Wedding Guide A checklist for wedding planning Page 4
Tips for the groom Page 6
Honoring a love one on your wedding day Page 9
Sunday, October 18, 2015
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The Aqua Turf offers a checklist of items and services you should have covered at various stages . Six months out
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∎ Order invitations ∎ Bride and groom glasses table numbers and meal choices. ∎ Gown fittings, decide on head ∎ Guestbook and pen Two days out ∎ Cake cutter pieces for bridesmaids ∎ Confirm tuxedos/accessories ∎ Have rehearsal for ceremony, ∎ Envelope gift holder ∎ Personalized matches/napkins are ordered for ushers followed by rehearsal dinner ∎ Contact the florist and order ∎ Final appointment ∎ Favors for tables ∎ Introduction sheet ∎ Final payment flowers ∎ Rent any extras for wedding ∎ Rings ordered 10% Off Wedding Pkg. with this ad ∎ Plan rehearsal dinner ∎ Make appointment to finalize READERS’ POLL menus, color of linens, details
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Grooms: Tips to Survive the Big Day STATEPOINT MEDIA
There’s an endless stream of advice out there for brides-to-be — from insights into gown trends to leads on finding the best photographer. But grooms, who are more involved than ever these days in the wedding planning process, may have their own set of worries. Being prepared can keep the pressure of the big day at bay, say experts. “Your wedding day involves hundreds of moving parts. But putting things in perspective and leaning on close friends, family and hired professionals can help you stay calm and happy,” says author Eric San Juan, whose new book, “Stuff Every Groom Should Know,” offers all the skills needed to get from “yes” to “I do.” Whether you’ve been a best man three times in the past or you’re new to the wedding game entirely, these tips from San Juan can help you survive your own big day. n Be a well-groomed groom: Go beyond your normal grooming routine. This is a once-in-a-lifetime occasion and you should look the part. Consider a manicure, ensure your suit or tux is tailored to fit you perfectly. Get a haircut, trim your nose hair. Looking impeccable on your wedding day is crucial. n Melt cold feet: Even the most laid back
guy can turn into a wreck once the reality of the big day settles in. Calm your nerves by talking to your best man, having a drink -- as in just one drink, and projecting confidence. n Essentials for your pocket: Carrying these essentials with you can help you get through the day-of emergencies: aspirin, your phone, numbers essential for the wedding (such as vendors, drivers and caterers), cash, a stain remover pen, camera, breath mints, handkerchief, lip balm, and of course, the ring. n Master the meet and greet: You can’t avoid small talk on your wedding day. Consider a greeting line so you can get all your hi-and-thank-yous over in one fell swoop. If your better half is the charming one, let her take the lead. Circulate early. The cocktail hour is the perfect time to do a quick circuit of the room. Remember, you don’t need to dwell in any one conversation. You have a built-in excuse to exit a conversation early -- “I should really make my way around the room,” -- is always a legitimate exit line. n Savor the wedding night: Avoid the after party. Allow yourselves to bask in your first hours alone together. You’ll never have this night with her again. To take an active role in making your wed-
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ding day possible, you can learn more about San Juan’s new book at www.quirkbooks. com. Still feeling nervous? “In the United
States alone, over 2.5 million guys every year manage to plan and execute one of these celebrations,” says San Juan. “Remember, you really are not alone.”
Having a dream wedding Continued from Page 2
ceilings, chandeliers, arched palladium windows and tiled floors. “We don’t like to rest on our laurels here at The Aqua Turf Club,” said Alix. “We have been around for a long time, but we always like to stay relevant to what young brides are looking for today.” Alix said the Aqua Turf Club’s website, aquaturfclub.com, provides a timetable for steps brides can take to prepare for their wedding from one year, six months and two months away from their special day. “From one year out, you are going to want to select a venue and ceremony
location,” said Alix. “You’ll also want to select your DJ, start talking to photographers, pick out your dress and get it shaped and ordered. When you get to four months, you should be scheduling fittings, starting to pick out your cake and really sitting down and going over the details. At two months you start to get down to the fine details and making sure you get responses to the invitations you sent out.” For more information, and additional wedding planning tips, call (860) 6219335 or visit aquaturfclub.com. Brian M. Johnson can be reached at (860) 973-1806 or bjohnson@bristolpress.com.
