Woroni: Edition 12, 2012

Reviewed: Knightsbridge’s Spring Cocktails

The Perfect Troll

True love, soulmates & other bullshit

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WORONI The Australian National University Newspaper Since 1948

NO.12 VOL 64

OCT 04

Union Cleans up its Act NAKUL LEGHA CAM WILSON

Fenner to Haul in Non-ressies THE EDITORS

Fenner Hall is set to grant membership to 180 non-resident students in 2013, allowing students from outside the Hall to experience college life and signalling the beginning of an era of co-investment in the Residential Halls by the University.

Head of Hall Dr Jasmine Jury announced the non-residential annex to all Fenner Hall residents last week, stating that, “Fenner has always been the kind of place which is open to all… I think a non-residential annex will prove to be a good cultural fit for the community we currently have.”

The residences of Melbourne University have had a similar scheme in place for some time, and it has proven highly successful in opening up the collegiate experience to all interested students.

The exact details of the scheme have yet to be announced, however Fenner Hall President, Daniel Rose, hinted that they would be aiming to mimic the Griffin Hall model.

The scheme would grant full rights and privileges to the new associate members, with the exception of access to living spaces and the opportunity to nominate for executive positions on the residents’ committee.

“We’re seeking to establish an ideal model which will see them smoothly integrate into our community, while providing them with our committee’s culture of excellent service delivery and a living body of knowledge,” Mr Rose said.

The plan has yet to be brought fto the wider community for consultation, but some committee members have expressed concerns about the extent to which the non-residential annex will change the make-up of Fenner Hall.

Alexander Townsend, Fenner Hall Sports Representative, is concerned that the new program will overpopulate the Hall.

“If all 180 join, Fenner Hall would be well over capacity - Social events would be outsourced… Capacity of our services such as kitchens, computers, study spaces, car parks, and bike sheds are already criticised, additional students would drastically limit these resources,” Mr Townsend said.

The move will go some way to addressing the growing calls for the University to deliver non-residential students the services and outcomes that residential students receive.

The implications for the University’s stated plan to open up to eight virtual Halls are

unclear. Griffin Hall, a virtual Hall for nonresident students, has almost filled to capacity, and has succeeded in interhall competitions. The Hall, however, has had difficulty securing bricks and mortar infrastructure from an increasingly cramped University.

The establishment of this program inevitably comes with significant funding commitments from the University, and an increased income for the residents’ committee in the form of membership levies.

With the discussion over rental tariffs this year centring on the need for the University to cross-subsidise ballooning rent in the Residential Halls in order to cover the $60m maintenance backlog, the non-residential annex marks the first step in the University recognising the wider role the Halls play in the student experience.

The University has not yet announced plans to roll out non-residential membership to the other ANU Residential Halls. If the pilot scheme is successful, it is possible that Burton & Garran, Bruce and Ursula Halls will follow suit.

Daniel Rose is also a member of the ANU Student Media Editorial Board, which publishes this newspaper.

The ANU Union Board is proposing a slew of constitutional changes to improve the Union’s accountability and relevance to the study body in the lead-up to a crucial Ordinary General Meeting on Thursday, 11th October. It is the first time in twenty years that the Union’s Constitution will be amended.

The Union has released a 77-page list of reforms, which focuses on changes to electoral regulations and the Union’s objectives, allocation of money to ANU clubs and societies and the potential inclusion of ANU Students’ Association (ANUSA) and Postgraduate and Research Students’ Association (PARSA) representatives on the board.

The ANU Union oversees a turnover of $4.2 million and manages the Union Building, which houses Subway, the ANU Bar and Newsagency, as well as most of the for-profit businesses on campus such as Zambreros.

Criticism has consistently been leveled at the Union Board for its lack of responsiveness to student needs and transparency in how it conducts its affairs.

The proposed changes come after a lengthy review carried out by the Constitutional Review Committee which included ANUSA, PARSA and Union representatives.

“Students have long been asking for a more transparent and accountable Union. Now we finally have the chance,” said the Union Board in a joint statement.

Article continues on page 2

ASYLUM SEEKERS ‘CHOOSE’ TO RETURN HOME: AN ALTERNATIVE NARRATIVE [11] ARTS REVUE REVELS IN STEREOTYPES [18] NRL & AFL GRAND FINALS: GLORIOUS SWANS AMIDST A SUMMER STORM [22] OH MERCY TALK GIGS & GIRLS [16]

NEWS//2

Union Cleans Up its Act

BRIEFLY WITH SHAN-VERNE LIEW

Youth Vote A No Go

74 candidates will be standing for election to the ACT Legislative Assembly when polling opens on 20th October. As of four days before registration closed on 21st September, only two-fifths of 18-year-olds and less than half of all 19-year olds had registered to vote in the ACT. 2,400 residents registered to vote on the final day before close of rolls.

Article continued from page 1

“It’s the first time in more than 20 years that the Constitution has been reviewed and it needs updating.”

“The largest changes include providing ANUSA and PARSA with a seat on the Board, reducing election hours, changing election times from August to March and ensuring students get the most out of their student representatives.”

Elections will become closed campus and a spending cap of $600 per group ticket or individual candidate will be imposed. As a comparison, each ticket has a spending cap of $50 per contested position in ANUSA elections.

Patients in Waiting

After revelations that Canberra Hospital’s Emergency Department (ED) waiting time records had been doctored, ACT Health has revised its historical waiting time figures for 2009-2011. The directorate contends that 60% of ED patients were seen on time in 2009, 62% in 2010 and 55% in 2011, according to The Canberra Times.

A recent Australian Institute of Health and Welfare report found that 40% of all ED presentations to ACT hospitals were “potentially avoidable GP-type presentations”.

LISA VISENTIN

Elizabeth Buchan, a third year Bachelor of Arts/Science student, has scored a coveted opportunity to participate in international diplomacy via the Global Voices initiative.

In November, Elizabeth will travel to Qatar to join six other young Australians from universities across the country as part of the Global Voices Australian Youth Delegation to the United Nations Convention on Climate Change Change’s 18th Conference of Parties. She will have the opportunity to witness and influence international negotiations between countries first hand and be among a range of world leaders expected to attend.

Holidays Here to Stay GUS MCCUBBING

Woroni understands that the University Education Committee has rejected the recent proposal to alter the academic calendar. This move would have entailed shortening semesters to twelve weeks (which is in line all other G08 institutions) and the

Want to be a part of Woroni?

Nominations for a position on the Editorial Board are now open!

The primary responsibility of the editors is to oversee production of Woroni, ANU’s official student newspaper; weekly broadcasts of Woroni Radio; and to manage the affairs of ANU Student Media.

Get in touch at elections@woroni.com.au by 5pm Friday 5th October.

EDITORIAL BOARD Liv Clark Farz Edraki Nakul Legha Yasmin Masri Gus McCubbing Dan Rose Lisa Visentin Cam Wilson

SUB EDITORS Ben Henschke Shan-Verne Liew Alex O’Sullivan Gareth Robinson Vincent Chiang Jess Millen

Teaching Courses Axed

ANU Student to Talk Climate at UN

ANU Slays Competition ANU is now ranked 24th globally in the QS World University Rankings, up from 26th in 2011. QS Rankings are based on six indicators: global academic reputation (40%), citations per faculty (20%), faculty-student ratio (20%), reputation among employers (10%), proportion of international students (5%) and proportion of international faculty (5%).

ANU’s ranking was bolstered mainly by its strong academic reputation (21st) and to a lesser extent its ratio of international faculty (18th), but was also weakened by its faculty-student ratio (109th), and employer reputation (56th).

A source from ANUSA who did not wish to be named said such changes were “a long time coming and much needed to restore trust in the Union and level the playing field for elections”.

In a cruel twist, the biggest hurdle to passing these constitutional changes is the Union Constitution itself which requires 100 students attend the meeting in order to meet quorum. Presently, only 40 students are reBEN HENSCHKE quired to meet quorum at an ANUSA OGM. At least two jobs could be lost under the The ANU Union OGM is on at 4pm, ThursANU’s plan to replace its formal higher eduday, 11th October at the ANU Bar. cation teaching program with short online Learn more about the changes to the Union courses. from Board member Dallas Proctor on page 4.

The University has proposed to cut its Graduate Certificate and Master of Higher Education as part of widespread changes to the Centre for Higher Education, Learning and Teaching.

Staff were given two weeks to comment on the overhaul, which Deputy Vice-Chancellor (Academic) Professor Marnie Hughes-Warrington states is necessary due to declining interest in the courses. Enrolment in the two courses has dropped by half since 2010.

“What we’re doing is actually shifting the activities of the centre more and more in line with where staff demand is,” Professor Hughes-Warrington said.

She said that two jobs could be lost in the restructure. The University aims to redeploy these staff, but could offer redundancies instead.

The National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) has expressed concern over the changes, warning of the loss of up to 10 jobs.

“For the university at a time like this to Elizabeth will attend the Convention havabandon the Graduate Certificate and the ing completed the ANU’s Australian National Masters is a very disturbing prospect because Internships Program with the Parliamentary it would be one of the few universities in AusSecretary for Climate Change. tralia that doesn’t offer this,” NTEU ACT sec“Attending this forum will allow me to put retary Stephen Darwin told the ABC. my skills and knowledge of tackling climate The 12 PhD students based in the Centre change into practice”, says Elizabeth. also face an uncertain future, Mr Darwin The experience will entail more than a said. purely observatory role, requiring the proThe Postgraduate and Research Students’ duction of a paper on an aspect related to Association (PARSA) recognises the need to climate change. This will form a part of streamline under-enrolled courses, but is still Elizabeth’s Research Fellowship with Global discussing its position on the ANU’s new emVoices. phasis on online education.

“This is truly a once in a lifetime oppor“There are huge positive outcomes that can tunity for Elizabeth”, said Dina Hestad from come of ANU investing in online education Global Voices. for the future. However, there are also serious concerns to be addressed such as the impact on the student experience and professional relationships between students and staff,” mid-semester breaks to a single week. The PARSA President Julie Melrose said. proposal was made due to college complaints Professor Hughes-Warrington said the that there wasn’t enough time to mark exam switch to online courses enables students papers before results had to be released and to better accommodate their research and the fact that examination management is teaching duties.

Students who prefer a formal award course nearing capacity. could complete a graduate certificate at the University of Canberra, she said.

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Campus News Canberra News Comment Features Life & Style Reviewed

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NEWS// 3

Our Closest Neighbour?

ROHANA PRINCE

On 21st and 22nd September, the ANU’s Crawford School of Public Policy hosted the 2012 Indonesia Update Conference. Each year, academics, diplomats, businesspeople, non-governmental organisation representatives, government officials and students gather to hear of the economic and political situation in our Asian neighbour. This year’s theme was education.

Richard Woolcott, Australia’s former ambassador to Indonesia, delivered the opening address, highlighting the desperate need for education in both societies. He was not speaking about school children in Java or remote Aboriginal communities. Instead, he was referring to the wider attitudes within both Australian and Indonesian societies, which he sees as “ill-informed and out of date” and in need of change.

The statistics presented in this year’s Lowy Institute Poll support Mr Woolcott’s claim.

31% of respondents said they saw Indonesia as a threat to Australia, with only 54% saying they have a positive view of Indonesia. The polls show Australians also believe that Indonesia hasn’t changed politically over the last 15 years – a remarkable fact given Indonesia’s transition from authoritarianism to democracy following Soeharto’s downfall in 1998.

Indonesians hold similarly misinformed views of Australians. Many cannot forget Australia’s role in East Timor’s independence and subsequently believe Australia supports the separatist movement in West Papua. A great number of Indonesians also see Australians as “loud, boisterous and racist”, views no doubt informed by the (often drunk) Australian tourists that flock to Bali for their end of season celebrations.

Mr Woolcott also highlighted key facts that both societies do not know about each other. Some Indonesians do not know that Australia has a constantly changing demography, with many citizens either being born outside of Australia or having parents who were born overseas, as well as being a host to a great number of international students.

Many Australians are ignorant of the fact that democracy is institutionalised in Indonesia and that poverty levels have dropped as per capita incomes have increased.

On the south side of the Arafura Sea, education levels in this area are certainly dropping. Mr Woolcott expressed his distress at the fact that the University of New South Wales had announced the previous week that it is cutting its Indonesian language program.

The cut is part of what Professor of Asian Law Tim Lindsey believes to be a larger trend: he predicts that Indonesian will cease to be taught at high school level by 2020.

The drop in education about Indonesia within Australia is certainly a distressing thing. As we enter the Asian Century it would surely be better to learn more about Indonesia, not less. After all, Australia and Indonesia have similar strategic concerns, namely the growth of China and the increase of terrorism.

As Mr Woolcott concluded, education levels on both sides of the Arafura Sea must be increased if relations between Australia and Indonesia are to improve. If the two governments are going to work more closely in the near future, the two societies need to clear up their misunderstandings. We must develop a greater appreciation for each other if Indonesia and Australia are truly to move forward into the Asian Century together.

Won’t Have a Bar 32 of It CAM WILSON

The popular Canberra nightspot, Bar 32, has announced they are shutting down at the end of this week. According to a statement on their website, Bar 32 will be closing its illustrious doors on 7th October after seven years of serving Canberra’s indie kids, goths and underagers.

The expiration of their lease over the Northbourne Avenue premises has been listed by Bar 32’s management, Dress to Express!, as the reason that they are ending operations. Bar 32’s closing bucks against the trend of a growing Civic nightlife, with popular establishments such as Honkeytonks and Playground opening over the last year.

Fans of the bar have taken to social media to express their dismay over the imminent closure. The bar’s Facebook page has been

flooded with sentimental messages: “don’t close. ever”, “I remeber [sic] some of my fondest clubbing moments at Bar 32”, and simply “:(“. The nostalgia was not unanimous, however, with one commenter calling the club “kind of dingy, with clientele to match”.

Bar 32, which touts itself as the “alternative, gay-friendly... indie club”, has long been a staple of Canberra’s club scene with its regular Thursday ‘REV’ nights popular with students It has also been subject to police scrutiny in the past; in 2009, a 13-year-old girl was found unconscious inside the club and in 2011, Bar 32 received a short suspension for violating conditions of their alcohol license.

The nightclub’s final night is on Sunday, 7th October, and features the all-female Canberra group, Lady Bones DJs.

Unis Face the Net SHAN VERNE LIEW

The University of Melbourne and University of Queensland have pledged to provide free online university subjects through Massive Open Online Course (MOOC) formats.

MOOCs are free and wholly online university-level subjects. Enrolment is open to everyone with an internet connection, but the units typically do not count towards obtaining a formal degree. Assessments are usually graded either automatically or through peer evaluation.

The University of Melbourne announced plans to offer approximately 10 subjects through Coursera by 2013, while the University of Queensland last week pledged to offer up to 12 subjects by 2014.

Universities in the United States offering MOOCs include Brown University, Duke, MIT, Princeton, Stanford, the University of Toronto, Harvard and Carnegie Mellon University, among others.

“The past year has seen an explosion in interest in online opportunities that will challenge traditional ways of delivering education,” Melbourne University acting Vice-Chancellor Margaret Sheil said, in a statement to The Conversation.

Participation from universities is heavily motivated by prestige considerations, Grattan Institute higher education program director Andrew Norton said to The Conversation.

