Words of Wisdom from our Counselling Department

SURVIVAL IN MATRIC 2019

A full, busy and emotional year 

Great excitement-finally the seniors. Leaders of the school.

Great power and great responsibility.

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A year of highlights and milestones. Celebrations, making a mark, celebrating the 18th birthday (For many), new found independence. Important to be present during this time.

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From about June/July. A feeling of between two worlds: The Adult and the Scholar (child) . Part of the school/ but one foot out. Greater independence but also greater need for support.

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Feelings of anxiety, excitement and ambivalence are normal.

Some girls emotionally checking out before finals.

Avoidance/Embrace of Good byes. Some girls express Matric feeling like the longest goodbye BUT each ceremony, each moment, each event essential and important

Be realistic and caring    

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One cannot do everything! PRIORITIZE. Fulfill commitments already made Important to BALANCE out our wants from our should-both should be in balance. One must not outweigh the other.

KNOW YOURSELF-both strengths and weaknesses. Environment/ study style/ needs from others and needs from yourself ASK FOR HELP-putting pride and independence in the pocket sometimes and letting your wisdom to ask for help, support etc. outweigh what others think DO NOT WAIT FOR THE LAST MINUTE to ask for help (know yourself).

This limits how others can help you Have an HONEST DISCUSSION with your parents/caregivers around needs (theirs and yours) and expectations. Sometimes its helpful for you to do things you think unnecessary to help anxious parents. i.e. if you put a visible time table up and cross it off-not so much because you need it but because it relieves your parents anxiety.

Stress ď ľ

Exams are stressful, even for people who work hard consistently throughout the year. A modest amount of stress and anxiety can provide valuable stimulus that gets us to study and prepare, otherwise we might not bother to put in our best effort

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Not all stress is bad for us - the trick is to get the dose right. Anxiety is normal. The exam results are important to you, and not entirely predictable - anyone can be anxious about that. But you don't need to become so anxious that you're crippled by fear. You need to control the anxiety, and not let it control you. You're the boss, even if it doesn't feel like it.

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Control what you can and let go of what you can’t control 

E.g. of things we can control

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E.g. of things we can’t control

Tips continued 

Ensure you are meeting your basic human needs (eating, sleeping etc.) as well as year long self care behaviours- Don’t lock yourself in a room all day with no light no air and no break for days

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Self Care (15-30 minutes at least)

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Physical (walking, swimming, yoga, massage)

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Spiritual (Meditation, religious beliefs, go to a special nurturing place which gives rest-forest/beach/ “granny’s” house)

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Creative (drawing, making items, cooking, baking)

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Emotional (friends, family, support system, therapy, journaling, taking time outs)

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Intellectual (different form school-crosswords, reading (pleasure), journaling)

Ultimately-do your best and be the person who you want to be

Matric survival guide…for Parents/caregivers 

You’re stressed, panicked and filled with questions about the matric final and you’re not even writing them-Here’s some help to weather the storm

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We Can’t write the exams for them but we do play a pivotal role 

Environment

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Support (within balance)

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Guidance but not force

10 Tips for caregivers to support their matriculant 1.

When facing a stressed and anxious matriculant, replace a ‘been there, done that, now you can too’ approach with ‘I understand’ and encouragement; We also can’t do it for them-sometimes we may need to let them figure it out. (Balance)

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Acknowledge the matriculant’s efforts. Noticing and affirming their choices such as turning down a party to study or going for a quick run before getting back to the books can lift the spirits and instil confidence;

3.

Keep your expectations about this particular child’s Matric process and outcomes realistic and make adjustments if they are not.

Each child is different, and your child currently going through matric won’t be going through it like older siblings might have;

4. See where you can help by temporarily relieving your matriculant of time-consuming family responsibilities. For instance, it is likely to be appreciated if they are not expected to say, babysit younger siblings as they might usually do;

5. Model a healthy balance by inviting them out for walk or suggesting watching a favourite TV programme when they’ve been locked in studies for hours; 6. Provide positive, encouraging, ‘can-do’ messages; 7. When it comes to making decisions about life after matric, be as open-minded as possible so that you can acknowledge and support the individuality of your child;

8. Don’t assume that your career path would be good for your child; or that it wouldn’t be just because you did not enjoy it;

9. Avoid getting into conflict about future choices. Conflict with someone as influential as a parent about what to do after matric, can prevent your child from getting on a path to success that is right for them; 10. Parents can help with the research of different careers fields and types of jobs. They can activate their networks to find work shadow opportunities and help find bursary options; practical support such as taking them to open days at potential higher educational institutions

Any Questions?