Woroni Edition 8 by Woroni

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE VOL. 67

ISSUE #8i

PAGE 5. ANU’S Virtual College Griffin Hall - Celebrates its 5th Birthday - Anna Kaufmann PAGE 6. Westpac Announces an Annual $120,000 Scholarship - Anna Kaufmann PAGE 10 - 11. Two Perspectives Shared on the Miss Saigon Controversy - Jeremy Castillo & Jessica Masters

PAGE 13. Canberra’s Patisserie’s Freakshakes Taking Over the Internet - Ryan De Souza PAGE 15. How to Re-live the Glorious Nineties in the Australian Capital Territory - Sylvia Gunn PAGE 22. The Growing Popularilty of Basketball within Australia - Nick Benecke

WORONI SEMESTER 2 - WEEK 1, 2015 - WORONI.COM.AU - FACEBOOK, TWITTER & THE APP STORES

WORONI No.8 Vol.67

CONTENTS 1. Cover

No. 6 - Joanne Leong

3. Welcome to the Jungle - Jacob Ingram

4. Bush Week: The 90’s Had It All - Ria Pflaum 4. Queer Conventions Conference Comes to ANU - Fred Hanlin 5. Bob Carr: Palestine and Middle East Peace - Miguel Galsim

5. Griﬃn Turns 5 - Anna Kaufmann 6. Annual $120,000 Westpac Scholarship Announced - Anna Kaufmann 6. No Small Change: A Discussion of Indigenous Aﬀairs - Ria Pflaum

8. Portrait of ANU Law Professor Shortlisted for Archibald Prize - Anna Kaufmann

8. Meritocratic Elitism - Nishant Pathy

9. Nintendo President and CEO Rides the Rainbow Road to Heaven - Jessica Masters

9. Marina Abramovic: In Residence - Louise Keast

10 - 11. Miss Saigon - Jeremy Castillo and Jessica Masters 12. Alpine @ANU Bar - Louise Keast 12. Amy: Film Review - Frank Shanahan

12. PSA: Watch The Americans - Pramilaa Shivakkumar

13. Canberra: The Milkshake Capital? - Ryan De Souza 14. Images of the 90’s - Lauren Dmyke

15. How to Re-live the 90’s in Canberra - Sylvia Gunn

16. Aviary: Canberra’s First Rooftop Bar - Kalvin Rajmano

16. What It’s Really Like to Go on Exchange - Bridget San Miguel

17. The How-To Guide to Politics - Mark Fabian 17. What’s in a Degree? - Jack Schwenke 18. Graduate Purgatory - Louise Finch-Penninger 18. Free the Laser! - James Ansell 20. The Heat is On for Lizard Lady - Lydia Searle 21. Bacteria Will Be No More - Celine Olivia and Suyan Yee 22. AFL State of Origin? No Thanks - Charlie Austin 22. The Growth of Australian Basketball - Nick Benecke 24. Vegan Eats Animal Product - Olivia Sparrow 24. CIA Investigates ANU/ISIS Link - Andrew Cavenagh

A C K N O W L E D G M E N T S ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF COUNTRY

Woroni is published on the land of the Ngunnawal people. We respect elders past and present and recognise that the sovereignty was never ceded. Advertising inquiries and submissions can made at: advertising@woroni.com.au Phone: (02) 6125 9574 Shop 15, Lena Karmel Building 26 Barry Drive, Acton 2601

BOARD OF EDITORS Editor-in-Chief - Jacob Ingram Deputy Editor-in-Chief - Giordi Borzuola Managing Editor - Mitchell Scott Creative Director - Rashna Farrukh Contributions Editor - Benedicte Rutherford Multimedia Editor - Maddalena Easterbrook News Editor - Waheed Jayhoon Radio Editor - Isaac Dugdale

S TA F F Simone Proctor - Administrative Assistant Siobhonn Shannon - Proofreader Woroni is printed by Capital Fine Print.

SUB-EDITORIAL TEAM

Science - Richa Harnal Comments - Jessy Wu Features - Vincent Chiang Satire & World - Ivana Somjver Arts & Reviews - Louise Keast Arts & Reviews - Jessica Masters Life & Style - Paroksh Prasad Sports - Zach Mackey International - Virginia Harding Radio - Kate Lawrence Radio - Caitlin Magee Radio - Finn Pedersen Radio - Sam Skinner Design - Joanne Leong IT - Manab Chetia Photography - Nic Bills Videography - Julia Faragher News Correspondent - Anna Kaufmann News Correspondent - Miguel Galsim News Correspondent - Ria Pflaum

Week 1, Semester 2, 2015.

Meet the Woroni Board of Editors for Semester 2, 2015 (left to right) : Rashna Farrukh, Mitchell Scott, Waheed Jayhoon, Benedicte Rutherford, Jacob Ingram, Giordi Borzuola, Maddalena Easterbrook, Isaac Dugdale

WELCOME TO THE

JUNGLE

JACOB INGRAM New and returning students, Welcome (back) to ANU. A lot has changed since our last opening edition. We have a new incoming Vice-Chancellor (and therefore are in the Schmidst of a leadership change), new degrees - some online - and new faces in student leadership. Some things have stayed the same, however. There is still no Brodburger, CASS is still misinforming students on what’s happening with their messy Arts degrees at every opportunity and Christopher Pyne is still trying to make you pay twice as much for your degree so you can land that amazing unpaid internship at 23 and hopefully start a full-time job by the time you’re 30. In campus life, this semester will be another spectacle to behold. There will be ANUSA elections, where one campus big-name will face off against another campus big-name and potentially a campus no-name for the ultimate prize in student political life: having an excuse to postpone your degree for a year. We’ll see vitriolic Stalkerspace posts, where some will fire shots and others will participate in what has become Facebook’s newest reincarnation of Farmville: farming “likes” on Stalkerspace. There’ll be many great parties - often hosted

by us - and many late nights wondering why you didn’t do your assignment a week earlier like you promised yourself you would do since day one of university. This semester, we hope that we’ll be your shining light of campus information and entertainment in an otherwise banter-less and barren student governance landscape. Woroni has a proud history as Australia’s first and only financially and editorially independent student newspaper. Founded In 1950, we turned 65 this year and as you’ll come to expect from us, we celebrated with a great party riddled with alcohol and student politicians looking for photo ops. I’m not one to judge on either of those fronts, however. For some, Woroni is a crucial part of the student experience and an organisation which truly serves the ANU student body. For others, Woroni presents opinions that they rarely agree with or are not interested in. There are two types of comments you hear from people about Woroni. Broadly, they come under these categories: A) “Woroni is great and I read it every fortnight. I’ve downloaded the app and a photo of the Board of Editors as Game of Thrones characters are set as my laptop wallpaper.”

B) “Give me back my SSAF money. I don’t care what happened with Megan Lane this week.” The truth is, though, that Woroni is what the student body makes of it. If you want to see more campus news in Woroni, we want you to tell us and we want you to be involved in writing it. If you see an article you like, let us know. If you see one that you don’t like, write a response. Woroni serves as a beacon of free speech and a means of discussing important issues facing students and our society. This means that you won’t agree with everything that is published all the time. The best thing you can do in that situation is contribute. We have big plans for Woroni this semester. Regular columns, better events, in-depth election coverage, website redesign, and newspaper revitalisation are all programs that we’re already working on. There has never been a better time to get involved. Welcome to the jungle that is ANU and Bush Week. Jacob Ingram Editor-in-Chief

WORONI No.8 Vol.67

CAMPUS NEWS BUSH WEEK: THE 90’S HAD IT ALL CAMPUS NEWS

RIA PFLAUM

Bush Week, starting on Monday the 20th of July, is sure to break the blanket of relative silence that has descended on campus across the holidays, with events guaranteed to bring out the inner 90’s spirit in all of us.

showcasing the best films of the decade. This is a welcome reminder of pop culture references for those aiming to win big at the following night’s Trivia Newton-John event, being held at ANU Bar.

ANUSA Social Officer, Jack Gaudie, said that the 90’s theme is “something everyone can get around.”

Wednesday sees the staple of every good O- and Bush Week, Market Day, where clubs and societies battle for new recruits. After you’ve signed up to every club imaginable, throw on your best double denim, and Crash a Country Pub with hundreds of your new friends. When asked why the 90’s theme was chosen, Jack Gaudie joked that “I originally wanted to do ‘George W Bush Week’, to celebrate gun ownership and Mission Accomplished - but I was out voted by the team.

“We’re making Bush Week bigger and better than ever this year - it’s going to be packed with the old classics like Market Day and Crash A Country Pub along with some fantastic new events in the evenings, like TriviaNewton-John and Art Attack!” Monday brings a return to the 90’s cinematic classics of our childhood, with a visit to Palace Electric Cinemas

QUEER

COMES

“We also thought of ‘The Mighty Boosh Week’, but unfortunately our graphic design was already finished and I’m not sure how safe a Crack Fox party would be...” For those who have perfected their Macaulay Culkin impression over the years, Thursday night provides free coffee and board games, at Home Alone 2: Before 10. On Friday night, “Party Like It’s 1999” will serve as the marquee event of the week. It is sure to send us into the semester with a bang, reminding us both of the good, the bad, and the simply hilarious memories of the 90’s – a worthy throwback to the time when MTV still played music.

CONVENTIONS

CAMPUS NEWS

This year, the ANU hosted the annual Queer Collaborations Conference from the 7th to the 12th of July - an almost twenty-five-year old gathering with delegates from the various Queer Departments of universities all across Australia, with some delegates visiting from New Zealand universities. Approximately 200 delegates came to Canberra to workshop and learn in an effort to make their Queer Departments more inclusive and accommodating, and to address issues and marginalisation faced by Queer students in their respective universities. There was also more general discussion on topics ranging from education of safe sex, to the political factors surrounding Queer issues, and also, embracing and expanding upon the concept of Queerness within the community. The theme of this year’s Queer Collaborations was “Queer at Heart”, and was reflected in the inclusion of workshops concerned with personal conceptions of Queer identity. Kat Reed, Officer of the Queer* Department, told Woroni that she believed the event was well organised and beneficial for members of the Department, especially in regards to the friendly and thoughtful atmosphere. “We’ve all learnt more about ourselves and our

FRED HANLIN

identities, including myself,” she said. “I was truly impressed with the organizing committee as they did an excellent job of keeping everyone safe. I’m so glad to have attended and to have been able to send some lovely Queer* Department members along to such an eye opening event.” The conference floor for the Queer Collaborations was held at the Manning Clarke Centre. One of the organised events during this conference was a political call to action outside of Parliament House on the morning of Sunday 12th July. Delegates demonstrated to raise attention for the homeless and asylum seeking that identified as Queer, and for their needs to be addressed and given housing. Outside of these more structured meetings were workshops, organised independently of the Organising Committee. These ranged from informative presentations such as: “Introduction to Bondage” and “Mentors in Violence Protection”; panel discussions on polyamory; open debate, and recreational workshops such as Crochet 101 and bodypositive workout sessions. The conference is also often social in nature, with events having run throughout the week. A Meet & Greet event was held on the first day,

Gaudie assured that week was going to end on a high note. “I’m super keen for Party Like It’s 1999 and the Eid Al Fitr (end of Ramadan) celebration on the Sunday after Bush Week. Its’ organisers are super passionate and it’s a cultural event that hasn’t been celebrated on a big scale at ANU before!” All in all, whist classes are still on, Bush Week is for welcoming the new semester with your arms wide open, and your glow sticks at the ready. As Gaudie says, “Let’s be honest - we’re not going to class and there’s mates to catch up with. That’s what Bush Week is about, having a good time before you have too many readings.”

