Woroni Edition 6 2015

WORONI WEEK 10, 2015 - WORONI.COM.AU - FACEBOOK, TWITTER & THE APP STORES

NO.6 VOL.67

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WORONI No.6 Vol.67

CONTENTS 1. Spoon Week Cover - Rocky Hammer 3. ANUSA Debates NUS Reaffiliation (continued on pg.4) - Maddalena Easterbrook

4. EDtalk: Health, Wellbeing and Safety on Campus - Janelle San Juan and Sophie Jones 5. Taking Up Arms to Promote Rural Health - Waheed Jayhoon 5. PARSA Elections - Waheed Jayhoon 6. Racism Is...

- Billy Sing

6. Pakistani Perspectives on Terrorism - Gareth Chee

7. Knight to Bangkok, Thailand - Ivana Smojver 7. The ANU at the Intervarsity Debating Championship - Phyllida Behm

8. ANZAC Day Ceremony - Gareth Chee 8. Real People Reviews - Anonymous Reviewers

No. 6 9. The Sad State of Rugby League - Zach Mackey 9. Frank Turner - Tash Seymour 10. Campus Style - Isabelle Lee 11. Riding Free - Christopher Reside

11. Fashion and Food at your Fingertips - Micci Hatch 14. A Snapshot of Singapore - James Bray 14. Banksy Does New York - Louise Keast

14. Art: A Less Than Spiritual Experience - Rory Caddis 15. Crazies and Racists: The Silencing of Palestinian Rights - Natasha Lenard 16. Spoon Theory & The Normative Population - Merryn Christian 16. “But You Can’t Be Disabled” - Shae Maree Nicholson

17. Spoon Week & Inspiration Porn - Ana Stuart 18. Too Many Spoons - Emmeline Taylor 20. ANUSA: The Cheap Date - Michael Petterson 21. FIFA’s Presidential Election: Why Bother?

- Ryan Graham 22 - 23. Careers and Jobs - ANU Careers Centre 24. Winter is Coming - Maeve Bannister 25. Science Students - James Barrett

25. Pushed to the Limit - Georgia Eccles 26. The 7 Unwonders of the World: The Derveze Crater - Zeno

27. A Wedding Like No Other - Paroksh Prasad

28. Moroni - Titus Livius Patavinus

A C K N O W L E D G M E N T S ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF COUNTRY

Woroni is published on the land of the Ngunnawal people.

We respect elders past and present and recognise that the sovereignty was never ceded.

Advertising inquiries and submissions can made at: advertising@woroni.com.au Phone: (02) 6125 9574 Shop 15, Lena Karmel Building 26 Barry Drive, Acton 2601

BOARD OF EDITORS Editor-in-Chief - Alex Catalan-Flores Deputy Editor-in-Chief - Jacob Ingram Managing Editor - Abigail Widijanto Content (Contributions) Editor - Beatrice Smith Content (Multimedia) Editor - Rashna Farrukh Content (News) Editor - Sophie Yates Radio Editor - Ellen Stokes

S TA F F Simone Proctor - Administrative Assistant Siobhonn Shannon - Proofreader Woroni is printed by Capital Fine Print.

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SUB-EDITORIAL TEAM News Correspondent - Maddi Easterbrook News Correspondent - Waheed Jayhoon News Correspondent - Anna Kaufmann Science - James Barrett Comments - Jessy Wu Features - Vincent Chiang Satire & World - Hugo Branley Arts & Reviews -Benedicte O’Leary Rutherford Arts & Reviews - Ria Pflaum Life & Style - Paroksh Prasad Sports - Zach Mackay International - Virgina Harding Radio - Megan Shellie Radio - Jeremy Jones Radio - James Bernasconi Radio - Isaac Dugdale

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Week 10, Semester 1, 2015.

ANUSA DEBATES NUS REAFFILIATION CAMPUS NEWS A major divide between ANUSA representatives over the issue of re-affiliating with the National Union of Students (NUS) came to light in last week’s SRC meeting. After hearing from the National President, National General-Secretary and the National Educational Officer of the NUS, SRC members debated whether the defunding of certain Office Bearers, NUS financial mismanagement and upsetting behaviour during NUS conferences should result in disaffiliation.

According to NUS National General-Secretary Tom Nock, the NUS is a “confederation of student associations around Australia”.

The NUS recently faced criticism after it was revealed during the 2014 NUS National Conference that the organisation had accumulated approximately $300,000 in deficits over three years, despite reports from consecutive NUS GeneralSecretaries that the budget was in surplus.

“The reasons for that were poor record keeping and poor management by Office Bearers, but also we did have a difficulty with auditors during those years… the auditors did not give the Office Bearers the tools to interpret the information and the Office Bearers misinterpreted the report of the auditors,” said Nock.

Changes to NUS service providers, the halving of the NUS National Office in Melbourne, and cuts to travel and discretionary expenses made available to NUS National Officers, have resulted in over $150,000 in savings. The original travel budget is now around $50,000, down from the previous amount of $70,000.

Nonetheless, lack of stability and the unpredictable revenue generated by affiliation fees

MADDALENA EASTERBROOK, NEWS CORRESPONDENT paid by student associations nationwide is still a concern for the NUS.

part-time at minimum wage.

NUS National President, Rose Steele, said: “I would like to see NUS in the financial position where it can have really effective campaigns that are being run that are fully funded and honoraria is equal… that can happen if we have higher funding and higher affiliation fees from universities across Australia.”

“The fees from [the Student Services and Amenities Fee (SSAF)] go directly to the university and then the university can decide exactly how much it gives to the student association…

So we see really uneven amounts of SSAF distribution around the country,” said Nock.

ANUSA Treasurer, Sophia Woo, denounced the NUS as being “financially irresponsible.”

The National General-Secretary is constitutionally mandated to send a full affiliation invoice to student associations, but it is not expected that these associations pay the specified amount in full.

Instead, the NUS and the student association enter a “fee review process”, during which the association outlines the amount it is capable of paying and the reasons why.

“There are a lot of instances, and this is just from a quick Google, where I think possibly your organisation isn’t financially sustainable or hasn’t been for a very long time. [The NUS’] ABN was only registered in 2000 [yet the organisation] started in 1987, so that is at least 13 years that [NUS] hasn’t actually been a business entity,” said Woo.

“In the past ANUSA’s affiliation amount has varied… last year ANUSA did not get its SSAF allocation so was running on a skeleton budget, and NUS accepted the special circumstance and ANUSA [was] accredited for $3000,” said Nock.

Towards the end of the SRC meeting, ANUSA President, Ben Gill, put forward a new motion without notice that ANUSA does not re-affiliate with NUS, stating concerns regarding the cuts to autonomous departments and poor financial governance.

“It is quite evident on what ANUSA could do for NUS but not necessarily clear on what NUS can do for ANUSA,” said Gill.

Furthermore, the report from a structural audit of the NUS commissioned last year recommended that the NUS “blend” the specific departments within the organisation in order to focus more on campaigning and take less money from Office Bearers.

The motion was seconded by ANUSA Vice-President, James Waugh: “what we are considering doing is really serious because Australian students do need a strong national body, but it is evidently clear from what has been conceded by NUS today, that the NUS isn’t that strong national body… especially when we compare it to what our departments could do with $5000…”

“We were paying a part time honoraria of about $15,000 to individual Office Bearers but they only had about $1500 to work with. We want to reverse that dynamic so that there is a lot more money going into the campaigns…” said Nock.

It was decided by delegates at the 2014 Conference that funding for the Disability, International and Indigenous Office Bearers was to be cut, while Women’s and Queer Office Bearers would remain paid

ANUSA Women’s Officer, Loren Ovens, criticised the NUS Women’s Officer due to an absence of communication and a

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lack of focus on the issues directly affecting female students.

“In the past two years there has been no contact; in my meeting this year, the only topic we spoke about was fee deregulation, and I have had one email since…

I think that there are issues relating to specific departments that deserve attention and can’t be addressed through blended campaigns,” said Ovens.

However, ANUSA GeneralSecretary, ANU Union Chair and NUS ACT Women’s Officer, Megan Lane, said, “deregulation disproportionately affects women because women will spend twice as long paying off their HECs… so as far as I am concerned, in the year when deregulation is being debated, that is the thing I want to see my women’s officers talking about…”

ANUSA Queer Officer, Kat Reed, came out in favour of Gill’s motion, stating, “I cannot support an organisation that silences minority groups.”

ANUSA Disability Officer, Ana Stuart, said, “The NUS have removed certain honoraria but they haven’t increased any of the budget that the officers have to work with. For disabilities in particular, the campaign that NUS ran was disgusting; it has a very victimising mentality. The quote is ‘Having a disability is already expensive enough’.”

Jock Webb, ANUSA Education Officer, spoke of his experience attending the 2014 Conference as a delegate affiliated with the National Independents.

“The National Office Bearers need to seriously think about how everyone conducts themselves on conference floor in terms of the mental health effects that it has had on people, in [the National Independents] particularly,” said Webb.

CONTINUED ON THE NEXT PAGE.

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WORONI No.6 Vol.67

CAMPUS NEWS ANUSA DEBATES NUS REAFFILIATION CAMPUS NEWS CONTINUED FROM PAGE 3 Yet Lane maintained that every delegate experience is different.

She also attended the Conference last year but as a member of Labor Right’s Student Unity.

“What Jock experienced in the harassment and the mental health space, I can’t say that I personally experienced [it]… people don’t run around with pitchforks and nail people to walls…If you respect other delegates, you’re less likely to be disrespected,” said Lane.

MADDALENA EASTERBROOK, NEWS CORRESPONDENT the nation,” said Webb.

Those against Gill’s motion cited the benefit of being represented by a national advocacy body when at present the future of tertiary education is unstable.

ANUSA Social Officer, Jack Gaudie, said, “We are a fortunate campus that gets a large amount of SSAF and I think that we have a responsibility to those who don’t, to contribute on their behalf. But more so, I think that we have a responsibility on behalf of ANU students, who are the people we represent, who will be the people put out in the cold, by not re-affiliating.”

“When you’re talking about what you’re paying for when you’re affiliating, you can’t measure it in terms of materials that you receive, it’s measured in terms of political lobbying power that represents all students across the country… this is the peak representative body for us across

It was decided that voting on Gill’s motion would be delayed until the next SRC Meeting, which is set to be held on the 26th of May 2015. Students are encouraged to email Ben Gill and/or Megan Lane if they wish to find out more about NUS affiliation.

A full detailed SRC Report will be published in due course.

ED TALK: HEALTH, WELLBEING AND SAFETY ON CAMPUS CAMPUS NEWS On Tuesday 21st April, around thirty students met with Vice Chancellor Professor Ian Young, Pro-Vice Chancellor (Student Experience) Richard Baker and Head of the ANU Counselling Centre Carolyn Farrar in an Ed Talk in the Brian Kenyon Student Space to discuss their concerns about health, wellbeing and safety on campus.

The Talk provided an opportunity for students to highlight areas they believe the university needs to work on.

Students raised the issue of cyberbullying in the Facebook group ANU Stalkerspace. While students acknowledged the limited capacity for the university to intervene on a non-endorsed site, they voiced concerns about the lack of accessibility and transparency of university cyber policy, particularly the current reviews, policy enforcement and consequences for offenders.

JANELLE SAN JUAN & SOPHIE JONES mental health was heavily discussed. Baker said that the university was aware of “periods of stress”, identifying May and week 4 of semester.

He explained plans to train staff, especially lecturers of first year courses, in addressing mental health. But Baker also expressed support for student participation, noting plans to engage mental health organisation Batyr in university-wide initiatives.

Student Odette Shenfield commented that the responses “[put] the responsibility back onto students, rather than looking into whether assessment structures themselves contribute to mental health problems (e.g. the bell curve at the law school).”

Baker noted that the university has previously intervened by contacting Facebook and individual students. He stated that disciplinary action depends on the nature of the offence and encouraged students to report harassment to the university.

Concerns were also raised that some lecturers did not use Education Access Plans (EAPs) as evidence for special consideration; EAPs obtained from Access & Inclusion for students registered with a disability are used to advocate for reasonable adjustments to assessments.

Baker stated that “the onus [is] on lecturers to heed advice,” but agreed that this is an area to be worked on and has since sent follow up e-mails.

The connection between assessments and

Asked about the success of the night’s

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discussions, ANUSA Education Officer Jock Webb said that “a lot of the answers given raised more questions” but would shape topics for future Ed Talks with student focus groups and members of the university executive.

Webb stated the goal of the Ed Talks for the year would be to compile a report and “create actionable items”.

“That we have access to our Vice Chancellor on a semi-regular basis to have discussions about these topics is unheard of,” said ANUSA President Ben Gill. The talk challenged the university executive to consider areas often neglected. Regarding reviews of mental health in the College of Law, Shenfield commented, “I found the response that individual teachers were influenced by the report but that no institutional change occurred disappointing.

