YOU SHOULD BE SCARED VOL. 67
Issue #15
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PAGE 11.
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In Conversation with Richard Di Natale - Maddalena Easterbrook Queer* Department Finds a New Home - Miguel Galsim
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Style Over Substance - Matthew Lord
Woroni Champion of the Week: Cho-Gath Because Size Does Matter
Tea Time
- James Crowley - Gus McManus
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A Series of Jokes, Currently on Stand-By
WORONI SEMESTER 2 - WEEK 13, 2015 - WORONI.COM.AU - FACEBOOK, TWITTER & THE APP STORES
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WORONI No.15 Vol.67
CONTENTS No. 15 3.
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Embasy of Spain CoHosts Art Exhibition at the ANU - Miguel Galsim In Conversation with Richard Di Natale - Maddalena Easterbrook
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ANU Libraries Book Purchase Development - Anna Kaufmann Celebrating the Global Goals - Kathy Wu Promising Autism Research from the Research School of Psychology - Anna Kaufmann
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Myanmar Tour Creats a Lasting Impression on Art History Students - Sheridan Burnett
ANUSA SRC 8 - Ria Pflaum Anti-Poverty Week: Community Sleep-Out - Miguel Galsim
Queer* Department Finds a New Home - Miguel Galsim “Everyone Can Make a Change” - AntiPoverty Panel at the ANU - Miguel Galsim
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Style Over Substance - Matthew Lord The Real Inspector Hound (& Going Nuts) - Jillian Masters Astrophysics Underground - Emily Haag
Bell Shakespeare’s Hamlet - Jessica Masters
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Six Summer Steps for a Super Start to 2k16 - Simon Rohan Jones 15.
Tea Time - Gus McManus
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Agree to Disagree: Halloween or “Hell No”-ween - Maeve Bannister & Paroksh Prasad
Woroni Champion of the Week: Cho-Gath Because Size Does Matter - James Crowley The Doctor’s Love, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying And Love the Musos - Mark Wilson
Neon Indian - Vega Intl. Night School - Matt Bowes
House of Cards: ANU - Andrew Cavanagh On the Perils of Over-Confidence in its Liquid Form (Thursday 15th October, 2015) - Zeno A Series of Jokes, Currently on Stand-By 20.
Wolly (Woroni Dolly) - Ivana Smojver Art Review
- Jessica Im
Dress to be Your Best: Halloween Costumes - Dhwanee Mehta 17.
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How to Win at the Races - Gene Schirripa How I Learnt to Hate, and Then Love, My Body - Harriet Rochester
A C K N O W L E D G M E N T S ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF COUNTRY
BOARD OF EDITORS
S TA F F
SUB-EDITORIAL TEAM
Woroni is published on the land of the Ngunnawal people.
Editor-in-Chief - Jacob Ingram Deputy Editor-in-Chief Giordi Borzuola
Administrative Assistant Simone Proctor
Science - Maxwell Jones Comment - Vishesh Agarwal Features - Vincent Chiang Satire & World - Ivana Smojver Arts & Reviews - Louise Keast Arts & Reviews - Jessica Masters Life & Style - Paroksh Prasad Sports - Zach Mackey International - Virginia Harding Radio - Kate Lawrence Radio - Caitlin Magee Radio - Finn Pedersen Radio - Sam Skinner Design - Joanne Leong IT - Manab Chetia Photography - Nic Bills Videography - Julia Faragher News Correspondent - Anna Kaufmann News Correspondent - Miguel Galsim News Correspondent - Ria Pflaum
‘Woroni’ translates to ‘mouthpiece’ in the Ngunnawal language. Advertising inquiries and submissions can made at: advertising@woroni.com. au Phone: (02) 6125 9574 Shop 15, Lena Karmel Building 26 Barry Drive, Acton 2601
Managing Editor - Mitchell Scott
Proofreader - Siobhonn Shannon Book keeper - Brendan Ofner
Creative Director - Rashna Farrukh News Editor - Waheed Jayhoon Contributions Editor Benedicte O’Leary Rutherford Multimedia Editor Maddalena Easterbrook Radio Editor - Isaac Dugdale
Woroni is printed by Capital Fine Print.
Week 13, Semester 2, 2015.
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//NEWS
EMBASSY OF SPAIN CO-HOSTS ART EXHIBITION AT THE ANU NEWS
MIGUEL GALSIM
From the 13th to the 16th of October, ANU’s School of Art and the Embassy of Spain co-hosted a joint exhibition of works by Spanish artist Julio Falagán, as well as by students commended by Spain’s Torres Scholarship. The exhibition was held in the School of Art’s Photospace Gallery. The Torres Scholarship, established in 2002, aims to provide young Australian artists with the opportunity to visit Spain on a tour organised by the Embassy to give students a “first-hand experience of Spanish culture.” The reception on the 13th was opened by Denise Ferris, Head of School, and Cesar Espada Sanchez, Deputy Head of Mission and manager of the Embassy’s cultural portfolio. Sanchez praised the exhibited works, particularly those of 2013 winner Francesca Larkin, whose paintings he described as “colourful, provocative art.” He also spoke of the challenges for Falagán, to “think of something that is not very expensive... and can take place in any country.” Falagán ultimately achieved this, creating a body of work composed of five small mixed-media pieces that combine political and subversive subject matter onto idyllic images of the landscape. Falagán also provided enlarged posters of each of the works, and he encouraged attendees to take these posters for personal use. What resulted was Falagán’s body of work that was “all about creativity” and allowed regular people to be “collectors of contemporary art for free... [connecting] art to the people.” Falagán told Woroni that his work was a “criticism of the art market. For me, art should be more democratic. You can take a poster for free, because the art is not only for rich people who can pay a lot of money for original paintings.” “This is the only art that people without any money can hang on their walls. When you go to someone’s house and you see their walls, you can see their pocket. This is not good,” he remarked. When asked about his inspirations, Falagán told Woroni that “my inspiration is life. I like the work of other artists, but I’m very critical of their art. I prefer to talk about life and the happenings around me. You can only talk about the things in your life, close to you. For me, this is art.” He also agreed that the world was very unequal. “The first theme in my project is power; I like to put myself in the place of downtrodden people, or people who lack education. I’m in a good place – I’m an artist, and I have a place to speak. So I have to help poor people who can’t do this, especially since I was from a village.” Falagán also had reservations about Australia’s history and current treatment of indigenous peoples, which he called “scary.” “Currently, things are not going in a good direction. If you’re in Melbourne, it’s great; it’s a very good city... On the other side, if you see another reality of people from another country coming here and replacing the original people, this is very crazy. The problem is alive.” “The big cities are very good, friendly, and cultural... But in Alice Springs you can see reality and it’s very bad.” Overall, Falagán was enjoying his stay in Australia, and expressed desire to live in Melbourne because of its warm and artistic nature.
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WORONI No.15 Vol.67
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//NEWS
IN CONVERSATION WITH
RICHARD DI NATALE NEWS You have said that you will resign from politics if Malcolm Turnbull altered direction on climate policy. Do you think he will be the effective leader Australia needs to combat climate change? I said that I would start growing veggies if Malcolm Turnbull decided to change tact on climate. The truth is I already grow a few veggies but there is no chance I will be growing more because I suspect Malcolm Turnbull is a long way from adopting the climate policies that we need as a nation to start tackling climate change. What do you hope will be achieved at the UN Climate Change Conference in Paris? I think it’s an opportunity to get a consensus around the world about the level of ambition that we need to bring global temperatures down to below
MADDALENA EASTERBROOK
two degrees increase. The big challenge for Paris is for us to ensure that each of those nations adopts targets that are consistent with a two-degree temperature rise and to ensure that they stick to those targets. Australia is at the back of the pack when it comes to doing both of those things.
enormous jobs in building wind turbines, in servicing those turbines. I’ve been to a number of wind farms and what you see is whole industries that are developed on the back of those technologies. It’s mining and coal mining that’s very jobs poor and it’s the renewable energy sector that’s jobs rich and also a huge economic growth generator for the country. I think it’s a myth to think that acting on climate change isn’t good for our economy… it is.
But have we passed the point of no return on climate change? I refuse to believe it. I am not going to give up on it. I think ultimately, even if it is a 50% chance we can turn this thing around, then we owe it to everybody to do it.
Do you think our current tertiary education system is unsustainable, and if it is, what do you want to change about it?
How can Australia have a rapid uptake of renewable energy and still maintain the level of employment, or even increase the amount of stable blue-collar jobs?
The only reason our tertiary education system is unsustainable is because governments refuse to pay for it. I mean sustainability is a choice. If we choose to invest in those things, then of course we will have a world-class tertiary
Renewable energy is an incredibly jobs rich industry. There are
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education system. If we don’t invest in it, then we’ll end up being forced to make students pay more. That’s the choice we have. My view is that a smart country invests in its people. It does that by having a world-class tertiary education system. We can afford it but to do that we have to make some tough decisions about how we raise revenue; and we have a fully costed policy platform to be able to do that. Considering we’re standing on the dance floor of the elevated nightclub in UniPub, I think I need to ask you what your favourite drink is when you are on a night out. I am just trying to think of my favourite beer… maybe a Coopers Red. Cool. Good on ya.
s w o o C N l l ! u o B N Coconut Milk Ice Cream
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WORONI No.15 Vol.67
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//NEWS
Q U E E R * D E PA RT M E N T
FINDS A NEW HOME CAMPUS NEWS The Queer* Department of ANUSA has moved to a large two-story house on Liversidge Street, completing their relocation from their old and significantly smaller office under the Moran Building by October 7. The building, across from University House and approximately a fifteen minute walk from Union Court, contains multiple study rooms, bathrooms, a living room, office space, a functional kitchen and a yard. Prior to the Department’s tenancy, the house served as postgraduate family accommodation and an administrative building. It was renovated at an approximate cost of $50,000. Kat Reed, current Queer* Officer, believed that with the new space they would be able to “make sure people feel comfortable” given that the increased room would allow people to find time for themselves and study. Reed also highlighted issues with the lack of space in the previous office, which was especially problematic
MIGUEL GALSIM for Department members with social anxiety, and was “not conducive for an inclusive atmosphere.”
