Woroni: Edition 9, 2014 by Woroni

ANU VIGOROUSLY PROSTITUTES TO FETISHES OF NARCISSISTS

FACES OF ANU:

STATEMENT TO COUNCIL by ANU Fossil Free

OUR VERY OWN

AUNTY ANNE

WORONI 8-9

PROFILE

BODY POLITIC PULL-OUT

MORONI

5 AUGUST 2 0 1 4 - NO. 9, VOL 66 - WORONI.COM.AU - FACEBOOK & TWITTER

PROCEDURAL UNFAIRNESS: SEXUAL ASSAULT AT THE ANU An investigation into the response to an alleged sexual assault at Toad Hall has found that the Australian National University did not follow correct procedure as per the ‘Student Critical Incident’ policy. Despite Protocol for Responding to an Allegation of Recent Sexual Assault’, Woroni’s investigations have found systemic inconsistency between the ANU’s Halls and Residences in applying the correct protocol. The Australian National University has investigated the Head of Toad Hall and Ursula Hall, Dr. Ian Walker, for mishandling the relevant procedures when an allegation of sexual assault was made. The investigation has found that Toad Hall did not act as per the ‘Student Critical Incident’ policy. The alleged assault took place on the 10th of May and member, who then referred the matter to the relevant authorities

for Student Life, conducted the investigation into Dr. Walker’s response to the allegation. On the 31st of July, the investigation’s conclusion was that the University did not follow due process and that Toad Hall did not act as per the ‘Student Critical Incident’ policy or procedure. There had already been allegations of stalking

Dr. Walker interviewed at least two witnesses to the incident. One witness has provided comment, “I didn’t feel that [Dr. Walker] handled the interview well. He didn’t do enough to investigate.” Additionally, Dr. Walker did not refer the matter to the student registrar, which is mandatory as per the governing protocol at the

Chancellor of Student Experience. This resulted in the alleged victim being made to retell her version of events four separate times in

Community Coordinators and student leaders, participated in sexual assault response training. This included a presentation from the Canberra and included responding to scenarios.

was clear about the importance of reporting incidents and that the possible consequences for

the ANU. Woroni contacted all the Halls and

and/or criminal disciplinary procedures.” On the 8th of July, the Australian National to elaborate on sexual assault response and

Sexual assault policy has been inconsistently

they now had a consistent sexual assault policy and how it was applied. Despite the training they had received a week earlier, the Community Coordinators at most of the colleges were unfamiliar with the existence of had a personal or accessible copy that they were able to send through to Woroni. Every Community Coordinator directed Woroni to an

Despite the training the Community Coordinators had received a week earlier, the Community Coordinators at most of the colleges were unfamiliar with the existence

a more suitable contact, many of which were administrative assistants or receptionists. Erin Gillen, Head of the ANU Women’s Department, has previously discussed the importance of standardized reporting mechanisms and the need for centralized positive step in the right direction.” So far the only repercussions for Dr. Ian Walker have been an order to issue an apology to the individual involved.

that sexual harassment is not covered by this The alleged victim then took the matter

of pastoral care, including the Heads of

2014, prior to the alleged assault. These earlier incidents were raised with Dr. Ian Walker when they arose and in response to these incidents, a

The police were not involved in the matter. Two weeks later, the individual who made the report was informed that the alleged perpetrator’s behaviour, “might well have been ‘a matter of mixed signals and misreadings… it is possible that he did not recognise how compromised [she] was.” A strong warning was then issued to the alleged perpetrator, yet no further action was taken.

days after a sexual assault.

policies and procedures, for example, the policy, include reference to the Forensic and Medical Sexual Assault Care (FAMSAC) at Canberra Hospital, which provides medical

Counseling Centre.

Dr. Jasmine Jury, Head of Fenner Hall, is still completing her investigation into the alleged assault itself. Dr. Stephen Milnes will be the instance. He can be contacted at: stephen.milnes@anu.edu.au. The protocol is available online via:

WORONI No.9 Vol.66

CONTENTS No.9 CAMPUS NEWS

BODY

COMMENT

23. AUSTRALIA NEEDS DEREGULATION

4. STRATEGIC CHANGES MADE BY ANUSA EXECUTIVE

By Jordon Morrissey

By Nina Haysler

TRAVEL

WORONI SPECIAL LIFT-OUT

POLITIC

26. BORING IS BETTER

4. QUEER DEPARTMENT’S 20TH ANNIVERSARY

By David Winter

By Sophie Yates

REVIEWS

8. INTERHALL ART SHOW By Sophie Yates

12. INVISIBLE WHEELCHAIRS By John Hartman

26. SETTLERS OF CATAN By Joel Dignam

6. ANUSA’S NEW FUNDING MODEL

SPORTS

By Polly Mitton

13. FLUXABILITY By Daniel Savage

27. CAN THE REDS COPE WITH SUAREZ?

7. COUNCIL MEETING

By Josh Chu-Tan

By Abigail Widijanto

14. PROPS, PROSTITUTES & PARADIGMS By Laura Campbell

CREATIVE WRITING

FEATURE

29. HOROSCOPES

8. SPEECH TO COUNCIL ON BEHALF OF ANU FOSSIL FREE

By The Hungover Mystics

29. THE ARCTIC

By Joshua Creaser

16. “BUT YOU DON’T LOOK DISABLED” By Rebecca Randell

By Leason Hoay

PROFILE

29. SOMEHOW LOVE STUDYING

10. OUR VERY OWN AUNTY ANNE

By Hamish Dean

By Jessica Rogers & Areti Metuamate

17. PARTICIPATION ASSISTING AT THE ANU By Michael Harrison

LIFE & STYLE

PHOTOJOURNAL

29. CAMPUS STYLE

21. THE IMPORTANCE OF EID-AL-FITR

Photography by Adriana Cleaver

By Andaleeb Akhand

E&F EXPLAINED

By Camilla Patini

22. POVERTY: A DEEPER LOOK AT DEPRIVATION

18. LET’S TALK ABOUT POO By Carly Gordon

31. UNABASHED

31. LIKE JOHANSSON BUT LESS WOODEN By Thomas Antioch

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF COUNTRY

EDITORIAL BOARD

SUB-EDITORIAL TEAM

Woroni is published on the land of the Ngunnawal people. We respect elders past and present and recognise that the sovereignty was never ceded.

Editor-in-Chief - Tara Shenoy Deputy Editor-in-Chief - Ross Caldwell Managing Editor - Alex Catalan-Flores Editor - Janis Lejins Editor - Polly Mitton Editor - Beatrice Smith Editor - Elena Tjandra Editor - Abigail Widijanto

Advertising inquiries and submissions can made at: advertising@woroni.com.au

S TA F F

Lead News Correspondent - Nina Haysler Lead News Correspondent - Sophie Yates Features Sub-Editor - Alice Zhang Comments Sub-Editor - Ben Stilling Arts & Reviews Sub-Editor - Hugo Branley Arts & Reviews Sub-Editor - Anna Dai Science Sub-Editor - Grace Elkins Life & Style Sub-Editor - Christina Rae Sports Sub-Editor - Josh Chu-Tan Head of Photography - Em Roberts Head of Videography - Matt Solomko Radio Sub-Editor - Giordio Borzuoloa Radio Music Coordinator - Isaac Dugdale Mitchell Scott - Managing Assistant

Phone: (02) 6125 9574 Shop 15, Lena Karmel Building 26 Barry Drive, Acton 2601

Dallas Proctor - Bookkeeper Olivia Kelly - Administrative Assistant

Woroni is printed by Capital Fine Print.

Week 3, Semester 2, 2014.

IN BRIEF In Gaza the

Days between July 8th and August 1st

No.9

“We promised to return the quiet to Israel’s citizens, and we will continue to act until that aim is achieved,” - Benjamin Netanyahu, August 2.

saw the most deadly conflict in over 7 years.

Thank You Gillian Triggs,

Israelis dead.

1,592 2,909

President of the Australian Human Rights Commission, for standing up to Scott Morrison.

Palestinians dead.

Rockets fired at Israel from Gaza.

3,834

Targets in Gaza struck by Israel. A 3 day cease-fire proposed on August first only lasted

Mins.

until hostilities resumed.

MONDAY

More than 200,000 people are sheltering in

schools

WORONI RADIO @ THE ANU FRIDAY 15TH AUGUST 2014, SCIENCE CARNIVAL 11AM-2PM, UNION COURT.

owned and run by the United Nations Relief and Works Agency, who report that

5-7

A day of fun-filled science with free food, games, music, activities, shows, talks, competitions, and prizes will come to the Australian National University (ANU) for National Science Week.

have been hit by shelling and airstrikes since Israeli ground operations begun on July 17.