CONFERENCE

ANU

which was very reminiscent of the Gender-Free Speed Dating conducted by the ANU Queer Collective at the start of each semester. Board games, a movie night, and a conclusory party for the delegates at the Hellenic Club in the City, were other events that were organised. To coincide with the Queer Collaborations Conference, an independently edited, queerthemed publication, named “Querelle”, is often published annually. This year, it was composed by Deakin University in Victoria, and was launched both digitally and with physical copies on the night of Thursday the 9th July at the Uni Pub. Queer Collaborations organiser Stuart Ferrie was pleased with the final outcome. “We’re really happy with how the conference went this year, but most of the credit goes to the wonderful delegates,” he said. The forthcoming annual conference for Queer Collaborations is already in development, as Queer collectives across Australia and New Zealand celebrate its’ twenty fifth year. Curtin University, in Perth, has won the bid to host the conference in 2016, while Querelle is set to be produced by the Queer Collective of the University of Queensland.

BOB CARR: MIDDLE

Mr. Carr spoke of the obstructions to Palestinian statehood and the dynamic this issue creates within Australian politics. Speaking on the importance of the Palestine issue in Australia, Carr told Woroni that “Australia has voted in the UN, and a vocal call for Palestine needs to be made. We have not voted for a Palestinian state and this is shameful.” Carr began by relating the grassroots experiences of Palestinians to the audience, choosing to dedicate his statements to the “grace of the Palestinians and their suffering.” In particular, he spoke of abuses committed against children and peaceful activists – such as the harassment of students as they made their way to school – that were beginning to

PALESTINE EAST

transform into a permanent situation. As for the causes, Carr located them in Israel, whose policy is run by “ethno-religious chauvinists”, governing the “last colonial situation in the world.” He followed by clarifying the dynamics of the Palestine issue in domestic Australian politics, as well as the influence of pro-Israeli lobby groups. With a majoritarian call by Australians for the creation of Palestinian state being ignored by policymakers, as claimed by Carr, he was accordingly disappointed by the “objectionable control over Australian policy” the pro-Israel lobby exerted. At the conclusion of his lecture, Carr answered several challenging questions posed by the audience; the topics ranged from the attitudes of Israeli citizens and Jewish communities worldwide, to alternatives to the traditional two-state solution to the conflict. The comprehensive and intellectual discussion produced critiques and elaborations of critical areas in Carr’s talk.

Griffin Hall, ANU’s virtual hall for off-campus students, will this week be celebrating in a very real way as it marks five years since the hall was first opened in 2010. A birthday themed Bush Week will see the Hall’s members come together for various celebrations, including a movie night, a picnic on Chifley Meadows and the annual Mr. Griffin event. President of Griffin Hall, Paige Enright, also said that they were looking at celebrating Griffin’s 5th birthday at their valedictory event later in the year. Griffin Hall was first established in 2010 as ANU’s first non-residential hall by active ANU students who saw the growing need for off campus students to feel more supported and involved in the campus lifestyle. It began as a group of only 40 members with a small

Australia, was in attendance and said that he was encouraged by the audience’s intellectual nature and deep understanding of the issue. “We appreciate the comments of Bob Carr who is a close friend of Palestine and the twostate solution…and we appreciate his help and words,” he said. The event was moderated by Dr. Kevin Bray, chair of AJPP. When asked about the rationale behind the talk, Dr. Bray told Woroni that they knew of Carr’s favourable positions towards Palestinian statehood, and “were aware of the Australian Labor Party’s National Conference coming up late in July, at which the Palestinian question was expected to be considered, so [AJPP] wanted [their] event to precede the National Conference.” He said that ANU was a “suitable, centrally located venue, where public events on topical, but controversial subjects are welcomed and supported,” especially by academics and concerned students. Miguel Galsim is a member of AJPP and SJP, and was involved in the organisation of this event.

His Excellency Izzat Abdulhadi, The Head of the General Delegation of Palestine to

GRIFFIN CAMPUS NEWS

AND PEACE

MIGUEL GALSIM

CAMPUS NEWS On the evening of July 14, former Minister of Foreign Affairs, the Hon. Bob Carr lectured at the ANU on the topic of “Palestine and Middle East Peace”. The event, which was jointly held by Australians for Justice and Peace in Palestine (AJPP), Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP), and co-sponsored by the ANU Centre for Arabic and Islamic Studies (CAIS), was almost filled to capacity in MCCT1 by students, academics, diplomats, and members of the public.

Week 1, Semester 2, 2015.

TURNS

ANNA KAUFMANN committee and pastoral care team, but has since grown to an establishment of over 320 members. This is coordinated in large part by a leadership team of 26 people, including recent introductions of gender and gender sexuality officers. Griffin has not only grown in terms of its members, but also now boasts a wide variety of events offered to its members along with increased involvement in campus sports and arts. Enright says that the Hall plays the incredibly important role of providing ANU students who live off campus with the opportunity to meet people, common room amenities and pastoral care. “Griffin is important to ANU students because it allows students to be involved with the Interhall community and provides leadership

positions which are important for student development” said Enright. However, while the Hall has grown extensively in the past five years, there are still ambitious plans for the next half-decade. Enright says that they hope to have an operational plan in place to help with the sustainability of Griffin Hall. She also hopes that by its 10th birthday, Griffin Hall is larger still, providing more leadership training opportunities for students and more community involvement with organisations the ANU already works with. First on the wish list, however, is a more versatile space – one that is capable of accommodating the growth that Griffin Hall has experienced in the past five years, and the further growth that is to come in the years ahead.

WORONI No.8 Vol.67

ANNUAL

POSTGRADUATE

WESTPAC

SCHOLARSHIP

ANNOUNCED

ANNA KAUFMANN

NEWS A new scholarship established by the Westpac Bicentennial Foundation valued at up to $120,000 is hoping to develop postgraduate students into the leaders of the future. The Westpac Future Leaders Scholarship will be open to both research and coursework postgraduate students at ANU and eight other Australian universities. The scholarship will be awarded annually, and scholars “chosen for their potential to make a difference to Australia’s future in one of three focus areas: technology and innovation, strengthening Australia-Asia ties, and enabling positive social change” Westpac states. The scholarship is also one of several being targeted directly at postgraduate students in an attempt to make postgraduate studies more accessible.

NO OF

$120,000

SMALL

NEWS With several landmark events hosting some of Australia’s most distinguished authors throughout the calendar year, including former Queensland Premier Anna Bligh, the ANU and the Canberra Times once again collaborated for a “Meet the Author” event on the 16th of July. Held at the ANU, inside the Manning Clarke Centre, author, lawyer, and Indigenous spokesman Frank Brennan spoke candidly about his new book No Small Change: The Road to Recognition for Indigenous Australia. Constitutional recognition for Aboriginal Australians is certainly not a new issue, but it is an immensely complex one. Starting the event with an acknowledgement of country, Frank’s talk outlined why he felt No Small Change was a book that needed to be written. Not only was it ‘something to do’ when he first arrived in Canberra 7 years ago, but also an attempt to “get an insight into what some of the better white fellas had done,” and see how he as a non-Indigenous man could help in his turn.

Very few scholarships currently exist for students pursuing postgraduate coursework compared to those available for undergraduates. There is also indication that postgraduate studies are increasingly only being pursued by those in metropolitan areas and from medium to high socio-economic backgrounds, the journal of Higher Education Policy and Management citing that low socio-economic students make up only 10.5% of the postgraduate student population. However the Westpac Future Leaders Scholarship seeks to go beyond just financial support, also including a nine month leadership development program, aimed at building Scholars’ leadership capabilities beyond the classroom and creating career pathways to help them succeed in their fields. The scholarship also offers the choice of also including a tailored

CHANGE: A INDIGENOUS

international experience of up to six months. “With its leadership development program, it’s an incredible opportunity for good leaders to gain experience and training to further their abilities. This experience is something that would have been invaluable when I was doing my PhD” stated Scholarship Ambassador Dr Angie Kings-Lynne. But the scholarship will undoubtedly be competitive, Westpac making it clear that they are seeking Australia’s best and brightest. To ﬁnd out more and to apply head to http:// bicentennial.westpacgroup.com.au/scholarships/ future-leaders/

DISCUSSION AFFAIRS

RIA PFLAUM Brennan addressed the commitment of Barrie Dexter, William Stanner and Herbert Coombs – members of the Commonwealth Council of Aboriginal Affairs (CCAA) - to ending discrimination against Indigenous Australians. CCAA, which was formed in 1967, in part by then Prime Minister Harold Holt, was a response to a discriminatory Australian constitutional amendment. These men, Brennan noted, appreciated the dignity, spirituality and religious beliefs of Aboriginal Australians, in particular those in the Northern Territory, and made a huge impact in the lasting changes to policy and attitudes in both the government and the Australian people. “It was a modest referendum, carried overwhelmingly by the Australian people, but in the prospect of instituting political change, the Council was a catalyst,” Brennan said. This raised the issue of the proposed 2017 referendum, one that would signify Indigenous

recognition in the Constitution. Anne Martin, director of the Tjabal Indigenous Higher Education Centre at the ANU*, stated that the proposed referendum would be highly significant for Aboriginal Australians. “Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders had no say in the creation of the Constitution at the time it was being drafted. This would allow people of this nation to come together in a positive manner and…to build a better and more inclusive nation,” she said. Brennan admitted that the referendum lies at the heart of a very difficult debate. Ever since the last referendum 40 years ago, the notion of limits on land rights and determination have been central, he said. His talk being rooted in legal history, he further discussed issues surrounding the proposed referendum, with “there being no point going ahead” unless Aboriginal leaders endorsed the changes.

