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Burnt Rose by: Mikayla Meyer
Editor’s Column
Contents
T he end of first term has
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arrived and with that means the first term publication of Wynpress! In this publication, we are focusing on all the Love that was in the air this term, with the new grade 8’s and teachers being welcomed into Wynberg Girls’ High School and of course Valentine’s day. We can’t forget about the teachers that got married the Wynpress Committee hope you enjoy this publication and always remember to not only show the people around you that you appreciate them but show yourself some love as well.
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Aqilah Regal EDITOR
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Who’s language are you speaking? WRITER: Ilham Choonara
We all know that everyone is different, and that everyone has the same set of emotions. However, we all see and feel things in completely different ways. We know that some people appreciate sport and some people are obsessed with literature, while some feel indifferent about Justin Bieber and others don’t go a day without thinking about him. Some of us will just really feel loved when given a chocolate Steri Stumpie, yet, for some, that Steri Stumpie in someone’s life has gone critically unnoticed. You may have heard your mother or even your grandparents mention Gary Chapman’s bestselling book “The 5 Love Languages”. Plot twist: the book is not only for mothers and grandparents. After years of study and observance, Chapman established people’s ways of accepting love and giving love into 5 categories: Acts of service (devotion) Receiving gifts Quality time Words of affirmation Physical touch It may sound too structured to encompass the way you love, but the 5 Love Languages provide a way for people to start understanding one another again, and the way we communicate love. Maybe the reason for friendships falling apart, fighting with your parents, relationship breakups and people drifting apart is that we no longer take the time to acknowledge different personalities. In one of my favorite songs, ‘Naked’ by Ella Mai, the lyrics read “someone who never asks for love but knows how to take it.” This is possible only if you can identify how someone expresses her love, and understand how someone wants to receive and appreciate love.
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A South African man and a French woman Man: I love you, darling French woman: silence Man: ek is lief vir jou, my skattebol French woman: silence Man: je t’aime French woman: smiles and kisses her man, because she understands French, but no English.
The 5 Love Languages What if you could say or do just the right thing guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved? The secret is learning the right love language! Millions of couples have learned the simple way to express their feelings and bring joy back into marriage: The 5 Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman’s New York Times bestseller.
t#1: Words of Affirmation Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important— hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
#2: Quality Time For those whose love language is spoken with Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
#3: Receiving Gifts Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
#4: Acts of Service Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
#5: Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
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NO ROSE. NOW WHAT?
BY AMARACHI VAZIDLULE
It’s the evening before Valentine’s Day and you’re unmotivated to search for a matching red and white outfit, annoyed at everyone’s Whatsapp Statuses and people charging to be another’s Valentine for the small price of R1000. By the time assembly arrives the voice you have been dreading comes again: “Will I get a rose today?” On too many occasions the disappointment on the faces of Wynberg Girls’ High learners are evident as they walk out of the assembly hall because they did not receive a single rose on Valentine’s Day. Have we become so addicted to the clichéd idea that a rose with your name on it means that you are desirable? That you are loved? Commercials and advertising create this theory that if you shower your loved ones with gifts and chocolates on the 14 February , you are showing them a sign of your love, when truthfully, no amount of plastic roses or real roses, Cadbury or Lindt chocolate or signed letters proclaiming love can ever amount to one 6 | WYNPRESS
girl’s worth in this school. What we need to realise is that we are not incomplete if we do not receive a rose on Valentine’s Day. No man or woman can ever complete us. We were all born whole, and only we can add or take away from our wholeness. Next Valentine’s Day, do not dread the assembly. Rejoice with those who receive roses and gifts, keeping in mind that you are able to hype yourself up on your own or with your group of friends or family. Do what you love. Tell yourself that you are taking a day to focus on your physical and mental wellbeing and even do a bit of community service-spreading love does not necessarily mean between two partners. Most importantly, never let your growth as a person diminish because of something as insignificant as a plastic rose made in China, which will be discarded in a week’s time.
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The new wonderful women of Wynberg…. Last year wynberg had to say a very bittersweet goodbye to some incredible staff members and it was only fitting that Wynpress sent them off with a bang with some amazing farewell letters! This year, to conclude the story, we interviewed some of the new teachers who were available so that the entire school can get to know them a little bit more and hear their opinions on some important topics.