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I’m too sexy for my dress: barely there gowns hit bridal
By LEANNE ITALIE ASSOCIATED PRESS
NEW YORK — Sexy in bridal gowns isn’t new, but barely there looks have leaped off the backs of Beyonce, Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Lopez and made their way from red carpet to wedding. What about scandalizing your grandmother, priest or old Uncle Harry? Can you look good on your big day while quenching your thirst for ooh-la-la trends and appeasing the more demure gathered for your wedding? Absolutely, designers and bridal experts said. Others are more pointed: Be yourself and to heck with what anybody else thinks. Of course, we don’t all have the bodies — and lifestyles — of Bey, Kim and J. Lo at a time when attention to the body in bridal as opposed to the dress has increased. “It’s more about the body now,”
said Vera Wang, whose spring 2016 bridal lookbook is filled with sexy sheers that show all. “What we’re trying to do more is really capture a certain sense of intimacy in body language.” So how do we adapt sexy illusion looks, sheers and cutouts to our shapes, as well as to any outside pressures for a more modest approach? There’s strapless, for instance, and then there’s plunging in necklines and backs. If you’re looking to make a statement up top but need a bit more coverage for certain relatives, or the church, mosque or synagogue, add-on pieces are plentiful and a lot more stylish than they used to be, said Anja Winikka, site director for the bridal world’s TheKnot.com. “The idea that ‘it’s my rite of passage and I’ll translate a trend the way I want’ includes some
pretty sexy styles,” she said. “You can add a stole or a cardigan without spoiling your look.” Elle Strauss, fashion director for Brides magazine, urged brides who plan to plunge to pull back elsewhere. “If you’re going to do a plunging neckline, keep everything else really simple and chic,” she suggested. “The hair and makeup. You’re not necessarily going to do a full lip or too much eye makeup. The plunging component is your statement.” Designer Monique Lhuillier’s advice to brides in need of a little modesty is to think tulle. “For a modern bride with a traditional ceremony, I would recommend a tulle wrap. It will keep her a bit more covered during the ceremony, but it’s sheer, so guests will still have a sense of the dress underneath and it can be removed for the reception,” she said. A Spring Summer 2016 bridal gown by Marchesa.
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Tips on being a good maid of honor months ago. She chose her then 20-year-old sister as her maid of honor, and asked one of her best friends to organize the shower. Make the suite fun and clean On the day of the wedding, the bridal suite is home base for the bride and her bridesmaids to get ready. Have an emergency kit on hand in case she spills something, loses a button or needs a bobby pin, said Crous. “Bring some snacks,” and keep the bride and bridesmaids from drinking too much, she added.
By SOLVEJ SCHOU ASSOCIATED PRESS
Jennifer Paik, center, delivers the maid of honor wedding toast at her best friend Joo Cha’s wedding in Newport Beach, Calif.
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Jennifer Paik has been a maid of honor not once, not twice, but an impressive four times, most recently for her childhood best friend’s Newport Beach, California, yacht wedding three years ago. The hardest part of the gig, according to the 34-year-old New York City real estate consultant? Writing and delivering the maid of honor’s wedding toast. The first time she gave one of those speeches, at age 27, it was “terrible,” too improvised. She nailed it this last time, she said, by sticking to a friend’s advice: Tell stories. Her best friend loved it. “The guests could not stop laughing, and her husband still jokes that she did not shed a single tear the entire wedding except during my speech!” Paik said. Five more tips from wedding experts on how to be a good maid of honor: Support the bride While a maid of honor has many traditional duties, from helping the bride shop for a dress to organizing the bridal shower — plus holding the wedding bouquet and the groom’s ring — her main role is making sure the bride is happy. So be enthusiastic! “Even if the ideas the bride has sound horrible to you and are not your style, remember that to her they’re great,” said wedding planner Elizabeth Brandon, owner of the Los Angeles-based Wink! Weddings. “Try to take everything with a grain of salt. This day is about her.” Be a buffer Being head bridesmaid means running interference between the bride and her other bridesmaids or any meddling family members. “Be kind to your bride and help with internal squabbles among the bridesmaids,” said Yolanda Crous, features and travel director of Brides Magazine. Get together with the other bridesmaids and let everyone vent, she says. “Feel free to let loose.” On the day of the wedding, ask the bride for a list of the people with whom she’d like to interact, since she’ll be bombarded all day. If her new mother-in-law ticked her off during the week, steer her
Brandon suggested making “the best getting-ready music playlist ever.” And tidy up afterward. Keep the toast short and sweet Finally, when it comes time to hoist the champagne and toast the bride, keep it short, said Crous, and don’t embarrass her. “Don’t do the thing where you dredge up things from the bride’s past to be funny,” she said. “Humor is great! But be funny and kind. You’re better off doing something simple and emotional and from the heart.”