“Melbourne has some outstanding courses that can make it on the world stage - but being in Australia, who would know? But if you put them on Coursera, people take them, talk about them, blog about them. Word gets out,” ANU physicist Craig Savage told The Australian.

“One effect of the MOOCs is likely to be to add prestige and fashionability to online education, quite independently of any

real quality changes,” Mr Norton added.

Questions about the future role of MOOCs still remain, however.

“There is an assumption you could offer an entire degree online, but a modern education still requires face-to-face experience and the challenge for all of us is to deliver a greater provision for students on campus,” ANU Vice-Chancellor Ian Young said to The Canberra Times.

Many are also uncertain about accreditation and how employers will value online education.

“In terms of our participation in MOOCs, we are essentially taking a watching brief. In my view, a MOOC does not provide someone with a Harvard degree and a lot of thinking around their use has to evolve,” Professor Young added.

“Are people going to be satisfied with a certificate of participation? This is a biggie.

Am I going to put long run effort into this if I go to an employer and get laughed out of the room?” Swinburne University Pro Vice-Chancellor of Learning Transformations Gilly Salmon said to The Conversation.

Others have expressed concern about the risk of plagiarism in online assessment, and the need for MOOC providers to spend more time focusing on effective teaching pedagogy.

Nevertheless, Coursera co-founder Daphne Koller said she believes MOOCs have the potential to increase universal access to education.

“Whether it’s Akash, who comes from a small town in India and would never have access in this case to a Stanford-quality course and would never be able to afford it. Or Jenny, who is a single mother of two and wants to hone her skills so that she can go back and complete her master’s degree,” she said in a speech last month.

COMMENT// 4

Don’t Feed the Trolls DERMOTT PLATTEN

A naïve portrait of the Virgin Mary studded with beaded elephant dung. A portrait of Jesus Christ encased in urine. A video of ants crawling over a crucifix. All these artistic works have created controversy over the past decade in the United States. Each of them yielded a predictable reaction from politicians and conservative religious leaders, but perhaps the most interesting came from Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League of America, quoted in The New York Times: “It would jump out at people if they had ants crawling all over the body of Muhammad.

Except they wouldn’t do it, of course, for obvious reasons.”

As the reaction to an anti-Islam film produced in the US, the depiction of Muhammad in a French satirical weekly, and countless similar events proved, the reasons are obvious. In some ways the issue serves as a mirror to people’s beliefs: atheists blame the nature of religion, some Christians blame the nature of Islam, while others blamed the positioning of Islam as the enemy of the West.

Personally, I believe this issue is one of shock: how do people react to shocking material? In the majority of cases, shock is expected and applauded. In viewing Andres Serrano’s Piss Christ, we undergo a contract with the artist – Serrano chooses a fairly soft target (whoever heard of Christians storming an embassy and murdering civilians over a depiction of their prophet?) and we comment on how challenging the work is, how it makes us think and how it challenges the Judeo-Christian orientation of our society.

I make no claims that Innocence of Muslims is art, but this is how people are reacting to it. By viewing it and becoming outraged or shocked (or by not viewing it but still being shocked), people have signed a contract with the film’s creators, and the message will profligate – this is art.

A similar case today is the claimed prevalence of trolls on the Internet, in particular on Twitter. Despite Twitter being used by less than 1% of the Australian population, various media outlets have signed the contract with the trolls, by reproducing poisonous tweets on newspaper pages – reaching 86% of Australians (according to a Newspaper Works survey). Perhaps it is an unfortunate fact of human nature that people feel good when they are shocked.

In some ways, Innocence of Muslims is restoring the balance. As a Christian, I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling a little upset when people share blatantly anti-Christian content over social media without any complaints from others. However, I do not feel the need to engage in violence or chest beating. Perhaps the best way to achieve tolerance for my beliefs is simply to practise them. Christianity teaches us to “turn the other cheek” whereas Allah says in the Qur’an, “my mercy overpowers my wrath”.

Solving shock is easy – ignore the shock.

I cannot imagine French satirical magazines are particularly popular in the Middle East or even Australia. Perhaps most importantly – don’t pass on the shock. I feel people gain pleasure from referring friends to shocking things (Senator Cory Bernardi’s commentary on bestiality was a recent Facebook favourite). All this does is feed the trolls.

The Contests of Nationalism

AKSHATH KALE

Pundits have predicted that the Senkaku Islands dispute between Japan and China could lead to anything from a third SinoJapanese War to the full-scale devolution of economic prosperity in the Asia-Pacific.

Unlike the recent standoff between China and the Philippines over the Scarborough Shoal earlier this year, the Senkaku Islands have not yet attracted any serious military exchanges.

It is in neither state’s economic interests to stall on existing bilateral agreements, despite popular protests in China and Japan. European demand for Chinese exports has slumped together with Japan’s generally ambivalent economy. Yet claims and counter claims need to be expressed without upsetting the balance. Enter nationalism.

The People’s Republic of China’s position in world affairs since the 1990s, has been an exercise in assertiveness, a serious regard for its sovereignty, together with meteoric economic growth. The Senkaku Islands dispute reflects to the most overt expression of this, particularly in light of the protesters who destroyed Japanese in Xi’an. Beijing acquiesces in these displays of popular protest, and this is not a new phenomenon.

In 2005 anti-Japan protests swept across China and South Korea, after the publication of a Japanese history textbook that commemorated aspects of Japan’s imperial past.

Protests were similar to the scenes in China

today. No one can predicate how these protests will be handled, but it is safe to say that Beijing once again acquiesced to make a point. The dynamics of nationalism in Japan are far from similar but do give an interesting insight.

Anti-Chinese nationalism in Japan is understood within the contours of the historical scars left over from the Treaty of Shimonoseki, the Second World War and the Cold War. Calls reverberate at the highest levels of Japan’s polity for an ardent assertion of Japan’s purchase of the islands.

Some members of the Japanese Right, including former Prime Minister and newly elected leader of the main opposition party, Shinzo Abe, have even criticised Japan’s longstanding pacifism. Article 9 of the Japanese Constitution limits the Japanese Self-Defence Force and renounces any use of force internationally. This is the source of derision amongst many popular and political nationalists.

Prime Minister Noda has stated that Japan’s purchase of the islands warrants no compromise, stating that it was simply a domestic transfer of property.

The Senkaku/Diaoyu islands dispute cuts to the very heart of the larger Sino-Japanese relationship, and the resulting expressions of nationalism reflect mutually shared derision.

It will be interesting to see where this line of reasoning will go when the eventual summitry between Beijing and Tokyo takes place.

Oktoberfest Not Just About Beer DALLAS PROCTOR

As Woroni goes to print, a literal truckload of beer is being unloaded into the Union’s cool rooms. The steins are on the way, and we’ve heard rumours that Fyshwick’s out of lederhosen. Oktoberfest has become ANU’s favourite social event, ironically run by ANU’s least-favourite student organisation.

Importantly though, Oktoberfest shows us that the Union can do things brilliantly given the right circumstances. On 11th October, the Union is hosting an Ordinary General Meeting (OGM) to consider the first changes to the constitution in over 20 years. These will make elections fairer, make us more accountable to students, and begin the forging of strong ties with the ANU Students’ Association and the Postgraduate and Research Students’ Association.

Deserved or not, the reputation of the Union has been sinking at a titanic rate in recent

years. Whether it’s the timeworn building, the pizza at Cucina de Pasta, or an apparent lack of Board transparency, everyone on campus seems to have some kind of gripe.

But what about the wider picture? It’s easy to whinge about problems, especially if they seem easy to fix. Unfortunately, and without sounding defeatist, there are factors at play that might serve as roadblocks to real change.

The building is a good example. Huge underutilised commercial kitchens, a leaking roof with a replacement price tag of $450,000, and the 1970s brutalist architecture don’t help. While we don’t pay rent, we certainly pay for capital maintenance, which costs over $500,000 a year. This equates to roughly 10 per cent of revenues, exceeding the 8 per cent figure that tells you a business might be in trouble. No one really knows who’s ultimately responsible for the building upkeep, which is something we’ll be following up on.

Equally, we’ve also got some great strengths.

Our underpinning structure is rock solid – as students, we know what students want better than any private business. We know you’ll love the price-cut to beer, and the introduction of sangria and Pimm’s. In 2013 you can also expect delicious burgers at the bar, a student-run international canteen and a revamped Clubs and Societies Ballroom with spirits in every drinks package.

So, when you’re at Oktoberfest next month, give a thought to the organisation behind the event. Don’t forget that we’re here solely to serve you, and we’re always keen to hear what you’ve got to say. Unsurprisingly, considering our antiquated Constitution, we need 100 members at our OGM. So, in getting the Oktoberfest spirit flowing early, we encourage every student to get in on a generous bar tab and delicious free food.

Dallas Proctor is a member of the ANU Union Board.

COMMENT//5

Just Ignore Extremists like Pocock GARY LOHMANN

Illustrations // Hannah Winter-Dewhirst

Online Laws Just Trolling for More Trouble SAM UNDERHILL

Rugby league player Robbie Farah’s mother passed away in June from pancreatic cancer.

British diver Tom Daley’s father died in similarly terrible circumstances last year. What brought these two together was not their athletic professions and comparable family tragedies but the fact they were both later trolled on Twitter about the deaths. And in both cases, the ugly head of potential criminal prosecutions surfaced.

Daley’s verbal tormentor, a 17-year-old boy, was arrested for his comments in England, where laws regulating online behaviour are far more stringent. The identity of Farah’s bully is murkier, but the State of Origin player is vehement in his belief that stronger laws should further criminalise trolling in Australia. This is despite his own pot-callingthe-kettle-black “noose” tweet attacking Julia Gillard. Though it is currently an offence to harass or menace using a carriage service, police have been understandably guarded in acting upon such legislation. Even on a daily basis, the potential prosecutions would be limitless.

Joining the fray is perennial Twitter target Charlotte Dawson, host of Australia’s Next Top Model, whose “plight” combined a hypocritical 60 Minutes public relations campaign with a willingness to use almost any insult to unleash her own bullying tactics. Even if we disregard the overt double standards, the path to (over)criminalising online trolling is

a slippery one fraught with danger.

Regardless, stringent social media laws already lord themselves throughout segments of the online world. Most famously, Welsh student Liam Stacey’s racist tweet about Fabrice Muamba netted him a 56-day jail sentence. Providing some perspective, many active participants in the 2011 London riots copped less severe punishments. A new breed of court cases, particularly in the UK, focus on prosecuting individuals for insults of a kind regularly heard and even tolerated around licensed venues, public transportation and street corners.

A major difficulty with stronger legislation for Internet trolling is the sheer subjectivity as to whether and how someone is insulted.

Words like slut, bastard, dickhead and the c-word are all offensive yet represent simply a fraction of the options for attacking someone. To create an arbitrary distinction based on a family death, race or religion is illogical.

So too is one centred on whether the comments were made online as opposed to outside cyberspace, where the impact is usually more personal. The internet allows greater publicity for an abhorrent comment, but one uttered in the workplace, for example, where people actually know each other, can be even more detrimental. Additionally, Farah’s situation only became well-known after Farah himself retweeted the verbal barrage to his nearly 30,000 followers.

Moreover, what about insults to someone’s appearance? Taunting someone who is either

overweight or outside conventional standards of beauty can be just as, if not more, hurtful to an individual as a vindictive family, racial or religious swipe. So can comments regarding disability, socio-economic or educational status or other perceived vulnerabilities. Australia’s police numbers would need to triple or perhaps quadruple just to keep track of the constant stream of online vitriol. Because this increase is impossible, the consequence would be inconsistently laid charges, often determined by whether the victim was famous enough to generate substantial attention to their situation, or if the abuse fell into selective categories of political incorrectness —hardly an ideal situation for a society claiming equality and fairness under the law.

In these debates, we also conveniently gloss over the minimal legal sanctions meted out for actual violence. The handiwork of Nick D’Arcy and other thugs require their victims to have titanium screws inserted in their skulls for life, but they escape with suspended sentences, while online trolls will risk actual incarceration under proposed changes to social media laws.

I am against laws targeting this online behaviour, however reprehensible it may be.

Even if I were for them, they would need to be applied evenly. As this is fantastical, the only reasonable solution is to attract media attention to the issue and encouraging social networks to police their own websites more vigorously. In an already litigious society, troll court cases is the last thing we need.

Recently making news has been a candidate for the ACT Legislative Assembly, Philip Pocock, an outlier in social beliefs. Responding to a questionnaire sent by the local archdiocese of the Catholic Church, he now famously stated that . . . Well, there’s no point in publishing it. Anybody who would have been interested has probably already seen it shared on Facebook or by local news websites.

These posts predictably attracted comments condemning the attitude and warning people to pay attention to who they voted for.

A lot of people questioned his status as a practising psychologist (yet to be confirmed), but most provided a simple answer for his views: religion. I have seen comments that state his beliefs are merely the beliefs of most Catholics or Christians (people have a tendency to group all believers together for convenience).

Perhaps it is the conception that people have of organised religion. It is easy to believe that most religions have a set list of beliefs, and require all members to subscribe to them, but this has never been the case.

Despite the best efforts of the early Christian Church, nobody has ever formed a coherent view of our existence that has been acceptable to any more than a small fraction of the Christian people. The first thousand years of church history is one of argument, rebuttal and heresy. Various groups that disagreed on core teachings either existed in the same church, agreeing to disagree (the Orthodox Church is especially good at this), or split to form new churches.

It is for this reason I believe it is unfair to group Pocock’s beliefs with the majority of Christians.

I am a Christian, part of that vast majority that only attends mass intermittently, and that chooses to view scripture as a product of the time it was written, rather than as a universal, unchanging document for all time.

When one reviews the core message of Christianity, it is generally not about small details, but mostly about love. Love for one another and love for God. It is hard to reconcile this encompassing message with seemingly irrelevant details about who you choose to love, or what consenting adults might get up to in the privacy of their bedrooms.

Certainly the Catholic Church does not have a pleasant history of acceptance and love itself, perhaps accounting for falling attendance at organised services.

But the Church is not religion itself. Despite their frantic urge to prove lineage from Peter with direction from God, it is clearly a worldly construct, and one that we can ignore if we choose.

Coming back to the question at hand, it is clear that Pocock’s message is not one of love. He clearly has no regard and love for a section of society, and would like to see that most secular of all enterprises, the law, regulate the domain of love.

It’s blatantly ridiculous. Is it worth discussing? Of course not. By spreading his message through social media and news media, we are not rejecting his message outright, but saying “I’m afraid of this message”. I believe people should save their voices for the ballot box, where it is clear he will be wiped out.

COMMENT// 6

Alan Jones mentions Gallipoli and the world keeps spinning ON THE HILL

JOSHUA DABELSTEIN

In Defence of Wikipedia

TRUDY MCINTOSH

Wikipedia – we have all heard of it and no doubt as students we have all used it at one stage or another. Hell, I even used it to research this article. This ridiculously large fountain of knowledge is written by anonymous volunteers who find pleasure in editing, writing and deleting information on almost every topic imaginable.The site hosts over 23 million articles in over 285 languages. Surprisingly, only 4 million of them are in English.

The first half of the name derives from the Hawaiian word wiki meaning quick, and it sure lives up to its name. The site has become the one-stop-shop for any facts you want to know, with an estimated 2.7 billion monthly pageviews in the US alone.