Yet, his personal opinion that the referendum is a great step forward for Australia shone through. Brennan described Aboriginal Australians, especially young Aboriginal Australians, as “caught between Dreaming and the Market… they deserve to have a foothold in each.” In this, he agreed with the comments made by Anne Martin to Woroni when asked whether Australia was ready for this referendum: “Is Australia ready and prepared? I’d say they probably are. I have great faith in my fellow citizens and confidence in young people across the nation who want to see a better Australia.” *Anne Martin’s opinions are her own and are not representative of the Tjabal Indigenous Higher Education Learning Centre.

Week 1, Semester 2, 2015.

WORONI No.8 Vol.67

PORTRAIT OF ANU LAW PROFESSOR SHORTLISTED FOR ARCHIBALD PRIZE ANNA KAUFMANN

CAMPUS NEWS Portrait of ANU Law Professor, Tim Bonyhady, has been selected as one of the 47 finalists for the 2015 Archibald Prize. The portrait, by first time Archibald entrant Andrew Sayers, has been selected from over 800 entries that were submitted to the Archibald Prize this year and is one that Sayers says has been many years in the making. “I had long wanted to paint a portrait of my friend of 30

years,” says Sayers, “the portrait is a tribute to Tim’s wide-ranging intellectual curiosity as well as an attempt to capture his unique physical presence.” Professor Bonyhady is one of Australia’sforemostenvironmental lawyers and cultural historians, and director of the ANU’s Centre for Environmental Law. He has also written numerous books on culture and Australian art. Professor Bonyhady also has a strong family connection to the art

world, his mother’s family having been major patrons of the arts in fin-de-siecle in Vienna before coming to Australia, and Gustav Klimt having done a portrait of Bonyhady’s great-grandmother, Hermine Gallia.

Sayers was director of the National Museum of Australia from 2010 to 2013 and before that the inaugural director of the National Portrait Gallery from 1998 to 2010. In 2014 he was a finalist in the Doug Moran National Portrait Prize.

Sayer’s portrait of Bonyhady resonates a lot with the Klimt piece, the grey background with subtle hints of purple and green he says is a direct allusion to the Klimt.

The ﬁnalists of the Archibald Prize will be on a touring exhibition from 2 October 2015 to 24 July 2016 around New South Wales.

MERITOCRATIC ELITISM COMMENT It’s been curious to watch the reactions to Brian Schmidt’s appointment as Vice Chancellor (VC). Some reactions have been positive – see the exclamations of joy on the ANUSA page – just as some have been humorously bizarre (“Schmidt Happens” puns, I’m looking at you here). But the most surprising reactions have been those that come close to accusing Schmidt of elitism, and expressing concern for the ANU’s prospects as a fair institution under his guidance. It’s worth noting the original purpose of the ANU: it was established to be the foremost national educational institution. It was meant to be the best; taking in the best students, having them be educated by the best academics and sending them out to be the best leaders in the nation. In its strategic objectives, however, it is not mentioned that the ANU is meant to be “big”. It is not mentioned that the ANU is meant to cater to a specific demographic of students. It is not mentioned that the ANU is meant to provide a breadth of programs from the incredibly academic to the vocationally oriented. Of course, this idea of educating “the best” seems both wishful thinking and more than mildly elitist. In fact, it seems to run contrary to the tall-poppy culture that exists in Australia – what the hell does the ANU think it is, trying to exceed the pack? Other universities do fine with big student populations and vocational programs, right? Why does the ANU have to be

NISHANT PATHY any different? But this ignores the reason that the elitist mentality of the ANU was engendered. Even if it runs contrary to our national egalitarianism, Australia needs an elite university. As a country, Australia doesn’t just need people to “do the job” – it needs people to reinvent it. Australia needs innovative and genuinely insightful academics, politicians, scientists, and workers to understand what needs to be done to make our country better. As clichéd and awful as it sounds, Australia needs “thought leaders” in more than just the sense of a poorly executed marketing campaign. Hence why the ANU is allowed to be elite. It is allowed to be elite because it nominally works as a meritocracy: the best are allowed to come and receive an elite education, and in turn they go out and “fix the country”. That was its original mandate. The ANU earns its right to be elitist through producing leaders who give back to the nation. That’s what makes it different to other institutions, and justifies its title as the national university. So how does this relate to the Schmidt hitting the fan over the new VC appointment? Many of the policies advocated by the incoming VC could be termed “elitist” – things like interviewing prospective students, reducing student numbers and working towards truly research-led learning, as opposed to the vocational. But in the case of the ANU, that’s

exactly what we need. They may well be elitist, but in the positive sense of the word – they generate the sort of elite institution and students that Australia needs to succeed. Concerns over equity are very valid. It is true that regional New South Wales needs a good quality university which doesn’t solely concern itself with lofty academia and thoughtful leadership. It is true that Canberrans need a high quality institution where they can be educated. It is true that few other universities have the accessibility and ubiquity of the ANU college experience. None of these are arguments why ANU specifically should concern itself with equity over elitism. There are tens of other universities that could assuage any and all of these equity concerns – more importantly, these tens of universities do not have the same mandate of providing for the nation as a whole. The ANU is tasked with a national mandate: to be the best university so that we can be the best country. Ultimately, this goal overrides its provision of mid-high range education – it overrides its need to be concerned with the equity concerns of any one group. Brian Schmidt is not an elitist in the sense that he sits in his office drinking high tea and talking about how the poor don’t drive cars – he’s solely an elitist in the sense that he wants both the ANU and Australia to be meritocratically elite. And that’s a goal worth working towards.

Week 1, Semester 2, 2015.

NINTENDO PRESIDENT AND CEO

RIDES THE RAINBOW ROAD TO HEAVEN ARTS & REVIEWS “On my business card, I am a corporate president. In my mind, I am a game developer. But in my heart, I am a gamer.” Satoru Iwata at GDC 2005 My family owned one of the very old 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment Systems released in Australia in 1987. We had six games that I would repetitively play over and over; the only recognisable one today is Tetris, which somehow I never mastered as the blocks fell too fast for my 6 year-old hands. The console has disappeared now - it was either thrown out by my parents or stolen by rabid gamer fans. Nintendo released the NES after the “video game crash” of the 80s when many believed gaming was a passing fad. Instead, the first home console unit became a raging success and franchises soon appeared that still exist today, such as Super Mario Bros, The Legend of Zelda and Final Fantasy. Nintendo has gone from strength to strength (excluding a dip in sales for the much-maligned Gamecube) and so it is with great sadness that we announce the passing of Satoru Iwata, the president and CEO of Nintendo, friend of Pokémon, who died from bile duct cancer on Saturday 11th July 2015 at the age of 55.

JESSICA MASTERS The Yamauchi family founded Nintendo as a playing-card company in 1889 and Iwata was the first president unrelated to the family. He was one of the gaming industry’s only corporate presidents with substantial hands-on experience and a history in software and game creation. Iwata joined HAL Laboratory (a company that worked closely with Nintendo) after graduating from university and became its coordinator of software production in 1983. He helped develop games such as Kirby, Earthbound and Super Smash Bros for Nintendo 64. Even after he was promoted to president of HAL Laboratory in 1993, he continued to personally work on game titles including the popular Pokémon Gold and Silver and Pokémon Stadium. At that time HAL Laboratory was verging on bankruptcy and Iwata was instrumental in solidifying the company’s finances. Iwata became head of Nintendo’s corporate planning division in 2000 and president in 2002 when Hiroshi Yamauchi, president since 1949, stepped down. At the time of his promotion, Nintendo was performing poorly with its latest release, the Gamecube, being called an “unmitigated disaster” by Time International.

Under Iwata’s leadership, Nintendo after Yamauchi began to flourish and expand. He introduced the Nintendo DS, which would go on to compete against Sony PlayStation 2 for the title of “best-selling games console of all time” and the popular Wii, applauded for its universal appeal and easy to play format. After years of fiscal losses, Iwata’s changes to Nintendo and plans for smartphone and tablet game development began paying off financially. Iwata’s commitment to making gaming universal for all players has seen Nintendo experiment with different games and consoles, from the loveable Nintendogs to the trendy Wii Fit. He is remembered not only for his gaming successes but for the warmth and friendliness he exuded at public events and with fans. Social media users are currently sharing photos of Nintendo HQ in Kyoto, Japan that appeared after Iwata’s death showing a rainbow in cloudy skies. Fans are calling it Iwata’s Rainbow Road to Heaven, after the popular Rainbow Road in Mario Kart.

MARINA ABRAMOVIC: IN RESIDENCE ARTS & REVIEWS For 12 days this winter, Pier 2/3 in Sydney was the site of a truly innovative and remarkable art project. Kaldor Public Art Projects facilitated an interactive performance workshop conceived by Marina Abramović, a pioneer of performance as a visual art. The Abramović residency encouraged the public to enact seven works refined by Abramović throughout her incredible 40-year career. Arriving at Pier 2/3 I really did not know what to expect. I had purposefully refrained from reading any coverage on the project so as to maintain clarity when forming my own opinions about Abramović’s residency. Upon entering I was instructed to place all of my belongings, including my watch, in a locker and enter a warm-up space. Having locked away any measure of the moment in a locker, I entered a timeless space intended to foster the tenets of the Abramović method – mindfulness and contemplation on the present moment. The first room facilitated a series of physical warmups, which were presented on large screens, looping to a narration of Abramović, intended to stimulate the senses and open cognitive passages to a place where the cultivation of contemplation and mindfulness is achievable. Having completed my warm-ups, I put on sound cancelling headphones and entered the workshop space, to be taken by the hand from a figure dressed in all black and escorted to a

LOUISE KEAST chair facing a sheet of cobalt blue cardboard. The purpose of Looking At Colour, I assumed, was to sit and contemplate the vibrant hue and ease into a series of arduous tasks that require concentration and willpower to slow down the mind. I found it at first really difficult to focus on this mundane task after the excitement and cultish fervour I was experiencing no less than 15 minutes ago, in the line outside amid other curious people awaiting to enter the Abramović experience. Eventually boredom got the better of me with this task and upon standing again my hand was taken by a figure in black to Mutual Gaze. I was seated opposite another young woman and as the minutes passed I found it easier and more comfortable to meet her direct gaze. We rarely just sit and stare into the eyes of the stranger, however I found that the initial feelings of examination surrendered to a seemingly unending, unspoken moment of mutual coherence. Additional to Looking At Colour and Mutual Gaze were the exercises Slow Walk, Platform and Beds, which are all documented online (so I won’t go into them here), as well as the final exercise that I participated in – Counting Rice. The exercise involved separating grains of rice from a pile of black lentils, and then counting them, however when I was ready to participate, there was not actually a free

space. I found myself pacing around the table of 40-odd people, observing the methods they had implemented to systemize and count the grains. I was impressed with one man who, having presumably counted his, was fashioning his rice and lentils into an ornate equation that testified to the quantity of rice and lentils he had been given. I could not stifle this overwhelming desire to count rice and lentils, which amused and frustrated me, as I can imagine the repetitive structure of this task would, yet I could not leave without doing it! I thought “I have never once been bored at home and thought, I know, I will count some lentils and rice!” The activity itself is not exciting, however I felt like I needed to endure the very slowness of the task in order to cultivate the mindset that repetition brings about. It is this state of mindfulness that is at the very core of Marina Abramović’s practice. If you would like to know more about Marina Abramović, I highly recommend watching The Artist is Present, a documentary made in 2012 by Matthew Akers and Jeﬀ Dupre that shadows Abramović’s preparation for her retrospective at MoMA, New York. Or, if you have big bucks to spend and a desire to head to Hobart, David Walsh is presenting the exhibition Marina Abramović Private Archaeology at MONA until Oct 5, 2015.

