Bridal Guide 10-23-2011- New Britain Herald

Honeymoon hot spots PAGE 4

Tech use on rise for weddings

PAGE 7

Groom cakes get creative

PAGE 9

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The Herald Press

THE PERFECT WEDDING

Registry trends reflect a practical approach Staff Report

Wedding registries have evolved to reflect the less-traditional preferences of today’s couples. With an average age of 28 for brides and 29 for grooms, newlyweds are older, more sophisticated, more informed and more practical when it comes to their spending and their gift preferences, said Linda Williams, vice president marketing, wedding services at 1-800-Registry, the first full-service wedding advisory organization and online service

for brides and grooms.

By the time couples have decided to tie the knot, they’ve already stocked their households with appliances, housewares, china and linens. Couples are more often opting out of traditional registries in favor of those that offer alternatives that appeal to their lifestyle, according to Williams.

Here are some popular, alternative wedding registries that have gained momentum recently: ď Ž Honeymoon or New Home Registry: A wedding registry that

lets friends,family and guests contribute toward a couple’s honeymoon or the purchase of a new home has gained popularity in the past couple of years. At www.1800Registry.com, a wedding planning and honeymoon/ home registry service, couples can sign up for a wedding registry that allows gift giving toward their honeymoon getaway, a down payment on a new home or both. ď Ž Hardware & Home Improvement: Along with home ownership, more established

couples welcome wedding gifts that encourage home improvement to enhance the quality of their lives. Some hardwarestores offer online wedding registries, such as www.ryleesace.com, that let couples register for everything from power tools and household goods to lawn and garden equipment to help transform a house into a home. ď Ž Charitable Giving: Couples may direct their wedding guests to make donations to a local or national charity that is near and dear to their hearts instead of more traditional gifts or cash. Gift

givers can choose to visit the nonprofit organization’s website to make an online donation or send a check in the name of the charity to the couple.

At www.IDoFoundation.org, couples register for guests to make online donations in support of any charity and much like a more traditional registry, a Charity Registry informs guests about your charitable preferences and guides their giving. When couples set up their Charity Registry, they can suggest a specific number of donation gifts or allow guests to make donations freely.

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The Herald Press

Sunday, October 23, 2011 | 3

THE PERFECT WEDDING

Couples’ letters help move ceremony to ‘deeper place’

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — The task assigned by the minister ahead of our May 1999 wedding seemed simple enough: a letter from each of us telling her why — out of all the possible people in the world — we had chosen to marry each other.

The answer, too, seemed simple: love, of course.

“But you can’t use the word love,” the Rev. Constance Redding Sidebottom said. “That makes it too easy.”

Sidebottom, 68, a retired United Methodist minister and my aunt, always asks couples for wedding letters, and is certain they have

transformative power.

“Often weddings are for show,” said Sidebottom, of Polson, Mont.

“The sacredness is removed by the glitz and the money spent.

But when couples are asked to write the letters, they often move to a deeper place. Their effort to be honest and genuine for one another is honored by God and made holy.”

Beyond the ban on the word “love,” Sidebottom has other rules about the letters, which she reads out loud during the ceremony.

Bride and groom are forbidden from sharing their letters with each other ahead of the wedding,

and Sidebottom won’t officiate without receiving them.

Over her 11 years of full-time ministry, not one person has failed to write the letter, although some have cut it close, Sidebottom said.

One groom delivered his to her door at 7 a.m. on the day he was to be married.

“Every single bride and groom says they agonize over writing the letters because they understand how important they are,” Sidebottom said.

Nearly every faith tradition has a well-scripted formula for wedding ceremonies. There are specific prayers to be offered,

        

AP

A stack of love letters beside the wooden box they are kept in at AP staffer Jennifer Dobner s home. Dobner and her husband write a love letter to each other each year and keep them all in the wooden box.

scriptural passages to be read and bring something different. vows to exchange. But the letters See LETTERS, Page 8

             

                                             

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4 | Sunday, October 23, 2011

The Herald Press

THE PERFECT WEDDING

New bridal website weighs in on honeymoon hot spots Caribbean, Mexico rate highly

STAFF WRITER

A new website for brides offers free online tools and resources to help plan every stage of a wedding.