This is despite most teachers bemoaning it as a resource. The standard anecdote given by lecturers in the obligatory “How to reference” chat concerns the student who put Wikipedia as a source on their bibliography.

But this is no laughing matter. That student who sources Wikipedia is just doing what the rest of us are too ashamed to do – be honest. Whether we choose to disclose it or not, there is little doubt that the other 99 percent of us students will have read the relevant Wikipedia entry and used its information as the basis of our research. And why not?

In my eyes at least, Wikipedia can be a very useful and timesaving tool for research. Got an essay due on the French Revolution? Had no idea what the lecturer was going on about?

Why not read the Wikipedia entry, which is a lot simpler than trying to plough your way through a 300-page textbook.

The number one complaint hoisted at this magnificent resource is that it can be edited by anyone, leaving it open to vandalism. As former Encyclopædia Britannica editor-inchief Robert McHenry wrote: “the user who visits Wikipedia to learn about some subject,

to confirm some matter of fact, is rather in the position of a visitor to a public restroom.

It may be obviously dirty, so that he knows to exercise great care, or it may seem fairly clean, so that he may be lulled into a false sense of security. What he certainly does not know is who has used the facilities before him.”

While this may be true to a large extent, this doesn’t discount the positive aspects of Wikipedia. The site provides simple information about whatever the topic is and often gives links to where the information is sourced from. One would think Wikipedia would be a dotcom goliath to rival the likes of Apple and Facebook given its size and prominence.

But in fact the opposite is true.Wikipedia is a non-profit organisation with only a handful of employees. It is in fact a charity who works to provide a free source of knowledge to the world, or at least those with an internet connection.

Founder and creator Jimmy Wales in an interview with Stephen Fry outlined his vision for Wikipedia and the positive legacy he believed it would have.

Wales said, “I think when people look back on the early days on the internet, which this is still, 200 years from now, 500 years from now, they will say that was something good. There was spam and there was pop up ads and nonsense on the internet. But this is something we remember that was worth doing.”

Wales has a very optimistic view of his website. He is guided in a way by a romantic view of American values, such as freedom of speech, the ‘can-do’ spirit and the idea that ordinary people can come together and build something.

For its founders, and even mere students like me, Wikipedia can be something that is really special. An online encyclopaedia which provides free access to information on almost anything you want. Stop the snobbery and embrace Wikipedia.

The attention-deprived brown and stinking bubbles frothing back up through the drain that Alan Jones is supposed to have been circling since the Cronulla riots have again burst and belched as loud as ever, releasing more toxic gas into our already noxious media.

During a recent 58-minute speech at a Sydney University Liberal Club President’s dinner at the Rocks, Jones continued with his never-ending tirade against the prime minister. This time, he went all out, stating that John Gillard, the Prime Minister’s very proud and close father, “died a few weeks ago of shame”.

Should we really be surprised? We should be ashamed, ashamed that this guy is so influential in the Australian media, but not surprised.

After telling the Australian public earlier in the year that he would like to put Gillard “into a chaff bag and hoist her into the Tasman Sea,” that we should “bring back the guillotine,” to deal with her, and that across the country “women are wrecking the joint”, Jones is out proving himself just as offensive as ever.

He attributed Gillard’s emotional response to the news of her dead father, whom she publicly said she “will miss for the rest of my life”, were what promulgated a polling boost for her party.

The University of Sydney’s Young Liberals page tweeted the next day, “Brilliant speech

by Alan Jones last night. It’s no wonder he’s the nation’s most influential broadcaster!”

The dinner also featured an auction with items that included a jacket made of chaff bags autographed by Jones, an auction which he won but later said had not been his idea.

This is the same Alan Jones who incited violence on the day of the Cronulla riots, calling upon white Australia to ‘defend our beaches’. Yes, the same Alan Jones who was arrested for having oral sex with another gentleman in a public toilet in the UK (not that I am condemning this behaviour in itself). The same Alan Jones who has one of the highest listenerships on Sydney morning radio.

On Monday he held a press conference in which he apologised for repeating the statement regarding Gillard’s father, a statement which he’d apparently not coined himself but rather heard someone say at his godson’s birthday earlier that day, as well as divulging a litany of other mitigating circumstances.

He said that the comment was similar to “black-humoured comments” made in the trenches of Gallipoli. And he continued to peacock via subtext throughout the apology, showing his true colours with excuses like “It was a throw-away thing at a private function - I thought it was a private function.” “I spoke without notes for 58 minutes, I’ve no idea of the material I covered”.

He said he was only drinking water all night. I don’t know if that makes things better or worse…

“There are days when you just have to concede and man up and say ‘you got it wrong,’” Mr Jones told reporters at 2GB headquarters this morning.

“And on this instance these are remarks which I should not have repeated. It was wrong to offer any impression that I might seem to diminish the grief that a daughter would feel for her father. I was taught by my father that if you are going to eat crow you should eat it while it’s hot and therefore I felt this matter should be addressed today.”

Opposition leader Tony Abbott stated this morning that “Alan’s remarks regarding the PM were completely out of line… It’s good that he’s recognised this and apologised for them.”

Alan Jones is a journalist, and knows all too well that any publicity is good publicity.

Those who already hated him, now just hate him more. Those who were indifferent to his nonsense remain indifferent to his nonsense.

Those who want this government replaced will continue to listen to this hair-brained menace’s poisonous vitriol, and I can’t help but wonder if Jones is apologising for saying what he said, apologising for letting the crow go cold, or just apologising for being heard by the wrong pair of ears...

COMMENT//7

Farrago Ruffles the Hun’s Feathers ALEX O’SULLIVAN

It is likely that you have heard about a certain University of Melbourne student who interned with the Herald Sun and found the experience less than agreeable. Her report of the experience in Farrago, the University of Melbourne’s student newspaper, was widely publicised in national newspapers. She described her time at the “Hun” as “horrific” and said it made her reconsider her prospective journalism career.

Stepping back from the involved debate happening online at present over the student herself, let us look at her issues. We can separate them into the attitudes and beliefs of the staff of the Hun itself, and their behaviour to her. The student described their attitudes as transphobic, homophobic and sexist. These labels are currently deployed by many commentators in a somewhat loose way to com-

bat viewpoints that they disagree with. When the student described a journalist saying “Why are they [the gay community] making such a fuss? It’s been this way for millennia, why change now?”, she was not necessarily describing a homophobe – she described a social conservative. There are many people who might baulk at same-sex marriage but still be completing accepting of queer people.

But by grouping people who do not believe as she does as “homophobic”, she is able to create a quasi-objective way to denigrate them.

On the issue of sexism, the students claims she was subjected to “patronising attitudes” in being referred to as “little bud”, “champ” and “kidlet”. None of these terms are expressly gendered, and one assumes they were a reference to her status as an intern. To this day, it upsets me, a grown male of twenty-three years, when I am addressed as “champ” by a

shop assistant. It certainly doesn’t affect my day so much that I feel the need to vent in such a shrill manner. She goes on to claim that the men were “continually and unnecessarily sexist” by opening doors for her and inviting her to leave the lift first. Despite the oxymoron that is “unnecessary sexism”, the student must realise that people of a certain age were taught from an early age to be polite for women. My grandfather still opens doors for my grandmother, despite her objections.

Is it demeaning to women? Is it enforcing a patriarchal view of society? Perhaps, but it’s certainly not worth getting too upset about.

Perhaps the most obvious reaction is “what did you expect?”. If a left-leaning journalism student did an internship at the Australian Christian Lobby, what might ensue? The reactionary, tabloid, lowest-common-denominator leaning of the Hun is hardly a secret – in-

deed, it’s what keeps its circulation going. The problem with this student is that she thinks that she knows how the world should work. If people don’t conform to her expectations, it upsets her. Perhaps it is symptomatic of many starry-eyed university students, who believe that the people around them are simply too ignorant to know what is right and wrong. In a way, she is guilty of the same crimes as the Hun, by portraying the organisation as some sort of patriarchal monster with an aggressively conservative social agenda – much like the organisation portrays the marriage lobby and the climate lobby for instance.

In many ways, however, by airing her views in a student newspaper in a “you know what I’m talking about” kind of way, she is just enforcing stereotypical views for both conservatives and liberals. It might make an entertaining read, but does it change anything?

COMMENT// 8 IN THE LAB

ELEANOR CAMPBELL

Reading good

Whether you read for pleasure, or read because you’ll fail a course if you don’t, the act of analysing and interpreting text is good for your brain. It might not come as a surprise; advocates of book-learning have long asserted that reading makes you smarter. Now, though, there is some neuroscience to back up those claims.

When neuroscientists want to determine the effects of an activity on the brain, they

will make use of Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) machines. These large, electromagnetic donuts can detect and image the flow of blood through the brain. If a particular area of the brain ‘lights up’ on the MRI readout, it can be assumed that that area of the brain is being used in whatever activity the subject is participating in. Volunteers have done a vast array of things in MRI machines over the years, including improvising jazz, masturbating, performing simple mathematics, meditating, sleeping, and dreaming. A recent study at Stanford University has seen volunteers reading a chapter of Jane Austen’s Mansfield Park while having their brains monitored by an MRI machine.

In this experiment, participants were first required to read the text as they would if reading for pleasure. This ‘relaxed’ reading produced high levels of activity in areas of the brain associated with close concentration. Remarkably, when participants were asked to read analytically, as though studying for an exam on the material, brain activity ramped up another notch. Complex coordination of a number of cognitive functions was observed during this analytical reading,

but the pattern of blood flow differed from the ‘relaxed’ reading. Essentially, reading for leisure and reading for work give your brain two entirely different workouts.

Because these two different types of reading require such different cognitive func-

tions, this research has implications for our understanding of text comprehension skills.

It could also go some way to explain why reading for pleasure feels worlds apart from struggling through the last few chapters of your required reading.

Letter of the week Don’t Make Us All Foot the Bill[ Dear Editor, I am writing this letter due to the palpable rage I feel towards forced unionism. I am currently a final year PhD candidate. I am also a single mother who barely keeps it together to support my child on my scholarship, while studying full-time. $263 is not Each edition, the best letter to the editor will win a $25 voucher to eat and drink at a trivial amount of money for me and the option to defer payment does not simply Two Before Ten Roasters!

Send letters to contact@woroni.com.au negate the cost. I live interstate and employ zero of the services that forced unionism Socialism Can Be Done Right some universalistic ideology – Socialism, funds. Yet I still have to pay money for serHistory, or Society – it may seem curious vices I don’t employ and to support unionReply to Perlustrating Asservations: “Socialthat he was, and still remains, one of Russia’s ism, which I am politically, ideologically, ism just hasn’t been done right yet” by Jamie fundamentally opposed to. most celebrated socialists.

Freestone & Mathew McGann, No. 11 Vol. After reading about the alleged thefts The reason is that he, like many socialists, 64, September 5. of union funds and the report released by thought that – as ‘Perlustrating AsseveraANUSA on what they wasted my money tions’ put it – to the extent that socialism In The Rebel, Albert Camus poses the on, I am beyond enraged. If I am going to “had been done”, it “just hasn’t been done question of whether murder, in the context be forced to fund unionism, then I should right”. The socialist-capitalist divide – more of a socialist revolution or a rebellion more be able to dictate how MY money is spent. unfashionable today than ever – does not widely conceived, can ever be truly justiI would elect that my $263 goes towards have to be presented as an inexorable parafied. It was this same question – of whether better childcare as the ANU services are at dox; the choice between Sollen and Sein; ends can justify means – which has troubled overcapacity (my son was on the waiting list value and fact. Leszek Kolakowski, for inmany socialists. for at ANU since BEFORE birth, and nevstance, outlined this dichotomy, as well as None, I think, felt this paradox more keenly er got in to centre).

Instead, ANUSA, you the need to overcome it: than the Russian socialist, Alexander Herelected to blow my money on parties (for “The same question recurs repeatedly in zen. In his memoirs, he recalled a converdifferent versions: How can we prevent the sation with Louis Blanc, a French socialist alternatives of Sollen-Sein from becoming who argued that man must sacrifice himself Overcoming Great Adversatives polarisations of Utopianism-opportunism, for the greater good of society. romanticism-conservatism, purposeless ‘Why?’ I [Herzen] asked suddenly.

“Eclipse of the Sibling Order” by Gus Mcmadness versus collaboration with crime ‘How do you mean “Why?” [said Louis Cubbing, No.11 Vol 64, September 5. masquerading as sobriety? How can we Blanc] – but surely the whole purpose and avoid the fatal choice between the Scylla of mission of man is the well-being of sociWhile I don’t meant to make a mounduty, crying its arbitrary slogans, and the ety?’ tain out of a molehill and I’m actually just Charybdis of compliance with the existing ‘But it will never be attained if everyone whiling away the time, I feel that it must world, which transforms itself into voluntary makes sacrifices and nobody enjoys himbe pointed out that a certain editor of this approval of its most dreadful products? self.’ illustrious publication is leaning overly on To anyone who wishes to confront this ‘You are playing with words.’ the world whilst.

Although I don’t like to paradox without necessarily abandoning the ‘The muddle-headedness of a barbarian,’ I harp on about it, it’s just too much, and I’ve “asseverations” of socialism, may she or he replied, laughing. tried to restrain myself; to no avail.

It’s aplook no further than the works of Alexander So, given Herzen’s reluctance to accept that pearance three times in the space of several Herzen. anyone should be placed upon the altars of hundred words has me spooked, though apparently this can be put down to my AmeriAna Wisniewski. can background. The American Heritage Dictionary tells me that whilst is “chiefly

yourselves, I see) and the related expenses to fund your entire bloated enterprise. I am not saying that those parties shouldn’t be thrown: I just insist that the revellers, and not me (or my son), foot the bill.

I am just asking for something simple, right and fair. If you want a party, if you want a union, pay for it yourselves.

VSU was the radical notion that an individual could chose for themselves whether they wanted to support unions. It is political conscription to impose mandatory unionism on all students. I say that not because I am a single, white, wealthy male residing in my ivory tower and pouring scorn upon those student who do need extra services. I say that because you proven that forced unionism is wrong and wasteful.

So I am demanding from ANUSA that they send me $263 worth of food and entertainment via post (if you can take a break from embezzling funds, that is) or alternatively, acknowledge that you have robbed me of both my money and my democratic right to support whatever damn political persuasion I want.

Sincerely, A poor, pissed-off single mother.

Olivia Metcalf British.” Dictionary.com is in agreement, but also notes the presence of an “excrescent –t-.”

(That seems a bit harsh, though it is the internet…)

Whereas the case may seem hopeless, I prefer to remain optimistic. There may seem to be a dearth of alternatives, however, there are, in fact, many, most of which are to be found in this very letter. Next time the temptation arises to sound off like a cop on camera, let your wiles take over, and maybe even try “whiles.” According to the American Heritage, it’s an archaic form of the word meaning the same thing…

Jesse Rumsey-Merlan

9

Cartoon // The Onion : No One Murdered Because Of This Image, 2012

The Perfect Troll One crazy man, not a religion, caused Muslim riots, writes Joshua Dabelstein After protests began against the Islamophobic film, The Innocence of Muslims, on September 11, 2012, a man who identified himself as an Israeli Jew named “Sam Bacile” called the Associated Press and The Wall Street Journal claiming to have produced the movie and funded it with $5 million he collected from “100 Jewish friends”.

He is in fact an Egyptian-born US resident named Nakoula Basseley Nakoula, is not Jewish, but a Coptic Christian, and has been in and out of prison since the ‘90s.