That said, I was really impressed that Richard Baker sent a follow up email offering to meet and discuss the issue further!”

Webb further noted, “Ian’s taking notes […] that’s a really positive thing to see.”

Notes from the event can be accessed at renew. anu.edu.au/ed-talks/

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Week 10, Semester 1, 2015.

TAKING UP ARMS TO PROMOTE RURAL HEALTH CAMPUS NEWS A group of concerned ANU students in the ANU Rural Medical Society (ARMS) have been travelling to remote areas outside the ACT and NSW to run “health check stalls” to bring further attention to rural and Indigenous Health. This initiative, as one of many health initiatives run

by ARMS, works towards ensuring the proper level of medical responsiveness in rural areas.

“ARMS is a group of ANU Medical School student volunteers with over 250 student members. It aims to promote careers in rural health to students, advocate for rural health issues, and encourage students from rural areas to pursue careers in health,” said ARMS President Emily McLeod.

McLeod stated that ARMS recognized the prevalence of health issues facing rural, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities. According to reports conducted by the Australian Bureau of Statistics and researchers within the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, Australians living outside major cities have a higher rate of, as well as higher risk for, developing a large set of detrimental health factors. This includes lower life expectancy and higher death rates, presence of chronic diseases, and a higher prevalence of unhealthy behaviours such as smoking, alcohol consumption, and obesity.

This is particularly alarming given that the reports indicated that nearly a third of Australians were living outside metropolitan

P A R S A CAMPUS NEWS The Postgraduate and Research Students’ Association (PARSA) will be implementing changes approved last month to the election process of the Postgraduate Representative Council (PRC). The PRC, made up of 29 elected members, represents all postgraduate students at the ANU, advocating for their interests and organising events. Elections will run from Monday 18th to Friday 22nd of May, following a brief campaigning period. All postgraduate students are members of PARSA, eligible to stand for election to the PRC and are strongly encouraged to vote.

The 2014 election process was fraught with difficulties, resulting in a call for such a rule alteration. However, PARSA’s new constitution, adopted by special resolution during the PARSA OGM in March, will not be in effect for these elections. The necessary ratification of all constitutional amendments by the University Council is not able to occur until Friday the 29th May- after the elections will be concluded.

WAHEED JAYHOON, NEWS CORRESPONDENT area, and that these diseases are preventable in nature.

“The ARMS rural health show checks provide a benefit to both our students and the rural communities involved,” McLeod said.

Gautam Bhanot, ARMS’ Publicity Officer, also believes that these types of shows have a substantial impact in the success of rural health initiatives.

“Chronic diseases are prevalent in our society, and the signs are normally hidden. These health shows provide a platform for individuals to screen for these basic health signs and identify people who are at risk of developing more serious conditions,” he said.

This program runs on a consistent basis, with stalls being run almost every week of the month.

ARMS’ most recent health check stall was run in April at the Jerrawa Health Show, a one hour drive north from the centre of Canberra.

Alternate forms of awareness are sometimes propagated in its place, as was the case with the “Close the Gap” conference last March.

Funding for health and medical research has been traditionally lacking at the ANU in relation to the university’s more recognized International Relations and Public Policy faculties. As addressed during the ANU Chancellery’s “Have Your Say” talks which

ran from the 23rd May-8th April, ANU ViceChancellor Ian Young is hoping to inject some breath into medicine at the ANU through reappropriation of research funds. The ANU Medical School, an exclusively post-graduate degree, has taken steps to ensuring student awareness of rural health issues.

The ANU medical school has rural clinical schools based in Bega, Cooma, Young, Goulburn and the Eurobodalla Shire. All medical students spend a minimum of eight weeks in rural clinical placement throughout their degree and a quarter of each cohort spend an entire year in a rural town.

“The feedback from students undertaking the rural year is that the teaching, opportunities and hands on experience are plentiful - entry into the program has been competitive as the positive feedback spreads,” McLeod said.

“These long-term placements are important because exposure to rural health and rural placements during students’ medical degrees are associated with practicing rurally, and the longer the exposure the greater the likelihood.”

“We as a rural health club are proud to work alongside the ANU Rural Clinical School in ensuring that students have the opportunities to gain positive rural experiences and service these rural communities in need.”

E L E C T I O N S WAHEED JAYHOON, NEWS CORRESPONDENT The idea of quickly ratifying Sections 6 and 7 of the 2015 Constitution, to allow direct elections to be run, was discouraged by legal counsel. The entire document will thus be ratified together to ensure cohesion. Pending University Council ratification and acceptance by the Office of Regulatory Services, the new Constitution will take effect sometime in the middle of this year.

New election and discipline regulations, in conjunction with the PARSA Constitution as of May 2013, will control the elections. This year, election figures will be released alongside the overall results at the PARSA AGM, which will be held on Monday 25th May. The same day will see the first PRC meeting held, at which eleven officers will be elected by PRC members. Candidates are now required to select on their application form which officer positions they plan to run for in order to build transparency. Pending approval of the new PARSA constitution, 2016 will see a shift to direct elections whereby all officer positions will be appointed by the general postgraduate

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body’s votes.

PARSA has also made a move toward greater general understanding of information and electoral processes. Information sessions relating to the procedure were run during the first week of nominations, while detailed infographics outlining the process can be viewed online. Once all candidates are confirmed, individual profiles will be released to encourage general student involvement and to seek individual candidate support.

Other alterations new this year include limitations on when and where candidates may campaign, as well as the direct identification of what constitutes an electoral offence and possible retributions for them. Further details of the PARSA elections can be sourced online at parsa.anu.edu.au.

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WORONI No.6 Vol.67

RACISM IS...

BILLY SING

CAMPUS NEWS The International Student’s Department (ISD) recently ran an anti-racism campaign to raise awareness for racial discrimination occurring at the Australian National University. The campaign, named “Racism Is…”, was held in commemoration of the United Nations’ “Week of Solidarity for the Peoples Struggling against Racism and Racial Discrimination”.

The campaign comes after the occurrence of a racist scandal on another Australian university campus. Jake Lynch, an Associate Professor at the University of Sydney, waved money in a Jewish person’s face during an anti-Israel demonstration. The case was dismissed by the University of Sydney, despite claims that

Lynch’s behaviour was anti-Semitic manner and constituted unlawful harassment.

Racist incidents in Australia are most likely to occur in the workplace, at sporting events and on public transport, and will be typically aimed at minority groups, in particular to people of Middle-Eastern, African and Indigenous appearances.

In light of racist occurrences, the ISD manned a booth at Union Court last week where members of the ANU community were invited to share their thoughts on racism by entering into a photo competition, in which participants wrote down their views onto a white board and took

a snap with it.

A resounding number of racist incidents can be classified as “casual racism”, defined as comments or other actions deemed to be without spite or the intent to be discriminatory.

Students who partook in the initiative formed the overall consensus that no form of racism, whether it be implicit or “casual”, has any place at the ANU and in the wider Australian community.

ISD Liaison Officer, Lydia Zhang, said, “We all have one same ancestor. Stop judging your siblings.”

PAKISTANI PERSPECTIVES ON TERRORISM CAMPUS NEWS On the 17th of April, the Pakistan Student Association (PSA), in conjunction with the International Relations Society (IRS), hosted a talk highlighting “Pakistan’s Contributions in the War against Terror”. The event, held at MCC T5 to almost full capacity, involved guest speakers Brigadier Muhammad Asghar (the current Defence Advisor for the High Commission for Pakistan) and Her Excellency Naela Chohan (Pakistan’s High Commissioner to Australia).

Brigadier Asghar gave a compelling presentation on the impact that terrorism has had on Pakistan. Asghar contended that the global perspective on the issue (as propagated by mainstream media) is that Western countries have faced the worst of terrorism.

The reality, according to Asghar, is that developing countries with geographical borders to terrorist strongholds or safe harbours (such

GARETH CHEE as Pakistan) are most affected.

“Every day we are bombarded with news about the war in terrorism being fought in Pakistan.

However, in order to get a more accurate idea, it is very important that we look at both sides of the picture. Therefore, the purpose of this event was to provide people with an intellectual forum to enhance their knowledge about issues important not just to Pakistan but to the entire global community,” said PSA Media Officer Kumail Zaidi.

There have been approximately 400 reported terrorist attacks in Pakistan since 2001 - the most despicable of these being the 2014 Peshawar School Massacre which claimed the lives of 132 school children. Over half a million Pakistanis have been forced to relocate and billions of dollars of infrastructural damage has been caused as a result of terrorist

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activity. Asghar claimed that the human cost to Pakistan as a result of terrorism is one of the highest in the world.

In an interview with the Brigadier, he acknowledged that Pakistan has the most at stake from the “War on Terror”. Asghar agreed that the stability of Pakistan and its economic prosperity is inextricably bound to Afghanistan’s future, a neighbouring country whose instability and Taliban presence have allowed ease of access into Pakistan. The geographical proximity between the two nations makes them both vulnerable to each other’s influences.

However, with new presidential and parliamentary leadership in Afghanistan underway, Brigadier Asghar believes that incumbent Afghan president Ashraf Ghani is more open to the idea of cooperating with Pakistan on terrorism issues. However, he

also stated that the international community needed to maintain funding for Afghan Forces and that a total withdrawal from Afghanistan would have serious implications for the stability of the region, which has been a point of contention for some time.

“In this day and age it’s easy for people’s views to be shaped completely by the media. It’s therefore extremely important to hear from those like Brigadier Ashgar who have firsthand experience of a difficult international issue,” said IRS President Simon Papagiorcopulo.

“We’d like to thank Brigadier Asghar and High Commissioner Naela Chohan for taking the time to talk to students about this important issue facing their country.”

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Week 10, Semester 1, 2015.

KNIGHT TO BANGKOK, THAILAND NEWS The very mention of chess conjures images of Ron and Harry, foreheads blistering in sweat and blood as they painstakingly battle to recover the Philosopher’s stone and defeat the malicious Lord Voldemort. Instead, our very own Junta Ikeda sits poised with his eyes on the prize, in conquest of yet another opponent.

If only chess had been that easy for Ron and Harry.

Last month, Junta competed in The Doeberl Cup, one of Australia’s most prestigious chess tournaments which takes place annually in University House over Easter Weekend. It attracts up to 270 domestic and international players every year, and holds the title of the biggest Australian chess event with only the two-week Australian Championships attaining similar status. The Doeberl Cup was named after its primary sponsor, Erich Doeberl, and since its inception in 1963 has grown more popular, attracting a diverse crowd of competitors. The tournament is the longest running weekend chess event in Australia and in recent years it offers around $19,000 to the winner, the largest chess prize in the country.

IVANA SMOJVER Junta explains that as always the event this year was very competitive with “the mix of International Masters and even Grandmasters from overseas”. The player who holds the most number of wins, 12 to be exact, is Grandmaster Ian Rogers. Cam Cunningham, the ACT Chess Association President comments that “Canberra has a rich chess culture and it one of the strongest cities in the country”. This year, Junta scored 6/9 and placed equal 7th-12th out of a field of 70, a result which he hoped would be the perfect warm-up for his next adventure in Pattaya, Thailand.

For Junta, his affection with chess began when he was just young boy in primary school. Taught by his father, his talent soon became clear as he began competing in school and eventually developed into one of Canberra’s best (and youngest) chess players. However, despite travelling all around the world to play chess, Junta remarks that the Cup was an opportunity for fun, and he doesn’t even consider himself to be a professional player! In fact, he says that most of his time is spent studying and working in Canberra just like any other student.

However, his most recent major tournament, the

Bangkok Open, which was held from the 12th19th April, showed significant promise, with a win over 7th seed Polish Grandmaster Kamil Dragun, and a close loss to previous Bangkok Open winner and previously 3rd ranked world player Nigel Short.

Junta says that this year was especially exciting because it was the 15th session of the event and “there were 350 players in the two sections from 44 countries around the world”. Junta goes on to explain that not only was he excited to play more chess, but that he also enjoyed the fivestar hotel where the tournament was held and taking a breather from study and work in Canberra.

Junta hoped that he was able to play some “good chess” in Thailand to recover from his slightly under par performance in the last couple of tournaments. It seems that for this ANU student, chess is not just any ordinary hobby, but a burning intellectual pursuit which he hopes to continue for the rest of his life.

Happy gaming, Junta!

THE ANU AT THE INTERVARSITY

DEBATING CHAMPIONSHIP COMMENT Whether you joined the ANU Easters contingent as an experienced debater or a novice, the chances are you were a little uncertain about the competition. There were so many unknowns going into a university debating tournament for the first time. What kind of people would be there? Would it be very competitive? Would we only ever talk about the news and never socialise? But given Easters is the biggest annual development tournament in Australia, attracting hundreds of people every year, I should have had higher expectations. In the end, Easters was an overwhelmingly positive experience. The debates were interesting and challenging, but most importantly the social scene, particularly with the ANU contingent, was inclusive and so much fun.

