Thelastmonth oftheyear!Holy hell!Howhasthis happenedalready? Thelastmonthofthe year2024.Itseems entirelysurrealthat weareevenatthis junctureinlife. I meanreally,2025 isjustrightaround thecorner,and notsomethingin theunforeseeable distantfutureany longerlikeitseemed tobegrowingup. Showsmyageabit Isuppose,buteven thatIdon’trightly careabout. Ihave earnedthesegrayhairs.Ihaveearned thesewrinkles.Ihaveearnedthese creakingjoints.Ihaveearnedthis cynicism.Ihavebeenlivingthebest lifethatIcanandamhappyashell tostillbeherewritingtoeachoneof youeverymonth,andalwayslooking forwardtothenext.Ithankthosethat havebeenapartofourjourneyover thepastdecadeandahalfwiththe magazine,andevenlongerwithlife.
decades,andthat Ihavechosenthe rightpathanddoing whatIfeelisbest formeandthoseI careabout.Ifyou watchedit,thanks,if youwantto…look itup.
Ideeplyappreciatebeingapartoffew different“communities”thatmeanthe worldtome.Emergencyresponse, weaponsandhunting,motorcycles, fundamentalrightsmovements, amongotherthingsthatIhavehad myhandsinovertheyears,arealla partofwhoIamandwhatIdo.This wasmadeevenmoreevidenttome afterhavinganinterviewwithGinger withTheBikerLawyersrecently. Theyinvitedmeovertothestudiototalkaboutsomestuff aboutmotorcycles,rights,weapons,andotherthings.Steve recordedGingerandIhavingourchat,andtheneditedit andpostedontheirsocialmediaaccountsrecently.You canfinditonFacebookifyousearchTheBikerLawyers, P.C.,andthenscrolldowntoseeashotofGingerandI oncamera,Ishareditaswellonourpages.Itmademe realizethathardworkanddedicationdopayoff,anditis nicetoseethatonvideo,Iguess.Itgavemeaprofound senseofprideinwhatIhavebeendoingwithmylifefor
Iamevergratefulas wellforthefarless amountsofpolitical emails,calls,and commercials.I hopethatwecanall burythehatchets, metaphorically speakingofcourse. Ihopethateachone ofyouthatcould votedidso.Idon’tcarehowyou voted,justthatyoudidvote. Iknow thatsomefeelthattheywon,some feelthattheylost,andIamsurethere ismorebullshitthatwewilldealwith inthefuturepolitically,butIwould hopethatwecannotasmuchworry aboutleftnorright,butheadstraight upthemiddletogether. Ourfuture mightsureashelldependondoing justthat. Onwardandupward!
Ihaveafavortoaskofourloyal readersaswell.Weareworking onpopulatingtheeventlistingfor 2025,andwehavequiteafewevents already,butweneedthemtokeep pouringintogetaddedtothelist. Pleaseemailyoureventsthatare knownandconfirmedtovernon@ thunderroadsiowa.com.Weneedthe dateoftheevent,thenameofthe event,andthestartinglocationtown. Pleasesendthemsowecangetthemaddedtothelistas soonaspossible.Wethankyouinadvance!
WewouldliketowisheveryoneaMerryChristmas,anda HappyNewYear!
Keepdreamingofthenextridingseason!Besafe!
VernonSchwarte vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
ProudEditor/OwnerThunderRoadsMagazineofIowa
OwnerThunderGunsandThunderGunsWest
IMDABoardMember
MRFIowaAssistantStateRep
COCLiaison
NCOIRStateofIowaRepresentative
QuoteoftheMonth:“Theroadisthere;itwillalwaysbe there.Youjustmustdecidewhentotakeit.”
ChrisHumphrey
WejustreturnedfromourCMAnationalrallyinthe beautifulOuachitaMountainsofArkansas. Therallyis anannualeventcalledChangingoftheColors.Ofcourse, KarlahasrenameditChangingoftheWeatherforthe obviousreasonthatwehaveexperienceditgoingfrom 80to30degreesandfrombeautifulsunshinetodaysof torrentialdownpoursandfrostonthewindshields.Even thelocalshaveobservedthatwhenCMAcomestotown, theybringtherain.Thisyeartherewere2,500CMA’ers fromalloverthecountrywhichseemedlikeagoodturnout, thoughwithnextyearbeingCMA’s50thanniversaryand aninternationalrallyitshouldreallybepacked.Besidesthe normalattendeestherewillberepresentativesfrommanyof the39othercountrieswehavechaptersin.
Forthisyear’srallyIbitthebulletandleftthebikebehind. IdecidedtotaketheATVaswehavemilesoftrailsthat Ihavealwayswantedtoridebutneverexperienced.The addedadvantageofbeingabletoputtaroundthe160acres wehaveatourcampgroundswasalsoafactor.OK,the lazinessfactoritis.Whatablasttorideallthetrailsthrough thepinesandgettospendmoretimeonthemountain visitingwithothermembersaswellasallthevendors. Oneafternoonwhileperusingvendorrowandeating funnelcakes,Chinesefoodandanythingelsethatcouldn’t getaway,IwaspleasedtoseethatTexasSidecarhada boothsetup.IteventurnedoutthatKentSilks(whoowns TexasSidecarandrecentlypurchasedDMCSidecars)was workingthetable.IpurchasedausedDMCsidecarfrom C&CCycleinChariton(forthedogsofcourse,)buthave struggledwithgettingthesetupcorrect.Wehavedialedit in,addedaVWsteeringstabilizer,tightenedneckbearings, evenrakedthefrontend.Whilewehavemadesome headway,westillhavenoteliminatedallthenastylowspeedwobble.Kentwasveryhelpfulwithsuggestionsfor asolution,andIwentawayencouragedwemightbeable tosuccessfullyadjustthispersnicketycritter.Ihadwalked twoboothsfurtherwhenIranintoBobChippfromC&C whooriginallysoldmethedog’ssidehack,soIsnaggedhim anddrughimdowntoTexasSideCarstocomparenotes withKent.Whataprecipitousmeeting,havingbothofthem together.Hopespringseternalinthebreastofthebiker, right?
Next,Ineedtofigureouthowtogetbothdogstoride togetherwithoutfighting,jumpingout,orinBram’scase, pushinglittleTeddytheUsurperoutintooncomingtraffic. BramisconvincedthatthepurposeofTeddy’swhole existenceistomakehislifemiserable.Teddydefinitely seemstobeonthatmission,waggingalltheway,though heisawfullycute.Wefinallycametotheconclusionthe otherday(duringwhatseemedlikeatleastround15of theircurrentbrawl)thattheygetalonginthepentogether butit’swhentheyareoutandhaveaccesstoalltheirtoys thattheready-to-rumbletypemayhembegins.We’dtried separatingthem,triedlockingthemup,andfinallydecided toexperimentwithtakingthetoysaway.Amazingly,their attitudeschangeddramatically.Gofigure.