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

ANU Circle for Gender Equity Panel, 5:30pm @ Spark Helmore Theatre

Interhall Arts Committee, Poetry Slam 7:00pm

Aid & Development Learning Community: Meet the Experts, 6:00pm @ Brian Kenyon Student Space

Woroni Radio Live On Air 5:30 - 10:00pm

Rhetoric LCC: A Day in the Life of a German Ambassador 7:00pm @ Bruce Hall

1962 - Marilyn Monroe dies at 32 years of age

12 Inter-Hall AFL @ South Oval 4th Vs 5th - 8pm

FRIDAY 8

SATURDAY 9

SUNDAY 10 Inter-Hall AFL @ South Oval B&G vs Fennar-10am Berg vs Johns-11:30am

ASIAA’s 2nd Birthday, 7:30pm @ Lena Karmel

UL vs Ursula - 1pm

NUTS presents: NSFW by Lucy Kirkward, 7:30pm @ The Drama Lab, ANU Arts Centre

Burton & Garran Hall presents: RENT 7:30pm @ ANU Arts Centre

Inter-Hall AFL @ South Oval

Christopher Pyne’s Birthday Party 1pm @ Union Court

Youm-e-Azadi (Pakistani Independence Day)

Indian Independence Day South-Korean Liberation Day

1961 - East Germany erects Wall

WORONI RADIO @ THE ANU SCIENCE CARNIVAL

NUTS presents: NSFW by Lucy Kirkward, 7:30pm @ The Drama Lab, ANU Arts Centre

6th vs 7th - 10am 5th vs 8th - 11:30am 2nd vs 3rd - 1pm 1st vs 4th - 2:30pm

WORONI No.9 Vol.66

CAMPUS NEWS STRATEGIC CHANGES MADE BY ANUSA EXECUTIVE CAMPUS NEWS In the President’s Report, at the most recent SRC meeting on the 30th of July, there was information concerning the position

“Communications

new “Strategic Communications Role”. According to the report, the position has a new focus on “helping students run campaigns, establishing relationships with related groups such as NTEU as well as some crossover with position.” ANUSA President Cam Wilson

NINA HAYSLER, NEWS CORRESPONDENT made clear that the new position has been established to ensure that students remain focused on

was discussion of an overlapping transitional period between the old and new roles.

should provide the skills to help the students. The description of the new role description includes

the meeting Wilson stated that ANUSA has encouraged the current Communications

Edmunds was responsible for personally creating the ANUSA Student diaries, all of the student survival guides and the O Week and Bush Week hoodies worn by the organisers. Edmunds has also been provided training to use OrgSync: an online community management program for the Higher Education sector.

Communications role. There is, however, no guarantee that she will remain employed by ANUSA after the position is

In the meeting, Wilson was asked whether he had consulted any of the new tickets running for election about the changes to the

platforms for the organisation”. Jennifer Edmunds is the current

role. Additionally, he was asked whether there was a formal meeting with the council in order to discuss these changes. To both questions Wilson admitted that there was no consultations outside of the current executive “I acknowledge we should have done more consultation around this,” said Wilson. The new Strategic Communications role is advertised on seek.com at: h t t p : / / w w w. s e e k . c o m . a u / job/26901252.

BLOW UP THE LECTURE CAMPUS NEWS On the 29th of July, the Australian National University held a panel to discuss a revision of traditional lecture formats. The panelists featured included Professor Sanjay Sarma, Director of Digital Learning at MIT; Dr. Joe Hope from the Physics Education Centre at ANU; Laura Wey, Education a high-school student from Canberra. The panel was chaired by ABC 666 Mornings Presenter, Genevieve Jacobs. There was no balance on the panel in the form of an alternative viewpoint. There was a single

TARA SHENOY, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Sarma commented that it might be “tempting for universities to take away face-time” and that it was “something we had to watch out for.”

message: technology is breaking open traditional methods of delivering information. The impetus behind a shift to online learning is assumedly to improve student engagement.

There were two main issues raised by the audience during question time. First, the drop-out rates were a smoking gun, with even

However, there is a very real danger that investing in MOOCs will result in a shift to move everything online. There is a clear

declaring that she enrolled in a Edx course “purely for [her] position” only to then drop it.

the long-term to invest in digital learning that can be recorded once and presented repeatedly instead of investing in infrastructure and

Second, an equity issue was raised, in that students without the resources to access digital

learning would be excluded from the process due to an unfair cost imposed upon them. Adding to the question of resource about ANU’s transition to a “userpays” model and the impact that the digital learning model would have. Both the President of ANUSA and PARSA were in attendance. Blow Up The Lecture can be viewed again at: http://canberralive.act.gov.au/ events/event/blow-up-thelecture/.

Week 3, Semester 2, 2014.

QUEER* DEPARTMENT’S 20TH ANNIVERSARY

RECONCILIATION EVENING

SOPHIE YATES, NEWS CORRESPONDENT

The ANU Queer* Department celebrated its 20th Anniversary on Monday 28th July. The event also served as the launch for the Queer* Department’s new strategic framework for LGBTI inclusion at the ANU which will work in tandem with the reinvigorated Ally Network to provide LGBTI support and inclusivity within the ANU. The evening included a charismatic address from Yen Eriksen, an alumni of ANU. Eriksen re-called the way in which she had been swept into the ANU Queer* Community to quickly become a part of its fabric. She described the ANU Queer* Space as the LGBTI “cultural core” of the ANU Campus where members relax, but, for some, to take refuge

important a service the Queer* Department provides in mentoring students who identify. In her words, “it throws people together who need big brothers”.

On Tuesday 29th July, Ready 4 Recognition and Oxfam ANU hosted a discussion panel at the ANU BAR to address issues of reconciliation and the constitutional recognition of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.

followed Erikson by emphasising the need for continued LGBTI ad-vocacy amongst the ANU community. Gill announced which new ANU strategies are to be imple-mented across a broad, comprehensive policy program. The programs are geared towards greater LGBTI involvement and enabling the ANU “to market itself as one of the most inclusive organisa-tions in Australia - and eventually the world”. These sentiments were also echoed by Andrew Barr MLA in his presentation, who furthered the idea of Canberra as “the most inclusive city in the most inclusive country”.

The conversation was directed by a panel of experts which included Tamika Townsend from Reconcilation Australia, Julie Evans from Australians for Native Title and Reconciliation (ANTaR), Asmi Wood from the National Centre of Indigenous Studies, Ryan Goss from the ANU College

of Law and Bhiamie Williamson, a tutor in Indigenous Studies and researcher from AIATSIS. “It gave us the opportunity to deconstruct the issues with the experts”, commented Ready 4 Recognition student leader Karina Curry-Hyde, “it was great to hear the panelists and members of the audience”. The evening was also hosted in commemoration go Reconciliation Week, celebrated nationally in May, and NAIDOC Week.

clear from Eriksen’s address how

Experience ANU Featured events

Events Public lectures Thursday 7 August, 5.30pm

No woman, no drive: How a new generation of artists is transforming Saudi Arabia Associate Professor Sean Foley, ANU Wednesday 6 August, 4pm

Wednesday 6 August, 6pm

Research intensive degrees information session

Meet the experts: Development from the perspective of the developing

Representatives will be available for one-on-one discussion.

Presented by the ANU Aid & Development Learning Community

The Drawing Room, University House, Balmain Cres

Brian Kenyon Student Space, Union Court

Al Falasi Lecture Theatre, Centre for Arab & Islamic Studies, Ellery Cres Friday 8 August, 2.30pm

Membranes, micelles & motors - maintaining the momentum Professor Dame Carol Robinson presents the 2014 Birch Lecture Lecture Theatre, Birch Building, Science Rd Tuesday 12 August, 4pm

Acquiring political information: Effects of threat & emotion on learning Professor Stanley Feldman, Stony Brook University Friday 8 August, 3pm

Assignment China: Tiananmen Square

Friday 15 August - Saturday 16 August

Room 1171, Copland Building, LJ Hume Centre, Kingsley St

Science in ACTion

Thursday 14 August, 12pm

Film Screening & Conversation with Michael Chinoy, University of Southern California

Science in ACTion combines the energy & excitement of National Science Week in one location

Auditorium, Centre on China in the World, Fellows Lane

Melville Hall & Manning Clarke Centre

Restoration of the Florentine Frescoes using nanoparticles & microgels

facebook.com/ TheAustralianNationalUniversity

youtube.com/ANUchannel

Professor Piero Baglioni, University of Florence

@ANU_Events

The ANU campus is always alive with plenty to see, hear and do. Leonard Huxley Lecture Theatre, Mills Rd

Monday 11 August, 6pm

Tuesday 19 August, 6pm

Presented by the ANU Anime & Gaming Society Manning Clark Centre Foyer

Human Rights in North Korea

Monday gaming

The Hon. Michael Kirby AC CMG Auditorium, Centre on China in the World, Fellows Lane

Applications close Sunday 31 August

Other

Opportunity for undergraduate & honours students to gain research insights & work with academics who are leaders in their field. See events.anu.edu.au for more details.

Wednesday 13 August - Saturday 16 August

‘RENT’

Summer research scholarships & internships

Burton & Garran Hall peform the The Broadway hit musical live. ANU Arts Centre, Papermoon Theatre, Union Court. Charges apply see events.anu.edu.au for more details. Tuesday 5 August, 7.30pm

What it’s like to study a PhD in Asia & the Pacific This virtual webinar will provide some handy hints on making your application & research proposal.

All events held on the ANU campus unless otherwise indicated. Schedule is subject to change, please check website closer to the date to ensure event information is correct.

events.anu.edu.au

WORONI No.9 Vol.66

ANUSA’S NEW FUNDING MODEL POLLY MITTON

CAMPUS NEWS The ANUSA Executive has faced considerable criticism over a recently introduced funding model for their internal Departments. Despite being billed as autonomous departments, the ANU Disabilities Student Association, Environment Collective, Indigenous Collective, International Students’ Department, Queer* Collective, and the ANU Women’s Department all receive their funding from ANUSA’s Student Services and Amenities Fee (SSAF) allocations. Prior to 2014, Departments were allocated $10,000 each. $2,500 of this came from SSAF and was to be spent on honoraria for the ANUSA’s O-Week income and was to be dedicated to campaigns. In late 2013 the incumbent ANUSA Executive introduced a new funding model for the ANUSA Departments due to According to the 2014 ANUSA President Cam Wilson, this model was introduced not working for Departments. While each of the Departments were given $10,000 for expenditure in 2013, their reported and $0. It was clear that the model was not working for the Departments nor ANUSA generally.” In Semester One 2014, Departments were given the constitutional amount of SSAF provided funding. Any funding that was required for campaigns was submitted to the ANUSA Executive to be awarded at their discretion from a large pool of nonSSAF money, dedicated to Department spending.

