts and ideas you’re hearing during the presentation are going to the knowledge of the future”. Wilson said that PARSA purposely chose these three leading researchers for their diversity, exhibiting the broad scope of research the ANU’s post graduates are engaged in. But Wilson also said that they wanted to
Lastly, the night was concluded with
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show not only how far reaching the research areas of the ANU are, but also how they interlink. The world of academia is becoming increasingly interdisciplinary, and Wilson said he wanted to highlight how research from what have traditionally been isolated fields are crossing over into each other. For instance Dr Bennett, in her presentation, stated that the field of physics plays a large role in the analysis she undertakes on pop music. Although Chalise said that the choice of Professor Schmidt was definitely an easy one, the Education Officer also said that they were after experts in their field conducting research which is both topical and interesting, which all three definitely fulfil. Of being given the opportunity to present at the event, Goss said that it was “a great chance to speak to the ANU community about some of the important and exciting research being done in the ANU’s Law School, but also to hear about the great work being done in other parts of the campus”. PARSA hopes to continue ANU Tomorrow lectures, and is now calling for suggestions of speakers at the next lecture.
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TWO ANU UNDERGRADUATES TAKE OUT
P R E ST I G I O U S AWA R D S ANNA KAUFMANN
CAMPUS NEWS Two ANU students have been named overall winners in their respective subject areas in the prestigious world Undergraduate Awards. Matilda Gillis took out the overall winner award in the Law category, and Weng Kin San in the Philosophy and Theology category. The Undergraduate Awards, based in Ireland, are the largest academic awards program in the world and celebrates the world’s best and most innovative undergraduate students. The awards are open to all penultimate and final year students in the top universities in the world, and students submit up to three pieces of course research or project
work. Winners are chosen for their innovation in their subject areas, for “creating world-class research to tackle some of the world’s toughest challenges”.
was an area he cares a lot about and hoped to do in the future. Both students will have their work published in the Undergraduate Journal, circulated internationally, and will be flown to Dublin to accept their awards and for a three day summit with the other winners from around the world in November.
Gillis is in her fifth year of an Arts/ Law degree and said she was really surprised and excited to have won the prestigious award. The essay she submitted was on the subject of violence against women and women’s human rights, and Gillis said she was particularly pleased the essay did well because it’s a topic she cares a lot about.
His winning essay was on political responses to drought throughout Australian history and how that changed according to what people thought of the environment. Another 10 ANU students received high commendations, and ANU was ranked in the top 10 overall across all subject areas in the Awards.
Gillis said her motivation for entering was hearing about ANU student Daniel McKay, who won in the History category last year. Daniel McKay was the only ANU student to receive a prize in the Undergraduate Awards in 2014.
San was also pleased to have won in his category, saying that Philosophy
OGM 3 REPORT CAMPUS NEWS On Thursday 8th October ANUSA held its third and final Ordinary General Meeting (OGM) of 2015 with quorum attendance, resulting in the passing of a motion that increases the honoraria of Queer*, Women’s, Disabilities, and International Department heads by $3000. The OGM proceeded through the executive reports largely as read, with ANUSA President Ben Gill’s report being passed in his absence. A large section of his report was dedicated to the results of the annual ANUSA survey, which contained data on financial hardship, campus safety, mental health, discrimination, and other issues. Overall, the survey concluded that “only 30% of students did not experience any issues this year, which means that 70% of students experienced some sort of issue at university in 2015”. Vice President James Waugh’s report was also discussed, particularly the issue of “individuals overusing BKSS services”.
MIGUEL GALSIM Waugh stated that the problems arose with the “inconsistent and strange way [the BKSS breakfast program] is being used”, making it difficult to “plan accordingly” for the services provided by the BKSS.
perfect,” the unwillingness of the candidates to run for another election would decrease the quality of a future election even further. Ultimately, she said that upholding the results of the recent elections would be the “lesser evil”.
He wanted to “support students who do need that food. We don’t want people relying on a breakfast program for a whole day’s or whole week’s nutrition”.
A motion to increase the honoraria of the Queer*, Women’s, Disabilities, and International Department officers was also passed with overwhelming support. Instead of the officers receiving $5000 each year and having to distribute a part of this sum to deputies, the payment will be increased to $8000 to give officers the entire $5000.
General Secretary Monique Langley-Freeman also presented her report with extended discussion on the criticisms raised against the AEC’s handling of the annual elections. LangleyFreeman noted that ANUSA was yet to receive the final report from Returning Officer Phillip Green, and was considering consulting another electoral body for the 2016 elections.
Queer* Officer Kat Reed presented the motion with a moving account of her own experiences as Queer* Department officer, highlighting the stresses and threats to mental health and financial wellbeing placed upon students in the position that warranted an increase in honoraria. This is also exacerbated by the fact that Department officers must support particularly vulnerable groups on campus. Reed felt that passing the motion would show ANUSA’s and ANU’s “support
Regarding the accidental counting of PhB Science students in the CAP elections, a meeting held between Green and CAP Representative candidates resulted in the current results for the election being upheld. Langley-Freeman stated that while “the election was not
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for oppressed groups”. Laura Campbell and Jade McKenna also spoke in favour of the motion, with the former positing “student wellbeing as a priority” alongside academic excellence, and the latter underlining the financial burden that the Department officer position places on the incumbent student. When queried about the exclusion of the Indigenous Students Department from this motion, the current Indigenous Officer stated that they did not feel the need for the extra payment given that they were still learning the role, in addition to the assistance rendered by the Tjabal Centre. The OGM ended early as quorum was not able to be held throughout the discussion of additional matters. However, all motions that were floored had been passed.
C O N T R O V E R S Y ECLIPSES
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On Wednesday 30th September the student-run Moon Festival was held in Copland Courtyard. The Moon Festival is a culturally significant harvest festival observed primarily by ethnic Chinese and Vietnamese people, though in modern times it is also observed by other Asian countries. The celebration is based around the traditions of moon-gazing and moon-worshipping during the autumn full moon. ANU’s own Moon Festival was organised by the self-titled “Moon Committee”, consisting of Jenny Bui as Director, Haseeb Ikram as Assistant Director and Kieran Hancock providing volunteer assistance. They worked in conjunction with ANUSA and PARSA and do not represent any particular club or society. When asked about her motivations in organising such an event Ms Bui said that she wanted to provide a diversified cultural experience to the university, “[involving] more countries such as Singapore, Indonesia, the Philippines and Vietnam”, as she felt the previous year’s Mid-Autumn festival was primarily focussed on Chinese culture. The Moon Festival event featured a large number of different cultural clubs and societies including the K-Pop Culture Club, Japan Club, ASIAA, HKSS and more. They offered cultural cuisines, displays, and performances at their stalls.
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whatsoever’ for his decisions.
“We wanted to remind [International students] of home by providing them these mooncakes and other activities. It is also a good opportunity to share the culture with local students with all the performances, music, food and activities”, said Ms Bui.
CSSA President, Serena Lyu, replied to the post by first stating that she believed the Moon Committee did a great job promoting Chinese culture at the Festival, and secondly stating that Mr Hancock had “completely misunderstood” the point she had made at the Presidential Debate. Ms Lyu claimed that the issue was not that the China Club was chosen over the CSSA. She said that the CSSA was not invited at all and that she had only asked Ms Jenny Bui, who was participating in the debate, to clarify why, as the “biggest Chinese Students’ Association on campus”, they were not invited.
Minor controversy arose the day following day at the ISD Presidential Debate, where it was later alleged on the Moon Festival Facebook event page by one of the Moon Committee members that the Chinese Students and Scholars Association (CSSA) had publicly accused the Moon Committee of discrimination. Mr Hancock claimed in his post that, during the Presidential Debate, the CSSA had criticised members of the Moon Committee for selecting the ANU China Club over the CSSA and also that they excluded Chinese Culture at the festival. He also claimed in further posts that ‘harsh comments’ and ‘slanderous behaviour’ in the form of private Facebook messages were directed at the Moon Committee during the Debate.
Ms Lyu alleged that Ms Bui’s reply at the Debate was that the CSSA had made a “special request” which the Committee could not comply with and thus they were denied. Ms Lyu questioned how the CSSA could have made a special request if they were not invited in the first place. James Yang, another member of the CSSA committee who claims to have been present at the Presidential debate, believed that it was Mr Hancock who had exacerbated the issue initially by “slandering the CSSA” in his Facebook post.
“I personally made the decision to include the China Club rather than the CSSA because I had begun working with the China Club before I became involved in the Moon Festival”, read Mr Hancock’s post, “Their management team is very good, they represent China well and their society is a great addition to ANU”.
In a comment to Woroni, Mr Yang denied that CSSA members had made harsh comments during the debate. He also claimed that no communication was made with any of the Moon Committee in regards
Mr Hancock offered ‘no apologies
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to the Moon Festival. He said the Mr Hancock’s comments were “dishonest and certainly insulting” and that he would like Mr Hancock to withdraw them. Furthermore, he cited contradictory statements made at the Presidential Debate to be proof that Ms Bui had spoken “deceitfully”. “If [as claimed in the Facebook thread] Jenny has confirmed that there was no communication between [the CSSA] and her, how did she come up with the comment at the Debate that the CSSA had requested her for a larger stall?” Regardless, both parties agreed that the Moon Festival was a success and that they were merely defending themselves against the other side’s allegations. Mr Hancock stated that the intent of his posts was to show that the Moon Committee “had no discrimination against the CSSA” and that the decision to invite the China Club was not made with knowing bias. Mr Yang agreed that there was no point in dragging the issue further. “I believe that everyone who participated in the event enjoyed it, and that’s all that matters”, he said. Ms Jenny Bui would welcome any constructive feedback regarding the Moon Festival. All feedback should be directed toward jennybui1310@gmail. com.
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CAMPUS NEWS On 7th October the ANU launched its inaugural Day of Giving campaign with a goldcoin lunch in Union Court. The campaign is driven by the ANU Alumni Relations and Philanthropy unit, in close coordination with the National Institute for Mental Health Research (NIMHR) on campus. Coinciding with National Mental Health Awareness Week, the day intended to raise awareness about mental health issues, the work of the NIMHR, and to raise $50,000 for the NIMHR (in addition to the $50,000 already pledged by two external donors). The stalls and BBQ were supported by staff from the NIMHR, Alumni Relations and Philanthropy, and ANUSA. The organisers particularly wanted to draw attention to the NIMHR’s online self-help programs and resources, such as MoodGYM, e-couch, and
BA BY CAMPUS NEWS A female led initiative by residents of John XXIII College is set to launch next Monday 12th August, and is designed to generate a large amount of toys and maternity products for a Canberran women’s refuge. It will see students placing themselves in the parental role to a baby doll. With both females and males encouraged to join, the play on traditional female stereotypes has students signing up to caring for their “child” from 7am til 7pm on a daily basis; if they’re seen to be doing a poor parenting job, they can be jokingly called out and disqualified by others. Caitlin Burke, John XXIII Women’s Officer and one of the organisers of the project, stated that she hoped this was the “start
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MIGUEL GALSIM Blueboard. Interactive and therapeutic, they have assisted more than one million people globally with mental health issues.
change in their life”. While the Day of Giving was not initiated in response to any particular mental health need specific to the ANU, ChoendenDhongdue was driven by her commitment to student welfare in the launching of the project.
Maree Choenden-Dhongdue, the Annual Giving Manager in ANU’s Alumni Relations and Philanthropy unit, said that in addition raising funds and awareness of the NIMHR’s mission, she hoped the Day of Giving would educate the ANU community that “people can give to university, and that their gift actually matters”.
She cited phone appeals run by Alumni Relations and herself that “employ 40 students every year” to speak to ANU alumni about current student life. The employees highlighted the stress in students’ lives, particularly during examination and heavy assessment periods. She felt that managing these students and assisting them with their mental health concerns alerted her to these issues.
“It’s all about that idea that ANU is a destination for meaningful and transformational giving,” she said. Choenden-Dhongdue stressed the “incredible impact” of NIMHR programs, particularly its “translational research that actually gives back, is able to contribute to people, and make a
“I’m just noticing more and more the impact on students’ lives. They hold down jobs, they have full-time study commitments, they have extracurricular
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activities. There’s a lot of pressure on students, and we see the impact of that.” “I don’t think I know anyone who hasn’t been touched by mental illness,” she continued. “So this is really personal for everyone involved in the process. Certainly I’ve got a very personal story about it, and for me it’s really important that we make these services accessible and available to people.” She also felt that the funds raised over the year in the ANU’s Annual Giving program should be appropriately disbursed, particularly to mental health areas. While still early in the day, Choenden-Dhongdue was “really heartened by the support shown so far,” and that if funding goals were achieved, “NIMHR would be assured of $100,000 in total”.