Ithenbegantoepiphamize(noticehowIcanimproveon theEnglishlanguagebymakingwordsup?).Anyway,it struckmethatwithallourpossessions,toys,andpursuits, howmuchwemustbethatwaywithGod.Areweso distractedandselfishthatwemissoutonthepeaceand contentmenthehasforus? Sadly,Iseemyselfinthat
example againand again.With theconstant bombardment society throwsatus, it’shardto stayfocused andkeepour WANTERS incheck.In theBible, theapostle Paulshares thathelearnedthesecretof beingcontentineverysituation. What’sreallyastonishingis thatthisistheguywhowas repeatedlywhipped,stoned, shipwrecked,tossedintheopen sea,harassedbyenemies,and betrayedbyfalsebrothers.Most ofusthinkourdayisallmessed upbyawrongcoffeeorderor missingphonecharger.
Thereisanon-biblicalstoryof akingwhosufferedfromapainfuldisease.Hiscounselors advisedhimthattheonlycurewastofindacontented man,gethisshirtandwearitnightandday.Thekingsent messengerstofindsuchaman.Theysearchedhighandlow andaftermonths,returnedemptyhanded.Thekingasked them,“Didyounotfindsuchaman?” “Yes,Oking,we foundonlyoneinallthyrealm.” “Thenwhydidyounot bringbackhisshirt?”thekingdemanded. “Sire,theman hadnoshirt.”
Justlikethemanwithnoshirt,Pauldiscoveredthatthe indwellingpowerofthespiritofChristsuppliedhimwith strength,grace,contentment,andallheneedednomatter whatlifethrewhisway. Whetherinneedorinabundance hecouldbeatpeace.PaultoldTimothy,“Butgodlinesswith contentmentisgreatgain,forwebroughtnothingintothe world,andwecantakenothingoutofit.” 1Corinthians tellsus,“Donotbeanxiousaboutyourlife,whatyouwill eatorwhatyouwilldrink,noraboutyourbody,whatyou willputon.Isnotlifemorethanfoodandthebodymore thanclothing?Ifourheavenlyfatherfeedsandcaresforthe birdsoftheairandtheflowersofthefield,certainlyHewill takecareofus,Histreasuredchildren.”
Iwanttobeabletorideinthissidecaroflifewithout constantbickeringandstrife.
Blessings,Mark
P.S.Theelectionresultsarein.Thankyou,Lord,foryour mercy. Letusnotsquanderitortakeitforgranted.
MarkandKarlaCornickarewiththeChristian MotorcyclistsAssociation.FindoutmoreaboutCMAand God’splanforyouatwww.cmausa.org
eBikerFriendlyBusinessDirectory isalistofestablishmentsthroughout Iowathatsponsorthemagazine. You canpickupyourcopyhereevery month. Letthemknowthatyousaw theminTRMI.Ifyourbusinesswould liketoadvertiseinunderRoads IowaBikerFriendlyBusinessListing andbecomeapartofthenetwork, pleaseemail vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
HeartlandHarley-Davidson 117SRooseveltAve Burlington,IA52601 319-754-1100
www.heartlandhd.com
IndianMotorcycleofMasonCity MasonCityPowersports 12499265thStreetMasonCity 641-423-3181
Crispy’sBikerApparel CedarRapids,Iowa FindUsOnFacebook
DirtyBikerDesign
61WWashingtonStreet Winterset,Iowa50273 www.DirtyBikerDesign.com 515-444-9050
Desperados 105E5th StreetAtlantic 712-243-7087
Masoncitypowersportsinc.com
MetroHarley-Davidson 2415WestdaleDriveSW CedarRapids,Iowa52404 319-362-9496
USAFluid.Com
641-745-9360
HomeofColdBeer, GoodTimes,Pizza&Wings
FlamingOffice 201WHighStreetToledo 641-484-2255
NorthsideRec 511MainStreet
CoonRapids,Iowa50058 (712)999-2337
FindusonFacebook
www.metro-motorsports.com
Route65Harley-Davidson 1300SJeffersonWay Indianola,Iowa50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net
VoiceOnly,NOTEXT TalktoFready BaxterCycle 3114th Street Marne,Iowa51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com
OutdoorPatio,HappyHour5-7 FlamingOfficeonFacebook&Google
HaverhillSocialClub 2021stStreet Haverhill,Iowa50120 641-475-3321
PapaJoe’s 117South6th Street MissouriValley,Iowa51555 712-642-9015
PearlStreetSocialClub 110PearlStreetSW Shellsburg,Iowa52332 319-436-7100
FindUsOnFacebook!
StormLakeHonda 3040ExpansionBlvd StormLake,Iowa50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460
BigBarnHarley-Davidson 81NW49thPlace DesMoines,Iowa50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net
EdwardsMotorsportsandRV’s 101034thAvenue
ClosedMon-Tues,4-MidniteWed-Thur-Fri, 10-MidnightSat,11-MidnightSunday
IowaLegendaryRye 707NMainStreet Carroll,Iowa51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com
Just1More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309Railway Jamaica,Iowa50128
BookEmDano’s 33SMainStreet Denison,Iowa51442
712-263-9818Mon-Sat4-2
DancersNightly5-1:30
McCannsTap NE14th&54th DesMoines,Iowa50313 BikeParking M-F2:00-2S-S11:00-Close
CouncilBluffs,Iowa51501 712-366-8400 fullthrottleia.com
Ambro’sRoadhouse 917GuthrieStDeSoto,Iowa50069 515-468-2236
Harley-DavidsonofCarroll 1327PlazaDr Carroll,Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com
GreatFood! Ambro’sRoadhouseonFacebook
Cat shCharlie’s OntheMississippiRiver 1630E.16thStreetDubuque,IA52001 (563)582-8600 www.Cat shCharliesDubuque.com
MiCasaFamilyRestaurant 512MarketStreet Harlan,Iowa51537 712-755-2258
EnjoyDrinksattheFullBar!