“legitimate concerns” and “should be addressed.” Reed cited concerns surrounding the distance between the house and Union Court, which would be potentially unsafe, particularly due to the lighting conditions around the house and the uncertain security situation in the area.
“We’re really looking to grow the department in terms of the people involved and foster that community. I think this space provides us with a lot more opportunities to grow,” Reed said.
Despite considering possible resolutions, Reed said that “unfortunately the University had, at this point, spent a lot of money [on the house] and we were at a position where our current space was going to be given back to Facilities & Services anyway – we would be without a space.”
On the future of the house, Reed stated, “What I think will happen is that people will spend more time here because it is a bit of a distance [from the centre of ANU], like coming here specifically to study or socialise. I think that will mean that people will be a lot more committed... people will be willing to pitch in more and have that community atmosphere and to care more about the general workings of the Department.”
“We decided to move and try and make the most of it. We passed a motion to petition the Facilities & Services for better lighting and support in terms of UniSafe buses and security, and to see if in the future we could have our ideal space in Union Court to address those safety concerns.”
When asked about attempts from within the Department to block the relocation due to accessibility concerns, Reed stated that they were
Reed nevertheless stated that this could change depending on how the Department acquainted themselves with the space, and also highlighted that Department events were being held earlier in the day with walk-overs from Union Court to address these safety concerns. Ultimately, Reed was pleased with the new location. “I think people are feeling a lot freer and more relaxed,” despite the accessibility issues. “I think it really marks a new era for us, because we’ve had the old space for ten years. I think this marks the beginning of a bigger, more community vibe for the Department, instead of feeling really disenfranchised and having to move around campus to find our own spaces.” “I think it also marks a huge step forward for the University in recognising that Queer people need a safe space to go.”
“ E V ERYON E C AN MAKE A C H ANG E ”
– A N T I - P OV E R T Y PA N E L A T T H E A N U CAMPUS NEWS The St Vincent de Paul’s Society at the ANU organised a panel discussion on poverty alleviation and awareness on the night of October 14, hosting Labor Senator Jan McLucas, Vinnies’ National Policy Advisor Rik Sutherland, Ebony Hoiberg from Raising Hope, and ANU Student Joseph Frawley. Raising Hope is a Canberran non-profit organisation that uses volunteer university students to build confidence and self-empowerment in local children. The speakers engaged a range of issues from the awareness of homeless experiences, policy and NGO models for poverty alleviation services, and the issue of poverty and homelessness within the student body. On the nature of poverty itself Frawley – who is currently engaged in sleeping in his car for the duration of his honours thesis to build awareness and funds for Vinnies’ Clemente program – labelled poverty as a “polycentric problem” and highlighted how
MIGUEL GALSIM his own efforts allowed him to build empathy with homeless people.
delivered in the right way because they’re profit driven.”
that should see students “not only as investments but as human beings.”
Senator McLucas agreed and told Woroni that “the root causes [of poverty] are really multidimensional,” but specifically pointed out locational, family, and health issues that significantly impact the ability of persons to earn a living.
Senator McLucas also believed “we need to have a diversity of players in the service sector,” but pointed to “the great work in the charitable and nonprofit sectors. It is terribly important that big players like Vinnies and Anglicare remain viable and strong, but there are also a large number of non-profit services that are also very valuable.”
The panellists also addressed poverty within the university environment, with McLucas noting that an “elite environment” deters people from seeking help, particularly for international students away from family support. Frawley agreed that it detracted from student life, and Hoiberg cited her experiences in Raising Hope, and the usage of ANUSA’s free food program as testament to poverty problems within the student body.
Sutherland also noted that “poverty is deeply structural,” and underlined the strategies of Vinnies to combat homelessness and poverty. He highlighted the advantages of the “volunteer-led” model of the organisation, and when compared with for-profit organisations stressed that “[Vinnies is] ultimately mission driven rather than profit driven,” despite the benefits of the private sector in terms of capital and innovation.
“The sustainability of our non-profit sector should be very high, if not at the top, of our goals,” she said. Regarding necessary reforms, Hoiberg stressed the need to change education policy, even by sharing experiences and ideas on a grassroots, personal level, noting that “everyone can make a change.”
However, he believed efforts should not be led by the private sector, saying that “it just doesn’t work. There have been too many scandals and too many cases where services haven’t been
She also stated that “schools are focused on getting kids into university, but losing many kids on the way” due to an inflexible education system
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Ultimately, the speakers enjoyed the panel and discussion, with McLucas praising the youth’s outlook in problem-solving in particular. Sutherland believed that poverty would ultimately need to be “addressed in a multifaceted way” given its “intersectional” nature, while McLucas advocated “a whole-ofgovernment approach” to combating poverty, despite its difficulty.
Week 13, Semester 2, 2015.
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A N U L I B R A R I E S B O O K PURCHASE DEVELOPMENT CAMPUS NEWS In a development in ANU’s freeze on book acquisitions in libraries, it has come to light that there is hope for a new budget model to be implemented to enable ANU libraries to develop their connections next year. In the last edition, Woroni revealed that ANU libraries had not purchased any books other than those set as required texts for courses in the last year. Woroni has recently learnt however that not only have over one hundred academics signed a petition calling for the end to the freeze on book purchases, but also that the issue
ANNA KAUFMANN that a different budget model should be put in place to minimise the effect of the exchange rate, namely, changing the library purchasing budget into US Dollars, 66% of the library collection expenditure being in US dollars.
had reached discussions in the most recent meeting of the Academic Board. The freeze on book purchases is attributed largely to the falling exchange rate, the budget of ANU’s libraries being in Australian Dollars. Roxanne Missingham, University Librarian and Chief of Scholarly Information Services, said that at the recent meeting of the Academic Board she presented a report on library purchasing and the effect that the fall in the exchange had had on their ability to purchase more books. Missingham confirmed that a suggestion was made
However, Vice-Chancellor Ian Young was cautious of the idea, noting that such a change in the library’s budget would undoubtedly require spending cuts elsewhere.
that there is enthusiasm from the higher levels and senior management support to implement a new budget model that will allow libraries to purchase books again. ‘There is active discussion with ANU senior management about alternative models that would moderate the variation of the exchange rate and support continuing collection development’ Missingham said.
However Missingham was positive about the outlook for library purchasing for the next year, saying
C E L E B R AT I NG T H E G L O BA L G OA L S CAMPUS NEWS On Tuesday 20th October, Campaign for Australian Aid hosted a panel discussion about the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) and Australian foreign aid. The panel, moderated by ANU Assc. Prof Janet Hunt, included an incredible panel of speakers included Gillian Triggs, the President of the Australian Human Rights Commission, Ewen McDonald, Deputy Secretary of the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade (DFAT), Andrew Leigh, the Member for Fraser and former economics professor at ANU, Marc Purcell, the executive director for Australian Council for International Development (ACFID), and Paul Flavel, Australian Program Coordinator for TEAR Australia. The
KATHY WU event gave a positive outlook of world plans on tackling inequality and poverty. Hunt began with an introduction of the SDG and the current status of Australian aid. The SDG will follow on from the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs), which was initiated in 2000 and concluded this year. The newly created goals aim to end extreme poverty by 2030, as well as reducing inequality and tackling climate change.
Several of the panellists talked about the isolation of Australia due to its recent reduction in aid, commenting that in terms of foreign aid, Australians think that, on average, 16% of the government budget is spent on foreign aid, but in reality, only a minute 0.22% is being invested. Leigh further went on to express his concern of the extremely low aid figure, strongly urging for an increase Australian aid, and commented: “Charity begins at home, but it doesn’t have to end there”.
These goals, as agreed by all the panellists, are achievable through the right approach and “inspires our imagination”, stated Flavel.
Triggs and McDonald explained the differences between the two set of goals. The difference between the SDGs and MDGs is that the former
is more legitimate and emphasises the use international law, and the former has failed to enforce the rule of law. In order to achieve them, trillions of dollars will be needed, as well as efforts from both the private and public sectors. The Australian SDGs focus is on gender equality and governance, as well as helping neighbouring developing countries to better measure data and report on goal progress. Campaign for Australian Aid will be hosting several other celebrations and events throughout Australia in the coming months.
P R O M I S I N G AU T I S M R E S E A R C H F R O M THE RESEARCH SCHOOL OF PS YCHOLOGY CAMPUS NEWS New ANU research into autism has the potential to completely change public perceptions towards the condition. While the disorder is understood as having different features which occur together but without a root cause, a new study has found a link between some of those features, and that some actually cause others. Dr Daniel Skorich, of the Research School of Psychology, said that the implications for the research are profound, in the long-term including changes in ‘the way the disorder is diagnosed, new interventions techniques based around increasing
ANNA KAUFMANN manner than a typically developing person would.