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Honoring a loved one during a day of celebration By LISA A. FLAM ASSOCIATED PRESS
In the days leading up to her wedding, Lauren Chertok was heartbroken. Her beloved Aunt Rosie, who taught her to make meatballs and often came over for Sunday dinners, died just two weeks before her big day, leaving her large family enveloped in sadness. “It was hard to celebrate and be so happy when everybody was mourning my aunt and grieving her,” Chertok, 24, said of her mother’s eldest sister, Rosie Van Acker, the aunt and godmother who was like Chertok’s second mom. Chertok felt that her aunt, who died on June 20 at age 76, would have wanted her to carry on. She did, marrying Josh Gutes as planned on July 5, a very happy day despite the raw pain. Still, the bride, a kindergarten teacher who lives in Nesconset, New York, felt she had to do something to represent and honor Rosie at the happy celebration of her marriage so “we didn’t forget what our family just went through.” Chertok pinned a small photo of Aunt Rosie to her bouquet, displayed a photo of the two of them from Chertok’s Sweet 16 party at the reception, and lit a candle in her honor. The 250 guests who gathered at the Larkfield in East Northport, New York, raised a glass to Aunt Rosie, and a favorite Italian song played as well. In ways big and small, many brides and grooms honor lost loved ones on their wedding day. The tributes, silent or overt or somewhere in between, are a good idea for those who are missing somebody important that day, said San Francisco wedding planner Kathryn Kalabokes. “A wedding is the one time that everyone would be there, and when you’ve lost someone, especially during the planning process, it can be very devastating,” she said. “The best thing to do is to honor them because you know that person would have been there and been a significant part of the wedding.” A tribute, though, should feel right for a celebratory day, nothing too somber or serious. “It is important to honor that person who is close to you, but maintain the positivity and look ahead to the
life change and union of two people,” said Jamie Miles, managing editor of TheKnot.com. To come up with a fitting tribute, consider your relationship with the person. What did he enjoy? What are your memories of her? “It’s all about making it a personalized remembrance and what feels right to you,” Miles said. Kalabokes said many couples are worried about bringing their guests down on what is supposed to be a happy day. She recommends talking with each other and with family members to see what everyone is comfortable with, so nobody is caught off guard. There are many ways to remember a loved one, from traditional to creative and personal. For a traditional approach, list the person’s name in the program, or dedicate a poem or reading. Light a candle in his or her honor, or have a moment of silence during the ceremony. Couples sometimes leave an empty chair, often in the front row
with a flower on top, as a tribute. A popular reception tribute is the display of photos of departed relatives. A loved one’s special cooking creation, say chocolate chip cookies, can be served with dessert or handed out as a favor. Or, couples can make a charitable donation in the person’s honor instead of a favor. For a more subtle tribute, a bride may stitch a memento under her gown, such as a piece of her mother’s wedding gown, or wear a loved one’s garter. Wearing keepsake jewelry or cuff links from departed relatives keeps them close. Or include a beloved flower, even a favorite color, in the bridal bouquet. One bride who lost her mom about 18 months before her wedding released butterflies after the ceremony, and used a butterfly motif on printed items and the cake, said Kalabokes, owner of Dream a Little Dream Events. AP “Everyone knew the mother loved A framed photograph of Chertok and her late Aunt Rosie Van Acker, who butterflies,” she said. “It was her died two weeks before her wedding. Chertok displayed the photograph of the two of them taken at Chertok’s Sweet 16 party at the wedding reception. thing.”