MidwayTavern 2061st Street Soldier,Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com
MontgomeryStreetPub 207EastMontgomeryStreet Creston,Iowa50801 641-782-2165
RiversideTavern 450EMainSt Lehigh,Iowa50557 515-359-9998
Email:riversidetap@gmail.com
ShootoutSaloon 3571310thStDexter
1MileWestofBonnie&ClydeShootout 712-249-0041
SecludedBarintheWoods
Sidetracked 206WestUnionStreet Creston,Iowa50801 641-782-8534
Stumpy’sBar&Grill 423MainStreet Duncombe,Iowa50532 515-543-4222
Stumpy’sBar&GrillonFacebook
eTalkShopLounge 3357St.CharlesRD SaintCharles,Iowa50240 515-333-4626
eTalkShopLoungeonFacebook
eExchange 171SElmStreet Avoca,Iowa51521 712-343-2609
Lang’sPizza,ColdBeer,Sports
eYankeeClipper
312SWMapleSt Ankeny,Ia50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com
Vic’sMainTap 304Broadway Audubon,Iowa50025 712-563-2122
OpensM-F2-Close,Sat9-Close, Sun2-Close
underGunsWest 1101ChatburnAveSTE103 Harlan,Iowa51537 712-235-2632
FindusonFacebook
WesternIowaIce 514EastStreet Shelby,Iowa51570 402-681-6521
IceDeliveredtoYourLocation
Wilson’sTapandRecreation 1008StoryStreet Boone,Iowa50036/ 515-433-1395
TreasureIslandDiecast/Facebook HotWheels,M2,Matchbox,Jada Ertl,Lightning,Harley,Maisto Buy-Sell-Trade 641-521-8036rayaustinhd@gmail.com www.treasureislanddiecast.com
eBikerLawyers.com eBikerLawyers,P.C. Riding&DefendingYour RightsforOver30Years 877-209-9452
UllrichPhotography POBox1842 Clinton,Iowa52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com
MeanMachineCycles Elkhart,Iowa50073
Custom&Full-ServiceHDRepair Mon-Fri9-6,Satbyapptonly 515-367-7336
StateFarm ClarkAhrenholtz,Agent 211412thStreetHarlan,Iowa 712-755-5724
Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com
underGuns 2014thAve Portsmouth,Iowa51565 712-249-5630 FindusonFacebook
MotorcycleMedic 3176Highway30 Woodbine,Iowa51579 712-647-2818
OpenTues-Fri9-6,Sat8-12
NelsonMachine&Forge GeneralMachining,Ornamental Iron,Weld/Fab 70WashingtonStreet Marne,Iowa51552 712-781-2220
HupyandAbrahamsc,pc LawyersforBikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com
Butter eld’sM.C.Parts 8025BlondoStreet Omaha,NE68134 402-391-3768
Chuck’sCycleServiceandRepair S&SandDragSpecialtiesDealer 307E5thStreetWashington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278
RoadRageBikeWorks 401HighStreet Avoca,Iowa51521 712-307-6111
RoadRageBikeWorksonFacebook
eBikerFriendlyBusinessDirectoryisalistofestablishments throughoutIowathatsponsorthemagazine. Youcanpickup yourcopyhereeverymonth. Letthemknowthatyousawthemin TRMI.IfyourbusinesswouldliketoadvertiseinunderRoads IowaBikerFriendlyBusinessListingandbecomeapartofthe network,pleaseemail vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
CycleClinic 2209MLKingPkwy DesMoines,Iowa50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954
F&JRacing 701N3rd Ave Marshalltown,Iowa50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com
underRoadCycles 4106RockinghamRd Davenport,Iowa52802 563-323-3172
underRoadCyclesonFacebook LacaeyseTrailerSales 4192HWY146Grinnell Trailers&TruckAccessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com
The God Complex
IrememberbackwhenIwasingrade schoolormiddleschoolthatacommon insultwe’dusetomakeafriend,orfoe, irritatedwastocallthema“testtube baby.” Thiswouldimplythattheydidn’t reallyhaveparentsandwerenothing morethanalabexperiment. Usually thiswasunderstoodthattheperson issuingtheinsultwasimplyingthatthe experimentwenthorriblywrong.
Atesttubebaby,forthoseofyouthat aren’tversedinthisprocess,isahuman babythatis“conceived”byfertilizing aneggfromawomanwithsperm fromamaninapetridish. Oncethe fertilizationprocessisconfirmed,theegg istransferredtothewoman’suterus. This processiscalledIn-VitroFertilization (IVF);aprocessthathashelpedcountless womenthathadn’tbeenabletoconceive achildthroughnaturalmeans. Thisis trulyoneofthegreatthingsthatscience hasbeenabletoachieveinthecourseof humanhistory.
Thefirsttest-tubebabybornwasagirlin Julyof1978. Shewentontoliveafull lifeandgavebirthtoasonin2006;he wasconceived100%naturally.
Quotedfromanarticle,“Scientistssaythesemodelembryos, whichresemblethoseintheearlieststagesofhuman development,couldprovidea crucialwindowontheimpactof geneticdisordersandbiological causesofrecurrentmiscarriage. Thesestructuresdonothavea beatingheartorthebeginningsof abrainbutincludecellsthatwould typicallygoontoformtheplacenta, yolksacandtheembryoitself.”
Fastforwardto2023andwefindthat science,likealways,couldn’tjustsolveanissueandthen moveontoanotherrealissue,theyhadtofindouthowfar theycouldpushtheDr.Frankenstein’sLaboratory. Nowthey havecreatedsynthetichumanembryosusingstemcellsthat sidestepstheneedforeggsorsperm.
Great,sonowwe’regettingcloser tobeingabletohaveadesigner childtogoalongwithyourdesigner handbag? Forgettingallthepossible legalissuesofalabgrownhuman, whatabouttheethicalissues? I’m notareligiousperson,butwhat’s upwiththis“GodComplex”these peopleseemtohave?
Now,withthatsaid,Iwillplaythe Devil’sadvocateandsaythatthe articledidgoontosaythatatthis pointitwouldbeillegaltoimplant theembryointoapatient’swomb. Itisalsonotyetclearwhether thesestructureshavethepotential tocontinuematuringbeyondthe earlieststagesofdevelopment. So,afullydevelopedandbirthed babyisn’tlikelytohappen. Legally,scientistsareonlyableto cultivatethisembryofornomore than14days,whichgivesthemtimetomoreeasilystudy theearliestpartofthedevelopmentprocess. Thestudyof laterdevelopmentiscompletedusingpregnancyscansand “donatedembryos”,whichIamgoingtoassumemeans donatedfromoutsidesourceslikehospitalsandclinicsthat performabortions(thearticledidn’tclarifythistopic).
GrowingupIheardaboutandwatchedmany moviesabouthumancloning. It’sbeena topicofmuchcontroversysinceitwasfirst introducedasavalidfieldofstudy. Reading informationontheNationalHumanGenome ResearchInstitute’s(NHGRI)website,Ifind thatitisfullsteamaheadinthelabsaroundtheworld.
