Woroni Edition Two 2016

Hidden Stories Woroni Issue 2, Vol. 66

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Page 19

Schmidt: CHL Cuts Will Not Be As “Savage As Expected Ana Stuart

Hidden Stories: A World in Art Emma Hodges

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Letters From Brian

Woroni Interviews The Gypsy Scholars Georgia Grimaudo

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Page 37

Trigger Warnings: Please Read Carefully Claire Lenehan

Your Horoscope for the Month of March Zoe Saunders

Woroni Week 2, Semester 1, 2016

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Issue 2, Vol. 66

Hidden Stories

Photos from the Woroni Archives This Issue: Curated by Ria Pflaum, Print Editor

Woroni

Week 2, Semester 1, 2016

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Issue 2, Vol. 66

Hidden Stories

News

Arts & Reviews

Sport

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Schmidt: CHL Cuts Will Not Be As “Savage As Expected Miguel Galsim

Hidden Stories: A World in Art Emma Hodges

ISO: The Lowdown on Term 1 Madhuri Kibria

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Desert Art Comes to ANU Fi Wilson

Roller Derby: A KickAss Sport On Skates Nikki Armstrong

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Building Bridges with Words + Pictures Shan Crosbie

You Can’t Fly in Real-Life Quidditch Merryn Christian

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The Niche Art of Mountain Unicycling Nikki Armstrong

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Pauline Griffin Building to Make Way for New Seven Storey RSSS Building Mark Han Schmidt Commences with a Cracker Ana Stuart and Andrew Cavanagh

Comment 7

Is Diversity at University the Best Thing for Students?

Brody Hannan 8

Economics: The (Not So) Dismal Science Flint O’Neil

Art in Woroni

Satire & Humour

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Woroni Interviews The Gypsy Scholars Georgia Grimaudo

Area Woman Admits to Purposefully Losing Her iPhone “For The Thrill” Jeevan Haikerwal

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Double Degrees, The University Medal and The Law of Unintended Consequences Anonymous

The Gypsy Scholars With Azim Zain and His Lovely Bones at Parlour Georgia Grimaudo

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Letters From Brian

Woroni Radio Playlist: Hidden Stories Brendan Keller-Tuberg and Mark Wilson

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Safer Spaces Policy, and Why You Should Read One Tom Kesina Trigger Warnings: Please Read Carefully Claire Lenehan 14

Beyond the Surface: How Culture and Community Shapes my Identity Sam Provost

Grammys Wrong Again: Why Kendrick Lamar Should Have Gotten Best Album Phyllida Behm

Life & Style 30

Campus Style

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The Woes of Having a Womb-Mate Grace Zhang

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Make-up Myth: Cosmetics and Choice Rose Pearce

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#DisabilityDISRUPT Siobhan Kathleen

International

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Why We Are Vegans Ellen Makaryan and Harriet Kesby 18

When a Resident Shows Signs of Psychological Distress Anonymous

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Ekta – ANU South Asian Students’ Society Mihir Kale and Neeraja Shankar

Woroni is published on the land of the Ngunnawal people.

‘Woroni’ translates to ‘mouthpiece’ in the Ngunnawal language.

Contact

Advertising inquiries and submissions can made at: advertising@woroni.com.au Phone: (02) 6125 9574 Shop 15, Lena Karmel Building 26 Barry Drive, Acton 2601 Woroni is printed by Capital Fine Print.

Board of Editors

ANUSA’s Hypernova Review: Hyper Feels Rory Caddis

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Acknowledgement of Country

A How To Guide For Men’s Rights Activists: Dealing With Feminism in the Modern Age Ruby Smyth 37

Your Horoscope for the Month of March Zoe Saunders 48

Finding True Love at Burgtoga: The Venn Diagram As Explored Through Tom Cruise Movie Characters Madhav Fisher

Editor In Chief - Waheed Jayhoon Deputy EIC - Mitchell Scott Managing Editor - Liam Osawa News and Events - Andrew Cavenagh Content - Ria Pflaum Radio - Caitlin Magee Creative - Joanne Leong

Staff

Admin Assistant - Gowrie Varma Proofreader - Siobhonn Shannon Financial Controller -

Brendan Greenwood

Sub-Editors

Managing Assistant - Rhys Dobson Marketing - Derek Wu News - Ana Stuart News - Mark Han News - Pamela Hutchinson News - Miguel Galsim Design - Eva Krepsova Art - Shan Crosbie Comment - Nishanth Pathy Features - Bronte McHenry Arts & Reviews - Gabriele Naktinyte International - Paroksh Prasad Life & Style - Phyllida Behm Science - Alissa Li Sport - Madhuri Kibria Satire - Zoe Saunders Professional Development

- Charlie Austin Photography - Olympia Maselos Radio Technical Officer -

Jamie Palamountain Presenter Liaison - Finn Pëdersén Music/DJ - Brendan Keller-Tuberg Events and Sports - Brittany Wallis Social - Hannah Wright

Week 2, Semester 1, 2016

Woroni

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Schmidt: CHL Cuts Will Not Be As “Savage” As Expected Miguel Galsim ANU and CAP Administration signalled that staffing cuts to the School of Culture, History and Language (CHL) would not be as severe as previously predicted, and that some assistance will be given to affected Higher-Degree Research (HDR) students.

However, definite enrolment and budgetary figures were not given, and the number of staff to be cut remains unclear and few assurances were given to the CHL’s overworked professional staff.

This information was revealed at a staff meeting with Vice Chancellor Brian Schmidt and CAP Dean Veronica Taylor on February 8, as well as at a HDR forum with ANU and CAP Administration on February 16.

According to Taylor, a document outlining the proposed changes will be released in the week of February 21, which would be followed by a consultation period between CHL staff, students, and the administration. From mid-March to the end of April, the changes will then be carried out, thus completing the review process by the end of the semester.

On February the 7th, Woroni published an exclusive report on the CHL internal review process that has left staff and students demoralised, disaffected, and overworked. Recent meetings between ANU Administration and concerned parties within the CHL have attempted to clarify the scope of this review and its effects on CHL staff and students.

Administration Conducts Forum on HDR Grievances In a forum organised by Committee of Concerned CHL HDR Students (CCCH), Taylor said that “the [administration’s] intent is to make sure that there is minimal disruption and that a minimum amount of people are affected.”

She also stated that the number of people affected will be “less than speculated.” However, figures for staffing cuts were not provided.

The concerns of the CCCH regarding visa revocations, morale, and supervision – previously investigated by Woroni – were discussed by the senior administrators at the forum.

Addressing international student visas, Professor Jenny Corbett, Pro Vice-Chancellor (Research and Training), stated that if visas do lapse because of the CHL review process, ANU will cover the cost of reapplication.

Corbett also recognised that low morale levels had “[effects] on

[HDR students] abilities as researchers” and referred students to mental health programs on campus as well as the hardship funds available to HDRs. Otherwise, no specialised mental health services were being offered to affected CHL students, as they have been to staff.

Additionally Dr Paula Newitt, Dean of Students, offered her services to students with grievances, stating that “HDRs in particular can feel extremely uncomfortable and vulnerable when raising concerns with powers that be,” citing her mediatory role in the ANU.

Regarding the possible cutting of supervisors, Taylor told the forum that specialised arrangements for affected supervisors will be made, and other academics in the CHL, particularly emeritus, would be considered to fill the void. She also underlined that it would be possible to bring in academics from other areas of the ANU, or even other institutions in Australia or around the world.

Students in attendance were also concerned with notification given to incoming HDRs about the CHL’s trouble with the review.

Luigi Tomba, current Associate Dean (HDR) at CAP, said that incoming students in 2016 were told to consider postponing enrolment until the CHL’s future was clearly established. This was particularly the case if they were not fully funded.

However, the 2015 intake was not informed, with Chris Ballard, incoming Associate Dean (HDR), citing the CHL’s undeveloped position on the review process at the time.

Ballard also addressed the limited amount of tutoring positions available to HDRs, and labelled them a recurring problem throughout the history of the CHL. He said that unlike CASS, there are few opportunities to teach. Furthermore, he said the financial resources were not available to give everyone teaching experience and fieldwork resources at the same time.

It is unclear whether or not these promises will be fulfilled.

Brian Schmidt Clarifies Vision for CHL Changes Speaking to a CHL staff meeting, Vice-Chancellor Schmidt stated that “we do have a way forward, by taking a really long term view, which will still involve some job losses. But it is considerably less savage and less disruptive than would have been indicated to [CHL staff] at the end of last year.”

He said that he first became aware of the review in September

2015, and was “unpleasantly surprised” when he was made aware of the full scope of the review on January 4. It was not made clear why it took several months for this disclosure to be made.

Moreover, most cuts will take the form of voluntary arrangements, but Schmidt noted that there would be a “handful of redundancies.”

During his speech Schmidt reiterated the problems present within the CHL, statements that correlated with both the external review and Woroni’s interviews with CHL staff and students. He said that “what we need to do is be sustainable,” particularly given the CHL’s strategic importance to the ANU.

Schmidt hoped to improve the CHL’s standing by rebuilding the Master’s program to make it more financially lucrative and attractive to students. He also intended to improve the CHL’s PhD completion rate. Underlying this, he emphasised the importance of marketing the CHL’s programs in order to increase enrolments – a major source of revenue.

However, some staff were sceptical of these intentions. Speaking in his capacity as an academic at the CHL, Dr Mark Donohue felt that while Schmidt “means what he says,” he was unsure of the accuracy of the information being given to the Vice Chancellor.

Additionally, he was not convinced that the Master’s programs at the CHL would be able to be revamped so easily. Donohue was also unsure as to how self-marketing could be achieved when no clear budget has been provided for that purpose. Ultimately, Donohue and others did not find the talk largely significant, especially given the continuing uncertainty surrounding budgetary figures and the number of positions to be cut.

Schmidt’s talk also addressed the “top-heavy” nature of the CHL, responding to a staff member’s concerns. He acknowledged that the CHL held a disproportionately large amount of senior and emeritus staff, and wanted a “balanced staff profile.”

To do this, he encouraged the CHL to connect with its students and wanted to create more opportunities for HDRs to teach. He did not specify if staffing cuts would be implied in this scheme.

He emphasised the importance of high-quality PhD and research programs to the CHL’s excellence. Responding to HDR student frustrations at being told that they are not profitable, he reiterated that PhD researchers are needed for the CHL’s prestige despite not making money.

The VC also encouraged the continu-

ing admission of Laureate fellows.

Similarly, the outgoing and incoming CHL Directors encouraged more applications for DECRA-level fellowships at the CHL from the Australian Research Council (ARC).

A current ARC fellow at the CHL thought that it would be “counterproductive to target [ARC fellows]” in the cuts. Whilst the ARC pays for only half of their salaries, the fellows are credited with bringing revenue and prestige to ANU through their publications. Additionally, while ARC fellows may be criticised for not teaching, the CHL’s enrolment problems give few teaching opportunities to begin with. The CAP-mandated drawback of tutoring positions also reduces these teaching opportunities.

Fate of Professional Staff Still Unclear The meetings of February 8 and 16 did not clarify the future of CHL professional staff, despite being continuously stressed and overworked.

At the CCCH forum, Taylor acknowledged the recommendation to increase support for professional staffing. She stated that there would be at least one professional staff member to manage HDR students, and that they would be present throughout most of the week with support from CAP. Schmidt, in his speech, highlighted that professional staff are given support from Administration.

However, the CHL at the time of writing has only four fulltime professional staff to administer 90 academics and 180 HDR students.

This creates a ratio of approximately one professional staff member to every 68 individuals at the CHL, or one professional to every 23 academics.

Additionally, having only one staff member to administer 180 HDR students would inevitably cause strain on the employee in the position, as highlighted by interviewed academics and students.

When compared with the rest of the ANU, the CHL’s professional-to-academic staff ratio is dramatically disparate. According to 2014 data, CASS employed 134 general staff alongside 240 academics, and CAP employed 194 general staff alongside 280 academics.

Taylor and Schmidt did not give definite responses regarding the nature and magnitude of support professional staff would be given.

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Issue 2, Vol. 66

Hidden Stories

Pauline Griffin Building to Make Way for New Seven Storey RSSS Building Mark Han The ANU has revealed that the Pauline Griffin Building will be demolished to make way for a new Research School of Social Sciences (RSSS) building.

In an email to all College of Arts and Sciences (CASS) students on February 18, the Dean of CASS, Professor Paul Pickering, said that the first new building for the CASS since 1963 will be an exciting opportunity to create a new home for the RSSS. The new building, which is still subject to approval, is expected to break ground in mid-2016 with a planned completion date of early 2018.

The new $50 million project was first announced in 2014 and will be one of the first noticeable changes to take place that was outlined by the 2030 Campus Master Plan. The plan, released in 2010, aims to consolidate areas of campus dedicated for academic colleges by streamlining building usage through existing and new buildings. The new RSSS building will facilitate the College of Asia and the Pacific (CAP) to take over the Coombs

building, where they currently share with RSSS and some departments of CASS. The Pauline Griffin Building, built in 1965, was designed by prominent post-war Australian architect Sydney Ancher to serve the burgeoning student community of the Canberra University College. The building housed the student union, administrative offices and retail outlets which made the building a popular centre for social life on campus before 1972.

The building’s future had been up in the air since the inception of the 2030 Master Plan, which raised concerns from the Australian Institute of Architects (AIA) over the heritage value of the existing building. An assessment was conducted in response to these concerns and recommended the preservation of the building wherever possible as it met the criteria for the Commonwealth Heritage List due to its historical, social and representative heritage.

However, the ANU has chosen pro-

pose the demolition of the building.

“The existing structure is unable to be renovated to comply with modern building and workplace standards,” Pickering said in the email. Liam Short, an associate for Hassell, the architectural firm responsible for the RSSS building, explained that many aspects of the Pauline Griffin Building were not suitable for renovation, such as the low floor-to-ceiling height and lack of accessibility for disabled students.

Chris Grange, the ANU Executive Director of Administration and Planning, said that the ANU is looking to retain the heritage and iconic elements of the Pauline Griffin Building.

“The University is committed to ensuring the design principles of the original building are reflected in the new design,” Grange said.

It will incorporate the expansive views of the Meadow into an open air public space on the ground floor, with the rest of the building occupied by offices for the entire RSSS faculty. The build-

ing will also incorporate an existing footpath to create an axis of connectivity for cyclists and pedestrians from Hancock Library to Ellery Crescent.

The new seven storey building will also set a precedent for further midrise developments at the ANU, such as the planned Union Court redevelopment.

Concerns have already been raised about the impact that will arise from the demolition and construction of the RSSS building, especially since the neighbouring Melville Hall is a commonly used exam venue. The accessibility of Ellery Crescent during construction and demolition also is another pertinent issue.

Consultation on the new RSSS building, currently in its final design and planning stages, will be open for feedback from students, staff and other stakeholders in a forum on March 9 at the Sir Ronald Wilson Theatrette where representatives from the ANU and Hassell will be present.

Schmidt Commences with a Cracker Ana Stuart and Andrew Cavenagh It is a rare event when one of the keynote speakers begins an event by taking selfies with members of the crowd, and even rarer when it is the one of the first public acts of a new Vice-Chancellor. Yet, this action marked the start of Brian Schmidt’s first major public appearance since taking over the Vice-Chancellorship, a contrast to the established tradition of the commencement address.