BY NICOLA VAN TELLINGEN
citizens living below the poverty line. That’s not news, but with so many suffering, surely the money can be put to better use. On the other hand, climate change, as a result of the Anthropocene, has me at war with myself. Fossil fuels contribute heavily towards the ever-nearing gloom and doom which awaits us and, for me, it becomes a battle between whether environmental issues outweigh the, very real, social justice issues which plague our country. To answer your question, I often find myself dancing around the boundary of whether or not I’m in favour of nuclear energy.” “Has the rapid development of technology led to a better world or not?” Ms C Richards
“Are you in favour of nuclear energy? Why or why not?” Ms K Stemmet “Initially I was completely against it, because of what happened in Chernobyl. I then spoke with a friend of mine, who studied chemical engineering, and she said that with the budget that was proposed for it, they’d be able to build the proper infrastructure needed. After putting that reason to bed, my strong feelings began to dissipate, until I heard about the budget that was proposed. We live in a country with most of our
“Yes and No. It has somehow made things easier for us through communication becoming more instantaneous. For teachers it has made things a lot easier. The blackboard has developed into a white board. We can prepare PowerPoint presentations to give our learners a visual idea of what we are talking about. Everything has become too easy. Our cellphones have become such a big part of schooling and I plan on incorporating the use of it in my lessons since the girls just love to use it. However, I do feel that the next WYNPRESS | 7
generation are in too deep. They rely too much on technology and sometimes all you hear from them is “I don’t have data” or “I can’t pick up Wi-Fi”. It seems as if technology is the language that the next generation will be speaking.” “Would you go to Mars if you qualified knowing you would never come back and why?” Ms A Abrahams “No, I would not. I would definitely go if I could return to Earth, but the idea of living out my days on a barren planet does not appeal to me. Living underground or in enclosures and having to wear special suits every time I venture outdoors where I could possibly die - no thanks. For me, it’s the things I will miss: my family and friends, the calming effect the ocean has in between waves, the flowers and trees, blue skies and fresh air. Nothing can replace that. I love nature and not being able to enjoy the simple sound of rain on the window or birds chirping is unfathomable. I would love to explore the cosmos, but until we can crack time travel, surviving in space, and warp speed; I’m quite okay with travelling around our blue planet. “ “How would you go about solving the water crisis if you were the mayor of Cape Town?” Ms N Didiza “I would make sure everybody is educated about the subject right from the age of three years and adults as well. I would start in the squatter camps and townships. These are the people who waste the most water in my opinion because they don’t care about saving water. There is so much more to worry about. On hot days children play in sprinklers; taps are left running; car washes are a common business. They don’t pay for the water as a communal tap is used and this means they don’t feel the pressure of an increased bill and never understood why they should save water. The government has focused its policies on people who are either already saving water and/or people who are paying for it and by educating the townships about what “day zero” is and why it really is coming i believe the problem could be better handled. I would also employ people to monitor the usage of water in all areas but specifically these.”
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Ms W Paulse Capetonians need to realise that the water crisis we are dealing with poses a possible threat to our social order, because of the marked income inequality. It does not just mean that we would be without water service in our homes, but the City would potentially have wide-ranging consequences on its finances and economy. Two of Cape Town’s main industries, namely tourism and agriculture, are likely to decline due to the water crisis. This would mean job losses and also a loss of tax income. As a mayor it is time to raise more awareness on the seriousness of this water crisis and start to share more information on the consequences of it, if our citizens do not start saving water. I would firstly start to address the mixed messages on the water crisis and make sure that each citizen realises the important part she/he plays in this issue, whether she/he is poor or rich, and that every little bit that they save has a direct result on the bigger outcome. We need to start taking action. If we want to see the change, we need to be the change. There is no easy way out of this crisis and as a mayor one should make sure that everything is in place and taken care of when Cape Town reaches Emergency Stage 3, day zero. “Why do you think good news doesn’t sell newspapers?” Ms N Reeve “Unfortunately, most people seem to be hardwired to love drama and intrigue the more shocking and/ or horrifying a story the more interesting most people find it. Even more unfortunate is the fact that newspaper companies know
this and, therefore, sensationalize or distort facts or quotes in order to make their articles more shocking. If readers are deeply shocked and/ or angered by an event, they are more likely to talk about it, which in turn will lead to increased curiosity and this in turn will lead to increased sales as more and more people want to find out what “actually” happened.” “What do you consider to be the most significant scientific development of the last century?” Ms A Derrocks “I think that the most significant development of science occurred in the medical industry. We’ve come so far in terms of diagnosis and operations. Many years ago, having an invasive surgery meant a 50/50 chance of survival. Today people are able to have triple and double bypass surgeries without that much of a worry. Although it may be expensive, medicine has grown so much. Examples of these are doctors using nano technology and robots to operate on patients. The industry and growing and developing at a rapid pace. One day soon, we might be able to regrow our own organs using stem cells. I think that is revolutionary in an almost scary way.” Although unfortunately some of our new staff weren’t able to be interviewed we at Wynpress hope this has given you all some insight into the people who’ll you’ll be spending a fair amount of time with over your coming high school career!