In terms of the actual debates, Easters was a great opportunity for skills development. You can read as many news articles as you want, but the truth is that the best way to improve your debating skills is to practise. In the lead up to the competition, the ANU contingent had a few practice debates and a very successful day tournament., These were a chance to meet the other people in ANU debating and debrief about the debates over Thai food and Aldi wine.

The tournament itself was structured in a way that facilitated good feedback and the chance

PHYLLIDA BEHM to improve. Teams were paired against each other in an equitable way, so that teams of comparable skill level debated each other. This meant that even the best teams still found the debates challenging. Novice adjudicators also got the chance to improve by panelling with other, more experienced adjudicators.

The selection of teams for the final rounds was also very balanced, because every institution competing at Easters had a cap of three teams that would be able to break into the finals. This year ANU maxed out that cap, and ANU 1, ANU 2 and ANU 3 all made it to the final rounds.

This was such a successful result, especially considering that the ANU hasn’t done so well at Easters since 2009. Particular mention has to go to Bostan Nurlanov, who was ranked as the third best novice at the tournament, and to Jessy Wu, who ranked as equal fourth best speaker with Bostan on the overall tab. The shared sense of pride and excitement among the ANU contingent was electric when we found out the results at the championship dinner and the grand final.

As good as the debates were, the highlight of Easters was definitely spending time with the ANU contingent. Debating is a counterintuitive social scene – you would think that it’s hard to make friends with people who you

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argue with for hours at a time. And, partly for this reason, people tend to assume that debating attracts arrogant, over-confident wankers. This may be true in some cases (read: single-sex private schools), but not in the ANU debating society. Debating is a really bonding activity, because it always gives you something to talk about – and often talking about debating leads to conversations about other things you might have in common with the people you’ve just competed with. Easters was a fantastic opportunity to meet some new people and bond over your common interests – debating and exploiting the bar tabs effectively. Moreover, your ability to socialise, isn’t dependent on your skill as a debater. Everyone, whether you’re a total debating noob or a die-hard debater, is equally welcome.

So, congratulations to the ANU contingent for a great performance at Easters and, if you’re keen on trying debating, then don’t hesitate to get involved!

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WORONI No.6 Vol.67

ANZAC DAY REAL PEOPLE CEREMONY R E V I E W S LIFE AND STYLE

GARETH CHEE

On a cold Saturday morning I stood huddled with a small group in the courtyard of Ursula Hall. My mates and I were looking miserable, disappointed that the weather was not kinder in light of this special occasion. We walked to the Australian War Memorial and around us were thousands of Canberrans all bundled up in warm jackets or shiny military uniforms, ready to pay their respects at the Dawn Service. Not all Canberrans however were dressed as warmly, as the lights and music of Mooseheads resonated down the streets of Civic at the ungodly hour.

The War Mmemorial was packed with people when we got there. It was later estimated that some 125, 000 people attended the Dawn Service that morning. I couldn’t see further than 10 metres in front of me. The large screen on the memorial grounds was of great help to me in spectating the event. As the time for the Dawn Service drew closer, prominent members of both the RSL and the Australian Defence Force recounted the experiences of Australia’s servicemen and women during the war.

The myriad of experiences from nurses, gunners, sailors and families, effectively highlighted the diversity of the ANZAC experience. Moreover there was an emphasis on the struggles that soldiers faced when they came home, which does justice to encapsulate the entire experience of war, and not just limiting that experience to the battlefield.

The Dawn Service was simple and solemn. A catafalque party guarded the ANZAC memorial stone, as hymns were sung and prayers were said. The most striking aspect of the service was the unity of the Australian people in gathering to remember our fallen servicemen and women, and a speech made by the Chief of Army, Lt General David Morrison. “If war is a sin against humanity, then war itself is punishment for that sin.” I don’t think I have ever heard truer statement that sums up the nature of war.

BY ASSORTED ANONYMOUS REVIEWERS

TO MY MILDLY ASSUMPTIVE TAXI DRIVER: As is sometimes needed, usually when it’s raining, or more often after a long Thursday night spent hitting the glamorous and definitely hygienic highlights of the Canberra nightlife, the other day I ordered a taxi. I expected it to be a casual, brief affair – after all, last time I remember a taxi ride impacting my day was when I accidentally fell asleep and the nice driver had to prod me awake, but I digress. The taxi pulls up, and the driver is playing the smoothest of smooth radio stations – 95.3, so charmingly sponsored by The Buble himself. I open the door to get in, he looks me up and down, and immediately changes the radio to 104.1. My first thought – jokes on you, taxi driver, I actually love 80’s Madonna, is slowly replaced by a dawning realisation that my taxi driver is a judgemental son of a gun. I mean, just because my wardrobe consists pretty much solely of floral dresses and cardigans doesn’t mean I don’t love the greatest hits of country and western (and whatever else the C-list Australian celebrity is hosting that segment wants to play).

2 stars for judging on first impressions, but 4 because a little bit of Ariana Grande after a long day at work is surprisingly revitalising.

TO THE BEAUTIFUL GIRL WHO MADE ME REALISE WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL GIRLS:

The solemn tunes of Reveille and The Last Post echoed throughout the memorial grounds and served as a reminder of the horrors of war, and the sacrifices which are integral to its execution.

I spent my tutorial today not in deep intellectual breakthrough but rather transfixed by the beautiful girl who sat across from me, braids wrapped around her head, dark red cherub lips, velvet jacket draped across her shoulders… “Did you see her?” I asked my friend upon leaving. “I wish I were that beautiful!” At that point my friend drew me aside and told me what I have probably needed to hear since I first started pushing my way through adolescence: “you only think she is that beautiful because you believe you are not beautiful.” And you know what?

She’s right. I enact my own insecurities through an idolisation of other people.

Lest We Forget.

Thank you, beautiful girl. Thank you, 8

beautiful friend. Maybe it’s five stars for all of us.

TO AN UNNAMED LECTURER: It has been a long time since I have had a teacher who has inspired me to not just want to be good at their subject, but to actually do the work necessary to get there. This week, one of my lecturers (picture man in black, nonplussed expression, always seeming to overflow with energy) inspired me to do just that.

Not only does he refer to himself as merely a “fan” of the “rock-stars of philosophy”, he admitted to finding lectures more exhausting than tutorials, meetings, even conferences, due to his desire to make his students as passionate and excited as he is. Well, it did the trick. I’m off to do my readings now.

A distinction of stars for you, amazing lecturer.

BATHROOM BREAK As some of us know all too well, college is full of wonderful experiences, but also some, how shall we put it – interesting ones? Thursdays seem to be a particular springboard for these kinds of situations: a wonderful day when most lose their inhibitions, and some, unfortunately, lose control of their bodily functions. One particular Thursday, I thought I’d just better get in a pre-emptive bathroom visit before heading out, and stumbled across a young man (Boy? Man?) who had obviously not taken the same initiative I had and was currently emptying his bladder in a cubicle. Facing the wrong way. Facing outwards.

3 stars because you were so close man, so close, but 1 for complete lack of observation of your surroundings.

Have a real person you’d like to review? Send it to our Arts & Reviews team at arts@woroni.com.au

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Week 10, Semester 1, 2015.

THE SAD STATE OF RUGBY LEAGUE SPORT

The National Rugby League (NRL) has always had issues with its image and a perceived thuggery. Professional players from Australasia’s 16 top tier teams have not done their bit to help this image one bit, from defecating in hotel corridors to performing sex acts with a dog. Just recently, a match between the South Sydney Rabbitohs and Canterbury Bankstown Bulldogs was marred by disgraceful scenes of crowd and player behaviour. The Canterbury crowd threw bottles and coins at referees after a fair and lawful decision was made, and Bulldog Josh Reynolds was seen throwing a kicking tee at Adam Reynolds, as the Rabbitoh was helped from the field with a season ending injury. What has happened when a role model, instead of applauding a player out of support when injured, throws something at them? Games draw crowds of 15,000 plus, TV infinitely more. Seeing this on

ZACH MACKEY a Friday has the potential for the acts to be replicated in 500 junior games the next day. Children follow the actions of their role models.

These professional issues aside, rugby league has reached an even more upsetting low. At the start of April, the Penrith District Rugby League appointed security guards to control crowd violence at junior games. This is games being played by children. Under the age of 18. Still at school. And things have gotten so bad that these players and their supporters need security to keep them under control.

Last season, police were called to Allsopp Oval in Cambridge Park after an all-in brawl began on the sidelines between spectators and a reserve-grade team who took offence at heckling aimed at A-grade players. Not only the supporters and players were involved,

car loads of people turned up to join the fight, and the police had to be called to break it up. Another Penrith junior was banned for 25 years after running from the bench to kick an opposition player in the head. What incentive is there for parents to encourage their children to play a sport infiltrated with grubs?

There have been no issues to report yet where the guards have had to be called into action, but by the same token, how many people accelerate above 60 km/h once they pass the Barry Drive speed camera? It is sad this action has had to be taken, but hopefully it does some to curb the violence perpetuating a favourite past time.

It must also be stated that this is only one district out of all of Australia who has been reported in the media as employing security guards.

FRANK TURNER REVIEWS

What to expect from a Frank Turner concert: lots of vulgar tit jokes about your hometown, (and no, he doesn’t even know about Sky Whale), an opportunity to dance the way you do in your room all alone with complete strangers to songs that literally command you to do so and a lot of emotional bonding moments between a jumping, over-excited crowd and a short, tattooed Englishman who laughs as he sings, and doesn’t apologize for anything.

Turner comes to Canberra with his band The Sleeping Souls, a brilliant bunch of musicians who more than complement Frank and his own guitar. Its his first time being here but he makes up for neglecting us with a steady diet of new

TASH SEYMOUR

songs, old songs, demos from yesteryear and crowd favorites, including a few yet-to-be-released newbies like “Get Better”, and a song from his 2013 record, Tape Deck Heart – “The Way I Tend To Be”, which he swears is about the smell of a Koala.

The best thing about Frank is that he is so excited about his new material (“Folks songs for the modern age” – he calls them), and he wants his audience to be just as thrilled as he is. His energy is totally infectious and we’re not sure if he’d had a bit to drink before the set, but he comes on stage grinning from ear to ear and spends the time between songs telling hilarious anecdotes and openly sharing little personal stories about what (or who) has inspired his music.

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Frankly (pun not intended), he does a hell of a lot more talking than any band I’ve ever seen, and we love him for it.

“I Still Believe” is his last (official) song on stage, but it’s clear to everybody there that he will make a reappearance as the crowd (who all know the usual routine well), yell “one more song” at the curtains drawn over the offstage area. And of course, he does, returning with a vengeance, to play three more songs. The thing about a Frank Turner concert is that it feels like you’re a part of something. Frank really believes in the power of what he does, and if you don’t come out of it feeling the same way, then you’re a lost cause.

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WORONI No.6 Vol.67

LIFE AND STYLE

1.

CAMPUS STYLE 2.

4.

ISABELLE LEE

3.

1. Will: “Just make something up.”

2. Jacinda: “Jacinda with a D. Daaaah.”

3. Lewis: “If Brooks Brothers online has a sale, get on it.”

4. Anna: “Handmade dress from Emma Soup, Newie (Newcastle). Top Shop top. Nike shoes.”

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COMMENT

Week 10, Semester 1, 2015.

RIDING FREE

The Abbott Government’s recent decision to make welfare payments conditional on children receiving vaccinations may just be its most popular policy to date. Not only has the medical and scientific community come out in support of the policy, but we have also seen Tanya Pilibersek supporting the notion in the pages of The Age and the Greens have slapped down a regional branch for suggesting that vaccines were unsafe.

The No Jab, No Play, No Pay policy denies families who refuse to have their children vaccinated access to government payments like the childcare benefit, childcare rebate and parts of Family Tax Benefit A. It aims to increase the immunisation levels among Australian children by providing a monetary disincentive for those to continue to refuse immunisation, who are free riders in the system.

Dean Robertson has already noted the free rider problem with anti-vaxers in The Age. Briefly, the free rider problem refers to when actors in a population (“the herd”) receive the benefits of a particular program or policy, while they themselves do not shoulder any of the cost associated with the benefit. In terms of the No Jab, No Play policy, the free riders are the people that benefit from the greatly reduced chance of their child catching a

CHRISTOPHER RESIDE

variety of infectious diseases, while refusing to vaccinate their own child who avoids the discomfort of a jab. Additionally, the unvaccinated children reduce the overall immunity of the herd, and put other kids at risk.

But what implications can be drawn from this in non-vaccine, and even non-health policy spheres? What other areas of our society allow free riders to benefit at the cost of the rest of the herd?