Therearethreedifferenttypesofartificialcloning;gene cloningwhichproducescopiesofgenesofsegmentsofDNA, reproductivecloningthatproducescopiesofwholeanimals andtherapeuticcloningthatproducesembryonicstemcells forexperimentsaimedatcreatingtissuestoreplaceinjuredor diseasedtissue.
Overthelast50years,scientistshavesuccessfullycloned mice,cows,sheep,chickens,acat,adog,deer,ahorse,a mule,anox,arabbit,arat,andarhesusmonkey.However, despiteseveralhighlypublicizedclaims,humancloningstill appearstobefiction. We’llhavetorelyonHollywoodto keepourbrainsfedwiththatfantasyfornow.
Throughoutthelastdecade,scientistshavebeenhelping keepPETAatbaywiththeprocessoflab-grownmeats. Culturedmeat,alsoknownascellularagriculture,isatype ofmeatproducedbycultivatinganimalcellsinacontrolled laboratoryenvironment,ratherthanraisingandslaughtering animals.Justthinkofallthecowfartsthatwillbeeliminated ifwejustgrowmeatinapetri-dish. Andmaybethiswillalso getAOCtofinallyshutup?
Inthesameveinaslab-grownmeats,wealsohavestem cell-basedproductsthathavebeenmakingtheirwayintothe mainstream. 3Dprintedmeat;anediblerenderingofameatlikeproductcreatedfromanadditivemanufacturingprocess. Muchlike3Dprintingplasticpartsonyourcomputerdesk athome,wenowhavecompanieslikeGoodMeat,operating underthefoodcompanyEatJust,printingchicken,Revo FoodsinAustriaprintingplant-basedseafoodproducts,Aleph FarmsinIsraelprintingribeyesteaks,OsakaUniversity inJapanprintingWagyubeef,ShiokMeatsinSingapore withshrimpdumplings,SteakholderFoodsalsoworking onWagyubeefproducts,andRedefineMeatthatoffersa purelyplant-basedproductlineoftenderloins,roast,andfilet mignon.
Iunderstandthethoughtprocessbehindthesecreationsonly inthesensethatthesepeopleeither100percentbelievethe
climatecrisisagendaorthattheyarebeingcompensated handsomelyto“believe”theclimatecrisisagenda. Either way,Idon’tbelievethatIwillever,knowingly,ingestanyof theseproducts.Maybetheseproductswillbeperfectedand bethemainstreamandthebasicstaplesofsustenanceinthe future,butI’mhopingI’llbeabletoenjoyarealcow-based steakfortherestofmylife.
Puttingasidethe“savetheplanet”rhetoric,let’sfocuson thenaturalorderoflife. Asstatedearlier,I’mnotareligious person,butIdoknowthehistoryofthebiblicalteachings.I doknowthehistoryofhumankind. Iunderstandthecircleof lifeandhoweverythingontheplanetfitsintoit. So,Ihaveto questionthelevelofnarcissism,thelevelofself-grandiosity, thegodcomplexthatpeoplehaveachievedthatmakesthem believethattheyshouldredefinethatnaturalorderoflife.
OneofthebiggestconcernsIhavewiththeselab-grown, artificiallycreatedfoodproductswascoveredintheApril‘24 editionofmyUselessRamblings,“GeneticallyModified.” Thesescientistscreateandgeneticallymodifyournatural grownfoodsourcesandhavebeendoingsoforquitea while. Whatgeneticmodifiersarebeingincorporatedinto theseproducts? WhatwillbeimplantedintotheDNAof theseproducts,likethegeneticallymodified,vaccineinfused lettucethatGlaxoSmithKlineandMedicagotalkedabout intheirpiecetitled,“Firstplant-basedcoronavirusvaccine shows‘positive’results.”
Whyareweallowingourselvestobepoisoned? Howdid webecomesolazyandcomplacentthatwewillinglyaccept whatpassesforfoodinthiscountry? Doyouhaveanyidea howmanyU.S.foodproductshavebeenbannedbyother countriesbecauseofthecrapthattheFDAhasallowedus toingest? Thatnumberisalmostimpossibletocalculate becausetherearetoomanyproductsthatincludeone,or more,ofthe36+baseingredientsthatothercountrieshave banned.
We,meaningthehumanrace,havespentourentireexistence attemptingtobendtheplanet,nature,andthenaturalorderto ourwill. Weattempttomakeoursurroundingsfitthehuman race,thenwearesurprisedwhenitbendsbackandslapsthe shitoutofus. Howmanynaturaldisastersaretheresultof ourownarroganceandstupidity? Orapossibletopicfora futurediscussion,howmanynaturaldisastersweremanmade onpurpose?
Nowthattheelectionisoverandwehaveanew administrationcominginsoon,I’mreallyhopingthatthe slogan“MakeAmericaHealthyAgain”actuallycomesto fruition. There’sbeentalkofrevampingtheFDA(Foodand DrugAdministration)togetallthesetoxinsremovedfrom ourfoodandmedicines. It’stimetocleanupwhatweingest ifweeverhopetobetrulyhealthy.
It’salsotimewestopattemptingtocontrolwhatcannotbe controlled. Noamountofnarcissismorarroganceisgoingto makethisplanetdowhatwewantittowithoutsomekindof repercussions.
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DavidMcCoy - david@thunderroadsiowa.com - FaceBook.com/TRMIDave - FaceBook.com/TRMINSUR
511MainStreet
CoonRapids,IA50058
(712)999-2337
Monday:CLOSED
Tuesday-ursday:4pm-10pm
Friday&Saturday:2pm–2am
Sunday:2pm-10pm
WehadjustspentpartofaSundayaernoonworkingup an appetitecheckingoutafriend’samazingcarcollection withBradandStacey,whenthethoughoccurredthatwe hadyettotrytherecentlyrevampedNorthsideRec. Wehad eyeballedthevariouslibationsandmenuofferingson the bookoffaces,butbeingsocloseonthatsunnyaernoon, therewasjustnowaywecouldevenconsidernotstopping.