The 2016 commencement address was a modern one. In contrast to previous years, the event was organised by the Chancellery Office instead of ANUSA, on University Avenue instead of Llewellyn Hall and heavily promoted by student groups. The change in location, format and hype for the event resulted in the largest turnout in recent years.

Starting the address with a Welcome to Country, performed by Postgraduate student Robert Williams, who spoke of the history of the land surrounding ANU, the ceremony also included traditional Indigenous music, and the importance of closing the gap was a strong theme throughout the address.

2009 Australian of the Year,

Professor Mick Dodson, director of the National Centre for Indigenous Studies was the first speaker. Using humour and wit to reinforce a message of reconciliation, he said that “education [was] the most important weapon you can use to change the world.”

MC and Deputy Vice-Chancellor (Academic) Marnie Hughes-Warrington, also reinforced this message, saying “our obligation is to make sure that […] everyone who wants to go to university and get an education has that opportunity regardless of where they are.”

Education Minister Simon Birmingham’s speech spoke about the importance of education in transforming life and society. However with deregulation not off the table and students unsure about the future of university fees, attendees were left without any sense of what to expect in the coming budget. Ultimately his message on education was uplifting, saying that “education [was] at it’s core about transformation.”

“The transformation of the lives of individuals, but it doesn’t just transform your lives. It transforms our society. It’s that transformation that

is so very, very critical that we derive from education.”

Current Australian of the Year, former Army Lieutenant David Morrison, best known for his stance on gender equality and cultural attitudes, was the next speaker. He spoke fondly of his time at the ANU, and openly discussed his “disorganised and chaotic” time as a student. Morrison encouraged students to “take nothing at face value.”

“What concerns me most today is that in the face of some truly epic challenges that we as a species now confront, we hear too loudly the voices of unreasoned, invective and scorn,” Morrison commented.

“My experiences have shown me the enormous value in the true diversity of thought, founded on education and respect for the views of others, and that’s why I do value diversity.”

The highlight for many, especially returning students, was Brian Schmidt’s first public address since taking on the role of Vice-Chancellor.

His address was uplifting and inspiring.

“You are at the moment that

is one of the most exciting in your life.

Savour it. Approach it with verve. Enjoy every moment of it. These are days you will remember for the rest of your life,” he expressed.

When further asked by Woroni about access to education, Schmidt said that what he wanted the ANU to do, “knowing that it’s one university, is to represent the diversity of Australia.”

“I think we serve the nation best by being a place that is different from it’s 39 other universities.

We need to be a place which is that cross-section [of society.]”

Schmidt began by taking ‘The Pledge’ – a campaign started by the ANU Women’s Department, aimed to combat violence and abuse.

He spoke of the importance of acting on, not just taking, The Pledge, and working for equal opportunity, particularly in the context of a university where everyone should have a happy and safe experience.

Hopefully by making such a gesture Schmidt will act as a role model for all students at the ANU in the future.

Week 2, Semester 1, 2016

Woroni

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Is Diversity at University the Best Thing for Students?

Brody Hannan Like all residential halls, Burgmann College - my college - has its own culture, sense of community, and reputation. It’s renowned as a predominantly arts/law college with students mainly coming from the private schools of Sydney’s North Shore or Melbourne’s inner east.

But when the college announced that its first-year intake for this year would include more students outside the Sydney/Melbourne/Law demographic, I had mixed feelings. ‘More rural science students, like me’, I figured.

Diversity can’t be a bad thing, surely?

But then I thought back to my first year, where I struggled to fit in amongst people of an entirely different demographic. Not having many people study my subjects, I found it hard to get a study support network around me, and on an emotional level, I felt that I couldn’t relate to those

who had a very different schooling experience to me. It’s just a totally different world.

ANU has already seen what can happen when students feel isolated from the rest of the student population. In the Letters to Brian in the last edition of Woroni, we saw that even some international students are concerned about the “a higher rate of academic misconduct” in the international student body, and are often insular, having also “been shown to sometimes falsify the transcripts and English language requirements they use to gain admission to ANU”.

The problem is so severe, in fact, that every ANUSA ticket in the last few elections has focused on addressing the engagement and integration of international and otherwise estranged students into the rest of the ANU student body.

When you are disconnected from people around you, everything becomes an effort. You stop going out, stop playing sport, even group work makes you anxious. Your uni experience becomes simply awkward. You begin to resent your peers and university, until you become so depressed and twisted that university becomes a lonely nightmare.

ANU Vice-Chancellor Brian Schmidt has said on more than one occasion that he wishes for ANU to have more students from interstate, especially those from rural areas. He’s also expressed his desire for ANU to be the “Ivy League” of Australia.

ment, just for the sake of diversity?

Imagine an ANU where the fees are so large that only those from privileged backgrounds can attend. An ANU where the ATAR entry requirements are so high that only those that attended the best high schools can enrol. Imagine an ANU where the only ‘diverse’ students we have are the select few lucky enough to be on a full scholarship to come here.

Whilst I want ANU to be a prestigious and world-leading university, I also don’t want “diversity” to be nothing more than dumping our students into a hostile world without a lifeline.

With a vision which sees ANU become more elite however, as university fees and entry mark requirements increase, are we really doing the best thing by these students, throwing them into an unsupportive environ-

Photography by Samantha Ristic

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Issue 2, Vol. 66

Hidden Stories

Economics—The (Not So) Dismal Science Flint O’Neil

At ANU, the Development major requires little-to-no economics and instead offers a range of anthropology and political science courses. Development is a field that is highly concerned with growing a society and an economy, and yet the nation’s leading policy university only focusses on the former.

When future policy makers and students who aim to make a difference in the world ignore the framework of economics, they do both themselves and the world a disservice.

Artwork by Bridie Mackay

As a result, the policy responses outlined above both fail in their main objective to alleviate child-labour, whilst simultaneously coming across as yet another paternalistic western intervention. This is one of many problems in development studies, and a purely anthropological or political science approach leads to morally admirable but practically disastrous conclusions.

The line of thinking from non-economists is that the problems facing humanity can often be seen through a context of a failing societal moral fabric. When we live in a world where corporations exploit remote communities, nations permit atrocities in the name of self-interest, and billions still live in poverty whilst others enjoy a world class education, it is easy to sympathise with this view.

By contrast, the popular perception of economics is often that it is a field dedicated to the management of stocks and corporate profit maximisation. This is simply a mischaracterisation of the discipline, which more closely resembles an attempt to correct civilizational problems as we undergo persistent change and transformation.

In this respect, economics is uniquely equipped to deal with maximising social ‘good’ under constrained resources, whilst policy makers of other backgrounds often run the risk of empty foot stomping and grandstanding that ignores people’s basic incentives.

Take the great challenges of our generation: environmental conservation, poverty eradication and social justice.

ally fixed, with the amount of labour supplied held roughly constant. Thus, restricting imports created with child labour achieve little (the amount of labour used barely varies). Moreover, the various education campaigns used to fight child labour fail to address the fundamental truth that families often need their children to produce in the short-term to avoid starvation.

In many respects, this trilemma is the focus of ANU’s development major, yet these issues cannot be comprehensively understood without an explicitly economic framework.

For instance, consider the plight of Sub-Saharan African education rates (specifically female education). Under a standard anthropological or political approach, the pressure is for

activists to lobby governments to boycott child-labour produce and launch various education campaigns. This is an inherently moralistic approach that either ‘punishes’ those that do bad, or ‘enlightens’ rural families of the error of their ways. To those unequipped with economic knowledge, these policies may seem effective. In reality, supply of child labour is virtu-

China, Japan and the rest of the Asian tigers are an astounding example of the potential for economics to do good. If one’s goal is create an environment conducive to social justice whilst simultaneously eradicating poverty, then economics has particular and unique relevance. It was through targeted economic manipulation that these nations have managed to exploit global trade and thus fund things like social safety nets and broad based education. Just in the last 20 years, successfully harnessing economic policy in emerging markets has brought 400 million people out of poverty.

Policy without passion is barren, but passion without policy is futile. Economics may not be the most passionate discipline, but it is one of the most policy-oriented ones, and in this respect, activists would do well to leverage it as much as possible.

Double Black or Double Standard?

Rebecca Kriesler

Along with feminism came the critical question of whether or not it’s sexist and reinforces gender norms to buy drinks for girls at clubs and bars.

On face value, the answer is yes. In the 21st century where women fight to be perceived as equal, why should they receive handouts which consolidate an image of them as subservient and objects to be bought? While this argument has a lot of merit, it is my belief that regardless of how antiquated the tradition is, buying drinks is not only justified, but actually necessary as a crucial mechanism for equality. In a patriarchal society this tradition helps level out the playing field: for every

drink a man buys, he is doing his job to even out the pay gap.

It is a fallacy to assert that we have reached anywhere close to equality.

Frequently, people attempt to shut down discussion by saying we are better off than we were before. Yes, a lot of things are better off than they were before. Sure, we’ve stopped forcing people to fight to the death as entertainment, and we now acknowledge that women probably aren’t the property of men. However, some progress doesn’t mean a comprehensive solution. In fact, our complacency has meant the national pay gap has actually increased to 18.2%. Note

also that that very lesser income often has to pay for more expensive female products. A study of 800 nearly identical products with male and female versions released in December 2015 by the New York City Department of Consumer Affairs found that the women’s products, on average, cost 7% more than the men’s products.

There are endless statistics to this effect, but the message is clear: women are still majorly financially disadvantaged when compared with men.

In a context where true equality isn’t around the corner, since men are often in positions of power to determine wages, promotions and hiring,

I say we take every advantage we get without hesitation. I could lie and say that buying drinks now has a different meaning and that it isn’t used as a way to buy women’s affection, but I won’t patronize you. Let’s be honest - buying girls drinks is sexist and a double standard. However, so long as we live in a society where men receive innumerable benefits and women struggle to break even, it doesn’t hurt to have someone buy me drinks. That way at least I can get drunk enough to forget about the patriarchy, since at this rate I’m paid too poorly to afford drinks on my own.

Week 2, Semester 1, 2016

Woroni

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Double Degrees, The University Medal and the Law of Unintended Consequences Anonymous

The University Medal recognises students who have obtained First Class Honours and demonstrated exceptional academic excellence across their studies (i.e. a GPA greater than 6.5) As we settle into a new academic year, both new and returning students alike may find themselves facing one of the great dilemmas of university: whether to pick up, or drop, a second degree. While a single degree gives us greater opportunity to specialise with electives, a double degree allows for a broader university experience, but at the loss of the ability to specialise to the same extent. A common solution for double degree students is to complete Honours in their stronger discipline. Interestingly, the University has now adopted a policy that has the potential to effectively punish students wishing to undertake cross-disciplinary studies with Honours.

University Medal may not necessarily recognise the efforts of such students if their performance in their second degree is not quite as outstanding.

Ironically, it seems entirely possible that a lower ranking student within the same Honours cohort may be awarded a Medal if they have better grades in their second degree (if they have completed one), despite their results in the Honours discipline being the very thing that gives rise to their eligibility.

We are all fortunate to be at a university that provides us with the most choice and flexibility to undertake cross-disciplinary studies in Australia. We are encouraged to make the most of the opportunities that our great University presents to us, but we should be free to do so without consequence. While it is unlikely that students make the single or double degree decision based solely on maximising their chances of attaining a University Medal, the University should not punish students for choosing to broaden their learning with a double degree, and the University Medal system should reflect that.

In 2015, the University undertook a review of the University Medal, the recommendations of which have been implemented this year. While this appears to be a formalisation of existing procedure in part, some of the approved recommendations put double degree students at a disadvantage of having their achievements in their Honours discipline recognised. This policy specifically affects students who are outstanding in their Honours discipline, but do not necessarily possess the same natural affinity towards their other discipline. Such students now stand to miss out on the prestigious University Medal, with all courses in a double degree to be considered in evaluating Medal candidates as per recommendation 7.

It does not seem entirely logical that results in a student’s second degree should suddenly have a bearing on the award of a Medal when the minimum eligibility requirement (recommendation 5) considers the results in the Honours discipline exclusively.

An unfortunate consequence of this is that in some cases, a student who would otherwise be awarded a University Medal if they completed their Honours discipline as a single degree, may be no longer worthy of recognition, solely due to the results in their second degree. This becomes particu-

Artwork by Rachel Powell larly acute when there is little overlap between coursework in the two disciplines (and many of us have experienced variation in grading schemes between, and even within, Colleges).

Yet, recommendation 9 provides that all undergraduate courses be given equal weighting, regardless of their relevance to the very discipline that gives rise to eligibility for consideration.

Despite this inconsistency, the review

makes it clear that this is the direction the University wishes to take, with recommendation 10 removing the specified discipline area from the award altogether. The policy fails to recognise that individuals have inherent specialisations, often revealed by the discipline in which Honours is taken. At the end of the day, it is the people who are at the top of their field – the “thought leaders” as we like to call them – who are making the greatest contribution. However, the

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Issue2, Vol. 66

Hidden Stories

Letters from Brian In the first edition of Woroni, students wrote a collection of letters to Brian Schmidt, the new Vice-Chancellor of the Australian National University, advising how they would like their university to be run. In this edition of Woroni, for each letter you can find Brian’s reply. Enjoy.

Dear Professor Schmidt,

Your Excellency,

Your recent appointment as Vice-Chancellor brings renewed hope for all who care for the future of the ANU School of Music. The School needs your urgent attention if the ANU is to retain any integrity as an institution which values quality education.

With no instrumental teachers, no symphony orchestra and an extremely fragile staff situation, the ANU no longer offers competitive music degrees by either Australian or international standards. Enrolment is at an all-time low and standards have plummeted lower than even secondary school programs.

This is not just about music. It’s about academic integrity. The appalling treatment of staff and consequent impact on students has demonstrated apathy toward education and a preoccupation with cutting costs.

Professor Schmidt, please make the ANU about quality education, not saving money. Either that, or stop pretending the ANU values learning.

What you do to the School of Music will show Australia what your true priorities are.

Matthew Ventura

Dear Matthew Ventura I have visited the School of Music on February 2, and I hope you have seen our program to undertake a broad consultation on the School of Music.

I, like you, want a School of Music with an academic program that is relevant and of the highest quality – and I want the School of Music to be a department which can thrive here at the ANU. I urge your support and patience with the process.

You’ve said before that you want to keep the ANU a small university by Australian standards, with a greater number of students coming from interstate. You have also said that the ANU is close to Ivy League standard, and under your leadership, you hope to make the ANU into a world leading university.

But doesn’t your behaviour contradict these visions? Why spend millions of dollars building new student residences if you intend to keep the ANU small? We’ve just offered more early offers to high school leavers than ever this year, most of whom are from the Canberra region.

As we become more “elite” like the Ivy League, won’t we be making it harder for students from rural towns and state schools to get into the ANU? Shouldn’t we be focusing on improving services for our current students rather than making it harder for future students? I personally don’t want to see the ANU to become the next Harvard where only the richest of the rich or those who got the best marks by going to the best private schools can enter.

I’m worried that your visions for the ANU will be conflicting, and it will be the current minority students who will lose out.

A concerned rural student

Dear Concerned Rural student Being referred to as ‘Your Excellency’ is a first for me! I, like you, grew up in small towns in a rural part of the world. I want the students at ANU to reflect the entirety of the country, and be given an education as good as anywhere in the world.

So I hope my behaviour is completely in line with an ideal we seem to share in common. To enable student from around the country to come to ANU, we need student accommodation – definitely for students who are not from the region, but I would argue for everyone so that all can share the same collegiate experience.