“central coherence” rather than intervening directly with the social features, and new avenues in the search for the genetic and neurological basis of the disorder’.
‘Our research has uncovered (very preliminary) evidence that the weak central coherence in autism causes the theory of mind problems’ Dr Skorich said.
It is already known that autism presents a cluster of features related to dysfunction in the cognitive system responsible for our ability to infer the thoughts and feelings of others, and which explains many of the social and communication problems. There is also a cluster of features related to what’s referred to as “weak central coherence” - a tendency to process information in a less integrated
This is some of the first research to be conducted in this area, and the first to find such results. Autism had generally been accepted as a ‘fractioned disorder’, in that it expressed itself in a number of features that were not known to have any links or a common cause. Dr Skorich said
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that the current research ‘is the only research that has explicitly linked weak central coherence and theory of mind dysfunction in a causative manner, and the only research out there at the moment that proposes a cognitive mechanism that binds the two’. While Dr Skorich was very careful to label the research as only a preliminary finding, he also said that he and his students had convergent evidence from 3 other experiments, showing strong hope.
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WORONI No.15 Vol.67
ANUSA CAMPUS NEWS On Tuesday the 20th of October, ANUSA held it’s 8th and final Student Representative Council (SRC) meeting for the year. With the executive starting off the meeting by thanking the representatives for their immense contributions this year, ANUSA President Ben Gill stated that the increase of student support services had been one of the highlights of the year. After discussion surrounding the new initiative, the ANU Safety Group, and possible future expansion and integration with the ANUSA Safety on Campus Committee, attention was turned to the discussion items. This included a controversial request from the Grants and Affiliations Committee (GAC) for an extra $30,000, to make sure students involved in Clubs and Societies (C&S) were not out of pocket – potentially until December 1st. As the second budget change of the
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SRC
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RIA PFLAUM year, with an extra $50,000 allocated earlier this year, Helena Hu, a member of the committee, moved a motion within the SRC for extra funds to be shifted to GAC from other budget line items.
about the members of the SRC being put on the spot, and thus in a tough position were raised. The decision was ultimately made to pass an amended version of the original motion, stating that pending legal advice, the money would be granted from other budget line items at the discretion of the treasurer, Sophia Woo. If legal advice did not observe the actions of the SRC as in line with the constitution, an SGM would be called to pass the motion.
With the ANUSA constitution stating that an SRC can only pass motions to grant no more than 1% of the Annual Budget of expected expenses in any calendar month., the most prominent question appeared to be whether this addition of more than 1% would count as a change to the budget.
Vice-President, James Waugh, also raised a proposed sponsorship deal with the ride-sharing service Uber, with a special code for ANU students, distributed through ANUSA, providing $20 off, with ANUSA getting a $5 finders fee.
If this indeed changed the budget, it would only be able to be changed at an Ordinary General Meeting (OGM) or Special General Meeting (SGM), however if it was considered movement within the budget, the motion could be passed at the SRC.
constructive, future partnership with Uber, such as in assisting with safety on campus were presented as a positive to the sponsorship deal. A motion was also moved in ‘Other Business’ to refer Jack Gaudie, ANUSA Social Officer, to the Disputes Panel, for allegedly not performing in his role. With 3 abstentions, the motion was passed with 15 votes in favour and 0 against. The meeting was ended with a touching tribute to Jacky Sutton, a Centre for Arab and Islamic Studies scholar who passed away in Istanbul over the weekend of the 17th-18th of October.
Whilst concerns raised by members of the SRC about the accessibility of Uber and the need to protect students who would also be drivers, were acknowledged as valid and
With the main discussion surrounding the decision reaching over an hour in length, concerns
A N T I - P OV E R T Y W E E K :
C O M M U N I T Y S L E E P- O U T CAMPUS NEWS With the ACT possessing the second highest rate of homelessness in Australia, Anti-Poverty Week, organized by the ANU St. Vincent De Paul’s Committee (ANU Vinnies), aimed to raise awareness and money for this, with a variety of activities throughout the week culminating in a Community Sleep-Out on the night of Friday 16th October. ANU Vinnies Executive Officer, Jennifer McRae, stated that the Sleep-Out was a “more practical way of seeing how homelessness could affect you.” The Vinnies Sleep-Out initiative was started in Sydney, at the University of New South Wales (UNSW), with last year being the first year ANU had held the event. More than just raising awareness, ANU Vinnies Vice-President Gabriele Naktinyte
MIGUEL GALSIM expressed that their goal was “to establish a better foundation of these issues on campus” “We want to promote wider participation in tackling these issues of homelessness and poverty – not only through raising awareness but increasing engagement in addressing these issues, especially on campus.” Vinnies National Policy Advisor, Rik Sutherland, was a speaker on the night, and discussed the issues in defining poverty that proved a barrier in approaching homelessness within Australia.
income”, he commented.
importance of having a home.”
“This means 13% of Australians live in poverty, including 600,000 children and families, with 105,000 homeless every night.”
“It’s not the floorboards of 4 walls, but the feeling of having a home is so central to what it means to be a full human being.”
Describing one of the obstacles in facing issues of homelessness as “not stigmatizing the people we’re trying to assist, who sometimes see themselves as failures if they ask for help.”
The event also featured performances from The Gypsy Scholars, as well as members of the cast of Interhall Production’s Miss Saigon.
ANU student Joseph Frawley, who is hoping to raise $13,000 in 13 weeks for charity by sleeping rough in his car, was also a guest on the night, stating that ANU students were ‘empathetic people’, and that this issue was something that was “easy to get motivated about.”
“Our government has not defined a poverty line, unlike many around the world. However, the general standard in interpreting poverty is living on below 40% of the median
“Everyone
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understands
the
Performer Teya Duncan expressed that she had wanted to perform at the event as sometimes “we get so caught up in university and our social lives that we can lose sight of issues external to that.” “This is helping to bring people back to reality. It’s telling a story, getting it out there and making a change.”
Week 13, Semester 2, 2015.
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//COMMENT
S T Y L E OV E R S U B S TA N C E COMMENT A month has passed since Australia witnessed its third leadership spill since 2010. The media’s excitement has peaked, political commentators are taking a breath: the dust is settling. Now comes the stage where we get a clearer picture of what the differences between a Turnbull and Abbott government are. However, those who are excited for major changes might be disappointed. The substance of many government policies may very well stay the same. This is clearer more than anywhere in Australian climate change policy, where the ghosts of Abbott’s wornout yet undeniably successful “axe the tax” slogan continue to haunt Turnbull amongst many others. Internal factions and party politics within the coalition have made it clear that part of the job description included being a better team player than Captain Tony. However, part of this commitment is maintaining Abbott’s controversial “Direct Action Plan”, despite Turnbull being a
MATTHEW LORD known supporter of market-based mechanisms for reducing carbon emissions. And so Turnbull has been caught in a tricky position – one in which he faces either pursuing a policy which he doesn’t believe will work, or compromising the essential support of large sects of his party.
Islamic radicalism, was followed by a markedly different government rhetoric in response. Previously government responses almost solely consisted of criticising the “death-cult” ISIS, unless Abbott wanted to offload some blame onto the Australian Islamic community for apparently not doing enough to combat extremism. In contrast, Turnbull’s reaction to the shooting was far more sophisticated, explicitly distancing the Muslim community from any blame. It was a reaction symbolic of a moderated approach, which is badly needed in an issue as complex as radicalisation.
It’s a tricky position, one that doesn’t look promising for those hoping Turnbull would bring a new wave of optimism for the sustainable agenda in Australia. Yet our new PM still has some wiggle room. Like I said previously, the substance of government might very well stay the same. However, Abbott’s era was not one defined by substance, but rather a particular style that affected Australian politics in its own right. And his style is exactly where Turnbull can and has sought to distance himself from his predecessor.
A similar change is possible in environmental politics. Given Abbott’s performance – discouraging investment in renewable energy and appointing climate change skeptics to important government positions – a change itself should not be difficult. Yet for Turnbull to positively affect the progress of the environmental agenda in Australia, he must take full advantage of every opportunity
The recent shooting in Parramatta of a police worker by a fifteen year old boy, who has been linked to
available. Domestically, this means displaying a positive and consistent public stance towards renewable energy, which will in turn give business and investors the confidence to put their money towards environmentally friendly initiatives. Internationally, Turnbull must ensure that Australia makes a possible contribution to the Paris climate conference later this year, where the international community will have their latest attempt at agreeing on an multilateral carbon emission reduction scheme. An agreement there would perhaps even give Turnbull the political momentum necessary for a domestic change to climate change policy. For the moment, the substance of Australian climate change policy is not going to change. But a change in style can change the politics of the environmental debate. And this in itself is far better than what we could hope for two months ago.