WORONI No.8 Vol.67

MISS SAIGON

Illustration by Joanne Leong

Week 1, Semester 2, 2015.

T WO PERSPECTIVES ARTS & REVIEWS One of the greatest pleasures I have enjoyed in my ANU experience is participating in theatre and musicals. I strongly believe in fostering a welcoming and encouraging environment for new and experienced people to ANU theatre/ musical productions. So it deeply concerns me when the biggest production on campus has the potential to discourage people of diverse backgrounds from participating in future productions. This year’s Interhall Musical Production (IMP) is Miss Saigon, a musical comprised of many main roles depicting Vietnamese people at the end of the Vietnam War. But most of these roles have been filled by people of Caucasian background bar myself: a mixed-race (Filipino-Australian) person playing a role that is of mixed-race Vietnamese/French background. But let me be clear, I am not arguing that I can embody the experience of Vietnamese/French person in the 1970s. I am born and raised Western. My mother never imparted Filipino or South-East Asian culture, customs or mannerisms to me. My ability to perform “Asian” behavioural characteristics are shallow and stereotypical as best. While I do not harbour strong personal feelings for this issue, as someone from a mixed race background, I still feel compelled to share

ARTS & REVIEWS The controversy over Miss Saigon is a typical example of the debate over racial casting; can you cast a non-ethnic person in an ethnic acting role? Actors play a part; they pretend to be a character regardless of who they are. In a perfect scenario, there would be culturally relevant actors available for any part in the acting world but ultimately, each production is made up of who is willing to audition. Most people agree that the best performer for a role should receive the part. But it is now more often a question of employment instead of art. Approximately 80% of actors on Broadway in New York are white, which begs the question David Henry Hwang writes to readers in The Guardian: “is the best performer even getting a chance to audition?” The answer has more to do with the socio-economic class tropes in society and who is able to work as an actor than who are the best performers for what part. Diversity statistics in the acting industry are poor. But does cordoning off certain roles or productions specifically for ethnic minorities help the problem or encourage it? Questions of what it means to “play” another race are complicated, especially in a diverse multi-racial

JEREMY CASTILLO my thoughts. I will always share a sense of otherness, an intimate understanding of historical discrimination and racism, and a gut feeling of anxiety for potential discrimination, racism and exclusion with those that I share an ethnic-racial background. It is this gut feeling that enraged me at first when I saw that these roles in Miss Saigon are to be portrayed by Caucasian people who will never know and understand racism so intimately, whether it be in its most blatant or more discreet forms. I may not see the world through eyes of an Asian but I will always be bound, in some respects, through a shared familiar understanding of racism. It is through this shared understanding that I would rather see the main roles of Miss Saigon portrayed by people of Asian ethnic-racial backgrounds. However, my greatest concern is that people will see the lack of diversity in Miss Saigon. I am concerned that people from diverse backgrounds interested in participating will be discouraged by feelings of unworthiness. That they will see Miss Saigon and argue that if people from ethnic backgrounds cannot not even land a role that specifically tells the stories of their shared ethnic-racial narrative then

what chance do they stand? This strikes a chord with me, probably because it reflects my own feelings at times. It is hard to imagine yourself in the world of acting when there is a distinct lack of people who look like you or that you that you can view as a role model. That is why it is integral for myself and others to continuously participate and encourage people from all backgrounds to give it a go. However, I empathise with the heavy decisions made by the production team for Miss Saigon. Below is a statement from IMP: “For each of our productions, those who audition are assessed purely on their singing, dancing, and acting ability, as well as their willingness to cooperate and be a part of a team to work towards the larger goal of producing high quality musical theatre. Any other factors should not determine a person’s claim to any particular role. We undertake what is commonly referred to a ‘blind casting’ to ensure that people are not discouraged from auditioning due to feeling that they are not physically or aesthetically suited to a role. We believe that this allows us to foster strong inter-collegial relations by ensuring that all members are able to audition for any role.”

JESSICA MASTERS society where we are encouraged to understand each other for the purposes of tolerance and friendship. There has been concern that this year’s Interhall production of Miss Saigon is not representing a true ethnic-racial narrative. But in saying that, we have to ask the purpose of the production – is it to entertain and bring performing students from ANU together? Or is it to tell the plight of the Vietnamese people with as much authenticity as possible? Casting non-Vietnamese people in ethnically Vietnamese roles may not be culturally or ethnically authentic, but the wider purpose of the production may have been to promote performance among the colleges and provide an environment where performance students can gather and share interests, regardless of race or ethnicity. If we truly are encouraging people from all backgrounds to have a go and the audition process is fair, then why is the issue of who gets what part more important than equality of opportunity? The question of who is the most talented or who had the best audition seems to be almost irrelevant.

The issue of whether people outside an ethnic or racial group can truly understand their experience raises important questions of identity and understanding. It is probably true that there are different degrees of understanding depending on how close one is to the centre of events. Would it be more acceptable for a nonVietnamese Asian person to play a part in Miss Saigon than a Caucasian person? Is a quarterVietnamese Australian “Vietnamese enough” to play the role? At the heart of all arts is the human experience that surpasses all cultural boundaries; what it is to live, learn and find love. Limiting cultural works for fear of misappropriation has a bigger and more dangerous consequence; we may never learn from each other or overcome our cultural boundaries. Limiting access to cultural expression from those who “don’t belong” in terms of ethnic exclusivity is incredibly difficult in a globalising world where limitation serves only to create division and boundaries between us. Our world is not racially equal but segregating our art is most likely not the answer.

WORONI No.8 Vol.67

ALPINE

@ANU LOUISE KEAST

ARTS & REVIEWS Melbourne band Alpine played ANU Bar last Wednesday night, and despite the freezing conditions, it was great to see so many people out bopping along to the band’s latest album release, Yuck! What I love about seeing Alpine play live, other than their ridiculously fun indie-pop sound that features a tight-as rhythm section mashing together guitars, rhythms and synths, are Lou and Phoebe, the bands lead vocals.

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Actually, more specifically, my favourite thing about the band is Lou and Phoebe’s unstoppable and unashamed dance moves. Whilst singing lyrics that are often deep and introspective, the pair bounded across the stage making shapes, unembarrassed and carefree about flaunting their bodies as they felt the music. It was truly liberating, and I found myself encouraged to dance with a greater and wilder abandon than ever before.

The vibe in ANU Bar was different to when I previously saw Alpine perform on an open-air stage by Lake Burley Griffin during Enlighten Festival earlier this year, however on both occasions the band emanated a sublime confidence into the audience that reassured them that you are permitted to dance as wild and as crazy as you can when you’re moved by the music. It was refreshing to see so many people really connecting with the band’s creative intent – I’m sick of

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going to gigs where people stand unwaveringly still in the mosh! There’ll be more opportunities to dance unapologetically at ANU Bar over the coming months: DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE // July 30 MIAMI HORROR // Aug 13 THE PREATURES // Aug 27 SAFIA // Sep 12 THE JUNGLE GIANTS // Sep 25 THE RUBENS // Oct 2

REVIEW

FRANK SHANAHAN

ARTS & REVIEWS The Amy Winehouse story is well known. The talented young jazz singer thrust into a world of intense fame who ultimately became unravelled because of addiction. Asif Kapadia’s new film, simply titled Amy, sheds a new light on the troubled singer’s life and unpacks the assumptions made of her. Kapadia’s tireless research is commendable. Trawling through home videos, old interviews and performances, the director paints the image of someone who was unable to separate her

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stage life from her private life. Ominously, Winehouse says in an early interview: “I don’t think I could handle being famous, I would go mad.” Small touches in the film, such as her handwritten lyrics appearing while she sings, gives the impression of a raw performer, who, unlike some of her contemporaries, was unable to create an alter ego to protect herself. The film has worked admirably to recreate the “Rehab” singer’s image from her final days. The transformation from the

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ARTS & REVIEWS I know it’s a new semester and you’re pumped for productivity. You’re going to attend all your lectures and do all your readings, you think. I know. For those of you who will stay the course and get through the semester studious af, I applaud you. But as for the rest of you out there who will slowly but surely start skipping lectures one by one until you begin to forget what your lecturers even looks like, I come to you with the sage advice: just let go and embrace the inevitable procrastination by binging on The Americans. Let’s

confident young woman performing at the drop of a hat, to her final performance in Sarajevo, stumbling drunk and incoherent on stage, is especially heartbreaking. Kapadia however challenges the notion that Winehouse’s death was inevitable. The film is nearly totally objective, but at the same time takes a broad swing at those who were willing to goggle at the Winehouse circus, and even profit from it; from Amy herself to her family, especially her frustratingly oblivious father

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Mitch. The film shows the media’s ruthless hounding of her as a story to sell papers and the public for buying it up. Her ex-manager Nick Shymansky remembers: “all of a sudden, it was funny to make of fun of someone with a drug addiction.” It’s a tough task to present a story with a well-known tragic ending. But Kapadia gives the viewer an insight into Winehouse’s life that new-comers to the story will be captivated by and fans will love. 4.5/5

AMERICANS

PRAMILAA SHIVAKKUMAR just say it would be a worthwhile way of wasting your time. Philip (Matthew Rhys) and Elizabeth Jennings (Keri Russell) are KGB spies who pose as Washington, D.C. suburbanites in the early 1980s. Their cover is so deep they’ve even had to have American kids to keep up the charade. And who happens to be their friendly neighbour but Stan Beeman (Noah Emmerich), the FBI agent who specialises in counter-intelligence yet can’t seem to detect anything suspicious

about his dark-haired next-door neighbours. The Americans is tantalizing in its abundant layers of deception and intrigue. Philip and Elizabeth are masters of disguise who frequently take on ever more identities, have sex with their intelligence assets and even enter into sham marriages – other than the one they’re already in of course. You will be on the edge of your seat waiting for someone’s wig to blow off. For those mourning the recent end of anti-hero prestige dramas like

Mad Men and Breaking Bad or are twiddling their thumbs waiting for House of Cards season four,The Americans is for you…and quite frankly for everyone else too. So forget hitting up the Co-op for textbooks, and find a nice place to settle into and cram in three seasons of The Americans. Honestly though, if not for the chilling cold war politics or even the dirty sex then at least for the WIGS! WIGS for DAYS!