I think the national university needs to provide an education with a difference – an elite – but not elitist! - education. An education that brings together a representative cross-section of Australia through its most talented people, to a common purpose of learning, and using what we have learned to make Australia and the world a better place into the future.

A real problem we have right now, is that the people who are able to attend the ANU, are those who live in Canberra, or are those rich enough to move here. We need to provide the means by which anyone who is admitted into ANU, can come here – independent of their own personal financial circumstances. This will take time, but is something I am passionate about. So, yes, it will be harder to get into the ANU in the future, because more people will want to come here than there are available places – but our incoming students will be more diverse and will better represent Australia than they do now.

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Ode to Schmidt by Caitlin McLeod

Dear Professor Schmidt,

The finest institute in the country we claim to behold But in two ways we do naught but fold: The opportunities we have to be sloshed and jolly Have been foiled by some past leader’s folly King’s cup in a dark room with only a select few Blinds drawn, door barred, room hushed, game ensues.

The merriment that follows is far from its potential But this could be fixed by a man with credentials If a certain vice chancellor by the name of Schmidt Would kindly allow us to play games when we drink.

We would certainly buy a bottle of his revered stuff and put it to good use inside a giant cup.

My second request from Mr Brian is if we could have on campus some iron in the form of a see-saw, a slide or a swing some equipment, it could be pretty much anything so instead of spending our time between classes in the library or co-op sitting on our arses we could swing on a swing or slide down a slide and I’m sure then in lectures we’d be much less tired.

And so alas I come to the end of my rhyming in which I know I’ve butchered the timing But please sir, take heed of my requests and in history you’ll go down as one of the best. (please abolish the no drinking games rule and please put some play equipment in on campus)

I am the child of an immigrant and spent a third of my life living in China. You often talk about your desire to make the ANU into an elite university - a desire that ANU students share. However, I fear that, due to financial considerations, you will overlook the current and potential effects on international students at the university.

Dear Caitlin McLeod Your rhyming couplets with their requests include Drinking Games to be at your behest.

But are drinking games so much fun, When afterwards you forget what was done?

As for swings and slides and other playthings Let me have a think of what we might bring.

In 2013 international students comprised 26% of ANU’s student body, and yet they have a higher rate of academic misconduct, are often insular, and have been shown to sometimes falsify the transcripts and English language requirements they use to gain admission to the ANU. I do not wish to slander all international students - by and large, they are each excellent members of the university, but I believe they are generally detrimental to the academic and creative standards that you wish for the ANU, so I implore you to lower international student numbers.

G. G. Bo

Dear G.G. Bo As a great university, we need a student cohort that is equally great and diverse – and this includes students from around Australia and around the world. The individuals who attend this university are responsible for their own actions – and I strongly believe it is unhelpful to stigmatise poor behaviour based on anything other than personal responsibility. It is imperative that we ensure all of our students, regardless of where they from, understand that they are buying into the collegiate environment of the university that is based on respect, trust and responsibility to each other.

We are all citizens of the world these days, and as part of a great university experience, we all will benefit from a diverse and exceptional international student cohort who can help us understand what happens outside of Australia, while we help them understand what happens within. I encourage you, and all other students, to befriend students from very different backgrounds than yourself. Everyone’s a winner then.

Perhaps something not quite as you envision Like a piece of art that serves your mission

Dear Vice-Chancellor Schmidt, Please take the ANU down a path where we not only strive to be excellent, but also be accessible to students across the nation. Implement a Disability Action Plan, and thereby demonstrate the ANU’s commitment to students and staff with disability. Increase the percentage of low SES students at ANU, and thereby demonstrate the ANU’s commitment to being a truly national university by including students from all states and backgrounds.

Dear Brian, I’m thirsty. Not thirsty for knowledge, no. The $150 Evidence textbook sitting on my desk next to me is enough knowledge. I’m thirsty for a drink.

Each Thursday afternoon, I frequent the bar to catch up with friends and wind down after a long week of law lectures and head scratching.

I’m thirsty for some of your wine, Brian. I’ve been on the waitlist for the Maipenrai Vineyard for two years now, narrowly missing out due to the email notification being filtered to my spam folder.

I love the ANU, and I know you do too. It’s because I love the ANU that I know it can do better, and be better. Carry out your promises to consult students, and listen to them about what they want the ANU to become.

Only together can we make the ANU great again!

I dream of this Nobel Prize Pinot Noir. When can we expect to see this wine in cask at ANU Bar? When will the bartenders pour me a glass of this wine that has been making headlines? There’s a shortage of wine being served, and it’s a niche for you to fill.

Yours sincerely, Tom Kesina - the ANUSA Disabilities Officer

Albert

Dear Tom Kesina Dear Albert Forefront in my vision for the ANU, is one of equity – equity in access to people across the entire nation independent of who they are. This include disability, but also gender, religion, culture, race, sexual orientation, and SES. I look forward to discussing with ANUSA what we can do to improve all of these things, including the access we provide to students with a disability.

The good news is we have more wine from 2014 and even more from 2015 on the way. I will see what we can do with respect to getting some wine, for those in the know, at the ANU-bar. Boffins often carry it – but they are sold out until next October!

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Issue 2, Vol. 66

Hidden Stories

Safer Spaces Policy, and Why You Should Read One Tom Kesina

In the past 24 months, there have been a spate of media outlets decrying the ‘weaponisation’ of Safer Spaces policies (SSP) as the infantilisation of ‘today’s youth’, and as a result, the end of critical inquiry. This has resulted in a public debate where hyperbole and mischaracterisation rule, and individuals who have never read an SSP are proclaiming that all SSPs, regardless of content, are antithetical to free speech. There are a lot of misconceptions about what a Safer Spaces policy (or Safe Space policy) actually is, and in this article I will attempt to explain what an SSP is, what they do, and why you should probably read one.

Photography by Hannah Axelson

er forms of discrimination occur on a daily basis. Societal change starts with us as individuals, and that extends to the communities we participate in.

Confronting the prejudicial attitudes and behaviours we’re socialised into believing from birth can be tremendously challenging, and a Safer Space ought to facilitate that. Safer Spaces policies are not meant to shut down discussion - they’re meant to facilitate it in such a way that everyone has the opportunity to participate equally, as well as critically reflect on how we can grow. Positioning ‘free speech’ and ‘safer spaces’ as complete opposites is a false dichotomy.

Are there flawed SSPs? Absolutely.

There isn’t some universal SSP that all us marginalised/minority groups secretly copy ours from - some SSPs are better written than others. Like all policies, the success or failure of an SSP comes down to implementation and there have certainly been instances where that has been done poorly.

They also require regular review, and a willingness to critically examine what has come before. If you’re interested in examining some of the challenges with SSPs and inclusivity, take a look at the work of Julia Serano.

What does an SSP actually look like?

There can be a huge amount of variation between SSPs in terms of structure and content. Some simply deal with general principles of behaviour, and others go into a huge amount of specific do’s and don’ts. As some of you may know, I occasionally shill as the ANUSA Disabilities Officer, and had the great privilege of drafting our interim SSP. The Disabilities Student Association (DSA) SSP contains three broad sections; general principles, specific behaviours that are encouraged/ discouraged, and dispute resolution/ mediation. You can go take a look at it here - https://goo.gl/FZ2NyQ.

Ultimately, SSPs are all unique documents that serve to set the tone for what a community expects of itself, and those who would participate in it.

They serve to facilitate reflection and growth, and are about opening up the discussion to more people rather than shutting it down. So to all those who have concerns about SSPs, give one a read - you may be surprised.

To quote the DSA SSP, “we use the language of Safer Spaces because we believe that spaces are not safe simply because we designate them as such - it’s a goal that requires the constant and unceasing effort of the community.” Far from trying to ensconce ourselves in a bubble, SSPs are about confronting the fact that we live in a society where racism, sexism, ableism, queerphobia and oth-

Trigger Warnings: Please Read Carefully Claire Lenehan There has been a lot of consternation in the media lately about how “millennials on campus” are becoming so scared of ideas that push the boundaries, that they have started calling for trigger warnings before lectures to avoid exposure to ideas that are different to their own. Free speech advocates argue that these warnings limit their ability to have valuable discussions about pertinent and quite often divisive topics, arguing that if

you can’t have these freely conversations in University, where can you have them? These sentiments are often vocally supported by those used to pushing the boundaries of debate and philosophy, and this vocal opposition has trickled down into the depths of the ANU Facebook group infamously known as ANU Stalkerspace. Very little defense or explanation of trigger warnings has been proffered in any of the multiple discussions relating to

the topic that have appeared on that group - to the extent that one explanation was taken from an article lampooning the concept - so I thought I would take the opportunity to tell you what you might not know about trigger warnings.

I’ll start this off with a definition of a trigger warning, just to make sure we’re all on the same page. A trigger warning is “a statement at the start of

a piece of writing, a video etc. alerting the consumer to the fact that it contains potentially distressing material.” It allows consumers to decide whether or not to continue reading or viewing content, not because the ideas involved in the content are too “scary” and they want to live in a world where everyone thinks the same, but because such content may trigger a highly emotional response, to the extent of potentially triggering flashbacks to

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trauma. Common topics that require trigger warnings may be; the discussion of/recounting episodes of suicide, sexual assault, physical assault, acts of racism or acts of ableism. This list can be expanded depending on context, to include depictions of war, torture, graphic medical procedures and many, many more.

illness, and this can have long lasting effects on an individual’s willingness to come forward, admit they need help, and seek treatment. When you comment on a controversial topic with “triggered” because you think it’s funny, you’re actually mocking an extremely painful reaction, to an extremely painful event.

A lot of us can read accounts of these situations and maintain a level of detachment. For a lot of people, it doesn’t require additional mental exertion to read about the above depictions, however, some people who have experienced these forms of abuse and mistreatment can require time to mentally prepare themselves before they are exposed to potential flashback fodder. But how prevalent are these people in our community? For some context, the ABS tells us that

Like a lot of people I thought trigger warnings would never apply to me, and while I would still include them when posting traumatic content to pages of political discussion, I was doing so out of courtesy rather than understanding. How could words hurt you? How could they provoke a physical reaction? This was my attitude until I was indecently assaulted in 2014.

It was not the first time I had faced a form of sexual assault, and it certainly wasn’t the worst or the most traumat-

more than 1 in 6 women over the age of 18 have experienced sexual assault, and for men we’re looking at closer to 1 in 20 (although both statistics ignore the fact that sexual assault is one of the most under-reported crimes).

If you consider the MIEACT proven fact that PTSD experts claim the likelihood that 50% of all people sexually assaulted will go on to develop a form of PTSD, then that is a lot of people at our university who could potentially be affected by traumatic content. And of course, this just relates to trauma relating to sexual assault, not any of the other forms mentioned.

ic, but it forced me to acknowledge all the feelings I had avoided and buried from previous assaults. When I called the police and instigated charges against my attacker, I had to deal with the fact that I had never before taken action, even when my safety was at risk. All of a sudden I had to deal emotionally with not only my most recent, but all of my previous assaults.

When we discuss the use of trigger warnings it is imperative that we remember that topics that may trigger responses are not abstract intellectual concepts to those triggered, but rather lived, traumatic experiences, and it is thus essential not to respond with mockery. Quite often what you are mocking is a presentation of mental

Resultantly, for several months after the event I suffered from something in between Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Acute Stress Disorder. I didn’t sleep, I was suddenly extremely anxious about everything, I no longer found comfort in human contact, I occasionally had flashbacks and I couldn’t walk by myself at night. I don’t like admitting this, especially to myself, and I definitely maintained a convincing façade of being alright… at least until I read an extremely ignorant article on the “appropriate response to sexual assault.” An article

that previously would have caused me irritation, even indignation, had me shaking and in shock. I couldn’t hold my hands still to type out a response.

The effect was profound. I felt like all my experiences of pain and assault were being doubted, and then I relived it all.

I didn’t ever want to need trigger warnings, and I definitely ignored them to my detriment. I didn’t even honestly admit to myself how badly I had suffered after this incident until I was participating in a session on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and I realized that I fitted four of the four diagnostic criteria. I didn’t want to be someone who needed to restrict what they read occasionally in order to look after themselves, until I realized it was imperative to conserve mental energy.

Even while I write this, I keep thinking “great, now I’ll be one of those people everyone thinks can’t handle tough situations”, “the next trigger orientated jokes will be on me”, and “I wonder how long it will be till someone openly doubts the severity of my story, or calls me weak.” This is exactly the kind of internal monologue you create in someone when you make jokes about trigger warnings.

When we laugh at someone’s mental illness, we are creating a culture that is delegitimizing their experiences, and we can’t then be surprised when they would rather not get treatment as a result.

What does it cost us, as a society, to put a trigger warning, totaling a few words, before an article that’s written, or above a link to a video? It isn’t actually a violation of free speech, as it isn’t actually stopping anyone from viewing it. It is just giving people the opportunity to assess their needs and

13 evaluate whether watching or reading this particular piece of communication is worth the mental energy required to keep their shit together. It’s not even a new concept! We have content warnings on every movie - that’s what the rating system involves. We are more than happy to put NSFW on a video we post on Facebook, and before any session on mental health, sexual assault, domestic violence or PTSD the presenter always lets us know we can leave the room at any time if we’re uncomfortable - and no one bats an eyelid.

I’m at a stage now where I only need trigger warnings when I’m extremely tired, or have had an extremely taxing day. I get home, go online, see posts with trigger warnings (which I usually read anyway) and instead of reading them I scroll down my newsfeed un-

til a baby animal appears. My use of trigger warnings hasn’t prevented me from engaging in intellectually taxing and topically contentious conversations, in fact, when I have the spoons, I really enjoy them. It just helps me conserve my energy better so that when I really want to do so, I can.

So, to be clear, trigger warnings aren’t a symptom of close-minded thinking by millennials at university, they are there to support the mental health and wellbeing of those who need them.

Should we really be derisive of that?

Artwork by Eva Krepsova

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Issue 2, Vol. 66

Hidden Stories

Beyond the Surface: How Culture and Community Shapes my Identity Sam Provost I am acutely aware that I don’t fit the ‘quintessential Aboriginal’ aesthetic that Australian society has determined. Many fair skinned Aboriginals are reminded of this when they meet people or bring up their heritage. We can’t help but feel judged as not being ‘real Aboriginals’, especially when defending our culture.

move from jovial to hysterical, even sorrowful, and often beyond what would be socially acceptable in typical non-Indigenous encounters. This stems from the sense that no matter where you are from or what you look like, if you are Aboriginal, and have a deep understanding of and/or connection to your culture, then you belong.

I am often met with a look of bewilderment, followed by either an encouraging smile or a furrowed brow, when I tell strangers that I am Aboriginal.

That is unless the person I am meeting is also Aboriginal, in which case our conversation is predicated with a question that provides the foundation for our burgeoning relationship: ‘Where are you from?’

When determining if a person is Aboriginal, the Australian government has three pre-requisites that are designed to weed out ‘system-abusers’.

The requisites for proof of Aboriginality are: to be of Aboriginal heritage, to identify as Aboriginal, and to be accepted as such by the community in which you live, or have lived.

The aim of this question is to place each other, in a geographical and familial sense, within our culture. Establishing where our Country is and who our mob are forms the basis of an empathic understanding between us. Once this ritual is observed, conversation can continue as is considered normal in Western society, but with a tangible sense of closeness. In a matter of moments fresh relationships can

Unfortunately, the various attempts at cultural genocide initiated by the Australian government since European colonisation can render proof of Aboriginality unattainable - even for someone with dark skin. Many individuals who were relocated, and also the children of interracial affairs who have had their culture purposefully ripped from them, can’t prove to the government that they are Aboriginal.