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RIA PFLAUM “If we can get people engaging in a ridiculous community event like this, having a laugh and ultimately donating to a good cause driven by a strong female college culture, I’ll be thrilled.”
of a powerful event that would grow in future years”. “Our aim was to allow residents to engage in a female led initiative that facilitates a lot of laughs”.
Initial reception has so far been overwhelmingly positive, Burke expressed that it would be wonderful if the event could develop into further campaigns, such as an established annual toy drive, with girls asking if they “can donate other items from home, and knit things for the drive!”
As a compulsory part of entry, all students have agreed to donate all dolls and maternity gear accumulated will go to Marymead, a non-for-profit in the ACT that has provided services for children, young people and their families for over 40 years. Acknowledging the ridiculous nature of watching a group of college students devote their all to caring for a plastic “child”, she commented that the outcome of the all-inclusive and nonintimidating competition was yet to be seen.
With over 70 girls officially signed up, and boys now signing up too, Burke said that the event would be a success “even if it only last a few days”, however starting from Monday, there would be many “new mums”
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around campus. “The upcoming months could witness students furiously scribbling on exam booklets whilst their infant looks on from the front of Melville Hall… but that might be a bit ambitious.”
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DEBATE PORN
SARAH EDWARDS AND ANNA MACDONALD
CAMPUS NEWS The jury is still out on whether or not watching porn is damaging our minds, after “The Great Porn Debate,” organised by the ANU Circle for Gender Equity on Tuesday 7th October. The event’s key speakers were First Officer for the Australian Sex Party in the ACT Steven Bailey, researcher and analyst of population health Bethany Jones, and Sex Addiction Therapist John Larkin. Each speaker held the floor for a brief presentation of their own background and findings on the effects of pornography upon individuals, relationships, and communities, before opening the floor to questions from the audience. Each speaker took a differing approach to issues surrounding pornography. On the issue of porn censorship, there was a consensus that a complete prohibition of it would only have negative consequences. Bailey compared the issue to Prohibition in the United States during the 1930s, highlighting the higher criminal rates
during this period. The issue of “ethical porn” was widely debated, primarily between Larkin and members of the audience. Larkin, from a perspective of porn addiction, stated “let’s find out what we’re eating… let’s not kid ourselves that porn doesn’t have negative effects”. An issue of concern to all the speakers was the exploitation and abuse found throughout the pornography industry and the vulnerability of those working within it. All three speakers were in agreeance that the industry which produces pornography is “problematic,” and were in support of industry standards to be applied through higher regulation. There was also a consensus on the need for greater public education in the area of pornography, sex, and consent. Bailey spoke of the need for a mature political response of the government towards pornography. Bailey stated “porn and sex are facts of life but are
often subjects of taboo”. Bailey used his own party’s successful lobbying attempts to illustrate examples of what regulation in the pornography industry can be. A criticism raised against current standards of sex education in Australia was that there is an “underlying assumption that sex is bad, and particularly bad for women”, said Jones. She argued against this type of education, saying that a reform of sex education requires the acknowledgement that “it’s about health, it’s not about morality.” The discussion with the audience covered topics ranging from consent, abuse, and misrepresentation within the porn industry, to the effects of porn addiction on human intimacy, to potential public policy regarding the regulation and management of pornographic production. Anecdotally, each of the speakers also presented some of the more shocking things that they had come across in their respective fields. “I have clients
who will watch porn sixteen hours a day, sometimes more,” said Larkin, in response to a question about how extreme porn addiction could become. Circle for Gender Equity President Josey Janssen said that the inspiration for this discussion comes from the increasingly extreme and accessible nature of pornography. “I’ve watched documentaries myself where it’s been that porn producers have said… ‘I have to go that extra mile, I have to go a bit more extreme, because otherwise my videos don’t get viewed.’… I just thought it was a really interesting topic, and sometimes controversial.” Academic events like this one are hosted by the Circle twice each term. “The CGE does a variety of different discussions throughout the year, and what we do is we promote gender equity.” Janssen advised interested students to attend the CGE’s AGM at 6pm on Wednesday 14th, in the Brian Kenyon Student Space.
Plus more great acts TBA! | Featuring special guest artist Andrew
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ANU School of Music and Arts ACT Present...
S atur day Oct ob e r 24t h 2015 | Door s o p e n 7 p m AN U Bar | Tickets $15 availab le from ti c ke t e k.c o m . a u
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TRIGGER WARNING
ANU DISCUSSION HEALTH
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AU ST RA L I A’ S R EFU GE E P OLICY ANNA KAUFMANN
CAMPUS NEWS On Thursday 8th October ANU students once again rallied in Union Court demanding that offshore refugee detention centres Nauru and Manus Island be closed and for an end to Australia’s boat turn back policy. The group of around 20 students met in union chanting for Mr Turnbull to “stop the rapes, close Nauru” before marching through the streets of the city and to The Department of Immigration and Border Protection in Braddon. Students entered the building in protest before they were driven out by a large number of police who turned up at the scene in two large police vans shortly after the students arrived.
The rally comes after the story has come to light of a 23 year old woman being held on Nauru is begging Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull to let her come to Australia for an abortion after falling pregnant as a result of being raped in the detention centre. Geraldine Fela, activist with the ANU Refugee Action Committee, the group organising the rally said that they are hoping “to put pressure on the department and the government, let them know that many students think the current policy must end”.
CAMPUS NEWS On Thursday 24th September the ANU Queer* Department held a Marriage Equality Rally, with special guests including Ivan Hinton, the Deputy Director of Australian Marriage Equality and Professor Archie Clements. Kat Reed, ANU Queer* Officer, started the rally with a positive attitude, stating that the rally was to “celebrate that we’re proud, and to show the government that we are as well”. Acknowledging that there were “a lot of rallies, of a lot of student issues”, Reed invited the special guests to speak, as well as then opening up the platform for ralliers to share their stories. These student speakers spoke of grappling with their acceptances of their sexualities and their families and friends’ reactions, as well as commenting on how the current political stance on marriage equality
he is concerned about violence inflicted against women then he must end the violence against refugees in the government’s care. He must close Nauru and bring refugees into the Australian community. Anything less is sheer hypocrisy”.
According to Transfield Services there have been 33 formal allegations of rape or sexual assault inside the detention centre on Nauru between September 2012 and April 2015.
Fela said that the arrests of the students in Sydney, while being wrong, showed that “students can respond quickly and passionately to situations as they develop. In this case, the immigration department’s refusal to grant a victim of rape an abortion”.
Erima Dall from the Campus Refugee Action Collective, Sydney University said “Malcolm Turnbull has made addressing domestic violence a feature of his government, but if
“Manus and Nauru must be closed and refugees welcomed to Australia”, she stated.
M A R R I AG E E Q UA L I T Y I N CANBERRA
On Wednesday 11th October, university students were arrested in Sydney after staging a sit-in at the Department of Immigration and Border Protection in protest of the ongoing rapes and assaults against refugees being held on Nauru.
RIA PFLAUM not only impacted one’s civil rights, but attitudes towards the LGBTI* community as a whole. These sentiments were also echoed at the Canberra Rally for Marriage Equality, held on Saturday 3rd October in Petrie Plaza. Over 50 Canberrans gathered in the city centre to show the city’s support for marriage equality. Shane Battenbury MLA and Cat Rose, coconvenor of Community Action Against Homophobia were among a number of speakers before the group marched through the streets. Their last stop was the office of the local LNP Federal Senator Zed Seselja, one of the loudest voices opposing marriage equality in the Australian parliament.
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DRESS TO TRANSGRESS
STEVE SKITMORE
I have been wearing lipstick and dresses since I could walk, and that’s not a confession, that’s just the way it is. I grew up with a dress-up chest, that miraculous saggy wooden plywood box that contained a wonder of wigs and scarves, dresses and suits, ready and waiting for whenever a creative wind arose.
to inanimate objects. For instance, we might find a sword in an excavation and try to understand whether this was a utilitarian weapon, or whether it was an object of prestige, just like a particular car or watch would be today. Clothes hold the same value. What we wear is a symbol, a series of objects that symbolise our role in society. This explains why male cross-dressing is condemned on a larger scale than female cross-dressing. What we are seeing here is how clothes represent the power dynamic between genders. When a man puts on a dress, he risks being branded insane for reducing his privilege to that of the gender represented by the dress. On the other hand, women are often required to take on the traditional clothing of men in order to command respect from co-workers. Think of Julia Gillard’s power-suits.
I thank my parents for never defining what my siblings and I could and couldn’t wear as dress-ups. One week, my brother and I would be princesses, out in our back garden fighting dragons. The next, my sister would be leading us on an adventure as Aladdin, complete with painted beard. When we started bringing our friends home for dinner, we realised pretty quickly that this kind of play was out of the ordinary for many of them. One time, my brother and his friend were running around the house with fairy costumes on, and the boy’s father came to pick him up, only to see his son with a tutu, fairy wings and a face full of glitter. Inexplicably, he was not allowed to come back to our house again.
There is absolutely no natural connection between the body that you are born with and the clothes or ornaments that you may choose to wear. Sure, you may identify as a particular gender, and for most people this is core to their identity. But why not have a go at experimenting with the boundaries of what this means? Why not try on some lipstick or paint on a beard sometime, and just play?
I recently spoke to my parents about their choice to promote this in our house, and to my surprise ‒ given their conservatism in some other aspects of life ‒ they openly said that they had tried to raise us as children in a way that was not dominated by gender. To anyone familiar with gender theory, you’ll know that there is generally a distinction made between sex (the body that you’re born into) and gender (the social trappings that go along with that body). Think about the very first thing asked of a newborn child: “boy or girl?”. While there is very little actual difference in a baby’s body, an immediate answer to this question is essential. Family and friends need to know how they should act around the child, what presents to buy, and how to dress them. Our entire world is gendered. Clothes are the things we own that most closely relate to notions of the body, including gender. Given we live in a society that recognises only two genders, we are encouraged to conform to the dress standards of one of them. And god forbid if we cross those lines. Male cross-dressers are often presented in films and in the media as weirdos or in need of mental help. Even in the 1990s, male cross-dressing was considered a mental disorder by the DSM, a leading psychiatry manual. How do clothes take on such awesome power? In the end, they’re just pieces of fabric. I study archaeology and anthropology, and in these fields, a lot of what we do is attempt to give meaning
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ARE MILENNIALS TRANSGRESSIVE? MARK FABIAN
Watching Van Wylder, American Pie, Zac Efron’s antics in Neighbours or reading this issue of Woroni, one might be led to believe that university is a place of spontaneous threesomes, sex in library stacks and general romantic experimentation. Or at least frequent games of suck and blow.
boomers. Teenage girls from our generation are/were less sexually active than those of generation X, the so-called ”AIDS generation”, and we have fewer unplanned pregnancies and abortions, in large part because we are more responsible about birth control. We are marrying later as well, but not because we’re busy playing the field. Our generation has fewer sexual partners before marriage than gen-X.
Instead, college nowadays seems to more closely resemble 7th Heaven. When was the last time two people had casual sex and didn’t fall straight into a relationship afterwards? Burton and Garran Hall had an unofficial orgy room in the 70s. Now such antics would get you expelled.
Leaving sex for a moment, our generation is less likely than any of the recent generations to have a self-inflicted accident. We have fewer deaths from drug overdoses. We commit fewer crimes. Our American cousins are heavily progressive in their politics.
Rather than transgressive, are millennials actually the most conservative generation since the Great Generation (that’s the one before the boomers)? Let’s have a look at some data. It’s hard to think of a factoid that would confirm or refute the hypothesis that we’re a staid bunch of puritans, but we can get a sketch.
According to Millennials Rising: the next great generation, we’re conventional, focused on security, and pressured to “study hard, avoid personal risks and take full advantage of the collective opportunities adults are offering”.
Fifty Shades of Grey sold 70 million copies. We can’t know how many of those were bought by millennials, but even if it’s just 1%, that’s a lot of S&M.
Armed with that data, let’s speculate: it seems that we are liberal but risk-averse. Life is pretty sweet and we don’t want or need to deviate from the basic narrative to have a great time.
Or is it? Those unfortunate enough to read through Anna’s and Christians psycho-sexual train wreck will know that there isn’t much BDSM in the first book besides one instance of spanking. The raunchiest scene is a dream sequence. In fact, the main theme of the book seems to be insecurity.