Week 1, Semester 2, 2015.

C A N B E R R A : T H E M I L K S H A K E CA P I TA L ? LIFE & STYLE To the casual observer, Canberra’s weather always seems less than hospitable come the winter months. This was particularly prominent a couple of weeks ago when I found myself caught in the city’s Winterfell-like conditions. I ventured out that morning in order to test for myself the gastronomical sensation that was the Pâtissez milkshake, a joyous occasion. But, as I stood out in the cold waiting in queue, I felt no joy whatsoever – only my teeth chattering and my breath condensing. During this melancholic time, my mind was filled with the many complaints I could make of Canberra. To begin with, the fact that I had an entire hour to wait for a mere milkshake alluded to just how lacking of vivacity this city was. Or is it? As soon as my eyes set upon that delightful mess of a milkshake, this pessimism gave way to a flurry of excited energy which re-ignited in my mind the true vibrancy that Canberra offers. Yes, although the wait that morning was

RYAN DE SOUZA less than agreeable, the fruit thereafter not only inspired me, but according to Facebook, captivated foodies nationwide. Now that Canberra is on the radar for foodies around the country, the city’s culinary landscape has been exposed for outsiders to see. Beginning with the well-established precincts of Braddon, New Acton and Kingston Foreshore, Canberra began conciling itself with a hipsteresque identity. Particularly through her many hospitality-based enterprises, Canberra has affirmed itself as a niche hub for food and beverage. Rather than dining at Chicken Gourmet and proceeding on towards Academy, a night these days is typically characterised by dinner and drinks at Hopscotch, leading to further shenanigans at more cultured attractions such as Knightsbridge, Honkytonks and Molly’s. That’s old news though. Canberra has seen even more development in recent times. Nowadays, the likes of Westside Acton Park or the humble suburban café-bistro beckon. If we consider the city and surrounds as the nucleolus and nucleus of Canberran

nightlife, the suburbs present exciting opportunities for new kinds of venues, creating waves within the community. There are now hopes for all demographics to explore Canberra’s bustling food scene. No longer are we limited to steaks and schnitties at the local club, rather these new establishments put on offer the likes of simplistic, traditional and organic foods, historically atypical for Canberra. It does not only stop there. In addition to these permanent venues, organised but informal food festivals are dotting the landscape. Just as the annual Multicultural Festival’s stalls pull an immense crowd, so too do the likes of the Night Noodle Markets at the Enlighten Festival, and the World Curry Festival in the City initiative of recent weeks. As much as Canberra may have seemed a desolate and frozen wasteland that day, the fact remains that Canberra has become a metropolitan attraction for culinary fanatics and bar-goers, Australia-wide. In the words of the iconic songstress, Kelis, Canberra’s milkshakes really do bring the boys to the yard.

WORONI No.8 Vol.67

Illustration by Joanne Leong

IMAGES OF THE 90’S FEATURES

When searching for words and images that captured the nineties, at first my mind could conjure up very little. After all, I was only five years old when the decade ended. For a while I could only think of the terrible fashion worn by playschool presenters. Mullets and shoulder pads leftover from the eighties, junners (jeans with runners), and baggy woollen jumpers. The nineties were my early childhood. I don’t know about you, but the first five years of my life were filled with many great adventures. Maybe for you it was getting your hand stuck inside a VHS machine and screaming for your mother to get it out. I was watching ABC cartoons like Trap Door, the Ferals, and William’s Wish Wellingtons. I watched Wallace and Gromit until the tape wore out and I had to go outside. Let’s not forget Pokemon. When I was a little older, I played Pokemon Red on my brother’s original black and white brick. The intensity of the game was always compounded by the fact that the console had a battery life of approximately half an hour. For me the highlights of the nineties were definitely going to the Hi-Five concert and shoplifting a Wiggles T-shirt. That was great fun, except for when Mum had to drag me back to the department store. I also got lost in the supermarket once; the manager returned me to

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my Mum and gave me a yowie. I still get lost in supermarkets, but yowies are now fossilised in another decade. My older cousins were teenagers, watching shows like Seinfeld, Friends, and The Simpsons. They were listening to Alanis Morrisette’s ironically unironic hit new single. (It’s like rain on your wedding day? I’m sorry honey, but I think that’s just really bad luck). And let’s not forget that the nineties were the first time we saw Heath Ledger’s dreamy claim to fame in Ten Things I Hate About You and Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy the Vampire Slayer. As for my parents? They were in the throes of bringing up children. Their experience of the nineties was a blur of dirty nappies, sleepless nights, and sickness. They tell me that they don’t remember much apart from being nearly broke and covered in food and vomit. My experience of the nineties was limited to those first experiments of early life – being pushed on the swing, running around, riding my bike rolling down grassy hills. When they weren’t playing video games with blocky graphics, our older siblings were playing in the streets with the neighbours. Miniskirts were still in fashion. I envied the girls who had stick on earrings and sparkly plastic gummi shoes.

While I was growing up, the world was turning. The Iraq War raged, the Cold War thawed. The Rwandan genocide killed nearly a million people, while South Africa successfully dismantled apartheid. Society remained blissfully ignorant of global warming. Third wave feminism flourished. Our world was smaller in comparison. My father went to work in a white Subaru and listened to cassette recordings of Powderfinger and Kurt Cobain. He spent his days in front of chunky grey desktop computer in a cubicle vaguely reminiscent of Office Space. His telephone set had a curly cord. He kept his work on a floppy disc. The internet was still new and the sound of the dial up modem and fax machines punctuated the hum of Windows 95 systems. 90s aesthetics were really quite something. Fashion moved away from the glitter and glam of the eighties. Block colours, bangs and Jennifer Aniston hair seemed to be all the rage. So were hideous woollen jumpers. Overall, the nineties was a decade of childhood and fun, sexy vampire slayers, and slightly questionable fashion trends. Bits and pieces of it are fuzzy in my memory, but I enjoyed every second of it. I can’t wait to relive it this week and party like it’s 1999.

Week 1, Semester 2, 2015.

WHERE TO RE-LIVE THE 90’S IN CANBERRA FEATURES Sometimes all you really want is to turn up the volume and sing nineties songs by yourself in your bedroom. Most other times - perhaps when your neighbours are home or you want human contact, you need to find external sources to live out your nineties dreams. Here, in no particular order, are some of the places in Canberra that remind me most of the nineties and as such make me very happy. Around Campus So many parts of the ANU campus echo the American college vibes of 90s teen brilliance. If your crib is Daley Road or Unilodge you’re probably buggin’ because the Ethernet cord life is only one step ahead of dial-up. However, the College of Law is so Fancy that it’s totally Clueless. One can also channel Buffy the Vampire Slayer all the time – not just when walking through the ANU alone at night.1 From the School of Art’s classic American Sunnydale High-esque design, to the tree-lined pathways where Willow would sit to study. Even our bars are about as cool as The Bronze. I’m just waiting to find out my college love interest secretly goes to ADFA. Transit Bar (on a Tuesday) Although not immediately mentioned to ANU newbies – unlike Mooseheads, Cube and Unipub – Transit is tight and should not be dissed. Often populated by townies, Transit comes alive on a Tuesday to the dope sounds of KARAOKE! Get in there and sing “Wannabe” or “Waterfalls”. Perhaps even crack out some Backstreet Boys or Steps. Best of all, the crowd will approve, whether or not you’re any good.

SYLVIA GUNN The West Wing If you ever find yourself becoming disenchanted with the state of Australian politics, head on down to Old Parliament House and pretend you’ve returned to the inspiring political world of The West Wing – let’s be honest, it’s the real reason we all moved to the ANU in the first place. Grab a group of your smartest friends, put on your best suits and demonstrate your ability to walk and talk through the meandering halls. Visit the offices of past Prime Ministers and channel your inner Bartlett/Whitlam while imagining a political world where politicians care about education, social welfare and our ability to reach for the stars – make sure you throw in some Latin and biblical quotes. If you prefer the new, head to actual Parliament House and in the Great Hall give an emotional rendition of President Bartlett’s speech in “Two Cathedrals”, because you never forgave Aaron Sorkin for killing Mrs Landingham. Finally, if you ever find yourself embroiled in your IR/ Law degree wondering where you’re going in life, turn up your Josh Lyman ego, stick a napkin reading “Bartlett for America” on your dorm wall and write a letter to Joe Hockey about your secret plan to fight inflation. Lake Burley Griﬃn Anyone else dream of living out that one scene in 10 Things I Hate About You where Kat and Patrick go paddle-boating on the lake – after sneaking out of detention, so reb – and then have a paint fight? Just me? Well either way, every time I see the boat shed on the lake, the song from that scene2 plays in my head. Unfortunately none of the paintball places in

Canberra are on the lake, so I’ve never tried them, but paddle boating has almost fulfilled my dream. Basically anywhere in Canberra Let’s ask ourselves, why do we love the nineties? It was shamelessly lame and innocent – as were we during the nineties; its music and TV shows weren’t objectively good, but somehow instead of cringing and insisting that we won’t dance when “Backstreet’s Back” comes on, we embrace it. We re-watch Friends, Seinfield and early South Park, fully knowing that the plotlines leave something to be desired, but god forbid anyone disses them. Hell no. This is how I feel about Canberra. It doesn’t really know what it’s doing. It was designed with good intentions, yet somehow it never managed to be properly cool. Roundabouts, Mooseheads and Questacon are the Furbies, Olsen twins and Animorphs of Canberra. Even though this city is not objectively a cultural wonderland, and even though foreigners are always shocked to hear that it is our capital, it’s the city we all love to love. The dream of the nineties is definitely alive in Canberra. To all you bush week newbies, welcome. You better love it.

1 - In all seriousness, this is a bad idea, even if you do have holy water in your handbag. Stay safe! 2 - FNT by Semisonic, for those of you playing at home.