Wewalkedinshortlyaeropeningat2andchoseahightop tablenearthemiddle. As soonas wesatdown,Jalayne wasreadytotakeourdrinkorders. erewereseveralinteresting optionsofuniquemixeddrinks, andshegraciouslyansweredallof ourquestionsaboutthem. Vernon, Stacey,andIallordered adelicious smokeywhiskeyBloodyMary,while Bradoptedforadelicious rumbased pinkdrink. Wedecided thatwewere onamissiontotryeverythingon themenu,butquicklyrealized that mighthavetohappenovermore thanonevisit.
perfectlysaltypastrami.erewasalsoaservingofcrisp kettlechipstogowiththetastysandwich. Wealsoordered a14-inchDeluxeHawaiianpizza. ecrustwasthinand crisp,withjusttherightamountofchewiness. Redsauce coatedthebaseofthepieand thengenerousportionsof Canadianbacon,pineapple,bacon(theDeluxepart)anda wonderful4cheeseblendtoppedthepizza. Itwaspiping hotandmouthwateringwithanimpressivecheesepull! Staceyordereda7-inchSweetChiliChicken pizza. Atopthe samemouthwateringcrustwasaheapingportionoftender whitemeatchicken,sweetchilisauce,and4cheeseblend. Bradordereda7-inchversionofthePhillyCheesesteak pizza. isamazingpiewasloadedwithsliveredsweet peppers,steak,mushrooms,redonions,4cheeseblend,and an additionalportionofgooeyMontereyjackcheese.Itwas genuinelytoohardtochooseafavoritemenuitemfrom whatweorderedonourvisit,butIcantellyouthis forsure. Wewillbeback,andwewillbetryingmoreitemsfromthe menu.
OurvisittoCoonRapidsandtheNorthsideRecwasgreat. efoodwasincredible,andtheserviceprovidedbyJalayne wasexceptional. ereisabsolutelynoreasonyoushouldn’t makeyourwaytoCoonRapidsASAP. Whenyougetthere, besuretotellJalayneandstaff wesaid“Hi”,andthatunder RoadsMagazineofIowasent you!
MelanieSchwarte melanie@thunderroadsiowa. com
IfyouhaveaWRTElocation forustovisit,pleaselet meknowatMelanie@ thunderroadsiowa.com.
emenuoffersdeliciouspizza, sandwich,andappetizeroptions. Whenwevisited,therewasalsoa pastaspecialavailable. Wedecideto tryseveralkindsofpizzaas wellas oneofthesandwiches. Wesippedour scrumptiousdrinks,andbeforelongour foodstartedarriving.
VernonandIsharedaHotPastrami sandwichthatwasamazing. Aso, yetchewysubroll,piledhighwith warmpastrami,meltedSwisscheese, andbrinybananapeppers. Adrizzle ofyellowmustardcomplimentedthe
An old lady rushed into the police department and claimed she was raped. When asked what the guy looked like, she said she didn’t know, onlythat he was a contractor. When asked how she knew that, she yelled, “Allhecouldsaywas,‘I’mcoming!I’mcoming!’andhe neverfinished the job.”
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissedhiswifegoodbyeandsaid,‘Well,I’moffnow.The man should be here soon.’ Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographerhappened to ringthedoorbell,hopingtomakeasale.’Goodmorning, hesaid,“I’vecometo...”“Oh,no needtoexplain,”Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, “I’ve been expecting you.”
‘Have youreally?” Said the photographer. “Well, that’s good. Did you know babies are my specialty?” “Well, that’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come inandhaveaseat.”Afteramomentsheasked,blushing, “Well, where do we start?” “Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.”
“Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work outforHarryandme!”“Well,noneofuscanguarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.” “My, that’s a lot!”
to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped piece of cutlery. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our staff are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 manhours per shift.” As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon, and he was able to replace it with his spare. “I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.” I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s zip on his trousers. Looking around, I noticed that allthe waiters hadthe samestring hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, “Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?” “Oh, certainly!” Then he lowered his voice. “Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tyingthisstringtothetipofyouknowwhat,wecanpull itoutwithouttouchingitandeliminatetheneedtowash ourhands, shorteningthe timespent in therestroomby 76.39 percent.” I asked, “After you get it out, how do you put it back?” “Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.”
Gasped Mrs. Smith. “In my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be In and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.” “Don’t I know it,” said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a bus,” he said. “Oh, myGod!” Mrs.Smith exclaimed, graspingat her throat. “And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.” “She was difficult?” Asked Mrs. Smith. “Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look.” “Four and five deep?”SaidMrs.Smith,hereyeswidewithamazement. “Yes”, the photographer replied, “And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached, I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.” Mrs. Smith leaned forward. “Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh. . .. . equipment?” “It’s true, yes. Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.” “Tripod?” “Oh yes, I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big to be held in the hand for very long.” Mrs. Smith fainted.
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?” The kid replies, “Yeah.”The cop says, “Well, next year tell Santa to put atail-light onthat bike.”Thecopthenproceedstoissue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takestheticketandbeforeheridesoffsays,“Bytheway, that’s a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that toyou?”Humoringthekid,thecopsays,“Yeah,hesure did.” The kid continued, “Well, next year tell Santa to put the dickunderneath the horse, instead of on top.
PeoplewhosaytogetyourXmasshoppingdoneearlyto avoidcrowdsareliars.Ididmineafull12monthsearly andthe shops were as busy asever.
I regret making an herb belt as a Christmas present, it wasa completewaist of thyme.
Lastweek,wetooksomefriendsouttoanewrestaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the waiter brought our water and cutlery, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, “Why the spoon?” “Well, “he explained, “the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting
Just finished my Christmas shopping online but accidentally used my Donor card instead of my Visa card. Costme anarmanda leg.
What does Mrs. Claus get when she wears tight pants? Amistletoe.
What’s the best Christmas present in the World? A broken drum, youcan’t beatit!
IjustwenttogetmyChristmascakeout of the cupboard only to find it Stollen.
What do you call a dildo ona Christmastree? Adickoration.
Camehomelastnighttofindmydoors smashedinandeverythinggone!Why would someone do that to my advent calendar?
Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino’s for a pizza. The salesgirl answered “Do you want yourusual?Deeppan, crispand even?”
What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses.
What do all the female reindeer do when Santa takes the malesouttoguidehissleigh?Theygointotownand blow morethan a few bucks.
Did youhearabout the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soultoSanta.
A bloke comes downstairs one morning before Christmas to let his parrot out for a fly around. He opens the cage door, the parrot flies out of the cage and - BANG!straight into the window. The parrot falls to the floor, lies there stunned fora minute orso, then sits up blearily. “You f**king wanker!” it says. “What the f**k did you do that for? My f**king skull’s cracked.”The man is astonished. “Hey, stopswearing” he says.The parrot isunabashed. “F**k off”itsays,givinghimthefingerwithonewing.Justput me back in my f**king cage and get out of my f**king sight.”This’llneverdo,thinkstheman.Whatifthevicar comes round or something? So, he puts the parrot back in its cage and covers it up ... no good. He can still hear this torrent of foul language all over the house. He puts the cage in the cupboard under the stairs ... better, but still audible. Eventually, he loses patience and takes the swearing parrot out of its cage, throws it in the freezer and slams the door. Perfect: all he can hear is muffled cursing.Afterhalf an hourorso, it all goes quiet. So,he gingerlyopensthefreezertofindtheparrotsittingthere quietly.Whentheparrotseeshim,itsays“I’msorry,I’m sorry. Let me out of here and I promise I’ll never swear again.I’llneversayanotherword.I’mreallysorry.”So, the chap lifts the parrot out of the freezer and puts him back in his cage.After a bit, the parrot says “I do have one question though. What did the turkey do to offend you?”