Our boomer parents have made us believe we are special and allpowerful. We seek confirmation of that in rapid advancement in meaningful careers and strong, stable, supportive relationships. We’re not squeamish about sex but that also means deviousness has lost a bit of its allure. And we’re not so keen to experiment with intimacy if it might end in a bruised ego. We seem like a very likeable and inevitably successful generation, but also a bit earnest and boring.
Compare this to The Story of O, a bestseller among baby boomers in France, replete with scenes of whipping, group sex, bondage and voluntary human slavery. And let’s not forget the works of the Marquis De Sade, available in all good bookshops during the French enlightenment and overflowing with the most obscene in human sexuality. Turning to more traditional statistics (disclaimer: from the United States), our generation is more likely to think sex is fine, inside and outside of marriage, but we are also losing our virginity later and are slightly less sexually active while at university than the
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YOU CAN’T SAY THAT, IT’S ACTUALLY REALLY OFFENSIVE STUART FERRIE
You possibly know that the Mental Health issue of Woroni was going to be called “Cracked” and this issue “Transgression”. As someone who has bipolar and identifies under the trans umbrella, I could totally say that about myself. My mental health has caused me significant grief over the years and the way I deal with it is by laughing at it. I’d contentedly joke about being cracked. Likewise, my gender. I’d say there is an element of transgression in my gender, in a very Butlerian sense of the word. The difference between myself making these comments and it coming from an institution such as Woroni is that these are my experience to claim and I can reclaim these terms. Reclamation here meaning the taking back of words historically used against certain groups. My personal favourite example here is queer. Yes, people still do have queer yelled at them out of car windows speeding past and it hurts, but there’s so much power in being able to take that word back and say, “Yes. I am queer and this word holds more meaning to me than it does thrown out of a car window”. This isn’t to discount that the politics of reclamation are often hotly contested even within spaces that have the capacity to reclaim a term. During my time as Queer* Officer, I had a number of people express discomfort with the word queer being used by the Queer* Department. It’s always a challenge to incorporate the diversity of voices and experiences that make up the queer community. The reason for much of the discomfort expressed to me was that queer had been used against them as a slur. The only people who do have a say on if a term should be reclaimed are those affected by that term. Let’s unpack both “Cracked” and “Transgression” a little. “Cracked” is easy. It’s a relatively pejorative slang term for insane. Whilst I’m very wary of romanticising mental illness, I’d hope we can move on from flat out insulting people for being mentally ill, especially in an issue of Woroni purporting to raise awareness.
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“Transgression” is more complex. Transgression itself doesn’t have anywhere near the same baggage that cracked those. The important thing here is the context. From the Woroni Submission Guide for semester two, “We want to hear about polyamory, transgender experiences, sex work, and everything in between.” I’d love to hear more about polyamory, trans issues and sex work in Woroni! The issue here is the framing. It feels gawking. I read the subtext of “look at how edgy we’re being at the expense of vulnerable people!”. Trans people and sex workers are some of the most consistently disenfranchised people by society, so does saying, “we’re giving you space, but only if you’re the freak show” really contribute to the improvement of the lives of these people? To Woroni editors and contributors, I know you can do better! We can have a great publication without contributing further to the difficulty of the lives of some of society’s most vulnerable. I’m glad that you’ve listened when it’s been requested that you change, but it’d be better if you never had to be told off in the first place. Stuart Ferrie was Queer* Officer for 2013.
#wedon’tsay Ursula Hall has a campaign called #wedon’tsay. It’s a collection of posters around the college that have prominent members of the college with quotes attributed to them like “I don’t say fag because it only serves to hurt and oppress gay men” or “I don’t say whore because it degrades women and their personal sexual freedom”. These posters have been, by no measure uncontentious. They have suffered vandalism, theft, or just general derision from mainly visitors to the hall, but also from some residents. I recently had a conversation with a newer resident, whose argument can be paraphrased as follows: “I mean, I feel like I should be able to say retarded without other residents breathing down my neck. Obviously I try not to say it, but it just feels like a nanny state when someone says #wedon’tsay every time I say anything remotely offensive. And more than that, it just shuts down the debate. If I can’t say something without offending someone, then there are legitimate viewpoints that just can’t be expressed.” This view is more widely held about politically correct speech in general: the proponents of the view believe politically correct speech has the right intent, but also that a little bit of catharsis every now and then is fine, and so is genuine criticism of certain movements and groups. This article is a response to those views.
NISHANTH PATHY
pejorative value). The cost is quite obviously less for one group. I’ll let you figure out which. But Nishanth, I hear you say (looking at you, libertarian scum), what about being able to express possibly offensive arguments that have real merit? This, once more, is an argument with legitimate weight. It is eminently possible that there are criticisms of the queer* movement, or of Islamic communities, that could well offend members of those communities and remain true. There is, however, a distinction between saying something that could offend someone, and saying something inherently offensive. Words like “faggot” and “slut” add nothing to a debate – they exist purely to offend. It is probably valid to say that promiscuity is increasing, and that we should lament the loss of monogamy as the dominant and exclusive relationship norm. It is probably not valid to say that today’s women are a bunch of sluts who are destroying society with their sleeping around. Note how one of them can be read as offensive. The other one is just inherently offensive. Pretty much any viewpoint can be expressed in a way that doesn’t make your average person want to cringe. If the opinion can’t be expressed like that, it’s probably not an opinion that would have advanced the debate much in any case.
Firstly, in direct response to the freedom of expression. That is to say, there are genuinely well meaning people who probably think that it’s unacceptable to use “nigger” pejoratively, but think that “retarded” and “fag” are borderline, mostly inoffensive and therefore probably okay if used in moderation. There is some validity to this argument – it is almost certainly true that, used between two heterosexual friends, “fag” can have friendship value as almost a term of endearment, just as hurling “retarded” as an insult can be incredibly cathartic. So these words have value to their users – that’s not in question. The issue is whether or not the value to the users is worth the damage it causes to relevant parties. For someone who has suffered targeted insults as a queer* person, or for a person with a disability, those words often go beyond merely offensive. They can be debilitating triggers for anxiety, depression and any host of other mental health problems. More importantly, even if “in context” that word was meant innocently, that doesn’t take away the host of negative connotations that those pejoratives normally bring. This is why the “get over it” argument is holistically invalid – there is a cost to not being able to say the word (loss of catharsis, inability to call someone a “fag” in a friendly way), and there is a cost to being able to say the word (debilitating mental health problems, the sense that your demographic is worth little more than its
People may deride campaigns to the effect of #wedon’tsay. They are often called overreach, oversensitive, and left-wing dogma. But Ursies seems to be fine. There’s still debate there, people still interact without slowly dissecting each of their statements for possible offense, but I’ve never heard anyone be called a whore there. I’ve never heard anyone be called a faggot. And the fact that those people who are the most vulnerable, who are most able to be hurt by those comments, can live safely without fear of verbal attack seems to be worth the inconvenience of some person who can’t say “this is retarded” when their computer doesn’t work.
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GOING THE DISTANCE Condoms. A crude reminder of my unwillingness to be only with her. After a night of passion I had hurried out of the house, rushing from politics tute to French class, to lunch, to work, to dinner and finally I am in her arms and we are making out and then the pillow moves and there they are. Two guilty condom wrappers sit on my mattress, symptoms of something that isn’t infidelity, but which I know hurts her almost as much.
SYLVIA GUNN
and let your love for one person remain just as strong as you fall for another. Somehow no matter how much you communicate, someone ends up confused. The condom wrappers were the symptom of a bad idea, at least from his point of view. Now I understand why so many of my progressive, intelligent friends don’t think they could handle polyamory. It isn’t so much the communication factor: as things evolve, particularly in large, interwoven-community style relationships unlike mine, this can be complex and time consuming, but worth it to keep everyone happy. In fact the norm of honest, detailed communication should exist no matter how many people you are seeing, to lessen the risk of jealousy, heartbreak and betrayal. It’s hard to communicate your emotions when you’re not sure how you feel. My mind was a confusing place as all this happened, and eventually I decided it was easier to figure out myself by myself. Maybe it will work someday, but I’m not in the right place for polyamory right now. So I went from two lovers to zero.
Out of distance, convenience and what I thought was a mutual desire to hook up with others, we decided not to be exclusive. Neither of us was really happy with it, but living in different cities makes it harder to stay on the same page. She felt threatened by a guy who I was sleeping with regularly, and I felt threatened by an ex she’d hooked up with since meeting me. Later she revealed that she didn’t really want the open-ness. She hadn’t wanted to look too keen, and more than anything she didn’t want me to feel bad for wanting other people. In the end she made me think I meant less to her than I did. Lying there in bed, legs entangled, the condom wrappers beside us were awkward witnesses to the scene; the deliberate action of throwing them in the bin would be too strained. The last thing either of us wanted was for the other to feel uncomfortable, and yet, as we discussed what we could call each other, and the ideal situation for each of us, the awkwardness was tangible. I, like the condoms, witnessed the situation, a central character but unable to express my true feelings. In the past I’ve been committed to the point of being almost insular, and perhaps I’ve developed a fear of doing that again. I fear the idea of long distance, imagining that I would be either too distant or completely besotted, abandoning work, friends and academic commitments to take spontaneous bus trips to see her. I don’t want to end up spending nights swooning through the phone, my social life becoming something of the past. I’ve never been one to find the healthy medium. When I first started seeing two people, I was surprised how many friends said polyamory would be too hard for them. I thought that with enough communication it would all work out, and besides, I felt so lucky to have two different people keen to be my non-exclusive lovers. In the end, my emotions would be my own enemy. It isn’t easy to defy ingrained societal expectations
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THE
PA R A D O X E S
TOLERANT COMMENT
Consider this tale by philosopher Slavoj Zizek: as a ten-year-old boy in the sixties, every few months you would be ordered to visit your grandmother. You weren’t really given a choice. It was something that you had to do. Your father would tell you the time you had to be up, get ready and leave for your nana’s place. You had to be on your best behavior or there would be consequences. Sounds terrible. Now think of a neoliberal father of the modern century. No longer is it an obligation to make that trip. It is up to you to make the decision. You only have to do it if you like it. Sounds almost too good to be true. The reason it makes you suspicious is because it is. Beneath that mask of tolerance and free choice is an implicit message. The little manipulative message hinting that not only do you now have to visit your grandmother, but you have to like it. It’s a truly wonderful way of doing things. As again illustrated by Zizek, these apparent in-built paradoxes are now no longer the exception to most social and economic systems that have been established, but actually the norm. The neo-liberal capitalist of the early seventies and eighties (read George Soros), was a man who literally destroyed the world in the morning and tried to use the money he earned to fix it in the evening. What we have now is an in-built mechanism that tries to counterbalance the evils of the system within that structure. Take any of the millions of different schemes that corporations put out to try and make consumers feel that they are doing their bit for society within
VISHESH AGARWAL
their consumerist acts. For every Starbucks coffee that you buy, some percentage goes to the advocates of free trade coffee in trying to build a more transparent mechanism so that coffee growers all around the world are compensated fairly. Campaigns by stationery manufacturers where some percentage of profits goes to providing education to children from poor backgrounds. Or some shoe manufacturers that claim that for every pair you buy, another pair goes to the little children in some sub-Saharan country walking around in their bare feet. These are classic examples of what researchers are calling cultural capitalism. The paradox of tolerance is a very interesting one. The earlier civil movements against racial discrimination were never about tolerance. It was a fight for basic rights in society, a fight for social justice and a fight for equality. It was never about one race being more “tolerant” of another. The use of the word “tolerance” to try and solve problems of inequality, racism and other acts of oppression is a step backwards. Signs of such paradoxes are becoming more apparent day by day. Take the example of Anders Breivik, the Norwegian who went on a mass killing rampage in Norway. Breivik very clearly in his manifesto points out his anti-Semitic views. He says that the Jews aren’t really a problem in continental Europe as their numbers have been kept in control, but their lobby in the United Kingdom and the U.S. is a sign of worry and has to be controlled. And yet, Breivik is a complete Zionist. He believes that the Israeli state
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has a right to protect its culture and race from the neighboring Arab fundamentalists. Or the more recent example of Glenn Beck, the news anchor who got fired for his anti-Semitic comments on national television, is very well known for his public pro-Zion stance. If an antiSemitic Zionist isn’t an oxymoron, I don’t know what is! The elephant in the room is of course China. For all the fervor that was built up by Thatcher and Reagan around capitalism and democracy going hand in hand. Combining Stalin’s authoritarianism with Milton’s free market capitalism, China has beaten the West at its own game. Double digit GDP growth for the past twenty years is something that cannot be imagined in any other democratically governed nation. How has the Party then managed to do this? One of the ways is close monitoring of the way China’s history and legacy is presented. For all of Mao’s excesses and errors, which are officially documented in Deng Xiaoping’s famous quote of “seventy percent positive and thirty percent negative”, Mao’s image is still celebrated as that of the founding father of the nation. This way the Chinese can have their cake and eat it too – economic liberalisation combined with party rule. Looking at these seemingly individual paradoxical phenomenon through a larger ideological prism also throws up some interesting results. No longer is the prevalent ideology in the world a need to sacrifice oneself for a collectivist
cause. Neither is it a sort of completely hedonistic approach advocated by the likes of Uncle Milton, where greed and self interest are the tools taking the world forward through new innovation. The thought process is more of the form where you are told to be true to yourself, lead a good life and so on. A sort of spiritualised hedonism where the neo-liberal capitalist approach has been dressed up in seemingly Buddhist like concepts of Zen, happiness and prosperity. What are the consequences of such a prevailing sinister ideology that Zizek alludes to? The most apparent one is a more apathetic, individualistic society. If I’m already convinced that my act of consumerism is itself solving the problem that it creates, why should I bother to do a bit more? At a broader level, it hands over the initiative of bringing about social movements back to the multinational corporations that are the reason for us being in this position. Power centers that treat catastrophes and disasters as unique buying opportunities are the same ones being handed the responsibility of making sure that such situations do not arise. It is a classic case of a conflict of interest.