THE REAL INSPECTOR HOUND (& GOING NUTS) COMMENT Lots of people at the ANU are busy. Many of them are far more stretched for time and pushed for quality than I am. But for the past eight weeks, every conversation I’ve had (and every friendship I’ve neglected) has boiled down to alternately probing and detached discussions of how busy I had been. For the past eight weeks, the National University Theatre Society production of The Real Inspector Hound was my life. It’s pretty trite to talk about a play as if it is your “life”, but (as those of you who have been involved in theatre productions will likely agree) there is no better way to describe it. I scoffed cereal in the car on the way to the theatre. I lugged props. I
THE DIRECTOR OF HOUND, JILLIAN MASTERS repeatedly scraped last night’s scattered sugar-cubes out of the carpet. I spent hours tweaking minute-long scenes with my equally weary actors. I never drove home before midnight. Don’t get me wrong, none of this is a complaint. Throughout the process, I met (and was supported by) a team of generous and discerning individuals. The enthusiasm I received from our cast and from our audience was more than I could ever have accounted for. In every way, directing Hound was more than I was expecting: a bigger handful, a more consuming process, and a more satisfying conclusion.
a society like NUTS is all about. The fuel in the engine. NUTS is a group of people brought together by the incorrigible desire to work in the theatre, who continually dedicate an absurd number of hours to create the explosive (but transient) energy of a fournight show. Over the years, being involved with them has given me the opportunity to create and collaborate with dozens of talented individuals. It has indulged my idealism, my love of wordy gags, and given shape to the same texts that I study between rehearsals. Arthur Miller once wrote that theatre “is the most vulgar of the arts but it is the simplest too… All you need is a human and a board to stand on and something fascinating for
Indeed, the kind of “busy” that I’m talking about here is what
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him to say and do”. And at the end of the day, the kind of “busy” that directing entails is simplest kind of busy in the world. I spent months fretting, pulling together bits and bobs. But in the end, I am most proud of Hound for those whom it pulled together. We put a bunch of talented humans on a board, and gave them an electric script to throw back at the world. They went beyond. Our eight weeks condensed into a scant four nights, but they made me proud with every run. My time couldn’t have been better spent.
A S T R O P H Y S I C S U N D E R G R O U N D SCIENCE Dr Alec Habig has a strange job. Sure, he may hold the prestigious position of Professor in the Department of Physics and Astronomy at the University of Minnesota Duluth, but while most astrophysicists spend their lives in front of computer screens, in labs, in offices or looking up at the galaxy through the lens of a telescope, Dr Habig travels deep into the heart of a State Park, puts on a hardhat, gets in an old mine-shaft elevator, and begins his descent into a state-of-the-art astrophysics facility located nearly a kilometre underground. Dr Alec Habig is the Associate Director of the Soudan Mine Underground Laboratory, a particle physics laboratory located over 700 metres underground in the oldest iron ore mine in Minnesota. From 1882 to 1962, the Soudan
EMILY HAAG Underground Mine served as the deepest and richest iron ore mine in the state, but today sees only the tireless work of physicists trying to answer fundamental questions about the nature of the universe.
the night sky and see (stars, planets, etc). But, we’ve only just started to understand them in the last decade, and still have a long way to go.” In the MINOS experiment, neutrinos are produced by a particle accelerator at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory near Chicago and directed in a beam, straight through the earth, and received 735 kilometres away by the Minnesota lab.
Dr Habig is one scientist working on the Main Injector Neutrino Oscillation Search (MINOS), an experiment focused on uncovering more about the poorly understood particles called neutrinos. “Neutrinos are the second most common particle in the universe (after photons of light),” Dr Habig explains, “There are a billion neutrinos for each one of the more ordinary particles you could name (electrons, protons, neutrons). Even though each neutrino is quite light, there’s as much mass in all the neutrinos out there as is in all the luminous matter you look up into
The MINOS experiment started detecting neutrinos from the Neutrinos at the Main Injector (NuMI) beam from the distant Fermi Lab in 2005. The dense rock walls of the Soudan Underground lab block cosmic rays from interfering with the sensitive experiments.
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More than a trillion neutrinos pass through the MINOS detector each year, but only about 1,500 collide with atoms inside the detector, while the majority pass through undetected. MINOS aims to answer the most fundamental questions about these tiny, baffling particles, such as: Where do neutrinos come from? What is their mass? How are neutrinos related to the mysterious dark matter that makes up nearly a quarter of the universe? After a decade of MINOS operations, the experiment is wrapping up. “We have more firmly established that anti-neutrinos behave very much the same as regular neutrinos something which was part of the theoretical predictions, but not well tested till recently,” says Dr Habig.
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Week 13, Semester 2, 2015.
//E-SPORTS
Woroni Champion of the Week:
CHO-GATH B E CAU S E S I Z E D O E S M AT T E R
JAMES CROWLEY
E-SPORTS
GAMEP L AY Cho-Gath has the ability to really excel in the jungle and stands out as a champion who provides strong utility without requiring snowballing. If you want to run the cutting-edge meta breaking MLG-counterjungle-level2gank360noscope strat, put this guide down and go play Shaco, but if you wanna have leisurely jungle clear and then maybe go gank a bit if you’re feelin it, Cho is your champ. Compared to the hyper mobility jungles of modern times, Cho-Gath is unwieldy with his low mobility, clunky abilities and tendency to be kited. It’s easy to be thrown off by the fact that there’s no wall dash or disjoint to get you out of trouble. The joy of ChoGath doesn’t come from sick dash
mechanics, but from landing that perfect knockup and stomping up to feast their 400 hp lux support. Cho isn’t flashy, but for the summoner looking for a laid back game, he is the perfect choice. Just attack move into the wolves and feel free to tab into the latest stalkerspace beef before returning back to your cleared camp. For the refined league player, Cho-Gath is breath of fresh air, providing the simple pleasures, like playing as a lumbering dinosaur. A game with Cho-Gath offers a genuine sense of fulfilment. Seeing those red spikes circling, hitting “r” and sending their flat ap Malzahar to respawn screen is truly an experience that grows you as an individual.
LORE As an alien-dinosaur-void creature, Cho-Gath is quite the social butterfly Terror of the Void, often found leaving denizens speechless with his fetching conversational skills or meeting the enemy ADC in the dragon pit for lunch. However, the King of the Monsters’ charming demeanour was insufficient to keep up with new hip kids on the rift, and the monster’s standing suffered. With the coming of the mobility-zoic era, the number of Cho-Gaths on the rift declined sharply, as the colossal lizards that once roamed the river gave way to little fish with long poles and stupid disjoint mechanics, whose population has flourished. But not all is woe. ChoGath has thrived since Riot’s recent
gentrification of the jungle, as the new wealthier residents (Gromp) provide a hearty food source for the prehistoric carnivore, with some scholars even heralding the dawn of a Jurassic-renaissance. Whatever the next chapter of ChoGath’s epic holds, it will surely *rupture* expectations and truly provide a *feast* for thought.
“Just attack move into the wolves and feel free to tab into the latest stalkerspace beef before returning back to your cleared camp.” 11
WORONI No.15 Vol.67
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//ARTS & REVIEWS
T H E D OCT O R ’S LOV E ,
OR : H OW I L E ARNE D T O ST O P WOR RYING AND LOVE T H E MUSO S ARTS & REVIEWS In week two of the mid-semester break, I made a very impromptu decision to go to Melbourne, to watch a band. Koi Child had been on my radar for about a month by that point (and with a whole string of shows coming up later this/early next year, it’s about time to get them on yours), the Fremantle-based 7-piece funk-jazz-hip hop crew having had their single “Black Panda” and upcoming album produced by Kevin Parker. With a free schedule from work and a family visit long overdue, it seemed like the perfect excuse to get out of Canberra for a few days. Going to a gig in Melbourne on my own, being the only Canberra rep in a room full of Perth expats and Warner Label execs was a little intimidating to say the least, but the band and the crowd made everyone at the sell-out show feel like they were at their respective homes. For a group with such a polished, punchy and musically brilliant set, I thought they would have no time for a small-town boy like me – the instant assumption being that they either had a full schedule for the night, or that
MARK WILSON by these artists, is that outside of music they are ordinary people just like everyone else. Even at festivals or gigs, their success and genius as musicians doesn’t change the fact that they are, in all other respects, people at festivals or gigs. Groovin The Moo is a perfect example of this: when The Doctor (Lindsay McDougall) had a DJ spot last year, he was more than happy to come and have a chat mid-set about how the festival was going, playing with Kingswood, his touring schedule with Frenzal Rhomb. Had I not been high on the postKingswood vibe, I wouldn’t have had the confidence to even wave to him mid-set, yet we talked like I would have to my friends who I went with to see him.
they had more important people to see. Yet a small comment to the band’s keyboardist at the bar after the gig, about my trip down to catch their set, led to hours of conversation with the group, from which I learned more about the band than any interview could ever get across. For years, I had been glorifying every band and musician that I saw play. I couldn’t help but to be star struck whenever I passed artists in the pit at festivals, some of whom I knew every word to every song in their set. Having heard them on the radio, brought their albums, watched their videos on Youtube, I thought that they were all something else that I could never become; that their immense talent had made me somehow not worthy of associating with them. To some extent I was right – I can’t speak for everyone, but there’s no way I’ll be racking up that attention any time soon.
The year before, a friend of mine had a chat with the gods-amongmen of Tame Impala after their spot at the signing tent, before their set in front of a 10,000 strong crowd. Even though they have such a platform and attention of the whole world, they were willing to take some time off to talk. While naturally he was excited to see them, this didn’t
But, that doesn’t make those who have that attention totally inaccessible. What people often forget, when being star-stricken
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change the fact that they were, in the context of not yet getting ready for their set, festival-goers just like the rest of us there. Glorify these musicians. They are not like the rest of us. They have earned their mantle in the upper echelons of our society, doing that which so many aspiring musicians (myself included) dream of achieving – playing fucking good music to lots of (usually very drunk and very sweaty) people. However, while they deserve nothing less than upmost respect, always remember that, just like you and me, they are people. Regardless of profession, they still have to pay taxes, vote, breathe, eat. So in your admiration, don’t treat them any differently to how you would your friends that you went to the show with – you’re bound to be better off for it. And don’t let the fact that you aren’t doing what they’re doing discourage you from doing it – music for the sake of music is vastly better than music for the sake of being popular. Do what you love, and love what you do.