So, if you have a deep connection to

Country; if the story lines of your people run through you; if lore resonates within you, but the law says you can’t tick the box, how can you reconcile your identity?

Fortunately, First Nation’s culture has proven resilient against the war that has been waged against it. In ‘Getting to Maybe: How the world is changed’, Patton, Westley and Zimmerman describe resilience as ‘the capacity to experience massive change and yet still maintain the integrity of the original’.

I believe that this applies to Indigenous culture, post 1788. There has been a constant cycle of collapse, reorganisation, growth and conservation.

This process has seen a transition from 700 individual language groups to a mere 145. Rather than destroy us, this shocking loss of culture has united us all and hardened our resolve. Resilience means having an open heart in the face of brutality.

My identity doesn’t only consist of being Aboriginal, just as non-Indigenous people aren’t only Australian, Swedish, Chinese, or singularly defined by any other form of cultural heritage.

Instead, I believe that we owe the way

we see the world partly to individual experience, and partly to the values inherent in our culture.

Aboriginal culture has shaped the way I have, and will continue to experience the world. It has shown me the value of the land; the song lines that connect the Yuin Nation to Gulaga and Mumbulla; the shared ecological knowledge about what to eat and when; the use of music, dance and art as means for teaching; and what it means to hold the collective above the individual.

So now, every time that look of bewilderment, or that furrowed brow challenges the validity of my Aboriginality, it serves to bolster my understanding of culture so that it sits deeper, and stronger, within my identity.

Artwork by Caitlin Gifford

Week 2, Semester 1, 2016

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The Woes of Having A Womb-Mate Grace Zhang

It might seem strange to you, because of how fortunate am I to have had a partner in crime with whom I could swap classes, fool exasperated parents and trick unsuspecting teachers? I cannot even recall the countless web of lies and deception we were able to weave to narrowly escape from trouble. I can imagine you are wondering what could possibly be more exciting and offer more opportunity for adventure than having a Fred Weasley to your George, or a Zack to your Cody?

Relations got even rockier when she played a prank on me that pulled off a whole toenail, leaving my whole foot throbbing in agony. This all happened before we turned 10.

My parents were the reluctant diplomats whose constant reprimands

I miss her because last year she moved halfway across the globe to a new world, a new country, a new university- all without me. Before this, the longest time we’d gone without seeing each other was six days. Now it’s been six months and counting.

I’ve been a twin for almost two decades now, and I still think back to the glorious first three minutes of my life when I would’ve been my parents’ only child - just a blob of flesh, placenta and dried blood quivering at the new sensation of fresh air and freedom. I still consider those precious few minutes to be the most glorious of my existence, for all too soon I would be joined at the hip, (not literally, thank God) to a chubby baby with whom I’d share a face, parents, and the majority of my life. From then on, we were doomed to a childhood of matching outfits, identical mushroom haircuts and a lifetime of being called the wrong name. And then there was that time when right front teeth fell out at the same time, and left others wondering if they’d seen double of a pathetic looking, scurvy-afflicted child, with an insatiable desire for candy.

We spent literally every single second of our childhood together. It would be like having a ghost trail perpetually besides you, except the ghost would sometimes be chatty and sometimes moody, and your shin would bruise and sting when she kicked you. We had to share everything: meaning the friends I made never felt like they were really mine and all my worldly possessions had to be inked with my name in an emphatic black scrawl. But that never stopped her from reading my padlocked journals, which were mainly preoccupied with complaints against the evil lying in the bunk bed below mine, or redepositing the silver fortune from my pink piggy bank into her blue piggy bank with grubby little hands.

And so I spent my childhood engaged in warfare that mimicked the strains of world politics pre-1989. I “accidentally” threw a wooden cube at her head and with unexpectedly perfect aim, sending her to hospital with a gash on the centre of her forehead that bled scarlet like a melting bullseye.

liness is not. These were the truths I uncovered in the days and months after her departure, when I finally understood the reality of being alone.

But I would never go back.

When your sense of self becomes so embroiled in another’s, you lose all control. You suffer an identity crisis, because your identity no longer identifies you, but rather is a conflation of two personalities dismissed as one. I hated how difficult it was for others to discern the millions of differences between us, because it flooded me with a sense of insignificance. Here was this human attributed my history and my accomplishments and my face. I felt like no more than a clone of my sister - I was replaceable. And it meant I was redundant.

We were ten when we found ourselves in a new home with adjacent rooms separated by a piece of thin, hollow blue plasterboard. We communicated via a secret language we’d invented, which consisted of a series of knocks and bumps, set free in different rhythms. When the darkness kept us awake, we’d knock secret commands through the single wall that separated our knobbly knuckles, and take comfort in the resounding reverberations only we could hear.

I’d still knock to her if she could hear me. And she’d still be the only one who’d understand.

and head-shaking were fundamental in their campaign for peace in a wartorn household. The most infuriating thing about their strategy, however, was that they would end every stern admonition with a sad shake of their heads, and all-knowingly tell our red, scrunched-up faces that we would some day miss each other.

What is even more infuriating, however, is time revealing that parents are almost always right.

I do miss her.

Obviously life changes - that is the one thing you can never change – and though things are different, they are somehow better. It’s as if the black shadow that kept me anchored down for all those years snapped off, and I was suddenly a hundred and fifty pounds lighter; no longer my sister’s twin but me. Just me. The reflection in the mirror belonged to me, and suddenly the number of times I had to correct someone who’d mistake me for someone who was no longer in the country decreased exponentially. My face was mine, and mine only. Ordinary was a sensational feeling. Lone-

It’s not as difficult now to remind myself that being a twin is not the most interesting thing about me. As time passes, perhaps the sense of inadequacy that haunted me almost as dutifully as my twin did will fade, as we both realize that we are needed; if not by anyone else, then at least by each other. For though we may not be conjoined, it is an indisputable fact that there are parts of us that are inextricably conjoined, and will be for the rest of our natural lives.

Artwork by Bridie Mackay

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Issue 2, Vol. 66

Hidden Stories

#DisabilityDISRUPT Siobhan Kathleen

“Disability doesn’t make you exceptional, but questioning what you think you know about it does.”

These are the words that concluded Stella Young’s Ted Talk “I’m not your inspiration, thank you very much”, which has now been viewed close to 2 million times. With her trademark insight and wit, Stella explained to her audience at TEDxSydney 2014 that people with disabilities often find themselves objectified in “inspiration porn” – a consequence of a culture that presents disability as a “Bad Thing”, and the act of simply living with a disability as “exceptional”, “brave” and “inspirational”.

In the same year, outgoing Disability Discrimination Commissioner Graeme Innes addressed the National Press Club: “We are viewed as either victims or heroes, when we should be viewed as agents of our own destiny.”

I work for Advocacy for Inclusion, a Canberra-based organisation that provides independent, individual, self and systemic advocacy for people with disabilities.

We work within a human rights framework and advocate for the full implementation of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons (CRPD). This international treaty, which Australia ratified in 2008, exemplifies a paradigm shift in the understanding of disability: from an outdated charity/medical model to a social model of disability.

The social model suggests that disability occurs when a person’s impairment interacts with barriers within a society that has not been designed to accommodate the needs of people with such impairments. Discrimination occurs on the basis of this impairment, and related support or access needs, as well as the inaccessible nature of the society itself. People with disabilities are not “objects” of charity, medical treatment and social protection, but “subjects” with rights, capable of making decisions for their own lives.

In our work, Advocacy for Inclusion constantly encounters and combats negative and limiting stereotypes and

Artwork by Bridie Mackay

access general tertiary education, vocational training, adult education and lifelong learning without discrimination and on an equal basis with others.

To this end, States Parties shall ensure that reasonable accommodation is provided to persons with disabilities.” Despite this, huge barriers continue to exist for university students with disabilities, from poor accessibility of campuses, resources or websites to discrimination and failures to accommodate individual needs in teaching and assessment. The cost of studying with a disability is often not recognised, with little assistance available for the costs incurred as a result of requiring additional resources or making necessary adjustments.

It is an avoidable reality that throughout our education system, a culture of low expectations leads to limited opportunities and lower educational (and employment) outcomes for students with disabilities.

Getting an education is no picnic and can be a struggle for anyone. People with disabilities are all too often shut out, their way impeded and their voices and perspectives hidden – every time this happens, the whole community loses out.

assumptions about disability - assumptions about what people with disabilities can and can’t do – whether it’s speaking for themselves, making choices or taking leadership roles in our community. In our efforts to change the way disability is talked about and stereotyped, we have this year launched #DisabilityDISRUPT. We want to disrupt the assumptions about what disability is and isn’t, how it should be spoken about, and who should do the talking. We want to disrupt current thinking about how policy and law get made and how governments plan for disability.

We are asking everyone and anyone to join the conversation by using #disabilitydisrupt on social media – you can email, tweet, blog or post an article, photo, link, quote or opinion – whatever works for you!

Each month #DisabilityDISRUPT will focus on a different topic. In February, we’ve been starting conversations about education, with a focus on desegregation and what real inclusion looks like in classrooms and lecture halls.

Under Article 24 of the CRPD, Australia has obligations to ensure “that persons with disabilities are able to

Share the stories of the barriers you have experienced or observed, using #disabilitydisrupt. Think about ways you can challenge the current culture of exclusion and disrupt the soft bigotry of low expectations.

We need to make Stella Young’s vision a reality: “I want to live in a world where we don’t have such low expectations of disabled people that we are congratulated for getting out of bed and remembering our own names in the morning. I want to live in a world where we value genuine achievement for disabled people, and I want to live in a world where a kid in year 11 in a Melbourne high school is not one bit surprised that his new teacher is a wheelchair user.”

Week 2, Semester 1, 2016

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Why We Are Vegans Ellen Makaryan and Harriet Kesby If you think that cutting out meat, dairy, and eggs is the hardest part of being a vegan then you are sadly mistaken. With the gradual increase of the world’s vegan population so too did the amount of snide comments and ridicule over the Internet. Vegans seem to be an easy target, as they all happen to be tree hugging, tofu-eating hippies, right? This might shock you, but the stereotypes and generalisations that are presented to you over the Internet and by media are not always true. It may seem as though vegans have a larger agenda than eating tofu and saving animals, but in reality, that’s all us vegans care about.

The most important thing to know about veganism is that it is not just a diet: it is a lifestyle, which includes being the voice for those who are voiceless. People like to label vegans as extremists, but honestly eating fruits and vegetables and choosing not to harm animals is the least extreme thing I can think of. It’s easy to get angry when someone points out the flaws in your arguments and the hypocrisy of your actions because naturally, no one likes to be told they need to change their lifestyle. However, the most important thing to understand is that when a vegan criticizes your choice to eat meat or wear leather we are not doing it to be spiteful, we are doing it so that you realise the consequences your actions are having on the environment, on animal lives, and on your health.

It may seem as though all vegans want you to join their cult of compassion and indoctrinate you to believe that all species were created equal, and you’re right, it’s true, that’s all we want from you. If you already believe that all races, genders and people are equal, then you are already thinking in the right direction. The next step is to make the same connection between animals and realise that there isn’t much of a difference between the dog you love so much and the baby lamb on your plate. I understand it is hard to switch from steak to tempeh and from cow’s milk to soymilk, but knowing that no animal

had to suffer and die for your food is one of the most rewarding feelings imaginable.

You might be surprised to find that when you make the switch to veganism you will view the world in a whole different light, and most likely you, too, will turn into a preachy vegan asshole over the internet. Once you have seen and understood the true extent of animal suffering that goes on behind the scenes, it’s nor-

that eating meat was healthy, ethical, and sustainable.

Like most people, I didn’t question this because everyone around me was doing the same thing, including those who had raised me as a kind, caring individual with a moral compass that said causing pain and suffering was wrong. And again like most people, I didn’t really know what went on far from my eyes on factory farms. Questions did pop into my

mal to be angry, frustrated and disappointed. Most importantly, remember that veganism doesn’t differ from any other social justice movement. If you wouldn’t make fun of a feminist, a LGBT activist, or a member of a racial minority, then don’t make fun of vegans. Essentially, we are all trying to bring equality and respect into a world that very much lacks it.

“To get mud off your hands use soap and water. To get blood off your hands, go vegan.” - John Sakars

mind very occasionally, but thankfully I was comforted by my mother’s explanation that we only bought cage-free eggs, and anyway, the cows looked happy in milk commercials.

Besides, if anything really bad was going on behind closed doors in the animal products’ industries, no one would have been supporting it, right?

Turns out, I was mistaken.

After stumbling across some vegan bloggers and Jonathan Safran Foer’s book Eating Animals, I started the slow process of informing myself about the realities of the meat, dairy and egg industries. I discovered things I couldn’t believe I hadn’t known before. How had I never been taught that cows had to be forcibly impregnated again and again in order for them to produce milk? I had only ever been told that we had to milk cows otherwise we would be hurting them.

How was I only just finding out that male chicks are ground up alive or slowly gassed to death because they are of no value to the industry (they cannot lay eggs and are not suitable for chicken-meat production)?

Whilst I was switching lights

Ellen Makaryan For 17 years, I never gave any real thought as to where my food came from. I grew up eating meat and other animal products, just like my parents, relatives and friends. What was involved in the process of transforming a living, breathing, sentient being into unrecognisable pieces of meat that ended up on my plate? I didn’t know, nor did I particularly care. All I knew was that my mother, who loved me and whom I trusted, prepared my meals, and so naturally this meant

off around the house to save electricity, I was unknowingly supporting animal agriculture, which is responsible for 18% of greenhouse gas emissions, more than all transportation. I was shocked to discover that animal products were nowhere near as healthy as I had thought… I was worried about my health when I read that 80% of all antibiotics sold in the US are for use on livestock and poultry, that The West’s biggest killers – heart disease, cancer and stroke – are linked to Photography by animal product Eva Krepsova consumption, and that eating even a single egg a day exceeds the safe upper limit for cholesterol intake. Finally, I was saddened to learn that 82% of starving children live in countries where food is fed to animals, and the animals are eaten by western countries.

In the face of this new knowledge, I had to change the way I ate. My New Year’s Resolution for 2015 was to go vegetarian, and despite being worried I wouldn’t stick to it, as I continued to do some research, I also began to reduce my consumption of milk, eggs, cheese, and other animal products until I was eating a predominantly vegan diet. At first, the thought of depriving myself of cheese was terrifying (I mean, pizza without cheese, seriously!?), but I slowly realised I had no need or desire for animal products.

There is an abundance of healthy (and unhealthy) foods I can eat as a vegan without feeling as if I am at all restricted. I can still eat cheese, yoghurt, ice cream, milk, meats – just plant-based versions, which are better for my own, and the planet’s health. It’s also a great feeling to know I’m no longer contributing to, or supporting suffering or death.

I’m not obsessed with animals, I don’t hug trees, I’m not a health freak - I’m just someone who used to be uninformed and blissfully ignorant, but whose actions are now aligned with their beliefs.