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C A N D I DA T E STAT E M E N T S Jordon Morrissey: I am a graduate student in the sciences (mathematics), and current Woroni columnist, with a passion for communication and active engagement in media and democracy. I have been actively involved with Woroni for three years. Through my ongoing involvement with student media I have developed a strong understanding of the direction that Woroni needs to pursue, so student media can provide value to students. It is my belief that as student media moves away from physical print and
Finn Pederson: Hi there, I am currently a sub-editor at Woroni Radio and wish to apply for general editor of Woroni Radio. Since I arrived at the ANU I have wanted to get involved in not just Woroni Radio but radio more generally. My enthusiasm is most comprehensively prevalent in my show on Woroni Radio, called ‘Not Quite Disco’. On my show I look at disco, funk and house music from around the world and this has not only fuelled my passion for music but also helped me get involved in the engineering and management of the radio.
Caitlin Magee: Hello! My name is Caitlin Magee and I’m a Music/Law student. Since coming to ANU, I’ve been working with Woroni Radio through my radio show “Hidden Sounds”, which was voted best show on Woroni Radio in 2014 and as a Radio Sub-Editor in 2015. My experience working with Woroni has led me to build some incredible networks within the Canberra music/arts scene, which has inspired me to branch out further and improve the quality and content of our radiowaves and newspaper. As an editor, I aim to ensure that we
towards digital content, we should leverage the advantages that come with this shift. Woroni is the forum for collaboration between content producers, artists and community organisations. A place to share and develop skills for future careers as influencers and public actors. I will listen to students and contributors to better meet their needs from student media.
relevant. I will expand professional development projects like ‘Woroni weekend’. As well as establish permanent links between professional and student media. A vote for me is a vote for a strong, exciting, and ambitious future for student media on campus.
I will establish collaboration networks with other student media organisations, increase the volume of online content, and move the “comment” section online to keep it My enthusiasm extends beyond Woroni as I also help run a show on 2xx FM called “Soul Crane” and volunteer at the station sorting their vinyl collection. Further, I help organise music gigs across Canberra and do DJing around the city. Taken together, my passion and enthusiasm for radio has sparked my interest in the editorship of Woroni Radio. Kind regards, Finn
have quality multimedia equipment and training for students to enhance their creative projects and contributions. As a music student I have met many talented individuals and have used some of the professional facilities that our campus holds. I hope to build a relationship with the School of Music and School of Art to increase participation from our campus talent and usage of facilities. It is also my vision to see a greater collaboration between print and radio with recorded coverage on campus wide events. And lastly, I want to make sure Woroni a fun, open and engaging platform for all students to be creative. Lets keep
Woroni live and local!
Andrew Cavenagh: Hi! My name is Andrew Cavenagh and I am a third year Commerce/ Law student running for editor. I have had experience writing and editing publications for the past five years, both at ANU and in Sydney. I am running for Woroni editor to bring new vision and energy into the publication. My aim for Woroni 2016 is to create a publication that is relevant to the student body, with high quality content and above all a sense of fun. My vision includes: 1. Establish a Woroni mentoring scheme. Create a system where
Ria Pflaum: I’m a Bachelor of Arts student currently in my second year. Throughout my time at ANU, I have often encountered instances where the same voices and opinions dominate the university narrative. As a result, I have become particularly passionate about diversity in media. I perceive Woroni as a platform for telling stories, particularly those that might not otherwise be heard. After being involved with Woroni as Arts & Reviews Sub-Editor in the first semester of 2015, and currently as a News Correspondent, I can see how Woroni’s unique position in the ANU community can represent
Ivana Smojver: Hi! My name is Ivy or as some of you may know me Ivanhoe, Wolly (Woroni Dolly) and Dickie. I am smarmy exemplar of law/ accounting student and for as long as I can remember writing has been my greatest passion, which is why I want to become a Woroni editor. I started my adventure with Woroni about six months ago and have relished every finger-licking, sleepless, defamatory (almost) minute of being the satire Sub-editor for semester 2, 2015. My goals for Woroni are to: 1. Expand the satire section (and take over the universe)
Remy Szabo: I’m Remy, a Canberra born IR student with a keen interest in media and journalism. I’m one half of the Trilla Nights team on Woroni Radio alongside the marvelous Sam Hall, showcasing the very best in hip hop. I also write occasionally for Woroni. I am hoping to undertake a Graduate Diploma in Journalism at the conclusion of my undergraduate degree and I’m thankful to Woroni for giving me the opportunity to involve myself in the type of work I hope to soon do professionally. I hope you’ll vote for me to become Woroni editor as I will bring vigour
experienced contributors mentor inexperienced contributors as well as writers’ meetings. This will help develop younger contributors for Woroni, as well as providing additional leadership avenues for experienced contributors.
at ANU! Woroni should have a gig guide (not just reviews of events) and reports on ANU sport teams, particularly grand finals.
2. Improve coverage of issues. Actually asking probing questions about the issues facing campus and the news topics rather than just recounting what has happened. Currently there is not a culture of deep analysis at Woroni that we need to change. 3. Embrace and promote the talent of ANU. There are so many great sporting and musical events more voices throughout ANU, as it provides hyper-local news and gives power to the stories that affect students and student life.
contributors, especially first time contributors, this would promote an inclusive environment.
Woroni has an important function to foster creative spirit in the ANU student body. As Editor, I would encourage creativity by increasing communication between Editors and Sub-Editors, which would improve feedback and quality of works submitted, and running workshops for students who are interested in media. These workshops would work to upskill the student populace in communication, and boost student confidence in writing and Woroni respectively. Helping to remove any trepidation amongst
2. Break down the barrier between the Board of Directors and writers thereby increasing Woroni’s contribution base 3. Host way more parties and come up with great ideas at these parties about ways Woroni can explore the diverse interests of its growing readership 4. Fail a law course because I’ll be exhausted by this point 5.
Take over the world (again)*
As you can see, the future for Woroni is grim. But with great power comes great responsibility. When all the and enthusiasm to the role. This years ANUSA elections underlined students’ concerns regarding political affiliations and stupol’s relationship with Woroni. I can assure my fellow students that I, if given the chance, will perform my role with integrity and without favours. I have no political affiliations or affiliations to stupol tickets; in fact I dislike all politicians equally. Woroni is crucial to informing the student body about the goings on of the university, it is vital that students can trust Woroni: and with fresh faces and a new approach we can deliver a publication that students can have confidence in.
dust settles, I know we all want a student newspaper that is more daring, transparent, inspiring and open-minded than the last edition. *Steps not in logical order.
WAT ER IN A WASTEL A N D SCIENCE
Are we alone in the Universe? The profound desire to answer this question is shared across humanity, independent of nationality, gender or race. As our technologies continue to improve, we move closer to finding an answer which, either way, would shape our perspective of the cosmos and our place within it. Recently NASA made a truly remarkable announcement regarding Mars. Though it wasn’t the discovery of Martians (not including Matt Damon), it was a huge step in the right direction. Water. It’s the most prominent feature we see when looking at photos of the Earth and is essential to life as we know it. In 2002, scientists confirmed that water exists on our red neighbour, albeit
MAXWELL JONES
in the form of ice. Though this was an astounding achievement at the time, recent research using the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter (MRO) appears to confirm that the more desirable liquid state of the molecule has been discovered.
either the dark streaks themselves or a process that forms them is the source of the hydration. In either case, the detection of hydrated salts on these slopes means that water plays a vital role in the formation of these streaks.” To investigate these streaks further, samples would need to be taken from the ground for analysis. Although it might appear that NASA’s Curiosity rover is in a perfect position to conduct this operation, Article IX of the Outer Space Treaty prevents it from doing so. It states: “Parties to the Treaty shall pursue studies of outer space, including the moon and other celestial bodies, and conduct exploration of them so as to avoid their harmful contamination.”
The evidence for this announcement comes from the analysis of dark streaks on the Martian surface, that fade out during cooler seasons, before returning as temperatures rise. Results from the imaging spectrometer on board the MRO, suggest that these dark streaks are the consequence of hydrated minerals. Lujendra Ojha, a scientist at the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta, stated: “we found the hydrated salts only when the seasonal features were widest, which suggests that
Rich Zurek, one of the scientists
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working on the MRO, explained: “because liquid water appears to be present, these regions are considered special regions where we have to take extra precautions to prevent contamination by earth life.” This restricts the access of the Curiosity rover, as it has “not been sterilised to the degree needed to go to an area where liquid water may be present”. Therefore it may be some time before we know if microscopic life is indeed thriving on the planet, as researchers want to ensure that if life is discovered, it originated on Martian surface and not back on Earth. Regardless, discoveries of this nature are encouraging, as we continue our search for extraterrestrial life.
Week 11, Semester 2, 2015.
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//SCIENCE
I N T E R NAT I O NA L H E A LT H A N D W E L L B E I NG C O N F E R E N C E H E LS I N K I , F I N L A N D SCIENCE This past September, two ANU medical students travelled to Helsinki, Finland for the Hintsa Performance health and wellbeing conference. Hintsa Performance is a European based leader in health and wellbeing optimisation for athletes and corporate health. The company is best known for their work in Formula 1, where they have assisted 7 of the last 8 Formula 1 World Champions. They apply the same health and wellbeing principles to all their clients, whether they be a top athlete, a businessman or a regular university student. Medicine is increasingly leaning towards a proactive model of patient care, attempting to prevent health and wellbeing conditions before they arise. This is in an attempt to improve patients’ lives and also reduce the ballooning healthcare costs. So, what better way to learn
MARC VAN ZEYL & ADAM COSTANZO how to effectively implement such an approach to solving these issues than by learning from one of Europe’s leaders in the field?
goals. Following this, the conference focused on discussing the different elements of health and wellbeing. There were world wide experts presenting the latest scientific research on six elements: · Physical activity · Sleep and recovery · Nutrition · Biomechanics · General health · Mental energy
The key idea of the Hintsa conference was to first understand the “core” of who we are, and then build a strong foundation of health and wellbeing to give us the energy to live our lives. The “core” was the central focus of the philosophy. It encompasses clarifying who we are, what we stand for, and how we want to live our lives. Hintsa clients are challenged to answer the following questions: · Who am I? · What do I want? · Am I in control? In asking ourselves these questions we are able to determine our identity, purpose and the control necessary to motivate ourselves toward our
The key messages across the presentations were for people to have balance across all the elements. Not to be perfect just with your training or your diet, but to ensure, for example, you get good daily movement, have good eating principles, create a good sleeping environment and address any health problems early and completely.
The mental energy presentations were particularly interesting. They broke down our lives into three areas: our work environment, our social environment, and ourselves. The message was to optimise, in each area, what gives us energy, and to minimise what takes our energy. It was a very simple approach to analyse our lives. In summary, the Hintsa Performance conference was not so much about new quick fixes for a healthy life, it was more about bringing together and integrating many of the health messages that we have heard and that have scientific validity. The message was to simplify, but most importantly have balance of the different elements of our health and wellbeing.