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Giving a nod to family traditions
AP
Han, left, and Calum Stuart wearing traditional clothing from their native countries for their wedding reception in Dunblane, Scotland.
It’s easy to blend past with present for weddings By MELISSA RAYWORTH ASSOCIATED PRESS
Your wedding day? It’s “your” day. It’s all about you. Your wedding day? Your mother has been planning it since the day you were born. It can be challenging to celebrate your unique romance while somehow pleasing — or at least not alienating — your relatives. Do you plan the traditional ceremony and reception that your family might recommend (what’s wrong with a poufy white gown and platters of prime rib?) or do you break the mold, and perhaps some hearts, by doing something completely different? Fortunately, today’s trend toward personalized weddings can make it easier to blend past and present for couples willing to get creative. Five ways to bring some family tradition into your wedding while staying true to your vision for the day: The religious (or not so religious) ceremony
Your parents may prefer a more (or less) religious ceremony, or they may expect a different religious tradition to be the focus of the day. Some brides and grooms have found ways to straddle the line by incorporating
religious traditions sensitively and selectively. “Religious elements are always the greatest sign of respect for your elders and family,” says California-based wedding planner Deborah Moody. “You can bring in that cultural, historic part of who you are,” she says, without having a fully religious wedding ceremony. Britni de la Cretaz and her husband, Ben, opted to get married in a Cambridge, Massachusetts, restaurant rather than at a synagogue. But after researching the meaning of the chuppah, the Jewish wedding canopy, they decided to include one in their ceremony. They also signed a ketubah, a Jewish marriage contract, but opted for a secular, humanist text in English that spoke of their mutual commitment.
Christy Cates plans to honor her deceased parents in a similar way at her upcoming wedding. She is choosing a new gown that she likes, but “I have the lace from my mother’s dress and a piece of my father’s shirt that I am going to have sewn into my dress,” she says. Both pieces are heart-shaped.
wore a white gown for their ceremony and changed into a Peranakan kebaya gown from her native Singapore for the reception. “I wasn’t brought up Peranakan myself,” she says, “but because I’m really close to my granddad, it felt right. My bridesmaids had the regular ‘Western’ gowns, but Peranakan brooches and jewelry.” Beyond dresses and jewelry, Moody, who is executive director of the Association of Certified Professional Wedding Consultants, also encourages clients to bring family history into the reception through decorative fabrics. Consider using white tablecloths with table runners made from a traditional fabCates and her fiance, William ric that echoes your heritage, she says. Russell, also designed their own Family0inspired foods engagement ring, but used a stone belonging to his mother and added Traditional foods or family recithe same engraving that her parents pes can be incorporated into part of put on their wedding rings: Eternal the reception without dominating Love. the event: think small bites during “I love that it’s a new family heir- cocktail hour, on a dessert table or loom,” she says. even as a midnight snack to keep the Kirsten Han and her husband, party going. Calum Stuart, celebrated their very “My grandmother, who I was modern, global relationship by mar- incredibly close to, was a major chocrying in a cathedral in his native oholic. So we had nice chocolates Scotland. He wore a kilt, while she on all the tables and served a choc-
Traditional foods or family recipes can be incorporated into part of the reception without dominating the event.
Your style
Melanie Tannenbaum Hepler was just 3 when her grandmother died, leaving her a necklace to be worn on her wedding day. Hepler loved the sentiment, but the necklace wasn’t her style. Her mother suggested having the pendant sewn inside Hepler’s gown for her wedding on Long Island, New York, in 2014.
olate cake,” says Julia Moss, who got married last month in southern California. To honor her grandfather, a baker who “made the world’s best banana cream pie, we gave little jars of banana cream pudding to all our guests.” Honoring lost loved ones
There are many ways to honor loved ones who have died: pictures set in empty chairs, charms of remembrance on the bouquet, poetry readings. Rebecca Bridge chose a venue in the Smokey Mountains to honor her deceased mother, who loved the area. Her ceremony, while not traditionally religious, included the Lord’s Prayer to honor her mom and fiance Mike Pantoliano’s deceased grandparents. Serena Markstrom Nugent’s creative approach to honoring deceased loved ones at her wedding in Eugene, Oregon: “We made angel wings and wrote the names of the people they represented on them,” she says. “We gave the wings to people who were closest to the departed and asked them to save a seat for them. The wings were designed to rest over the back of the chairs and pews as though someone with wings were sitting there.”