WORONI No.8 Vol.67

A V

C A N B E R R A’ S ARTS & REVIEWS From Commonwealth Avenue, the West Acton Park, where Aviary is situated, may seem like an array of lost shipping containers. Senator Glen Sterle infamously referred to the area as resembling the beginnings of a detention centre. However first impressions truly hide what lies within. Aviary functions as a large undercover rooftop bar offering the best views that the Canberra skyline has to offer. The venue itself is completely fitted out with custom-made and second-hand furniture. Artworks from local artists adorn the wooden

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KALVIN RAJMANO panels and real plants are scattered throughout, cumulatively creating a chill and natural vibe. The bar is walled by clear wrap around sheets to protect patrons from the Canberra elements, however additional heaters are regularly scattered throughout for those extra chilly nights. The drinks list consists exclusively of Canberra wines and craft beers, however if you want something a bit different try one of the seasonal cocktails. Conveniently located at the base of Aviary are arrays of food traders, whose food can be brought upstairs.

Owner and manager of Aviary, Alex Heslop, a Commerce/Arts student at the Australian National University stated: “although we had a difficult start with teething issues, we have started hitting our stride and getting it right.” This assertion is corroborated by food and lifestyle publications across the nation featuring the quirky bar, and their success looks to only improve leading into the spring and summer seasons. Opening Hours: Wednesday 5-9, Thursday 5-10, Friday 5-Late, Saturday Noon-Late and Sunday 128.

W H A T I T ’ S R E A L LY L I K E T O G O O N E XC H A N G E INTERNATIONAL I discovered what it means to leave your comfort zone when I rejected all offers of help finding university accommodation, arrived in Lyon with my backpack alone at night on New Year’s Day and got a taxi to go to a youth hostel where I had no food and couldn’t sleep because someone was snoring. My (very idealistic) plan was to look for apartments online and become best friends with my new French housemates before I began an amazing semester on exchange. Two weeks later I was still living in a hostel, uni was about to start and I was stressed and crying almost every day. In the end things worked out and I realised that, while I had been freaking out, I had actually been doing some really cool stuff. I managed to navigate the infamous French administration, open a bank account, find a studio to live in and learn how to make friends in a new city and new university, all

BRIDGET SAN MIGUEL in a foreign language. I even managed to pretend I was actually French so that I could get into a museum for free! Once I had a place to live, my worries shifted from, “Omg is this apartment in a ghetto suburb” and “will I like the housemates” and “I’m scared” to, “I think I bought too many potatoes”. Uni started, and it was just like being in first year again. I was SO unfashionable with my backpack and knitted jumper and I was always lost. I had no idea what was going on with my timetable, which meant I missed quite a lot of classes by accident. Uni eventually got easier too, and I began to drink long life milk, eat crème fraîche and accept that I just had to write on graph paper (lined paper doesn’t exist in France). I learnt to ski, trained myself to be up and ready for 8am classes, and

sort of (but never quite) got the hang of kissing on the cheek. There were a couple of setbacks (of course!). One of them was unexpectedly failing a final exam about History of the Middle Ages. I had to extend my apartment contract and miss a trip to London so I could resit the exam, but staying longer meant that I had more time to spend with my new friends. Somehow, I made it through the semester and sort of managed to hold myself together when the time came to say goodbye. I never knew that I would be able to count amongst my closest friends, people who come from Colombia, America, Bosnia, Finland, Canada and New Zealand, and I never knew how tough it would be to leave them behind.

Week 1, Semester 2, 2015.

T H E H OW-T O G U I D E T O P O L I T I C S COMMENT Politics is one of the enduringly popular humanities majors for Arts students at the ANU. Yet the way many students go about filling their 7 subjects leaves them largely unqualified and knowledgeable about only a handful of topical global trends. To avoid finding yourself unskilled and ignorant at the end of your degree, consider the following suggestions. There are, broadly speaking, three types of courses that you can study in politics at ANU— political science courses, political theory courses, and case study courses. Political science emphasises formal modelling and empirical methodologies, especially statistics. As the name implies, political science is non-normative and is principally concerned with trying to discern how things actually are to predict future outcomes. As the ANU had almost no political science courses until recently, now is a great time to test the waters. Political theory tends to be more normative, and is concerned with ideas in politics. The objective of such courses is to provide students with a historical perspective on the development of political thought, and equip them with the

MARK FABIAN ability to analyse and critique political notions like liberalism, totalitarianism, and the veil of ignorance from a priori positions. Finally, case study courses look in depth at current, trending subjects, like nuclear politics, the Middle East, or refugees. The best try to apply tools and perspectives from political theory and science to unpack these case studies. Limit your number of case study courses. Why? Because theory and science courses give you the tools you need to conduct an analysis, while case study courses just give you something to analyse. Without these tools, you will simply apply your prejudices to your case study courses and come out of your degree neither smarter nor wiser than you were going in. That seems like a waste of $20,000. Yet another reason to avoid case studies is that they are extremely specific: you will rarely have an opportunity to apply what you learn from them in your life. How many of you will actually go on to work in nuclear politics? What about the Middle East? Your specialist knowledge is likely to become redundant and you will find that you have very little to bring

to the table. Not only are employers going to be hard pressed to consider you useful, but you yourself will have little that you can apply to understand the world as it changes over the coming decades. The main reason people avoid political science courses is that they fear the math. This is understandable; but the world is moving inexorably towards formal models and empiricism, and this is a trend that will only accelerate. You are better off learning these techniques at the relatively easy undergraduate level, rather than coming back later in life when you are burdened with more pressures and less time. The easiest way to waste your arts degree is to spend 3 years applying your prejudices to new topics and becoming ever more confirmed in your biases. If you enrol predominantly in case study courses, form cliques with like minded individuals, and debate along well-worn lines of political debate, you won’t learn very much at all. Instead, stick to courses that provide tools, skills, and analytical lenses. There will be plenty of time to wage ideological war later in life and postgraduate studies.

WHAT’S IN A DEGREE? LIFE & STYLE Like many students in their final year at university, as of late I find myself wondering, what exactly have I learned? Has there been any real reason for dooming myself to years of debt? As a student of Music especially, where the degree I’ll receive at the end of it all really doesn’t even lead to many solid job opportunities, this left me a little concerned. Well, maybe quite concerned. My chosen instrument is the bass. I began playing with a passion for heavy, complex metal music where the central feature was the speed at which the musicians could play. Understandably, 16 year old me ate that stuff up. Now that I’ve gone through nearly three years of formalised musical education however, it occurs to me that the focus has been on the very opposite. Few people really care how fast you can play; most of the beloved musical greats of history are known for their ability to convey emotion through song, or appeal to the innermost workings of the heart and mind. I haven’t consciously improved my technical

JACK SCHWENKE playing in the entire time I’ve been studying here- the focus has been entirely on learning to play stuff that feels good, rather than an affront to the human comprehension of what is physically possible. What’s important here is that I’m still on the path I originally chose - to pursue music - yet I’ll come out of this degree with an entirely changed musical philosophy and I hadn’t even realised this had been happening. I’ve had some great opportunities along the way. I’ve won competitions and played at Groovin’ the Moo. I’ve been fortunate enough to play at and witness countless weddings and I’ve met, played and recorded with a number of phenomenal musicians. However, through the pursuit of these purely musical skills, I’ve also come to learn an entirely new skillset! The discipline to practice many hours every day, to learn how to effectively plan out and achieve long term goals, to interact with people I may otherwise never have met on a deeper, creative level - these are just some of the things I’ve gained from the experience that has been my degree. Every one of these experiences has

built my musical ability, but also who I am as a person today – and that is so much more than I was even one year ago, let alone three, and this doesn’t even take into account all the wonderful friendships I’ve made! So, my degree in itself is not that useful. It’s what I’ve learned going through the process that is truly valuable – and I feel this is something that many lose sight of during our time here! Some may get their degree and never use it, or drop out halfway through, but the way I see it, no time spent learning is wasted. I think everyone should think about what they have, or could, glean from their time here at the ANU. It may have nothing to do with your main line of study - but that makes it no less valuable. And to those of you with degrees that will land you jobs straight out of uni? Well, screw you.

WORONI No.8 Vol.67

G R A D UA T E P U RGATO RY SATIRE & HUMOUR

LOUISE FINCH-PENNINGER

Leaving the warm, supportive embrace of university life, taking baby steps off the graduation stage and into the “real world” is a fear inducing thought for many. Seemingly each decision a new graduate makes has a bigger philosophical implication about the kind of life one seeks to lead. Will they compromise their values for a higher salary? Sacrifice ethics to work for Tony Abbott’s public service? Of course, the scariest part of graduating is not these esoteric philosophical conundrums but rather a simple, well-meaning question asked by friends. The innocent eight words “so what are you going to do now?” fill most graduates with a sense of dread. Truthfully, many find themselves with no particular dream job or definite career ambitions. Interrupting these thoughts the aforementioned “friend” will then inevitably reminisce about their university days, absentmindedly referring to them as “the best time of their life”, at once boosting the new graduate’s morale as they look into the unknown abyss which is their future. Eagerly awaiting this blubbering new influx of graduates after a minimum 16 year education is the Australian dream: a 40 hour work week speckled with a myriad of afternoon teas and work drinks making awkward, stiff conversation about the upcoming restructure of their workplace. The

FREE SCIENCE When lasers and explosions are combined, the first thing that may come into most people’s mind is that they’re only capable of destroying things - but not in the case of some ANU scientists! A team from the ANU Research School of Physics and Engineering have created a (literally) explosive new technique, which can be used to make new material structures, by simply shooting stuff with a laser. But we’re not just talking about any old laser here; rather a specific laser known as the Femtolaser, which can fire around 10 trillion pulses per second. As discussed in their paper, published in Nature Communications, these rapid laser pulses cause micro explosions to occur in the material being shot at. This puts the material (in this case silicon), under intense pressure causing the material to be heated up to 100,000 degrees celsius. That’s more than 15 times hotter than the surface of the Sun. This incredible heat and pressure causes the silicon to turn into a weird plasma state known as Warm Dense Matter (WDM)- a state that is too energetic to be solid but too dense to be normal plasma. In this state, the material’s previous structure is wiped away and the atoms can rearrange themselves into new patterns and structures. As

overwhelming supply of competing job hunters with the same qualifications and poor economic conditions do not faze them as they start the never ending process of applying for graduate positions. Donning corporate wear they bravely tackle questions about teamwork and their “greatest weaknesses”, which unfailingly turn out to be an asset.

ambition to become a YouTube star. A second gap year is also commonly undertaken symptomatic of the regression to this stage of life: graduate purgatory. Furthermore, while it is typically the stage of life to risk everything on a start-up #yolo, this cohort of new graduates is increasingly drifting towards the security and flexible hours of the public service instead.

The interviewing process is an increasingly selfaware period for the job applicant who must not only determine the type of work they are interested in but also which attributes they will bring to the work environment. Throughout these arduous months of self-inspection none will ever question whether they should have become a tradie instead. None shall ever calculate if after HECS and taxes they will actually earn less than in their past casual retail position. None will query the practicality of their arts degree or the validity of the many psychometric tests they will undertake. Of course for those job seekers also looking to invest in the real estate market, this self-inspection is not required, for they know all you have to do is get a good job that pays good money.