A requirement of SSAF funding is that the money cannot be spent on political party purposes. This funding model aimed to ensure that the SSAF money was not put towards political purposes, while the money from the group pool could be used for anything construed as political campaigns. This model has since been abandoned by

maintain that the model will infringe on the funding decisions rest with the ANUSA Cam Wilson, however, believes that the current model will be no less restricting to the ANUSA Departments. “[The third model] does not [infringe on autonomy] any more than the last model. Decisionmaking is still - and always should be autonomous. Departments are, however,

“While those with obvious physical handicaps must live their lives in the knowledge that everybody perceives them as an ‘other’ before they’ve even met, the mentally or otherwise

dependent on the organisation. With the new model, the Executive works with the

silence.”

Despite heavy criticism, Wilson has also

ANUSA because, according to Wilson, “Although it was an improvement over last year’s model, there was still room for improvement in terms of reducing workload and clarifying the model.” A third model is now in its early stages. This third model simply requires the Departments to apply for funding, providing they deliver a detailed budget of expected costs. The new funding model aims to ensure that funds are distributed proportionate to the greatest need and still enables the Executive to have a greater control over the causes the SSAF money is put towards. This control is the primary concern of many

This August, host a lunch to support kids living with cancer and... Register Now

for the year and works to achieve that with consideration of ANUSA’s resources. I believe with working with the Department can assess and address the needs of specialinterest groups.”

were part of the decision-making process in implemented in both the Semester One and Semester Two models. “We extensively with their feedback and [addressed] any misunderstandings and issues in the transition. For example, we understood during their holidays because of their members being away and inability to hold a meeting. So we promised that we would their Bush Week plans up until they could pass their budget.” It remains to be seen whether the Semester Two model will be a success.

Week 3, Semester 2, 2014.

COUNCIL MEETING CAMPUS NEWS On the Friday, the 25th of July, the ANU Council held its fourth meeting of 2014. ABOUT THE COUNCIL The Council is the ANU’s highest governing body and is responsible for: • appointing the Chancellor and ViceChancellor. • the corporate governance and strategic direction of the university • approving the university’s annual budget • monitoring the university’s commercial activity • legislating university statutes

ABIGAIL WIDIJANTO Santos, a company in which the ANU is numbers and indicators were withheld at the behest of Gareth Evans. With regard to the ANU’s international equities portfolio, Grange reported that the university does not choose individual stocks. The ANU leaves decisions in its international portfolio to the discretion of SRI research will also be conducted for these agents to determine if their mandate from the ANU should be changed in any way. Grange says that the reports are “remarkably substantive” and have provided the ANU’s

including, amongst others: • Chancellor, Gareth Evans • Vice-Chancellor, Ian Young • ANUSA President, Cam Wilson • PARSA President, Ben Niles • Executive Director of Administration and Planning, Chris Grange • Deputy Vice-Chancellor (Academic), Professor Marnie Hughes-Warrington • Professor Pat Dodson, who is also the

COUNCIL AGENDA FOR THE 25TH OF JULY

“Chris Grange reported on the ANU’s newly developed Socially Responsible Investment Policy, which is a response to the ANU Fossil Free’s 3-year campaign for the university’s divestment from the carbon market.”

The Council meeting’s agenda consists items. Observers and the press are only allowed to observe the meeting when nonagenda are as follows: SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE INVESTMENT POLICY REPORT Chris Grange reported on the ANU’s newly developed SRI Policy, which is a response to the ANU Fossil Free’s 3-year campaign for the university’s divestment from the carbon market. Grange reports that, this week, the ANU has investment service for $10,000. The service will undertake an assessment of the ANU’s domestic equities. The assessment will give each of the ANU’s 40 Australian stocks a rating based on; environmental criteria such as climate change and biodiversity; social governance of the company; and strengths and weaknesses of the company with respect to human rights. A sample report of an SRI assessment of

Investment Advisory Committee with a “stock of information [they] have never had before”. Graeme Samuel, Chair of the ANU’s Finance Committee, states that the ANU will “hopefully...be best practice” in ethical investment with this new policy. The ANU has promised to act on these SRI reports by October. Following Chris Grange’s report, Joshua Creaser from ANU Fossil Free was invited to make a statement to the Council.* THE CRAWFORD SCHOOL AUSTRALIAN LEADERSHIP FORUM Chancellor Gareth Evans reported on the success of the Crawford School’s twoday leadership forum. The purpose of

speakers for the forums various breakfasts, lectures and plenary sessions. Chancellor Gareth Evans noted two important improvements that should be made to next year’s forum. Firstly, Evans was conscious of a lack of focus on social issues, as the forum emphasised geopolitical and economic issues. Secondly, Evans noted the absence of business leaders from the forum and hoped that the Business Council of Australia will have more involvement in future. ALUMNI RELATIONS AND PHILANTHROPY Colin Taylor, Director of Alumni Relations and Philanthropy, reported to the Council on progress in the ANU’s burgeoning campaign for more philanthropy geared towards increasing the university’s funds. Alumni Relations and Philanthropy has been conducting a number of headline projects. One of them is an ‘annual giving”’project which appeals to ANU graduates and asks them to give something back to the university. Money from this appeal will be put into a fund which will be dispensed at the discretion of a committee that is yet to be chosen or created. One other important project is the review of the ANU’s international alumni relations structure. This includes categorising alumni based on their net capacity to give. the highest category, capable of giving over $ 1 million. The highest category also has an estimated net worth of $12 billion. NAMING POLICY FOR FACILITIES AND SERVICES Colin Taylor, who is also the Director of Endowment for Excellence, reported on developments of ANU’s policy for naming physical assets (such as buildings, lecture theatres, etc.) and non-physical assets (such as scholarships, Chairs and lectures). A coherent policy is needed as the university receives approximately four applications per week for a structure to be named.**

objective - to be a major contributor to the national policy debate - and to brand the Crawford School as a leading public policy establishment.

*An abridged version of Joshua Creaser’s speech features in this Edition of Woroni and can be found on Pages 8-9.

The two-day conference was attended by 150 delegates, ranging from research leaders, to politicians, department

**For a satirical piece on the ANU’s Naming Policy (based on actual banter from the Council meeting), see Moroni on the back page.

WORONI No.9 Vol.66

FEATURE

On the 25th of July, the ANU Council reported on its new Socially Responsible Investment (SRI) Policy which was a response to ANU Fossil Free’s 3-year campaign for the university’s divestment from the carbon market. The following is an abridged version of the speech which Joshua Creaser made to the Council on behalf of ANU Fossil Free in response to the ANU’s new SRI Policy. This is the second time someone from this group has presented to this council. I want to thank you for the opportunity once more. I would also like to acknowledge the other students from Fossil Free ANU (FFANU) in the room and to pay tribute to their tireless work on this most pressing issue. In November, many of us sat in this same space as the Socially Responsible Investment Policy (SRI) was approved – inspired by the ‘gold standard’ approach to investment of universities. So, what are gold standard universities doing on this issue? Divesting from coal.

STATEMENT

‘stranded assets’. I will then talk about the ethics of fossil fuel divestment. This is now a legal pressure, thanks to ANU’s new responsible investment policy. Finally I will discuss the matter of the ongoing engagement of Council and the campaign.

FINANCIAL RISKS

There is broader evidence that the ANU risks stranded assets on its balance sheet if it persists with fossil fuel assets. Consider the following.

BY JOSHUA CREASER

Many have acknowledged the risks to investors and the global economy of a growing carbon bubble – this includes the International Energy Agency, HSBC, Citi Group, World Bank, ANU Professor (and former Liberal Leader) John Hewson and an ex-Bush era Treasury Secretary. The impacts of this bubble could pale in comparison to the Global Financial Crisis.

COUNCIL ON BEHALF OF ANU FOSSIL FREE Photo above, ANU Fossil Free. Photography by ABIGAIL WIDIJANTO

But this is not just a medium to long-term Social movements and market disruption from renewable energy are causing are huge upheavals to the traditional fossil fuel energy sector. For example, Barclays recently downgraded the credit rating of the entire US electricity sector, due to disruptive impacts of solar and storage. And the rise of the social movements and democratic organising pose the single greatest source of risk to oil, coal and gas

Week 3, Semester 2, 2014.

JOSHUA CREASER around the world. The most damaging industries are being hurt the most. Here, Victoria has a moratorium on fracking and NSW is notching up its action. This costs the industry dearly, as demonstrated by the successful Bentley blockade and revocation of Metgasco’s exploration permit. And of course divestment campaigning itself is a major disruptive factor. Research from Oxford Academic, Ben Caldecott, who spoke at ANU’s Crawford School earlier this year, suggests that the stigmatising powerful potential to leave this a pariah industry and to do so quickly. It has worked in the past, and this is the fastest growing divestment movement in history. It is worth dwelling on how this all relates to ANU’s own portfolio. You will remember

All of the aformentioned points should be comminucated to academics and students.

ETHICAL IMPLICATIONS The Socially Responsible Investment (SRI) Policy this Council created is about the ethics of ANU investments. It stipulates that we should not invest in companies “likely to cause substantial social injury”. I want for a moment to consider the ethical implications for the university of continued investment in fossil fuels. It seems to us just a little absurd that ANU, leader that it is in climate change research, is hiring external consultants to tell it whether fossil fuels cause ‘substantial social injury’. You could ask any of ANU’s own climate, health or development experts.