In a small Southern town, there was a “Nativity Scene” that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quick Stop” on the edge of town, Iasked the lady behindthecounteraboutthehelmets.Sheexplodedinto arage,yellingat me, “You damnYankeesneverdo read the Bible!” I assured her that I did, but simply couldn’t recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said “See, it says right here, ‘The three wise mancame from afar.’”
What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
Whateverthehellyou want. He can’t hearyou.
How is Christmas just like any other day at the office? You do a bunch of work and some fat guy in a suit gets all thecredit.
As I was paying the cashier for my Christmas tree, he asked, “Are you going to put that up yourself?” I said, “No,I’m putting it upinthe living room.”
Why wasthe snowmansmiling? He could see the snowblowercoming downthestreet.
What’s the most disappointing thing for a lover on Christmas morning? When they get a sweater, but they’re hoping fora screamerora moaner.
ThreemendiedonChristmasEveandweremetbySaint Peteratthepearlygates. “Inhonorofthisholyseason,” SaintPetersaid,“Youmusteachpossesssomethingthat symbolizesChristmastogetintoheaven.” Thefirstman fumbledthroughhispocketsandpulledoutalighter.He flickediton.“Itrepresentsacandle,”hesaid.“Youmay pass through the pearly gates,” Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocketand pulledout a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.” Saint Peter said, “You may pass through the pearly gates.” Thethirdmanstartedsearchingdesperatelythroughhis pocketsandfinallypulledout apairofwomen’sglasses. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?” The man replied,“They’re Carol’s.”
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sportyfour-wheel-drivevehicles.” “Shedid,”hereplied. “But wherewasI going to find afake Jeep?”
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. “I PRAY FORA NEWBICYCLE...I PRAYFORANEWNINTENDO...I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR...” His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.” To which the little brotherreplied, “No, butGramma is!”
A boy begs his father to get him a Christmas tree this year. Each year, the boy asks and the father tells him, “I don’t want to pay for it.” But the son kept begging. Unabletobearhisson’swhining,hepicksuphisaxeone day and heads out of the house. Thirty minutes later he returns with a great big Christmas tree. “How did you cutitdownsofast?”hissonasks.“Ididn’tcutitdown,” the fatherreplies. “I got it at a tree lot.” “Then why did you bring an axe?” “Because I didn’twant topay.”
Thiswriderlikesmotersickels---crusty,ratty,greasy, oldmotersickels. Helikestofindthem,buildthem, andridethem. Andwhenheridesthem,helikestoride themfar,andwide,andoften! Afterall,thatisforwhich motorcyclesweremade. Whenamanorawomanrides motorcycles,especiallyoldmotorcycles,wegettomeet themostawesomepeopleGodeverput onPlanetEarth:OTHEROldMotersickel Enthusiasts! Theseso-called‘Enthusiasts’ makeupaverysmallpartofthepopulation ofAllMotorcyclists.
OldMotersickelEnthusiastscomeina greatnumberofvarieties. Someareolder (oryounger)thanmostofus. Somehave morefinancialwealththanothers. Some (most?)havemorethanoneoldmachine. Afterall,ifone’sgood,two(ormore)has gottobebetter,right? Some(few?)have butoneoldbikeandareperfectlycontent andtotallydevotedtotheirOneandOnly. Theyseemtocomefromallwalksoflife, too.
it’sjustapileofrubblewithfewidentifiablemotersickel partsbeingvisible. Sometimesit’saBasketCasespotted oneVilBayoratayardsaleorafleamarket. Maybewe simplyhaveaVisionofaHand-BuiltJohnnyCash“One PieceataTime”tocallourveryown.
Someliketheirmachinesrestoredtothebike’spristine as-builtcondition. Somelikethemover-restored. (Sadly, mostofthemachinesinthesetwocategoriesnevergettobe ridden.) Someenjoyshowingandridingtheir“First-Paint” or“OriginalUnrestored”machines. Thankfully,thesebikes areoftenseenonthestreetsandroads,butnotasoften asthenextcategoryofOldMotersickelEnthusiasts. Of course,these‘categories’arenotcarvedinstone,butare, rather,thesentimentsofonecrustyoldman.
WithinthemicrocosmofOldMotersickelEnthusiaststhere existstheNextCategory: TheRiders.
Youneverknowwhennorwhere“TheRiders”maybe found;however,therearesomepredictablehaunts,manyof themrighthereintheMidwest/NorthernPlains/BlackHills oftheUSA. PlaceswithnamessuchasAlgona,Sturgis, Fremont,Davenport,andWauseontonamejustafew. Thosewhoare‘intheknow’areawareoftheseplacesand thegreattimes“TheRiders”havebeenknowntohaveat theseplaces.
TheseRidersenjoyMachineryasunusualandunique astheirverypersonalitiesthemselves. Forsome,it’sa period-modifiedbobberorchopper. Othersmayprefera once-restoredbikethatnolongerneedstobejudged,but ratherenjoyedonthehighwaysandbywaysofAmerica. Stillotherfortunateoneshavebeenblessedtohavefounda survivingexampleofanoldbobber,chopper,orbarn-find example.
ThenthereisTheRestofUs...
We,ThePeople,whomayfindarollingchassiswithout motornortransmission. Orperhapsit’savintagepower plantwithnorollingstock. Maybeit’sasubstantially completesledwithablown-uporseizedmotor. Sometimes
Beforelongweendupdivingintothedeep endofthepoolandlearntoswiminthe waterswiththeotherAmateurBuilders.
SwapMeets,greasyoldindependent motersickelshops,etc.
Often,dueinsomegreatmeasuretocertain fiscalrestraints,theseGreatCreationsor Resurrectionsfindthemselvesontheroad beforetheyfindthemselvesinthepaint boothorplatingshop. Itseemsasthough mostofthesebikesneverfindtheirway toneitherpaintnorplate. Personally,this wriderhasnobeefwiththeseAmateur-Built MachinesnorwiththeirRiders.