A LETTER T O THE PRIME MINISTER SCIENCE Dear Mr Turnbull, The state of our nation’s politics may be in some turmoil, but I’m sure science enthusiasts around the country rejoiced at the news of your recent Prime Ministership. Australian science has suffered a generation of funding cuts, though hopefully this situation will improve under the leadership of someone who at least appreciates the role that science and technology has in our future. The decline of Australian scientific innovation is undeniable, and much of it is due to the lack of support, and hence encouragement of younger generations, towards scientific education and industry. The nation’s innovative research group, NICTA, lasted just over a decade after it was forced to merge with CSIRO due to a massive decline in funding. The nation’s chief scientific organisation has also not been immune, with over $115 million slashed in the 2014 budget over the next four years. Six research centres were closed last year
YIFEI HUANG communications and networks conference in Sydney. You were still the Minister for Communications and your position on the NBN was made perfectly clear. Your criticism of the Labor party’s NBN proposal based heavily on optical technology might have struck a nerve with some, in particular the attack on Prof. Rod Tucker’s opinions, arguably Australia’s leading optical broadband communications expert. Ironically, or perhaps cleverly planned, he was in attendance during your tirade, and was actually the keynote speaker to follow you. Though it seems your opinions have changed somewhat since then, I hope that those who disagreed with you can see that you now take such technologies seriously and recognise their importance.
as a result, not just costing hundreds of jobs, but also severely damaging the future of science in this county. It is delusional to think that Australia will continue to thrive economically and socially, if such cuts to funding continue. Powerful nations, both historically and in modern times, have one thing in common – they are pioneers of technology and innovation, and as such do not rely on others to ensure their living standards. Australia is already geographically isolated from the rest of the developed world – it would be unjust if we let our nation become scientifically and technologically isolated as well. More importantly, the rewards of scientific endeavour are often felt many years in the future. Scientific support is a critical investment for now and the future – but I’m sure, unlike other politicians, that you understand and have witnessed firsthand the importance of a good investment.
Mere recognition of science and technology’s role is not enough, as action must be taken. Of course, it would be an easy fix to simply inject more funding into our universities and create more research centres. But just as paramount is the
I attended a speech you gave in June last year during an international
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encouragement of students and children to actively engage in scientific education. It is in our current culture for brilliant students to study law or medicine, but I hope that in the future scientific disciplines will be held in equal regard. I am not an avid follower of politics, and am certainly not qualified to voice opinions on how science should be managed on a national level. Though as a student of science and technology, I cannot stress strongly enough the importance of science in all aspects of our nation’s development. I had always believed that you displayed the right qualities and experience to lead our nation one day, and now that you do, I am hopeful that Australia will seize the opportunity to truly make an impact in our future advancement. One that is not driven by bureaucracy and empty promises, but by innovation, calculated decisions and an active pursuit of scientific application. Sincerely, A supporter of science
I NT RODU CING LOVE YO URSE L F WE E K
I N CON V E R SAT I O N WI TH
H ELENA H U A N D J ESS WAT HELENA HU & JESS WAT H: Hello lovely people! We’re here to introduce you to Love Yourself Week 2015,ANU’s first body image positivity week. J: We’re super excited that our brainchild is all grown up, and ready to take the campus by storm next week! H: Starting October 19, we’re asking you to try and let go of any self-doubt, self-hate, and to embrace yourself as you are. J: We will have speaker panels with academics and mental health organizations, a No Lights No Lycra dance event, a men’s body image discussion panel, a movie night, and other really exciting events. Universal Lunch Hour is going to a really amazing time—think petting zoos and selfie booths! H: We started this project because it’s taken us both a long time to love ourselves as we are, and to
know that we are good enough. As ANUSA Gen Reps, we are very lucky to be in a position where we have been able to easily access the resources and support to make this dream come true—to let everyone on campus be surrounded by positivity and acceptance for the week, and take time to celebrate themselves.
however your body functions, it is beautiful and deserving of love—self- love, and the love of others. J: We have worked with the Departments to bring you events that will hopefully raise awareness of lived experiences can affect your body-love in completely different ways. We will be talking about men’s body image, queer body image, and non-able-bodied body image amongst others.
J: A lot of the time people don’t often reflect on their uniqueness or on what they love about themselves. Unfortunately society has come to idealise a specific set a traits as the universal standard of beauty that all women should measure themselves against, regardless of how unrealistic or unhealthy that may be.
H: We would like to ask you, before we go, to please keep an open mind next week. Please try your best to understand these undoubtedly complex and challenging issues, and to be as supportive of yourself and any others who may be going through a difficult time.
H: We want to ask you to pause, to understand and challenge these one-dimensional society constructs, and ultimately come to know that whatever you look like on the outside or
J: We truly hope that you will enjoy yourselves during this week, and take something
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positive away from it! If at any time during Love Yourself Week you require assistance, the ANU Counseling Centre have 28 walk-in emergency appointments per day. Please call 6125 2442 or make an appointment at the Centre at 9am. Butterfly National Support Line and Web Counseling Service - support, advice, counseling and referral., Monday to Friday, 8am to 9pm. Tel: 1800 33 4673 ACT Eating Disorder Program (and referral advice). Monday - Friday 9am-5pm Tel: 6205 1519 If you are worried about someone after hours call: ACT Mental Health Crisis Assessment and Treatment Team (CATT) on 6205 1065 or 1800 629 354 Lifeline on 13 11 14.
FOLLOWING IN THE FOOTSTEPS
warm, slowly moving colours ISAAC DUGDALE What do you look at when you go clubbing? I’ve always found it a bit awkward - avoiding eye contact with people, trying to make eye contact with other people, trying not to be that person on the dancefloor staring into space. At live shows and festivals, of course, you can watch the performance. Some DJs are interesting enough to watch for sustained periods. But for a standard club or bar night, half an hour or so after I arrive, I often am left wondering where to look. Canberra has been steadily solving this dilemma. A Baker has hosted another string of Digital Feasts, giving their projector over to the ANU Art School for the night and challenging them to keep pace with the music. La De Da has a crew of projectionists to keep things fresh and interesting at most of their gigs, and hosts the sporadic VideoWars where visual artists can flex in the centre of attention. Mr Wolf has sick lights on the roof ‒ I was a sceptic at first, but apparently they are able to be controlled by the DJ, so it’s easy to program them to react to the music and change organically, rather than remain stuck on the same setting every night as often seen in other clubs. Ask 10 VJs (as projection artists are
sometimes called) how they get pretty colours on the wall, and you’ll get 15 answers. I’ve seen programming geniuses code physics programs to represent water flowing, 3D animations made from scratch, YouTube videos, clips from Donnie Darko, hand drawn stop-motion, and the view from a camera pointed at the audience that is then heavily distorted. Blind-drunk patrons aside, I think that clubbers in general should expect more from their dancefloors. Keep an eye out for warm, slowly moving colours on your next night at a forward-thinking venue, and get excited for projections at this year’s Oktoberfest. Isaac is a Woroni Editor and uniVibes Director.
I question, but don’t engage Ask, but not intrigue Speak, but not converse Back of the line, and usually lost; Connect, but not with their dots, High , but not enough, Observing, but hardly observed Loving, yet seemingly unloved, Outspoken, yet stifled by fears, Crippled, by my body’s own desires, And alive, but hardly in motion. As I take the flight, Wandering into a calm night, Those memories, They began to fly with me. . Where indeed did you go, my Conviction! My Passion, My Desire, My Character’s Concoction! Why did you leave me then, At a time when I needed you most; Why didn’t you come back for me, When I had lost sight, The Fight, And the Dream? I need you now, To find me out, As I hide under the sheets, Blinded in heart, body and soul, Perverse, maligned and incapacitated! Do not rest, I beg, Till you can hunt me down, And take Me from my Own, Away, from my habits prone, Rediscover in me, My Truth, Return to me, My Values, Push me, through treacherous paths, For there is much due, Today, tomorrow, And a Time Anew!
AVNAV NAYAN PUJARA
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UNDERSTANDING
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C A I T LY N A N D J A Z Z ARTS & REVIEWS Keeping up with the Kardashians is not my idea of a good time. In fact I struggle to pay attention for longer than fifteen seconds when watching any fly on the wall style docu-soapies. I do not see the appeal in watching the everyday lives of “real” housewives or skinny orange girls hooking up with roided up orange guys: seriously or ironically. I really just do not care about what’s in any of their salads. But when Caitlyn Jenner (formerly Bruce Jenner) came out as transgender in her interview with Diane Sawyer and then subsequently announced the eight part documentary series I am Cait, I fell for the hype. I totally wanted to know what was up with the Kardashians (for those unaware, Bruce Jenner is Kim K’s step-dad) even if it meant I had to listen to Kylie squeal about her new hair extensions. Considering Jenner’s family and the life in front of the camera she has had, I was more than just a little curious how her transgender experience would be construed and exhibited for the world to see. I am ashamed to admit but I was hoping for some good ol’ fashioned Kardashian melodrama. And boy, did they disappoint. The same people responsible for Keeping up with the Kardashians produced I am Cait so I was expecting the sensational and the dramatic. Instead I found myself regarding the show as tasteful and nuanced. From the beginning it is clear that Jenner wholeheartedly intends for the documentary to be a platform to educate the general public about transgender issues and as a way of connecting
PRAMILAA SHIVAKKUMAR with and giving hope to alienated transgender teens. It’s not about all about Cait and this endeavor is more than admirable. The first episode almost felt like a “how to” guide on how to support transgender people when we see Caitlyn’s mother visit for the first time since her transition, and then later when Caitlyn visits teenager Kyler Prescott’s parents (Kyler committed suicide due to being bullied for being transgender). These moments are touching, and will hopefully have a powerful effect in raising awareness about transgender issues because Jenner’s relationship with the Kardashians means her show will reach a broader audience. But these moments are also few and far between.
huge sigh of relief from her when she came out as her true self, I don’t think that necessarily comes with a new sense of humour. Bruce Jenner was an athlete, failed actor and reality TV dad and in the end I don’t consider him a strong enough personality to carry the show and engage the sympathies and interests of audiences on a more human level. Jazz Jennings, a transgender teenager and star of similar reality show I am Jazz, however, does not seem to have any problems in this regard. Jazz Jennings is a regular middle schooler but also happens to be transgender. Jazz is excessively charismatic, articulate and confident for a pubescent. Her adorable family also happens to indistinguishable from the average Disney family. Jazz’s parents and siblings accepted and embraced her transgender identity when she was just three years old. Despite being on hormone blockers Jazz appears to be like any other well-adjusted teenager. But then of course she goes shopping for bikinis with her sister and you realise that it’s not all sunshine and daisies and sleepovers with your besties. When her parents worry about Jazz going into high school you realise there is bullying and depression and alienation and teenage suicide. The glossy perfect life the show presents of her family is overshadowed by the reality it also suggests of the life we know most transgender people face in the real world. Jazz is lucky that her family is open hearted and open minded and that during her childhood she can luxuriate in the bliss of familial love.
Caitlyn Jenner is a public figure and has been a reality TV star for some time now and this, unfortunately, is probably the series’ undoing. The documentary feels overly scripted, and the incredible experience of transition comes out muffled in the world of celebrity in which artifice replaces authenticity. Caitlyn Jenner’s suave persona in front of the camera leaves us wanting more in terms of visceral emotions. Essentially, for a documentary it feels overly scripted and lacking in spontaneity. I found the first episode a slightly boring, predictable and almost preachy. Just because Caitlyn is transgender does not make her “cool” all of a sudden, or at the very least it can only make her so interesting. Caitlyn Jenner is still in many ways Bruce Jenner (only amnesia can wash away sixty four years of your life) and though there was probably a
with her friends and boys are invited. Hanging out with the opposite sex when you’re fourteen can be stressful enough just being cisgender, let alone transgender. When Jazz becomes upset that some of the boys don’t come because she is transgender it results in boy drama: it’s literally every teenage girl’s life story. Jazz later tells her mother “I just want to be loved” (which is when the tears start). The melodrama of being a teenager and the ubiquitous transformative process of puberty which we all go through is brought into line with Jazz’s more unique experience of being transgender and in the end, it’s not hard to see that she’s still just a kid and that is hard enough, so why on earth should she have to deal with these extra hurdles? The vulnerability of the awkward teen phase gives Jazz an intensely likeable and relatable quality. The narrative is universal and thus more appealing than Caitlyn’s story. In the end both Cait and Jazz take on the task of normalising transgender identity by welcoming us into their lives and despite the fact that it’s still early days it seems like both shows are more than capable of achieving this. Cait and Jazz, from their variously unique positions, are creating narratives about the transgender experience in mainstream media to help us all achieve further understanding and if you don’t know all that much about transgender issues like I didn’t, tuning in for an episode will prove extremely educational but also emotionally moving.