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A Paw-t-nership
BY ZAYYAAN ESAU
Pets - the blissful company you keep when human interaction becomes a bit too trying and tedious. Pets, be it a fluffy dog or a sassy cat or even an aged tortoise, provide the effortless comfort and love, despite your bad-hair days and mood swings. In turn, they seek your love and affection and praise. A scratch behind the ear, a soft belly rub and a treat, are a few of many ways in which you can repay your precious companion for their care, because they truly do adore you and you them. As a proud cat owner, I, too, can hold testament to those frustrating days when your pet will just not listen. They’ll run where you tell them not to; they’ll sleep on your freshly-washed clothes; they’ll even destroy the laces of your brand new shoes. When it comes to getting work done, they’ll most definitely sleep all over your notes and homework but those days mean nothing when your pet looks up at you with his adorable eyes as if you were his whole world. And on those cold, winter nights, they’re the perfect cuddle buddies. Not to mention when you’ve had a long day and all you want to do is rant, they’ll gladly watch you make a fool of yourself as you do bad impressions of the people who made your day so unpleasant. All without judgment, because their love for you is unconditional and untainted by society’s expectations of us. Which leads me to my next point: Our household pets and all other animals are the purest parts of society. They are true souls who live their lives with their superior instincts, which they have learnt independently from man’s false sense of control and discovery. Yet, in recent years man has become increasingly neglectful and abusive towards animals with a sickening number of at least 1920 cases of animal abuse being reported every year. Animals and pets deserve to be treated as the living and breathing organisms that they are. They have feelings and emotions and deserve to be loved. Just as you love your pets, you should love all other animals and never take the love that your pet has for you, fo granted.
Sylvester: Always ready to study :) 10 | WYNPRESS
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SELF LOVE BY JASMINE KENNEDY
Self- love, is a term used so often as an excuse to eat that extra doughnut, to skip gym, or to watch one ( or 5) more episodes of Game of Thrones. However, self love is so much more than that. Though these things feel good in the moment, they are just activities that feel good and don’t grow self-love. They’re just temporary. Self-love is difficult and tiring and it comes in the small things. It’s not sitting behind a screen on Tumblr looking at self love quotes and going “Amen!”. It takes perseverance and you never perfect it. There’s no end goal. You just keep getting better at it.
Self-love can be in the small things like being able to do something by yourself and not needing a friend to do it with you to make it feel worthwhile. This can be going to the
movies alone; going to the park to read or going to a cafe for a coffee and being fine with your own thoughts. This seems daunting to most, but being able to be happy by yourself is such a special skill. It means that a weekend alone doesn’t have to be sad or lonely because you actually enjoy your own company. It’s not something that’s easy, because we have been brought up on self-hate, with companies breeding off our insecurities and capitalising on creating new things for us to hate about ourselves so we can buy their products. We live in a world where it’s much more acceptable to insult ourselves than to compliment ourselves. Today it’s an act of rebellion to be able to tell yourself you’re hot or to prevent yourself from trying to achieve these unachievable beauty standards created for us by the media. As humans we are really hard on ourselves: we criticize ourselves endlessly, and fail to forgive ourselves our small mistakes. Sometimes we just need to take a step back and admit that we are all human and sometimes we need to give ourselves a break. Forgive yourself; admit you’ve made a mistake and learn from it instead of constantly beating yourself up for it. Most importantly, self-love is not conditional. There’s a difference between self-love and self-like. Self-love is loving yourself when you get a bad mark or don’t look your best or say something stupid. Self-like is only liking yourself when you’re pretty or when someone gives you a compliment. Self-like depends on things, whereas self-love is completely unconditional and means you value yourself because you’re you. You’re a human and you deserve to be loved.