A hassle-free wedding planning experience, 1800Registry.com bring pre-screened vendors and a personal wedding conciergeat a bride-to-be’s fingertips. Jennifer Glatt, wedding planning manager at 1-800-Registry said brides

and grooms can use their service to arrange a personalized honeymoon like none other. “We offer a honeymoon registry to have friends and family contribute to the couple’s honeymoon experience,� Glatt said. “It’s free to create the honeymoon registry and if there’s something specific they want to do on their honeymoon they can add that to their registry and friends and

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family can contribute as a wedding gift and then the couple will have the honeymoon beyond their dreams.�

The most popular honeymoon destinations on the site Glatt said include Hawaii, Fiji, Mexico and Jamaica. ď Ž Hawaii — Hawaii is safe, easy to reach from almost anywhere in the country and offers a broad range of accommodation with even budget trips being pretty nice. It’s exotic enough to satisfy most people’s desire for something different with amazing sightseeing.

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per couple you will get airfare, transfers, seven nights’ accommodations, all meals, and tons of activities. There is no tipping either, so it’s really affordable for a truly exotic honeymoon. ď Ž Mexico — The hotels in Mexico are generally low rise and luxurious. Most are all-inclusive, meaning for one price you get accommodation, all meals, all beverages, tips and lots of activities.

Mexico is also the most affordable destination. A week with airfare in a five-star hotel with everything included will run under $5,000 per couple. ď Ž Jamaica — There are a lot of amazing island nations in the Caribbean but none of the others have anywhere near the number of direct and nonstop flights.

Jamaica is a colorful place with great food, music, beaches, and lots of activities. Most hotels in Jamaica are all-inclusive as well so you know exactly what the honeymoon is going to cost you up front.

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The Herald Press

Sunday, October 23, 2011 | 5

THE PERFECT WEDDING

Travel agents say honeymoons still have a strong attraction

He said honeymoons remain amount they want for the couple,” something of a trip of a lifetime Sonenstein said.

“Probably one-third honeythat a couple will save for no With the economy in a slump, matter what the economic cir- moon couples that we help use this young people “occupying Wall cumstances. And to help ensure service,” he said. “It can help the Street” and jobless numcouple out a lot and it’s a bers still sky high, heading gift that they will definitely to Hawaii would seem want and use. It’s certainly frivolous at best. However, better than another vase  Start planning 6-8 months in advance according to local travel and it can help the couple  Make sure both agree on the location agents, it’s business as afford something nicer  Have a budget in mind usual — especially for than they may have been  Ask advice of others who have traveled honeymoons. able to do themselves.”  Use a reputable travel company Honeymoon hot spots Donna Collins, travel  Apply for passports agent at Perkins Travel in are literally all over the  Do something neither has done before New Britain, plans honeymap, according to Jeff  Consider weather, politics, exchange rates  Book least expensive room in best hotel moons and says the registry Sonenstein owner and  Use frequent flyer miles idea is a good idea. president of Globe Travel  Have realistic expectations “Some people do it and Service in Bristol. it’s certainly a good idea “People are looking all if that’s what the couple over, in the Bahamas or St. Lucia, Antigua even Europe,” that they will get a trip to remem- prefers,” she siad. “A lot of times, if Sonenstein said. “We do a lot ber forever, some couples he says they’ve lived together for a while or of cruises for honeymoons and are registering with Globe so that theirs is a second marriage then it Bermuda is another big spot for wedding guests can contribute to would make a lot of sense.” couples. Usually the couple has the trip.

For her clients, the all-inclubeen saving for this trip for a “We have cards that the wed- sive resorts in Mexico and the while and they’re looking for ding couple can send out saying Caribbean are the number one something different than most they’re registered at Globe Travel pick. These come at a set price and guests can put down whatever and include all meals, drinks and trips or vacations.”

By LIZ NEWBERG STAFF WRITER

EXPERT ADVICE IN PLANNING:

Mike Orazzi | Staff

Jeff Sonenstein of Globe Travel Service in Bristol says his honeymoon business is going full steam ahead despite a weak economy.

gratuities, so you know up front what the costs will be.

“We still see people spending a lot on their honeymoon. If finances are tight, they might go for a shorter time but generally this is something they’ve been saving for over a long time.

Cruises and Hawaii are two of

her most popular trips.

“Hawaii is always going to be a draw for people,” Collins said.

“It’s something that has a lot of cache to it as a destination, more so than going to, say, Florida. And Hawaii is in the U.S. so that makes it easy because they don’t need passports.”