AndthentherearetheRatBikeRiders. Simplyput,RatBikeRidershaveafewloosewiresunder theDashboardsofTheirMinds. Ithasbeensaidthatthere isafinelinebetweenaGeniusandaFool,andIbelievewe RatBikeRidershaveafootfirmlyplacedoneachsideof thatline! DAMN,doweknowhowtohaveFunwithour OldMotersickels! Therearecountlessbikesmorevaluable indollarsandcentsthananyofthesmallfleetinmyshed, butIdefyANYBig-BuckBikeOwnertotellmetheyhave hadmorefunwiththeirOldMotersickelsthanIhavehad withmine!
“IfIhavetoexplain,youwouldn’tunderstand.” ~AuthorUnknown~
TheFriendshipsandBrotherhoodsthatcanbespawnedby joiningtheRanksoftheAmateurBuilderSocietyaretruly immeasurable. SomefolksarenotcutouttobeAmateur Builders,andthatisokay. Thischoiceiscertainlynotfor everyone,andnooneshouldbejudgedorcondemnedfor notwantingorbeingabletobeOneofUs. Theimportant thingtonoteherehaslesstodowiththemachinesthanit hastodowiththepersonalities.
OH,thePersonalities!
TheAlmightyScorekeeperhasblessedthiswriderwith moreofHisGiftsthanarequantifiable. Bikes,parts, tools,paper,clothing,toys,andalltheothertangibles, buttheBiggestofGiftshasundoubtedlybeentheGifts ofPersonalities,aka“Friends.” (Ithasbeensaidthata “Friend”issomeonewhoknowsyouquitewellandlikes youinspiteofthisKnowledge.)
Friendswhohavegivenmetheveryshirtsofftheirbacks. Friendswhohavetaughtmehowtogivetheveryshirtoff myownback.
Wecanonlykeepwhatwehavebygivingitaway. (Again, “IfIhavetoexplain...”)
TherehavebeenagreatnumberofFriendswhohave profoundlyimpactedmylifeoverthepast45-50years. Eachandeveryoneofthemholdsaspecialplaceinmy Heart. Some(toomany!)havepassedontothatForever Two-LaneTwisty-TurneyBlacktopHighwayintheSky. Manystillwalk,hobble,andwaddleamongstustoday. TheyhaveALLgivenfreelytomeandhavehelpedmold andshape(roundisashape!)meintowhoIamtoday,and forthat,IamGrateful!
Thesemachineswillonedaypassthroughthehandsoftheir presentcaretakersandontonewanddifferentcaretakers. ThatistheCycleofLife. Asmuchasthemachinescan bringustogether,theyarenowherenearasimportantasthe BondsofBeingHumanthatdevelopandgrowaswehunt thebitsandpieces,build,andridethesemotersickels.
OurCountryisold,butitisstillverystrong,althoughnot asstrongnorasUnitedasitwasnotsomanyyearsago. Thisisnotacoincidence. Ichallengeeachandeveryreader ofthisstory,LeftorRight,to‘reachacrosstheaisle’and takeonestepnearertheMiddle. Godknowsthereisplenty ofspaceinthatMiddle,asnooneseemstobethereatall anymore. We’vegotplentyofpeoplearoundtheWorld whoareagainstUS,Godknowswecanillaffordtobe againsteachother!
“Unitedwestand,dividedwefall.”~PatrickHenry~March 1799
PleaseallowmetogiveashoutouttotwoofmyFavorite Friends,oneliving,onegoneaheadofus.
“We’rehereforagoodtime,notforalongtime.”~Ronnie WHO???!!!~
“Ifyouwantafriend,BEafriend.”~”Mac”MacConnell~ Alice
PostScript:
Thisstoryoriginallystartedoutas“TheStoryofDirty Gurl”butitendedupbeingsomethingquiteabitdifferent. ThereisnowaythestoryofDirtycanbetoldwithoutfirst explainingthebackgroundoftheFriendshipthatpreceded
theBuild. Themachineiscool,nodoubt,butthemachine meansverylittlewithoutknowingthatStory. Thankyou forunderstanding.
ThankstoallmyFriends,here,andintheHereafter.
SpecialThankstoVernonandMelanieforallowingmethe privilegeofsharingmythoughtswithyouallinthesepages.
SpecialThankstoMomandDadforraisingmeaswellas youdid. MayyoubothRestinPeace.
Lastly,SpecialThankstoBillWilsonandtheH.P. LS
GivetheGiftofChristmas...
Italkabouttheholidaysalot.It’sabigdealinmyworld andI’vementionedhowIdon’tunderstandwhypeopleget sopissyaboutChristmas. Sure,theymighthavetheirown personalreasons,butitisaseasonofJoy,ifyoujustletit happen.
Maybeitremindsthemofsomeonetheylovedandlostor maybetheywerejust surroundedbyshitty peoplegrowingup,but Ithinkalotofithasto dowiththefactthata lotofpeoplejustdon’t knowhowtobehappy. Theydon’tknowhow toacceptsomethings inlife.Thingsaregood sometimesinlife,It’s OKforpeopletowant tobepleased.The holidaysdothatforme. Italwaysgivesmea timeofreflectionand I’lltalkmoreaboutthat (asIdoalmostevery year)writingforThunder RoadsMagazineofIowa, themostaward-winningmagazineaboutmotorcyclesthat’s basedinIowa,inthecategorythatImadeup,thatsounds reallyplausibleandverylikelytrue…andlet’snotforgetit.
earlylifegiftsfromSantathatweremyfavorite(andwhich Istillhavetoday,justforpurecashvalue.Onethatstands out,achaindriventrikewhenIwasbarelyoldenoughto walk.Itwascandyapplered,whiterimsfeaturedarailing onthebackthatmysisterwouldstandonwhileIwould giveherridesupanddownthedrivewayforhours.
Movingtothepedalvarietycamewithmydad“hot rodding”awickedcoolearly70’serapedalbike.Life changerforafive-year-old.Apehangerhandlebarsthe tassels,aspeedometer,emeraldgreenwithasparklefinish andayellowbananaseat,manthatwasthedeal.Ilovedthe helloutofthatmachine.
MydadalwaystreatedmewayolderthanIprobably should’vebeen.Itwasn’tunusualformetogetammofor Christmas,firearms,huntingoroutdoorrelatedgear.
SoonIwillwritemoreaboutthisintheupcomingissues ofThunderRoadsMagazine,themotorcyclemagazineof Iowa,didImentionit’sthepremiermotorcyclemagazine ofIowa?ThegreatestgiftIwasevergivenwasthegift offreedomthatcameintheformoftwowheelsandan internalcombustionmotor.Imean,gettingaminibikewas anabsolutelifechangerformeasayoungboy.WhenI lookbacknow,Ikindofwonderwhatinthehellmydad wasthinkinggivingmethatmachinewhenhedid!Iwas6 1/2yearsold;however,thisparticularminibikedidn’thave anybrakes,youliterallyjustdrugyourfeettoslowitdown. HereIam,barelyacoupleyearsintoridingabicycleand Igetaminibike. Abikethatwouldchangemylife.Hard tounderstandthatnextyearwillbemy50thanniversaryof ridingtwowheelsanditdoesn’tseempossible. Suchgreat memoriesofgifts.