Harriet Kesby

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Hidden Stories

When a Resident Shows Signs of Psychological Distress…

Anonymous

Trigger Warning: Mental Illness and Suicide Psychological Distress Where a resident seems to be showing signs of significant psychological distress (such as self-harming behavior, symptoms of a psychotic episode or suicidical ideation), a designated staff member will attempt to ensure that appropriate support is made available. This may include consultation with and/or referral to health or counselling services including ACT Mental Health, University Counselling Centre, ANU Health Service or another health service provider. A ‘Safety Plan’ may also be developed in collaboration with the resident. As with a medical emergency, where there is grave concern for the health or well-being of a resident, the Head of Residence may contact the emergency contact person(s) nominated by a resident in their Occupancy Agreement

I don’t want to apportion blame, everyone involved is a victim of the process. But I want people to be aware about how this process works. I’m worried that in offering a first year accommodation guarantee the ANU’s accommodation policy has largely ignored the needs of disabled students at the wayside, in particular, those with invisible illnesses such as mental health issues.

I have always been a worrier. In 2013 I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). My anxiety is like a volume control dial; some days it is at maximum, so loud and disorientating, but then on other days it will be background music, noticeable but not too concerning. The fact of the matter is: it’s always there.

2015 was a tough year for me. In January I did a summer course, not giving myself a break from university; in April my great-aunt – who was like a grandmother to me – passed away before I could say goodbye; in July I had my fourth major cardiac surgery and my mental health was all over the place; and in October I finally received a diagnosis for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). That being said, the

biggest stressor of the year was how I was treated when reapplying to my old college (which did not accept me).

I feel that during the entire process I was not treated with respect.

Granted, when I wrote my application I wrote it in a hurry. Though it was due on a Thursday, my anxiety-riddled brain compelled me to submit it a day early – convinced as I was that otherwise the the application would be lost in the ether that is the internet. There was an issue with what I wrote in the medical section of the application. I maintain that any concerns could have been resolved with a simple email or phone call; I could not discuss them in person as I was at my parents’ house in Sydney, still recovering from cardiac surgery. However, this concern, and my ‘apparent suicidal ideation’ were reasons enough for the Head of Hall to submit my application to a ‘Review Panel’. Luckily I was not studying as this email came to students at the end of October. I was not the only student to go through this process, and cannot fathom the stress such a process would put on students sitting their exams. I know many people who dropped out of the re-application process, but I decided to push on.

I tried to send supporting documentation. Unfortunately, I did not think to send the death certificate of my great-aunt or a note from my surgeon (mostly due to his busy work schedule). With the claim of ‘suicidal ideation’ at the forefront of my mind I barely tracked down my psychologist in time, and yet she unintentionally forgot to write that I did not match that criterion, and fixated on explaining my diagnosis, believing this to be enough. I have never been suicidal, and my psychologist of five years will gladly confirm this.

What I found utterly perplexing was according to the college handbook, an extract of which I have attached, ‘suicidal ideation’ should have meant that my parents were contacted, as a medical emergency. Furthermore, it should have resulted in the Canberra Assessment Treatment Team (CATT) being called, just as they were regarding one other student in the college.

What really disappointed me was the secretive nature of this process. I was informed by Student Assistance that

minutes were not taken at these panel meetings, that the panel was delayed because the chairperson was ill, and that no appeal process exists. The fact that the Head of Residency is responsible for submitting your application, and yet it is only through the same Head of Residency that you can contact the panel seems to be a conflict of interest, and an investigation into the panel policy needs to be undertaken for improved transparency.

When I finally got my rejection letter I could only conclude that in regards to my wellbeing, the intent and action of the Head of Hall did not appear to match up. My friend remarked when she read the response, that the Head of Hall “didn’t even apologise” for the final result. I found the Head of Hall’s comments about being “deeply concerned for my welfare” disingenuous as I was there for a whole semester and they did not ask to meet me once. The disingenuous nature of the response was further reinforced when the Head

of Hall implied I had become a burden to those around me. I am not aware if they understood the impact that this word can have, but it should never be used when referring to those with disabilities. Considering this, I am glad it was the students at this college who really helped me last year.

They raised money for mental health charities and we made a genuine commitment to be on the lookout for each other, to talk to each other, and to lift each other up.

I end on a cynical note; the nature of this process will make people with invisible illnesses reluctant to disclose their problems. And that will be a greater shame than what happened to me.

Artwork by Eva Krepsova

Week 2, Semester 1, 2016

Woroni

Hidden Stories: A World in Art Emma Hodges

Untitled (modern vanitas), 2015 When you look at an artist’s self portrait, what do you see?

It might be a painting, a drawing, a sculpture, or embroidery. Not only will the medium differ, but so also will the expression and the emotion the artist is trying to convey.

Every artist has been influenced by a hidden story.

Mine began when I started high school.

My grandma had encouraged me to become an artist until she died of cancer as I was finishing year 7. The next few years were driven by bad grades for the most part, combined with built up anger and energy. This came out in my art - it was expressed in the ways I depicted myself and other people.

Aggressive forms and starved figures filled the pages of my sketchbooks. But now as I’ve grown and calmed down, the expression in my painting has become more subtle. As I began reading more about feminism my view on the world started to change, and with that, the subject matter I was depicting also shifted.

Untitled (portrait of a friend), 2014 The thing about being an artist is that you can’t separate your art from your life; everything comes from somewhere inside you. It’s your own unique experiences that you bring to the canvas everyday as an artist, even if it’s not conscious or deliberate. If you have a chance to walk through the art school and look at the work people are producing, you’ll notice that each reflects the individual, from the energy in the brush strokes to the range of imagery being used.

I see this in all of my artistic friends.

They each have a hidden story that finds a way of expressing itself in their work.

Whether it be the experiences which led them to a particular political opinion, or a day they lived a year ago which had an emotional impact on them.

Art is our way of giving a voice to the hidden stories.

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Hidden Stories

Desert Art Comes to ANU Fi Wilson

Maruku@ANU offers a lot to get excited about; non-exploitative high quality aboriginal art; the opportunity for a hands on art-making experience, and the Professor Brian Schmidt AO. In its second year, the exhibition is solely run and curated by ANU students with the support of the indigenous-run Maruku Arts organisation from the Mutijulu community near Uluru, who have worked in close collaboration to bring an exciting collection to Canberra. The initiative not only brings a spectacular and diverse range of desert art to the ANU, but supports the artists, with all proceeds going to Maruku which supports over 800 artists and their families from the Anangu region. The opportunities presented to artists, both in terms of travelling the country, as well as income and sharing their stories, are really why it’s so important.

The ANU Art School is playing host to the initiative, with launch night on the 4th of March expecting Brian Schmidt to deliver a welcomed introduction to the beginning of the exhibition. Wood burning (Punu) and dot painting workshops will also be on offer over the opening weekend, as well as the ability to purchase affordable pieces of art in the collection.

It is definitely also worth mentioning that there will be complimentary food and drinks on opening night.

Maruku@ANU is an event that has developed to truly showcase and support stimulating desert art and the communities who produce it, and will continue to with this support into the future.

For all workshop bookings or enquiries please contact: maruku.anu@gmail. com

Woroni

Week 2, Semester 1, 2016

Building Bridges with Words + Pictures Shan Crosbie

Photo credit: Anton Poon, Building in Process, 2014, steel, cement, and bronze (Photo: David Paterson) Words + Pictures is an initiative set up by myself and a very hardworking and enthusiastic lecturer from the Centre of Art History and Art Theory, Robert Wellington. As a student of Art Theory, I always found myself existing somewhere between the Art History students and the Fine Art students.

To me, it seemed strange and almost wasteful that there wasn’t more collaboration and connection happening between the two streams of students.

A few years ago, Art History connected with the School of Art on an administrative level. To me this was a great step towards the vision, but I still didn’t feel that this connection had filtered down to the level of the students.

In an attempt to bridge this gap between the two streams of students we created the Words + Pictures CAHAT blog. The initial concept of the blog was that Art History students pair up with Fine Art students and the Fine Art student shares their work with their Art History partner who then writes an article responding to their work. These partnerships resulted in some fantastic pieces of work and some long lasting friendships between

students who would otherwise taken much longer to connect, if at all. We now accept all kinds of articles from exhibition reviews to opinion pieces and everything in between.

The blog serves a double purpose to document the connections made across the School of Art and also to showcase the work of both groups of students to a wide audience. The blog has been running successfully for over six months now and has been received extremely positively by both students and staff. With this recent collaboration with Woroni, I’ve seen a huge surge in interest in writing and reading the blog as we branch out into the wider ANU community. Words + Pictures CAHAT blog is about connecting people and now that the School of Art is more in sync with itself, I feel it is the perfect time to connect with the wider ANU in a meaningful and exciting way.

If students want to contribute to Words + Pictures CAHAT Blog they can get in contact with me at shancrosbie72@gmail.com or simply check out the blog at: http://cahat.weblogs.anu.edu.au/.

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Art in Woroni

Catherine Claessens is an artist with a tendency towards uncomfortable subjects… and now she finds herself obsessed with religious cults. Her work seeks to show us a world that permeates the contemporary, hum-drum, secular security we know as ‘normal’; but these states of stability are often just around the corner from someone else’s hell. In a series of emotionally intense drawings with an extremely long title, using charcoal on brown paper, Claessens presents an insight into the mental worlds of those we so often hear of but rarely understand: people in mind-controlling religious cults. Come check it out at Smith’s Alternative on Friday March 4th, opening at 6pm.

Catherine Claessens

Hidden Stories

Week 2, Semester 1, 2016

Woroni

Susannah Bourke Two Chairs/Identity Theft, 2015 Object and performance

23 Can a chair be a question? This work investigates the relationship between design and power. Chairs are hero objects, which designers use to make their names. They distil the time they were made and the ideologies of those who made them like no other object.

I wanted to know if a chair could question its role in this system by reintroducing the body into a craft and design show.

We’d love to publish your art!

To submit an article to Words + Pictures CAHAT blog or to the Woroni arts section please send a word document and accompanying high resolution photos to Shan Crosbie at shancrosbie72@gmail. com. Please provide the photo captions and credits in your word document.

Faculty Staff Exhibition Canberra Grammar School Gallery, opening Friday 12 February at 6pm. Exhibition runs until 24 March.

Art News March

2015 Resident Series Exhibition Works by Isobel Rayson, opens 6pm Thursday 4 February at CCAS Manuka. Exhibition continues until 14 February.

Smiths Alternative Bookshop Exhibition Featuring the work of Catherine Claessens, opening 4 March. Exhibition runs until 24 March.

Speak Uneasy Noted Festival at Smiths Alternative Bookshop, featuring the work of Shags, Nicci Haynes, Caren Florance and Jane Rawson. Open from 18 March to 24 March.

Blaze Ten Canberra Contemporary Art Space, featuring the work of ANU alumni, opening 6pm 19 February.

Exhibition runs until 24 March.

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Issue 2, Vol. 66

ANUSA’s Hypernova Review: Hyper Feels Rory Caddis

Photography by Dayna Ransley, Ana Stuart, Em Roberts and Pia Maselos

Hidden Stories

Woroni

Hyper Nova, Nova Hyper, HyNo, anyway you write it, all can be defined as a funky fresh time thanks to our main squeezes, ANUSA. My day, like many other hypernova goers, began with one too many $6 jugs courtesy of Woroni (ily). From there, the hordes of freshers and ANU veterans made their way onto Fellows.

Week 2, Semester 1, 2016

So tbh, I was loving the $6 jugs so much that I missed everyone before Basenji, however I heard from the multitudes of ANU’s under-agers that Edd Fisher, TOYO, Tak-Un-Da and Ego were all total babes. I can say from first hand experience that Basenji was brilliant and everyone needs to listen to his song Petals; it will become your jam as it’s super fresh and super funky. However, the real stars of the show of course,

were San Cisco and CHVRCHES who did the finely manicured lawns of Fellows justice.

One of the not so great parts of the Hypernova scene this year were the masses of angry small kids in the mosh. Being my third big ANU party, I had never noticed this sickly breed present in the mosh before, pressed up against each other like the sardines we’re supposed to be in our ill-advised youth. Speaking of the mosh, I am delighted to report a total of 3 used condoms were found during the clean

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up. Nothing like making some sweaty loving in a crowd of approximately 100 people to some really spectacular music. If I was to make love to anyone during Hypernova, it would be to CHVRCHES. I’ve never seen anyone get around the stage as much as the lead singer, who was not only a hyper-babe, but she also brought some quality British banter. Overall 10/10 night, thanks ANUSA and Woroni for the loving.

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Hidden Stories

Georgia Grimaudo

Woroni Interviews What’s it like to be one of the region’s rising stars?

Woroni sat down with Conagh, James, Alec and Joel of The Gypsy Scholars; to get their thoughts on life on tour, filming music videos and how those elaborate songs come together.

established bands and DJs, including, y’know, Jamie xx, Sons of the East, and Young Franco, and being able to bounce off their music was something that was really beneficial.

CONAGH: It was good to dip our toes in something that we’ll hopefully move towards. It’s really different playing at a festival. In some ways it’s less intimate, but people are still there for the tunes and it’s still a good time. It was really good for our live set.

GEORGIA GRIMAUDO: You’ve just come off the release of the video for Looking Glass, which is also your first music video. What was the filming process like?

CONAGH: Hot and sweaty.

JAMES: Really hot and really sweaty. It was good, Archie Chew flew in from Melbourne to Sydney and he’d written a storyboard for it. It was a really good experience for us.

JOEL: Yeah, we’d been planning it for a couple of weeks and Archie was keeping us in the loop with constant storyboarding.

ALEC: Well, it was a 35 degree day shooting with lots of kids, in the bush, and we had to lug around a big car battery generator so we could even hear what we were doing. But somehow, we managed to have a ripper of a time. We got some ice blocks, we hung out, we drank Powerade… it was good. And Archie was probably the most patient guy to do it with us.

It just ended up being a super fun day - even though Joel and Conagh nearly fucked it up for us - in the end it was a good learning experience. And the end result, for something that was done for us for free, and also was the first time we’ve done anything like that, is something we can all be pretty proud of.

I understand you’ve got a new single dropping really soon. Any details you want to share about it?

ALEC: We only figured out what we were doing like two days ago.

JOEL: We had a big meeting the other day about what we were actually recording. We’re just sorting out final recording times and getting those locked in with Lou Montgomery, who records with the likes of Peking Duk and Safia. Can we say what song we’re recording?

CONAGH: Keeping that on the DL. We won’t even tell Lou. JAMES: All I will say is that it’s very different. It’s going to drop in April and we’re going to do an East Coast tour with it, spread it out a little further.

CONAGH: So with the others, we released it onto an audience we’re quite comfortable with. Our shows are mostly Canberra, and we’ve sold out Sydney – we’re just sell-outs – but we’re going to do a broader tour and hope to continue growing an audience.

ALEC: Between our two singles, you’ll be able to capture the breadth of our range. When we do our live shows, it’s just a mix of things. But between this new one and Looking Glass, you’ll be able to understand our full range quite easily.

JAMES: I think what’s unique about our music is that each sound is constructed differently to each story that we tell. We choose different instrumentation depending on what’s best for the story.

You performed at the Lost Paradise festival over the summer. What does it mean to you as a band to book gigs like that? How does it compare to gigs such as your recent headliner at Parlour?

JOEL: Oh, it was huge. We’d just come off of a year of doing as many gigs as we could, and it came up very last minute. It felt like a reward for plugging away all year. It was such a cool experience and we were treated like proper musicians. It really felt good.

ALEC: And slightly undeserved. We were freaking out! We had people driving around our instruments and got loads of free stuff. Spoons especially was freaking out!