Metgasco, a coal seam gas company, in 2011. It then took 18 months to do fully campaign from farmers and knitting grandmas sent its share-price falling. ANU million was lost over that time. But getting out even at that late stage put ANU ahead. The Bentley blockade resulted in the government revoking Metgasco’s license completely. Now the share price is barely above zero, and ICAC is investigating the company. Maybe the ANU should be thanking us? Yet as we know, while divesting from Metgasco due to “perceived environmental issues”, ANU was secretly buying Santos shares. A safe bet? Well just this week NSW written down to the tune of $600m due to social movement pressure. and this Council should ensure it is getting the very best research. We request that the Council directs it researches to outline: • • •

associated with continued investments in coal, oil and gas . What impacts, if any, would come from a fossil free portfolio? That the Council uses analytical tools that are already in-front of it. For example John Hewson’s Asset Owners Disclosure Project requested the university complete a climate risk universities around the world. In May, this council resolved to not do the

“Simply being invited to sit here and speak, for you to note our concerns and then move on, and tell us what you have already planned to do is not satisfactory.” Indeed a number of them have already pledged support to the campaign. We don’t know what sort of information these consultants will give you, but here are some uncontroversial baseline statistics. According to the UN, climate change per year, while the mortality impacts on local communities from digging up and burning coal is in the same vicinity. These are the current impacts and they will get exponentially worse as global systems erode and break down. Fossil fuels are a public health threat on the largest scale. ANU bans dealings with tobacco, but the damage from fossil fuels is far worse.. It’s not just about climate change. This is an industry that dumps in the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park, destroys threatened ecosystems, causes major respiratory issues for regional communities while obstructing proper public health research, pollutes water aquifers and leaks methane. The US is replete with fracking horror stories, but we already have our own cases of aquifer contamination thanks to Santos in the Pilliga.

If this truly “the biggest issue humanity faces”, as the Vice Chancellor has said then I put to you how large would the damage from fossil fuels have to be before you decide ANU must divest? Our request to this Council is that youc considerthe research provided by external consultants and how the university invests as simply another bureaucratic process. You each as individuals and as a collective have a moral duty to decide whether investing in coal, oil and gas can be considered ethical.

ENGAGEMENT

engagement with FFANU. The fact that we are here, for the second time, speaking to you from this table, shows you see us as legitimate stakeholders, and we appreciate that. But simply being invited to sit here and speak, for you to note our concerns and then move on, and tell us what you have already planned to do is not satisfactory.

a committee to advise on responsible investments. That is the way Stanford does it. You have now outsourced the information task to a consulting company. But you will need advice on what to do with that information. We call on the Council to once again establishing a committee and having student representatives on that committee. We also call on the Council to make information on the investment portfolio more easily accessible. Most of the information we do have is due to a Freedom of Information request. The ACT Government posts a quarterly update of the ANU? We will continue to accrue that advice. We now have 1500 petition signatures outreach and conducting our own legal and ethical investment research. We will be providing to you our own original research on this matter. And when you hand down your verdict unsatisfactory, then we will respond with our own research, our own committee and renew the strength of our organisation.

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FA C E S O F A N U : O U R V E RY OW N

AUNTY

ANNE

She might be unassuming and modest, but she’s a strong and passionate Indigenous woman who doesn’t mince her words. me?” she asks, “I don’t think people will be very interested.” Of course, that is an exceptional advocate of Indigenous students and that more people should know about her work taking place at the Tjabal centre. It is clear that Anne loves her students and her commitment is known throughout the university. Her view is that each student is a person from a community coming to Canberra as part of a journey, “And at the end of the day,” Anne says, “It’s their journey. I’m just a facilitator to help them along”. Leadership

from

behind

the

scenes

impressive history. As a school student, Anne had to give up her schooling in order for her two older brothers to continue. She talked of her dreams of going to university even while she was at school, in order for her brothers. “The spirits of my take,” says Anne, describing her journey to attending university as a mature-aged student raising a family. “When I returned to study, I felt honoured and privileged, parents said to me “It’s your turn now. We will help you with your family” so I did it.” family commitments, Anne is also the cochair of the National NAIDOC Committee, this term marking a decade in the position. The National NAIDOC Committee decide the National NAIDOC Awards winners each year. “It is an absolute honour. Here

Illustration by ABIGAIL WIDIJANTO

I am across the table from a previous award winner (Jessa Rogers being named National NAIDOC Youth of the Year in 2010). It is amazing to see what our people are achieving”. Anne says, “Receiving an accolade from your own mob is the biggest achievement. NAIDOC is really a celebration of our forefathers’ struggles. Something based on political activism has now developed into a celebration of our culture that the whole nation shares.”

Anne Martin’s view is that each student is a person from a community coming to Canberra as part of a journey, “And at the end of the day,” Anne says, “It’s their journey. I’m just a facilitator to help them along”.

Anne describes the students of the Tjabal centre as a source of inspiration. “I tell students ‘Go for gold. You will make a

people. Describing her preferred way of operating as behind the scenes, she says “when choosing where to work, I have to here are willing to undertake the journey toward change. We cannot do this alone… Working with people is not always easy, but solutions. That’s important.” Anne has started programs across the nation to support Indigenous students in education from their earliest days, through family education, through to higher education. Her passion after returning in the 1990’s was to ensure children were literate and numerate before starting school. Developing a program started at

home-based early childhood program aimed at educating parents to become their

improve the rights of Indigenous people and has built connections nationally and internationally that she nurtures for the

You’re the best’, and I mean that, they really are.” Anne also acknowledges the Hughes-Warrington (Deputy ViceChancellor (Academic), Richard Baker the university – their level of support and the passionate manner in which they work all of us working together.” Anne often mentions working together as she discusses her lifetime of work with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander

reconciliation and native title.” It is hard to sum up Aunty Anne’s role at the our students are given every opportunity to succeed in pursuing their dreams. The students inspire me so much; their results, Indigenous ambassador. They were my students. I’m the lucky one.”

Daniel Savage, FluxAblitiy, ‘Disabled’, ‘Abled’, ‘Superabled’, 2013. Inkjet print, 200 x 336cm

BODY WORONI SPECIAL LIFT-OUT

POLITIC 11

WORONI No.9 Vol.66

INVISIBLE WHEELCHAIRS The Disabilities You Can’t See

For many, the word ‘disabled’ brings to

and bathroom doors daily, a recognition

“While those with obvious physical handicaps must live their lives in the knowledge that everybody perceives them as an ‘other’ before they’ve even met, the mentally or otherwise silence.” noticing their condition – the same goes

BODY POLITIC

Daniel Savage, FluxAblitiy, 1, 2013 . Inkjet print, , 89 x 112cm

FLUXABIILITY Recent honors graduate Daniel Savage’s talks about his series, Fluxability. which he contributed for this fortnight’s Body Politic pull out. ART/PHOTOMEDIA

DANIEL SAVAGE

Fluxability aims to question the construction and categorization of individuals based on collective and personal notions of the ‘other’ and ‘norm’.

I use this visual relationship to subvert preconceived notions of the ‘other’ and ‘norm’. The work encourages the viewer to reassess these opposing binary labels, and the individual and collective roles we all play as spectators & viewers of these images.

Within the images I represent a single individual existing simultaneously as ‘disabled’, ‘abled’, and ‘superabled’.

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FluxAblitiy, 2

PROPS, PROSTI TUTES, & PARA DIGMS 14

FEATURE In this Feature, Laura Campbell writes about the anxieties she experienced as a person with a disability engaging in sexual activity. She talks openly about the stigma surround the issue and debunks three common myths.

BODY POLITIC

Daniel Savage, FluxAblitiy, 8, (2013) Inkjet print, 89 x 112cm

LAURA CAMPBELL However, what happens when you can’t use these options? What happens when you become an outlier on this strangely narrow spectrum of perfection? What happens when from the world of desire and sexuality? People with disabilities cannot change their disabilities. No amount of hair bleaching, tight clothes or lemon detox diets will change the fact that we are not on the spectrum of physical norms. They can become desexualized and dehumanized, someone to be pitied rather than desired. However, as I began to explore sex with my own and others’ disabilities, an entire new world was opened up to me, and honestly, it was sexy as hell! I began to break down myths that I had held to be true about sex and desires throughout my entire life. Myth #1: Sex must be spontaneous. Every movie, every novel, every TV show I watched, sex was this huge epic moment where their desires had become too much and it had ended up with the ripping of clothes and submission to passion. This perception can be damaging for someone who has to take 20 minutes to let her painkillers kick in before she can get freaky. Sex has many meanings, but at the heart of it all, it is about communication and getting to know someone. Just because you have to take a few minutes to work out a plan, doesn’t mean it isn’t “natural” or any less “sexy”- it is actually a sign that you are that you can take the time to talk it out and still “jump back on the horse” as they would say. So well done you! Myth #2: Sex toys should be kept out of the bedroom.