One doesn’t have to look far. For example, welfare recipients are provided money by the rest of the herd, the taxpayers, while paying a minor amount of tax themselves, or none at all. Despite this, they benefit from the goods the government pays for with the taxes it collects from the rest of society. The free rider takes advantage of safe streets provided by the taxpayer funded police force, a strong national defence, fire fighters, public schools and even bulk billed GP visits. To the upkeep of these the welfare recipient contributes far less than the average taxpayer.

Now, all this is not to advocate a shift to a Randian style public sector and government service rollback. A safety net for those in unfortunate circumstances is important, and we have various public goods that are staples

in our civil system. Eliminating free riders in all the things listed above is impossible. But it is only fair and equitable to the herd that we try to reduce the incentives that exist for free riders, and the extent to which policies are susceptible to this problem. With the recent success of making welfare payments contingent on vaccinations, we should look to encourage other forms of positive behaviour. Why not make them contingent on a particular amount of community service being performed, or on proof that a recipient has made an effort to find gainful employment.

None of these are new ideas, but in light of support across the political spectrum for the Abbott government’s attempts to deal with the problem of free riders in disease prevention, maybe it is now possible to have a rational discussion about free riders in other areas of public policy.

Maybe this time, like on vaccination contingent welfare, the left might be ready to have an adult discussion.

Christopher Reside is a law student and Policy Officer for the ANU Liberal Club

FASHION & FOOD AT YOUR FINGERTIPS REVIEWS

MICCI HATCH

For all those foodies and fashionistas out there and for those who are both - here’s the perfect event for you. This is an event that’s an opportunity to Hustle up a new outfit at adorable fashion stalls and Scout out some divine food while listening to live music. And the best part? Entry is free! Where and what might this miracle of a market be? Why, at Hustle & Scout of course.

In terms of fashion it’s safe to say that there’s something for everyone. From pre-loved vintage clothing to the latest boutique trend; there are numerous stalls for jewellery, hats, clothes and even a cobbler. And for those of us on a uni-student budget, don’t despair.

Whilst many of the boutique stalls do have boutique prices there are also many stalls that are very affordable.

for all dietary requirements, from delicate baked goods for those with a sweet tooth, wraps, pizzas, meatballs and burritos for those with a bit more of an appetite, as well as fresh juices. For all the meat lovers out there Hard-core Carnivore offers a pulled pork roll that is to die for. BentSpoke also makes an appearance for the brewers and the beer enthusiasts amongst the crowd.

Bad puns aside, it really is worth visiting.

While the Autumn Market has been and gone, do not despair as the markets are usually seasonal.

If you’re more into making then you are buying, The Makers Collective offers groovy little workshops from silver smithing to crocheting; they’ll show you how it’s done with their friendly staff and classes ranging around the reasonable price of $30.

I was fortunate enough to participate in their “Terrarium Pendant Class” and found it a true highlight of my time at the markets. Not only did I learn a new skill while having a lot of fun, I also got to take home an awesome necklace (if I do say so myself). For those who know some creative kids or adults, who may not quite be up to that level of crafting, there are other stalls that offer simpler projects that produces equally trendy results.

Whether you are driven by music, fashion, food or family, the Hustle & Scout Market has something for everyone, so keep an eye out for the Fox and the Stag and next time they come to town. Grab some friends together and enjoy an afternoon of shopping and eating. After all, does life get any better than that?

Before you rush off to the markets be aware that the time of day that you choose to go will greatly affect what you get out of it. While it’s advertised as a twilight festival, it usually starts at 2pm and ends around 9pm, allowing for two very different atmospheres. The early stages of the festival create a warm, inviting, family friendly folk festival vibe, with cute little bakery stalls, colourful vintage décor and an adorable little chill-out area in front of the stage where indie bands provide sweet tunes for browsing the racks. However, as the sun goes down the atmosphere adapts, with the ambience taking on that of a funky fashion festival vibe with professional models strutting their stuff and a DJ pumping out beats.

On top of everything else the markets offer, The Forage offers a safe haven for those who find that fashion just ain’t their thing or those that find good food irresistible – or both! There’s a huge range of foods catering

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Interested in going? The markets are located at Hangar #47, 8 Point Cook Avenue in Fairbairn, which is great if you also happen to have an affinity for planes. Parking is free, but extraordinarily difficult to get, so if you can carpool it’s a great idea. ATM’s can be found on site but once again they are very busy so you’re better off taking cash out before you go.

PARSA 2016WELECTIONS* NOMINATIONS

CAMPAINING & DEBATE

Students nominate and run directly for positions.

You can only hold one of three positions types: a) general rep b) college rep c) officer

Information sessions held at the PARSA Office.

A presidential debate will be held.

As students will vote directly for officer they may inquire as to why a candidate is running for a given position.

You can run for 1 officer position and 1 of either general rep/college rep (but if elected as an officer you will also be a general/college rep.

Read the Election Regulations for 2016.

PARSA on Electi s as on i t a Regul 16 0 2 t a

PARSA n itutio Const une as at J 2015

ONLINE VOTING Direct Election

Comprised of 30 Representatives elected by the students.

2x CPMS Reps

Postgraduate students elected from the postgraduate body. **

2x CASS Reps Social Officer Education Officer

1 1 O ffic

Vice- President

er s

STUDENT BODY VOTING

President

nt

at i ve s

For example: NOMINATIONS

e

R ep resen

2x CBE Reps

5 Gen

ra l

Voted for by students in that college. Check our PARSA website to vote!

Represe

2x LAW Reps

e

You only need to log in ONCE. The elections will, for the first time directly elect the officers of the association by the whole student body.

i ve s

1 4 Co l l 2x CECS Reps

POSTGRADUATE REPRESENTATIVE COUNCIL (PRC)

2x CAP Reps

ge

COLLEGE BODY VOTING

2x CMBE Reps

V OT E 4

TE VO 1

Elected from the postgraduate body.

International Officer

STUDENT BODY VOTING

INFORMATION SESSION

tat

WORONI No.6 Vol.67

Environmental Officer

Indigenous Officer Treasurer

General Secretary

Equity Officer

Communications Officer

V OT E 4

CAMPAIGNING + DEBATE

VOTING

ELECTION RESULTS ANNOUNCED

*Following the March PARSA OGM a new constitution was adopted by the postgraduate students of ANU by special resolution. Any constitutional amendments must be ratified by University Council and submitted to the Office of Regulatory Services (ORS) to take effect. University Council stipulated that the entire constitution would not be able to be ratified until the 29th May 2015 as Council needs time to go over the entirety of the document. In an effort to allow PARSA the opportunity to run direct elections sought to ratify sections 6 & 7 of the 2015 constitution. However, legal counsel provided to PARSA suggested that it would be more appropriate to wait until the entire document is ratified so that it may be lodged with the ORS and take legal effect, as the postgraduate body voted in a new constitution and did not amend sections. Thus, pending University Council ratification and ORS acceptance, a new 12be held in accordance with the new Constitution Constitution will take effect in June/July of 2015. This will mean that the 2016 elections will **Representatives may in future be elected/appointed to certain roles eg. Womens Rep, LGBTIQ Rep, Disabilities Rep, CAPA Rep etc.

W PARSA 2015 ELECTIONS

Week 10, Semester 1, 2015.

INFORMATION SESSION Held at the PARSA Office

Welcome to info session

NOMINATIONS OPEN: Monday 27th April (week 9) CLOSE: Friday 8th May (week 10) Send your 250 word statement + photo for website.

In addition you may send a video with the same statement.

Requires a proposer and seconder. Nomination can be handed in or scanned and sent to parsa.elections@anu.edu.au.

If you wish to run for an officer position you must state this on your form. Please note you will not be able to run for that position unless there are no other PRC elected nominees.

PARSA Election + Discipline Regulations as at April 2015**

PARSA Constitution as at May 2013*

CAMPAINING & DEBATE Candidates statements made available to students.

Read the Elections Regulations to know where you can/can’t campaign!

VO

TE 1

VO TE 4

Comprised of 29 Representatives elected by the students.

2x CECS Reps

STUDENT BODY VOTING

COLLEGE BODY VOTING

POSTGRADUATE REPRESENTATIVE COUNCIL (PRC) 2x LAW Reps

2x CAP Reps

ELECTIONS 18 -22 May (Week 12)

14 College Representatives voted for by students in 2 x LAW Reps that college.

Check our PARSA website to vote!

2x CASS Reps

15 General Representatives Postgradauate students elected from the postgraduate body.

2 x CAP Reps

2x CPMS Reps

2x CBE Reps

Announcement of Elected Representatives made at AGM on Monday 25th May 10am meeting at the Arts Centre (Union Court). Number of votes per representative also announced.

1st PRC Meeting of 2015-2016 will follow the AGM in the same venue.

2x CMBE Reps

OFFICER ELECTIONS - Officers are elected at the first PRC meeting. To run for an officer position you must have declared the position on your nomination form. If no one elected to PRC has nominated for a particular officer position any PRC represntative can then nominate for that position in the meeting.

ELECTIONS OF OFFICERS all PRC vote

14 College Representatives

18 Team Members

15 General Representatives

29 Members PRC 11 Officers

President Equity Officer

VicePresident Communications Officer

Treasurer Education Officer

General Secretary Indigenous Officer

International Officer

Social Officer

Environmental Officer

For example: Elected Reps have declared on nomination forms an intention to run for an offocer position

Reps are nominated for President (+ seconded) in 1st PRC Meeting

Speeches and questions from PRC

13 Ratification on 29 May 2015). *PARSA 2015 Constitution will be in effect for 2016 elections (pending University Council ** For 2016 Elections see the “PARSA 2016 Election infographic.

29 Members to vote

Elected officer announced

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WORONI No.6 Vol.67

A

SNAPSHOT

WORLD When travelling to Singapore, it is quite often that you forget that you’re in a Southeast Asian Nation. Not to be mistaken as a province or island off China, Singapore is situated at the very southern tip of Malaysia. And unlike other Southeast Asian countries, Singapore boasts its position of being ranked third globally for GDP per capita. A tourist hub, one is able to see Singapore’s wealth as they land at its famous airport, Changi, the number one ranked airport in the world. Inside are a vast array of activities, including cinemas, sleeping lounges, gaming rooms, and a butterfly garden.

The reality of being in Singapore, however, hits you when you first exit the sliding doors of Changi Airport. If you are lucky, you might experience 30°C and 50% humidity. A normal day, one would expect 34 degrees and humidity ranging between 85-95%. Fortunately most of your time is spent in air-conditioning, whether

BANKSY ARTS & REVIEWS

OF

SINGAPORE

JAMES BRAY it be in a building or transport.

Travelling is extremely cheap in Singapore, with taxis costing about $1.50 per kilometre, taking you to the centre of the city in approximately 15 minutes. Once in the city, Singapore is not short of sightseeing ventures, with Marina Bay Sands – the second most expensive building in the world – and Gardens by the Bay being two of the more popular.

For lunch, hawker centres (outdoor food courts) are extremely sought after. A popular dish amongst many is known to be chicken rice, a simple dish but one that you will want to eat frequently while you’re there. The hospitality is second-to-none, and with English being the main language of Singapore, tourists often find it quite easy to get around.

The people of Singapore are easy to get along

DOES

with. From experience, many are willing to approach you and ask where you’re from, indulging in stories of their time in your home country. Students, regardless of what age, are extremely studious. It’s quite common that they are only able to get 4-6 hours of sleep every night throughout their teenage years. Additionally, attending university is highly sought after in Singapore, and almost a must amongst locals.

This does not deter them, however, from having a positive and happy outlook on their future.

Singapore remains to be a highly attractive and popular destination for tourists and western businessmen. Once one is able to acclimatise to the extreme weather conditions, they will highly enjoy their time laying on the beaches of Sentosa, making friends with the locals, and if you’re lucky enough - swimming atop Marina Bay Sands.

NEW

YORK

LOUISE KEAST

Beginning on Oct. 1, 2013, the nefarious Banksy revealed one work of art each day for a month amongst the streets of New York City. This self-proclaimed “residency” acquired a cult following of Banksy “hunters”: gallerists, art fanatics and admirers who would wait eagerly for their next installment of the scavenger-hunt style art tour of NY, addicted to the chase and the chance to capture a glimpse of the elusive artist’s street art before it was white-washed, vandalized or stolen.

of graffiti, to transportable installations and dioramas, political stunts and sculptures that teased audiences and excited fans. While Banksy would utilize his website and Instagram account to upload clues concerning the location of his latest act, he did not have any direct involvement with the director Chris Moukarbel or the documentary. The documentary was created and perpetuated solely by the Instagram and Twitter accounts of adherent fans of the residency.

The documentary, Banksy Does New York, surveys the hysterical month of pop-up pieces that ranged from unsanctioned works

What I found most interesting about all of this was the established NY art scene’s reluctance to acknowledge Banksy’s presence in their midst.