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importantly, Self-Love is personal and no one can tell you what Self-Love is for you. You need to be able to know what you need in order to feel happy. It can’t come from someone else. Self-Love is a beautiful thing: t improves your confidence and means that it’s a lot harder for the small things people say or do to get you down, because you know you’re fabulous and that if someone else doesn’t think you are, that’s cool, because you know you are and that’s what matters. Sometimes self- love is just standing in front of a mirror and saying, “I’m beautiful. This body has done so much for me; it carries my soul, and it’s sexy!” It’s practising things that are good for your mind, body and soul; it’s difficult and no one perfects it. The whole point of self-loving is to grow, so it’s okay to suck at self-love. You’ll only improve, because you are worth the effort. Sometimes Self-Love is making sacrifices because you know it’s what’s best for you. This might be skipping a party because you know you have a big week ahead and you know you’ll only stress later on if you don’t get the work done. That’s loving yourself. Doing something good for your needs rather than momentary wants. Self-love can be dropping a subject that you have tried to master, but it gives you too much stress for what it’s worth. Self- love is going to the gym after a stressful day because you know it will make you feel better in the end. Self-love can be ending a friendship or relationship that’s toxic or even cleaning up your room. Most
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5 Songs about Loving Yourself and Others BY CHEYENNE BRITTEN
February, the month of love and friendship...but mostly love, is dreaded by some and enjoyed by others. Whether you’re in a relationship, single, or have recently experienced a break up, these 5 songs will touch your ears and your heart.
1. Tell me you Love me- Demi Lovato Anyone may think this powerful and emotional song is about the need to have a relationship. Including lyrics such as “I need someone on days like this, I do” and “You ain’t nobody till you got somebody”. However, if you listen until the end, she realises at the end of the day, all you need, all you have, is yourself: “Everything I need is standing in front of me” 2. After the Storm – Kali Uchis, Tyler, The Creator, Boosty Collins From her highly anticipated album, Fool’s Paradise, Kali Uchis brings a smooth energy filled R&B track telling us “if you need a hero, just look in the mirror” . This is a perfect song to listen to if you need some motivation after a bad day.
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3. 10,000 Hours- PRETTYMUCH “I’m ‘bout to take 10000 hours loving you” and “I fill up your mind with some memories” sounds cheesy but this track by PRETTYMUCH is nothing compared to those clichéd boy band love ballads we are all used to. The addition of ad-libs and use of pop/urban beats make the song catchy and hard not to sing along to. The song is based on Gladwell’s 10000 hours rule, who considers it to be the key to success in any field, and in this case, love.
4. There for you- Martin Garrix and Troye Sivan Lyrically, this song is about supporting and being by your partner or friend’s side when they need you: “So, when your tears roll down your pillow like a river / I’ll be there for you / I’ll be there for you”. Flawless vocals and an EDM mix enhance this encouraging dance single.
5. New Rules- Dua Lipa Nothing says independence more than Dua Lipa’s popular break-up anthem telling us to forget about that ex by following these simple rules: “One: Don’t pick up the phone… Two:Don’t let him in…Three: don’t be his friend”. It encourages women to take charge of themselves and keep their distance from someone who is bad for them and their hearts.
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THE JOHANNES-SWANSON WEDDING
BY KIMBER JACOBS
At 3 o’clock (on the dot) on a warm, sunny Saturday afternoon outside the Moravian Chapel in District Six, a gust of the howling Cape Doctor sweeps away the veil of an anxious bride as she is about to walk up the cobblestone steps and embark down the pathway (aisle) of the most amazing journey of her life - marriage. All while her bridal party clutches for life onto the old railings of the steps, as if they to might fly away. Yet, as if by a miracle, the wind direction suddenly reverses and returns the veil safely into the shaking hands of the bride’s father. That was a bit too close. However, the rest of the ceremony is smooth sailing. The bride and her party make their descent down the aisle as the band plays Elton John’s “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” And by the way that the groom is looking at his bride; yes, yes you can. The ceremony is attended by the couple’s closest friends, family and colleagues (as well as a some of the bride’s students, of course) and is officiated by the Bishop Augustine Joemath. Although it is one hot summer’s day in Cape Town, the beauty of the couple’s vow exchange distracts everyone from the heat. The couple sits and faces each other as the Bishop reads their heartfelt vows in periodical breaks as he reads from the beautiful Psalm 23 as well. Within the blink of an eye the ceremony draws to a close and the couple signed their marriage licence, exchanged rings and even share a kiss. As they make their way out of the church and into life with each other as a married couple, handfuls of carefully cut out book paper in the shape of butterflies (a nod to the bride’s love for words) is thrown into the air by wedding guests and the couple is greeted by choruses of congratulations and greetings. They then make their way to the Chapel gardens to take pictures with their guests and then proceed to the reception. Congratulations on behalf of Wynberg and the Wynpress to Mrs Johannes-Swanson and her husband, Roscoe, on their beautiful nuptials. All of our love, blessings and support to the happy couple for the rest of their lives together.