JAMES: Probably the best thing about that opportunity was being able to hang out with other musicians – we spent a lot of time with some really

JAMES: And no one really knew who we were! We were sort of off to the side, and we didn’t know what to expect. But halfway through our set, it just went off. Shit load of likes on Facebook. There were people on tables, it went nuts!

What’s the writing process like for you guys?

CONAGH: Well, with my songs, I generally write it away from the group, [come up with] something that I quite like [and bring it back], but the arrangement happens as a group. You bring a pretty solid set of bones and then the rest of the band puts everything else on it. I don’t think any of us are pretentious enough to stick to our guns when it comes to songs.

JAMES: We all do a bit of writing, and then bring it into the group and bounce ideas off each other. When you bring a song in, it’s at about 3040% done, and then as soon as you add in all the instruments it changes completely. It grows into something so much more complex.

JOEL: I think the best thing is that everyone gets to have a say and everyone listens to each other. Any idea, no matter how ridiculous it sounds in the beginning – it gets tried. We all decide if it works.

Woroni How does being a band affect your student identity? Does booking gigs through student organisations like Woroni affect it?

JAMES: I think it’s definitely to our benefit. We’ve kind of jumped into this scene where we can get 50-100 people to rock up to anything; even if we were shit, they’d still come along.

JOEL: For the record, we’re not.

JAMES: I think we’re really lucky in we’re getting gigs - having the support of Woroni behind us is really beneficial, because they’ve offered us a number of good gigs. It’s just great for exposure. Next year it’d be great to play at the big one…

ALEC: Just being at ANU is great, because the community is so good.

There’s a lot of opportunity, there’s so many students, and being at uni whilst starting the band we’ve just immediately been able to be part of a community that’s strong, with an arts focus and there’s always a lot going on. We’ve been a bit blessed starting off in Canberra because there are so many opportunities, within the ANU and also in the wider area. For bands, and even for me, a graduate, just being able to come and play 4 gigs in O Week – you appreciate how much creative stuff is going on. The focus on live entertainment has really helped us establish a fanbase. Being able to play to 300 people at ANU Bar on an afternoon and have everyone be receptive has really helped us mature as a band.

Week 2, Semester 1, 2016

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Finally, if you were all stranded together on a desert island, who would be sacrificed first?

JOEL: Not Alec. We need Alec.

JAMES: I’ll take one for the team. You guys can go on.

JOEL: You nearly broke up the band with that one! Everyone looked at Conagh.

CONAGH: But everyone thought Spoons! No, because of how tight we are and how well we work together as a team, there’s no reason for any one of us to die.

ALEC: We’d all die together!

JAMES: Just on that note, I honestly think if one of us [couldn’t] play, it’d be the end of the band. There’s nothing we could do. It just wouldn’t be the same.

You can catch The Gypsy Scholars at Phoenix on the 26th of Feb at 8pm for the last time before they kick off on their tour with Sydney band Gostwyck in March. They’ll also be going on an East Coast tour – catch them in Melbourne, Canberra, Sydney, Wollongong, and Bathurst during April.

The Gypsy Scholars With Azim Zain and His Lovely Bones at Parlour Georgia Grimaudo

“Hi, we’re Azim Zain and His Lovely Bones and we’re here to make you feel sad,” was not the opening line the crowd was expecting. This, however, kept us guessing and eager to hear what the five-piece had to offer.

Their opening number, continued this vibe, for it seemed like a never-ending stream of riffs, fills, and melodies clocked in at 8 minutes long with bridge after bridge perhaps signalling the end of the song, only for the beat to pick up and the jam to continue on.

This unusual style left the audience a little confused; the irresolute structure of the song had them wondering when to cheer their thanks. This however was forgotten, as Azim’s crew of talented kids warmed the crowd

up with a fun mixture of millennial alternative sounds; raw on the ears with plenty of potential for more. As their set came to a close, the energy of the bar at the incredibly cool Parlour Wine Room fell into the atmosphere of a niche, hipster jam session. The old fashioned-décor and fancy craft beers fed our millennial hipster fantasies.

Oh yeah, no one was having a cooler Saturday that night.

Then came The Gypsy Scholars. Fresh off the release of the music video for their single, Looking Glass, the Gypsies attracted a new wave of fans into the bar which left it thoroughly packed out. Ready to groove, the band took the crowd on a fantastic journey

of humble, personable, yet thoroughly fun folky sounds. This is music you could hear down at your local pub at 12:30am with people singing their heads off, or on a subdued and hungover Saturday morning.

The addition of a horns section fleshed out their already clear and full sound, and filled the small venue with an electricity that was thoroughly infectious; soon we were all on our feet “[dancing with the Gypsies.]” We were having fun because they were having fun.

The technical expertise of the band members is not to be ignored either, for all of their boisterous energy – one should note that a guitar string was broken, within the first song – but

barely a beat was missed. The tight set paired with their showmanship and interactive nature made for a room full of the memorable experience that is seeing The Gypsy Scholars.

You can check out both Azim Zain And His Lovely Bones and The Gypsy Scholars for free on Triple J Unearthed.

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Hidden Stories

Phoenix’s O-Week Session: A Review Gabriele Naktinyte Phoenix Bootleg Sessions; a reason go out on a Monday, a reason to embrace your inner Edwardian-grunge hipster, and among other things, a reason to remind yourself that in our little capital city of politicians and uni students, there is a rough and charmingly unpolished music scene, charged with excitement and youth. No better way is there to kick of an O week in alternative, feel good style.

To kick things off, the one and only Sara Flint, who with her haunting and sultry delivery, is someone who you should pay attention to, to truly appreciate. That is not to say she’s forgettable, but rather she plays the role of a classic lounge singer extremely well; whilst she may frame an evening for your average unobservant after-work-drinksgo-getter, to those who sit in the back corner, she is made more interesting in her own flaws, as she subtly explores her strong lower register, but always returns to her cloudy head voice, as it floats above the bar and swirls amongst the conversations and whiffs of spirits that is Phoenix’s air.

As a counterpointing palate cleanser, Helena Pop were next, and filled the room with their own very individual vibes of folky momentums and slight grunge influences – of biblical proportions. Their enigmatic performance was a clear highlight of the night, as you couldn’t help but smile when their lead singer, Jack Houston, dressed in full angel garb, sang “I love being na-

Artwork by Emilio Elmowy

ked with you.” After having a little chat with Houston after their set, he said that he felt “really lucky” to be a part of the Phoenix family, as “it’s always a really eclectic group of people who turn up,” and as the Canberra music scene itself faces challenges with dwindling numbers of live music venues, nights like Phoenix’s Bootleg Sessions become all the more important, as Jack himself says; “I’m really bad at self-promotion – I’d normally offer a lift to get people to gigs.”

stage, with their impressions of classic rock fused with altie tunes. Whilst they also were clearly influenced by a bit of 90s grunge, they invoked some great images through their fantastic guitar technique, and great hair action from stage left. Whilst their lead singer often sounded like Tim Burton if he was a soul singer, their Suspicion Blues transported the humble audience that night straight to the hot and humid streets of New Orleans and back.

The fun atmosphere continued to flourish, as Novia Scotia took to the

Yet, to end the night, we met with the members of the ever-cool Slow Tur-

ismo.

Whilst their light echoing voices reminded the audience of a revolutionised 60s psychedelic movement, you couldn’t avoid the contrast of their haunting 80s-esque anthems – seasoned with a little ska annotation and a deeper sense of brooding hidden behind the lead singers onstage persona.

Nonet heless, obviously there is not much more that a reviewer can say, than the band got people to dance in 7/8 time; a handsdown triumph, needing no more frivolous complimenting, to be fully appreciated.

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Woroni Radio Playlist: Hidden Stories Brendan Keller-Tuberg and Mark Wilson Beginning in 2016, Woroni Radio is proud to present themed playlists every fortnight corresponding to each new issue. This week, for ‘Hidden Stories’, we have compiled a collection of songs and artists intended to shine a light upon both political and personal issues faced by our world and its people. After all, music, like any form of art, is a tool that can provide a voice for the voiceless; encouraging empathy, compassion and understanding between artists and their audience.

Though much of the music featured here may be seen as ‘left field’ or ‘experimental’, its potency and relevance to all members of society (and all levels of musical knowledge) remains unchanged.

The stories told by these songs are varied and purposeful. They range in subject from political protests of extreme wealth and the 1% (The Knife), to the subject of mortality; the grieving process and subsequent acceptance of the loss of a loved one (Sufjan Stevens and Flying Lotus). Issues of racism (Kendrick Lamar and D’Angelo), classism (Vince Staples), and acceptance of sexuality (Perfume Genius, Arca and Sampa the Great) also colour this editions playlist with modern pressures and social momentum, complimented also by the notions of privacy and communication in the internet age (Holly Herndon and Burial) which also feature prominently.

Of particular importance, two artists;

Ash Koosha and Khan El Rouh are asylum seekers from Iran and Syria respectively, who have fought to express themselves through their music in the face of oppression in their homelands before escaping to pursue a better life.

Happy listening and look out for our playlists in future issues!

1. Ash Koosha – I Feel That 2. Jenny Hval – That Battle Is Over 3. Burial – Archangel 4. D’Angelo – The Charade 5. Arca – Vanity 6. Ibeyi – River 7. Flying Lotus – Coronus, The Terminator 8. Vince Staples – Lift Me Up

9. Khan El Rouh – Waheed El Qarn 10. Sufjan Stevens – Should Have Known Better 11. Reuben Ingall – Eyelids 12. Young Fathers – Rain Or Shine 13. The Knife – A Tooth For An Eye 14. Kendrick Lamar – The Blacker The Berry 15. Holly Herndon – Home 16. St. Vincent - Cruel 17. Sampa The Great – F E M A L E 18. Perfume Genius – All Along

Grammys Wrong Again: Why Kendrick Lamar Should Have Gotten Best Album Phyllida Behm Award season is an exciting time of year; it’s easy to get carried away in the glamour and extravagance of events such as the BAFTAs and the Grammys. There is, however, increasing momentum behind the criticism that these awards ceremonies are not inclusive. In fact, they’re downright racist.

Black, Asian and Hispanic artists are forced into the shadows while conventional white stars continue to stand in the spotlight.

So here’s my question: why did the Grammy’s choose not to award Best Album to Kendrick Lamar for his ground-breaking and critically acclaimed work, To Pimp a Butterfly?

Instead of awarding Best Album to Lamar, the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences instead chose Taylor Swift for her pop-hit, 1989. Sure, I like singing along to Wildest Dreams in the car like everyone else. But 1989 is, essentially, conventional. That’s not to say that it isn’t a well-produced, popular, high-quality work. My issue with 1989 is that it sounds the same as every other successful pop record of the past few years. Moreover, it focusses on the same petty issues – dramas in the love lives of stunningly attractive women.

Compare this to To Pimp a Butterfly. The album is an inspirational narrative, using different characters and musical genres to tell the sto-

ry of Lamar’s own life. He is a man who, having been institutionalised by his society, breaks free to achieve not just success but also self-respect.

This begins with Wesley’s Theory and King Kunta. In these tracks, Lamar is successful but feels compelled to display his wealth in conceited ways.

In Wesley’s Theory, Lamar says that when he gets signed he’ll buy a “brand new caddy on fours” and “take a few

structural inequality and disadvantage that African-American communities have been subjected to.

M-16s to the hood.” By the end of the record, however, Lamar’s perspective has changed. In Mortal Man he says “the word was respect/ just because you wore a different gang’s colour than mine/ doesn’t mean I can’t respect you as a black man.” Lamar’s focus is now on displaying empathy towards others in his community. This revelation comes after devastating tracks such as Institutionalised, Alright, and The Blacker the Berry, which reflect on the

for Best Producer in 2015), and astoundingly his 16th nomination. You might think that this is a testament to his success as a producer which, given the phenomenal success of the acts he’s worked with, is undoubted. But it can also be interpreted as an indication that the Grammys shy away from provocative, non-white acts. This isn’t the first time that the National Academy has played it safe – last year the award went to Beck rather than Be-

Another reason 1989 sounds so familiar is because it was produced by Max Martin, who has worked with Ariana Grande, Katy Perry, Kesha, Adele, and Ellie Goulding, among others.

The Best Album Award is Max Martin’s second Grammy (his first being

yoncé. In 2014 Lamar lost out again, this time to Macklemore. Even Macklemore recognized that this was unfair, tweeting that Lamar had been “robbed” of the award.

Although Lamar was awarded the Best Rap Album title, this is not enough recognition for the political and social impact To Pimp a Butterfly had in 2015. Over the past two years, the campaign against police brutality toward African-Americans has gained increasing traction, particularly in the wake of the shootings of Michael Brown, Eric Garner, and Freddie Gray, among others. Alright, one of the tracks from the album, has become the anthem of the Black Lives Matter campaign; some have called it the modern We Shall Overcome. And although I’m pleased that the Grammys gave Lamar the opportunity to perform some of his tracks, including Blacker the Berry, that seems tokenistic when they were not willing to give him the most significant award.

While artists like Taylor Swift use their work to make statements about themselves, Kendrick Lamar uses his music as a powerful form of political advocacy. His message of hope and freedom from oppression is politically relevant, but also perennial. It is a great disappointment that the Grammys chose not to recognise this.

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Issue 2, Vol. 66

Hidden Stories

Campus Style

Cat Yen

Heather Groves

Katherine Hall

Geordie Lee

Supriya Benjamin

Waheed Jayhoon

“I was wearing shoes before.”

“Well, these shorts were $20, so I thought I should get them.”

“Orange is the new black.”

“I look good everyday.”

“I woke up like this.”

“I like my hat”

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The Make-up Myth: Cosmetics and Choice Rose Pearce Does saying “it’s my choice” make your decision inherently feminist?

It must be appreciated that feminism is a complex issue; it is a response to deeply entrenched misogynistic social norms and expectations. The reality of these pressures is often used to argue that we are never really able to make a ‘free choice’, as our decisions are always going to be subconsciously influenced by our desire to conform to expectations of womanhood and femininity. I really don’t buy this, however, because in an ironic way I think it boosts the patriarchy’s wet dream that every decision women make is subc onsciou sly driven by a desire to please them; especially when it comes to our appearance.

Very few people can say they don’t feel self-conscious about how they look around others, and I am certainly not one of those people; but when I make a decision to wear make up it is only my own self-conf idence that comes into the equation.

That’s not to say that our public image isn’t something that affects the decisions that we make when it comes to our appearance – that’s inevitable – but our appearance is also important to our personal confidence and self-love too.

It’s also okay to want to look good for other people, even men, and this is where we have to appreciate that feminism (like any other) is a flawed

Photography by Samantha Ristic

movement. We don’t always make ‘perfectly feminist’ decisions, sometimes we shape our decisions based on the way other people see us – but that’s a human thing, not just a female one. From one of my favourite ladies Roxane Gay, author of Bad Feminist: “We demand perfection from femi-

nists because we are still fighting for so much… we go far beyond reasonable constructive criticism to dissecting any given women’s feminism, tearing it apart until there’s nothing left.”

What this really means is that it is counterproductive to criticize women for not prioritizing their feminist ide-

ology for every decision they make – that is an unrealistic expectation.

Attacking women as being preoccupied or superficial if they express interest in investing time in their appearance goes far beyond the reaches of reasonable constructive criticism.

Instead, this forms cracks in a movement that relies so heavily on female solidarity.