FALSE. So many types of false. Sex toys can be a huge help within the bedroom not just for people with disabilities but for every type of relationship. Sex toys are tools of empowerment. They assert your right to feel pleasure, they facilitate better communication with your partner(s) and they further your understanding of sexuality. So embrace that vibrator! Grab that dildo! Love your butt plug! And invoke your sexual independence (always with enthusiastic consent of course). Myth #3: People with disabilities aren’t sexy. prized. The ability to do everything for yourself is seen as the height of maturity and desirability. Power is not only respected, it is lusted after. In our society, vulnerability is weakness. So how that has been so heavily bought into by society that it limits the individual’s ability to accept, love and desire when it lies beyond the socially conforming narrative. A person with a disability is not sexy despite their disabilities. They are sexy because of their disabilities. Sexual experiences can be some of the most vulnerable interactions you can have as a human being. What is sexier than someone who has not only embraced their vulnerabilities but has allowed it to empower their sexuality? You’re a little turned on right now, aren’t you?! The launch of the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) has seen the topic of sex and disability brought into a wider human rights conversation. Nationally, we have seen South Australian state MP Kelly Vincent push for the legalization of sex worker services for people with disabilities. Australia has also seen the emergence of charity-based institutions

surrounding the issue. Touching Base is a Sydney based charity that connects people with disabilities and sex workers as well as giving disability training to sex workers. These examples mirror policies within countries such as Sweden, Denmark, Netherlands and Germany allowing people with a disability to access taxpayer funded sexual assistance once a month. However, there is large criticism that legalization of prostitution for people with disabilities further stigmatizes and feeds the notion that people with disabilities are incapable of forming intimate relationships. Currently the NDIS has no legislative program for sex and disabilities. It’s three years on and I don’t have panic attacks anymore. I am learning to embrace my disability. My body, no matter how infuriating at times can be so beautiful. In its weakness. In its strength. In the rashes and the bruises, the fat and the stretch marks, in the needle tracks and the scars, my body has lived. It is the physical embodiment of every moment of my life. It is my postcard to the world. So I think it is about time I said thank you to my undervalued sexy partner in crime - and next time stick around for the entire one night stand. A disability, like your skin colour, personality or body shape is an intimate facet of a person. It can change you. It can make you stronger, funnier, more empathetic or even better in tune with your sexuality and how to pleasure others. It is a piece of you. As a society it is our duty to not only embrace disabilities in their entirety, but also open our minds to allow the possibility that disabilities can be sexy.

Laura Campbell is ANUSA’s

WORONI No.9 Vol.66

Daniel Savage, FluxAblitiy, 4 (2013) Inkjet print, 89 x 112cm

“BUT YOU DON’T LOOK DISABLED...” My Invisible Body Politic FEATURE Continuing with the recurring theme of unseen disabilities, Rebecca Randell writes about the challenges of living with bipolarity.

As someone with a mental health issue, I’ve heard countless times things such as “But you don’t look disabled or unwell” or even “things are so great in your life, why would you be sad?”. The people that say those things to me are right, I don’t look disabled, or even unwell. I’m lucky enough to be able to live a seemingly ‘normal’ life; at least to an outsider. However, as those who know me well understand, my life is far from normal. The fact that I’m on sick leave from my PhD, writing this from my mother’s couch in Sydney, is only one thing that conveys this reality. I have an illness called Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar Disorder is the name used to describe a set of ‘mood swing’ conditions, the most severe form of which used

REBECCA RANDALL to be called ‘manic depression’. It’s a medical condition that of the brain so that the person experiences extreme moods – very high and over excited, or very low and depressed. The that he or she experiences the symptoms of psychosis, and is unable to distinguish what is real. In some cases, Bipolar is entirely disabling, but I’ve been lucky enough to stay away from the extreme end of the spectrum, for the most part. In addition to having this illness, I’m a PhD student at the ANU, working with young people and mental health research methods.

1) MEDICAL APPOINTMENTS At times the rounds of psychologist appointments, psychiatrist appointments, GP appointments and goodness knows what other specialists can seem endless. Sometimes it’s just the monetary drain that’s overwhelming. This has been most apparent to me since trying to keep 9-5 hours whilst completing my PhD. I spend, on average, half a day a week away appointments, every minute wishing I were back at my desk working on the thesis I love. 2) ALCOHOL

To create a better understanding of my, and so many other’s, reality, I’m going to go through a few easy to understand ways that having a mental illness makes my give you pause to think about your own life, or that of your friends’. These issues are more common than you think.

A substance that most university students take for granted, it’s widely accepted that if you’re on medication for a mental illness you generally can’t drink alcohol. Think about that for a minute and realise that this limits a lot of social opportunities. While I can indulge from time to time, I’ve never been to a nightclub and

most of my time at college was spent avoiding, not enjoying, parties. 3) FRIENDS We all need friends, and most of us are lucky enough to have found a pretty good group of them at the ANU. But when you have a highly variable mood, and a tendency to become very depressed, friends become your life support. This was highlighted incredibly clearly to me when I recently went through in being alone, and have had to rely on my friends more than I’d like to get through it. But, largely because of my mental illness, I had no choice. It was that or the possibility of implosion. Mental illnesses aren’t a death sentence, but they do change your life and that of those around you. So please, look a little deeper, think a little harder and watch out for those around you. A caring word could save someone’s life.

BODY POLITIC

PARTICIPATION ASSISTING AT THE ANU Not Just Them FEATURE ANU’s Participation Assisting Program is a way for people to help students who experience autism to settle into university life. Michael Harrison writes about his experience as an Assistant in the program and encourages others in the community to join in.

MICHAEL HARRISON challenges of which they spoke openly, and were steadfastly determined to push through. I couldn’t help but think, as this went on, about my need to balance my own spoons.

so many students, especially those with disability. They say you’ll never know someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. And whilst I’ll never walk in those shoes, walking alongside them was truly remarkable. That said, I am concerned that the paths

I started work this year as a Participation Assistant in the Access and Inclusion Unit at ANU. The program, for those who haven’t heard of it, is designed as a transition mechanism for students with Autism Spectrum Disorder to be able to familiarise themselves with the ANU and student life attempted to fumble my way through my

Over 13 weeks I met two amazing individuals, individuals I now call friends. I saw how they went about their degrees and balanced life, work and study in the ways we all attempt to. This got me thinking about the ‘spoon’ concept1 and the ways in which the students I worked with balanced their futures, and the challenges they saw in getting there. I had never thought of the immense work they put in to ensure their spoons are well managed and preserved. They faced a great number of challenges,

“The Participation Assisting Program at ANU... is designed as a transition mechanism for students with Autism Spectrum Disorder to be able to familiarise themselves with the ANU and student life” ensuring that when they participated, they participated fully. And I wondered, how do I participate? And more importantly, when I participate, do I participate fully? I quickly realised I needed to balance my own spoons. I needed to consider my challenges in participating as fully as I would want. In doing so, I gained a new outlook on the way I participated on

students with disability. There is a lack of awareness, not only in our university, but our community, of the challenges especially miss those areas we take for granted, like getting to know the campus, joining a club, or balancing our time. I’m not afraid to say that was me six months ago; I hadn’t thought about these things as I should have. And I wonder now, without this experience, how easily I would have remained in the same bubble. There is a lot to be done by all of us as a community. If we are to accommodate these challenges, we must be aware of them. So take up the challenge of becoming aware. Consider jumping into the PA program, or look to the many volunteering options on our campus, and see if it assists you in participating in the discourse on disability.

The ‘spoon’ concept was developed by Christine Miserandino as a measure of how much energy students with disability must expend to complete everyday activities as a way of providing a better understanding of everyday challenges people with disability may face. For more information, see https://orgsync.com/80640/events/777107/occurrences/1595308. 1

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LET’S TALK ABOUT POO And Living With Crohn’s Disease

FEATURE Carly Gordyn writes about Crohn’s Disease and the need to relieve her bowels in a humorous, enlightening and infomative manner. I will talk about my bowel movements with anyone who’ll listen. Poo is a big part of my life. It is a big part of everyone’s life. We all do it! Using toilet humour and talking about my poo normalises my Crohn’s disease. It helps me accept the fact that I will be living with this disease for the rest of my life. Actually, I had lived with this disease for a few years before I all because I was too scared to talk about my poo. The Australian identity says it’s not okay to be sick. Crohn’s disease is typically thought of as a ‘bathroom disease’ and hence not to be discussed, or brought up subtly and over with quickly. I get it, people don’t like talking about bowels. It is literally a shitty topic. But talking about it increases people’s awareness and understanding that Crohn’s disease is so much more than bad bowels. If you don’t know what Crohn’s disease is let me quickly Disease (IBD), not to be confused with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). It can involve any part of the digestive system from the mouth to the anus, but most commonly in the intestines and colon. It is believed to be caused by genetic, environmental and immunological factors. A gastrointestinal tract, which causes a range of symptoms including: abdominal cramps and pain, diarrhoea or constipation, bloody stools, severe urgency to ‘go’, fever, loss of appetite, weight loss, tiredness and fatigue, anaemia, liver disorders, and osteoporosis. Most of these symptoms are invisible to another person. In Australia we have this apathetic ‘she’ll be years before seeing a doctor. And as mentioned, I was too scared to talk about it (this is very dangerous; if you are concerned about any

might think that Australians just have an easy going and laidback attitude, but that’s not true. Australians are hard workers and value people who do their fair share. If someone cannot do their fair share, if they complain or take more breaks then others, then they are assumed to you’re that one person who keeps calling in especially when it’s an illness that you cannot ‘see’. I worked 3 jobs while completing my undergrad degree and wouldn’t say ‘no’ to a shift. I didn’t want to be considered ‘lazy’. As learned the hard way to value my health, even if facing criticism from others who will never understand how a “tummy ache” can bring you to your knees. Australians love a cold beer in the summer. They love a glass of red with their steak. They love to celebrate a mate’s birthday with a night on the town or having a ‘few quiet ones’. They drink. Australia has a huge drinking culture; heavy drinking is a cultural norm. Alcohol is it irritates and worsens symptoms, and some alcohol. Moreover, lack of sleep really knocks the age of 25, I don’t drink a lot and can’t stay out late. This can be incredibly depressing and isolating as you are no longer a “typical” 25 year course, some drinks are more easily consumed than others, but by no means will I ever be able to drink like my friends. ‘Just one more!’, ‘are you SURE?!’ ‘me too but I’m still drinking’, are just some of the lines I hear from friends if thousand times. My friends do understand my condition but can’t reconcile ‘no’ and ‘alcohol’. Even my Croatian grandfather can’t understand this. He asserts that a shot of his ‘grappa’ everyday will cure me, or strangely, walnut liquor. People love to tell me what to do. I understand people wanting to help, because their cousin’s step-mother’s great uncle’s dog had Crohn’s disease. But it’s important to know