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new bride, Kate, a brief kiss on the “Kiss again!� they chanted. balcony of Buckingham Palace When the two shared a slightly last spring, the crowd of thou- longer kiss, onlookers erupted in When Prince William gave his sands wasn’t satisfied. cheers.

Few other wedding kisses will ever be subjected to so much scrutiny. But there’s a lesson here: People love the wedding kiss, and they have definite opinions about how a couple should seal the deal.

Some want passion; some don’t.

Some like staged moments; others want to keep things natural.

Everyone wants the kiss to be heartfelt. “There are extreme thoughts about the kiss,� said Kristin Koch, a senior editor at the wedding Web site TheKnot.com. “Some people think it’s too public and they don’t want to do too much.

Others think, ‘This is your big The Perfect Place declaration of love!’�

Here are some tips to make For Your Special Day The Kiss cheer-worthy instead of cringe-worthy: ■Talk about it You talk through everything else about the wedding, from the guest 66 CENTRAL AVE., WOLCOTT • www.LilyLakeInn.com list to the bridesmaids’ dresses.

Call (203) 879-7000 You and your partner should talk to speak to an event coordinator or schedule a viewing about what kind of kiss you want to share, or even whether you want to share one at all. Chatting beforehand can help things go more smoothly on the big day. ■Practice It sounds silly. After all, most couples have a lot of practice kissing. But you might want to put in a little practice time, especially if you’re doing something you’re not used to, like having the groom dip the bride. ■Do something you’re both comfortable with Don’t plan a dip or any other acrobatics if you’re not sure you want to go through with it. Koch said grooms often feel more pressure than brides about the kiss, since tradition dictates that it’s something the groom initiates.

Koch says you should remember that you may already be nervous when you’re on the altar, and you don’t need the added pressure of a fantastic kiss. ■Don’t be gross Just about everyone agrees that extra-long, over-the-top displays 9>6BDC9H 6C9 ;>C: ?:L:AGN! >C8# of affection are a no-no. They can look forced and make guests 74 Farmington Ave., Bristol, CT 06010 squirm. Remember Al Gore’s long, sloppy kiss with Tipper at the 2000 Democratic National www.shannonsjewelers.com Convention?

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THE PERFECT WEDDING

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Sunday, October 23, 2011 | 7

THE PERFECT WEDDING

Social media, mobile tech on the rise for weddings

By LEANNE ITALIE ASSOCIATED PRESS

NEW YORK — As her grandfather sat pleasantly perplexed at her wedding, Lauren Barnes reached into the recesses of her strapless white gown, whipped out her iPhone and a c c e p t e d her groom’s Facebook relationship change to “married.” “ N o t h i n g ’s official,” she said, “until it’s Facebook official!”

In today’s $78-billion-ayear business of getting hitched, those wacky viral videos of whole wedding parties dancing down the aisle seem positively 2009. Social media, mobile tools and online vendors are abundant to offer the happy couple extra fun, savings and convenience, though most of the nation’s betrothed aren’t ready to

completely let go of tradition.

Some send out video savethe-dates, include high-speed scannable “QR”barcodes on invitations, live-stream their ceremonies for far-flung loved ones to watch online, and open their party playlists to let friends and families help choose the tunes.

They invite guests to live tweet the big day using special Twitter keywords, called hashtags, and create interactive seating charts so tablemates can chat online ahead of time.

One couple featured a “guest of the week” on their wedding blog. Another ordered up a cake with an iPad embedded at the base to stream photos at the reception. A third Skyped in a “virtual bridesmaid” who couldn’t make it, so she was walked down the aisle by a groomsman via iPad. According to surveys by the

Tech is on the rise in the world of weddings, with 65 percent of couples now setting up special sites.

This bride and groom had their wedding nuptials read from an iPad.

magazine sites Brides and The Knot, tech is on the rise in the world of weddings, with 65 percent of couples now setting up special sites to manage RSVPs, stream video of the ceremony andor reception, and keep guests in the loop.

One in five couples use mobile apps for planning. That includes chasing down vendors, and virtually trying on and locating dresses.

AP

Seventeen percent of couples use social media to plan, shop or register for gifts, along with sharing every detail online. About 14 percent to 18 percent of brides buy a dress online, according to Brides.

Nearly 1 in 5 couples go paperless for invitations or save-the-dates.

Many of those who have preserved the tradition of paper invites have dispensed with the inserts usually tucked inside envelopes, opting for

e-mail or Web tools for RSVPs, maps, and details on destinations or related events.