The cultural media disregarded Banksy’s “residency”, perhaps due to the association of graffiti with crime or the rogue‘s anonymity, however street artists regarded Banksy as a sellout due to his notoriety. In a niche of his own, however, Banksy’s works became objects of desire, disseminating greed and achieving prices at auction of hundreds of thousands of dollars. Banksy’s “residency” compelled people to venture to suburbs around NY they had never been, all sects of society involved in a pursuit that revealed the city in a light they had never before seen. Banksy asserts that “outside is where art should live … Don’t we want to live in a world of art?”t

ART: A LESS THAN SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE REVIEWS

Having never attended a public lecture at the National Gallery of Australia, I expected great things from the “Art as a Spiritual Experience” talk, a part of the James Turrell Exhibition. The lecture was given by Professor David Tacey, an expert on psychoanalysis and spirituality. Surely a good start to a powerful lecture? Unfortunately not. Although Professor Tacey began his lecture with the admission that he has very little knowledge of art history or art theory, I hoped that his lecture would be focused on the psychoanalytic interpretation of Turrell’s art, which would have been undeniably fascinating. Instead, his lecture revolved around Turrell’s Quaker faith and its centrality to his work.

RORY CADDIS Tacey saw the link between the Quaker faith and Turrell’s work as being focused on the inability to ever gain a true understanding of God. Turrell’s work was, according to Tacey, completely dedicated to the mystical and spiritual obscurity of God, which Turrell expresses through his use of light. While this topic was interesting, it became literally so boring after at least a solid 40 minutes of elaboration.

Although this interpretation was new to me, and an understanding of Turrell’s religious beliefs changed my own views on his work, the lecture was undeniably basic. It was like being back at a lecture in Manning Clarke. For non-students, tickets are about $25 – a ridiculously high price if the quality of lectures is 14

at this level - and, depressingly, this doesn’t even include biscuits or tea and coffee (students Canberra-wide were unimpressed). However, the lecture theatre was still packed, suggesting that the NGA’s other public talks are much better.

There were, thankfully, some positive aspects to the evening. Professor Tacey did give a comprehensive preview on the works of Turrell, even if his explanation of Turrell’s Quaker faith was patchy at best. Okay, well maybe there really aren’t too many good things to say… but the James Turrell exhibition at the NGA is amazing, and I do believe everyone should attend this unique exhibition while it is in Canberra.

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Week 10, Semester 1, 2015.

CRAZIES AND RACISTS

THE SILENCING OF PALESTINIAN RIGHTS COMMENT / WORLD

The “Israeli-Palestinian conflict” often flashes in and out of public consciousness in Australia. Recently however, “IsraelPalestine” is increasingly entering public discourse, not as a distant and far away site of conflict, but as an issue on which civil society is taking action. A recent highly publicised example, being the Wednesday 11th March Student protest at the University of Sydney, during a presentation by former British military colonel, Richard Kemp.

Regardless of one’s opinion concerning the use of protest as a tactic, there is a need to look beyond the rhetoric which has labelled the event as “radical”, “racist” and “anti-Semitic”, to ask why these students saw a need to protest, and why there has been such strong condemnation of this small non-violent demonstration.

The first question we should be asking is why did this protest occur? On one level it was due to Kemp’s well-known support for the Israeli Defense Force and his public sympathy for military actions against unarmed Palestinian civilians. On another, it was to challenge the University of Sydney’s decision to host Kemp as part of a wider speaking tour organised by the “United Israel Appeal”, an organisation with the stated mission “…to further the national priorities of the State of Israel”. What is important however, is asking why this matters. Why did students choose to protest a speaker who supports the Israeli Defense Force, and why would they challenge their university’s decision to host an event whose speaker

NATASHA LENARD

prescribes to the narrative of the Israeli state?

Palestinians have been living under Occupation in the West Bank, East Jerusalem and Gaza since 1967.

Numerous international, Israeli and Palestinian human rights organisations have detailed the systematic daily abuse of Palestinian rights, and yet in Australia we are made aware of a “conflict” in Israel-Palestine only during times of high intensity clashes, or when Israeli lives are lost. Rarely, are the day-to-day losses of Palestinian life and violations of fundamental rights mentioned.

Rarely is the power dynamic of the Middle East’s strongest military vis-àvis an Occupied, dispossessed peoples acknowledged.

Does it not follow that students should wish to challenge an event that feeds into such a one-sided narrative?

Public discourse sees viewpoints which uncritically support and provide platforms for the justification of Israeli actions, as “legitimate and moral”, dismissing voices that speak up against the oppression of Palestinians, as “crazies” and “racists”. Such responses are easy, they are accepted and they are the norm. They are not however, how I would expect students, who have grown up benefiting from the efforts of multiple rights movements, to respond.

Was the women’s movement madeup of “crazies”? Was the indigenous rights movement a racist one? Or were these morally centred movements that 15

disrupted the status quo and therefore received such titles at the time, but in reality worked to end oppression and promote equality?

A Palestinian living under Israeli Occupation, or in a refugee camp in Syria, does not have access to such avenues of change. Meaning that time and time again the Palestinian people have called upon the international community to act where they cannot.

In Australia we have so far responded by ridiculing or condemning those among us who have listened to their call as “crazies” or “racists”, or have resorted to conflating criticism of Israeli policies and actions with anti-Semitism, to shame and silence those who are criticising the actions of a regime, not a people. As students of the ANU, it is time that we challenge this hegemonic configuration of power. It is time that we educate ourselves, as to what is really happening in Israel-Palestine.

The well used trope that the situation is “too difficult”, is simply not good enough. Gross violations of human rights and the perpetuation of human suffering necessitate that we engage with complicated and difficult issues in a way that understands and challenges hegemonic narratives.

Instead, Australia is in the habit of shaming and silencing. It is time that we understand the power dynamics that allow Israel to unconditionally violate the rights of Palestinians - the same power dynamics that allow supporters of Israel to speak without restraint, whilst Palestinian rights activists are silenced.

W SPOON THEORY & THE NORMATIVE POPULATION WORONI No.6 Vol.67

FEATURES Spoon Theory was invented as a way to explain living with disabilities to the non disabled population. It explains that making any decisions for people living with disabilities is a harder process than for those without. Every action requires careful deliberation. Disabled people don’t have the luxury of infinite or even large number of spoons that normative people do, which allows them not to have to carefully account for every action.

It’s interesting therefore that since the conception of Spoon Theory it has been almost equally adopted by the normative population for situations where they perceive they have reached their personal limit. Something that was initially meant to be a distinguishing factor between disabled and normative populations is now equally used by both. Something that originally meant “Due to my disability, I can’t do this because I have to take more care deciding my actions” now means, more generally, “I am unable to do this because I have reached my personal limitation for the day

MERRYN CHRISTIAN

and/or need to conserve energy for a later activity”. The important question therefore is, is this a shift for the better or the worse?

Is Spoon Theory only relevant and/or informative if it remains exclusive? Or is there a place in our society for widely accepted language and dialogue around limits and physical/mental boundaries?

There are good arguments on both sides.

Principally, the argument for keeping Spoon Theory related dialogue exclusive revolves around the vastly more extreme struggle faced by those with disabilities and the risk of trivialising or lessening those people’s suffering to the level of normative people.

Spoon Theory was conceived to explain how a world of disability differed from that of normative life. If this worldview is now being co-opted by normative people it is going against its very intended nature.

Of course language and culture are eternally evolving and changing, and original intentions often mean little as a phrase or saying develops its own cultural

identity. The best thing about Spoon Theory is the fact that is draws attention to people’s abilities, or more importantly, lack thereof. It talks about limits and decision making in a way which is being understood and accepted. Before when asked out and responding with “I’m not feeling it”, one might suffer persistent attempts to change one’s mind. Now, if one instead answered “Sorry, I’m out of spoons”, that message is far more clearly understood. And that is of course the point of language, conveying a point clearly to be understood by the receiver. Spoon Theory is making people more tolerant and aware of other people’s limitation and choices, and how they may differ from their own. Whether this difference should really only be applied to people suffering from disabilities who experiences are greatly differentiated, or should be applied to all no matter how differentiated their abilities, is a question I don’t think has an easy answer, but is definitely worth discussing.

“BUT YOU CAN’T BE DISABLED.”: THE DIFFICULTIRES OF BEING A YOUNG PERSON WITH A DISABILITY FEATURES I think there has always been this preconception among “abled” people and older disabled people that young people cannot be disabled. In itself that statement can seem as outlandish as the stereotype, but over the last year I’ve been confronted with it time and time again. The most common incidents are the ones where I utilise a disability parking spot and other people who are significantly older than me and are also entitled to the spot tend to accost me for using it. I have been called inconsiderate, rude, and have been schooled by so many different varieties of people who, upon seeing my age, assumed that I was “stealing” a spot from them.

Each time I have encountered these types of people I try to politely explain to them that “Yes, I am young, but I am entitled to utilise this spot”, and every time I come away feeling embarrassed and frustrated.

However, these instances are not the only times I have encountered this stereotype; it’s almost an incomplete week if someone hasn’t abused me.

The variations in the way people approach me grows increasingly offensive and whether that is a product of my lessening tolerance is debateable. I encounter this

SHAE MAREE NICHOLSON

stereotype everywhere: when using the disabled bathrooms in shops, showering at the pool, parking, walking around in public, and even at the doctor’s office.

I have been asked countless times “Do you use your walking stick for aesthetic purposes?” because that seemed more plausible than the idea that I could suffer a disability. I’ve had encounters with people forty years my elder who are in the exact same boat as me, only, they think they’re more entitled to the oar.

I would never specifically point fingers at any organisation that serves to aid this stereotype but I think it is so intrinsic to the structure of our society that it is reflected in policy making and the way organisations approach young people with disabilities.

For an example, under last year’s budget, recipients of the Disability Support Pension (DSP) under the age of 35 who had claimed the pension within a certain time parameter were under review to check their eligibility.

Not to mention that from the beginning of 2014 there were specific changes to the DSP that involved a referral to a Centrelink doctor to confirm that you were eligible.

This is opposed to the original process where your own doctor would fill out a

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report. This change was issued to affect under 35’s first.

These subtle changes have the power to alter public opinion; you can have individuals seeing the reviews of recipients as double checking recipients haven’t been lying. Then that perception can ricochet down the social chain until you have individuals accosting young people with a disability because they “are clearly able”. It becomes a self-referencing loop where you have a public opinion shaping policies that shape public opinion and so on.

I think I would give one bit of advice to anyone who encounters this stereotype, for I know I am not alone in this: don’t think you have to be polite to an individual who has disrespected you because you are not as old as them. If you feel like being polite about it then by all means do what comes naturally, but never feel obliged. And if you’re someone who hadn’t really thought directly about this stereotype: please think about it and respond respectfully, no one deserves to be disrespected because of something out of their control, especially their age.

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Week 10, Semester 1, 2015.

SPOON WEEK &

INSPIRATION PORN FEATURES

Everyone knows that there is a massive social stigma associated with having a disability. But something that isn’t talked about enough is the stigma people face from themselves. People are naturally self-critical, and when you bring disability, chronic illness or mental illness into the list of thing you don’t like about yourself, it’s easy to feel like you’re less than other people.

For ages, I used to blame myself for my depression. I thought it came from a deficiency within me, that I wasn’t capable enough to deal with the real world. Mental illnesses are funny like that, they try and convince you that you should be totally fine and that there’s something wrong with you as a person, rather than feeling as though you’re legitimately unwell.

This makes it really hard to get help when you most need it. Because you’re too afraid to tell anyone if you need help, there isn’t a clear way forward and the spiral of anxiety continues. In a uni context, it’s daunting to try and talk to tutors or course convenors about what’s going on.

During my first year of uni, I didn’t sign up to Access and Inclusion (formerly Disability Services.) I was initially too scared to go in and talk to an advisor, in case I was told there was nothing they could help me with. I wasn’t sure if I was “disabled enough” to qualify for special consideration. In fact, most days I’m a pretty regular person. But when I’m having a depressive episode, I’m completely incapacitated. I struggle to get out of bed, I have no energy and can’t talk any louder than a whisper. The thought of dealing with any uni-related work is completely impossible. When this happens close to an assessment deadline (which it often does, stress and depression are good buddies like that) there’s no way I can talk to the lecturer to try to get an extension.

So, as I learnt the hard way, when you’re feeling better and are finally ready to face real life again, telling your lecturer

ANA STUART

“sorry, I was stuck in bed busy trying to hurt myself, uni wasn’t exactly at the forefront of my mind” isn’t an acceptable excuse for not talking to them before the due date.

attitude”. Photos like these objectify the person with disability for the benefit of able-bodied people. They also contribute to the narrow view so many people have of disability.

After learning that uni is slightly less casual with the whole deadline thing than high school, I had to toughen up and registered with Access and Inclusion. This helped me learn what services the uni could provide me with so that I’d be able to get the adjustments I need to do my work.