Sounds like the beginnings of a notoriously successful troll if you ask me.

In 1997 Nakoula was charged with intent to produce methamphetamine. He’d also opened bank accounts using fake names and stolen Social Security numbers, including one belonging to a six year old boy. He was sentenced to 21 months in prison with a fiveyear probation period, and further ordered to pay almost $800,000 in restitution. After that particular conviction, he was barred from using computers or the Internet for five years without approval from his probation officer.

Nakoula began working on his magnum opus weeks after his release in 2011. Innocence of Muslims was designed to attract the lost yet ever zealous moths to his own blinding light of lunacy, and ironic though it is, Nakoula is the single most dangerous and tactful troll that the internet has disgraced our species with since Invisible Children.

When one sees the image of a small boy in Sydney’s CBD holding up a sign that says ‘BEHEAD ALL THOSE WHO INSULT THE

PROPHET’, it’s important to remember that this tiny, crazy section of the Australian Islamic population was deliberately provoked by an equally tiny and crazy entity. Nakoulabaited the loony end of organised religious lunacy with a very mundane and transparent hook, a depiction of their prophet, into reacting in a way that proves his extremely flawed world vision. The perfect irony.

Protestors clash with police all the time in this country: Occupy protesters in Sydney and Melbourne clashed with police earlier this year, and even more recently union protests in Melbourne resulted in police violence. It seems a bit unfair that the entire Islamic community be held responsible and asked to apologise for the actions of a few extremists.

Just because Australian Baptists share the same religion as Baptists in the USA, we don’t guilt trip ours into apologizing for certain Baptist churches who picket roadsides with signs that read “GOD HATES FAGS”, “FAGS DIE GOD LAUGHS”, and “THANK GOD FOR SEPT 11”. These signs go up on a weekly basis, often held by children, but I guess it’s a little less important to the main-

stream media when the culprits are white.

Did the Prime Minister, Opposition Leader, Foreign Minister, and NSW Premier weigh in on these other protests in media releases and in question time? Would the matter have been raised in Federal Parliament if the media and our politicians regarded these kinds of instances with the basic level of perspective in which they deserve? They are some of the highest-ranking victims of this ultimately fear-mongering troll.

Bob Carr was right when he said, “They seek to blame the US… for a lousy propaganda film, the work of a lone nutter… Frankly, if you believe in beheading, you’ll probably never be happy living in Australia.” What he was not right in doing was to entrench the us versus them mentality. The use of the word “they” to address the Islamic community, and Gillard’s labeling of the protestors as “un-Australian”, are not helpful.

Smells like Cronulla all over again…

As amusing as a good ol’ fashioned successful troll may be, this one resulted in violence and bloodshed. Socio-political commentators like Pat Condell have had a field

When one sees the image of a small boy in Sydney’s CBD holding up a sign that says ‘BEHEAD ALL THOSE WHO INSULT THE PROPHET’, it’s important to remember that this tiny, crazy section of the Australian Islamic population was deliberately provoked by an equally tiny and crazy entity.

day, playing into the troll’s intolerant hands with rambling YouTube diatribes addressing Muslims on behalf of the world’s bigot population with comments such as “Once again we see Islam self-detonate... and show once again why it’s about as welcome on this planet as an asteroid.”

White-people behind computer monitors make excuses for the violence at one end of the spectrum, blaming the eruption of violence in Sydney as a reaction to Australian military intervention in parts of the world we cant pronounce. At the other end, the likes of Pat Condell would contest that Islam is incompatible with Western “civilised” society, and that violence is an inevitable byproduct of multiculturalism.

To those of you who point at images of September 11 and say “look, they’re at it again!”, you’re missing the point. To lefty loony-sympathisers who say this is a reaction to our alliance with the US imperialist pigs, you too are missing the point.

While some members of the media and certain politicians call for government censorship of the media in order to target trolls who are mean to sportsmen on Twitter, they seem to have missed the troll that claimed the lives of almost 80 people worldwide. One lone nutter did this, not Islam.

One lone nutter trolled both sides of the global Islamophobia-concerned dialogue into hating each other just a little bit more.

Spotlight on China

Stuck in the Middle with You Brendan Forde examines the Senkaku Islands dispute

By far the most significant development in Chinese politics in recent weeks has been the surge in anti-Japanese nationalist fervour. Recently visiting a city in northern Hunan province, I witnessed the occasional irrational display of nationalist feeling that has broken out across the country. While the protests were not as violent as those seen in larger cities such as Beijing, the nationalist movement I witnessed was visible and largely organic with no signs that it had been organised by local authorities.

At the heart of the current upsurge in anti-Japanese sentiment is a dispute over the sovereignty of a small group of uninhabited islands north of Taiwan known as Diaoyu in Chinese and Senkaku in Japanese. While this is not the only territorial dispute in which China is currently embroiled (nor the most valuable claim) it is by far the most incendiary. China has a complicated relationship with Japan. While significant economic links exist between the two nations (Japan’s investment accounts for more than 20 per cent of foreign investment in China) memories of past atrocities, exacerbated by education and popular media, have contributed to a popular distrust of Japan within China. A perception exists that Japan has never fully atoned for war crimes in China, along with the fear that imperialist ambitions still lurk beneath the surface. When the Japanese government moved to acquire the islands from their private owners, public opinion in China was outraged.

From my vantage point nationalist mood was palpable. The crisis became a popular topic for conversation with the various elements of the dispute considered. The conclusion was always that Japan was to blame.

Signs and stickers, professionally made, appeared on the rear windows of cars, most carrying the motif of a Japanese flag with a black cross through it. With reports across China indicating that drivers of Japanese cars had become targets, many owners of Toyotas, Hondas and Mitsubishi models covered up indications of the origin of the vehicle. Those who didn’t tried to protect themselves in other ways including signs which read, “My car may be Japanese, but my heart is Chinese”. Local businesses followed suit displaying flags and banners, the rhetoric of which ranged from expressions of patriotism to calls for physical retaliation against Japan.

Many of the signs carrying defaced Japanese flags were displayed in stores. When I questioned them about where they obtained such signs, storekeepers responded that strangers had given them the signs asking them to display them. Eventually 70 per cent of businesses in the city displayed some sort physical support towards nationalist sentiment.

Attacks on Japanese actions quickly evolved to encompass criticisms of the Chi-

nese government. The central government was attacked for not doing enough to stand up to perceived Japanese aggression. One person, commenting on the disappearance of president-in-waiting Xi Jinping, told me that in a time of crisis it was irresponsible for figures in the central government to be less than visible. These sentiments rose to the surface when a group of retired soldiers of all ranks and ages rallied in one of the major squares in the city. Calling for stronger action on Japan they unfurled a banner reading: “If you, the government, do not make any moves, we will”. That evening reports circulated on Chinese social media calling on city residents to march to the same square in protest against Japan.

It is clear that in some cases regime authorities played an active role in organising antiJapanese demonstrations, although in the case I witnessed official permission to protest would have been needed. The nervousness of the government was brought home to me that morning. My accommodation overlooked a schoolyard which was full of police vehicles. Officers lined up in two columns and marched out to the street. Moving down to the square was difficult; traffic was at a standstill. The police presence was significant with riot police assembled across the road. Reports

Sino-Japanese relations may prove to be one of the great fault lines of the twenty-first century.

of the size of the protest varied but it probably ranged from 10,000 to 30,000 people. From a city of 600,000 people this figure was substantial. Apart from drivers of Japanese cars being berated, the march was peaceful with protestors carrying flags and banners, singing songswhile cars drove along side.

Days later with more protests planned to commemorate the anniversary of the Japanese annexation of Manchuria, party members and local civil servants told me that they were prohibited from participating in antiJapanese activities. This was a clear sign that the regime was concerned by the effect of organised anti-Japanese sentiment: the more the people called for action against Japan the less flexibility the government would have to deal with the crisis. The protests the next day were substantial, part of protests across the nation. There was a tangibly different sensibility with advertising handbills handed out as protestors marched by. The government action seemed to have had an effect, the visceral rhetoric died away.

Sino-Japanese relations may prove to be one of the great fault lines of the twenty-first century. The sentiments of many Chinese about Japan are deeply distrustful. The government may find it increasingly difficult to contain popular nationalism. The peaceful resolution of conflicts between Japan and China is in the world’s interest. Nationalism can be an ugly thing and a significant threat to the peace and stability of the region.

11

Asylum Seekers ‘Choose’ to Return Home: An Alternative Narrative

Asylum seekers opted to return to Sri Lanka because it was the lesser of two evils, argues Nishadh Rego Yesterday a friend of mine, a young, professional migrant, confronted me about the legitimacy of asylum seekers. He brought to my attention reports about the 18 Sri Lankan men who ‘chose’ to go back home instead of to the camps in Nauru. He concluded that if the men volunteered to go home, they must not have had a real fear of persecution, and indeed, must not be refugees.

Leading on from this argument, he went on to make a another claim.

He said something to the effect of, “this is the problem with these asylum seekers….imagine if we allow every poor person in India (read: economic migrant) to get on a boat and come here, there would be chaos.”

Why indeed, would someone fleeing persecution choose to return to the root of their fear if they were being offered, in Julie Bishop’s words, a “safe haven” in Nauru? It is a fair question.

Simple Answers The answer is not as clear-cut as many Australians, my friend included, make it out to be.

For these Australians, the sanctity of the nation-state in its current demographic, socio-economic, cultural and moral equilibrium cannot be compromised. Citizenship and its perks cannot be handed out on a platter to undeserving foreigners.

Thus, we must be inherently suspicious of asylum seekers because they could be trying to unjustly access these perks – to take advantage of the system. Logically, a genuine fear of persecution cannot be presumed, it must be proven. In this context, anyone who makes a conscious “choice” to return to place of persecution has to be an opportunist, or a cheat, or worse still, a terrorist, because there is clearly nothing “genuine” about their fear of persecution.

As mentioned, this embedded narrative of suspicion is far from uncommon. What drives its widespread proliferation is the fact that it is actively promulgated by self-interested politicians and an uncritical, parrot media.Richard Jackson, Director of the National Centre for Peace and Conflict Studies at the University of Otago, suggests, “for public officials, what could happen in future acts of terrorism now assumes greater significance than what has happened in past centuries of terrorist violence or what might, in all probability, happen.” The same logic applies to the question of the (terrorist) “asylum seeker”. For most people, the underlying fear of being overrun by an undesirable, culturally and socially foreign immigrant population, is at the very least, a recurring

thought. It is easy to forget that contempo- An Alternative Narrative rary Australia is a nation built by boat people, My alternative answer suggests that the 18 and that immigrants have played a long, and genuine asylum seekers who “chose” to reillustrious role in this country’s growth and turn to Sri Lanka over Nauru, only did so because they thought Sri Lanka to be the lesser development.

of two hells.

At the outset, this questions Julie Bishop’s assertion that Nauru is a “safe haven.” And there is evidence to illustrate that whilst Nauru may offer Tamils protection from the Sinhalese dominated Sri Lankan government, it throws up other, potentially more troubling dangers.

There is extensive research into the severely adverse mental and physical health consequences of indefinite detention, a condition which will be in effect on Nauru. Indeed, inmates have previously spent over three years on the island under John Howard’s Pacific Solution. What is more, the rudimentary conditions on the remote island, and the lack of any health or education services make Nauru close to uninhabitable.

If it can be argued that a detention centre in Nauru is an inhospitable environment for anyone to live in, it can certainly be argued that conditions in Sri Lanka may be more hospitable. This assertion questions the dominant understanding and application of the term “persecution”. Can persecution only amount to an immediate threat to one’s life through torture, execution or mass killing? Indeed, this is the definition applied when supporters of dominant narratives argue that it is ludicrous for a “real” asylum seeker to choose to return to the root of persecution. What if the definition of persecution was broadened to include generalised, less severe forms of harassment, mistreatment and abuse of the minority Tamils, as is currently the case in Sri Lanka? This kind of abuse or harassment might include housing Tamils in detention camps for security purposes, restricting mobility, and obstructing the right to education, healthcare, and access to basic government services. This is also persecution. It is also arguably less severe than living indefinitely on a remote, foreign island without family and devoid of access to these services anyway.

Hence the choice to return.

Lastly, the oft-repeated assertion that boat journeys are highly dangerous and extremely expensive suggests that only the most desperate people, not economic migrants, or scheming opportunists, would undertake such a journey.

It is possible to construct an answer to the question of why an asylum seeker might “choose” to return to their place of persecution without calling into question the legitimacy of their asylum claim. It is important for us to understand that these narratives exist, and that they lie buried beneath other subjective but overwhelmingly dominant perspectives.

12

Young Minds and Big Ideas Andrew Oldfield hits up the National Student Leadership Forum

“Talent and discipline will determine how fast you go, but your faith and values will determine the direction.” That was the key message from the fourteenth annual National Student Leadership Forum (NSLF) on Faith and Values, held in Canberra between 20th and 23rd September. This writer was sponsored by the ANU to attend and found it to be one of the most interesting and stimulating weekends of his five years at the ANU. The enthusiastic discussion about faith and values at the NSLF is a marked contrast with the absence of these concepts from normal Australian discourse. Volunteering is cool, especially overseas in an exotic location, but we do not talk often about why it is good.

In contrast, the Prime Minister, the Leader of the Opposition, the head of the ABC and others at the NSLF all spoke about how critical your faith and values are to your conduct and decision making.

Chief of the Australian Defence Force General David Hurley and NSW Police Commissioner Andrew Scipione were particularly inspiring. These men are high performers and examples of integrity, but they are not

self-promoters. Equally engaging was Lynne Sawyers, who with her husband has fostered over 200 children in the past 15 years. Or Jon Owen, who with his wife and three daughters has committed to live in the poorest parts of western Sydney on the median local income in order to serve their poor neighbours.

The speakers at the NSLF were all examples of how to live a life at a high level that, through service to humanity, has a depth of purpose. Their example was also convicting because of their normalcy.

No doubt we all know people with greater raw intelligence or natural talent at ANU but the speakers were inspirational not because of what they had been born with, but because they decided to serve.

The bipartisan character of the NSLF also provided a touching insight into the pres-

sures of parliament. Members of Parliament were effusive in their expressions of respect for the faith and values of their opposition, and their relief at being able to operate amicably together in the group sessions was palpable. Each NSLF small group was also privileged to meet for an hour with an individual politician in their office.

The decline of cynicism among delegates was a testament to the character we saw in the MPs we met.

The small groups were at the heart of the NSLF. It was there that the lessons of each day were discussed. It was also where each person was encouraged to be vulnerable, and discuss the fundamental beliefs and values of their lives. It was an honour to be trusted so deeply by relative strangers and amazingly refreshing to think deeply about what I believed and why. The NSLF was

The enthusiastic discussion about faith and values at the NSLF is a marked contrast with the absence of these concepts from normal Australian discourse.

the only secular environment in which I have ever talked truly reflectively about the ‘why?’ of life.

It is perhaps unsurprising that the NSLF addresses a massive cultural blind spot. At university we are mostly young, independent, and think perhaps three years ahead to an uncertain thing called “work” or “career”.

Though we may sometimes think about our values ourselves, we never talk about them, and mostly seem to do what we feel is right, instead of examining why it is so. The NSLF has convinced me that there is a better way,that we ought to talk publicly about the big questions of the present and future.