In the second episode Jazz goes bowling
THE REAL INSPECTOR HOUND ARTS & REVIEWS Arts and Reviews Sub-Editor Louise Keast enjoyed a coffee with Jill Masters, the Director of the latest National University Theatre Society production, The Real Inspector Hound. Louise: Would you be able to tell me about your experiences leading up to this point? Jill: The first time I directed was in 2012. I adapted, abridged, and designed Finding Nemo for the stage. Our cast consisted entirely of adolescent teenage girls. It was ridiculous, lots of hormonal teens wearing cloth-sacks that were meant to make them look like clownfish, but it was one of the most enjoyable experiences I’ve ever had. Even on that small scale, it made me appreciate how much of themselves directors have to invest in their productions. I loved that process, so that was the impetus that pushed me to do this. L: How did you become involved with N.U.T.S? J: Back in 2013, I worked on N.U.T.S.’ The Female of the Species as an assistant-stagemanager. Possibly the lowest rung into
LOUISE KEAST audience in mind throughout?
which you can enter student theatre. But it was great fun, and between vacuuming the stage I got to design props and work meaningfully with actors. From there I guess I’ve just kept working with N.U.T.S. I’ve been involved behind the scenes on five shows now, and when the opportunity arose to direct I jumped at it. I’ve always wanted to direct a Tom Stoppard play. The theme of this year’s N.U.T.S season, Two, is a great fit for Hound, as the script pivots on the dynamic collapse of illusion and reality.
J: I was very wary when proposing a N.U.T.S play to have the audience in mind. I chose a short comedy; the play’s run time is about 80 minutes. Shorter than some British miniseries episodes. I want to show our audience that even though the play was written in 1961, its themes – and its comedy - maintain its relevance. All of its witticisms can be transposed into the 21st Century in a really natural and valuable way. While theatre at ANU is already successful, I wanted to show that productions are more than just some event to attend to support a friend or ogle a lead. Theatre is genuine, rewarding, and inimitably energetic. A leisure activity, just like seeing a movie. Just like going to the pub. At Hound, you can spend less than a pint laughing your ass off for eighty minutes straight.
L: What is it about Tom Stoppard that you found attractive? J: Stoppard is a landmark playwright. He was a formative figure in the British theatrical tradition. He shaped stage comedy. His plays are extremely wordy, but also very short and very funny, brimful with shitty puns and wordplay. I guess it’s his wit that I’ve always been attracted to. And while it can be taken as esoteric, I wanted our approach to the script to break down that esotericism. I wanted to create a piece of theatre that is completely accessible to students. L: So you have directed the play with the
L: How has it been working with the cast? Do they have theatrical backgrounds or were they ANU students who were eager to do something different? J: It’s a small group; between cast and
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crew we have 12 people. A mixture of folks who have theatre backgrounds – even professional experience - and others who have never even been in an amateur production before. In auditions, I was most interested in the energy that people brought. This has worked really well, and it’s the most dynamic cast with which I’ve ever worked. Stoppard’s original casting prescribes a 75% male and 25% female cast. In our production, it’s the inverse. One man, Sam Duncan, even plays the role of a wizened old lady. With brilliant physical comedy, I must say. Each cast member – despite experience, despite the physical prescriptions of their role - really shines. It was important to me to use The Real Inspector Hound as an opportunity to showcase the talent we have available to us at ANU. It abounds. I hope that comes across in our production. The final production in the 2015 N.U.T.S. Season, The Real Inspector Hound runs from Wednesday 14 – Saturday 17 October at the ANU Arts Centre Drama Lab.
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//ARTS & REVIEWS
A S TAT E O F G R AC E ANNA MILLIGAN
ARTS & REVIEWS I preface this by saying that the Buckleys are a big deal in my family. My mother, a self-described “original” Jeff Buckley fan, has instilled many values in me, and from an early age this included an appreciation of Jeff, Nick Cave, and any angsty music. “Hallelujah” is to be sung by Leonard Cohen, Jeff Buckley or possibly Rufus Wainwright - simple as that. “Don’t mess with perfection” is the message there. Perfectly acceptable behaviour in my family was for my cousin, only 16 or 17 at the time, to be driven from Lismore to Brisbane with a fake ID to see Jeff’s concert. Not even a second thought. As for Tim Buckley, there are some in my family firmly in Tim’s camp, with one uncle going as far to describe Jeff as a “pretender”, which is blasphemy in mum’s eyes. Long and the short of it is that Buckley love runs deep, and I was both nervous and excited to see whether or not A State of Grace would deliver.
celebration of the genius of Tim and Jeff Buckley, and an insight into the lives of both father and son. Overseen by Gary Lucas, a collaborator of Jeff’s on his 1994 album Grace and successful musician in his own right, the show delves into the extensive catalogues of both Tim and Jeff, showcasing both the diversity of the pair and the striking similarities. Lucas tells stories of Tim and Jeff, from the perspectives of both peer and fan, but leans toward discussing his own career and self-publicity, which was a disappointment considering his close relationship with Jeff. Performing the music of the Buckleys were Martha Wainwright (Canada), Camille O’Sullivan (Ireland), Casper Clausen (Denmark), Cold Specks (Canada), Steve Kilbey (Australia), Willy Mason (USA), and Gods and Monsters (USA). All brought a distinctly different sound and interpretation ‒ a testament to the broad church of Buckley music.
A State of Grace at the Canberra Theatre on 30 September was an eclectic
O’Sullivan stood out with her renditions of both Tim and Jeff songs.
Her performance of “Lilac Wine” was outstanding, and props must be given for digging deep into Jeff’s catalogue, beyond the blinding brilliance of Grace, to perform a high energy, impassioned version of “Cruel”. Despite some apparent issues of sound and mixing that plagued the entire show, O’Sullivan did it right. Buckley songs aren’t halfarsed, there is no room for shakiness or uncertainty. Uncertain would be the last word to describe O’Sullivan’s performance, from Tim’s “Sefronia” to Jeff’s “Lilac Wine”, her powerful renditions stole the show. My own bias took over when Martha Wainwright, daughter of esteemed singer/songwriter Kate McGarrigle, rose to sing Jeff’s “Lover, You Should’ve Come Over”, one of my all time favourite songs. True to form, Wainwright was full of passion and emotion, but it just wasn’t right. Her more upbeat, jazzy interpretation took away from the absolute heartbreak of the song, and the genius of the lyrics. I, however, was
clearly in the minority with this purist thinking, as her final notes were met with a thunderous applause from the audience. Can anyone ever be the Buckleys? No, but not one of the acts tried to be, and that was the success of A State of Grace. There were a few hiccups along the way, with some performances missing the mark and the show seeming to be more successful in its performances of Tim’s songs, but overall, the show was highly enjoyable and very well received. Purist views pertaining to the performance of “Hallelujah” and “Lover, You Should’ve Come Over” aside (please just don’t even try), the tribute was as diverse as they come, and was a brilliant celebration of the tragically short lives of two supremely gifted individuals.
ENTREPRENEURSHIP AND
THE
ARTS & REVIEWS In the wake of the release of the (second) Steve Jobs biopic, media consumption based on lives of influential figures (Alan Turing, Stephen Hawking, Abraham Lincoln, Mark Zuckerberg, to name a few) is at an all-time high. In particular, in the barrage of emergent online businesses, apps, and gadgets flooding our digital field-of-view, what stands out as a critical element in a tech brand’s success in the 21st century is the archetypical visionary, who puppeteers entire companies on creative whims. These people allow otherwise uniform, inhuman brands to exhibit character embedded with social values and political messages. Think the counterculture of Steve Jobs, or the humble philanthropy of the now retired Bill Gates. In our eyes, these geniuses are white males in their early-to-mid twenties who drop out of university to pursue their world-changing idea. Success is built into them. Their entire character is an amazing architecture of passion, innovation, and moneymaking talent. And as fascinating as these Zuckerbergs and Jobs are, research from UC Berkeley has revealed that most founders of successful tech start-ups have their Masters, with the average age being 38. So why is it that we stand so firmly tied to the concept of a the innately abled innovator who makes it against all
AGE
OF
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BIOPIC
VIHAN PATEL odds? Well we become captivated by the story.
In response to criticisms about historical accuracy in the Alan Turing biopic The Imitation Game, screenwriter Graham Moore said: “When you use the language of fact-checking…[you] fundamentally misunderstand how art works. You don’t fact check Monet’s Water Lilies. That’s not what water lilies looks like, that’s what the sensation of experiencing water lilies feels like.” And this is precisely the key to understanding the obsession with these genius-figures. The dorm-room isn’t where Facebook was created, but it provides the exact feel of a rag-tag group of young, bright individuals collaborating on an idea that fundamentally alters the fabric of society, and we are transfixed by this narrative. The same lines, delivered in the same way, in an office, wouldn’t nearly have had the same kind of effect.
The most ridiculous scene in The Social Network isn’t any of the antics that the characters share in the Harvard campus or in Palo Alto, but one that takes place soon after the concept of “The Facebook” is fleshed out, as the team takes shape. What follows is a short exposition by Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg), naming the key players early on in Facebook’s history, as he allocates share percentages in his Harvard dorm room. For those that had paid close attention to the film, it had been mentioned that Zuckerberg and a friend created an app that was nearly bought by Microsoft, but was uploaded for free anyway. This app was called Synapse Media Player, and one of the companies who were interested in purchasing it offered $950,000. Zuckerberg and his partner rejected the money. How odd then, for a person who had turned down nearly a million dollars, to allocate shares that he most definitely knew would be worth many times that amount, over some beer in a dorm room? At the same time, how could the scene have been made differently? The aim is to compose the feel of the events, as opposed to pinpointing and portraying facts and reality.
These films often forgo realism in order to opt for feel and emotion. Young and talented leaders give us the feeling that everything is possible, and that the snobbery of societal tradition, led by greying, suited businessmen, don’t dictate the rules of the game anymore. And while we know supposedly factbased films skirt around the concept of truth, they still serve to satisfy historical curiosity as to the nature and foundation of brands, people, particular careers,
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ideologies, and more. This is not to say these films are malicious. They signify a longing for narrative that expresses in the most intuitive way possible, particular human traits, emotions and abilities, particularly of people that we are interested in because of the sheer impact they’ve had on our lives. The reality of this impact doesn’t just slot into a scene “before” and scene “after”. It can’t be explained through montage of “creativity and hard work and late nights” shots. Narrative has structure, logic, and rules. It allows us to digest large amounts of time, a complex dynamic between characters, and worldchanging ideas, in the space of a couple of hours. This is what distinguishes a biopic from a documentary, and in the words of Twitter founder Biz Stone, changes ten years of hard work and perseverance into an image of overnight success. Wariness of our longing for narratives as a means to interpret reality, particularly in consumption of media, allows us to remain grounded as to the true nature of work, success, and fulfillment – nothing ever begins and ends neatly. There aren’t any end credits.
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THE RUBENS @ A N U ARTS & REVIEWS Charming five-piece The Rubens played ANU Bar on Friday 2nd October, touring after the release of their sophomore album, Hoops. With two special guests, Melbourne 9-piece Saskwatch and Sydney duo Winterbourne, the show, and the crowd, had the mood of a minifestival. Although Winterbourne was almost unknown by the crowd before the show, you can be sure that they left with a strong base of new Canberra fans. They had a tight sound, impressive technical musical ability and wellrehearsed tunes complemented by their strong banter and their amicable vibe. As they conversed with the crowd and each other, they seemed like two guys jamming in their living room, in the most naturally brilliant way. Speaking to them afterwards, they reflected on how great it was to be touring with a band like the Rubens, defending a
B A R
SYLVIA GUNN moment when James momentarily forget the first line of a new track by joking that it’s all good as long as the banter is funny. The nine members of Saskwatch made the stage almost as crowded as the mosh pit, with about as much dancing. Nkechi, the lead singer, was alluring in a long shimmering skirt, with dance moves that matched her strong vocals. Finishing with “Hands”, Saskwatch left the crowd pulsing with energy. Between Winterbourne and Saskwatch, people left to get drinks, but before The Rubens came on the crowd only squished closer towards the empty stage. They responded to the roofshaking cheers as they entered with “Switchblade” of the new album, but didn’t neglect their first album, encouraging the crowd – although they didn’t need to – to sing along with old
favourites like “My Gun” and “Best We Got”. Lead singer Sam Margin has an impressive stage presence, at one point even spraying a can of cider into the crowd and inadvertently soaking a few eager fans in the front row.
incredibly swoon-worthy. The idea that people seem ten times more attractive the moment they’re in a band is further enhanced by The Rubens’ fame and the fact that they sing such heartfelt, bluesy tunes about love and heartbreak.