cousin has Crohn’s, and can’t drink apple and blackcurrant drink without being extremely ill. I can have it without a problem. As I write this, I have received a text from a friend. I am not going to “tea night” with the group tonight; I’m staying in to drink my own tea, because I can’t stand up without my eyes darting around the room, scouting a safe place to vomit if I need to. “Just eat yogurt everyday” he says, “that’s how I got through my disease” (a stomach ulcer). I understand that people will associate this disease with diet. But this disease is not caused it’s not that simple. I love broccolini, I love it so much! But when I am really sick, I cannot go up, the only things that I can bear are English

straight into unbearable pain. and think, sometimes even say out loud, ‘no wonder you’re sick, you’re doing it to yourself’, or ‘have you considered changing your diet?’. Like being hung over, my diet usually involves imaging food and assessing how my stomach reacts to that thought. I will eat whatever doesn’t make me want to dry retch, and this changes daily. Sometimes I can handle steamed vegetables, unfortunately on other days that will repulse me and all I can handle is bland, dry, carbs. It’s hard to live with Crohn’s disease. It’s especially hard in a culture that doesn’t want to talk about it and has a limited understanding of what this really is. In a culture that wants you to work harder than you can, to ‘man up’ because it’s just a ‘tummy ache’ or to drink more beer because ‘she’ll be right’, understanding chronic illness is vital. For those of us who can’t drink and party and who try to stay self-motivated daily internal war. Frankly, it is not easy to “be Australian” with Crohn’s disease. Carly Gordyn is a PhD candidate at the ANU. She was diagnosed with Crohn’s syndrome in her Honours year.

Week 3, Semester 2, 2014.

Daniel Savage, FluxAblitiy, 7 (2013) Inkjet print, 89 x 112cm

Daniel Savage, FluxAblitiy, 5 (2013) Inkjet print, 89 x 112cm

WORONI No.9 Vol.66

Daniel Savage, FluxAblitiy, 3 (2013) Inkjet print, 89 x 112cm

Daniel Savage, FluxAblitiy, 6 (2013) Inkjet print, 89 x 112cm

THE IMPORTANCE OF

EID-AL-FITR ANDALEEB AKHAND On Monday 28 July, thousands of Muslims in Canberra joined millions of Muslims worldwide in celebrating Eid al-Fitr. Eid al-Fitr marks the end of Ramadan, the Islamic holy month during which Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset, abstaining from food and drink. As this means that they must go without food and drink for 12 hours in the day, Muslims will usually wake up before dawn to eat. This practice is known as suhoor or sehri, while breaking the fast as soon as the sun sets is known as iftar. Eid al-Fitr is traditionally a three-day celebration. Many prayers in the morning at the mosque, and visiting family and friends during the day. In Canberra, many embassies and high commissions will have open houses where anyone is welcome to enjoy delicious cuisine from their countries. As the Islamic year is based on the lunar calendar, the end of Ramadan is determined by mosque committees based on sightings of the moon. This also means that the month of Ramadan changes annually. This year, it spanned from June 29 to July 28. Next year it will span June 18 to July 16. Eid Mubarak everyone! All Photos are from ANUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eid-al-Fitr Celebration, on Saturday the 2nd of August. Photography by ABIGAIL WIDIJANTO.

Week 3, Semester 2, 2014.

WORONI No.9 Vol.66

Image: Shutterstock

AMARTYA SENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CAPABILITIES APPROACH TO POVERTY Traditionally, poverty has been

of income. For instance, poverty is

3. schools. Others are left behind

extreme form of poverty being and other social services; 4. Transparency in relations

$1.25 per day or less. In response to this, development programs

choices deriving from the range of options available to them.

people and governments; and 5.

and libertarianism, the capability the range of options available for

income. There are many disadvantages

richest of nations, there is a strong need to see poverty as not merely

famine and emergency relief. the freedom to exercise that choice.

One only needs to look at many

range of choices and then have the describes as the deprivation of a deprivation of choices available to deprivation or poverty: 1. civil rights;

About E&F Explained

abilities to exercise that choice.

E&F Explained is a regular column which takes an important to reader in a clear and succinct manner . If you would like to contribute to this column, email us: economics@woroni.com.au

Week 3, Semester 2, 2014.

AUSTRALIA NEEDS DEREGULATION In this Comment, Jordon Morrissey presents his view of why Australia needs to deregulate its Higher Education sector, including the need to transition to a knowledge economy and the lack of political incentive for either major party to fund universities.

COMMENT

JORDON MORRISSEY

University funding is in a crisis. The current model has put the tertiary sector in a downward spiral of increasing enrolments, decreasing services and cutting

Labor has not come out in particularly vocal opposition to the changes proposed in the budget. This isn’t just to avoid appearing the hypocrite. The

spending $300 billion dollars more than they had, and six

and apply to both sides of politics. There is no advantage to be gained from funding universities. Universities tend to be in safe seats, think New

Labor Government actually cut university funding by half a billion dollars. With the sole exception of deregulating the number of Commonwealth Supported Places, two governments had made no attempt to deal with the worsening problem of our underfunded universities. The uncapping of places opened up new revenue to universities, but was accompanied by no additional funding. This combination has contributed to declining quality in the provision of services. Larger classes, fewer tutorials, and more automated course administration. We are heading into a knowledge economy. Primary industries are slowing in growth, and even if they weren’t they employ needs strong universities to stay competitive internationally. To game, and to attract the best and brightest to our shores. Our universities, and in particular our elite universities, are however sliding down the rankings. Laura Wey and the have you believe it is the fault of the Coalition’s policy. This is an anachronism. The reality is the current system was failing before the Coalition’s win., It is failing now and will continue to fail if nothing is changed about the way universities are funded., tThis goes beyond parties, but not beyond politics.

and Grayndler. Students, university administrators and academics tend to live around univertsities and therefore tend to live in safe seats. Students, university administrators and academics, often union members (even if involuntarily), aren’t perceived as swing voters. Even if this is not the case, there is little evidence to suggest otherwise. cost to funding universities. That cost is primary and secondary education. Why fund universities, when you can fund schools? Every survey again, that they care about two things more than anything, health and education. When they say education, they don’t mean universities. Remember

University revenue should not be compromised by politics, and it is vital for our universities. Revenue is strongly correlated with international ranking, more money predicts a higher rank. There are other predictors, such as location and historical prestige, but revenue is by far the biggest. Rankings alone are not that important, but rank indicates a high research output, resourced university sector. It gives graduates of highly ranked institutions more opportunities and attracts the best people from all around the world to the cities where these institutions are and it is good for students, even if in the end they need to pay more. The Coalition’s reform package comes in two parts, fee deregulation and HECS reform. HECS reform is a budget policy and an education policy. It does not include fee deregulation per se, but includes important measures for the tertiary sector. The biggest function of HECS is that it takes the risk out of investing in education. The threshold ($53,000 per year) is well above the median wage

Whatever you think of HECS reform, the most important part future is fee deregulation. The reason Labor has not been vocal in its opposition of this package is that both they and the Coalition is in. We cannot have a university system whose survival is so tied up in three year election cycle the major parties to completely dodge the issue of university funding without any electoral cost. It will of course agitate a section of the population, but if we recall the geography of this section precludes them from outcomes. With this framework in mind, fee deregulation is inevitable. If it is blocked in the senate, it will be brought up again and again. If the coalition doesn’t pass it, Labor will most certainly have a change of heart when our university sector crumbles and they can’t manage their books. Delaying the

The package will extend HECS

term interests. That is unless we want to walk into the latter half of the 21st century poorly equipped for a knowledge economy, with a decaying husk of primary industry still the workhorse of the economy.

university education providers, diversifying choice for young

The author is directly

never attended university. Many voters even resent universities, and consider them to be elitist. Broadly, universities are not a popular institution especially in battleground zones like Western Sydney.

him/her does not have to pay a cent, unlike in the US.

The Labor party could not justify spending money on universities while burying the federal government in unprecedented levels of debt. It stands the reason that future Labor governments won’t either, no matter how responsible or irresponsible they are.

increased burden of HECS, the government’s package includes a provision for setting interest on these loans to the ten year bond rate, the rate at which the government borrows money to pay for tuition on the students behalf. With another provision capping this at 6%, whatever that bond rate may be. The current

ten year bond rate is 3.44% pa.

Liberal are

not

Party

necessarily

Party of Australia or its members.