The only way to conclude this article is with the last questions delegates were asked before leaving. “Before you get up, you need to ask yourself what are the fundamental things you place value on, and propositions you hold to be true. These are the things that determine the direction of your life, and that is important. If you don’t know them, then where the hell are you going? And how do you know you will like it when you get there?”

It is what it is (what is left of you) In its vial hidden away I still smell your perfume sometimes in quiet confines; opening the glass encasement It is what it is (what is left of you) I fell to the ground sinking listening to your voice on the phone, that time for the last time My pack of playing cards resting on your pack of morphine Keeping you company watching your translucent hands, blue veined grasping mine for the last time.

You held out your weepy smile to me and I turned it to a frown; Fragments are all I have of you, A diamond ring, some knitted thing and the funeral programme Wishing I was on the cover in your place Recollections are the bitter dregs of bits of things left in the drain of the sink-I scrape the tarnished metal, blindly walk to the bin throwing away my tattered heart in pieces With all the other unwanted things.

(Garbage man, garbage man, come to take this away-may I ride with you awhile?

And watch you work Take the things we all don’t want come take them away) Death was a dragon for you, a beast that chased you until breathless and you knew it was behind you it always would be and you kept running even though in the end it would get you anyway.

But then you glanced behind realising that the dragon could be the best thing, ever.

I don’t blow dandelion petals to the wind anymore or breathe loose eyelashes from the palm of my hand For things happened as I know they would happen.

It is what it is (what is left of you)

- AMANDA TAPLIN

Art & Culture

LIFE & STYLE// 14

WORONI COMMUNITY NOTICEBOARD MANAGING THE WORLD’S MOST PRECIOUS RESOURCE: AUSTRALIA’S LEADERSHIP IN CREATING A NEW DISCIPLINE WHEN: 6-7pm, Tuesday 9 October WHERE: Haydon Allen Lecture Theatre, The Tank, Copland Courtyard, ANU Professor Jayne Godfrey explores the development of a new discipline: water accounting, and its significance to public policy, water management and world peace.

EFFECTIVENESS OF CARE OF PATIENTS AND POPULATIONS: EXPLORING THE DETERMINANTS OF THE PARADOX OF PRIMARY CARE WHEN: 5-6pm, Tuesday 9 October WHERE: The Finkel Lecture Theatre, The John Curtin School of Medical Research, Garran Road, ANU Based on an unsystematic analysis of 25 years research, Professor Chris van Weel explores possible mechanisms for determining the effectiveness of primary health care.

INTERNSHIPS PROGRAM INFORMATION SESSION WHEN: 4.30-5.30pm, Thursday 4 October WHERE: Theatre 4, Manning Clark Centre, Union Court, ANU An information session hosted by the Australian National Internships Program for those interested in finding out more about developing their academic and career skills through a professional experience in a workplace.

THE CHANGING FACE OF THE HIMALAYAS: FINDING OPPORTUNITIES AMIDST UNCERTAINTIES WHEN: 12-1pm, Friday 5 October WHERE: Hedley Bull Lecture Theatre 1, Building 130, corner Liversidge Street and Garran Road, ANU r David Molden discusses the challenges and opportunities that climate change presents to the Himalayan region.

GOUGH WHITLAM: HIS TIME BY JENNY HOCKING WHEN: 6-7pm, Wednesday 3 October WHERE: Haydon Allen Lecture Theatre, The Tank, Copland Courtyard, ANU Professor Jenny Hocking presents the much anticipated second and concluding volume of her Gough Whitlam biography, Gough Whitlam: His Time.

RHYTHM AND BLOOMS: MILES O’CONNELL QUARTET WHEN: 12.30-2pm, Wednesday 3 October WHERE: Stage 88, Commonwealth Park, Parkes, ACT Sit amongst the spring blooms and be entertained by the ANU School of Music’s Jazz Department.

Got something you want to tell people about? get your event on OUR noticeboard by sending a short spiel to contact@woroni.com.au

Want to be a part of Woroni?

Nominations for the position of Editor are now open

The primary responsibility of the editors is to oversee production of Woroni, ANU’s official student newspaper; weekly broadcasts of Woroni Radio; and to manage the affairs of ANU Student Media.

Nominations must include: 1. Your name; 2. Your student number; 3. Your year of study; 4. One example of written, videographic, photographic or multi-media work which is the original work of the nominee; and 5. A short biography including why you are interested in editing Woroni (no more than 200 words).

Three valid submissions over two weeks and one day prior to the call for elections are required.

Send all nominations to and any queries regarding the election process to elections@woroni.com.au by Friday 5th October, 2012. Nominations close at 5pm.

LIFE & STYLE// 15

Women Are More Than Sexual Objects. Discuss.

SAMANTHA BRADLEY

Several weeks ago, whilst in the Honkeytonks ladies’ room, a tall, only slightly intoxicated blonde struck up a conversation with me. The topic of the conversation?

Her Brazilian wax. See, the lady in question was frustrated that she kept her – ahhemm – ‘ladygarden’ in tiptop hairless condition, yet had not had sex in months. “It is SUCH a waste!” she declared. She then felt the need to elaborate (because obviously I was standing there with a look on my face that screamed “Oh please tell me about your pubic hair grooming habits I am utterly intrigued!”) so she went on to inform me “I do it for myself. It’s cleaner, smoother… It’s empowering!” At this point I escaped because I had better places to be, and the lady in question no doubt headed to Academy or Moose…. But really sweetie? Empowering?

This is not the first time I have heard the waxing is empowering/I do it for myself argument. Perhaps on occasion I have even been tempted to make it myself. Here’s the thing though. Friends, co-workers, random females in bar toilets, listen up I am talking to you. Every time you try and tell me that you’re hairless down there for yourself and

that it is “empowering”, I want to slap you.

I’m not trying to say that it is disempowering, or that you shouldn’t be able to do whatever the f*** you want with your own private parts. Because seriously, wax, shave or laser away. Just please don’t inflict your unfounded rationalisations about why you do it on me. Thankyou.

Why do we spend so much time and money ensuring that for the most part completely unseen parts of our bodies are hairless? Because we think-and often rightly sothat it is what guys prefer.

Furthermore, within the framework this ongoing perception of male preference has created, pubic hair removal has become normalised to the point of leg shaving and make-up wearing. In visiting the salon every six weeks or so we are simply adhering to societal and generational expectations of how we should look and of what grooming practices we should undertake.

What perplexes me is whether this particular phenomenon is reflective of broader social trends. These entail women being pressured

to adhere to emerging norms of a specific type of beauty; norms constructed within a society that is still, even in 2012, fundamentally patriarchal. The rapid growth of the weight loss industry, fashion trends with a “less is more” emphasis, and particularly the glass ceiling are all testament to this.

In a time and space where we can vote, obtain a tertiary education, and viably support ourselves economically, a woman’s worth is still somewhat synonymous with her appearance.

Look to the tabloids where independent, intelligent and powerful women are constantly critiqued over their looks; their accomplishments and duties often being seen as entirely periphery to their haircut and weight (see Julia Gillard and Hillary Clinton). The media are not to blame here, given that they simply produce material they know will sell; they only write the stories we want to read.

Contemporary pressures to look and act

Why do we spend so much time and money ensuring that for the most part completely unseen parts of our bodies are hairless?

in certain ways lead women to undergo expensive and invasive surgical procedures, and to severely compromise their health by going on dangerous diet and exercise regimes. Eating disorders and other mental health disorders are increasingly common.

Every year, women individually spend thousands on cosmetics and our wardrobes.

Perhaps we will be pushed backwards to a point where women adhere to these pressures to a point where we are little more than modern materialisations of male desire; dressing, acting, and grooming ourselves in ways our patriarchal society deems appropriate.

The Brazilian Wax only emerged in Western society in the 1980s after the porn industry made a blanket decision to go hairless to improve lighting. As there is a perception amongst many women, which is not completely unfounded, that what happens in pornography is essentially what menfolk desire in the bedroom, following suit with hair removal practices was a natural and predictable occurrence.

So, next time you visit Brazilian Butterfly, why not ask yourself a particularly hairy question. Who and what exactly are you there for?

LIFE & STYLE// 16 THE SEVEN SEAS

Going Coastal KIERAN PENDER

Staring at the icy and imposing Atlantic waves roll into the jagged rocks, it is probably natural to be somewhat nervous, or at the very least apprehensive. And gazing across the beach while guiltily devouring the warmth of a takeaway hot chocolate, it slowly dawned upon me that I would soon be thrown head first into the wind and waves of this rugged coastline.

On a jagged outcrop of the Pembrokeshire National Park in Wales, nine courageous individuals and I were about to go coasteering – essentially a combination of swimming, climbing and jumping off cliffs.

Wrapping ourselves in layer after layer of neoprene, a wetsuit, gloves, socks and beanie, before adding a life jacket and helmet, it was time to get serious.

And with a quick safety briefing concluded, we were ready to hit the waves.

Experiencing the sea’s raw energy for the first time in such a situation, the words of our enthusiastic guide rang out pertinently.

“When you approach the rocks, remember to go feet first! Your legs have much more capacity to cope with a collision then your head.”

Indeed. After exploring the coastline for slightly under an hour, we headed for a spot named the ‘Washing Machine.’ What looked like a simple rocky inlet suddenly became a mess of flailing limbs as the waves surged through, tossing around anyone silly enough to remain there in a blur of spray.

Having conquered the waves and for the most part emerged intact, it was time to face another common fear – height. Precariously climbing up the cliff face, we reached a small ledge facing the sea. Without looking down we pushed ourselves away from the rocks and plunged into the chilly depths.

For the final act, we swam into a nowsubmerged slate quarry, where the Red Bull Free Diving championship had taken place only days earlier. Slightly daunted by the diving platform suspended 30 metres above the water, we were considerably relieved to hear the professional equipment would not be featuring in our dives.

Instead we entertained ourselves running down a diagonal rock face as our guides prepared for the concluding dives from a thirteen metre high sheer cliff. With preliminary pin drop jumps done, the more adventurous proceeded to try front flips and other such shenanigans. Several face plants later however and we were forced to haul ourselves from the wet and let the adrenaline subside.

With more hot chocolate and a long bus ride home beckoning, we shed our neoprene layers and reflected on an incredible two hours.

“Did that really just happen?” And, “when can I get back in?”

Canberra feels the heat of Oh Mercy’s performance

Photo //Ross Caldwell

Gus McCubbing catches up with Oh Mercy frontman, Alexander Gow.

As my ability to converse with other humans was significantly hampered by a splitting self- inflicted headache and a dodgy phone connection, the opening moments of my interview with Alexander Gow were painfully rigid alas, I eventually had a good chat with Gow about his band’s new album and recent tour of America as well as his own unconventionally old school taste in music.

Building on the successes of their second album, Great Barrier Grief , Oh Mercy released their third album, Deep Heat, on August 24. The Melbourne band’s new album was recorded in America with Burke Reid, a Canadian/Australian musician and producer who has previously worked with other Aussie bands The Drones and Jack Ladder.

“We recorded this particular record in Portland, Oregon, because we were touring in America prior to that and ended up on the West Coast,’ said Gow. ‘We had some friends there who had part-owned studios so we just went there and just flew Burke in.”

While all of Deep Heat’s songs were written back home, the tour of America had a significant impact upon the actual recording of the album. As Gow put it, the ‘enormity’ of America made him think about the insignificance of both his music and himself: ‘So with that in mind I felt really liberated in the studio’. Gow added that the experience of travelling through the United States provided him with a “comforting understanding” and recalls a “carelessness of the recording”.

When asked how Deep Heat differs from the previous album, Gow pointed to what he regarded as a more holistic approach to his song writing. “The last two albums were recorded with the idea that you write songs for an acoustic guitar and then put a band behind it and that’s just how music sounds,” he said. “But for this record I wanted it to be a

different experience for me and for the listeners so I just decided I would subtract all the rhythm guitar playing and most of the guitar full stop and have a groove based album… chord changes…and just let the rhythm section drive the songs along, so that was a fundamental difference to the previous record.”

Gow said he also changed tack slightly in

I don’t believe that being earnest is important when you’re a writer,” responded Gow. “Shakespeare didn’t have to be a king to write Hamlet, you don’t have to have experienced things to write about them. his formulation of the lyrics themselves. “I wrote in third person which I’d never done before,” he explained. “All previous records had been autobiographical. Writing fictionally was really interesting for me as it made song writing a lot easier as I had a wider palate of concepts and vocabulary to choose from and I ‘kinda had more tricks up my sleeve.”

So did this approach sacrifice authenticity in his lyrics?

“I don’t believe that being earnest is important when you’re a writer,” responded Gow. “Shakespeare didn’t have to be a king to write Hamlet, you don’t have to have experienced

things to write about them. So I think I completely abandoned that idea of sincerity and earnestness and kind of went for a slightly tongue-in-cheek and kind of evil writing approach.”

Enthused by the refreshing originality of Oh Mercy’s pop sound, I pressed Gow for his musical influences. Surprisingly for a twentythree- year old, the singer listed Burt Bacharach and Nancy Sinatra as his two favourites.

Gow then lamented the current state of pop music, which he claimed used to be a highly respectable genre but has now become cheap.

It is hard to disagree with him if Justin Bieber represents the modern personification of pop music, rather than Burt Bacharach.

Given his young age, Gow’s musical proficiency is staggering and perhaps one to be put down to an ambition held since childhood.

“I first wanted to become a musician after watching Prince’s Cream video when I was like ten or something,” Gow confided. “I saw the video on the telly, and I saw him dancing with all these beautiful women and I thought that that was something that I wanted.”

Finding this hilariously visionary for a ten year old, I then asked Gow if there was a moment when this quixotic dream began to materialise. He said he realised he could make it in the music industry when he “started listening to Bob Dylan and realised that he was playing different combinations of the same four chords over and over and that I didn’t have to be very proficient at the guitar, which I wasn’t”.

Deep Heat might not be quite intense enough to compel me to dance on my bed with my hockey stick-cum-guitar, but it is does have a distinctive swagger to it and is immensely catchy from the first listen.

Oh Mercy played at ANU Bar on Friday September 28.

All that lives must die, passing through nature to eternity H.B. LIONHEART My grandmother is dying. She has been for the past five months or so. I’m unsure whether she knows, doesn’t want to know, or her mind is so scrambled by dementia that it makes no difference.

I’ve seen death before. My grandfather died of a heart attack when I was eleven. I saw his body and patted his cold head but I don’t think I knew what it meant. All I knew was that my best friend was gone, but I wasn’t sure where.

We’ve had pets that have died, but dad dealt with them. He took them to the vet, he brought home the empty carry case and he had to explain to us where Sooty, Sonny, Harley and the rats had all gone.

In Year 6 we watched “The Human Body”, a documentary series that ended with an old man dying in the arms of his loved ones. For kids who ran around at lunch playing soc-

cer or gossiping with their friends about who liked who, the old man just went to sleep and never woke up.

I’ve watched JFK die over and over again.

I’ve seen the World Trade Centre collapse a hundred times and everyday I hear about people dying on the news. But I don’t think I understand death yet.

I don’t think I understand death and I believe that is the case for a great many others of my generation. Death isn’t talked about – at school, at home or with friends.

It’s a tricky topic. No-one wants to live their life in fear. Of course the innocence of childhood shouldn’t be taken away and you should be free to enjoy the feeling of immortality that being a teenager brings. Death, however, is a fundamental part of life and we should deal with it.