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How movies shape our ideas and expectations about love BY KIMBER JACOBS When I sat down to write this article, I asked many women which movies have given them a false, unrealistic impression of what love and being in a relationship would be like. The most common answer among them was, “All of them. They’re all unrealistic.” One girl even said, “ It made me think that because we were 15 when we broke up, that in ten years time we were going to find each other again and fall back in love like they did in The Notebook”. Someone else added that with movies like Love Actually, “It gives you a false impression that everyone has the perfect someone who’s out there waiting for them and that love can transcend every single problem on the planet,” and as many of us know, that is simply not the case. How many stories have we encountered where love simply was not able to overcome and transcend issues such as race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, class and culture and, more importantly, what society has to say about people’s relationships. Although many will disagree that love can fix that, unfortunately, one complex issue such as love can’t fix another complex issue such as race. The only thing that can fix that is tolerance. Not only do movies, as well as television, shape our ideas and opinions about love, but they also shape our ideas and perceptions about sex, relationships and dating. It gives us adolescents unrealistic expectations and encourages us to live in in a fool’s paradise until we eventually face a rude awakening. In addition, movies also follow a well thought out formula (that has been so spat out and overused) as well as a script that follows a timeline and expected series of events such as : Boy and girl meet. Fall in love. Source of conflict. Big grand gesture of love and devotion to one another. Happy days. The end Life, unfortunately, does not have a script! Yes, 16 | WYNPRESS
these movies are inspired by real life events, but they also control one crucial factor: other people’s thoughts, words, actions and emotions. Something that we mere mortals cannot control, which is often what makes our experiences with love difficult, and,more importantly, individual and unique. So here are some important tips to remember: The person of your dreams is not conveniently going to live next door.
Forget kissing in the rain. Seriously, you’ll catch a cold. There’s no way you’re going to be able to dash across the whole of Cape Town International Airport to try to get to where that person is boarding and stop them from getting onto the plane. A sparkly vampire and a broody werewolf are not going to fight over you. And most importantly: Taking off your glasses will never ever magically make someone realise how beautiful you are ,with or without those optic lenses. And if that’s what it takes for someone to realise that you’re beautiful, #tellemboybye Remember; they’re called rom-coms for a reason, not documentaries.
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Love... The power of believing BY NICOLA VAN TELLINGEN The vast majority of people feel this deep-rooted, inexplicable desire to be loved, to be in love, love. The reason for this “need” is debatable. Some believe biology is the answer; others fate; some just believe in the power of romance. The power of that connection that so many yearn to feel is indescribable and yet, at the same time, so incredibly painful. It has the power to yank your heart right out of your chest and tear it into tiny sheds that are then thrown to the wind in some sublime act of destiny. We can’t control it. We can’t stop it and it has the power to make you fall head in heels in love with someone from a country right across the world. Thousands of people flock to the “love hotspots” around the world each year in an attempt to find that special something without the messy parts in between. As if Cupid would smile down on them and grant them one of life’s most beautiful pleasures without the blood, sweat and tears required to achieve it. Don’t get me wrong, as a self-confessed hopeless romantic, I understand the appeal, but, unfortunately, no amount of 10c coins in a fountain, letters to Cupid or tubs of ice-cream will make love (or life for that matter) easy. In the world we live in today, the words I love you are said too much and yet at the same time not enough. We express it too casually to truly convey its intended meaning. Love in itself encompasses so many aspects that so many often fail to understand. Devotion, passion, emotion, respect, laughter, communication, independence and at the same time co-dependence and so much more. But at the same time, so many of us fail to tell those we love how we truly feel, and, in doing so, deprive our loved ones of that euphoric high that comes from feeling appreciated, respected and loved. Everyone has a different idea of what love entails. A different idea of how it should be portrayed, a different idea of how it feels, a different idea of well almost everything related to the subject. Love I suppose is what you make of it. What your experiences demand of you. What your life has shown you. No-one’s idea of being in love is exactly the same and because of this, no-one can truly and honestly proclaim to be the love guru and I most certainly am not but I know a story off a German girl and a South-African boy who fell in love. She was only in the country of his birth for a year and from the beginning it was never going to be easy. However,taking a leap of faith, they embarked on a journey to connect their souls. Not realising how far it would go at first it became a beautiful, wholesome love which allowed both of them to be exactly who they were while supporting each other. Their temperaments perfectly matched, their personalities meant for each other, they lived as if there were to be no worries to come. I don’t know how the story ends, truth be told it hasn’t ended yet. Maybe in twenty years time there will be mini-me’s of them running around their GermanSouth African home. Maybe in twenty years time they’ll both look back on that year with fondness their lives simply having diverged down two separate paths. The moral of the story is that love isn’t simple. It isn’t fair and it certainly isn’t a universally similar concept. But it is out there, it is a possibility, and with a little faith it can become a reality.