From proposals on Twitter to Foursquare check-ins from the church or honeymoon, weddings seem ready-made for social media sharing — or oversharing, depending on whether you’re invited.

Brides found that 17 percent of couples register for gifts exclusively online. Sites have popped up making it easier to combine multiple registries into one — like MyRegistry.com — and ask for cash at the same time for honeymoons or home repairs.

On invitations, some couples are using the small, square QR codes to lead guests online for additional details, and sharing photos and video on Tumblr, Flickr, Picasa or numerous other fast, free sites.

As for the Barnes and James Williams nuptials held Sept. 3 on the grounds of the Long Beach Art Museum, their officiant and friend Andrew Pachon used an iPad for the ceremony, but that and the Facebook fiddle to “married” was about it in the way of tech flourishes.

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8 | Sunday, October 23, 2011

Letters can make the difference Continued from Page 3

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Through their own words, the couple essentially writes their own sermon about life, love and their expectations for marriage, Sidebottom said.

They add a personal touch to a ceremony much like self-written vows, a trend that began in the 1960s as some couples moved away from religious tradition,

said Diane Warner, author of the “Complete Book of Wedding Vows” (New Page Books, 2006). Warner had not heard of Sidebottom’s letters, but said that, especially in stricter faiths where customized vows are discouraged, they might be a way to satisfy both clergy and the couple.

“And for those who have children, someday those letters will 260 East St. (Route 10) Cristal Commons Plainville, CT 06062 www.premierportraits.net 860.410.4303

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be a really valuable gift,” said Warner, of Tucson, Ariz.

The letters can reveal more about a couple’s individual personalities and tell the “truth about what’s really going on” between hearts, Sidebottom said.

A carpenter she married some years ago, for example, scrawled his thoughts on a bid sheet, while his bride carefully penned hers on beautiful stationery. The contrast made the congregation giggle.

Another groom, a Naval officer, compared the bride to his favorite sandwich, peanut butter and jelly.

“He said all these things about the stickiness and the sweetness and the savory, how all the right elements for a perfect dish had just happened to show up in her,” said Sidebottom, who confesses the letter is her all-time favorite.

“We couldn’t stop laughing and we couldn’t stop crying.”

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Sunday, October 23, 2011 | 9

Groom’s cakes no longer Hill Country Club just simple or Southern Indian /FXJOHUPO $POOFDUJDVU t

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The perfect cake for a groom whoÂ’s a New York Yankees fan.

AP

in the dark about the cake; other men help select it with their fiancees while choosing a wedding cake.

John Keenan wasn’t interested in having a groom’s cake for his August wedding in Baton Rouge, La., but his fiancee persisted. “We have to have something that puts you in the picture, too,� his wife, Ashley, 26, recalled telling him.

Pushed to choose, Keenan, 31, asked their baker if she could create the only design he could imagine for himself: Yankee Stadium. “I almost fell down,�

Keenan said, upon seeing the highly detailed cake. “It was more than I could have asked for.�

Being a native New Yorker in Louisiana is “such an odd thing,� Keenan said, in the drawl of a true Southerner. “The fact that I was able to put a New York twist (on the wedding) ... it was really nice.�

Like Keenan’s confection celebrating the Yankees, these cakes often highlight something that reminds a guy of home.

Patrick Delaney wanted a groom’s cake when he got married last year but was resigned to missing out when his fiancee told him they couldn’t afford one. Instead, she surprised him at their rehearsal dinner in Alexandria, Va., with a cake touting his Kansas City roots.

It was shaped as a grill, with a sizzling rack of ribs and a bottle of barbecue sauce from his favorite childhood rib joint, Gates Bar-B-Q. “I was amazed,� said Delaney, 30. “It had even more weight because most of my groomsmen and the family members I had at the rehearsal dinner were from Kansas City.�

“It’s really about the groom’s interests and his hobbies and something that’s reflective of the groom.�

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Baseball stadiums, poker chips and racks of saucy ribs don’t usually come to mind when you think “wedding.� But these manly pursuits have found their way to the dessert table through a new breed of groom’s cake that is more elaborate and personal than ever.

Traditionally a gift from the bride to her new husband, the groom’s cake was usually a simple affair, made with fruit and liquor, and perhaps chocolate. It is believed to have originated in Victorian England and arrived in the United States in the mid-19th century, where it became popular mostly in the South.