Week 13, Semester 2, 2015.
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//ARTS & REVIEWS
BELL SHAKESPEARE’S
H A M L E T
ARTS & REVIEWS
JESSICA MASTERS
I was lucky enough to see Bell Shakespeare Company’s production of Hamlet, directed by Damien Ryan, at the Canberra Theatre on Wednesday 14th October. Despite it being one of the longest plays in the history of intellectual snobbery, it was obvious why both Damien Ryan and the Bell Shakespeare team have the reputation they do. A modern take on the script mixed elements of contemporary life and medieval valour, while only a director who knew the script inside out could have drawn out the numerous moments of physical comedy, to the point where the audience was regularly in stitches.
back pain issues. For the audience, it may have been a blessing in disguise (though I suppose we may never know), because his understudy, Scott Sheridan, was sublime. He completely immersed himself in Hamlet’s madness and was quick with winks and resplendent grins when making bawdy jokes that anyone, if reading Hamlet, could have easily skipped over and missed. It takes a talented director to manipulate long Shakespearean soliloquies into clever physical and pun-based comedy, and there were many lines I was surprised (and delighted) to find they cleverly clowned around with.
Damien Ryan gave the audience the courtesy of a personal address pre-show, to tell us that Hamlet’s understudy would be taking the role that night due to the lead, Josh McConville, having
Watching the play, I was surprised by how many everyday quotes we have taken from this classic. There are the quotes normally ascribed to Hamlet “There is something rotten in the state
of Denmark”; “To be or not to be”; “To thine own self be true”; “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”. Then there are some quotes that have been assimilated into everyday speech that I had forgotten had come from the play - “The lady doth protest too much”; “In my mind’s eye”, “[The] dog will have his day”. I was surprised by how much of the play was familiar to me. There was also a few interesting twists added from the mixing of modern design elements: Ophelia’s shroud-wrapped body had a mortuary tag on her toe; Rosencrantz and Guildenstern’s arrival to Denmark was announced over a PA by a smooth female voice in an airport setting and they later arrived at the castle, flashy dressed in turtlenecks, sunglasses and big smiles for the Queen; the Polish
soldiers that storm the castle at the end of the play were dressed in a distinctly South American rebel-style uniform, complete with beret, as if to allude that Poland were as foreign an enemy to Denmark as another continent’s soldiers would be. There was also the use of spying devices, telephones and plenty of cloak-and-dagger folly. Ultimately, each and every cast member was outstanding, especially Scott Sheridan as Hamlet. It was a memorable experience created by people who are obviously extremely passionate and talented with their craft. The Bell Shakespeare Company has an excellent reputation for good reason, and it was a wonderful and surprisingly enjoyable show.
MYANMAR TOUR CREATES A L ASTING IMPRESSION ON ART HISTORY STUDENT S ARTS & REVIEWS Recently I was fortunate enough to travel to Myanmar (formerly Burma) as part of the first international course run by the ANU Centre for Art History and Art Theory. I joined seventeen other art history students who were primed to learn more about Asian art. Our experience actually led to something much more lasting and demonstrates the importance of the ANU’s support for more in-country study opportunities in this wonderful country. On my last day of the trip I found myself in Yangon’s international airport quietly reflecting on the exhausting but exhilarating couple of weeks. It was obvious from looking around the departure lounge that the number of tourists in Myanmar remains relatively small, especially when compared to neighbouring countries like Thailand. But given the recent opening up of Myanmar to tourism, this will surely change. Despite the heat, the unsealed roads and the lack of creature comforts,
SHERIDAN BURNETT Myanmar has a multitude of sparkling pagodas, ancient temple ruins and unspoilt landscapes that stay with you long after you leave. We were lucky enough to see many.
2,200 temple and pagoda ruins stretch out over the plains, which when seen from a height is a journey back in time. Despite its status as an important archaeological zone, it has not been immune from attempts at “restoration”. Such attempts, however well meaning, are not always a seamless integration that fit sympathetically with the ancient city. We saw some fairly dodgy attempts to concrete over walls and stairways, presumably in an attempt to preserve and make safe these places for visitors, but which may actually destroy parts of the buildings.
Shwedagon Pagoda, a glistening gold monument erected to house relics of the Buddha, is a place for the bucket list. Construction started in the 6th century and Shwedagon is a living monument which is constantly evolving and remains central to Burmese identity. The pagoda is surrounded by an ever changing mass of chaotic, busy buildings and shrines. It heaves with people from all over Yangon and further afield who pilgrimage to give offerings in exchange for merit to serve them in the next life. But it is a strangely calming place where time seems to slow down, the busyness of everyday life a world away. Just as awe inspiring is Bagan. A ruined ancient city that rivals the Angkor Wat as a place where one is able to glimpse life in the 9th – 13th centuries. Over
And this is where the real importance of the ANU’s support for students to study in-country in Myanmar comes into play. While the aim of our trip was certainly to increase our own understanding of Burmese art, what actually happened was something far more exciting. We opened up a dialogue with people working in heritage management and museum practice in Myanmar.
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We met with students from Archaeological schools, representatives from the World Monuments Fund, staff from museums and many others. We engaged with and learned from people working to preserve the cultural heritage of this amazing place. Some students even plan to focus further studies on art and culture in Myanmar, an interest that could only have been sparked by experiencing Myanmar on the ground. Given the number of tourists knocking on Myanmar’s door, this interest and dialogue must be developed to ensure future generations can experience this truly wonderful place. Students would like to thank Dr Charlotte Galloway for her tireless hard work and commitment to putting together this memorable experience.
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WORONI No.15 Vol.67
S I X S U M M E R ST E P S FOR A SUPER S TA R T T O 2 K 16 LIFE & STYLE Sometimes at this point of the semester, the only motivation many of us have is the forthcoming summer break. So whether you are HD-Harry or “classes are for passes” Cassy here are seven ways in which you can have a productive summer and hit the New Year feeling prepared and positive.
ESC APE Whether you race every other Canberran to the beach or stay at home, it is absolutely essential to give yourself a break! Even the high achieving contortionists feel cramped under the pressure of a twelve-week semester and it is important to change your routine immediately after your last exam is done. This allows you to separate relax time with study time which can help in making your future labours more fruitful.
NEON INDIAN
V E GA I N T L .
N I G H T S CH O O L MATT BOWES
ARTS & REVIEWS It’s a well accepted fact that the dawn of the internet age has changed the music industry beyond all recognition. Downloads, uploads, Soundcloud, Facebook: all of them have had a role in changing the way we interact with our music. Many cite the date of April 28th 2003, when the iTunes Store was launched, as a starting point for this revolution, but its effects were still hitting home in 2009, when a blogger going by the name of “Carles” purportedly used the term “Chillwave” to describe a specific brand of retrooriented, downtempo, low-fi electropop music. Much to the chagrin of the established music critics, not to mention the bands labelled as such, the term stuck, as unwanted things often do on the internet. For years, music genres had been forged by a select group of pioneers in the legendary atmosphere of a few dingy clubs, just as Nirvana helped create Seattle grunge. In this new age however, a nobody on the internet could loosely group a few current acts with a term he made up, and it suddenly became gospel. Back then, Alan Palomo, going by the name of Neon Indian, was Chillwave’s reluctant leader. Era Extraña, his 2011 second album, may have delved into the psychedelic and abstract, but it still couldn’t shake off that try hard image, the sense that he took his slightly silly music too seriously. It may have taken four years and countless takes, but Palomo has finally come up with an answer to his critics. Vega Intl. Night School both embraces Palomo’s style and distils it to its essentials. The tempo is upped, the samples made more frequent, the pop
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melodies simplified. There’s still a fair bit of that summer quality to the music here, notably in the swaggering reggae grooves that steer “Annie” and “61 Cygni Av”, but whereas previously Palomo had a tendency to pad things out with psychedelic electronic stylings somewhat reminiscent of M83, here he tends towards the clever, carefree inventiveness previously embodied so successfully by his Australian cousins the Avalanches and Cut Copy. The influence of the former is especially evident in playful interludes like “Bozo”, which interweaves a dazzling array of house beats, retro synths and sampled voices, before abruptly cutting out. Refreshingly, none of the album’s 51 minute run time overstays its welcome.
As mentioned in, it is essential that you give your body the time to relax and detox from the stress of study. This is a time where you have no obligations, duties or assignments due tomorrow. Whether it’s reading books, watching television or sunbathing, this is a time when you should not feel under any pressure. Allowing your mind and body to relax allows it to recover from university trauma and prepare for future success.
DRINK S
This is not to say that Palomo doesn’t occasionally let things work themselves out slowly. Fundamentally, as its name would suggest, Night School is an album that plays out on and around the dancefloor, and as such appreciates the slow burn as much as the sharp interjection. Four to the floor beats underpin the albums centrepiece “Slumlord”, which is driven firstly by a disco style bass line, before being replaced by the keyboard motifs of “Slumlord Re-Release”, which impressively juxtaposes foreboding piano chords, snippets of crowds chanting, and a distinctly tropical lead synth that wouldn’t be out of place on a Kygo single. Whereas the latter’s updated interpretation of lo-fi dance is a little bittersweet however, Night School only grows on you, leaving you giddy, pensive, and certainly wanting more.