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The Science of Love BY ROBYN BROWN
Some may say that love is a feeling inside your heart. Well, I’m sorry, to say, but your heart is just a muscle and love is just chemical reactions in your brain. These chemical reactions can be very complicated, so let’s break it down into 3 stages. Stage 1: Lust This stage is pretty simple. Your body will tell you if you like someone and is driven by sex hormones such as testosterone and oestrogen. Stage 2: Attraction When you are absolutely in love, you can’t think about anything else, but them. Don’t worry, it isn’t your fault. There are just too many chemicals bouncing around in your brain. Often you feel very nervous around your crush. Your hands sweat, your heart races, and your mouth becomes dry. This is all because of the adrenaline that is being produced. It allows you to be completely alert. After spending more time with them your body produces dopamine which makes you really happy. Yay! This rush of pleasure has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine! You will find that you have more energy, need less sleep or food, and you can focus and enjoy the little things in life. Finally we release serotonin. One of the most important chemicals which keeps the relationship going. You can’t get the person out of your head. Stage 3: Attachment Last, but not least, we have the final stage. Attachment. This is why people are able to get married and have children. There are 2 major hormones that contribute to this incredibly strong bond: Oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone, is produced after sexual intercourse and is believed to strengthen the bond between a couple. This is also produced during childbirth to create a bond between mommy and baby. Without this we wouldn’t care for our children or even find babies cute and adorable. And the other hormone is vasopressin. This is very important for long term commitments and is released after sexual intercourse. This hormone actually works with your kidneys to control thirst. Psychologists have also shown that it takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if you like someone. Research has shown that it has little to do with what you say, but rather: 55% is through body language 38% is the tone and speed of their voice Only 7% is what they say. So next time you feel you are in love, you know why. 18 | WYNPRESS
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Why do People Need Love? BY CIARA BIRCH
I believe, or in the very least dearly hope, that you, over the course of your relatively short life, have experienced the feeling of love, but, in case the exact meaning of the word is lost to you, I will give a definition. Love is a deep sense of affection for a being or creature. In turn affection can be defined as a feeling of fondness or liking. Now that that has been cleared up - why do we require love throughout our lives, even when we are capable of living independently? The answer, I suspect, is simple. We are social beings, whose survival depends on the support of others. Historically human beings do not have the most impressive bodies as far as protection goes. We have no exoskeleton, no fangs, no claws, and no superspeed. We have depended on our collaborative skills, and numbers to survive predation since the beginning of human time. It is human instinct to preserve one’s life and humans can only survive in groups. It is no wonder then that humans are social beings. With sociability, connection is inevitable. Connection leads to affection and affection leads to love. So through the will to live, we have been hard-wired to love. But loving alone is not enough to survive, and grow on. We need the display of affection. It is not enough for a mother to feed her baby; the baby needs to be held and kissed and talked to or else the baby will not survive. Another example is of the parent who believes in ‘tough love’. No matter how much the parent actually cares for the child, the lack of affection and compassion in the relationship makes the child feel isolated and lonely. The Dalai Lama believes that, and I quote, “The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. It results from the profound inter-dependence we all share with one another. However capable and skillful an individual may be, left alone he or she will not survive. However vigorous and independent one may feel during the most prosperous periods of life, when one is sick or very young or very old, one must depend on the support of others.” In conclusion, love without affection does not make for a healthy human being. When you love someone/creature you show that you love it by displaying affection. A lack of affection is really what one cannot live without. When there is no affection one does not feel loved and,therefore, fails to form connection.