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THE ECONOMICS OF JUST ABOUT

EVERY THING INTERVIEW In the words of the ANU Research School of Economics’ Emeritus Professor Bob Gregory, it would appear that Andrew Leigh can do everything. Leigh graduated from the University of Sydney with a dual honours degree, and has enjoyed a career of which most would be envious: a stint as a High Court associateship with legal paragon Michael Kirby, an MPA and PhD from Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, a swift rise as an economist and academic now followed with a similarly swift rise in Federal politics. Regardless of one’s politics, one has to concede that Leigh is, to once again quote Bob Gregory, an “extraordinary person.” It comes as no surprise then that someone as prodigious his hand to what is now his third book published since he entered Parliament. The Economics of Just About Everything was launched on Tuesday July 29th at the ANU Commons to a standingroom only crowd. Drawing upon Leigh’s academic work at the ANU, the book consists of eclectic applications of economics to areas as diverse as convict shipping in the 17th century, to dating, weight loss, sports performance and more. The point of this is to dispel the

ROBERT BOWER popular image of economics as being purely about money. If Leigh’s book sounds somewhat like Freakonomics, it’s not by accident. Bob Gregory, MC on Tuesday evening, jokingly referred to Stephen Levitt as “Australia’s Andrew Leigh” . In my interview with the author, Leigh is more modest “I am nowhere near Levitt’s league.” He is, however, clearly a fan, writing “the Freakonomics revolution has taken too long to get to Australian universities.” The Economics of Just About Everything aims to achieve a similar goal to Freakonomics: broadening the appeal and application of economics and to wanted] to tell an engaging story about how economics is useful not just for people who want to invest in the stock market but also for people who want to lose weight and quit smoking.” When asked why he decided to write the book, Leigh describes “a deep sense that economics can be more interesting than it is sometimes depicted in the popular press.” With economics in decline, now representing 1 in 50 undergraduate students, Leigh is passionate about the importance of having more people study Economics at university. “I am really keen

to paint a picture of economics that will really encourage high school students and university students to choose to study Economics. I think it will help build a better society, but I also think having more people with economics training is good for businesses, community groups and individuals themselves.’” by the Research School of Economics. When asked about the Research School, Leigh says he sees the school’s strength in its “very diverse range of economists,” concerned about in addition to their academic work. For students, this means the economics of real life… can do plenty of that at ANU.” Rabee Tourky, ANU’s new Director of the Research School of Economics, stated on Tuesday evening that it’s in Australia’s national interest that the ANU have one the best economics schools in the world. Tourky envisions ANU’s School of Economics as the “home of economics in Australia” and views Leigh’s book as an important accessible insight into how economists think. For Leigh, however, the book represents much more. In his speech on Tuesday evening, in economic advantage, pointing

to examples in height and beauty in income as evidence that success should not be placed on too high a pedestal. Asked political positions, Leigh said, “If there’s a link from my previous book Battlers and Billionaires, which focused on inequality, and The Economics of Just About Everything, it’s that luck matters.” Identifying himself as progressive, Leigh opines that “progressives tend to believe that many of our outcomes are due to luck,” such as the challenges we face in life or “being born with a set of genes which are well rewarded by the community at the time we’re born.” “The example I always imagine was if I was born 5000 years ago, where a slight build and bad eyesight means that I would have been easy prey for sabretooth tigers. Conversely, the kind of blokes who would have done very well against sabretooth tigers do quite badly in today’s labour market.” With an accomplished academic career behind him and having established a promising start to his parliamentary career, it’s safe to say Andrew Leigh has done to him.

Week 3, Semester 2, 2014.

BORING IS BETTER: FIVE REASONS WHY COPENHAGEN IS BETTER THAN LONDON DAVID WINTER

TRAVEL If you ever have the privilege to speak to someone from Copenhagen they might modestly tell you, like some recently told me, how boring their city is. If you manage to reverse the hypnotism of their blue eyes, don’t listen to them. As I found out on a recent trip to Copenhagen and London, the city has something for everyone, and is far from overshadowed by its overbearing uncle across the sea. 1. The People Go to any of London’s many airports (I went to Stansted, Gatwick and Heathrow) and you will notice how pale, overweight and bald many British tourists are. Go to Copenhagen’s main airport and people are, for the most part, tall, blonde and tanned. More important than how appetising the population is, is the far greater gender the amount of dirty, sexualised language of Copenhagen and London is truly surprising. Women are more independent and commonly crack onto and pick up men in much of Scandinavia, a sight I witnessed multiple times. As one woman told me: Copenhagen’s bars are also open much later (and are far less violent) than in the UK (or Australia). 2. Design Scandinavian design is famous throughout the world. Copenhagen’s many furniture/ interior design shops have some of the most beautifully crafted objects you are ever likely to see. Unfortunately, the prices often

of the city’s buildings are also striking. Buildings are similar in colour to Notting Hill or Brighton, but this is an aesthetic that is everywhere, not just in one suburb or town, and they are far better looked after.

centre of Copenhagen. It would take you half a second in London, which is not far 5. Public goods

David Winter writes to you from a hipster café in the heart of London’s East End, while the Temptations, Otis Redding and Smoky Robinson swirl around the air. 3. Bikes There are a few reasons why Copenhagen has far less congestion than London. of people. Secondly, everyone rides. This is not by accident. All-day street parking around Copenhagen is comparable in price to a parking garage on Pitt Street in Sydney. Bike lanes are everywhere and are the same size as car lanes in many parts of the city. Riders also have right of way over pedestrians and cars, and some bikes aren’t even locked up on the streets. 4. Cleanliness No surprises here. Copenhagen is far cleaner than London. It takes you hours to

The lowest income tax bracket in Denmark pays 40% of their total income. So, you would expect many public services of a high quality. However, as someone from the more ‘liberal’ side of the ‘modernized’ or ‘developed’ world (UK, US, Australia etc.) seeing and hearing about the provision of high quality public services is still surprising. Healthcare and education are, of course, the standouts - education The metro is also undergoing massive upgrades, with new lines and stations being built all around the city. Public goods and services (e.g. the metro) often have built-in extra capacity - unlike London or Sydney who are in a constant infrastructure catch up game (London far ahead of Sydney in public transport). Public goods and better than many private services that used to be publicly owned. This is not a call for public ownership. Far from it. This is far from a call for public ownership, but rather is recognition that contrary to what we are told in the laws of economics, public does Copenhagen airport’s rich, dark, wooden airport that is not an unpleasant place to be in is always a nice way to start a trip.

WORONI No.9 Vol.66

SETTLERS OF CATAN A REVIEW OF THE EPIC BOARD GAME REVIEWS Many years ago, my family was dining at the house of my father’s psychologist friend. Dinner had been dispensed with, and the older generation was settling in to wine and discussion of real estate, when I stumbled across the adult son of said psychologist-friend. He invited me to play a game with his partner and him, and there, later I convinced my parents to let me spend $100 on said game, “The Settlers of Catan”. For those of you who aren’t quite on the trendy side of culture who haven’t yet seen an episode of “Orange is the New Black” or watched Disney’s “Frozen” “The Settlers of Catan” is a board game, but one entirely unlike the Monopoly or Scrabble set of your youth. “Catan”, as fans call it, is a Euro-game; a style of board game typically involving less chance and requiring a greater degree of co-operation than other games.

JOEL DIGNAM In “Catan” you are settlers of an uninhabited island (or “foreign investors”, as Tony Abbott might say), building settlements, roads and cities to establish yourself. Each new structure increases your production from

in a single weekend, often with the same participants. While we stopped short of creating a ladder system, family lore still records who the strongest player is, and interstate siblings hone skills in anticipation of a rematch.

and mountains, growing your wealth and enabling further development. Yet the best players will never go it alone - it’s a shrewd balance between collegial trading, economic partnership, and cut-throat Machiavellianism that will bring about success.

So far I’ve answered the question: which board game? But perhaps some are also wondering: why board games? To which I would say: it depends on what you like. In my experience, board games

“Catan” took a while to catch on for my family. There were ten of us, so we were never short on numbers, but it became hard to coordinate games with so many varied social schedules. Yet as the weekend commitments of sport and casual work, “Catan” became a steady go-to game. It wouldn’t be unusual for the family to complete three games

friends. They are no substitute for a wonderful shared meal, or a stimulating, wandering conversation. But once the dessert has been packed away, and conversation has begun to stray into recounts of internet documentaries, perhaps it’s time to get out the dice? You’ll get to another’s company*, challenging yourself intellectually, and the game itself probably costs less than 3 adult tickets to the movies

(not that that’s saying much, but the physical game will last much longer). Next time you’re at a mate’s house and you spy the familiar red and a bookshelf, humour me. After dinner, instead of settling down to watch videos of the intrepid Sarah Ferguson (which generally, I would say, is an excellent way to spend the time), try settling down to a game of “Catan”. With a bit of luck you’ll have a steady longest road to victory. Just don’t be surprised if your vanquished opponents demand a rematch.

*It has been noted that games of “Catan” can divide friends and thwart nascent romances, so make sure to be careful before placing the robber.

CAN THE REDS COPE WITHOUT S U A R E Z ? SPORTS NEWS Josh Chu-Tan writes about the controversial striker’s move from Liverpool F.C. to F.C. Barcelona.

It is not very common to have a striker in your ranks that can instill so much fear in your opposition the way Luis Suarez did for Liverpool. However, with the controversial Barcelona and Camp Nou, the question begs: can Liverpool cope without Suarez? The numbers are pretty straightforward, without their talismanic forward, Rodgers’ men have lost a player who can deliver 31 goals in a season. Luis Suarez was more than that though. brilliant player and nobody can deny that. It’s not only Suarez’s goals that Liverpool will miss, it’s the aura that surrounded him when he stepped onto the pitch. Defenders trembled at the sight of him running at them and the had a player like him that could make such a their ranks, other players were able to run into the holes left on the pitch due to the attention Suarez garnered whenever he made the Suarez didn’t only score, he also is a great provider of goals, delivering 12 assists last season (one less than captain Steven Gerrard) with 2.6 key passes per game.1 There is no doubt that the Reds will miss their star striker, but with the £75 million in the bank from his transfer to the Catalan giants, the funds are there to strengthen the squad. How Liverpool’s manager Brendan Rodgers plans to use this money is vital and could set a precedent as to how Liverpool play in the next season, something that former manager Kenny Dalglish didn’t master after the sale of Fernando Torres in 2011.