OnceuponatimeIwasemployeeofthemonth.I’mstill waitingtocollectmybonus.I’msureitwillbeadelicious porktenderloinofsomesortandyou’redamnrighttheboss isgoingtopayforitasanaddedbonusIamleaningtoward addingcheese.
TheChristmasseasonIloveitandIwillcontinuetolove it.IthinkmyloveforitexplodedmorewhenIbecamea father.Ireallyenjoyedspreadingtheloveourchildren’s visionsanddreams.TobeopenhonestIjustlikebuying presentsforpeopleIcareabout,hell,evenformybuddies too.I’llrandomlyseesomethingandthinkoh“insertfriends namehere”wouldprobablyreallylikethat.Ireallylike buyingstuffformywifetoo.She’simpossibletoshop for(likeIsuspectmanywivesare).Forheraslongasit’s motorcycle,boating,lakecabinstuff,jeep,expensive, fashionable,namebrand,designer,Victoria’sSecret,then sheiseasytobuyfor!Hell,ifIcanfindsomethingthatfits allthosecategories,wellevenbetter.
Itisformebettertogivethantoreceive. I’vegottentothe pointinmylifewhereIreallydon’tneedanypresents,not Christmas,birthday,ColumbusDay,Valentine’sDayorSt. Patrick’sDay.WhenIwasarugratIwaslikeeveryother kid,alwayssuperexcitedaboutChristmas.Istillremember
I’vegottentothepointwhereI’malmostimpossibleto buyfor.I’mOKwiththat.Idon’tneedsocks.Idon’t needunderwear.Idon’tneeddeodorant.Idon’tneed tools,althoughIcouldprobablyuseacoupleof10mm sockets,butIdon’tneedanotherfishingpole.Idon’tneed accessoriesformymotorcycle.I’mblessedthatI’matthat pointofmylifewhereifIneedsomethingIcanbuyit. IknowwhatIlike.IknowthefashionthatIwillalways have.IknowthestyleofclothingthatlikeandI’mnot abouttochange,becausesomethingiscoolhipandtrendy Becauseagaininmylifethere’snothingthatiship,cool, andfun.
Ittookmeawhiletorealizegreatfunaroundtheholidays, hasnothingtodowithpresents.Formeandagreatmany Iowans,riders,non-riders…Americans,wealreadyreceived thegreatestgiftwecouldhavereceivedasacountrywhen electiondaydeliveredusachangeandcorrectingthepaths weareonandthatcanbeagiftforallofus!Itprovides alittleextrajoyinourhearts,asmileonourfaces,and maybewewillevenbeabletoaffordtobuysomeChristmas presentsorattheveryleastgasforamotorcycleora minibike.
Mypureheartdoesn’twantanybodytofeelaloneorupset andwewanttocreatenewmemories.Ialwayshopethat youallaresmilingandfindingthepeaceloveandthejoy thattheholidayseasoncanbring.
Aftertheholidaysaredone,westillhaveacoldwinter aheadofus.Itdoesn’ttakemuchtofindoutpersonallyhow muchIdespisethemonthofFebruaryasit’sabsolutely theworstmonthoftheyear.I’vesaiditbeforeandI’llsay itagain,ifI’mincharge,waitWHENI’mincharge,my firstorderofbusinessisgoingtoeliminateFebruaryandif they’renotgonnaletmedothatI’mgoingtoatleastmove “LeapDay”toJune.Generally,we’vegotnoridingin JanuaryandthesameforFebruary.Ifwe’reluckywecan getoutsometimeinearlyMarchandtheseasoncanbegin anew.
Quickadviceduringtheholidayseason,stayuptoolate. Findsomemistletoe.Dounspeakablethingsinfrontofthe mistletoe,underthemistletoe,aroundthemistletoe,orwith themistletoehanginginthehouse.Gooutofyourway tomakesomebodiesday,gooutofyourwayandsmile. It’s100%worthit,enjoyeverybitoftheholidayseason. Youmayneverknowthatbypayingitforwardyoucould createalifetimememoryforsomebodytheywillalways appreciate.MerryChristmas,HappyNewYear,Cheers amigos.
Todd“Crash”Davis
Nov29 BlackFridayBigBarnHDDesMoines
Dec14 HolidayOpenHouseBig BarnHDDesMoines
Dec14 SantaComingtoMetroHDCedarRapids
Jan25-26 MidwestCycle&MotorsportsShow&SwapMeet SouthSioux City,NE
Jan31-Feb2WorldofWheelsKansasCity
Feb5 ABATEofIowaLobbyDayDesMoines
Mar29-30 35thAnnualDonnieSmithShowandSwap SaintPaul,MN
Apr4-5 HeartlandSteamBettendorf
Feb14-16 39thAnnualABATED2LincolnBikeShow Lincoln,NE
Feb22-23 56thAnnualO’ReillyAutoPartsRodandCustom ShowMonticello
Mar2 PartsGirlPromotionsSwapMeetCedarRapids
Mar7-9 WorldofWheelsOmaha
Mar7-9 WorldofWheelsChicago
Apr5-6 ChopperShowatD7ExpoMasonCity
Apr5-6 38thAnnualNorthIowaMotorcycleEXPO MasonCity
Apr6 PartsGirlPromotionsSwapMeetRockIsland,IL
May2-3 VintageTorqueFestDubuque
May3 14thAnnualSleepingAngelsFunRunBoone
Mar16 WileWade’sHighPerformanceSwapMeet& TradeShowDesMoines
Mar21-23 OmahaChapterAMCANationalSwapMeet FremontNE
May10 eRustRunAntiqueMotorcyclePokerRun Atlanta,NE
May10 2ndAnnualRideforeStFlorianChildren’s MiracleBurnCampCedarRapids
May20 BikersInsidetheBeltwayWashingtonDC
May22-25 RedneckRevivalConesville
Jul3-5 ABATEofIowaFreedomRallyAlgona
Jul3-5 IowaHogDragsandNostalgiaReunionHumboldt
Aug9 SupportOurVeteransRideLuVerneSep10-14
LakeoftheOzarksBikefestOsageBeach,MO
Sep25-28 41stAnnualMRFMeetingoftheMinds Shreveport,LA