When I think back to high school, I remember all the excruciating lessons in the health room and the science lab, learning

about puberty, sex, childbirth and STIs. It was all about life. It was about the parts of life that most of us would experience. The thing it didn’t deal with was the part we’re all going to experience.

I’m not really sure how you teach young people about death. Perhaps a combination of science with philosophy. Perhaps it could help to talk about the common causes of death – car accidents, heart attacks, cancer – and what they do to the human body. Or diseases that cripple most of our grandparents like Alzheimer’s or pneumonia. It could be good to have group discussions about what’s next and what happens to “you”.

We should probably count ourselves lucky that we get to choose to learn about death or not. Were we all in Syria or Afghanistan at the moment, death would be unavoidable. But in those rare moments when we do have to deal with death, it would help to be prepared, if you can indeed prepare for the end at all.

My affair with Kindle

BORIPAT LEBEL

The affair started at the beginning of my first year at the ANU, back in 2011. I didn’t see it coming and I didn’t think it would end the way it did. I still ponder about the “what if ” question sometimes. The nostalgia lingers on a tenuous thread of love and hope. It was a despairing occasion, for both of us. To lose a loved one, because you cheated, is an unforgivable act. But if you asked me, even back then when the wound was still raw, would I do it, cheat again, for the other? I must confess that I wouldn’t hesitate to say “yes”.

Because I love you, Kindle. You are the queen of the Amazon jungle.

Being in the new digital age and all, it really comes as no surprise that e-readers are taking over the novelistic market of literature. Amazon is a current leader (nice try, Apple) in this ebooking phenomenon. Their Kindle is one of the best e-readers on the market with the use of an amazing Electronic Ink Pearl displaying technology. I actually

have no idea what this means, but I suspect the point of it is you don’t get that shiny glare most often seen when reading iPads. Storage space is also not a problem; one Kindle boasts a storing capacity of over 3,500 books – think of the endless possibilities! An entire library for less than 245 grams, meaning that you can easily slip it into your purse, man-bag or simply parade it triumphantly around campus while only using one stress-free hand – take that chemistry textbooks!

The longevity of the Kindle is also impressive. It can go un-charged for more than two months straight, based upon a daily usage of half an hour. The prices for the books are usually half of what you’d pay for paper back editions, and all your beloved classic novels are free for Kindle users – from Dostoyevski to Dickens, it’s all for free! As for the Kindle itself, the price ranges from $79 to $139 depending on the model and its memory size (this price range does not include taxes and shipping).

Now a lot of you classicists reading this ar-

LIFE & STYLE// 17

ticle will be like “Bitch, please. Real literati only read paperback.” I was once a skeptic too. Nevertheless, Kindle’s lightness, its intelligent design and charismatic characteristics lured me and I eventually gave into it. We have become inseparable ever since. However, the love and appreciation certainly didn’t develop over night. Initially there was some tension and jealousy, but with time, I gradually cheated on the books more and more often. Admittedly the free ebooks did influence my stingy student ego, but that didn’t make it any easier for me to let go. Take my words: “It will be hard, there will be drama; but the outcome is a lover like no other. “ “But there’s nothing like the smell of a new book and the crisp pages of a new novel”, the stubborn traditionalists persist. To them I say: “try eating French-fries under a dead dry tree.” That’s what we ebookers do to remind ourselves of the ones we once loved, although it’s hard not to bring Kindle along for the occasion.

WORONI radio Interviews Benjamin Law Woroni caught up with Australian author and columnist, Benjamin Law, at this year’s National Young Writer’s Festival (NYWF). He gives the low-down on researching for his latest novel, Gaysia (hint: it involves whooping cough after being stranded overnight at a Japanese bath-house); the future for Australian writers; and answers the ultimate Would-You-Rather question: would you rather be Beyonce or go to space? To find out, listen to the podcast at www.woroni.com.au/podcasts.

[W]: Can you tell us a little bit more about your latest novel, Gaysia?

[BL]: Gaysia is a book that took me to seven different Asian countries looking at seven different queer issues. I went to Indonesia, Thailand, China, Japan, Myanmar, Malaysia, and India, and each of those countries I focused on a different LGBT issue. So in Thailand I went backstage for a month at the world’s biggest transsexuality pageant. In India I looked at the queer right’s movement. Because I’m not a news journalist, my instincts are to write longer feature narratives that focus on people. I’m always curious to hear about the human dimension of these stories. If in China, gay men are seeking lesbians for sham marriages, what sort person are you to get into that situation? So a lot of it was sitting down with people and getting that human side of the narrative.

[W]: You mentioned in a panel discussion at NYWF that American author David Sedaris refuses to write about sex, because he doesn’t want his audience to imagine him or his partner naked. Is there anything you won’t write about?

[BL]: I don’t really write about sex either.

I mean, I write about my dysfunctional and potty-mouthed family… but no sex.

I don’t think I want to subject anyone to imagining that. I’ll talk about it on an academic level, but I don’t think anyone needs to hear about the stuff I do.

[W]: Do you have any advice for young writers?

[BL]: Publishers are always on the look-out for young, new voices to turn into books.

The main thing you have to keep in mind is to simply keep on writing. Writing can’t be a private act; the more you write the more people will understand 1) you’re a writer and 2) what kind of writing you do, and hopefully they will pair you up with someone who will champion you.

Interviews

REVIEWED// 18

The Wild, Wild South WATCH // MOVIE Beasts of the Southern Wild Directed by Benh Zeitlin 2012 SINEAD O’CONNELL

Made on a shoestring budget by a New Orleans-based collective, Beasts of the Southern Wild sees six-year-old Hushpuppy (Quvenzhané Wallis) become the ultimate conduit for exposing both survival and perception in their purest forms.

Shot with 16-millimetre film, director Benh Zeitlin and cinematographer Ben Richardson find a ragged purity in some of the most tragic aspects of existence.

The film bears an incredible likeness to Terrence Malick’s Days of Heaven and Tree of Life, where the sights and sounds of nature are suspended in idyllic moments of extreme splendour. From an animal to a leaf, Zeitlin and Richardson, like Malick, create an invisible bridge between reality and perception, encouraging the viewer to suspend their awareness and instead harmonise with the visual.

Hushpuppy and her father Wink (Dwight Henry) live in adjacent shacks in a place coined “The Bathtub” - a piece of land separated by a levee from the industrial sector of Southern Louisiana. Our heroine animates the film almost entirely on her own, becoming a force that lets the narrative thrive and illuminates the images and context around her.

Through her, Zeitlin vicariously affirms the importance of innocence and the acceptance of disillusionment when ideals and expectations drown. As a somewhat epochal hurricane challenges The Bathtub’s very existence, Hushpuppy’s wide-eyed naivety decorates her lyrical mediations all the more.

While her father denies his own battle with a terminal illness, he also attempts to give Hushpuppy the wisdom needed to fight in this kind of wilderness. As she listens to the heart-

beats around her, holding animals and plants up to her ear, we too hear that unmistakable sound which gives the universe a silent pulse.

The title thus alludes to the animalistic nature of the community rather than the metaphysical “beasts” we see unearthed during an icecap melting.

Throughout the film, however, there is an unmistakable sadness in the eyes of the child. She is somewhat neglected and sees through a lens blurred by her own innocence. Just as alcohol gives life to the adults on screen, Hushpuppy’s quest for human connection gives her the strength to carry on.

The childish, but also very human instinct to feel nurtured is explored captivatingly throughout, as Hushpuppy says “I can count how many times I’ve been picked up…I can count on one hand”.

Criticism around the film has focused on the misrepresentation of life in Southern Louisiana. However, the movie is less about poverty and politics, and more focussed on the circumstance in which a community faces a foreign government.

There is a poignant moment when relief efforts have “taken” Hushpuppy and her friends into a shelter and she narrates, “It didn’t feel like a prison…just a fish tank without water”.

The poetic simplicity of that perception defines the narrative of this film, where complexities are broken down and replaced with obvious but unobserved notions about human civility.

Hushpuppy’s sentiments align well with this notion: “The whole universe depends on everything fitting together just right. If one piece busts, even the smallest piece, the entire universe will get busted”.

Based on a play by Lucy Alibar (who collaborated on the script with Mr. Zeitlin), Beasts of the Southern Wild champions life and love lost; sorrow and redemption; and strength and survival.

Most importantly however, it is a film about beauty and its enigmatic beasts.

Shot with 16-millimetre film, director Benh Zeitlin and cinematographer Ben Richardson find a ragged purity in some of the most tragic aspects of existence.

Photo // Arts Revue

Arts Revue Reviewed WATCH // REVUE Disney, ANU Arts Revue Directed by Milly Cooper 2012 MINGJI LIU

Sometimes I wonder what Law, Science, Engineering, and Business students think of their unruly counterparts: those poor souls among us who have chosen to pursue an Arts degree. Whatever stereotypes or caricatures they may hold about the typical Arts student, I suspect that the 2012 ANU Arts Revue confirmed every last one.

The moment the audience walked into the Drama Lab, they were treated to a hazy black stage, the sound of shrieking monkeys and primal jungle music. The lights faded and the insanity began.

The revue kicked off with a medley of Disney songs, their lyrics butchered and revamped to resonate more with the lives of undergraduates.

Ah yes, they must have paid a fortune in royalties to the Walt Disney Corporation. This medley introduced us to what was easily the best thing about the show: its all-singing and all-dancing cast - an explosive troupe of triple threats.

After this initial number, the show’s Disney theme was all but dropped in favour of a lively slew of comedic sketches which poked fun at anything and everything they could get their hands on, and a series of musical parodies that exploited Section 41A of the Australia Copyright Act 1968 to its full potential.

The highlight of the Revue was undoubtedly its sharply choreographed, slick musical numbers such as a vitriolic jab at the Vice Chancellor’s funding cuts set to the tune of “Big Spender”, or a College of

Asia and the Pacific recruitment song set to The Little Mermaid’s “Under the Sea”, complete with a giant dancing lobster.

However, some of the revue’s most imaginative skits could have benefitted from a little polishing.

Skits such as an AA style group therapy session for Disney villains, or an episode of Play School set in an Orwellian dystopia were conceptually clever but fell flat in their execution.

The bulk of jokes were inevitably cheap shots at all too easy targets such as Australian politicians, ANUSA meetings, Julian Assange, and nutty Marxist lecturers. Nevertheless, when you are watching something as surreal as Sylvia Plath screaming for someone to turn the oven on while Gina Rinehart tries to recite poetry etched on her buttocks, what’s there to complain about? When the cast is clearly having a hell of a lot of fun, the audience can’t help but enjoy themselves as well.

It should also be mentioned that the show felt a little scattergunned at times, jumping from scenario to scenario with little build-up or anticipation, and ending all too abruptly. But these are flaws that are inherent in the structure of any multi-act revue. The 2012 Arts Revue never outstayed its welcome and left its audience wanting more.

It was ultimately two hours well spent. Director Milly Cooper and Musical Director Casey White have crafted a well written spectacle with sharp-witted comedic sensibilities.

It is reassuring to know that in spite of budget cuts, administrative reshuffles, shaky employment prospects, and countless other perils, our humble Arts degree students still know how to put on a damn good show.

Whatever stereotypes or caricatures they may hold about the typical arts student, I suspect that the 2012 ANU Arts Revue confirmed every last one.

REVIEWED// 19

Sugar, spice and vodka on ice DRINK // BAR Knightsbridge Penthouse Current Cocktail Menu JESS MILLEN

Cocktail drinkers tend to split themselves into three camps.

The first belongs to those who live by the mantra of W.W.D.D.D. (What Would Don Draper Do) and have trained themselves to appreciate (and talk extensively about) drinks like Old Fashioneds, which are classy, sophisticated and taste like cough syrup and a mace to the face.

The second camp consists of those who dislike the taste of alcohol but enjoy its effects – in these cases, the bells and whistles of a cocktail serve as the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down.

The third and, I think, most populous camp – among students, at least – is made up of those who like alcohol but aren’t experts; appreciate a classy evening out but live on a budget; and enjoy the occasional cock-

tail because it’s novel, feels a bit luxurious and tastes delicious, or at least interesting.

A decent cocktail menu should cater to all three camps without any sense of snobbery (after all, cocktail preferences say nothing about the drinker beyond the arrangement of their taste buds), and Knightsbridge’s Spring selection puts up a solid effort to this end.

As with any menu, some drinks are better than others, but this is as much a question of personal choice as it is a question of quality.

If you’re a Camp One drinker, Josh Nedeljkovic’s awardwinning cocktail, Alexandra, is a must-try.

An “homage to gap year flings”, according to its creator, the honey vodka and Hennessy

offer heady layers of flavour – the Aperol is particularly strong – and the citrus aroma from the orange peel rubbed against the lip of the glass is a nice touch. Altogether it is both sweet and a touch over-strong; to the untrained palate it tastes like the juice wrung from a decomposing Christmas pudding.

Given its awardwinning status, however, this is clearly not a view shared by alcohol aficionados, and Nedeljkovic’s creation is sure to have lips smacking and tongues wagging in Camp One. On the other end of the spectrum, Camp Two drinkers should go for the gin and elderflower liqueur concoction that is Noah’s True Love. Summery and light, it leaves an aftertaste as sweet and innocent as a sug-

Summery and light, it leaves an aftertaste as sweet and innocent as a sugared orange; its alcoholic content is huddled out of sight like the Greeks in the Trojan horse.

ared orange; its alcoholic content is huddled out of sight like the Greeks in the Trojan horse.

But the menu doesn’t consist entirely of these extremes, and Camp Three drinkers should look no further than By Royal Appointment, which is sure to be universal crowd-pleaser.

Tanqueray gin and grapefruit juice make the initial taste quite sweet, but a combination of lemon, Ardberg scotch and Campari give it a smoky, tart and slightly bitter finish that makes it a truly delicious and interesting blend of flavours.

On average, you’ll be handing over around $20 for your chosen poison ($10 on Thursdays), but there are a number of very decent wines on offer for those who prefer to keep it simple.

Perhaps the best way to decide which camp you belong to, and which cocktail would bring you most joy, is to ask the bartenders.

They’re chatty, smart and seem to genuinely enjoy helping you find a drink you’ll love.

Besides, watching them fuss over your drinks with the finesse and focus of a bomb squad is a large part of the fun.

Ruby Sparks an overlooked gem

WATCH // MOVIE Ruby Sparks Directed by Jonathan Dayton Valerie Faris 2012 MICHAEL QUINCEY

First, to talk straight: the American filmgoing public sucks.

Regardless of which film wins which Oscar, or if Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit is less than mesmerising, the greatest tragedy to strike Hollywood this year is the fact that Ruby Sparks struggled to make a bare $1.7 million at the American box office.

This may have something to do with the distributor’s inept decision to have the film launched in the middle of the American Summer, yet surely a few people might have been curious enough to check out this excitable, cerebral-prod-

ding and charming little indie rom-com.

Alas, they didn’t, and so Ruby Sparks slips into the ether of great, forgotten movies while Hollywood moguls can point to statistical data that undeniably proves that the general public would much rather prefer a few The Lucky One and Twilight clones when it comes to questions of romance.

Perhaps I am asking too much for this movie to be a success. The two leading actors are hardly bright and beautiful young and upcoming stars, like the overly groomed Efron or the statuesque Miss Kristen Stewart – that is, a statue in both appearance and spirit.