When I told my housemate I was writing this article, he said: “Mate, I can write the article for you: Step 1: Get shredded; Steps 2-6: Drink a six pack of beer for every ab.” He has a very good point: whether you’re rocking the beach bod or the dad bod, it’s time to party, let loose and drink. This segment is more or less acknowledging that as university students we probably all require the heavenly escape that liquor provides. If you are going to drink yourself into a stupor you might as well do it now so that you can begin your New Years “never drinking again” resolution after your first hangover in December.
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SIMON ROHAN-JONES
ADVENTURE The world is your oyster and you can do what you want with it. But first you need to explore it! As the budding teachers, actors, doctors, lawyers, etc of this world, it is important that we learn about new people and new places. Moreover, this is your two and a half month break where you can make the memories and learn lessons to last a lifetime. Those of us who do score full time career-style jobs after university are unlikely to see little more than a public holiday for time off over the early years of that occupation. Furthermore, by the time you have this much time off, you’ll probably be retired. Even for those of us who may not be seeking full time employment following university; this is your time off, you’ve earned it by studying for the better half of the year so you might as well travel and see the world today.
PREPARE H. Jackson Brown Jr. Says: “The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.”(1) After you finish gallivanting around the world it will be time to return home and begin preparing for the year ahead. The most important part of this step is to look at the preparation itself in a positive way. Only you can determine what makes you subjectively happy. If working hard now will help you tomorrow and if your working hard is enjoyable, is it really hard work?
HIT THE GROUND RUNNING You’ve relaxed, you’ve prepared now it’s time to work hard and enjoy the results but most importantly remember to have fun! (1) http://www.brainyquote.com/ quotes/quotes/h/hjacksonb382774. html?src=t_preparation
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Week 13, Semester 2, 2015.
//LIFE & STYLE
TEA TIME LIFE & STYLE
In the words of the late Tom Haffey, legendary Australian Football coach, renowned teetotaller and fitness guru, when asked for his opinion of beer: “Who needs it? Have you ever had a cup of tea? That’s all you need.” George Orwell, author of Animal Farm and 1984 agrees: “One feels wiser, braver, more optimistic after drinking it.” Tea is a simple concept: it’s water flavoured by leaves. This simple concept is an idea that transcends cultures, however. There is something utterly human about tea. In spite of its simplicity (or perhaps because of it), tea is wonderfully diverse and versatile. As a passionate tea drinker, I’m happy about the rapid growth of the T2 franchise, simply because it has demonstrated to Australians the vast array of
GUS MCMANUS
different teas from all around the world.
There is an overwhelmingly large variety of tea in the world to try: iced, green, black, white, spiced, oolong, herbal and even teas with fruits or nuts. Different cultures have different brewing techniques: Indian spiced chai, Turkish tea with beet sugar cubes, smoky Russian-style twice brewed tea.
My first experience of tea was at yum cha which literally translates to “drink tea”. Chinese tea (and the rest of the Cantonese cuisine) had a dramatic effect on me as a child. I’m white, (although one of my Nana’s grandfathers was apparently Chinese), but at age 5 whilst others hoped to be firemen, I dreamt of becoming a yum cha chef. Such was my love for the cuisine and the tea.
If British style black tea is your passion, and you’re after brewing tips, an essay penned by George Orwell outlines exactly what makes a great cup of tea. It’s hilariously detailed. He analyses every aspect from teapot material – apparently pewter and china pots produce far superior tea to enamel or silver pots.
If you haven’t tried Chinese tea, make sure you do. I adore it and keep stocks of it at home. I do feel personally indebted to Emperor Shennong who, according to legend, invented the drink when a leaf happened to fall into a pot of water that he was boiling.
Chamomile tea is another personal favourite of mine. And its importance increases 15
during exam time. Renowned for its supposed calming effect, generations have sipped chamomile to de-stress and find sleep. I’m not sure about the scientific merit of this but I choose to believe it. I’m certain I feel more relaxed after a cup of Chamomile tea and many a stressful exam period has been successfully navigated with a mug of chamomile in hand. I’ve been told it goes well with a hint of honey or a squeeze of lemon, but as a purist, all I want is the full chamomile flavour. So next time you see yourself in need of a refreshing beverage, do consider the world of tea. With all its varieties and options for consumption, you may just come across a new hobby.
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WORONI No.15 Vol.67
AGREE TO DISAGREE
DRESS TO BE YOUR BEST
HALLOWEEN COSTUMES
☞ H A L L O W E E N ☜ O R
“ H E L L NO ” -W E E N ?
LIFE & STYLE
MAEVE BANNISTER & PAROKSH PRASAD
Halloween originally emerged to signal the beginning of “Allhallowtide”, a time in the Western Christian liturgical calendar dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints, martyrs and loved ones. Now, however, Halloween is a more secular tradition and, oddly, its celebration (or lack thereof) in Australia has become an incredibly debatable topic. On the one hand, we have the people who don’t see the harm of dressing up for the evening and making their way around the neighbourhood for an hour or two. On the other hand, oh… don’t even start. The question: Halloween or “Hell no”-ween?
AG R E E ? Dear Paroksh, Happy Halloween! Okay, I can see you rolling your eyes, but just hear me out for a minute. Why do Australian’s have such a problem with the idea of Halloween? The main argument I’ve heard is that it’s “too American”, but I am extremely confused by this. When did “too American” become a bad thing, or something that Australian’s weren’t into? When Taylor Swift released 1989, did we all say “Nah, can’t listen to it, she’s too American”? When Apple released the iPhone 6S, did we all say “Nah, can’t buy it, it’s too American”? Of course not! A lot of our traditions hark back to Britain and America.
LIFE & STYLE Are you busy writing a million and one essays and have no time to shop or dress up for Halloween? Are you tired of donning the same old clichéd vampires, cats and other beasts? This is where I come in because the following are some interesting, not so time consuming and comfortable costume ideas for you.
D I SAG R E E ? Dear Maeve, Yes, I will roll my eyes and yes, I will scoff at you if you say that you want to go trick or treating. My opposition to the celebration of Halloween is threefold: Firstly, I respond to the point raised regarding America. I am a staunch misanthrope of American cultural imperialism. I disagree with the idea of seeing a need to borrow tradition from outside when we’ve such rich and vibrant roots ourselves. Why do we not celebrate Aboriginal festivals rather than such a morbid, American concept?
SMAR T Y PANT S This is a shout-out to all those people who are not in the mood for partying but are blackmailed and dragged along by their friends. Yes, I sympathise with the difficulty you feel in having to socialise after many sleepless nights of study. However, this is incredibly easy and versatile. All you have to do is dress casually: normal pants and a tee. Now comes the fun part, print off a random sheet of paper with some MCQs on it and grade yourself an A+, staple it to your pants and voilà!
Secondly, Halloween, as a thematic subject, is incredibly tacky. Lots of plastic and weirdly displeasing colours. Compare this to our celebrations for Melbourne Cup, which are the epitome of chic and panache. One is all the class, the other is mere crass. Thirdly, we do not need any other reason to feed the children of our nation more junk food. The obesity crisis shows no signs of subsidence. Why stroll around the neighbourhood being fed lollies when you could dig into a tasty, fresh fruit salad and head down to the oval to kick a footy? Make good choices, children.
MAJOR L AZER This one is for the lazy people out there. Are you in your pyjamas and too comfortable to change? Well, here’s some good news. Firstly, you are not alone. Secondly, you can go out in your pyjamas and claim that your “costume” is in fact the uniform of the lazy person. Not only will you be comfortable all night, but you’ll stand out too!
My dearest Maeve, I think we’ll just have to agree to disagree. Regards, Paroksh
I mean, if you’re happy to send a Christmas card that has pictures of snow and reindeers on it, or gorge yourself on chocolate at Easter, but not happy when you see children trick or treating on Halloween, then you’ve got a serious double-standard. I say it’s time to embrace the holiday, organise costumes, and have a bit of fun.
ONESIES This is somewhat self-explanatory. We all know laziness has its stages. First, where you just don’t want to dress up. Second, where you want to go out but don’t want to take
Paroksh, don’t even try and tell me I’m wrong. Regards, Maeve
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DHWANEE MEHTA time to dress up. Third, where you want to go out but don’t want to go shopping for an outfit in which to dress up. How about shopping online for onesies? Some sites have great dinosaurs, unicorns, and even tree onesies, all of which will look super adorable if carried off well!
WANN ABE AR TIS T It is safe to say that most of us have tried our hands at painting, some of whom have failed miserably too. However, this is completely okay because these are the skills you’ll need for this costume. Pick an outfit which is completely white and splash paint all over yourself. Pick up a beret and a palette from the $2 shop and you’ll be mistaken for Van Gogh.
GO CL ASSIQUE! Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? A thousand times, yes! The classic look can never go out of date and it’s pretty easy. All you need is a black dress, bunup your hair, throw on a string of pearls and lo and behold, Audrey Hepburn! Alternatively, pick a white dress and a blonde bob wig and you’re ready to go. The vintage look usually stands out as a winner! As cheap and easy all these are, push the boundaries and try something different too. This is only the start of endless possibility!
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Week 13, Semester 2, 2015.