JOSH CHU-TAN, SPORTS SUB-EDITOR Attackers Rickie Lambert, Adam Lallana, Emre Can and Lazar Markovic have already been brought to Merseyside to increase the depth of the squad, with center back Dejan Lovren secured to tighten up the back line. Forward Daniel Sturridge must step up now Although injury prone, he scored a solid 21 goals last season, providing a further seven assists. With Sturridge knowing he will be the Liverpool can continue their success without Luis Suarez. The England international was quoted in the Daily Mirror saying, “Liverpool is a huge club, it’s an elite club and people don’t realise that. We have a lot of players who can step up. Luis has left and that is football, he’s moved on.” “For me, with the signings the manager has made – exciting players, young players, real up and comers – we are going to have that winning mentality. Players come and go, that’s the nature of the game. Some will remain at a club their whole career like Stevie Gerrard and some will move. “It doesn’t matter. We will still have the mentality to move forward, be an exciting squad, playing attacking football, and that’s the Liverpool way. We will continue to do that.”2 Liverpool is bigger than one man. The same was said when Fernando Torres left for Chelsea and now the transfer of Luis Suarez has warranted the same response. It is an exciting, albeit nerve-wracking, period for Liverpool fans. Will Liverpool fall back into mediocrity the way the Spurs did after they sold Gareth Bale? Or can they push forward and move on the way big clubs do so well? A new hero has to arise, one that will keep the

t to whoscored.com. Interview from the Daily Mirror.

1 2

Week 3, Semester 2, 2014.

WORONI No.9 Vol.66

W ADVERTISEMENT: BY ANUSA

Artwork by Laura Wey

Week 3, Semester 2, 2014.

HOROSCOPES

THE H U NG OV E R MYSTICS

CREATIVE WRITING

Aries casual drinks, they said never trust the smiling faces they will steal your day

THE ARCTIC LEASON HOAY

Taurus soul thief in the night sneakers and thongs and bad songs

Like a chill wind from the Only my heart exists now, maybe “Another” is not a word, at all

Gemini A tourist; such a world that did not seize the fucking day Cancer waves crash on the shore wash cold over hardened shells high tide still lingers

Of narrow rock – then came tremors, A gross congregation of tumbling stone But a conglomerate bravely stuck itself out of the wall

Leo shenanigan fun hands and feet and long wild hair

Wistfully I look on, some Only because of the immediacy of now And I always thought that I would be that rock

Virgo scour blood stains from sheets you are no lady Macbeth darkness still lingers

But I am not sure if I took a wrong turn somewhere But I guess you showed me the way to -

Libra indecisiveness wages war with wants and thoughts

Well, only a gust that freezes over My now emaciated frame: The Arctic is no northern uncharted mystery but

beware quiet nights

SOMEHOW LOVE STUDYING

Sagittarius broken bottle trail hangover like a hammer take some Panadol

HAMISH DEAN Somehow the ego crushing, tiring nature of studying

brilliant wonder Somehow the lack of time for frivolous enjoyment is

Aquarius enjoy the regret from cigarette fumes and wine hide your credit fraud

Somehow I don’t just want to study but I need to like Pisces And somehow I like all this without knowing the

never bodes well at twilight

WORONI No.9 Vol.66

CAMPUS STYLE

Fashion never rests and neither does Woroni. This week Woroni welcomes the return of the much loved campus style section to its hallowed pages. This week our satorial hawk eye was cast onto a Wednesday afternoon at ANU Bar. It revealed the emergent trend of random-winterweekday-happy-hour-wear.

the

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Far Left: Riley Beaumont, ironically sporting an ANU ambassador t-shirt and quenching a hard earned thirst. Center: Mikhaila Jurkiewicz denim whil slyly commenting on the price of a jug. Right: An unidentifed fashionista elegantly strikes woolen winter warmth.

Below: Deb Mak earns the title of ‘Fashionista of the Week’ with her harmonious casual, clean style; coordinated accessories, practical warmth and a stragetic deployment of urbane leather.

Week 3, Semester 2, 2014.

ANUSA & WORONI

WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO SEE...

BEGIN AGAIN WHEN: 7:00PM MONDAY, 18TH OF AUGUST PRE-DRINKS: FROM 6PM IN THE PROSECCO BAR WHERE: CINEMA 4, PALACE ELECTRIC CINEMAS, NEW ACTON NISHI BUILDING, 2 PHILLIP LAW STREET TICKETS: ON THE ANUSA FACEBOOK PAGE SOON!

LIKE JOHANSSON BUT LESS WOODEN In this fortnight’s Satire By Satyros, Thomas Antioch talks about his issues. (Warning: this article contains

In the past two months I’ve spoken to 17 psychologists about my commitment issues. It’s a big step for me but my panic attacks were just getting worse. I know there’s nothing to fear but fear out of my fucking mind. Plus I might be a hypochondriac, though I think I’m just being paranoid. But the reason this is such a big step for me is this: I have a fear of psychologists. I know that sounds crazy and implausible and like a really bad premise, but it’s true. Every night I have dreams about people analysing my dreams. I realised that the only way to solve this was to see a psychologist about it. And, after hyperventilating during 16 sessions, my 17th shrink and I started to make progress. She seems to think that a lot of my problems stem from my unhappy

Satyros is the ANU’s most prestigious and only comedy club.

SATIRE BY SATYROS THOMAS ANTIOCH

childhood. You see, when I was young my father routinely exposed me to Freudian analysis. My father was a brutally strict Freudian who often boasted about having an id/ego ratio of 6.3. When I was ten, he analysed one of my dreams (the one where Scarlett Johansson is rubbing two watermelons against my face) and quickly concluded that I had an unhealthy obsession with his penis. From then on he spent hours each day describing it to me in great detail, making sure that on each mention my pupils didn’t dilate and I didn’t start salivating. He used to draw pictures of his penis in the back of my schoolbooks. One day I came the television with a giant latex One night, in order to stop my supposed infatuation, my father stood up at the dinner table and,

gaping mouth. in a wig, lipstick and a miniskirt, placed it on the mantelpiece and said, “That should stop all strange thoughts about it.” And for a while he was correct – my mind felt much cleaner. Yet one afternoon I found myself spending an inordinate amount of time in front of the mantelpiece, polishing my father’s ex-penis. It was strangely captivating; the full red lipstick and blonde wig made it look like Scarlett Johansson in genital form… Suddenly I heard footsteps in the hall. I didn’t want dad to catch me thinking about his Johansson phallus! I turned to run but bumped heavily into the mantelpiece in my panic. I fell the edge. My jaw dropped as I watched the penis fall towards me. It landed, softly, in my

My father walked into the room to see me sprawled on the member. My father, the strict Freudian, realised his worst nightmare was true: I obviously had a repressed desire to smoke cigars. He broke down and wept. Father loathed smoking. He’d hated it ever since he’d worked for a cigarette company. The work there disgusted him so much he quit in 1993. He quit again in 1994, and then again in 1995, twice good in 1997 after getting a job cryogenically freezing turkeys. Just telling this story has really helped me overcome my fear of psychologists. In fact, I’m starting to develop a bit of a crush on mine. There’s just something about her blonde hair and red lipstick that makes my jaw drop.

THIS WEEK’S “LOL MY THESIS SERIES” COMES FROM THE ANU RESEARCH SCHOOL OF PSYCHOLOGY...

“Sharing is caring. Unless it’s something that I want…then its mine!”

“The brain processes

– Alice, Social Psychology Honours

– Rhiannon, Perceptual Psychology Honours

“People always like to have a say. Except when they don’t. That changes things.” – Sarah, Social Psychology

ORONI COMPLAINTS? CALL DIRECTLY AND REGISTER YOUR COMPLAINT HERE: (02) 6247 5145

THE PUBLIC PHONE BOOK

ANU VIGOROUSLY PROSTITUTES TO FETISHES OF NARCISSISTS SATIRE

HEYWOOD GIBLOMI

On 25th July the ANU Council convened to debate a wide range of important issues. Amongst the many mind-boggling topics that were discussed, the ANU Council heard a proposal to establish the Sub-Committee for Naming, responsible for the naming of ANU assests.

Hughes-Warrington Bar, the Peter Slipper School of Finance, the Ian Young Center

Colin Taylor, Director of Endowment for Excellence (that’s his actual title), said that the Sub-Committee would “meet

This new direction has also stirred strong attention from outside the university with a Tony Abbott Scholarship For My Daughters being ejaculated from across

fetish for writing their names on physicial and non-physical assets.” A suggestion has been put forward to give a name to the deep-rooted nihilistic angst of the ANU Socialist Alternative. There were immediate proposals of nameless things that the Sub-Committee for Naming could name, namely the Cam Wilson Gender Institute, the Marnie

rumors overseas of a North Korean bid for ‘The Eternal President’s Fund for Advanced Nuclear Research’. The incredibly well endowed Colin Taylor concurs with the coucncil opinion that the potential for names to be a “come-hither for other future benefactors.”

MORONI IS NOT VERY SMART. We invite the ANU community to spend countless sweaty hours.. minutes.. seconds... solving the soduku we couldn’t

6 5 2

Relations and The Balls of Gareth Evans (in reference to the stone spheres around campus that prevent the passage of vehicles).

4 9

4 7 3

1ST PRIZE: A JUG AT ANU BARTO BRING YOU BACK TO OUR LEVEL.

Moroni brings you an exquisite and invaluable selection of telephone numbers. For when a tweet just doesn’t cut it. , Australian Parliament: (02) 6277 4372 (In case Clive asks you to pick some up): (02) 6248 8494 Department of Human Mobility: 0011 44 20 7278 0809 ’s Presidental 0011 7 (495) 625 3581

MORONI PRESENTS

LIFE HACK OF THE WEEK

OPEN A BEER WITH YOUR SEAT BELT WHILST DRIVING!!