Meanwhile, the same criticism is almost never directed towards men, of whom there are certainly just as many with the same interest in appearance and presentation. Just because make-up is a predominately female oriented industry, it is seen as a negative investment of time and interest. On the contrary, the female led forums, websites and by-products of the industry are beautiful, powerful and supportive feminist collectives; havens for women to support each others decisions, share knowledge and come together in a silent solidarity.

Feminism, one of the largest social movements of our history, is ready to stand up and take on it’s critics. Even as ‘bad feminists’ we can use our own errors of judgement to adjust our behaviour, and use socially entrenched practices to support women, not to diminish them. Looking beyond make-up as a superficial preoccupation, we can acknowledge it as an important part of our power as women: to have complete autonomy over our own bodies and to represent and express our diverse and exciting selves to the world.

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Issue2, Vol. 66

Hidden Stories

Ekta – ANU South Asian Students’ Society Mihir Kale and Neeraja Shankar The New Colombo Plan has seen the ANU play host to a rapidly increasing number of students and scholars from the South Asian region. Fortunately for them, Ekta is present as a welcoming party. Born initially in the 1990s, Ekta was inaugurated as a means of uniting the then few expats from that part of the world. A couple of decades on and Ekta is thriving as a society which is known for its fun-filled and vibrant events on and off campus.

Ekta hosts some of the best attended activities throughout the year, showcasing the traditions and vivacity of the people it represents. Highlights of the Ekta calendar are: · Holi during O-week · Bollywood dance parties · Award-winning Cultural Show · The most flamboyant Ekta Ball

Ekta is the Sanskrit word for ‘unity’, Sanskrit being the mother language to most South Asian dialects. Ekta aspires to create a feeling of oneness between people of many different ethnic, linguistic, and racial backgrounds and strives to pursue harmony in diversity. Whilst Ekta attempts to encompass all aspects of the region, there is a focus on the subcontinent and as such acts as a cultural nucleus at the ANU.

With regards to couture, South Asia is a sight to behold; bombastic yet conservative, elegant and ornate. Owing to the cultural diversity in the region, there are a number of styles and fashions which are prevalent. For the most part, there is a clear distinction between male and female attire and the lines are drawn fairly strictly, unlike the West. However, dismissed too are shades of black and grey, which are replaced by permanent wardrobe fixtures in maroons and blues.

With regards to the men, fashion in the subcontinent is geared towards the kurta-pyjama combination in the northern parts; a long tunic paired with either loose fitting or skin tight trousers. This versatile outfit has the ability to be dressed up with more intricate thread work, but is equally worn by the working class in simple cotton. In the more southern regions, closer to the tropics, men generally opt for a lungi, a simple cotton length of fabric wrapped around the waist. This tradition is reflected all the way through South Asia where it is also known as sarong, mundu or veshti. Again, these may be worn in silks or cottons denoting formality.

The game is much broader for women. In the northern parts of South Asia, women opt for the Arab-inspired salwaar-kameez, a similar concept to the men’s kurta-pyjama. The only difference is that women usually wear a veil or dupatta with their outfits. Women in the south of the subcontinent may commonly be seen wearing the famous sari, a length of fabric, usually 6 yards, tied around the torso.

Breadth for design, formality and comfort is vast. In the more southern cultures, where Muslim influence is more prevalent, women don the baju kurung or kebaya, which are a combination of a long tunic and skirt, also commonly paired with a veil.

With such a wide variety of outfits on offer, perhaps you should strut your stuff at this year’s Ekta Ball!

South Asia has some of the world’s most tasty foods, but unfortunately, the stereotyped versions do not pay satisfactory tribute to the original recipes. While sub-continental food is known to many as merely butter chicken, vindaloo and naan, bodies of food such as chaat, tiffin and mithai are commonly unknown.

One favourite, however, is daal.

Daal simply means lentils and is a daily component of many South Asian households. In and of itself, daal is a carrier for other dry (i.e. without gravy) dishes, both vegetarian and non-vegetarian. The following is a very simple daal recipe which is sure to be a winter favourite in the coming cooler months.

Ingredients

Red lentils (from the supermarket) 2 T vegetable oil 2 t black mustard seeds ¼ t asafoetida 2 t turmeric 1 t garam masala 1 t chilli powder (optional or to taste) 1 cloves of garlic, crushed 1 small onion, diced 1 small chilli sliced 1 tomato, diced

Method

1. Measure lentil based on yield. As a rule, ¼ cup of lentils is enough for one person. Follow the instructions on the packet and prepare the lentils.

2. In a separate pan, crackle the mustard seeds and add the asafoetida, turmeric, garam masala and chilli powder. Sauté the onion, garlic and chilli for a minute. Add the tomato and cook until soft.

3. Mix into the previously prepared lentils.

4. Enjoy with flatbread or rice.

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ISO: The Lowdown on Term 1 Madhuri Kibria

Warning: Please don’t be offended by anything written here. There is an obvious need for banter when it comes to ISO. As all the halls and colleges kids may or may not know, the ISO calendar has been flipped upside down. Reasons include weather issues; giving firsties enough time to get into the craziest thing they will probably do in their ANU lives (and that’s really saying something), that is Inward Bound; injuries and scrapes due to dry grass in term 4 (seriously?); drainage problems on South; and no one showing up to tennis in October except Ursies and Burgmann.

appointing seasons- Burgmann lost ex-ressie April Pascoe early on to injury, which led to their quick demise and Johns put up a tough fight for bronze against Griffin but lost by a massive 16 points, although they convincingly beat them in the group stages. Lucy Knox and dominant netballer Phoebe Foldi will be back to help Johns get ahead on the sports shield early on although they may still be missing Liv Hicks who was brought it home for them in 2014. Ursies will have Caitlin McLeod leading the top half again and she’s always a tough one to hold back. Fenner are also never one to be underestimated. We’re hoping to see

be the standout player for his hall this year, and they will be striving to make it to the tight top 4 this time.

and it is safe to say, the team is in very capable hands. They will be a team to watch out for.

While basketball will run through till the end of the term, volleyball will on in the weekend of Week 3 and this is always a fairly unpredictable one.

Johns took out gold for both the boys and girls competitions. There was not just one player that stood out from each of the teams- they all worked as a cohesive unit and that’s what really pulled them through to the top. Fenner and B&G boys were both incredible to watch last year- there was not one moment of their game where you

Tennis starts in Week 4 and this is the first year that it will be a mixed competition, with the same structure as table tennis and badminton. There is not much knowledge of what to expect from the boys in the halls and colleges but we’re sure there must be quite a few Lleyton Hewitt’s hiding out there waiting to get out onto the South Oval courts. Ursies came out at the end of last year with some of the best tennis players ISO has ever seen.

Rashmi Chary was at least semi-pro (and a very nice person) and Brigid Horneman-Wren really brought it in every game. Their entire squad was incredible to watch- not one player less amazing than the other. Sarah Pryke from Johns was also fantastic and Burgmann also had a very strong team overall. Megan Stevens and Shannon Hall, from Bruce and B&G respectively, also had solid teams alongside them and the boys from their colleges will probably be out to lift them even further. Fenner, Griffin and Unilodge always end up in the bottom 3 and hopefully they too will have male players who will help them put up a stronger fight in 2016.

However, all of these things could never dull the hype of ISO sports.

We are looking at a cracking Term 1 and preparations are well underway.

The first term will now have 4 sports: basketball, volleyball, tennis (finally, mixed), and road relay.

Basketball will be the first sport to kick the year off in Week 2. Let’s start by saying that it was upsets on top of upsets for the girls last year. Bruce took the gold out of nowhere with their new recruit Jo Guthridge who didn’t fail to stun the crowds for a single game. Surely the rest of the Bruce side, including top performer Arthy Anathapavan, are hoping to keep it up this year around as well. Burton and Garran (B&G) came a close second in a very tight grand final and it was a solid effort from them throughout the season. Jess Rasmussen was their key player alongside the nimble Annalise Corey- will they be back for revenge to get the gold this time or will they fall back into the second half of the ladder like the previous years?

Their win against Griffin in the semi-final was probably the biggest shock of the season, edging over them by a mere 2 points. Griffin will be led by Maddie Kibria for the second year running and Grace Shalders, who was their star player last season.

They will be backed by the physical prowess of Annika Humphreys for a third year. They will be missing Shelley Dawson, Ingrid Olbrei (who has now joined forces with Johns) and this one will probably have the other colleges throwing a low-key party- Caela Welsh. She has no doubt been the ultimate superstar for Griffin, winning ISO and Griffin Sportswoman of the Year in 2015. Who will be able to replace Welsh? Probably no one because she is simply sublime, but that will be one thing to keep your eyes peeled for.

Johns and Burgmann both had dis-

last year’s coach and this year’s sports rep Monique Munro off the sidelines and on the courts.

Johns are always fighting for gold in both the men’s and women’s categories in basketball (and well, in everything) and Jelle Kroon will be back to lead his team for another attempt but will Griffin remain undefeated for the fourth year running? They will be missing the powerhouse that is Stephen Kenny but rumor has it that they have already found a worthy replacement.

Ball-handling maestros Andrew Nguyen, Dec Pratt, Hamish Jackson, Remy Szabo will all be there to hold onto the gold so there is no way Griffin can be underestimated. Unilodge came second to Griffin and they will be hoping to keep Dan Trevanion and Tom Commins, who racked up quite a few best and fairest points last year.

Bruce will be looking to get to the grand final again this year after they fell short upon losing Errol Gracias to injury halfway through the season.

B&G looked solid at the start of the season with the likes of lightning fast Colin Watson, who ISO predicts will

weren’t on your toes. Patrick Sparks from Fenner led their team and did a damn good job at it as they came third while B&G took out silver. Unilodge are always promising contenders but controversy arose when their star player Percy Su apparently refused to play in their third place match against Fenner, letting them win by default.

Will it be a similar story for Lodge again? Let’s hope not- nobody likes bad sports.

Unilodge girls however, fought it out to each the grand final and lost out narrowly to the mighty Johns team.

Clarissa Tan who was key in their efforts, and won overall best and fairest for the sport, may or may not be missing from their team this yearyou will just have to wait to find out.

Burgmann had highly experienced ex-ressie Jacqui Jones lead their team and last year’s sports rep Alex Jowett playing setter and winning the bulk of their points for them. They won bronze over a powerful Griffin team, led by Emma Wisdom and Caela Welsh. Now that they’ve both graduated, Jess Hargreaves who was nominated for overall best and fairest in volleyball will be leading the charge

Last but not least, road relay has moved up to Week 5 and this will probably be the starting point for IB trainings this year. B&G won gold, while Johns and Bruce followed in second and third respectively. IB predictions have already been made by ISO where Johns are predicted to take first place followed by Burgmann and then B&G. There isn’t much correlation between the winners of Road Relay and IB but I guess we’ll have to wait till Term 3 now to find out.

ISO have also predicted what the ladder will look at the end of Term 1 with Griffin coming out on top, with is questionable because although they might come out in the top 2 in both basketball and volleyball, they haven’t had a very good track record for tennis or road relay. Here’s what the predicted table looks like: 1.Griffin 2. Burgmann 3.Johns 4.B&G 5.Ursies 6.Unilodge 7.Bruce 8.Fenner And with that, let the fight for the coveted ISO Sports Shield begin!

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Issue 2, Vol. 66

Hidden Stories

Roller Derby: A Kick-Ass Sport On Skates Nikki Armstrong I would advise everyone to join or just give roller derby a go! Roller derby is the perfect sport for everyone, and played by people of all genders, ages, skill levels and backgrounds.

Roller derby is a fast-paced full contact sport played on roller skates. The sport had a modern and feminist revival from its theatrical origins in the 2000s as an all-female sport. Today, there is men’s, women’s and mixed derby, with junior derby becoming more popular.

Roller derby is played worldwide, with Australian team VRDL placing third in the 2015 world championships.

Varsity Derby League, which started as an ANU club, is having a new intake soon, with an information night on 29th February and a ‘Come and Try’ day Saturday 5th March. Junior (ages 10-18) information night is Monday 25th April, with a ‘Come and Try’ day the following Friday. If you’re keen to just watch a game first to see what it’s all about, then the first home game is on March 12th at the Tuggeranong Basketball Stadium. All welcome!

I nervously started ‘Freshmeat’ (the affectionate term for new skaters) in 2015 with no previous skating experience. A friend had started playing roller derby the year before, and I wanted to learn a little more about it.

After the initial 8 week bootcamp I’d intended to quit - but found a truly lovely group of people just in time who encouraged me, pushed me to improve, and held my hand while I overcame the anxiety I had about contact. It was a steep learning curve but thanks to the amazing and supportive trainers, I continued to gain confidence and ability, and played my first

game later in 2015.

Starting roller derby has been the best decision of my life. I’ve learned a new skill, have more confidence, higher fitness, and a wider circle of amazing and wonderful friends who I deeply admire. I’ve learned valuable skills

including how to communicate with people, teamwork, and how to incorporate feedback in order to improve.

I have also gained an insight into the amount of work and dedication that goes into volunteer run organisations, and have learned the value of commitment.

To RSVP for fresh meat information, please visit http://varsityderbyleague. com/index.php/about, and ‘like’ Varsity Derby League on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/VarsityDerbyLeague).

Goals, Tries And Lag: The Rising Popularity Of Esports Faye Hollands Playing video games in front of sold out stadiums for prize pools in excess of one million dollars seems like a dream only stereotypical basement-dwelling gamers would have.

However, it is a reality for many professional gamers around the world.

These gamers compete in some of the world’s largest venues – including the South Korean Olympic Stadium and the Staples Centre in Los Angeles – for the chance of winning fame and fortune. In 2015, Defence of the Ancients (DOTA) 2 had a massive prize pool of $15 million, the largest in eSports history. To put it into perspective, the ICC Cricket World Cup has a prize of $10 million and the Superbowl offers $8.5 million.

In recent years electronic sports, commonly referred to as eSports, have grown in popularity amongst international regions. Millions of people tune in weekly to watch eSports tournaments online via streaming services such as Twitch, Azubu, and Youtube.

Gaming companies stream shows that break down certain gameplay, cover team changes and roster swaps, and provide entertaining behind-thescenes segments on specific teams and

players.

Coverage of eSports tournaments is no longer locked to online streaming services however, as mainstream media has begun broadcasting largescale events, both internationally and in Australia. The 2014 League of Legends World Championship was viewed by more than 27 million people on ESPN, and this excludes streaming views, which can attract up to 30 million more viewers. Last year, the BBC provided coverage for the League of Legends World Championship being held throughout Europe.

Similarly, FOX Sports in Australia recently broadcast the Counter Strike: Global Offensive (CS:GO) tournament held in Melbourne – the first major event in Oceania to be promoted by a mainstream broadcaster.

Similarly in 2015, Melbourne hosted the League of Legends International Wildcard Allstars event, where the best players from the world’s smaller gaming regions such as Turkey, Russia, Japan, battled it out for the opportunity to compete against the world’s top all-star teams. The production value of this tournament rivalled interna-

tional events, with big eSports names attending and visual displays matching those hosted in Korea and North America. Events like this promote the Oceanic region as a plausible host for future international events.

ESports in the Oceanic region is still a growing scene. Classified as a wildcard region, Oceania is still improving, with the hope of one day challenging the world’s top regions in international tournaments. The region is plagued by a lack of funding and poor infrastructure, which hold it back from successfully competing against the top teams from Korea, Europe, or North America.

Regional gaming servers are a relatively new addition to the Oceanic eSports scene, allowing players from Australia, New Zealand, and the surrounding region to play against each other. Before the introduction of Oceanic servers, players used international servers, which resulted in large lag spikes and a significant disadvantage against native players. The development of Oceanic servers finally provided Oceanic players with the same opportunities as other regions.