The lessor known freedom fighter put it best when he said “education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” Whether it’s helping an eighteen year old provide education to women in Syria or inventing something as necessary as the selfie-stick, young graduates are encouraged to pursue their passion. As the leaders of tomorrow embrace the change that is before you and create opportunities to make your dreams a reality. It is your responsibility to live up to your potential just as it was this writer’s responsibility to include as many cliché expressions as possible.

Often onlookers will notice a circle-of-life effect during which new graduates return to live with their parents and resume their high school

THE

However, never fear, if the real world isn’t for you, simply go back to university to complete a postgraduate qualification. You’ll need that extra time and learning to compete in the job market next time round. For now just enjoy your graduation ceremony, throw your hat up into the air and put out of mind the exorbitant fees you paid for this golden moment.

LASER!

JAMES ANSELL a result the new version of the material has very different properties to what is normally observed. These new structures tend to be unstable and would disappear after a short period of time, but fortunately the material is able to cool incredibly quickly (thanks to the Square-Cube Law); literally freezing the atoms of the material in these new arrangements after a fraction of a second. Perhaps the most interesting aspect of this process by far is the different properties that the resulting material structures have. For example, one structure has significantly higher absorption rates of light, meaning that it could be used to create highly efficient solar cells which can be used to produce electricity. Another potential structure is that of a superconductor - a material that has no electrical resistance. Superconductors have a huge range of applications, ranging from medical technology such as MRI machines, cutting edge high speed transportation (like Maglev Trains) and high speed computing. The semi-conductor industry in computers alone is worth billions of dollars, meaning that making semi-conductors which

are also superconductors could have a massive impact on this industry (and as a bonus could stop computers from generating excess heat). These sorts of materials aren’t new, we’ve been making them for years. But normally we use tiny diamond tipped hammers to smack the material, creating high pressure and temperature to achieve a similar effect. However this method produces temperatures and pressure much lower than the new technique, and as a result is nowhere near as effective. The laser-explosion technique can create thousands of “microzones” (areas with new structure) in a material every second, which is far more than any diamond hammer. Most importantly, the laser-explosion technique is far cheaper and easier to upscale for industrial scale manufacturing, meaning that we could potentially manufacture larger amounts of better quality materials, for a fraction of the current price. So you could one day be using your high speed, heat free computer while riding on a high speed maglev train (both of which are powered through super solar cells) thanks to the work of this team of ANU scientists!

Week 1, Semester 2, 2015.

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WORONI No.8 Vol.67

Illustration by Joanne Leong

THE

HEAT

FOR LADY LIZARD SCIENCE If you can’t handle the heat… become a female! In the human world, starting out as one sex and becoming another is as yet far from being accepted. In the animal kingdom, however, such a transition is not unusual, and an Australian lizard is the latest to join the ranks of gender bending critters. The central bearded dragon, with its familiar frilly head and sun-baked colouring, is a popular pet that naturally inhabits the arid areas of Central Australia. But it is likely few people know that their pet lizard might be genotypically male and phenotypically female. In terms of sex determination of the lizard, genotype refers to the sex chromosomes present and phenotype refers to the outward characteristics displayed. In these lizards, as in most other animals, the two normally align. For an individual to display a phenotype different to their genotype is very unusual. Sex determination in lizards is usually genotypically driven alone, or is temperature dependent and is set at fertilisation; the central bearded dragon is displaying a third type of system that is sort of a mixture of the two.

LYDIA SEARLE These lizards do have sex chromosomes, labelled Z and W, where: ZZ is associated with maleness, and ZW is associated with femaleness. However, when a ZZ egg is exposed to temperatures of 32°C and above, there is the possibility that the embryo will develop into a female instead of a male, phenotypically. This is thought to be due to a male determining gene on the Z chromosome that can be deactivated by heat. ZZ female lizards are much more fecund than their ZW counterparts, and have on average around twice as many offspring. This could pose a problem to future lizard populations as ZZ males and ZZ females who mate can only produce ZZ offspring. With rising temperatures, more and more of these ZZ embryos may develop into females instead of males. The outcome could be lizard populations overrun with females and few male bachelors, potentially leading to the extinction of the species. Central bearded dragons aren’t the only

animals to transition between genders; barramundi do this as well, although in a completely different manner. Barramundi are sequential hermaphrodites, meaning that majority of the fish begin life as males and will remain so until they reach sexual maturity. This generally occurs around 3-4 years of age, and then for 1-2 spawning seasons after that they will continue to display the male phenotype. At the age of five, the fish transition from male to female, essentially creating a generation of barramundi cougars who mate with the younger, still-male fish. This system of gender transition is quite common in other species of aquatic fish, especially those found in tropical areas. We are still coming to accept different ideas of what sex and gender are and how they work. But these two organisms display natural sex determination systems and sex transitioning systems that are incredibly interesting and complex, and perhaps challenge the ideas of what is normal when it comes to sex and gender.

Week 1, Semester 2, 2015.

ANTIBIOTICS YESTERDAY, PHAGES TODAY, PEPTIDE DRUGS TOMORROW AND BACTERIA WILL BE NO MORE! SCIENCE

Since the discovery of penicillin almost nine decades ago by Alexander Fleming, antibiotics have played a pivotal role in the battle against bacterial infections and as such, have had a long-standing influence on human health and immunity. However, as Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith eloquently stated in ‘The Karate Kid’ – “Wu ji bi fan” (too much of good stuff is bad stuff) – so too is the use of ‘too much’ antibiotics. The overuse (and misuse) of antibiotics has inadvertently led to certain deadly bacterial strains gaining increased virility and resistance to the antibiotics currently accessible. As a result, medicinal chemists at GlaxoSmithKline believe that it is important to change focus, and look towards antibiotic alternatives made available by Mother Nature, when combatting these bacterial infections. So if you’re looking to kill some bacteria, why not use one of its own kind, right? After all, the concept of ‘good vs. bad bacteria’ is widely known. Well, scientists are doing exactly that and are investigating the effectiveness of predatory bacterial species against infectious and harmful ones. One such predatory bacterium, the Bdellovibrio bacteriovorus, attacks its prey by inserting itself between the inner and outer membranes of the host microbe. This then allows the predatory bacterium to replicate and divide itself, ultimately bursting its host into smithereens and releasing more of itself into the environment. Talk about a badtempered guest!

CELINE OLIVIA AND SUYAN YEE Another antibiotic substitute under exploration is a class of drugs referred to as ‘peptide drugs’. These drugs have their roots in the antimicrobial peptides produced by the immune systems of amphibians and reptiles, which, strangely enough, render these animals impervious to infections. The application of peptide drugs to human health can be seen in the use of pexiganan (an antibacterial peptide extracted from the skin of the African Clawed Frog) to treat foot ulcers brought on by diabetes. Despite the apparent benefits, these antimicrobial peptide drugs still need to clear trial phases, and are also quite expensive to produce. Viruses (or as the professionals say, ‘phages’) receive a lot of bad press due to certain diseases associated with them. However, this hatred should not be extended to bacteriophages (bacteriaeating viruses) which have so far proved to be beneficial, and are currently being used in clinics as a result. Because phages are found in abundance, and each type of phage attacks only a specific bacterium, they can be easily replaced, leaving ‘good bacteria’ to their work. [1] So look no further, phages might just be the next ‘in thing’ as ammunition in the war against ‘bad bacteria’. Unfortunately, phages aren’t as invincible as we’d like to think as bacteria are able to develop resistance to them over time; this calls for something extreme. What a better way to kill bacteria than to make them... suicidal? CRISPR (clustered, regularly interspaced, short palindromic repeat) is a gene-editing technique

based on the fact that bacteria have a Cas9 enzyme. This enzyme is part of the bacterial defense mechanism and is responsible for protecting bacteria against foreign invaders like phages. Scientists are not only utilizing this CRISPR/Cas9 (gene-editing enzyme) system to make the bacteria kill themselves, but are also trying to design ‘kill switch’ CRISPRs for genes responsible for antibiotic resistance. What a crisp technique indeed! Alternatively, there’s always copper and silver, old favorites of Hippocrates’, which were used when treating wounds due to their antimicrobial properties. Sadly, concerns about metal toxicity has led to their minimal usage, and restriction of use mainly in topical balms. However, a walk along the periodic table to atomic number 31 brings us to an anomaly; elemental gallium, which bacteria sometimes confuse for iron. Such a silly blunder can cost bacteria their existence, as gallium is toxic to them. Fortunately for us, gallium is safe enough and as a result, is being used in the intravenous treatment of lung infections, and will undergo further research at the University of Washington. Now that a range of alternative antibacterial therapies have been brought into the spotlight, the only question that remains is, which of them will be most effective in the battle against bacteria? Our stakes are currently on the seemingly bad, yet potent bacteriophages. Thanks Alexander Fleming but so long, antibiotics!

WORONI No.8 Vol.67

AFL STATE OF ORIGIN?

THANKS

CHARLIE AUSTIN

SPORTS Melbourne’s recent hosting of the NRL’s State of Origin has reignited calls for the AFL to bring back state of origin into the football calendar. AFL fixtures have not featured state of origin clashes since 1999 – in that famous affair where the great Ted Whitten said his final farewell to the footballing fraternity. With these memories still intact, some football romantics are currently flirting with the idea of bringing the series back. Certainly there is enormous appeal in witnessing the champions of the game playing alongside and against one another. The possibility of witnessing Dangerfield, Selwood and Pendlebury linking up in the Victorian midfield is a tantalising prospect that has the mouths of most football supporters watering. However in reality, I sense that football fans do not care enough

about state of origin for its return to be warranted. As a Victorian, my passion for the Big V would not be even remotely comparable to my passion for the mighty Richmond Football Club. Should a state of origin series ever be reintroduced, I envisage myself barracking more for individual Tigers - irrespective of which state they were representing – rather than giving my uncompromised support to Victoria. I sense this would be a similar experience for most football fans – particularly those that never witnessed state of origin fixtures throughout the decades of the latter half of the twentieth century. The failed International Rules Series between Australia and Ireland is an illustration of how fans do not really care for representative football.