Take today’s trend of highly personalized weddings, add the fact that more grooms are involved in wedding planning, and throw in the popularity of extreme baking shows such as TLC network’s “Cake Boss,� and you’ll find that humble groom’s cakes have evolved into works of edible art.

While traditionalists still honor the groom with a plain, round cake, many couples are ordering cakes in the groom’s favorite flavor and in the shape of golf clubs, fishing gear, football helmets, smart phones, and guysnight foods like burgers, pizza and hot dogs. “It’s really about the groom’s interests and his hobbies and something that’s reflective of the groom,� said Darcy Miller, editorial director of Martha Stewart Weddings. “A wedding is about the two of them.

That’s one detail that can be all about the groom.�

After last spring’s royal wedding, at which Britain’s Prince William requested a groom’s cake made of biscuits, the popularity of the cakes among U.S. couples is likely to get another boost, Miller said. “All eyes were on that wedding,� she said. “I think (William’s) groom’s cake will definitely help inspire the growing trend here.�

Groom’s cakes originally were served at weddings. Today, they also appear at rehearsal dinners or day-after brunches. Wedding planner Tara Guerard, who owns Soiree in Charleston, S.C., urges her couples to enjoy the groom’s cake at the rehearsal dinner to give the groom a night in the spotlight, so his cake doesn’t get overshadowed by the big white one. “A lot of our grooms want this groom’s cake,� she said. “It’s really important to them.�

Women sometimes keep their grooms

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The Herald Press

THE PERFECT WEDDING

Is it possible to have too much white at a wedding?

By SAMANTHA CRITCHELL ASOCIATED PRESS

NEW YORK — Is it alright to go all white?

Of course, white is the traditional color for brides, but many of them are surrounding themselves with white way beyond a head-to-toe look. It’s more like left to right and floor to ceiling,

and everything in between. “I do love an all-white wedding,� gushes fashion designer Amsale Aberra, who uses her first name as her label. “I think it can be very beautiful.�

But, in the next breath, Aberra says the look leaves room for error, with white-wearing bridesmaids and flower girls, white flowers, white tablecloths and white can-

dles all potentially stealing the bride’s thunder. “You don’t want to need to wear the veil the whole day just to be identified as the bride,� she says.

It takes a woman with a strong personality and sense of self to remain the belle of the ball, and she needs to embrace little tools to help her shine — things like a beaded waistband on her gown

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or choosing a dress that’s just a slightly different shade of white than everyone else’s, adds celebrity wedding planner David Tutera.

Kate Middleton pulled it off at the big British royal wedding this spring, Tutera said, but even so, her sister, Pippa Middleton, got her fair share of attention in her white cowl-neck gown. “I think the royal wedding will have an influence on brides for years, even decades, to come, and Pippa Middleton’s white Alexander McQueen bridesmaid dress will most certainly be credited with sparking a trend,� says Darcy Miller, editorial director of Martha Stewart Weddings. She notes, however, that it’s a longtime tradition in Britain to have the wedding party wear white. “It ’s very striking,� Miller adds, noting that Beyonce and Kim Kardashian also opted for the color — or noncolor — scheme.

Miller says the look is sophistic ated, too — but more versatile than one might think. “The classic look of an allwhite wedding is thought of as

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Tu t e r a , who hosts WeTV’s “My Fair Wedding,� still isn’t fully sold.

When white is done right, there’s nothing better, he says, but there’s still more of a chance that something could go wrong.

There are hundreds of shades of white, from bright, blueish diamond white to a creamy, more yellowed eggshell white, he notes.

The color scheme of the wedding should all be in the same family, although not 100 percent matching, either.

Aberra encourages the warmer, richer shades, perhaps the eggshell, ivory or champagne. “That metallic white — that’s not flattering to almost anybody. A more natural white has a more pearl feel to it, it’s not harsh. I’d stay away from a harsh white, especially in the daytime, which will just look brighter and brighter.�

Seems like a lot of detail for a bride to keep track of, but Manhattan-based photographer Christian Oth says the results can be worth it.

The color scheme of the wedding should all be in the same family, although not 100 percent matching.

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White is great at a wedding, but too much can be a problem.

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Sunday, October 23, 2011 | 11

THE PERFECT WEDDING

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WEDDING CARRIAGES Wood Acre Farms

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The Lily Lake Inn

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12 | Sunday, October 23, 2011

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