HOW TO WIN AT THE RACES LIFE & STYLE
The sun is out, the pollen is falling, exams are near, and this all means one thing… it’s spring and it’s time to go racing! The Spring Carnival of racing is a highlight on the Australian social, cultural and sporting calendar and a great pastime still enjoyed by hundreds of thousands of racegoers each spring. While the main focus is to win over the bookies and make some hard earned cash, it’s also important to win in the highly esteemed fashion stakes. Things can get very competitive out there, not only on the track amongst the jockeys, but also on the runway. This goes for the boys too, so here are the key tips to looking your best on track this summer.
COLOUR It’s spring time so have some fun! The races are all about showing off, being flamboyant and standing out. This means bright shirts, ties and pocket squares. Don’t feel conservative on track, because the spring carnival is anything but. Blues, cool reds, purples are big spring-time colours and with loads of variations and designs available, make the most of them.
GENE SCHIRRIPA
M IX AN D M ATC H You need to dress up, but that doesn’t necessarily mean a matching blazer and trouser suit combination. Feel free to mix and match in keeping in line with the theme of flamboyancy. Wearing a different blazer and trousers, so long as they complement each other, is a great way of creating an edgy, fashionable look. A classic look is the navy blazer with cream or fawn trousers.
ACC E S S O R I S E Sunglasses, pocket squares, tie bars… all the little things can make a difference to your overall look and will ensure you are looking as sharp as you can out on the track. It’s the little things that count. Just remember that the race track is all about style, and breaking free from your comfort zone. Have fun and mark this wonderful time of year with a new sense of style. Be bold, daring and courageous on track this spring and you’ll be sure to win at the races.
PAT T ERN Patterned shirts are a staple for a classic bold spring look. Make sure your shirt is interesting and stylish. Whether it is stripes, checks or some other design, keep your shirt captivating and break free from the usual trend.
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//LIFE & STYLE
WORONI No.15 Vol.67
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HOW I LEARNT TO HATE, AND THEN LOVE, MY BODY LIFE & STYLE I have always had a tumultuous relationship with my body. I don’t remember a time in my life that I wasn’t ashamed of how I look. It is important to remember that this is a learnt behaviour – I don’t hate my body because it deserves to be hated, I hate it because that’s the only way I know how to treat it. I, and almost everyone else I know, have internalised an arbitrary standard of how my body should look and function. I am trying to teach myself to love my body in all its glory, for its inherent, unending value and beauty. At 8, my uncle remarked on my
HARRIET ROCHESTER protruding stomach with a harsh “What’s all this? No cake for you”.
and starved myself most days. With a ‘healthy’ lifestyle I punished my body for not being right. I equated being physically desirable with being valuable.
At 9 I had my appendix urgently removed. It was incredibly frightening, but the doctor reassured me that I could still be a swimsuit model when I was older.
At 18 I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. The medication I had take made me gain a tonne of weight. I ate to cope with my emotions and homesickness.
At 16 a boy wanted to fool around with me but didn’t want to be seen together in public.
My hatred of my body came from some of the people closest to me, people I thought cared about my wellbeing. It is completely unacceptable to teach young people to hold themselves to some irrational standard.
At 17 I shaved my hair for charity. Someone on the street yelled “big legs no hair” a few days later. Later that year I started going to the gym every single day before school
Now, I try my best to remind myself everyday that I have an amazing body that can do some pretty amazing things. I try to choose a new thing to celebrate about my body everyday. It’s really hard to un-teach yourself all the irrelevant standards you have always been compared to. Still, my body doesn’t work how I sometimes think it should. I don’t always feel comfortable in my own skin. It’s okay not to love yourself everyday, but it is so important to try.
HOUSE OF CARDS: ANU HUMOUR & SATIRE There are two people in this world; those who follow, and those who lead. I am of the latter category, but unlike you my leadership isn’t tokenistic or limited. I am one of those who desire to rule ANU. You’ve heard of me. The word BNOC was invented so people would understand just how much of a big deal I am. I despise that word now. It has become watered down, a mockery of what it really means to be a big deal. To put it simply, being the ANUSA presidency is my birthright. October 31st 2015. I’m one of the few people who looks good in fluoro. I’ve already started my campaign for next year’s ANUSA elections and so far things are going perfectly. People stop me in the streets, to first tell me how much they admire me, then to tell me how much they enjoy looking at me. A message bleeps onto my phone. A gen rep candidate. They are offering funds to the campaign. They just don’t get it. Campaigning isn’t about funds, or money. Campaigning is about the thrill, the thrill of winning and the thrill of gaining power. Another message. This one is from her. She is the only person who
ANDREW CAVANAGH understands. My lady MacBeth, although she knows I am the one calling the shots. I trust her absolutely, and only she understands the feeling of being born to rule. We have a plan. We need to teach our gen reps a lesson in ruthlessness. Politics is a game where you have to be able to pull the trigger. It is no good to say you have what it takes, it is something that needs to be proven.
trying to scrounge likes off one another. Today, the notifications are piling up. I ignore them. I have better things to do with my life.
were my ideas! I am hounded by the people. Murderer! Inhuman! Sadist! I could tell them the truth. They wouldn’t care anyway.
A text. From her. “Check stalkerspace”
23rd of June. 2016. She has launched her own ticket. All of those who were previously backing me have now supported her. She will get elected.
There! That post I am tagged in! A gen rep candidate has posted about my actions last night. He doesn’t get it. People will see my strength. The fact that I can take action and go beyond what is required for a candidate. I don’t read the comments.
In the twilight of Halloween, we meet by Sullies. The sun set behind the hills in the distant as the last rays of the day glisten across the surface of the water. The whole ticket is there. There eyes fixated on me, their God and their ticket to electoral salvation.
My phone rings. An unknown number. It is the chancellor. He was just saw the video. I explain to him about leadership and strength. He tells me it is disgusting. I even tell him the truth. He doesn’t listen, saying that such an action should never have taken place in the first instance.
“Politics is a game. But it is a game where you need to do stuff you never thought could do before.” I curl my lip in anticipation of my next line, waiting to see the terror in their eyes. Our masterstroke that will inspire loyalty and fear.
I am told to take a sabbatical from ANU. Talk to a shrink. Have some time away from this place. I protest. The Chancellor tells me it is not a request, it is an order.
“See that duck? I am going to go and kill that duck”
22nd June. 2016. ANUSA elections tickets closed yesterday. She has announced her ticket, using all my ideas, my people. I interject on Facebook, these
November 1st 2015. I don’t care for Facebook. The lives of narcissistic plebeians desperately
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Nobody will care that I didn’t kill the duck. It was merely a dummy I hid in the grass and pervaded under the twilight. I am not a monster; this was her idea all along. Her idea to show me off as a leader of strength, a leader of action. Then it hits. It was her idea to remove me from this campaign. To clear the way to ensure that she could take my place. I am nothing now, cut off from my university, a pariah. She’s taken my presidency, my campaign, my ideas, my birthright. But this means nothing. I shall return. I will retake my position. In the cut-throat world of university politics, it is the ones who you think are beat that slip you the dagger in the night. I will return. Watch out ANU.
W
Week 13, Semester 2, 2015.
//HUMOUR & SATIRE
ON THE PERILS OF OVERCONFIDENCE IN ITS LIQUID FORM (THURSDAY
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I only wish I hadn’t gone to Oktoberfest quite so early this morning. In retrospect, that may have been a tactical mistake. I only meant to have one or two beers, just for confidence. Sometimes I do get nervous, and so: “Gavin,” I said to myself, “Gavin, just one or two beers might just be good for you. Lubricate the organ of speech, and help with the slight need to projectile vomit you sometimes get.” But now that I remember, I’m beginning to doubt that it was really necessary to line up out the front of the pub a good twenty minutes before the doors opened. Ah well, it’s done now. And look, they’re calling me out the front. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken that short nap at my desk before the tute started, everyone’s looking at me a bit funny. Oh look, a bit of drool on my sleeve. I’ll just inconspicuously brush it off like thiiiiis – just a natural-looking scratch of the head, followed by an equally naturallooking wipe of the forearm on my luscious curls. All good, drool gone.
A SERIES OF JOKES, CURRENTLY ON STAND-BY
2 015 )
ZENO
HUMOUR & SATIRE Ok. Steady yourself. It’s just a presentation. All we’ve got to do is stand up, walk to the front, talk for 10 minutes about legal theory, and sit down again. Applause. Adulation. Eternal respect. Hopefully a pass. Easy as cake.
OCTOBER,
TH
Confident and ready to begin.
Maybe it will be better without the Powerpoint?
Woah! Standing up is an interesting experience. Who would have thought that the Earth would be spinning so much more rapidly up here? Spinning, spinning, spinning… and, no, it’s all good, I don’t need help, I’m back up again. Ok. Time to walk to the front of the room. Done. Made it – Now to just plug in this USB with my Powerpoint on it. Hmm. That’s strange. It doesn’t seem to be working. It won’t go in. University IT, amirite? Let’s just give this computer a quick twist around to see what’s going on around the back – actually, it’s a bit stiff, almost like it’s been locked into place. I’ll just wrench it a bit harder… Oh shit. That crunching sound didn’t sound good. Play it cool Gavin, no fear, everything’s sweet – I’m sure no-one noticed. Just pretend you don’t really have a Powerpoint, and you were just checking the computer for dust like any normal, sober, respectable student would be doing. You can wing it, right? After all, when you were working on that Powerpoint at three-thirty in the morning last night you said to yourself, didn’t you: “Gavin, this is a truly dire Powerpoint. You’re definitely going to need to drown your sorrows at the pub tomorrow, for lo, Gavin, they are immense.”