On a logistical front, it’s difficult to imagine how a state of origin series could fit within a crowded AFL calendar. If the series occurred prior to or midway through the AFL premiership season, club supporters would be praying the entire time that none of their star players sustain injuries. Unlike what happens in the NRL, AFL clubs and their supporters would not accept losing their players throughout the season due to state of origin commitments. For NRL supporters, it appears that the pinnacle of their passion rests at the state of origin level. This passion perhaps largely explains why the NRL State of Origin is such an enormous success with over 90,000 fans recently packing out the MCG. But for AFL followers, nothing

matches the support we share for our clubs throughout the home and away season as they compete for that elusive premiership cup. Additionally, unlike in rugby league, AFL players originate from all states and territories of Australia, meaning that any potential format of a state of origin series suddenly becomes far more complex than the two-state competition of the NRL. Ultimately for a state of origin series to succeed, supporters must reach for their state scarves with at similar enthusiasm to the way they don their club colours each weekend. For most club fans, this just would not be possible. In essence, the overall passion supporters have for the game at club level renders everything else unnecessary.

GROWTH OF

AUSTRALIAN BASKETBALL SPORTS “With the 1st pick in the 2005 NBA draft, the Milwaukee Bucks select Andrew Bogut from Australia.” With these words, then NBA commissioner David Stern announced the beginning of a new and exciting era for Australian men’s basketball. Currently there are a record seven Australians playing in the NBA an incredible figure considering there have only been eight other Australians in NBA history. Outside of the USA, only fierce competitor and top 5 ranked nation France has more current players with nine. Meanwhile, history was recently made when four Australians took to the court in a 2015 regular season match up between the San Antonio Spurs and Utah Jazz. Not bad for a nation still languishing outside the world top ten. Such amazing development has coincided with a number of significant achievements.

NICK BENECKE Three Australians in the past two years, Andrew Bogut (now with the Golden State Warriors), Patty Mills and Aron Baynes (both San Antonio Spurs) have won NBA championships. Bogut’s selection back in 2005 saw him become the first Australian in history to be taken with the number one draft pick. Dante Exum, an Australian Institute of Sport prodigy, was selected with the 5th pick in the 2014 NBA draft at the age of 18. Joe Ingles and Cameron Bairstow have locked down roster spots on their respective teams, the Utah Jazz and Chicago Bulls. And then there’s Matthew Dellavedova. Commonly known as “Delly” the Australian born and bred Cleveland Cavaliers guard has exceeded all expectations. His perseverance and determination saw him progress from an undrafted

rookie to a key role player in the starstudded Cleveland team. Then the 2015 NBA finals came along. An unfortunate injury to key teammate Kyrie Irving thrust “Delly” into starting line-up. The country Victorian certainly made the most of his opportunity. A playoff career high 20 points in Game 3 and lock-down defence on league MVP Stephen Curry led to teammate and arguably the world’s best player Lebron James proclaiming, “I love what Delly brings to the team. He’s been great for us.” Certainly not shabby praise for the previously unknown Australian. And for those that may have thought Australian basketball has reached its peak, think again. Australian 18 year-old Ben Simmons was the recently named the US national high school player of the year, has signed with heavyweight Louisiana State University and is expected to be a top pick in next year’s NBA draft.

Not far behind, Australian-Sudanese teenager Thon Maker, who at 18 years of age already stands at 7-foot-1, has attracted interest from some of the top US basketball colleges. Ultimately, all this success has lead to one question – what does this mean for the Boomers, the Australian men’s basketball team? By all indications it points to exciting times are ahead. The Boomers, who have placed fourth three times at the Olympic Games will look to go at least one better in 2016. With Bogut stating this is the “best opportunity” for Australia to finally claim that elusive Olympic medal, there are high hopes for the upcoming games. Although much work will have to be done, a medal in such an arena would re-affirm what is now abundantly clear. Australian basketball is for real.

Week 1, Semester 2, 2015.

AUSTRALIAN EASTERN UNIGAMES THIS AD WAS CREATED AND PAID FOR BY ANU SPORT Australian Eastern University Games were held from July 5th – 9th down in Wagga Wagga, NSW with ANU sending its largest team to date to the competition. Over 250 students represented the ANU in; Football, Basketball, Netball, Hockey, Touch Football, Volleyball, Futsal, AFL 9s, Tennis, Squash and Golf. Team captains Laura O’Neill and Rohan Proctor report on the week that was EUG 2015. Everyone knows that going to EUG is about representing your university to the best of your sporting ability, making new friends and having the time of your life. Team work is vital to success at EUG both on and off the field. Whether it’s the support play on the field, the wingman/woman at the social program or someone to share in your suffering as your prepare for an 8am game in negative temperatures, nothing brings people together quite like unigames. This year was no different. Team ANU certainly left Uni Games with nothing left to give. The event began on Sunday evening with the official opening ceremony featuring Mashed N Kutcher who was as well received as the free

donuts the red frogs were handing out, not bad. UTS knew what they were getting themselves into, sporting their attention grabbing, LED lit team hoodies. Once the opening ceremony came to a close thoughts turned to the first day of competition. The great leveler of Uni Games is always the first game in the morning of each day. In this tough timeslot where byes are a precious commodity, big gains and losses are made in the tournament standings, the collective resilience of teams is put to the test, some do worse than others, but nobody does well that early in the morning. No matter how bad you think you had it for first games of the day nobody had it worse than women’s volleyball, having 7:30am games on the first 3 days of competition, thankfully on the last day they got to sleep in, starting at the late hour of 8:30am! After the first day of competition, a team can begin to benchmark themselves against their future opponents. Teams can suss out which games are must win and which might be a bit more relaxed. Unigames is just as much about challenges and team work off the field as it is on the field. In a quintessential

unigames debacle, team captain Laura O’Neill found herself staying overnight in hospital. In the true spirit of the games Laura got herself checked out of hospital a few hours early so as to not miss a game and then proceeded to completely ignore the doctor’s advise on taking it easy for a few days. Remember nothing short of actually dying is a good enough excuse to miss a game! Over the course of the week ANU teams had mixed fortunes, the AFL 9s were unable to register a victory after playing all three of their opponents on day 1. However were able to scrape into the semifinals due to the fact that only 4 teams turned up to the competition. The ultimate team faired a little better, Ali Bulbul scoring more digits than points. Honourable mention must go to a team who embodied the true spirit of the entire ANU team; Lawn Bowls, a team committed to the whole Uni Games experience, who finished 4th. ANUs most successful athlete was Squash competitor Aiden Parkes. Aiden went undefeated all week in the squash tournament winnning ANU’s only gold medal. The ANU Mixed Touch were another success

story winning bronze. Wagga Wagga provided some quality venues, some with nicely trimmed grass and others with sticky dance floors and sauna-like ambience, all within close proximity to our accommodation. The team dinner on the 3rd night was successful; everyone got around the spirit of Uni Games and shared their accomplishments from the previous days of sporting activity. Thank you to the ANU Bears touch football team for setting the standard early on with some heartfelt and moving love poems! EUG’s was loads of fun and we can’t wait to see you guys at AUGs in September and do it all over again. ANU Team Captains Rohan Proctor & Laura O’Neill Australian University Games is just around the corner running from 27th September to 2nd October on the Gold Coast. ANU will again be looking to send a strong team along! For more information visit http://www.anusport.com.au/australian-universitygames or contact Jack Birtwhistle to register your interest.

ORONI COMPLAINTS? CALL DIRECTLY AND REGISTER YOUR COMPLAINT HERE: (02) 6125 2444

VEGAN ACCIDENTALLY EATS CONFECTIONARY CONTAINING ANIMAL PRODUCT – STILL CONSIDERS SELF TO BE VEGAN HUMOUR & SATIRE A seemingly harmless birthday prank turned into an obscene tragedy last weekend as a selfconfessed vegan ate a cupcake topped with M&Ms, yet refused to accept her resultant status as a mere vegetarian. Pandora McGherkin’s presence at the local birthday celebration sparked outrage from party-goers, who feared the newly vegan attendee would spoil the proceedings by enquiring after ingredients and feebly abusing fellow patrons. Two guests attempted to make everyone else feel comfortable by offering McGherkin a treat. She accepted, ignorant of the animal products therein. “My aunt told me M&Ms had red beetle juice in them,” says Lachlan Liberty, one of the sweets-supplying Samaritans. “When she announced she was vegan at my mum’s 40th birthday, the family was astounded. I never saw my aunt again.” Events became truly disturbing when McGherkin, upon being told the truth of her

OLIVIA SPARROW masticatory treachery, retorted that it was “only” her second day of veganism and as such she “wasn’t too familiar yet” with its intricacies, declaring she would “do better from now on”. “I just can’t believe she could still claim it,” says an inconsolable Phoebe Forthright. “I miss the old Pandora – without the hemp clothes and the constant daisy chain neck rash. We thought we could cure her malady by showing the error of her ways and candidly calling out her naiveté in a public setting.” McGherkin is presently uncontactable for comment, as she now lives in a secret hermitage in the woodlands behind her parents’ house, where she keeps the door locked and only communicates via Pinterest. This horror comes within weeks of numerous claims against vegan imposters, from highfalutin so-called violinists to your run-of-themill gimp coming under attack in a less than

balletic fall from grace. This general trend of lacklustre veganism may be caused by an increase in the movement’s popularity, according to Hermes Hangerford of the Network Against Zoological Ingestion Imposters. “Being vegan is just another way kids rebel these days,” he says. “This false empowerment – that people can enact change without money or a political majority – it’s absolute garbage. It’s nonsense. It’s all twatty nonsense… No one in our organisation is vegan. But we cannot stand the idea that there are people out there who are falsely claiming to be. Unless you are a true vegan in every sense of the word, you are a liar and a coward.” Hangerford implores that we maintain resilience against these amateur vegans, as our society’s fundamental values and ideals may be at steak.

URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT:

CIA INVESTIGATING ANU/ISIS LINK HUMOUR & SATIRE In a Woroni exclusive, it was revealed today that the CIA are monitoring all communications within the ANU, following a spike in ISIS related searches within the college. A potential female leader, known only as “Isis” is still at large and may pose serious threat to the university. The spike occurred at the start of bush week, with authorities warned that this may lead to an ISIS related event, potentially a crash, occurring on the ANU campus. The CIA have been trying to find a major ISIS related female figure, worshiped roughly 4000 years ago around the Nile. Due to spikes in ISIS searches, it is suspected that she may reside within the ANU, particularly in the classics and ancient history department. Recent research conducted by the CIA into early Egyptian mythological texts has resulted in the

ANDREW CAVENAGH discovery of a link between ISIS and students studying ancient history, particularly ancient Egypt. The CIA has promptly arrested all students studying Egyptology as a precaution. The police are currently tracking students that have been posting about changes to ISIS on stalkerspace. This is to ensure that they are not using the medium to meet up with other potential ISIS members, under the guise of “subject selection” and “fee problems”. Authorities have informed police on campus to deviate from their normal routine of bike helmet inspections and to be on the lookout for increased ISIS activity around the classics museum as well as increasing surveillance on stalkerspace. Image of suspect on the right.