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Sunday, October 18, 2015 | 11
Succulents lend rustic, elegant chic to modern weddings By SARAH WOLFE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Succulents are showing up everywhere in the world of weddings, from bouquets and boutonnieres to centerpieces and even take-home favors. They’re dainty yet hardy, and come in a surprising array of colors and textures. Best of all, they’re eco-friendly and can be replanted at home after your nuptials as a reminder of the special day. “Succulents add a modern look,” says Viva Max Kaley, a New Yorkbased wedding planner. “Instead of pretty petals, it’s a cool geometric use of lines. My clients tend to gravitate toward that aesthetic, so it’s been a really popular choice.” Robbin Watson, a 27-year-old living in Boston who is getting married in Connecticut next July, is using succulents to add a pop of dusty blue and mint green to her cream-colored bridal and bridesmaid bouquets. But while she loves their aesthetic, succulents are more of a sentimental choice for her. “I lived on the West Coast for a few years with my fiancé, where succulents are very prevalent. Not so much in the New England region, where I live now,” Watson says. “To bring a little West Coast into my wedding ceremony, I thought succulents would be a great way to incorporate my memories of living in San Diego.” Bridal bouquets
Boutonnieres and centerpieces
Succulents can feel like a more “masculine” floral accent and have become a popular choice for boutonnieres as a result, says Anastasia Stevenson, a wedding planner and founder of the website How to DIY Wedding. They’re sturdy and can stand up to the rigors of being pinned to a jacket
that’s tossed about all day. Succulents make good corsages for the same reason. Cassard used a mix of small, rosette-shaped succulents and wild grasses for rustic-yet-elegant boutonnieres, sprinkling the plants throughout her reception area that night as table centerpieces and cake accents. Rosette-shaped Echeverias like those Cassard used work well as centerpieces because they can grow up to a foot in diameter, according to Prinzing. Other uses
How about succulents as jewelry? Wiring and flower glue are keys to this recent bridal trend, which includes everything from rings and necklaces to bracelets and headpieces, says Prinzing. Other couples have said their vows before a wall of succulents or used them as eco-friendly wedding favors — a parting gift that’s “unlikely to be tossed in the trash when the guests arrive home,” says New York-based wedding-trends expert and editor Anne Chertoff. And succulents aren’t just for people. AP “I know of one creative design- A tea cup wedding favor makes use of succulents for decoration. er who offers floral dog collars for her wedding parties,” Prinzing says. “Succulents are ideal for this situation Zapraszamy! Mówimy po Polsku because they withstand canine activities that are probably more lively than • BriDal Bouquets a groom or bride’s movements during • Center pieCes • CHurCH a ceremony.”
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Bouquets like Watson’s are the most obvious and popular way to use succulents in weddings. Debra Prinzing, Seattlebased author and founder of the eco-conscious floral directory site SlowFlowers.com, says the trend has been popular among California brides for years but has really taken off thanks to social media sites like Pinterest and Instagram. Demand for drought-hardy succulents in the gardening world has also made these once hard-to-find plants readily available year-round
across the U.S., and at a cheaper price than more traditional wedding flowers like roses and peonies. Taylor Cassard, a 27-year-old nursing student in Montana, used a variety of light green rosette-shaped succulents from the Echeveria family in her bouquet for a rustic yet modern look when she got married at a guest ranch in Big Sky this summer. “They were absolutely gorgeous and mixed so nicely with the other flowers to create a soft natural look,” says Cassard, who planted some of the succulents post-ceremony in metal buckets used by her flower children. Many wedding florists recommend sprinkling succulents among traditional flowers rather than creating an all-succulent bouquet, which can get heavy and bulky-looking. The plants’ vibrant green and sometimes purple colors pair especially well with jewel tones, burgundy and apricot shades. According to Prinzing, succulents are a particularly nice complement to dahlias, hydrangeas, lilies, orchids, roses and spring bulb flowers.
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12 | Sunday, October 18, 2015
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