Paul Dano (perhaps best remembered as the laconic older brother from Little Miss Sunshine, which also boasts the same directing team as Ruby Sparks in Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris) somehow has a countenance which is both angular and moon-faced, though this makes him all the

more fascinating to watch. His geeky veneer is apt to play literary wash-up Calvin Weir-Fields, who had a flash-in-the-pan, commercially and critically successful debut novel but has retired, Salinger-like, into his own loneliness and frustrations.

Zoe Kazan, who also wrote the screenplay and thus proves she is both beautiful and talented to an irksome degree, is not pretty by any conventional sense but she has such feverish magnetism that to watch her play Calvin’s dream girl, etched up on his rickety old typewriter and somehow magically brought to real life, is to love her; truly a thinking-man’s Zooey Deschanel.

And furthermore it’s an incredibly indie kind of film in that it’s a bit twee, a bit quirky, a little cleverish and like, the songs for the montage scenes are ALL French pop songs. But (thankfully) The Shins are not about to save anyone’s life and Kazan’s

script opts for the cleverish over the quirky.

Ruby Sparks is also not afraid to explore the darker side of love: those elements of control and obsession, the fear of abandonment, the hyperbolic idealisation of a loved one which threatens always to disappoint, themes usually marked under “Here Be Dragons” by most cookie-cutter love stories. Indeed, perhaps its greatest scene is it’s most horrendous, when Calvin, bent on proving his power over Ruby, transforms her from dream girl into a contorted puppet.

Apart from the last few minutes which wraps it up with absolutely no guile and too much ease, anyone who has ever been in love and has an IQ near enough to three digits should delight in every minute of this movie.

Take my advice: get thee to Ruby Sparks, because it deserves it. God knows, if the Yanks didn’t like it, it must be great.

REVIEWED// 20

Sweet Tooth doesn’t satisfy our appetites

READ // BOOK Sweet Tooth Ian McEwan 2012

ROBERT SELTH

Ian McEwan is very, very clever. That’s his most striking feature as a novelist: in every book he has written, his intelligence illuminates his writing, informing every turn of his story and every twist in his prose.

What makes his books so exciting is that he combines this intelligence with a gift for creating suspense, creeping unease, and a peculiar kind of psychological horror – all of which might lead us to expect that the Cold War spy novel could be the ideal genre for this author.

So it’s both surprising and disappointing to find that his latest offering, Sweet Tooth, is the least impressive book he’s written in a very long time.

The novel bears all the hallmarks of a slowburning, John le Carré-type thriller. In a decaying early 70’s Britain, we meet Serena Frome, a pretty and bookish young woman who acquires a lowly desk job in MI5.

After several small intrigues with her bosses and co-workers, Serena is sent undercover to meet a young writer, Tom Haley, whom MI5 want to support through the convenient façade of an NGO. Haley differs from most

LISTEN // CD Ariel Pink Mature Themes 2012 ROBERT SELTH Not much music, certainly not much in 2012, is as strange as the work of Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti.

The Californian maverick and his band are in the tradition of Captain Beefheart or Frank Zappa, pop musicians so bizarre that they’re not even on the extreme end of the indie spectrum – they’re beyond it, in a place marked Just Plain Weird.

Over the last ten years, Pink’s undeniable uniqueness has won him a passionate cult following and significant critical respect.

This respect intensified following 2010’s Before Today, which was the closest thing an artist like Pink can have to a breakthrough.

Now he’s delivered a follow-up, Mature Themes. It’s not as good. But perhaps more importantly, it begs the question that coolheaded people have been asking for a long time: does Ariel Pink really have much to offer beyond sounding musically perverse?

Once you strip away the novelty factor, are his songs really worthy of all this attention?

Mature Themes is grittier than its prede-

young intellectuals by being anti-Communist, so it’s in the interests of the Cold Warriors to see that he rises to prominence. Of course, Haley is to have no idea that his funds are coming from the government, and this leads Serena into a double life when she, predictably, becomes his lover.

It’s largely McEwan’s treatment of Serena herself that makes Sweet Tooth so much less compelling than books like Enduring Love, Atonement or Saturday.

For the first time in his mature career, McEwan has written a novel in the first person – Serena narrates – and it doesn’t suit him.

Far from giving greater scope for the author to convey her character, Serena’s voice turns out to be a limitation: she is not very clever, so there’s no room for McEwan to deliver the kind of long, intense passages of closely observed detail that have been his hallmark in the past.

He’s cut himself off from the very quality that makes his books so compelling: his biting intelligence. We’re stuck inside Serena’s head, and the result is that the novel feels shallow and unsatisfying.

The other big problem is that, despite ap-

pearances, McEwan just isn’t suited to the mystery novel. In the past, his thrillers have never rested on mystery; he builds them on psychological tension, in following people under immense pressure and watching with agonising closeness how they react, or how they break apart.

Sweet Tooth relies on a very different kind of cleverness: the cleverness of the detective novel, namely the intricacies of feints and twists in the plot, the finely crafted set of people and events whose real arrangement is hidden from the reader until the final revelatory flourish.

As it turns out, McEwan’s just not all that good at it. It’s possible to guess, if not quite what the twists will be, at least where they will come, and who and what they will involve.

Above all, something basic is missing. We simply don’t care about these characters all that much, and it’s mostly because McEwan himself just doesn’t seem that invested in them. Though he gives her the first-person treatment, he’s not nearly as intimate with Serena as he was with Henry Perowne, Briony Tallis, or the lovers in On Chesil Beach.

Of course McEwan always writes well, and Sweet Tooth still makes for an entertaining read.

But don’t expect another masterpiece.

this year, and we’re still listening to it. Nothing on this album stands a chance of that.)

Now the thing is, of course, that a lot of those descriptions might actually sound quite interesting – certainly worth checking out, at any rate, even if only for a laugh. The trouble is, for all that Ariel Pink is a font of bizarre ideas, he has a way of making them into songs that sound surprisingly unadventurous.

Yes, the s y n t h y blowjob and Paris song sounds like it has potential (it’s the one called “Kinski Assassin,” if you’re wondering). It even has the lyric “Bring on the bogan shemales hyped up on meth” – ear-catching if nothing else. But the song itself is tedious, tuneless, and oddly tame.

That’s a recurring problem: Ariel Pink

is rarely interested in sounding bold or engaged, let alone having fun. His weirdness is dark rather than playful, which would be fine if he were more talented and could pull it off. But for all their eccentricity, most of his songs lack the spark of life.

Ariel Pink is self-absorbed, but not in a psychologically compelling way like Kanye West; pretentious, but not in a so-talented-it-doesn’t-matter way like the Flaming Lips; deliberately silly, but not in a fun way like, well, like most pop music.

Worst of all, he’s not nearly as imaginative as he thinks he is. Sometimes he has moments of greatness, but they are neither great enough nor frequent enough to excuse his usual mediocrity.

Mature Themes lacks anything like Before Today’s “Round and Round,” which is still his only song good enough that it truly transcends all his limitations. What it does have are a couple of highlights – like the catchy “Farewell American Primitive” and the lovely, drifting “Baby” – scattered through a great deal of music that seems little more than drivel.

In an ideal world, he would be bracing, challenging, and make records that sound shocking and exciting in all their strangeness.

In reality, he’s usually just unpleasant and dull.

Obnoxious Ostentation

cessor, and it slogs its way through an even denser thicket of sheer, sprawling randomness. Its weirdness is perhaps best conveyed as a simple catalogue of moments.

To that end, Mature Themes features a synthy song a b o u t blowjobs that randomly inserts the line “I’ll always have Paris”; a druggedout psychrocker with vocals that manage to sound both lo-fi and badly autotuned all at once; a song on which Pink obsessively chants the phrase “I’m a nympho” in a voice that recalls nothing so much as the Monster Mash; and a long, grating distortion-fest of a song about eating schnitzel.

And that just skims the surface. (Incidentally, the Monster Mash is fifty years old

p

REVIEWED// 21

Frank Ocean

LISTEN // CD Channel Orange Frank Ocean 2012

ROBERT SELTH

Music To Have Sex To LISTEN // CD Coexist The XX 2012 TARA SHENOY

Coexist, the eagerly anticipated second album by London indie pop band, The XX, h is a hollow echo chamber of fragile guitar, rumbling bass and controlled percussion.

- Jamie Smith’s production is sub. tle and escapist. Experimental ebbs and flows and pregnant pauses create an expansive space for Romy Madley- Croft and Oliver Sim’s sprawling poetry.

- “Missing” begins with an aching heartbeat and Sim’s soft serenade, “Will you miss me?”, while Croft’s soulful ululations shanghai your heart. A gap yawns, s radio silence, and you stop breathing.

Tough-minded critics challenge the many harmonic similarities between Coexist and their self-titled debut album as suggestive of a lack of development and musical prol -

-

.

gression. Purists, on the other end of the spectrum, recognise the familiar minimal as refinement as opposed to re-creation.

I would argue, however, that Smith has expanded his scope. The steel drums of “Reunion” and the violins in “Tides”, the deep drum rhythms of “Chained” and the synth moan of “Try” are all elegant examples that stand testament to his brilliance.

This is no B-side album. There is urgency in the low and heavy percussion of “Sunset” and “Swept Away”, a gnawing house underbelly that was lacking in the metallic beats of “Basic Space” and “Night Time”.

Meanwhile, “Our Song” is a sweet reminder of platonic devotion. The XX generously allows us into the world of Croft and Sim’s shared love: “All I have, I will give to you/And at times when no one wants to/I will give you me/And we’ll be/Us.” Coexist was not conceived for the pumping speakers of nightclubs or prepubescent house parties.

Coexist is your lover, sensuous and hungry between sheets.

Mozart’s Don Giovanni and tertiary education sector reform.

be introducing a new degree program. The Bachelor of Useful Music will offer guest lectures from renowned musical educators, including the ANU’s very own Vice-Chancellor Ian Young. Here, we present an exclusive extract from his first class….

While Mozart’s 1787 opera Don Giovanni has been interpreted in terms of the tension between the ethical and the aesthetic (Kierkegaard:1843), I would like to propose a new reading of this classic musical text that sheds light on Mozart’s pioneering theoretiIAN YOUNG, cal contributions to knowledge hub design VICE-CHANCELLOR in the tertiary education ecosystem, which, I argue, provide key insights into the nature of “Long live women, long live wine! The sup- mission-critical core learnings in the higher port and glory of mankind!” education management space.

– Don Giovanni’s mission statement The overture to Don Giovanni’s first act beNext year, the ANU School of Music will gins in the key of D minor. However, just as

d .

-

Frank Ocean’s Channel Orange is the real thing. It’s a great R&B album: smooth and comforting as warm chocolate, thoughtful, easypaced, perfect for late nights and slow dances.

It’s gorgeously produced, seductively melodic and full of character. With this record, Frank Ocean shows himself to be one of the most sensitive, mature and compelling people in popular music. If that weren’t enough, he’s also prodigiously talented and he sounds like nobody else.

What makes Ocean so distinctive, besides his remarkable musicianship, is how utterly human he sounds.

He differs from nearly all contemporary R&B and hip-hop stars by seeming like he has nothing to prove. He never brags, he never sounds like he’s trying to be cool, he’s not keeping one eye on his status or his macho cred like the vast majority of rappers usually do. He doesn’t try to be sexy; he knows his music makes him more than sexy enough without his having to tell us.

Very unusually for a hip-hop star, his album is not at all self-conscious: never in the record does he refer to the record. He doesn’t need to, because his focus is entirely on what he’s singing about, not on his own persona.

In other words, he eschews an entire galaxy of genre clichés by refusing to suggest that he himself is important as a performer; instead, he makes his subject matter important. It’s enormously refreshing.

What he’s singing about – or rapping about, in his slow, gentle croon – is frequently something very, very intimate. This is an album of sympathy and vulnerability.

He sings about complex, adult relationships and serious, difficult decisions and situations.

“Taxi driver, be my shrink for the hour,” he implores at the opening of “Bad Religion,” and goes on to talk about faith with more subtlety and imagination than most pop stars ever hint at. “I swear I’ve got three lives, balanced on my head like steak knives,” he confesses achingly on the same track.

He can turn his attention outwards and comment ruefully on the contradictions of celebrity life, he can address friends and lovers with startling honesty and compassion, and he can lay his own soul bare.

Above all, Frank Ocean is a simply wonderful musician. Channel Orange is laden with perfect hooks and sequenced for maximum pleasure.

Listen to the swaying, beautiful chorus of “Lost”; the clicking, understated rhythms of “Thinkin’ ‘Bout You”; the feel-good bounce of “Forrest Gump”; the dirty, glittery hook that kicks into “Pyramids” at the 1:10 mark (and then gets a fantastic extended workover a few minutes later). It’s all just so damn catchy. Short, moody interludes carry the listener from silky ballads to subtly swinging pop and then back into the silk again.

Not much of it, not even the epic “Pyramids,” is very upbeat – this is not an album for parties.

It’s an album to savour alone, with a loved one, or in a small and relaxing group of people.

And whichever way you take it, it’s probably going to be one of the most enjoyable records you’ll be treated to in 2012.

universities today must, continually and critically, reassess and redeploy core offerings in order to compete in an environment of international excellence, so too must Mozart’s orchestra critically re-evaluate its original tonic decision in light of changing circumstances.

Acknowledging international best practice the orchestra shifts to a sprightly D major, a seamless end-to-end upskilling that enables the musicians to display key dynamism going forward, while retaining key features of the original key.

Mozart’s use of the woodwind section is a striking feature of this opera, with the composer consolidating low-hanging fruit like the flutes in order to leverage and proactivize the repurposed scaleables of the oboes and the clarinets, which are far more jovial in tone and which are cheaper to buy in bulk, at

least at current market prices.

As the triumphant strains of the final ensemble number (‘Questo è il fin!’ – which may be loosely translated from the Italian as ‘At the end of the day’) fade to silence, it becomes clear what Mozart is suggesting about management practices in the contemporary university. At 30,000 feet, the value-add of a world class education becomes contingent on robust operationalised net-nets, which – as the trombone part reminds us constantly – can only ever be monetised in a paradigm of bringing to the table core actionables. I hope you’ll join me next week for my lecture on “Accrual vs Cash Basis Accounting in the Piano Works of Débussy”.

- TOM WESTLAND

SPORT// 22

Storm reigns as Dogs fail to bite ZACK MACKEY

Melbourne Storm 14 Canterbury Bankstown Bulldogs 4

It has been a while in between drinks for the club from the south, last winning the premiership legitimately in 1999. Coming into the game, they were the bookies’ favourite to win, but were still lining up against an incredibly strong Bulldogs side, with Des Hasler at the helm. Hasler had performed a miracle for the Bulldogs, earning the title hero of the west as he led the Canterbury side to this year’s minor premiership. What was tipped to be a fast paced flowing game unfortunately didn’t live up to all the hype was instead characterised by penalties, handling errors and back to back sets for both teams.

The Storm’s trio of superstars: Billy Slater, Cameron Smith and Cooper Cronk were pivotal in the Storm victory – a redemption of sorts as all were involved in the stripped premiership campaigns. One could say that the prospect of redemption spurred the Storm towards the heavily defensive 14-4 victory.