Alrighty Gavin old friend, time to unleash the floodgates of knowledge upon these headlightstricken rabbits. Yes Gavin, I realise that’s a mixed metaphor, but it’s the thought that counts, right? You can improvise this presentation, you’re all over the research. Or, at least, you have lots of very impressivesounding articles open in different tabs on the computer at home, which is basically the same thing. Go! “Susan Okin is a legal theorist from New Zealand” Yes, that’s the right name! You’re doing well Gavin, you’ve only just started and you’re already on the home stretch “She says, right, that…” Oh shit Gavin, what does she say again? Just reiterate what you’re talking about, that will sound thorough and competent, tick all of the boxes. “Legal theory, which is what I’m talking about, well, I say that, and Susan Okin, she also says that legal theory is the theory in which we deal with legal.” Laws, Gavin, shit! They’re called laws!
Q. What area of law did the VC pioneer? A. Harm Schmidtigation
Supplementary Q. Would you ever get a drink with the VC? A. Only if he’s Brian.
Q. What’s the VC’s favourite daytime television show? A. Malcom in the Schmidtle
Notes: Moroni page. The writer also requests that Schmidt’s face be superimposed on a chicken schnitzel. I’m not sure if this is possible or appropriate.
Q. What motivational saying does the VC have hung up over the Chancellory toilet? A. Schmidt happens Q. Will the VC do any research while he is administering the university? A. Just a Schmidtgen Q. How does the VC keep his fingers warm? A. He wears Schmidttens Q. Which classic piece of pub-grub does the VC have a soft spot for? A. Chicken Schmidtzel Q. Why does the VC never drink too much beer? A. He only ever orders Schmiddies.
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“Laws!” Oh wow. That might have been a little bit loud. They’re all looking a bit funny now. And I don’t 100% remember the beginning of this sentence. Oh no. Gavin, gird up thy loins. We’re just going to have to improvise. ***** POSTSCRIPT Gavin, mate, you did well. Circumstances were difficult, but I think, all in all, you gave a pretty good presentation. Very informative. Admittedly, it’s possible that not all of the class wanted to know quite so much about your ex-girlfriend, but some of them seemed very appreciative. The tutor even almost nodded once or twice. I’m sure he appreciated the hug, too, and who doesn’t like to hear that they’re loved, in, like, a platonic, manly way. The applause, too, was scattered, and a there was maybe the barest hint of a few sighs of relief, but there was definitely some applause, especially when you mentioned the bit about craving a kebab. All in all, you did well mate. You deserve another drink.
ORONI
W
COMPLAINTS? CALL DIRECTLY AND REGISTER YOUR COMPLAINT HERE: (02) 6125 2444
A R T
{ WO L LY } W
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HUMOUR & SATIRE Lost it inside you? Broken up with over snapchat? In this spontaneous segment, Woroni makes fun of your worst romantic disasters from that time you discovered the identities of the amateur porn stars on your floor to the time room inspections had you on the edge. And kept you there for the next painfully long 10 minutes. Email satire@woroni.com.au with your stickiest adventures and we might actually publish it, depending on how badly it will make you cringe when you see it in the paper. Yours truly, Wolly
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REVIEW
IVANA SMOJVER that bad? I’ll take him to emergency afterwards. Love your work, Ivy
HUMOUR & SATIRE
[1] Everyone does not refer solely to the disgusting waitress that served us last night. Everyone should be read in light of its ordinary meaning.
DISCLAIMER: A warning to all readers that this article is a construct. To quote the omniscient narrator from Pride, Prejudice, and PostModern Productions in Parkes ‘n Palmerston, it is a truth universally acknowledged that every bustling new city must be in search of postmodern artwork.
#WOLLYQUERY6 By Ivana Smojver
#WOLLYQUERY5 By Ivana Smojver WARNING: This letter contains many popculture references. Reader discretion is advised. Dear Wolly, I’m not great at writing letters, unlike my BF. Not that my BF is particularly good at writing letters. He just happens to be good at everything. This has frankly crossed the line of mild annoyance and taken a bitter turn into enemy territory after my semi-laughable wit took the backseat to his spectacular uh… general over-achievement in all things concerning life and living. What I should say before divulging the pure misery of my sidekickness is that I really wouldn’t categorise myself as the envious type. I enjoy the sparkle in my BF’s eyes when he lands himself a coveted footy contract or beats me in student elections. I’m happy that he’s doing great, even if that is slightly better than me. In fact, it’s always been like that from the get-go and I never minded because I thought of us as a partnership. A power couple akin to Brangelina. An obliterating force so bright you had to shield yo eyes when you see us rollin’ down Union Court. So when did I grow a blonde bob and become Hillary Clinton in a pant suit, huh? The “wind under his wings” they graced upon me, smiling in surreptitious bitchiness. Cool story bro. I felt like Wolverine, pulse jumping out of my neck every time he called me “sugar”. Sugar. White. Ordinary. Demonized by dieticians for have having no nutritional value whatsoever! And that probably made him a quinoa. A goddamn sexy superfood that everyone[1] wanted to shovel down their gob. I was cute. He was beautiful. I was smart. He was inspirational. I was going to go far. He was going to shoot rainbows from his ass and end world poverty, cure cancer and impress my mother until she was a dilly dally bright pink and practically gurgling “Oh gosh, Darling, you’re so lucky to have him”. You see, it gets annoying after a while. Wolly, if this goes on for any longer I might murder my partner in crime and this means that we will probably never find a cure for cancer. I don’t doubt my BF’s feelings for me. I do still believe that he loves me as he first did when we met. But I really want to scratch his face off and make him a little less exotic/perfect looking… Is
Dear Wolly, I am a commerce student majoring in accounting and finance and desperately struggling with one of my group assignments. I probably should mention that this isn’t about “love” relationships but I still need your help to figure this one out.
The coherent string of postapocalyptic structures placed in the midst of the cultural and artistic hub that is Canberra, bring to attention some seriously pressing issues. Whether it’s the phallic owl that watches over Belconnen, or the trail of famished looking hounds opposite O’Malley’s, these pieces are revolutionising the very concept of postmodern art. In my mind, at least, Canberran art is inherently hypocritical in nature; its efforts to expose the corruption within the metanarratives of patriarchy and consumerism are in fact a reflection of its conformity to them.
The group has a finance assignment due in about a week and the other three people I am working with are not exactly cooperative to put it mildly. The work always seems to be “done” but I never get to see it, and when I do push them into sending me something it’s usually just masses of numbers, like the matrix code. One of my assignment buddies has gone as far as calling me pushy and menacing, which is blatantly a lie. I just want to get this assignment done so I can leave the Chif a bit earlier on a Friday afternoon and sneak in a coffee with my friends without my parentals finding out! What concerns me most, however, is that I think my assignment buddies might be spies, and I’m not actually sure what to do about this. There have been some really obvious signs like they are always wearing dark clothing, and saying things such as “I have business to take care of” or “I’ll be back”. More than once I have spotted them at the Chif staring at me before I look up, startled, and realise I am being watched. *Shudder*. I have caught them roaming aimlessly around UniLodge HQ and I know for a fact they cannot be students. Because students, especially commerce students, don’t walk around with their heads up in the clouds; listless and utterly dazed. Twice already they have cancelling our group meetings. This is no coincidence, I am sure you realise, because they have other “commitments” like keeping the safety and justice of ANU intact.
If the critical thinker Derrida is unknown to you, you may not realise that an artwork must be viewed in conjunction with its surroundings. For example, the significance of a rose is meaningless when context is not given to it. One must consider, is it is in a garden, and if so, is it dying? How many of them are there? Or has it unfortunately been plucked already and placed in a lover’s vase? The thing is, I have not told you what the rose looks like, and you have probably pictured a red one in your mind, still fresh (no bruised petals), and perhaps with a couple of thorns. You’ve already made a judgement about what it was going to be.
How do I make my group understand that understanding EBIT and compound interest are still really important if you’re a spy? They’ve pretty much blown their cover already simply for the lack of interest in the assignment. Everybody knows commerce students are the most conscientious of the lot! Your truly, U5883349
This is the principle by which Canberran artwork habituates; it is
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JESSICA IM fundamentally deconstructionist. This type of ill-advised, impulsive, and restrictive thinking invites is what Canberra’s artworks seek to challenge and destroy. It’s about context. It’s about trying to convey a message to a 21st century audience by making things as discreet and as hard to understand as possible.(1) Some of the newest and most exciting artistic developments within the city are unauthorised. You might not even be unaware that they even are artworks. Think deep. Next time you stroll through Garema Place, take a closer look at the wondrous mound of pigeon droppings that adorn the bike rails. They are there for a reason. So you ask me what’s the différance between that and Picasso? Well, in short, nothing, really. There is no fixed meaning to it, and that’s why it’s important. But if these artworks have not at least brought to your attention the superficiality of today’s ever secularist, consumerist, Eurocentric world, then I don’t know what will. But perhaps this is the sacrifice postmodern art pays; it is so often misunderstood, and that is the beauty of art itself. Oh excuse me, what a post-modern thing to say. [1] Also see Hugo Boss’ 3x5 metre advertisement poster in Canberra Centre. (What are Hugo Boss’ true intentions-is Hugo Boss really asking me to buy their thirty-thousand dollar suit?)** **On a side note, Hugo Boss is a dying brand - go for something more avantgarde like Versace.