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Cellphone Love is True Love How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43) Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1806 - 1861 How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day’s Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death. Read the poem again, but instead of imagining that it is written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning to express her love for her husband, read it as if the words convey an individual’s love for her cellphone. The thought of someone loving her phone as if it were a partner might be shocking, but this is a reality for many cellphone users across the world. Cellphones are tremendously helpful as they allow us to talk to individuals without being on the same continent. We are granted access to information from all over the world and there are millions of apps that assist us in organisation, time-management and provide entertainment. Although there are many positive aspects of this mind-blowing invention; experiments, surveys and research has shifted the way in which the world views the development of the cell phone. Now that awareness has been spread about the effect of cellphones on the human mind and body, individuals have become more conscious of the fact that cellphones are conducting people’s lives and ruining relationships amongst friends and family members. The following is a list of common indicators of cellphone addicts: Checking your phone first thing in the morning and 20 | WYNPRESS
BY MARINÉ BOSCH
last thing at night. Carrying your phone around with you all day, every day as well as texting while spending face-to-face time with your friends and family. Depending on your phone to relieve you from awkward situations or to avoid communicating with strangers. Allowing your phone to distract you from important work. Becoming hysterical when you find that you have misplaced your phone or when the battery power runs out. Loving this device is easier than admitting your addiction or reversing your habits. Fortunately, there are small steps that you can take to turn your obsessive, phonecontrolled lifestyle to a healthier, selfcontrolled lifestyle. Ask an individual you trust to hold you accountable. It is easier to get rid of unwanted habits when a friend helps you to spot where you are struggling. Turn your phone on silent so that you won’t be tempted by its ringing and buzzing. Allocate a set time or short intervals during the day for yourself during which you are allowed to check your phone. When this time runs out, pack your phone away or hand it to a trusted individual for safe-keeping. Create a new habit by substituting the time spent on your phone with an activity you enjoy doing. Switch your phone off and place it out of your reach when spending time with friends and family. Changing daily habits can be extremely difficult at first, but, by persevering and by setting realistic and achievable goals, you can transform your lifestyle. It is unhealthy to have an addictive love for your cellphone, but no one can blame you if you love your phone because of the freedom it provides. If you do love your cellphone and wish to use it in order to live life on a wider horizon, you would not allow it to trap you.
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The Do’s & Don’ts of Grade 8 For all Grade 8’s, it’s almost always essential to have a list of things that you should and should not do whilst experiencing your first year of high school. I have compiled a list of what I think is suitable for each Grade 8: DO complete your homework and projects at all times and make sure to hand them in on time to achieve all the best marks that you can achieve. DON’T leave your work for the last minute because falling behind in your work will result in unnecessary failure and you’ll end up having to work harder closer to exam time. DO collect all your merits for your involvement in Wynberg’s four pillars. DON’T forget to collect those merits, otherwise your matric leader or your house co-ordinator may hunt you down. DO take part in house challenges or house events to help your house succeed and to show your Wynberg spirit. DON’T avoid these special events because, once you leave school, you make regret never having made those memories with your friends.
DO make friends with the girls in your tutor group. A tutor group is your home for the next five years and each member of your tutor group stands as a friend and as sister for you. DON’T think that because the girls in your tutor group are older than you that they don’t want to be friends with you. Often the girls in your tutor group are just as shy as you are. DO ask the older girls, your matric leader and teachers as many questions as you can. DON’T spend your grade eight year not asking questions otherwise you’ll end up becoming a stressball who hates high school. DO keep your phones off during assembly, as silly as this may seem, having your phone confiscated by the leaders and Mrs Harding is really not worth
it. DON’T play on your phone during assemblies or classes as teachers can and will confiscate them. DO go to special school events like The Bandslam or play productions by the drama society to spread Wynberg Pride and to embrace SUP Wynberg. DON’T avoid these events because come Monday morning, you’ll be the odd one out who can’t share the excitement of the event with others. DO embrace the feeling of a sisterhood in our school, Wynberg really does have a strong bond of Sisterhood that must be embraced and shared by all our girls. DON’T spend your five years in high school hating that idea because then you’ll end up hating high school. Do make friends with as many girls in your grade as possible, seeing a friendly face during your first year sets the tone for the following years. Don’t avoid making friends or stick to one group, extend your social branches. Do enjoy this year, even though you are in grade eight. This is an important year as it sets the tone for your high school career and directs you in a path of learning more about you are as a young woman. Don’t spend your year feeling lost, confused and friendless. This is your year, you are the master of all your successes and you should be excited to see how you drive yourself to success this year. To all the grade eights that have taken the time to read this article, follow those simple and easy steps. They were steps that I followed in grade eight and steps that really helped me grow comfortably during that year. Because of those few steps, I ended up loving my grade eight year and the rest of my high school career, hopefully they can do the same for you.
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Love is love.