With a lack of funding comes commitment issues from players, who need to balance practice and paid work, something larger regions have overcome with the introduction of annual salaries to players. Pro-gamers have to spend at least an hour or two each day exercising and keeping themselves in shape. Gamers cannot afford to have their reflexes slacken so taking care of their mind and body is paramount to their success. Teams live together in gaming houses, working with their coaches to draft successful rosters and strategise tactics for their upcoming matches, just as any other traditional sporting team would do.

Riot Games – the company behind League of Legends – pays players a fee per game, however more is needed from sponsors to cement Oceanic eSports as a competitive region to challenge the international scene.

If you want to get involved in eSports at ANU, or learn more about the Oceanic eSport scene, make sure to join the ANU eSports club or ANU Anime and Gaming Society (www.anuags.org.au).

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You Can’t Fly In Real-Life Quidditch Merryn Christian Yes, the title is 100% true. You really can’t- but that doesn’t change the fact that Quidditch is undeniably the most exciting, exhilarating sport I’ve ever experienced.

As a diehard Harry Potter fan, I came to the sport through the Harry Potter Club and was super keen from day one. The idea that I could actually do something that I had only ever seen on screen or read in books was unbelievable.

As time went on though I was quickly faced with the reality that playing quidditch was going to be very different from just being a Harry Potter fan.

Wizard Quidditch is a really rough physically demanding sport, but they have the luxury of magic healing and flying. We did not have that. I was tackling people and frantically running around thinking I had gotten in way over my head. Luckily, I soon found the best part of quidditch, and

shockingly it wasn’t even that it was from Harry Potter! It was how progressive the sport is.

I played a moderate amount of sport growing up, but would’ve never called myself athletic. Years of PE Class, Inter-School Sport, and Community Netball/Soccer lead me to the firm belief that what mattered was who was fastest, fittest, and strongest. Victory was a numbers game and I never fit the bill, so I mostly stayed out of the way. Then I found myself knees-deep in quidditch and suddenly I wasn’t the slowest or weakest person on the squad, and what’s more, it didn’t matter. Quidditch rewarded you for quick, smart thinking and understood that not everyone was the same.

I played with 5 foot girls who could take down anything in their path, and 6 foot guys who analysed and countered your actions in an instant. I was finally valuable and useful on the pitch and I loved it.

I met the most amazing community of people. There are over 20 teams in Australia from cities and states across the country, and more starting every year. Everyone in quidditch knows everyone and they’re all beyond welcoming and fun. Over time, I started longing for road trips down to Melbourne to play the Victorians, and became best friends with Queenslanders.

I decided very quickly that I wanted to be a part of everything this community had to offer so I became involved in running the club, first as secretary of the new official ANU Sports Club in 2014, then President a year later before passing on the reins and taking up secretary again. I’ve attended nearly 15 interstate tournaments and two national championships. I can’t imagine giving up the sport or the club and moreover, I couldn’t conceive of my life without quidditch.

you’re keen to try out a new sport that just might become the best part of your year, this is the perfect time to join. We train twice a week and welcome new people all throughout the year. No immediate commitment is required, so come along and train with us for free before making up your mind. 2016 has so much to offer in the quidditch world with NSW (including ACT) vs VIC State of Origin games starting up and the national team training for the World Cup in July.

Join our Facebook group – ANU Quidditch Club – or like our Facebook page “facebook.com/ANUOwls” to learn how to get involved with playing or spectating and discover what I and so many others found: a truly unparalleled sporting experience.

If you’ve ever dreamed of playing or

The Niche Art of Mountain Unicycling Nikki Armstrong There are many different types of unicycling. Freestyle, trials, road, distance, mountain unicycling (“Muni”), touring, unicycle basketball, hockey and handball.

Munis are built stronger than road unicycles with a 3 inch tyre and chunky tread, a handle at the front of seat, and can have a brake and geared hub. This is all useful for climbing hills, dropping off obstacles, hopping and speeding downhill. It is one of the most extreme forms of unicycling and precautions are paramount to the cyclist’s safety. You need to learn how to pull-up quickly, hop on the spot, hop onto or over obstacles, and twist on the spot. Protective gear such bike helmet, knee and elbow pads, shoes, leg armour on the back of your legs (to stop the pedals from ripping the skin if you slip), and wrist guards and gloves are all mandatory if you want to not break and scrape everything in your body. However, most unicyclists I’ve spoken to haven’t had many serious injuries since it is easier to land on your feet off a unicycle compared to a road bike (fun fact!). Most injuries have come from when people are tired or when they are trying to do stupid stuff (e.g. jumping off three floors).

Typical muni competition events include cross-country, downhill or uphill. If you’ve already mastered road unicycling, it’s worth giving muniing a try with experienced people to help you out. The A.C.T. Unicycle Riders Society run practice sessions in the hall at Canberra High School Wednesdays 7pm-8.30pm. This is the best starting point if you want to learn how to unicycle or if you already know and want to meet more of our kind.

Some great places to muni in Canberra are Bruce Ridge, Mt Majura Pines and Mt Stromlo MTB Park. (between Duffy and Coppins Crossing). Some of the most exciting riding I’ve seen is at Uninats each year- the date and place for 2016 is still to be announced.

Some of the best riders I’ve witnessed are 6 or 7 years old, partly since they are such keen beans- so confidence and courage is really key.

I recommend having a look at mountain unicycling clips on Youtube because they are pretty hectic to watch.

I also recommend not watching the unicycling fails.

The A.C.T. Unicycle Riders Society

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Satire & Humour

Area Woman Admits to Purposefully Losing Her iPhone “For The Thrill” Jeevan Haikerwal Reports today confirmed that area woman Sloane Anderson has purposefully misplaced her iPhone just to “see what it was like”. Before this incident, the 34-year-old lawyer was reported to have up to a maximum thirty minutes per day where she did not check her phone.

The iPhone 5C (Blue) was filed as missing on 04/02, just after 2pm. Anderson, who blindfolded herself, spun around for five full rotations, and proceeded to wander around the room until she was so disorientated she did not know where she was, is a self-described “modern” worker.

“It just kept buzzing, demanding my attention,” she told Woroni. “Most of the time it’s a colleague, but more and more it’s ‘Breaking News!’ or ‘Update your profile!’ or ‘Play Candy Crush Now!’”

“My heart was pounding when the blindfold came off”, and boyfriend Jim Morrison reported that the incessant tapping out of texts ceased for longer than usual.

“I had to check she was okay. It usually means something terrible has happened, like a dead relative or a lost Instagram follower”, revealed Morrison. “When she told me she’d put her phone down, and didn’t know where it was, I was surprised she spoke with glee, not frantic fear. I asked her if it was in her pocket – that’s the usual place – but she stopped me”.

now subsiding.

Randal Tsaloukis, Anderson’s boss at Murray & Phillips Solicitors is, as obtained exclusively by Woroni, “getting really annoyed now” about Ms. Anderson’s sudden unresponsiveness.

Ms. Anderson explained that she’d just wanted “some peace and quiet” for once, and reports have determined that the initial withdrawal shakes are

Satire & Humour

A How To Guide For Men’s Rights Activists: Dealing With Feminism in the Modern Age Ruby Smyth

Caution: May contain ideas different from your own.

Are you a self professed intellectual struggling to win arguments online?

Struggling to get laid with so many misandrists and lesbians trapping you in the friendzone? Struggling to pick between a bucket hat and a fedora for tonight’s shindig?

Just as your brothers before you, your agony can be traced to the growing pestilence known as feminism.

This movement for world domination aims to destroy manhood and is the leading cause of testicular cancer.

Feminists can be easily recognised and managed if you know how to spot them. An air of confidence easily distinguishes a feminist, as if they are proud to be a woman?? (Don’t forget; men can’t be feminists because the word has FEM in it, which may threaten masculinity). They may also have a misguided sense of importance, which in turn leads to them talking

about themselves and other women occasionally. This is a trap. Raising your voice over hers and giving your superior opinion on current issues is the best way to remind her how attractive humility and subservience are.

Some feminists will also bring up the topic of “respect” in conversation – if so, run! They will probably broach the subjects of consent and – worst of all - “rape culture”, a highly fictionalised idea that diminishes the ability to court a lady. I mean, when Prince Phillip kissed Sleeping Beauty while she was sleeping in 1959, it was “romantic” and “chivalrous”, but when Tyler kissed Sarah while she was sleeping in 2015 he was “a menace” and “had to stop picking locks on bedroom doors”.

See how the advent of feminism has ruined everything?

The worst feminists, however, are the ones who can’t take a joke. They play dirty mind tricks to try and con-

vince you it’s YOUR fault a joke YOU made makes THEM feel unsafe or uncomfortable. These feminists are a lost cause. With “independent agency” and an “awareness of the everyday gender biases that subtly inform almost all of their interactions,’ they almost definitely will not want to date you. Don’t bother with pity; it’s too late for them now.

With this helpful guide, you should now be able to identify feminists quickly and make efficient escapes.

Keep this in mind as you make your way through the top levels of the social hierarchy in 2016

Week 2, Semester 1, 2016

Woroni

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Artwork by Ria Pflaum

Satire & Humour

Your Horoscope for the Month of March Everything you need to know for the next thirty or so days.

Zoe Saunders Are you a spiritual being on a human journey? Do you love Boho fashion?

Did you go to India to “find yourself” on your gap yah? This segment is probably for you.

AQUARIUS

Expect to run into an old friend today - just make sure you have third party car insurance and Mercury’s moon will have your back.

PISCES

Love is in the air for you Pisces. Don’t be scared to put yourself out there.

Send that 4th un-responded text.

ARIES

The equilibrium of Europa places the sun in alignment with your sign this week. Now is the time for things to fall into place. Or out of place. This could really go either way for you.

Good luck with that.

TAURUS

LEO

As Saturn’s 4th moon comes into alignment; now is the time to take a risk. You know how you always get butter chicken at that Indian place near your house because you’re too scared to try something new that you might end up not liking and losing $12? Take that risk this week. Spice up your life! Also, get a more interesting problem.

As Mars completes its 18th revolution, now is the time for a good spring-cleaning. You should probably stop reusing dirty socks.

GEMINI

Jupiter’s anterior is in the lower quarter – now is the time to move on from the past. So shut the fuck up about your fucking gap year Liam.

CANCER

Still recovering from the heartbreak of Valentine’s Day, you and your cat will unsuccessfully attempt to patch things up after she chose your mum’s lap over yours.

VIRGO

The stars predict humiliation for you this week when you start recommending Game of Thrones to people. Everyone’s been watching that show for years. Do you live under a rock? You truly do know nothing, Jon Snow

LIBRA

Don’t let Scorpio stifle your creative flair. If you really want to make a sculpture out of human toenails, you do you. You’re a #artist and not even your mum can stop you.

SCORPIO

Venus is reflecting off Saturn’s rings if you work hard now things will fall in place. If you skip that 11am tute

you can definitely finish that 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle by the end of the week.

SAGITTARIUS

Virgo will meet the love of their life next week. Which really sucks because you’re a Sagittarius and have no other friends.

CAPRICORN

You are likely to be involved in a car accident later this week. Blame it on the lack of service stations if you want, but really you should’ve just pulled the car over to pee.

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Hidden Stories

Satire & Humour

Finding True Love at Burgtoga: The Venn Diagram

As Explored Through Tom Cruise Movie Characters Madhav Fisher A short prayer from Trinidad James“All Gold Everything”.

‘This one for them colleges Them bad hoes at Spelman Shout out to them fresh [men] On Instagram straight flexin’ For about 20 years ( 19 8 3 - 2 0 0 4 ) , Tom Cruise was the biggest star in the world. As his career rose and fell, his characters have influenced the fragile male psyche, until men are all but pale reflections of Thomas Cruise Mapother IV.[1] “Cool, but what actually is this?”

This is a Venn diagram. Named after John Venn, I’ve used it as a guide for all those looking to find TRUE LOVE at BurgToga.

“Yeah, but what’s with Tom Cruise?”

Good question!

Simply, Tom Cruise is every man you will meet. He’s the perfectly proportioned mix of goofy, sexy, and creepy. The male version of “Sugar, spice and everything nice”.[2] These attributes, when in mixed just right, create the man you will find TRUE LOVE with.

“How were the Tom Cruise(s) chosen?”

By a mix of secret ballot, and my main PIC’s (Partner in Crime(s))- Messrs’ Trump, Judith Lucy, Gucci Mane and Joan Rivers.

“FO REAL?” Nah, soz, just me.

‘Top Gun’ Tom Cruise Guy Mmmm Maverick. Pecs? Check. Abs?

Too many to count. Aviators? Ok, I’ll go with it. This specimen, straight from ANU Gym, is everything you could want in the heaving darkness.

Loves getting sweaty and removing the shirt.

Sexy

Cruise Guy Here your Tom is a self-proclaimed ladies man, doctor to your soul, and been sitting behind you in every lecture for the past semester. You two “coincidentally” run into each other

Rain Man

Goofy

Top Gun

one will ever know.

‘Rain Man’ Tom Cruise Guy It’s the double act, two boys, one charming, the other not, come over to you and your friend. Who’s interested in who? Is this some sort of an ethics test?

Did he just say, “I’ll jump on the grenade”? Did he mean me? ‘If you can actually see numbers, could Jerry McGuire you help me with Stats?’

‘Tropic Thunder’ Tom Cruise Guy Power is sexy.

Tom Cruise as Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder was not. However, student politicians and Woroni editors have since followed his lead and looked to power to alleviate a poor personality. His method of seduction is simple; he’ll remind you who he is, which entails introducing himself to you, and explaining what he is. A process he will repeat, and repeat and repeat.

Ignore, you are better than this.

Edge of Tomorrow Interview with a Vampire

Tropic Thunder

Magnolia

Eyes Wide Shut

Creepy ‘Jerry McGuire’ Tom Cruise Guy ‘You had me at Hello.’ He’s funny, and it’s dark, so maybe he’s good looking.

Conversation flows, mostly from his end as he shouts that he does arts/ law, and wants that ‘mollah.’ You look at your best friend for confirmation about your pick, and hear another arts/law “lad” chatting her up. Look around; unlike Katie when she married Tom, they are everywhere. The haze of alcoholic vapour he emits will pass, and so should you.

‘Eyes Wide Shut/Magnolia’ Tom

all night. Best if you start running now. Otherwise: ‘have you experimented with Kubrick? Do you like Paul Thomas Anderson?’ No and No. Avoid at all costs.

‘Interview with a Vampire’ Tom Cruise Guy Were you Team Edward? This creature of the night is Edward before Edward. Sexually ambiguous and gender neutral; he’s something unusual and exciting. But when it comes to the mechanics of courtship? Hopeless.

Eye contact is not foreplay - no matter how deep. Is there more to him? No

‘Edge of Tomorrow’ Tom Cruise Guy The trifecta or TRUE LOVE. The three qualities of Cruise in perfect mix come together. Attractive, manipulates time and watches you sleep. But most importantly, he’d rather save the world then have a quick pint: priceless. But where is he? What does he look like? He might be 6 foot, rugged, and write for Woroni…. but 100% probably not.

HIS REAL NAME THAT’S REALLY ON HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE - Wikipedia [2] “PowerPuff Girls”- Cartoon Network [1]

Woroni

Week 2, Semester 1, 2016

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Hidden Stories