The number of fan-girls as the band stood behind the merch desk after the show was simply overwhelming. A friend of mine who is the self-confessed biggest fan of The Rubens was overcome with joy, having spoken to Sam and told him just how much she’d loved seeing the band at Splendour in the Grass. In contrast, another friend, who is a family friend of the three Margin brothers in the band, Zaac, Sam and Elliott, was teasing them for selling socks (with The Rubens written across the ankle) as merchandise.
ANU Bar made for a slightly different feel to the last time that I saw the Rubens, at the Triple J One Night Stand in 2013, an all-ages gig in Dubbo. ANU Bar is intimate, but large enough to host serious gigs, while the separate section of the room for live music means you can get out of the crowd to buy a drink and relax. It was an excellent gig, filled with fans who were absolutely stoked to see these three excellent bands.
Since their debut single “Lay It Down” The Rubens have been seen as
THE SUMMER EXODUS LIFE & STYLE Each summer, Canberra turns into Egypt. I’m not referring to the position of the Prime Minister as Pharaoh and nor am I likening our monuments to the Pyramids. I simply mean to say that just as Moses led his people to the Promised Land, so too do many, many Canberrans ditch this Promised Land for the South Coast. Being situated in Canberra, we’re incredibly lucky that we have the Snowy Mountains two hours one way and a beautiful coastline just two hours the other. Only last fortnight, my friends and I were due to go to the snow for one last ski session before the end of the season and following a friend’s minor accident, we made a decision literally the night before our departure to divert our attention and head to the sea. Where else can you make such a call? Anyway, the pilgrimage of so many Canberrans to the coast is a much hallowed practice and I thought I might shed a little divine light on
CAMERON MCMURTRIE the tradition for the benefit of our guests. Here are my top tips for heading down to the South Coast this season. Bungendore Country Butchery About half an hour out of Canberra, there is a town called Bungendore which you will pass. Very few travellers actually end up stopping here because it is so close to Canberra. However, a five minute stop at the butchery will repay you manifold. The simple establishment, located on the parallel road to the main drag does a brilliant ham. Cheap as chips and incredibly flavoursome, it will lay the foundation for a brilliant lunch to be eaten further down the track. Braidwood Bakery A further half an hour from Bungendore, you will reach Braidwood. A classic, homely New South Welsh country town, Braidwood is full of character. Considering its situation as a logical midpoint on the journey for many of
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the commuters, it is a popular place to break for luncheon. My suggestion is the bakery. Located on the main street with people constantly flowing in and out, the bakery has created a name for itself based on its wide range of fresh, succulent and wholesome pies which will make you want to bid farewell to Four ‘n’ Twenty and Mrs Mac forever. Moreover, if you grab a couple of their fresh sourdough buns, and stuff some of the ham from earlier into them, you will prepare yourself a sandwich fit for royalty. The Muffin Shop One of the many South Coastal destinations is Broulee. A favourite for Canberrans and quite popular in the summer, Broulee is a small town with a very relaxed mood. Nestled on the crest on Mossy Point lays a small café: The Muffin Shop. Not overly flamboyant, but family friendly and simple, this eatery has some killer muffins. The raspberry and white chocolate and choc-chip muffins are personal favourites of
mine but it’s nice to relax there even for a little while with a coffee and a sandwich too. O’Brien’s Boatshed Tuross Heads is one of the more southern towns of the coastal route. The town boasts three beaches: each worth a visit and a swim. But in my opinion, more serene than watching the sunrise over the unending ocean is dining over Lake Tuross as the sun sets. Looking over the lake is a small fish and chips shop with humble character but a big heart. Doing the simple things well means a great deal in my book, and thus O’Brien’s delivers on many levels. The view paired with the delectably fresh fish in the shack-like atmosphere is enough to calm even the most frivolous of souls. So next time you bid a temporary farewell to our own Canberra in search for the sea, consider perhaps stopping on the way and enjoy the journey just as much as the destination!
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Week 11, Semester 2, 2015.
//ARTS & REVIEWS
R E V I E W
A
TASTE OF
TRANSGRESSION ADAM BURZYNSKI
LIFE & STYLE Transgression is all about breaking the rules. But isn’t that exactly what rules are for – to be broken? In my opinion, one set of rules which are broken all too often are those relating to food. Diets are broken every minute of every day as we all fall to gluttony. But is there anything necessarily wrong with that? Quite the contrary, I believe. The fact that we are guiltily succumbing to our temptations means that we really, really want the food we’re about to eat. In that sense, we enjoy it even more.
C H V R C H E S EVERY OPEN EYE MATT BOWES
ARTS & REVIEWS There’s something deeply satisfying about the simplicity of Chvrches. It’s rare to find a pop group ‒ let alone an indiepop group ‒ that takes pride in its output without stumbling into narcissism, that experiments without resorting to selfgratifyingly long songs, that, in short, just does what it does well without too much thought about it. As keyboardist Martin Doherty and guitarist Iain Cook recently noted, they were by no means an easy act to sell. It would have, Doherty mused, been easier if they’d just let their lead singer Lauren Mayberry go it solo. While there’s no doubt that Mayberry is a big reason for the band’s success, it’s this casual disdain for the trappings of the modern music industry that makes the band so easy to love. Not much has changed since their fantastic 2013 debut, and that’s a good thing. Their music is still, in a word, dynamic. Masters of making even relatively slow BPMs seem to crackle with life, Chvrches open boldly and don’t let up. The opening single “Leave A Trace” set the precedent, as driving synth and drum pads are punctuated by samples and crisp toms. It’s all held together, of course, by Mayberry’s breathless vocals. Eschewing the echoing, ethereal performances of her many synth pop peers, Mayberry trades in strong, punchy choruses that do the most to highlight her voice’s directness. Sagas of mistrust and broken promises are whittled down to the essentials in “Never Ending Circles”, the refrain of, “if you want another, say you want another”, turning from a mere plea to a statement of self affirmation. There are certainly the occasional clunkers, such as the overwrought, “Save your neck/ And I will try to find my feet and go”, but overall it’s Mayberry’s balance of bold confidence and cautious optimism that endears. There are even shades of Taylor Swift in the uplifting guitar of “Empty Threat”, as Mayberry sings of having “Nothing to regret and nothing to prove”. That said,
However, breaking rules is not only relevant to the dietary nature of food. Every good cook – especially mums and grandmas – have a bible of cheats that they use. Knowing how to bend the rules of tradition to create the same result minus the hassle is a great skill and of particular use to the university student, lost for time, energy and perhaps expertise.
it’s hard to imagine the current queen of pop writing a 1000 word article on the disgusting culture of objectification that female artists face on the Internet every day, as Mayberry did in 2013. Ultimately it’s telling that the album’s final line is the darkly escapist, “I’ve given up all I can”. In this unforgiving reality, even Chvrches uncomplicated music is an essential distraction. 4/5 SPECIAL MENTIONS
With this in mind, I thought I’d share with you one of my cheeky desserts. Perfect for the spring considering its citrus element, this recipe is incredibly simple, cheap and tasty. It mightn’t be the best for your diet but it’s well worth it!
Lana Del Rey - Honeymoon It’s Elizabeth Grant’s purest statement yet, and also the hardest to swallow. With barely a drum kit in sight for the album’s entire hour-long run time, the tales of bad men and shallow women are given enough room to thoroughly unsettle the listener. Whilst it may have been easier when we could pretend we were talking about “Video Games”, the vision Grant paints of the LA high society is as transfixing as it is repulsive. 3/5 Natasha Kmeto - Inevitable Gliding seamlessly from the headphones to the dance floor, Kmeto’s grown-up take on electronic music is grounded by her earthy voice, which brings much needed emotion to the sparse arrangements of her contemporaries. Adventurous but accessible. 3.5/5 Deafheaven - New Bermuda Recent research suggests listening to metal actually makes you happier than listening to pop. I’ll admit I know nothing about metal, but if you stop and just take in the sweeping magnum opus that is “Luna”, the New Bermuda’s stunningly crafted centrepiece, as it morphs from mere thrashing, to U2esque solos, to quiet folk instrumental, it’s hard not to feel a little awed. 4.5/5
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LIME CHEESECAKE PUDDING TIME
10 minutes plus overnight chilling
YIELD
8 to 10 servings
COST Low
INGREDIENTS 2 cans sweetened condensed milk 600mL heavy cream ½ cup lime juice – preferably fresh but the bottled juice works well too 300g Ritz crackers or the equivalent 1 tablespoon lime zest to garnish
METHOD 1.
Combine the condensed milk and cream in a large bowl.
2.
Add the lime juice and whisk until the mixture is thickened. This will take around a minute.
3.
Cover this with a layer of the crackers.
4.
Repeat steps 3-4 until the dish is full, finishing with a layer of the mixture.
5.
Garnish with a sprinkle of the lime zest.
6.
Combine the condensed milk and cream in a large bowl.
7.
Cover loosely with cling film and set in the fridge for a minimum of 3 hours but preferably overnight.
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WORONI No.14 Vol.67
AGREE TO DISAGREE
DRESS TO BE YOUR BEST
☞A KILLER ☜ COMBINATION LIFE & STYLE
H OW A DA P T I N G T O
“VOGUE ”
MAEVE BANNISTER & PAROKSH PRASAD
Arguably, footwear is the most important aspect of a person’s outfit. However, too often are we caught up in the enigma of what to wear on one’s feet. One of the myriad possible answers to this is the humble, yet incredibly versatile sandal. Popularised by the Romans and perpetuated by the holidaying dad, the sandal should be a staple of every fashionista’s shoe shelf. But as all fashion gods and goddesses say, it’s not what you wear but how you wear it. Thus, the question arises: to sock or not to sock?
AG R E E ? Dear Maeve, Some things in the world are never meant to be together. T-Swizzle and John Mayer? Rachel and Gunther? Socks and sandals, in my opinion, are up there too. Frankly, if you are wearing sandals to begin with, whether you’re a girl or a guy, you need to question your wardrobe choices. Nevertheless, even if you do choose to tumble down that path, the one rule of fashion that you must remember is this: do not draw attention to your disastrous choice. By pairing socks with sandals, you are doing exactly this. Leaving socks out will let your toes twinkle freely and the visibility of skin will deter attraction. And for the sake of any passer-by’s eyes, please stay away from patterned and/or colourful socks. Going back to the very beginning, the reason people started wearing socks was to act as a disposable layer between the shoe and the skin to prevent sweat build-up in the shoe itself. However, this was done for closed shoes where the foot could not breathe. Where the sandal is open and the toes are open to the elements, what need is there for further abomination?
CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE
I’m wrong. Regards, Paroksh.
LIFE & STYLE
D I SAG R E E ?
Being a shy person while growing up, it was not always easy, especially when it came to fashion. I was always hesitant to try new looks, bold colours. Oh, the fear of being judged!
Dear Paroksh, “Good for you! Not for me!” Amy Poehler exclaims in her Yes Please, explaining that sometimes people make choices for themselves that aren’t hurting anyone else. And, even if you don’t agree with that choice, you should at least try to accept their decision. Easier said than done, of course.
Little did I know that I was my own worst critic, but I knew that if I wanted to break out of my shell, I had to make some major changes in my wardrobe and all of a sudden, the process of a chrysalis was so relatable (don’t mind my melodrama!)
When it comes to socks and sandals, most people would probably gasp in horror. But, why does someone else’s footwear have an impact on you whatsoever? It’s not as though avid socks-and-sandals wearers are forcing you to share their enthusiasm for the trend.
DHWANEE MEHTA to me advised me accordingly. I thanked him and started walking towards the platform. That’s when I questioned why I would believe that guy. The reason I believed the man was because he was dressed sharply rather than had the man been dressed in sweats and a hoodie. I did not mean to judge but at that point I realised how important grooming really is.
LOVE LIFE
Look at dressing up as a fun task rather than a chore and concentrate on dressing well for yourself. If you impress yourself, you will brim with confidence and people will be impressed by the aura you emit. Dressing well can earn you compliments which can turn into a continuous cycle, hiking your confidence-metre.
Now, isn’t this what everyone wants? Finding someone to go with to a coffee date on a cloudy afternoon? It’s surprising how much of your love life depends solely on dressing up. Most people would agree that dressing well comes at the top their love priority list yet most of us who have a policy of dating people who dress well, sometimes forget we should too. If you want Miranda Kerr to be your girlfriend, you better be ready to dress like Orlando Bloom.