As always, Cronk marshalled the Storm

troops, masterminding two of his side’s three tries. Weaving passes put steaming players into gaps – a tactic the Storm readily and effectively employ. Cronk’s influence in the final was enough to see him awarded the Clive Churchill Medal for best on ground.

As well as placing the ball over the line as a result of Cronk magic, Billy Slater regularly injected himself into defence. The final nail in the Bulldog’s coffin came in the 65th minute, when Bulldog Ben Barba, winner of the Dally M Medal for player of the year, made a break, followed by a cross field kick for charging centre Josh Morris.

With Morris certain to score, Slater chased the bouncing ball, forcing the knock on and punching the ball out of play. Miserly defensive efforts, led by Slater and Smith laid the platform for a truly Storm Grand Final.

Surprisingly Storm hooker Cameron Smith had an off night with the boot, kicking at 20%

(1/5). While this helped the Bulldogs retain a grasp on the match, efforts such as Smith holding up his opposite number, Michael Ennis, over the line after a barrage of pressure ensured the ten point buffer was enough.

Ryan Hoffman scored the first try of the match in the 7th minute on the back of a barnstorming run. This initial catalyst didn’t seem to spark the Storm into action, as five consecutive sets on the Bulldogs line only yielded a missed penalty goal attempt. The Storm’s frustration at a perceiving lack of ability to convert pressure into points was apparent, and led to a penalty in their own half, providing the base for the only Canterbury try to Sam Perrett.

Unfortunately the final game of the season wasn’t without controversy. Bulldog James Graham made like Mike Tyson and seemed to develop a fondness for munching on Billy Slater’s ear. The incident was put on report, and there is sure to be more said about it. The

As hard as it is for me to admit, it was good to see the Storm win a legitimate grand final.

bite to eat happened in the midst of an all in brawl, sparked by Slater’s attempt to stop the first Bulldogs try. No other players were put on report as a result of the brawl, but this might be a different story once the match review committee evaluates the game footage.

As hard as it is for me to admit, it was good to see the Storm win a legitimate grand final.

It goes without saying that Craig Bellamy has built up an incredible team in his tenure as head coach, and the salary cap scandal certainly marred that reputation. That the Storm may now give a big one finger salute to all of their detractors and haters, is good for the game. Finally the likes of the ‘Big Three’, Slater, Smith and Cronk, can hold their heads high knowing they were the best team in the competition. Sunday’s win won’t make up for the humiliation and embarrassment of being stripped of two premierships and three minor premierships, but there is something to show for Melbourne’s continued dominance, and after Sydney’s shellacking of Hawthorn the day before, the wetbacks needed something to lift their moral! Congratulations Melbourne Storm – 2012 NRL Premiers.

Do Referees Base Decisions on Reputation?

better known for diving, racial allegations, biting someone’s ear and impromptu goalLuis Suarez is an amazing footballer, with keeping in the 2010 World Cup. In fact, if he great touch, sublime skill and an eye for goal. wasn’t playing for my beloved Liverpool, I’d However, perhaps this Uruguayan star is probably hate him.

In the recent derby of Liverpool vs. Manchester United, the Reds lost an emotional game, one that was filled with many controversial decisions. Liverpool fans were fuming when referee Mark Halsey sent off Jonjo Shelvey for a two footed tackle when Johnny Evans also came flying in with two feet. Then with the game at 1-1, Antonio Valencia was gifted a penalty when there was zero to no contact by Glen Johnson. Valencia was already falling down before Johnson attempted the tackle and yet he still gave him the penalty that Van Persie converted.

Suarez also had a chance to win a penalty himself, when Johnny Evans made contact with him in the penalty box. Granted, the way that Suarez fell made it look like a dive but there was definitely contact and no pen-

JOSHUA CHU-TAN

alty was given. Could this be due to Suarez’s reputation as a diver?

Suarez has not earned a penalty since March against Arsenal. However, he has been shown a few yellow cards for diving in the box. On the other hand, Antonio Valencia isn’t notorious for diving and that could’ve affected Halsey’s decision to award him one a very soft penalty in a crucial derby match.

Also, let’s face it, he plays for Manchester United and who doesn’t love them right?

“It’s down to referees to not judge him. I think even when Luis does get blatant penalties, now he doesn’t get them,” says Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard.

Glen Johnson also defended his team mate, “Referees have to forget about who they are looking at and not let the past affect their decision.”

“I almost guarantee if it was exactly the same situation and it was Luis and not Valencia then it wouldn’t be a penalty,” speaking about the penalty that was given to Man Utd,

“It is cheating at the end of the day, that’s what people call it.”

Call it defending their teammates, but I think Gerrard and Johnson are spot on in their accusations. Suarez for sure is not the most liked player out there and his reputation has been seriously tarnished since the Evra racism incident. He also has his fair share of dives and has been shown yellow on multiple occasions due to this. Referees should not pay attention to this at all though. They should call the game as they see it and not even think about the players involved. I have noticed this season that Suarez is eradicating diving from his game which is a good thing, but now when he goes down, the referees will rarely call it. Why? Most likely due to his reputation. I strongly believe that football referees will look at the reputation of the player before considering their decisions, but this should not be the case. Call what you see refs.

SPORT// 23

Eastlake Go Back to Back As Lions Fail to Roar ROHANA PRINCE

Blood has been spilt this night

MURRAY ROBERTSON

Sydney 14.7.91 Hawthorn 11.15.81 The Swans are an oddity in the AFL. Never has a team achieved so much with so little.

Contrasted against Hawthorn, a team of football royalty, a trend emerges. The Swans are the New Zealand to Hawthorn’s Australia, the David to their Goliath, the Venus Williams their Serena.

Hawthorn are, to be brief, frighteningly powerful. They have the best forward of the last decade, the best coach and sublimely skilful players. Yet what they don’t have is the 2012 Premiership, the cup will head north with the Sydney Swans.

The Swans are a motley crew. They have discards from other clubs, a Canadian Rugby player, Lewis Roberts-Thompson and have to contend with a city of fickle supporters.

Yet they have their second premiership in 72 years, why?

Twenty people crowded our living room on Saturday afternoon, 95% of those going for the Swans, one jaded Carlton supporter going for the Hawks and one deluded rugby supporter going for Lance Franklin. What they witnessed was a heist, one of the finest order.

When Mike Pyke butchered a kick in the first quarter, a collective groan went around the room. How can a Canadian rugby player play AFL? If a duck looks like a duck, acts like a duck and sounds like a duck, it is probably a duck. Mike Pyke sounds Canadian, and un-

fortunately, was playing like one.

With the Swans trailing by three goals at quarter time, I sloped off to the bathroom, not wanting to witness my beloved Swans, suffer a bloodbath.

Sydney went man on man in the second quarter. They shut down Hawks captain Luke Hodge and opened up the Hawks in a sustained burst of excellence, with a three goal

A highly unlikely victory is all the sweet- er. The underdog, like it so often does, has a surprise or two. half time lead to show for it. The mood in my living room, dampened by the anticipation of defeat, lifted. When the Swans kicked on in the third quarter, the room was abuzz with possibility.

Enter Lance Franklin. He took marks, made space and two booming goals later had the Hawthorn supporters, quiet for the last half hour, on their feet. In the blink of an eye, Hawthorn had hit the lead and my head was back in my hands. I rocked back and forth in my chair while defeat hung like fog in the room.

The last quarter began with two Hawthorn goals-two daggers to my heart.

However Mike Pyke then took a few marks.

Mitch Morton, the epitome of discards, having twice been told by clubs that he was not wanted, created a goal. Dan Hannenbury, only twenty-one, kicked another goal. Scores were level and chaos reigned in our house.

Adam Goodes tore his PCL in the second quarter but thankfully came back on. A pack formed in the Swans fifty, players threw themselves at the ball, with one Swan holding back. The ball fell to him and he pivoted on his injured knee and kicked truly. Swans supporters around the country stood in unison.

Minutes remained, minutes for Hawthorn to claim a flag many believed should be theirs.

I was beside myself. Yet more so because one mark, one kick or one tackle could decide this game.

Mike Pyke marked again. What a name and what a player! He’s not a duck, he’s a Swan.

Sydney streamed towards their goal, each metre gained making victory more probable.

A pack formed, desperate bodies flung to the side. The ball slid out and impossibly flew from a Swan boot majestically through a high arc into the goal.

A highly unlikely victory is all the sweeter. The underdog, like it so often does, has a surprise or two. Blood has been spilled this night, and another chapter of the South Melbourne/Sydney Swans or the ‘Bloods’ has been written.

Eastlake’s Women’s AFL team, the MFs, have won back-to-back premierships with a win over the Riverina Lions at Manuka Oval on Sunday the 9th of September. Behind 15-13 at half time, Eastlake kept Riverina scoreless and dominated play all over the ground in the second half to come out victorious 4.9.33 to Riverina’s 2.3.15. Eastlake’s Carli Shillito was named best on ground.

Riverina were looking for a win after losing last year’s decider to the MFs. On paper, the Lions appeared to have the stronger line-up, welcoming back veteran Mel Hyland whilst Eastlake were without stars Louise Winter and Kasie Nugent. As minor premiers, and having beaten Eastlake three times earlier in the season, Riverina looked to have the premiership in the bag.

Eastlake started slowly in the first quarter, with Riverina scoring a goal in the first minute.

Eastlake re-gathered, however, with legend of the game Melissa Backhouse scoring the first goal for the MFs from a set shot thirty metres out. The Lions rebounded with a goal midway through the quarter, going into the break with a five point lead.

Despite going into the half-time break with a two point advantage, the Lions were dominated by the MFs in the second quarter. Adair Forbes-Shepherd scored a stunning snap shot when the ball dribbled her way out the back of a pack midway through the quarter. Though Courtney Horan and Sophie Casey took strong marks, they could not stop the likes of Eastlake’s Emily Diprose, Carli Shillito and Rebecca Hall from dominating through the centre.

The domination continued after half time, with Eastlake taking the lead in the third quarter. Rachel Crittendon provided options for Eastlake down the wing despite the best efforts of Lion Rhiannon Busch, whilst Forbes-Shepherd continued to outrun her opposition in the forward line. A fifty-metre penalty saw Eastlake’s Charlotte Anneveld kick the MF’s third for the day.

Eastlake sealed the win in the last quarter with a goal from Hannah McIntosh. The league’s leading goal kicker took a miraculous diving mark and kicked the goal to secure the game for the MFs. With the sounding of the final siren, Eastlake became the 2012 premiers, winning their seventh premiership in the fourteen-year history of the women’s league.

The Back Page PERLUSTRATING ASSERVATIONS Examining commonly held beliefs with a blow torch and a bunker buster

“There is a soulmate out there for me.”

JAMIE FREESTONE MATHEW MCGANN

The concept of the “soulmate” is well known and all but ubiquitous in modern culture. But can this actually be true?

Soulmates must be paired, if not and if love is distributed randomly in a non-reciprocal way, everyone would be attracted to someone who is attracted to someone else. This would result in a worldwide unrequited love polygon with seven billion sides. Thus, true love is commutative and goes both ways. Let’s explore its other mathematical properties: couples are inverses; a love operation is unlikely to be transitive, as wives rarely sleep with their husband’s mistresses; and associativity is true in Mormon families — the world is an Abelian love group.

Such one-to-one matching immediately raises a few problems. The world must be made up of pairs of people which would require the world’s population to always be an even number.

Also, there are more men than women in the world so there cannot be a perfect one-to-one soulmate matching. Perhaps homosexuality is the key; with male homosexuality being more common, male/male soulmates cancel out the numerical advantage. This zero-sum game could mean that that the increase in reported homosexuality around the world is the direct consequence of female infanticide in developing countries. Thus the splash of a bag containing a female baby in a Chinese river causes ripples through a home-birth pool as two queer babies disgorge into a modern Californian family.

But does everyone have a soulmate? If so, then even history’s greatest villains had a chance at true love that would be the envy of many people. Obviously Hitler had Eva Braun, but did Dr Mengele find true love on

the run in Argentina or while performing experiments on Jewish Hungarian twins? Did Herr Fritzl find his true love in a basement in Austria, or is he still searching?

And does everyone always have one soulmate? It’s tempting to believe one will receive a new soulmate when a young love is unfortunately killed by accident and you never had a chance to meet, but then everyone else in the world is accounted for too. So when old Ethel kicks the bucket, is Albert left to make the short walk across the hospital hallway from palliative care to trawl the maternity ward for his freshly allocated soulmate?

If one is still convinced, one would need to get smart with their method of finding their mate. There is no way to explore a sexually and intellectually satisfying relationship with enough people to make it likely to find The One just by dating your way through the several billion potentials.

The only way to even get noticed by enough potential suitors is to become very famous very quickly.

This would be difficult and is typically achieved only by rock stars, minority presidents, Hitler and terrorists.

The simplest option would be the latter; a short career as leader of an Islamo-Fascist terrorist cell could bring you to global infamy very quickly. You need not worry that you would alienate your mate, as they must love you (even Eva loved Adolf despite his temper). As a bonus, if the CIA hit squad got to you before your soulmate did, you would at least be guaranteed 72 virgins in heaven. Because the virgins are merely paradisiacal constructs, they’d Lie [deliberately capitalised; an obscure joke] outside the Abelian love group.

Sex with these virgins would not provide closure of your failed mission for your soulmate, but they’d be souls with whom you could mate for eternity.

Q.E.D.

Does everyone have a soulmate? If so, then even history’s greatest villains had a chance at true love that would be the envy of many people.

Agony Angus

An abridged transcript of ALAN JONES Unedited extracts from 2GB broadcaster Alan Jones’ apology after his remarks about Julia Gillard’s father’s death, “The old man died of shame” at the Sydney University Liberal Club President’s dinner.

When people feel a sense of frustration and they don’t feel as they have got anywhere else to turn, they then, I suppose, adopt this black parody.

I was taught as a young kid by my father if you’re going to eat crow, you should eat it while it’s hot.

I just say it as I see it. It was a raucous night and everyone was into it. But that’s not an explanation, not an excuse.

It was a metaphoric point.

Go Canterbury.

KAFKA IN KOMIC

Dear Agony Uncle, My car was making chugging noises every few Assuming your engine idles the same as my seconds and then broke down last week. This v12 at 750rpm, there’s a chug every 3.125 roSome of you may remember Aunty Flo from was the final straw. I’ve been having a really tations of the engine. This would mean that previous editions of The Back Page. Unfortu- tough time recently; my father is in hospital, the problem isn’t a pulley or pulley bearing. nately, our beloved wise woman has decided my lease is up and I’ve been battling with feel- It’s probably a belt problem, or maybe your to hang up her pinafores. Luckily, she’s put ings of low self-worth. Since then, I can’t stop injectors. Take off your engine cover and just us in touch with another advice columnist. crying and I have no appetite. I can’t concengrab hold of one of the injectors while the Introducing.. Agony Angus. Telling it like it trate at work and my boss says if my work car is idling, you should be able to tell if the is, AA answers your relationship/ university/ continues to be unsatisfactory, she’ll have to click you feel is correlated to the chug you life queries and quandaries. Write in with ‘do something about it’. My friends won’t reply hear. To the best of my knowledge, it isn’t your questions at contact@woroni.com.au to my texts, I don’t who else to speak to and anything to get worried about. Make sure I’m having seriously dark thoughts. What you get your car serviced every year at least. should I do?

Yours, Unlucky at Life Agony Uncle.