Disability is an umbrella term that covers impairments, activity limitations and participation restrictions.

It covers physical, sensory, and cognitive disabilities, chronic illness, developmental disabilities, mental illness… anything that differs from the so called “norm”. There is no set criteria to what allows a person to identify as disabled.

When I went to register, I was so terrified that I brought my mum with me. Luckily, the process of actually registering was very straightforward and all the advisors are very understanding and helpful, so I didn’t need Mum to stay for long. I was able to get adjustments to take my exams in rooms on my own and the process of how to easily apply for extensions was explained to me.

There’s a room for students registered in Chifley that has space to study with all kinds of equipment. But most importantly, I know my grades won’t suffer because I have a disability.

I still struggle with not shaming myself for still having depressive episodes. It’s hard to accept help from others when you don’t think you should need it, and even harder to reach out.

There’s so much pressure on people to not have any flaws. We’re constantly bombarded with messages that tell us we need to look, act, speak and think in a certain way. Whilst attitudes towards disability are slowly changing, it’s still something people rarely talk about openly.

It is seems that it is ok to talk about the things that you’ve overcome, but not before you’ve gotten through it. The term “inspiration porn” – a picture of a person with a disability doing an incredible physical feat, often accompanied by an “inspirational” message like “what’s your excuse?” or “the only disability in life is a bad 17

At the ANU, anyone who faces barriers or impairments to their full and effective participation on an equal basis with others is eligible to register with Access and Inclusion, and get adjustments in order to help them perform as well as they can.

Accepting your identity as a person with a disability takes time. For me, the way to find meaning in it is by being open about my experiences, and not letting the fear of judgement from others stop me from doing whatever I want to do. Not fearing the opinions of others helps me tune out the most critical, selfdestructive thoughts I have.

If anything within this article makes you feel distressed, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit the ANU Counselling Centre (http:// counselling.anu.edu.au) ANU Access and Inclusion can be contacted on 6125 5036 (http://disability.anu.edu.au/) The term “inspiration porn” came out of Stella Young’s Ted Talk (http://www. ted.com/talks/stella_young_i_m_not_ your_inspiration_thank_you_very_ much?language=en) Ana Stuart is the 2015 Disability Student Association Officer (htttp://www.anudsa. com)

WORONI No.6 Vol.67

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TOO MANY

SPOONS FEATURES It’s easy to be judgemental of people who spend their money in seemingly frivolous ways, like the couple on Grand Designs who overspend as much money as you could use to build a whole house again.

A similar dynamic applies to the way people spend their time. My sister spends hours making dresses she doesn’t need, just for fun. She is also into studio photography, spending up to an hour setting up a shot and many more hours editing it. She often gets accused of having too much time on her hands.

For people who are time-poor or moneypoor, seeing others seemingly fritter away their time or money is really irksome.

My pet peeve is people who have too many “spoons”. I wake up each morning knowing I have only so many spoons – the number seems to vary randomly depending on the day – and I have to allocate them carefully.

I can’t use them frivolously, or I’m going to be too knocked out to do the things I really want or need to do later in the day, or in the days following.

The following is a list of the type of people who evidently do not have to undergo the same mental spoon arithmetic that I do – or if they do, they are drained by different things to me.

1. The girl at the airport wearing plastic shoes A few years ago, the gaudy-coloured, sometimes sparkly, translucent sandals

EMMELINE TYLER

that I wore as a child in the nineties made a resurgence. They are totally cute but there’s no way I could have jumped on the trend.

My feet would have felt like they were suffocating, and I’d lose half a day’s worth of spoons just from wearing them on a five minute walk to the shops.

Travelling is also exhausting to me.

There’s a high chance of plans changing unexpectedly, and being in unfamiliar places is stressful also. On a normal, lowstress day, I might sacrifice some spoons to wear nice clothes – for example, I can wear skinny jeans for about 3 hours before I have to go home and tear them off – but wearing high stress clothing while travelling is out of the question for me.

So to see a girl who can wear comfortable clothing while travelling? She makes me feel like she has too many spoons.

2. My sister who ate eggs and then went shopping One day I was having breakfast with my sister and I asked her why she was eating eggs. “Oh, I’m not horrifically allergic to them,” she said. “They just make me lethargic for the rest of the day.” I was shocked. “Aren’t you going shopping after this?” I asked.

Shopping is so tiring. So many people, bright lights. I get overstimulated just from walking through a shopping centre, let alone the arduous task of trying on clothes and making decisions. If I am going

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shopping, I have to make sure I eat good food, and eat it right before I leave, so I don’t get hungry while I’m in the shopping centre. I have hypoglycaemia to add to the mix, so if I get hungry while I’m already stressed out, it’s meltdown time.

3. My friend who regularly stays up late on a school night unnecessarily Recently I rang a friend at 10:30am and woke her up. She had stayed up until 4:30am, just hanging out with mates. I just can’t do that. My sleep is very precious to me. Nine hours is optimal, but if I get less than eight hours, my productivity plummets. These days I have to get up every morning and work on my thesis, which is due very soon, so I can’t afford to write off a whole day just from staying up all night.

But it’s not fair to judge those annoying people on one instance of seeming to have too many spoons. Everyone has their struggles in life. My friend who stays regularly stays up all night has ADD, and would never be able to focus on writing a thesis all day even if she slept for nine hours. My sister who ate eggs and then went shopping has bad anxiety, so if she reads the newspaper she gets overwhelmed by the state of the world and the day is a write-off. And as for the girl wearing sparkly shoes at the airport, maybe she is time-strapped, and would be envious that I have heaps of time, so that I can spend it doing craft projects as well as studying.

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Week 10, Semester 1, 2015.

STOP THE

MASSACRE. W

WORONI

E S T - 19 5 0 19

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WORONI No.6 Vol.67

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A N U SA THE CHEAP DATE COMMENT

The National Union of Students (NUS) always garners discussion at ANU. It is the peak student representative body in Australia. Whether it be candidacies of fellow students, the merits of respective campaigns, or seemingly, the loudest of all, affiliation fees – everyone always has an opinion.

Affiliation fees to NUS are determined by two key factors: student population and the ability of ANUSA to pay. Not all students’ associations are equally able to pay which is why, per student, wealthier student associations are expected to and should, pay more than poorer student associations.

The current debate centres around what NUS wants ANUSA to pay ($6.25 per student) and what ANUSA wants to pay (41c per student). ANUSA’s proposal is this: $5,000 for affiliation from a budget of $1.4 million. The University of Sydney, with a student population three times greater and yet only a budget of $1.6 million pays $1.93 per student, for a total of $72,000.

The University of New South Wales SRC has a budget one fifth the size of ANUSA’s, totalling $300,000, yet three times as many students and it pays 61c per student for a total of $20,000. Nearly 7% of its budget. A stark comparison to the 0.003% ANUSA seeks to pay.

NUS has done an amazing job with the resources available to it – I’m happy for you to disagree with me on that

MICHAEL PETTERSON point because that’s not what this is about. What I refuse to accept in our campus dialogue is that students are better served by not having a national student voice and that letting nonANU students bear the weight of ANU students is fair.

On the former; following the Australian Union of Students collapse in 1984, Australian students were left to contend with no national representation for the first time since 1937. It took the Hawke Government less than two years from that day to abolish free education. In the fallout from these new fees, students reorganised and NUS was born. It is well within the realms of possibility that should NUS fail, deregulation would all too quickly be realised.

Reports from SRC 2 show the flawed logic some proponents of lower affiliation fees to NUS have put. If you want the disabilities officer paid rather than volunteering, and engagement in Queer Collaborations, as I do, then you have to pay higher affiliation fees, not lower. You don’t get more out of an organisation by giving it less operating revenue. NUS took the hard decision to defund certain departments last year because campuses like ANU persist in their campaigns to lowball NUS every year.

It pains me that ANUSA has continually reaped the benefits of NUS affiliation (in the form of thousands of dollars

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worth of campaign material, constant engagement by office bearers and office bearers themselves) and accrued the rights of NUS affiliation (ability to vote in the AGM) but has contributed only a miniscule amount to their provision.

If ANUSA wants a strong national union with well-funded departments and campaigns, it should pay appropriate affiliation fees. If ANUSA wants to reform NUS, it should pay proper affiliation fees and vote for change. If ANUSA wishes to destroy NUS, like a young Tony Abbott did to AUS, then it should pay no affiliation fees. The fence sitting and indecision of ANUSA is not remaining impartial, it is complicity in NUS’ demise.

Ultimately, what I can’t stand to see at ANU is hypocrisy; a body that reaps the benefits of what is effectively compulsory student unionism on campus (in the form of SSAF) should not be a voice against it nationally.

Imagine if ANUSA had to contend with individual students attempting to negotiate their SSAF payments – a nightmare for all involved with some sanctimonious chest beating from those who managed to pay the least.

The fact is that ANUSA has, for my entire time at ANU, been relegated to a state of freeloading and I fear that it will continue in this vein for the foreseeable future.

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Week 10, Semester 1, 2015.

F I FA’ S

PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION

WHY BOTHER? SPORT

There’s a glimmer of hope and a bit of a media spectacle about the prospect of Sepp Blatter losing his presidency at the 65th FIFA congress. High profile candidates including former Portugal star Luis Figo, Dutch FA chief Michael Van Pragg and Jordanian prince Ali have been globetrotting for support in a vain attempt to wrangle the presidency away from Blatter. The British FA for instance has declared their support for Prince Ali, who is the current VicePresident of FIFA, whilst Denmark has declared their support by nominating Figo. Things are looking positive, right?

Here’s the kicker. Earlier in April, Africa declared their support for Blatter. All of Africa. That’s 54 member associations out of the 209 who are able to vote in the election. The President of CAF (the African Football Confederation) Issa Hayatou declared that Africa was “comfortable” with Blatter as president of arguably the most important and influential sporting bodies in the world.

This means that, effectively, Blatter needs to “legally induce” (bribe) only 51 of the remaining member associations to continue his rule.

To put this into context, Hayatou declared support for a man whose listed achievements as president

RYAN GRAHAM include overseeing the introduction endemic corruption to FIFA, implicitly legitimizing slavery by handing the 2022 World Cup to Qatar, and losing numerous key sponsors from the organization due to mismanagement.

That’s without even mentioning his ghastly record of public sexism, racism and homophobia. Nor his atrocious belief that draws should be eliminated from the code. Quite an impressive, and certainly not exhaustive, list of achievements.

So how on earth would any member association declare their support for Blatter, let alone 54? The reason is a good explanation as to why it’s likely Blatter will win over 51 more associations. The people who are in positions of power in world football are under threat if Blatter loses. The idea of Figo or vocal opponent Van Pragg introducing any sort of notion of good practice threatens the cushy lifestyle that many of FIFA’s executives lead as a result of unchecked corruption which flourishes under Blatter. Hayatou, for instance, is somehow still chief of the CAF after 27 years despite being officially reprimanded by the International Olympic Committee for his rampant corruption. Jack Warner, the FIFA executive Australia didn’t

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bribe enough to secure his vote for the 2022 World Cup, was allowed to hold onto his Presidency of CONCACAF until 2011 despite many allegations of corruption and fraud. Even when he resigned, he did so with a “presumption of innocence” granted by FIFA. The common denominator is that these two have had the backing of Blatter for some time. Secret ideals between Blatter and anyone important and corruptible in world football inevitably surface every few years. These are the sorts of people have absolutely no incentive to vote for change where their personal benefits from the job are at stake – much like the inner circle of a dictator in an authoritarian government. Whilst Warner may no longer be involved, that wouldn’t stop some of Blatter’s other dear executive committee friends around the world from continuing to side with him.

The endgame is this: Blatter will win the election in May. With any luck, Figo, Van Pragg and Ali will be able to erode some of his legitimacy by taking away a proportion of his votes. But the reality is circular. So long as corruption remains endemic within FIFA, there won’t be the change at the top required to stop it.

WORONI No.6 Vol.67

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CAREERS & JOBS PRESENTED BY THE ANU CAREERS CENTRE.

APPLICATION PROCESS FOR A PERSON WITH A DISABILITY CAREERS / FEATURES Applying for work is stressful in itself, full of uncertainty about the process and requiring considerable preparation and courage. When the experience of a disability is added a stressful experience can be made even more daunting, with concern and uncertainty about how an employer may see you, even at the early stage of application. We know, however, that as increasing numbers of individuals with a disability have successfully entered the work force over the past twenty years employers are now much more knowledgeable and confident about employing individuals from diverse backgrounds and with a wide range of skill sets. Still, challenges remain. Our article this edition focuses on building confidence in applying for work for people living with disability and how to handle the issue of disclosure at different stages of the application. While this article tends to focus on the graduate application process, it also applies to casual and part-time work.

Upfront, we want to point out that we are not experts on disability.

