Vol. 2 Lolita and Frienemies

Lolita and

Frienemies

Vol. 2

How I Met Your Hit April 2018

How I Met Your Hit

N

ormally Hellena doesn’t open her mail

right away. But, the way these days have been going, she decided when she received a letter from Disability, she’d open it up immediately to get any bad news done and over with. And sure enough...

Her heart dropped to see that her income had decreased considerably because of the loss of her Medicade. “How will I...” She covered her face as visions and memories raced her intrusive thoughts. “Things are supposed to get better.” Tears seeped through her fingers. Her head started swimming. She felt the fighting sensation of detachment. But, a banging on the door distracted her and brought her back to herself.

“Just a minute,” she yelled at the door. She wipes her face and goes to the door. She peeks out the window and sees an odd looking a young man outside in a white short sleeved collared shirt, black pants and black tie. Mormons don’t normally work her street. That’s usually Jehovah’s Witness territory. But, perhaps, God was sending some sort of spiritual guidance. A Mormon was a bit suspicious, but God works in mysterious ways. “He’s very odd, my LORD.” Before Hellena could open the door good the young man forced himself in all the way, kicking the door behind him. He pressed a gun to her temple with one hand and covered her mouth with the other. With his entire body, he slammed her against the wall. The fear that spread throughout Hellena’s body covered up the pain she might have felt.

“You Veronica Stacey?” He yells at her. She mumbles. “What?” She mumbles again. “What?”

She just looks at him. “Oh, yeah. Sorry.” He removes his hand.

“No, I’m not. I’m Hellena Porter!”

He looks at her strangely. “Are you sure.”

“I may be a lot of things, but I’m not Veronica Stacey.”

"Don't go anywhere," he told her after taking a step back and looking at his phone.

Hellena was frightened. Her heart pounded as though it was outside her shirt. However, that didn't prevent her from being nosey.

She looked over the gun man’s shoulder to see what he was viewing on his phone.

She watched as he played with an unusual app. Then, after noticing the picture and information that appeared on his phone, her fear quickly turned to annoyance. “Wait a minute,” Hellena growled while grabbing the phone.

“Hey! Give me back my phone!”

“Is this Veronica Stacey?”

Embarrassed and careful, he answers. “Yeeaah.”

“She doesn’t even look like me!”

“Well, she…she kinda does.”

Offended she asked, “and what about her looks like me?”

“Well…uh…uh…”

“She’s black. That’s about it. You think all black people look a like?”

“No, no… well, a little…but – “ “This address is clear in Waikiki. My apartment isn’t even close to Waikiki.”

“Well, I live on the other side of the island. I don’t spend a lot of time over here.”

“And there’s no black people over there either, huh?’

“No. Wait, no! Yes! No! Wait. I mean! There’s a…uh…a guy. But, his wife is Japanese.”

“You’ve never had to shoot a black person before have you?”

“No, actually,” he stammers. “Not that I have anything against black people. I'm sorry, I mean African-Americans.” Trying really hard not to offend, “I mean, um, some of my best –“ “Don't! No, no...just stop!” She walks away with his phone, looking through it. “Wow, they have apps for everything, don’t they?”

“Well, Rick had that created special for him. No other hit agency has a system like his.”

“Hit agency? Rick?”

Proud of his association. “Rick Kacey. He’s the best and he only employ’s the best.”

Eying the man, Hellena said, with great judgment, “Indeed. So, what are you going to do now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you going to shoot me? I mean, I know your identity and I know who you are planning to kill. Logically you’d have to silence me, right?”

“Oh, well…um…”

“That’s what I’d do.”

“Really?”

“Is this your first time?”

“No! It’s my first-time walking into the wrong house. It’s my first time doing this on my own.”

“Oh my god. Just shoot me.”

“Um…” “Come on, you got me on a good day. Shoot me.”

The man was flustered. This was new to him. He became nervous and embarrassed. He was unsure of what to do. “I don’t think I“ Suddenly overcome with emotion, Hellena impulsively grabbed the man’s hand with the gun, places the barrel on her forehead and yelled, “Shoot Me!!”

He was shocked by her actions and was unable to respond. With great anger, Hellena pushed his hand out her face then broke the phone across his.

Falling to the floor, the man dropped his gun. Hellena grabbed it and pointed it in his face before he could rise from the ground.

“Once again," she said, "proof! Everyone fails ya when you need them the most.”

‘RICK KACEY INC FILL YOUR LEAD WITH US’ Using the young man’s gun, Hellena forced the man to his boss’ office. With great confidence, she invited herself in to see the back of a muscular man who sat in an exquisite executive chair which was quite out of place for such a modest office. The boss stared out the window as he spoke on the phone. Hellena continued into the office as she pushed the young man ahead of her.

The boss spun around in his chair to see who dared waltz, uninvited, into his office. Seeing a woman with a gun and his employee made him interested. He whispered into his phone, “I’ll call you back.”

The muscular man was handsome and stylish. A black man with no swag per se, but with every bit of dignity and charm as Obama and all the power of Trump's delusional mind. He had a smile that would stop any woman’s heart…any woman, that is, without a gun. He asked, “may I be of assistance?”

“Sit down,” she instructed the young man. Then she sayed to the boss, “is this yours?”

“I've never seen him before in my life,” he sayed never changing his expression and never taking his eyes off Hellena.

“Are you Rick Kacey?”

“No.” She lookef at Rick’s name plate on his desk which read “Rick Kacey, CEO Rick Kacey Inc.” Rick picked up the name plate and put it in his desk drawer.

“May I see your cell phone, please," she asked.

“My cell phone?”

“With your special app open and accessible to me, please?” Rick did nothing. “It would be helpful. I broke your employee’s phone across his face.”

Rick looked at the young man and smirked a little, wanting not to laugh at the boy’s failure. He handed her the phone. She looked it over.

“Can you go to… oh dear… what was her name,” she asks the young man?

“Veronica Stacey.”

“Veronica Stacey.” Rick did. Afterwards, her he looked up at Hellena. “Now, does that woman look like me?”

Rick looked at the picture again and frowned. “No!” He looked at the young man. “You think all black people look alike, son?”

“No!” The young man slouches in the chair like a scolded teenager.

“Thank you for your assistance, Mr. Kacey.” She shot the young man in the head, emptied the gun of its magazine, then threw the gun on Rick's desk.

Rick, shocked, looked at the dead employee in the chair across from him, at the gun on his desk, then at Hellena.

“Looks like you need a new employee.” Without missing a beat, she turned and left his office.

Hellena must have made quite the impression on the famed Rick Kacey. He used his influence to find her and make her a special part on his team. But, it was I who defeated him and changed all the rules. Goodtimes. Ain't we lucky we gott'em.

STORY BY JEANNÉ WYNNE HERRING "HELLENA/LOLITA GENTRY" WAS MODELED BY JEANNÉ WYNNE HERRING PHOTOGRAPHY BY GENERIC PHOTOGRAPHY

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