BY LULA ALEX DE ROSE 11N
Howard Efland, Robert Hillsborough, Robert Altom, Rick Hunter, John Hanson, Rebecca Wight, James Zappalorti, Julio Rivera and Lollie Winans are just nine names randomly picked from a never-ending list of innocent people who were killed for being homosexual.
We live in a world where cars can drive themselves, where men have left their footprints on the moon, where the impossible can become possible and yet there are thousands of people suffering from abuse, fired from their jobs,killed and shamed every day for being gay. Why is it that heterosexual love is the norm? I don’t know much about love, but I do know that love is love- it has no gender, colour, belief nor face. Love is a need, a want, a necessity. It is not our business to control and judge whom other people love. We have succeeded in making this beautiful world an unshared living room and have shoved homosexuality into a dark closet with the rest of our “junk”. That’s not where our fellow brothers and sisters belong. Sexuality is not a choice. Why would one subject oneself to discrimination when one does not have to? There’s nothing we can say or do that would “fix” homosexuality because it doesn’t need to be fixed. It just needs to be accepted. Acceptance is something we all long for, but something we struggle to open our minds to. Why? Is it because our parents and our teachers taught us that it is normal to love a boy? They asked us if we had a boyfriend without taking into consideration that a girlfriend could also be a possibility. They taught us what they thought was right, but it’s 2018 and we should know better. It should be a given that it’s okay to be gay. It’s okay to be straight. It’s all okay because it doesn’t harm anyone to love who you’re meant to love, even if they’re the same gender as you. It’s okay for parents to consider the possibility of their child not being straight. Can you see the new day on the horizon? The day that men and women share the same space in an accepting living room and the only things forgotten in our closets are hate and discrimination, homophobia and stereotypes, will be a good day. A day when no child has to pretend to be someone she/he is not in order to be accepted by our society. A day when no homosexual person has to prove that her/his love is authentic. A day when our LGBTQI+ brothers and sisters no longer have to feel like guests in their own home; where the closet isn’t safer than the living room.
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Love is in the air The early morning sunlight filtered through the cracks in the bathroom, streaming in like waves. It scared most of the darkness away in Cora Simmons’ dull house, unable to reach every crack and corner of the blitz household. Cora stared blankly down at the pills that were laid down in a perfect straight line. Colour coded, of course, differentiating the firey red ones from the plain white ones. Her hands jerked and skittered as old habits plagued her mind. She wanted to grab the pills and shove them down her throat and crawl back to the old days. Her thoughts whispered and twisted around her brain, telling her what to do, and quickly she snatched only her vitamin C tablet and threw it down her throat with a glass of water. Wiping her mouth, she looked up into the cracked mirror that her family had not yet replaced. Through the cracks she noticed her boring, plain brown eyes. That somehow in all its glory, seemed to be lighter than normal. It might have been the sunlight, the birds tweeting, the sound of the TV that was softer than normal, or the fact that in some twisted, yet strikingly beautiful way Cora Simmons was starting to accept her eyes. That they would never be like the blue ocean or like the galaxies or even be the reflection of the sky. That her hair wouldn’t to be a perfect platinum blond, that her one tooth would stay crooked and that her ears would always be a bit too big. Cora smiled into the mirror, shining her white teeth and scrunching up her eyes in what used to be her daily “check if my smile is believable” routine. Now, as a year had past, she took the time to notice the dimples that were present on her rose- coloured cheeks her circular shaped face, a shape that was surprisingly beautiful. She liked what she saw, and she was happy when she left that bathroom. The bathroom that was once embedded with dark secrets. She didn’t have to touch the make-up base to cover the dark bags beneath her eyes or the moles and freckles on her cheeks. She didn’t reach for the mascara on the counter that she had used desperately to try and make her lashes look fuller. She didn’t use the artificial materials to cover up her flaws anymore and the growing warmth in her stomach of self-love made her feel happy. Leaving her room, she padded lightly into the kitchen and decided to make herself some pancakes for breakfast. When her stomach was pleasantly filled, she packed up the big cardboard box, filled with a regrettable purchase, into her warm hands and opened her front door. She flung the box into the outside bin, slung her school bag over her shoulder and began skipping down the garden pathway. Leaving behind the now broken scale in the garbage. The sugar free foods, the dark house with loathing secrets and the family with broken hearts, were all being left behind. She skipped onwards, towards a new journey with her proud, intrigued eyes and her own life in her hands. No second thoughts and with the biggest prized possession of all, the golden glory of self-love. And this self-love, was in the air forever and onwards in Cora Simmons’ life.
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