Disability is no barrier to performing entirely equal work in comparison to and alongside other workers. According to Graduate Careers Australia, 90% of employees with a disability recorded productivity rates equal to, or actually higher than that of their peers, and 86% of employees with a disability had an equal or greater attendance record. Not all workplaces and jobs are the same, however, and it should be noted that an employer can make a decision regarding employment based on whether a disability renders an individual unable to perform the inherent requirements of that job.

Inherent requirements are: • The fundamental tasks that define a job and that must be carried out in order to get the job done • Not all requirements of a job • About achieving results rather than the means for achieving a result For example an inherent requirement may be “the ability to produce professional standard reports within a set time frame.”

The ability to “type at 50 words a minute” is not an inherent requirement. For advice on understanding inherent requirements see www.uws.edu.au/ndco/employment.

While the application process can be no different for anyone with a disability, the question many worry about is that of disclosure. Ultimately, it is your choice as to

ANU CAREERS CENTRE how, and even whether or not to disclosure your disability. If you don’t believe that your disability will affect your work you might choose not to disclose at all (your rights aren’t diminished as a consequence, but it may make the completion of a job’s inherent requirements harder). However, particularly with physical disabilities, nondisclosure may not be an option, but you still have choices about how you disclose your disability.

Accordingly, anyone with a disability should familiarise themselves with their rights at work. It is worth doing so before you even begin the application process.

Foremost, not only does the Disability Discrimination Act 1992 ensure that it is illegal for an employer to discriminate on the basis of disability, but it also helps you understand that employers are required to make reasonable adjustments to accommodate disability and allow you to perform the integral requirements of your job. For instance, in our example of report writing as an “inherent requirement”, a reasonable adjustment is providing speech recognition software to produce reports.

Check out Information Sheet 7 through the National Disability Coordination Officer Program for the many ways to consider workplace adjustments - www.uws.edu. au/ndco/employment.

One point of possible disclosure is in your cover letter and application but the choice of disclosure is a personal decision and it is best to be as informed as possible of your rights and employers responsibilities. Your choices may include “Do I need to disclose my disability?”, “when do I disclose my disability?”, “what are my rights?,” “do I have responsibilities when I disclose?”. The website “Choosing Your Path. Disclosure: It’s A Personal Decision’’ at http://pubsites. uws.edu.au/ndco/disclosure/index.htm is a great place to start. Remember, the point is whether you can do the job and making the case that you can.

Another key decision point is prior to interview when you may be asked if there are any special requirements for attending the interview. For example, if a person has a hearing impairment it is quite reasonable to ask for all questions to be provided in written form. The panel can then provide all interviewees questions in writing to maintain an even handed approach. If you require special access requirements then it

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is at it this point you can let them know.

However at the interview stage if you haven’t disclosed a physical disability you may, in essence, be disclosing it simply by attending the interview. Importantly, it is worth being aware of what an employer can and cannot ask you about your disability during an interview. Employers can ask how your disability may impact on the fundamental requirements of the job, as well as what adjustments to the position or the workplace might be necessary to help facilitate your execution of these requirements. Employers cannot, however, ask how you acquired your disability or any personal or specific details about your disability. If asked a question you are uncomfortable with its best to politely inquire as to why the interviewer wants to know. They may have made an innocent mistake or have little experience with persons with a disability. Highlighting your abilities over your disabilities is an important element of the interview stage, you know how to live with your disability and you know how you can complete the job at hand.

If you’re looking for more information or support regarding the graduate application process as a person with a disability there are a number of contacts at the ANU and beyond. On CareerHub you can access our – very – recently updated list of resources related to “Disability and Inclusion”. And on campus you can speak with ANU Careers (as part of the Student Experience and Careers Development Team careers@ anu.edu.au) as well as Access & Inclusion, who are always available to provide advice and support and can be contacted via access.inclusion@anu.edu.au or by phoning 6125 5036.

Additionally, here are just a few important links with a lot of useful information about work and disability: http://pubsites.uws.edu.au/ndco/ disclosure/index.htm www.uws.edu.au/ndco/employment h t t p : / / w w w. g r a d u a t e c a re e r s . c o m . a u / C a re e r P l a n n i n g a n d R e s o u rc e s / GraduateswithDisability/index.htm http://www.apsc.gov.au/publicationsand-media/current-publications/ recruitability-applicants-guide h t t p : / / w w w. a n d . o r g . a u / p a g e s / stepping-into...-programs.html http://www.jobaccess.gov.au/

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Week 10, Semester 1, 2015.

CAREER HUB YOUR ONE STOP FOR CASUAL JOBS, VOLUNTEER, GRADUATE AND INTERNSHIP OPPORTUNITIES Register with the ANU Careers Centre’s CareerHub today and have instant access to information on job vacancies and internship, graduate and volunteer opportunities. Casual positions are generally advertised for short periods and may be taken down once a position is filled (before the listed closing date). All jobs go up and expire on CareerHub in real time so it is a good idea to visit the site regularly. Check out recent listings below and visit CareerHub to register and get the full details including closing dates: https://careerhub.anu.edu.au

JOBS ON CAMPUS

CASUAL JOBS

Register with the Casual Employment Office The Casual Employment Office organises the timely placement of quality casual staff against University business unit needs. The Casual Employment Office seeks applicants with diverse skills and experience in Administration, Research and Laboratory Assistance, Finance, IT, Reception and Executive and Personal Assistance.

Read more: Casual Employment at http:// hr.anu.edu.au/employment-at-anu/jobopportunities/

CASUAL JOBS Subeditor, East Asia Forum (ANU) The East Asia Forum selects undergraduate and postgraduate students whose study or research area aligns strongly with the organisation’s activities and goals. We are currently looking for new sub-editors to join our team. Responsibilities include editing as well as administrative and other duties.

Read more: http://careerhub.anu.edu.au Closing date: 7 May 2015

Shogun Restaurant Waiter, waitresses and kitchen hand required at Shogun Japanese Restaurant in the city. No experience required. Training will be provided. Responsible Service of Alcohol (RSA) certificate must be obtained before the commencement of employment .

Read more: http://careerhub.anu.edu.au Closing date: 20 May 2015

Psychedeli Cafe (Garran)

We are seeking university students who have excelled in Maths and English in years 11 and 12. The successful applicants will assist and supervise students from year 1 to year 12. Successful applicants will need to have attained good marks in year 12 Maths (Methods and Specialist would be an advantage but not essential). Hours will be on a roster basis starting with 1 to 2 shifts per week, Tuesday to Thursday afternoons commencing at 4.00pm.

Deutsche Bank Internship Program Sydney & Melbourne-based or Singapore & Hong Kong-based internship.

Deutsche Bank’s Internship Program is recognised as one of the best in the business. And we’re searching for the best and brightest penultimate-year students (graduating in 2016) to join our team over summer in the above office locations.

Applications are invited to our program opportunities in the following divisions: Corporate Banking & Securities (CB&S): Corporate Finance; Corporate Banking & Securities (CB&S): Markets

Cafe staff, general daytime duties.

Read more: http://careerhub.anu.edu.au

Staff member required for busy city café. Needed for Wednesday and Friday mornings initially. Seeking neat, quick person with fluent English. References and experience preferred. Duties include serving, taking orders, washing dishes and other general duties.

Closing date: 23 July 2015

Read more: http://careerhub.anu.edu.au Closing date: 18 May 2015

Australian Academy of Maths and English Casual Maths & English Tutors wanted.

INTERNSHIPS & VACATION PLACEMENTS

Aurora Office Furniture (Queanbeayan) Graphic wanted.

Designer

/

Website

Builder

We have a newly built website that requires someone to upload all photos and information. We need a qualified person who is able to work on this for us. We will give you design brief to work with and the hours can be worked around your study schedule.

Read more: http://careerhub.anu.edu.au

Read more: http://careerhub.anu.edu.au

Closing date: 29 May 2015

Closing date: 31 May 2015

Gilbert & Tobin, Summer Clerkship (Sydney) Our 10 week Sydney Summer Clerk program consists of two rotations of five weeks duration, across any of the firm’s practice areas. As well as becoming immersed in your areas of interest, you will also have the opportunity to contribute to the Pro Bono group and Knowledge Management practice.

Applications are open to students in their penultimate year of their legal studies. We’re looking for ambitious, bright, friendly and enthusiastic individuals who will thrive in an environment of integrity and respect, innovation and legal excellence.

Read more: http://careerhub.anu.edu.au Applications open 17 June and close 19 July

Deloitte, Summer Vacation Program (CBR) This is your opportunity to gain practical and paid work experience. Spend three to eight weeks gaining exposure to client work, our award winning learning programs, and social events, with the prospect of securing a graduate position with the firm.

Read more: http://careerhub.anu.edu.au Applications close: 19 May 2015

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WINTER IS COMING MAEVE BANNISTER

LIFE & STYLE

Last year, I met a guy who, upon finding out where I was from said, “UGH, Canberra is the absolute worst.* It’s hot in summer and cold in winter”.

Instead of dwelling on his strange idea of what exactly the weather is supposed to be like in different seasons (because last time I checked, it’s actually quite acceptable that summer = hot and winter = cold), I’d like to focus on the last part of his statement, because he was quite right: Canberra is pretty cold in winter.

I guess different people have different definitions of “cold”, so if you’re new to the city, and think that anything lower than 20° is “cold”, I’m telling you right now that you’re in for a bit of a shock. But luckily for you – even though my name is not Kevin – I’m here to help. Having experienced a number of Canberra winters, I’ve got a few tips that you’ll hopefully find useful.

1.

Socks

The other day, I made the second most game-changing purchase of my life (second only to the cinnamon doughnuts from Breadtop). Enter: Target socks.

AKA: the best socks for winter you could possibly imagine, and also the

best $7 I’ve ever spent (it was a pack of two by the way, so really it was $3.50 per pair, making it $1.50 per sock. As an English major I’m pretty impressed by my mathematics skills/ not even sorry if those figures are completely incorrect). If you want to avoid your toes looking like the fingers of that girl who fell asleep outside during the Canadian winter, you need these socks.

Alright, alright, so it doesn’t get quite that cold in Canberra, but still, you should definitely run-not-walk to your nearest Target for a pair of these.

2.

Tissues

Everybody hates a sniffer (and yet? So. Many. Sniffers.), so you don’t want to be that person. I think it should be a worldwide policy that every man, woman and child have a packet of tissues on hand at all times, especially during the winter. So do yourself, and everyone around you, a favour and spend the $2 on a packet of Kleenex so you’re never unprepared for the inevitable winter nose-running.

3.

Beating the S.A.D.

Colds and flus are not the only thing that give winter a bad rap. The weather 24

getting colder and the days getting darker can often affect people’s moods more than they would think. Sometimes what helps is a change of perspective.

For example, my life motto is “I like to party and by party I mean take naps”, but during the summer, I always feel bad for not heading out “on the town”, as my mum likes to say. With winter approaching, I can now just use the excuse that it’s much too cold to go out, and can completely avoid shivering outside Uni Pub, silently cursing pastme for convincing present-me that of course she would absolutely 100% have a fantastic time.

PSA: If you need me at any point in the next six months, I’ll most likely be cocooned in a fluffy blanket drinking a rather large cup of tea. *By the way, I later found out he was from Harden (10 points to Gryffindor if you can tell me where that is without Googling it), so I really don’t think he was in any sort of position to be so judgemental.

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Week 10, Semester 1, 2015.

SCIENCE STUDENTS: THE DARK ENERGY OF UNIVERSITY LIFE? SCIENCE Most courses, particularly at the ANU, harbour a variety of people with diverse interests. I want to explain why scientists are among the most diverse and talented people at uni, though you probably don’t know it.

As an undergraduate (at a university that shall-not-benamed but looks like Hogwarts) I traversed most subjects on offer.

Unfortunately, the only articles I ever saw in the student paper from or about a science student related to a particular lab partner of mine.

They attended an infamous college and also attempted to create a deeply controversial society.

He was the kind of lad who saw a delicious double-entendre in performing a “single slit experiment”. It was my job to offer a view on the articles in question, balancing some agreement with their criticism against the fact my

JAMES BARRETT lab marks turned on the continued success of our relationship. Also, the lab we were in contained several devices offering quick and painful death.

More interesting are the stories of my two closer physics buddies.

One was on a visa from Iran, or Persia for those seeking to dissociate themselves from the Iranian regime. He waited two years to go to uni while his visa was processed. His friend was spending two years as a political prisoner. He was an exceptionally talented mathematician and physicist.

The second had migrant heritage and came from a regional town.

He lived in one of the few places offered for low SES students: a tiny hole shared with a middleaged dude. To my knowledge he deferred his degree and remained overseas as a ski-instructor.

I won’t bore you with my own story. But considering that in my home referring to a scientist could see you branded as “elitist” and the phrase “uni student” was a form of disparagement, I was chuffed to be paid to go to a prestigious university.

There are relatively few women in physics, but they make good lab partners and aren’t nerds.