P E OP L E TAKE YOU S E RI OU S LY
RE SPE C T
CONFIDEN CE
Socks and sandals also provide the perfect footwear for those pesky “in between” seasons. You know those few weeks a year where it’s too cold to wear sandals, but not quite hot enough to go for a closed-toe shoe? Putting socks under your sandals in the morning means you have the option of taking the socks off in the afternoon, if the weather warms up. Not to mention the comfort factor. Also, if you know anything about fashion, you’ll know that socks + Birkenstock’s were the footwear of choice for many a runway model during New York Fashion Week.
No matter how much I would love to believe that, “It’s what’s on the inside that counts”, the truth is that in a fast moving generation where fashion is only moving forward, people will always judge you based on what you show. People are far more likely to pay attention to what your opinion is if you dress well. There is hardly any chance that wearing unpolished shoes or unironed clothes in a meeting can get you a contract or a bonus.
My dearest Paroksh, I think we’ll just have to agree to disagree. Regards, Maeve.
B U I L D TRU S T When I was new to Canberra and didn’t know which station to catch a bus from, the man standing next
Maeve, don’t even try and tell me
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When you dress well, it not only shows that you respect yourself enough to look your best but you respect people you are bound to meet. Let’s face it, you will come off as more respectable when you are wearing formals to a meeting compared to pyjamas. So, dress in the way that you want to be perceived and hopefully it will take you places.
W
Week 11, Semester 2, 2015.
//ARTS & REVIEWS
THE
HUMBLE SIDEKICK GENE SCHIRRIPA
LIFE & STYLE Welcome to 2015, the age of the stylish, modern gent. When it comes to fashion, it’s the little things that make the biggest difference. Being classy is in fashion and men should have no shame in wearing accessories to finish off their sophisticated, polished look. There are a couple of key items that you need in your wardrobe that will transform your outfit, keeping you looking fresh and stylish. Here are the key items that you should have an abundance of in your wardrobe.
POCKET SQUARES A pocket square is one of the most simple, yet most effective items that you can own. A pocket square can transform your suit and can ensure that it remains versatile and stylish for any occasion, whether you are at a
a small feature that will draw attention to and finish off your look. Especially in the summer time as the blazer comes off and you are wearing a shirt, cufflinks are an important addition and can be loads of fun. Cufflink designs can reflect your interests, personality and character.
ball, the spring carnival races or a dinner party. The pocket square is one way that you can get the most out of your suit and shirts. Whilst your staple items such as the suit and shirt are expensive, you don’t need to have heaps of them to keep looking sharp and fresh. A pocket square, in conjunction with a tie, means you can pull off countless different looks.
SUNGLASSES You don’t need to spend hundreds of dollars on expensive designer label glasses. Cheaper and very stylish alternatives are available in abundance nowadays and again can finish off your look. Whether in casual gear or a suit at work, a good collection of sunglasses is important as they complement the situation and the attire. Of course, notwithstanding the benefits for your eyes!
When it comes to pocket squares, you can be as bold or as mellow as is comfortable or appropriate. While matching your tie and pocket square is great, you can also go for contrasting colours and designs to give you a bold and vibrant look.
CUFFLINKS Cufflinks are the sign of a truly classy gent. When in the close presence of others, cufflinks are
BELTS The tucked in shirt look will be a hit this summer as it has been in recent years, giving off a clean cut look. Whether you are wearing nice shorts, chinos or dress pants, the tucked in shirt is a classy and smart. If you are going to pull off this look, a good belt is essential. With a range of colours and styles, you can get away with anything when it comes to belts. A simple brown or black belt can complement your attire nicely, or you can draw more attention to the belt with vibrant designs. Accessorising can add many new layers to an ordinary outfit. So have fun with and express yourself!
RUSSIA BOMBS S YRIA AND SOME OTHER THINGS MAYBE SATIRE & HUMOUR Russian military involvement in Syria has increased in recent days, with the Russian government announcing that a series of airstrikes have been carried out against Islamic State targets. The Kremlin reports that these raids have been a great success, although there have been suggestions from the White House and elsewhere, that Russian aircraft have not exclusively bombed IS targets. In fact, there have been allegations circulated in some quarters that Russia is in fact using the excuse of combating the Islamic State to disguise the indiscriminate bombing of various things that it happens to find irritating. President Poroshenko of the Ukraine, the gay rights movement, and several
ZENO photographers who have had the misfortune to take of capturing unflattering pictures of president Putin have all complained of being struck by suspiciously Cyrilliclettered bombs in the last week recent days.[1] Most concerning, however, in this context are reports that several Russian bombing missions have struck locations on the ANU campus.
until I couldn’t remember my own name.” The student then stumbled away, and was unfortunately not able to be identified. When questioned about the legitimacy of these airstrikes, the Russian Minister for Public Relations and Geopolitical Strategy, Milenovskovica Selivanov, replied “Russia is committed to restoring order in what is rapidly becoming a chaotic Syria. Thus, it was necessary for us to set up a forward operating base in Manuka. Although our commitment to establishing a stable and secure Syria has been unfairly called into question by those who call themselves our allies, we are determined to defeat
“The planes came out of nowhere!” exclaimed one battered and bruised science student. “The bombs that they dropped were obviously Russian. They didn’t explode, but they did engage me in a long conversation about existential literature, make me eat way too many pickles and drink vodka
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the menace of ISIS by any means necessary, and we will demonstrate this with actions”. However, in a somewhat worrying turn of events, the minister subsequently refused to clarify whether ISIS in this case stood for Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, or the ANU’s very own Interactive Student Information System. As ever, Woroni stands poised to investigate and assess this rapidly developing situation, and shirtfront it if necessary. [1] On the plus side they have stopped finding lumps of glowing metallic substances in their sugar.
ORONI
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COMPLAINTS? CALL DIRECTLY AND REGISTER YOUR COMPLAINT HERE: (02) 6125 2444
{ WO L LY } W
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ANU IN CRISIS:
LEADERSHIP
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the relationship in order to be happy? Don’t get me wrong Wolly, I don’t think my GF is a bad person. She just doesn’t quite understand what it’s like to be as beautiful as me.
S P I L L
Thanks bae, Richard (Dick)
HUMOUR & SATIRE
IVANA SMOJVER & JOEL SHNAIDER Lost it inside you? Broken up with over snapchat? In this spontaneous segment, Woroni makes fun of your worst romantic disasters from that time you discovered the identities of the amateur porn stars on your floor to the time room inspections had you on the edge. And kept you there for the next painfully long 10 minutes. Email satire@woroni.com.au with your stickiest adventures and we might actually publish it, depending on how badly it will make you cringe when you see it in the paper. Yours truly, Wolly
Last week the ANU was plunged into chaos as the leadership of the university decided to give the latest national pastime a whirl, the leadership challenge.
#WOLLYQUERY4 By Zeno Dear Wolly,
#WOLLYQUERY3 By Ivana Smojver Dear Wolly, My GF and I recently got back together after a less than amorous break-up. I am really happy that after such a severely traumatizing period we are no longer having public spats in middle of Union Court and my GF’s urge to eat my best mate’s face off seems to have subsided. My Xbox, iPhone and the windshield on my car are also in top notch condition after being replaced (i.e. the damage was irreparable), which is good too, I suppose. However, as I never want to experience that wrath of a woman (apparently) scorned ever again, I decided to have a chat with my GF while she was subdued by the finale of the Bachelor (Snez won and that made her so mellow for reasons I cannot explain). I should probably mention this had been impossible before as her girl hormones had transformed into the Hulk, and basically, I was one smashed windshield away from wetting myself in terror. To cut to the chase, my GF tells me that she’s intimidated because I am more beautiful than her and she’s always felt like I’ll move onto the next “one” if the opportunity presents itself. Well, these are perfectly legitimate concerns because like my GF says, I am more attractive than her. No, she’s not ugly. She’s at least a 7.5, not smiling. And I’m actually not one of those guys that only dates a 10 because, believe it or not, my GF feels lucky that I chose her despite the fact I could do better. So I tell my GF all the things she wants to hear “beauty is subjective” and “there’s no one else on this planet like you”. These statements are true but never do I explicitly limit myself by telling that we are set in stone or something ridiculous like that. The problem is, “the problem” is not exactly resolved. I have this sort of inextricable need to stare at myself in shiny surfaces. It’s not exactly something I can just stop cold turkey as the urge derives from my shining inner beauty (obvi). By the way, I’m a model, which only adds to my need to rub my crotch in public places, ask my female friends to massage my pecs mid-lecture (they’re sore from the gym) and pull out my iPhone every couple of minutes to check that my chiselled mug is exactly the way I set it this morning. Gorguzz. Anyways, the point is that this annoys my GF for some reason. I don’t know why… How do I make her understand that I am the definition of raw of beauty and I need to express myself in
A.G. CAVENAGH
On 3rd October 2015, after having serving as Vice Chancellor for four years and building support amongst the vice-chancellors and pro Vice-Chancellors, Ian Young launched a midnight blitzkrieg against the current Chancellor, demanding that he declare his position vacant and hold a leadership ballot.
I’m not the sort of person who’d normally write to an agony aunt, but I’m desperate. You’ve got to help me. Wolly, I’ve got a Dating Dilemma. A few weeks ago I met the light of my life. He’s breathtakingly tall, and oh so strong. When I wrap my arms around his barrel chest I feel so safe, knowing he’s there to protect me, and feeling how rugged and powerful he is. He’s so handsome I can scarcely bear to look at him with my glasses on, for fear of going weak at the knees and embarrassing myself. He’s mysterious and romantic too; he always wants to meet on the street corner, just as the sun is setting. Although he’s the dark and brooding kind, sometimes it’s almost as though I can see light radiating out from behind his gorgeous head. My angel.
The move comes after weeks of speculation, with internal polling done by the Vice-Chancellor’s office finding that the current chancellors polling numbers had reached “dire” levels due to the ANU’s continual support of the now ditched university deregulation policy. Despite the fact that Ian Young himself had been one of the most vocal supporters of such a policy and has indicated he will stick with it to appease the factions, he believes he will be better at selling such a policy to the general student body.
There’s just one problem. Although we’ve been dating for a few weeks now, I feel like we’re not really making any progress. We always meet in the same place, and whenever we do he always feels very closed-off, emotionally speaking. I know he’s a man of few words, but sometimes it’s like he barely says anything at all. Sometimes the silence just gets kind of… awkward. He’s not very physically expressive either. I’m hugged him a few times, and once we even made out, but I just feel like he’s not really involved in it. He never initiates anything, and when I do, he just stands there with his head in the clouds, cold and distant. Help me Wolly. Please don’t tell me he’s just not that into me. He’s got to be; he’s the one! Just give me some way to flick his switch and turn him on . Yours in perpetuity, Dazzled by Love. Dear Dazzled by Love, After consulting my extensive knowledge of the ways of the human heart and your optometrist, I have determined that you are in fact in love with your neighbourhood streetlamp. Your neighbours reported to me that you spend every evening mooning about with this lamp (no pun intended), swooning into its unfeeling steel embrace. My advice is to get out while you still can, Dazzled by Love. Streetlamps are notoriously ungenerous lovers; my research also shows that they tend to be fiscally irresponsible, irrationally enthusiastic about talking up the merits of paleo dieting despite the lack of evidence for its effectiveness, and often involved in various forms of gang violence. Try a fire hydrant instead.
The spill was faced with a number of challenges from the outset. Firstly, voters in focus groups were found to be of the opinion that the role of Vice-Chancellor and Chancellor were significantly different jobs and that a transition would not be as smooth as other high turnover jobs, such as the Prime ministership. Secondly, the role of Chancellor, unlike the
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Prime Ministership, is not one that can be contested. This lack of challenge disappointed the political class around Canberra and ensured that the procession line of deputy and pro vice chancellors talking to Woroni in support of Young were left stranded without a challenge to support. Young was also forced to immediately throw his support back behind the Chancellor, declaring that he has more chance of becoming full forward in the ANU AFL team than becoming Chancellor . The executive of the university was disappointed to discover that, like the potential National party spill, most ANU students were not interested in spills unless rolling coverage was provided on ABC news24. Ian Young has since decided that he will run for the soon to be vacated electorate of North Sydney, in order to get a proper experience in leadership challenges. He is expected to be Prime Minister by October 2019, to be deposed in February 2020. It is expected that university deregulation will still have not passed by this time.