Anecdotally, women are dominant in other sciences such as biology, chemistry and environmental science. One society I was part of contained an almost entirely female executive.

Now, how does this diversity of scientists translate into student media? So far 12 different people have written science articles this semester, including a professor and a PhD candidate. Five of those 12 were females, who contributed

a third of articles (not including my own as Science Sub-Editor).

Women were far more likely to express interest in writing. The ratio of articles submitted to articles published was equal among men and women, but men were more likely to follow through and with more articles. Otherwise, science contributors represented a decent cross-section of the domestic student population and touched on a diverse range of issues.

There’s room for improvement when it comes to showcasing scientists in student media or the media in general, as well as in election campaigns. But keep in mind the science students running a niche society, playing sport and working part-time despite their hectic timetable.

PUSHED TO THE LIMIT MÉDECINS SANS FRONTIÈRES SLAMS THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATION’S RESPONSE TO EBOLA SCIENCE Last month, Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) released Pushed to the Limit and Beyond, a critical analysis of the management of the Ebola epidemic in West Africa over the last year. The report highlights global inaction and the subsequent battles MSF have faced.

A notable inclusion is the reproach of the World Health Organisation for its reluctance to declare an emergency. Their inaction delayed a collaborative response, resulting in a prevailing atmosphere of mistrust and misinformation among the public that, in turn, exacerbated the spread of the virus.

Since March 2014, MSF have placed 2225 staff in the Ebolaaffected regions of Guinea, Mali, Sierra Leone and Liberia.

This has resulted in the construction of seven Ebola case

GEORGIA ECCLES management centres (CMCs) and approximately 8350 admissions.

CMCs were initially functioning with insufficient human resources, minimal support from local authorities and without a cure for the disease.

And, yet, another four months passed before the leading UN agency for global public health began referring to the Ebola outbreak as “serious”.

MSF General Director, Christopher Stokes, states that the WHO’s leadership and coordination should have been consistent from March 2014. Ultimately, the “WHO should have been fighting the virus, not MSF.” Their inaction resulted in MSF abandoning its traditional avoidance of political and security involvement to appeal to the UN Security Council.

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Finally, in September 2014, the United Nations established its first health emergency mission: UNMEER (United Nations Mission for Emergency Ebola Response).

The Ebola epidemic has been a wake up call to the clear flaws in our global public health emergency response. On the 19th of April 2015, Director-General of the WHO, Dr. Margaret Chan, admitted, “…when faced with an emergency of this scale, our current systems — national and international — simply have not coped”.

We cannot determine whether more efficient action by the WHO would have resulted in the containment of the virus within 12 months. However, we now know reforms within the WHO need to occur to ensure a more proactive

response to health emergencies.

It is their responsibility to take the lead and ensure that insufficient public health management does not contribute to extensive loss of life again.

As of the 22nd of April 2015, approximately 10,808 people have died from the Ebola epidemic.

Pushed to the Limit and Beyond is dedicated to the 14 MSF workers who lost their lives fighting the Ebola virus. The report can be accessed via the following link: http://www.msf. org/article/ebola-pushed-limitand-beyond.

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WORONI No.6 Vol.67

THE SEVEN UNWONDERS OF THE WORLD

THE DERVEZE CRATER ZENO

WORLD

In this regular segment, Woroni takes you on a tour of the greatest man-made clusterfucks ever to grace the surface of the Earth. This anti-guidebook will introduce you to the most spectacularly ruinous landmarks the world over, from the dying Aral Sea in Khazakstan to the smouldering ruins of the old nuclear proving grounds of the French Pacific.

Whether their sheer disastrousness makes you want to laugh or cry, these spectacular monuments to the supreme power of human folly are worth a visit.

Cats Macarons Iceberg lettuces And in essence anything that isn’t sand and oil and sun.

The Karakum Desert is not the most fascinating place in the world. Sprawled across a large part of Central Asia, the desert takes almost 350,000 square kilometres of otherwise-probably-verynice land and covers it with sand. In fact, “kara kum” means quite literarily “black sand.” I think, however, that this name does quite a disservice to the Karakum desert. Its sand comes in a variety of colours. Yellow, off-white, light brown, fawn, tan, sepia, burnt sienna – all are well represented. Likewise, there is also a very healthy supply of crude oil and natural gas buried beneath its surface.

Known colloquially as the “Door to Hell,” or on more formal, fancy-dresstype occasions as the Derweze Crater, this huge flaming pit is the legacy of more than a few poor decisions. As we know from earlier, one of the few things the Karakum has in abundance is natural gas. Unfortunately for the Karakum, the Soviets also knew this, and in the early Seventies they sent a variety of geological digging-andprobing types to find out exactly how much natural gas was hidden beneath its sandy surface. Initially, all proceeded according to plan. Bore-holes were established, gas mined and tested, and estimates and calculations made.

Less well represented Karakum are things like: Rain People Houses Dogs

within

the

For the adventurous Unwonder-seeker, however, there is one sight in particular that ought to be seen: tucked away in an isolated corner of the desert, unmarked by signs or roads, lies a huge man-made pit. This pit is currently on fire, and has been so for 45 years.

However, in 1971 one of the remote boreholes collapsed into a giant sinkhole, taking all of the boring equipment with it. Fortunately, no-one died, but it was 26

IMAGE: WIKIPEDIA

decided to abandon the drilling project.

As a final closing-up gesture, it was also decided to burn off the remaining gas, presumably on the basis that that would be a bit of a fun thing to do. It was estimated that this would take only a few weeks or so, and so one of the braver scientists was (probably) elected to run up to the side of the pit and chuck a match in. However, it turns out that the seam of gas was a lot more substantial than they had assumed; the fire failed to go out in the course of a couple of weeks. In fact, it is still burning right now.

Thus was created the latest in our series of the great Unwonders: a huge flaming pit in the middle of nowhere, Turkmenistan, which has for forty years spewed acrid sulphuric smoke and atmosphere-polluting methane into the sky. Think the Kuwait oil-fires of the Nineties, but stretch them over the course of four-and-a-half decades. This Unwonder somehow also happens to be surprisingly pretty at night. Definitely worth a visit for fans of air pollution and Soviet engineering. Also great for assuaging the guilt of those of us who drive fuel-guzzling four-wheel-drives; no matter how frivolous and excessive your environmentally toxic motor vehicle is, at least it’s not this bad. Don’t forget to bring marshmallows.

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Week 10, Semester 1, 2015.

A WEDDING

LIKE NO OTHER LIFE & STYLE

Everyone loves a wedding. All the cheer of being with family. All the anticipation leading up to the big day. All the inconspicuous beverages consumed at the reception. Is there anything not to love? Personally, I’m a wedding fanatic.

I love weddings. I legitimately make an effort to attend as many weddings as possible because they’re just so much fun – the ones I’m invited to, that is.

But, you know what makes a wedding ten times better? When it’s a Bollywood wedding!

My brother is heading off to India this weekend to attend a cousin’s wedding, and as my mother explained to him the myriad of facets of one of the most pompous and splendorous celebrations in the world, I had a realisation that maybe it was worth breaking it down for you too.

The Tradition As much as the Bollywood wedding is a show of glamour and exuberance, they are founded in deeply rooted, spiritual practices. Regardless of the religious tradition the wedding follows, every occasion is underlined by a subtle respect for the rich tradition of the marriage ceremony. Our upcoming family wedding will be performed according to Hindu rituals and will therefore entail many hours of procedures being chanted in Sanskrit: a language unbeknownst to every attendee of the wedding, however, the practices themselves transcend language. It becomes universally clear, even with no knowledge of the context, that the happenings of the ceremony are forging a bond between two souls and two families. A bond that will last

PAROKSH PRASAD for eternity.

The Clothes The Indian subcontinent boasts of some of the most intricate and elaborate, not to mention colourful, couture in the world. From silks to cotton, the textile industry is massive, owing to immense consumption by wedding-revellers. As far as the bride goes, she wears at least 3-5 different outfits on her wedding day itself (disregarding the days preceding and following the main ceremony). For some regions, the traditional colour of the bride’s costume is a deep maroon colour, whereas for others, it is offwhite, ivory with maroon borders.

The maroon garments take the form of a skirt, blouse, and veil while the ivory option is generally a silk sari paired with a blouse. Each of these is custom tailored and set with matching jewellery, including ornaments for the hair, wrists, ears, nose, neck, waist, ankles and toes. The groom’s clothing is slightly less flamboyant. Men generally wear a kurta-pyjama – a long tunic with pants – or a dhoti – 5 yards of fabric tied through the legs to resemble pants. Turbans are common in some traditions with pins and chains added as embellishments.

The Food If you thought that you might come across the average butter chicken and naan at a Bollywood wedding, well you’re in for a shock. What kind of shock, I hear you ask? Wedding lunches or dinner require at least 20-30 different items: from various salads to sweets.

Nowadays, meals are gastronomical fantasies hosted in large gardens with 27

food stations located strategically around the area, each one serving a different cuisine. The stalls serve variations of chaat (street food), Chinese delicacies, exotic fruits, and sweets rich enough to give you instant cavities. One thing to look out for is a little treasure known as paan. These gems are little betel leaf parcels which contain areca nut and sometimes tobacco: indulging in which results in a psychoactive reaction. Paired with a couple of stiff whiskies, these are perfect for tearing it up on the dance floor.

The Entertainment If you’ve seen A Cinderella Story or Bride and Prejudice, you probably already have a preconceived idea about what a Bollywood wedding dance floor resembles. Take whatever you have in mind right now, fold it neatly, and dispose of it immediately. If there is one thing a Bollywood wedding nails more so than other traditions, it’s the constant singing and dancing. Some families host a sangeet night: a night purely for such frivolities where family members compete against one another in ultimate Bollywood dance-offs. Whether it be the henna night (the equivalent of a hen’s night where the bride applies henna art to her palms), the baraat (the buck’s night where the groom makes his way from his residence to the marriage venue), or the reception, if your feet are not hurting and your throat not hoarse by the end of the night, then you’ve failed. Forget about the pain for a moment: take another shot, have another bite of paan and your aches will become a distant memory!

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JOURNALISM FOR WOMEN: A PRACTICAL GUIDE

By E.A. Bennett (Chifley, PN4784.W7.B5)

SATIRE

The fourth entry in “Weird Shit from the Archives” - an irregular column reviewing the hidden treasures of the ANU library system, by Titus Livius Patavinus It’s a situation that I’m sure has confronted many of us. You have your heart set on being a journalist. You always have. You’ve always just felt it, deep down in your bones. What’s more, you’ve put in the effort. You carry a little spiral-bound notepad and a pencil everywhere with you. You have vintage 7.30 Report posters up in your bedroom. You’ve refined your cycling technique to the extent that you can now successfully keep pace with any ambulance, steering with one hand and filming with the other. You called your pet cat Pulitzer. You tsk loudly when you observe a newspaper that has managed fewer than three puns in its front-page headline. You maintain that your spirit animal is Bob Woodward.

You even use Twitter. There’s only one problem: you’re a woman.

“Why me?” I hear you cry mournfully (and, if truth be told, mildly hysterically), “How am I supposed to ever be a

TITUS LIVIUS PATAVINUS

journalist now?” Fear not! Despite your obvious failings, you can still be. Just let E.A. Bennet tell you how.

First of all, it is necessary to turn to the chapter called “Imperfections of the Existing Female Journalist.” There we learn that “there are, not two sexes, but two species – journalists and womenjournalists – and that the one is about as far removed organically from the other as a dog from a cat”. This, as E.A. Bennett elucidates masterfully, is because women are always late, and this is because they always assume that the world of business and serious journalism is the same as the domestic world. “Is it a matter of surprise that the young woman who is accustomed gaily to remark, ‘Only five minutes late this morning, Father,’ or ‘I quite forgot to order the coals, dear,’ confident that a frown or a hard word will end the affair, should carry into business the laxities long permitted her in the home?” Sage words indeed.

So then, how is a woman ever going to be able to not confuse journalism with the kitchen? Luckily, Bennett gives us some advice here too.

Images: Wikipedia

Number one: “There are certain departments of journalism where women have always had, and probably will always have, to themselves: I mean the departments comprising fashion, cookery and domestic economy, furniture, the toilet, and weddings and society news.” So then, stick to what is familiar, and make sure to get in some reports on the state of the nations toilets.

Number two, according to Bennet, is that women don’t read enough journalism written by men. This one should be obvious; how are you supposed to know what real journalism looks like if you don’t read things written by people with penises? Thirdly and finally, according to the Practical Guide, women must learn to spell.

In conclusion, Journalism for Women: A Practical Guide by E.A. Bennett is a rollicking romp through the entrenched sexism of the media. You can find it on the top floor of Chifley, or in all good kitchens everywhere. I would give it some stars out of five, but, silly me, I have to run away, I’ve just realised I’ve left a tea-cake in the oven!