Turbulent Beginnings

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TURBULENT BEGINNINGS art and writing by Wong Xiu Hui

/ˈt3ːbjʊlənt/ a personal reflection.

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The idea of originality, is so warped in this age. Being exposed to online media constantly and the number of works out there, one way or another, the image of these works stick to our mind, and will inspire us to create something, putting our own touch to the initial work. Not saying that there is no original idea these days, but as a new illustration student, I admit that my ideas are inspired from different works out there, but to learn, we have to start from somewhere, and this is how I learn. All ideas begin from somewhere, and the initial start, I believe is turbulent, there is always this struggle when coming up with somethinng, and this struggle I do go through as well.

Turbulent beginnings summarises my first module in illustration, be it sleepless nights, a sudden creative block, and rejections. To me, turbulent beginnings are what all creative individuals share in common and they are what all creatives learn from and grow, be it mentally or skill-wise, with each struggle that they go through.

Most of the works do have a shared theme to the word “turbulent�, directly and indirectly, as turbulent is a strong summary of what i went through in this first module, the strong feelings related to this word, I believe, has translated to some of the works featured.

On a side note, if any of the pieces seem familiar, it is only a coincidence and I do not mean to offend any artist out there. The works are all purely inspired by something, somewhere.

I can’t confidently say that they are all from my head, straight out from my imagination, but they are genuine.

Let me engage in a silent conversation with you.

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content

Personality — personification exercise do you know what I’m like?

Voice — onomatopoiea exercise do you know how i sound?

Vision — metaphor exercise do you know what I see?

Philosophy — word interpretation exercise do you know how i think?

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turbulent beginnings

personalities — personification exercise

personification exercise

Do you know what I’m like?

Am I brave or just a coward? Do I like to smile, or give a frown?

Do you find me fun, or maybe a little dull?

Personality. It is what helps one understand the other which allows us to connect with one another. It is what engages the viewer to a piece of work, it is what allows a viewer to feel familiar with it as if understanding another human.

The personification exercise forces one to create a personality for the work at hand, and the characters I’ve created, are based on what I felt the personality of the word is like. Interestingly, as the characters reflect what i felt about the word, they also contain bits and pieces of my personality. In this exercise, I believe it is more about the expression and pose of the character which is key to bringing out the personality of a piece, and therefore that was what I used to translate the character out.

personification exercise

sketches

personification exercise

Exploration At its purest and basic form, these characters are given a personality, behind each personality is me and my thoughts for each character. Here are some of the sketches out of the 20 that I’ve done. Even though they are just characters, but fundamentally like all illustration design, they possess a message.

personification exercise

finishes

personification exercise

Justice-Artist — sometimes justice is through action and not words alone I believe justice is more of an act than an expression of words.

Sometimes an “action” can speak and deliver so much more compared to a paragraph and when it comes to voicing out strong opinions, especially my views of the world, the injustice that remains, I would rather create an impactful piece of art (the action) to bring my message across, then to only rely on speech. And therefore I chose to match the word ‘artist’ to ‘justice’.

personification exercise

Justice-Reporter — Politics. A game?

Following on the word choice, “justice”, the previous character emphasizes my belief in justice through actions, but this character, reflects the combination of both justice through actions and justice through words, and the role of a “reporter” in today’s age, reflects so closely to this ideal act of justice, which is action and words.

Action through journalism photography and words through the witty writing and eloquent articulation of reporters, such traits a must in the profession. It is the ideal that I so admire and which to be the same.

personification exercise

Internet-Warrior — like the keyboard warrior masked by the internet with its anonymous status, my rage is often hidden by a facade.

Look at the comments on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter...any social media, and you can spot a keyboard warrior( anonymous people on the internet who passionately argue with other netizens).

The idea of being anonymous on the internet is like putting up a facade and not letting others know one’s true identity, and for me, this facade masks all form of indesireable emotion that I don’t wish to portray in real life. Concentrating on the pose, the idea of having the word “warrior” combine with “internet” is to give a sense of appluad to these keyboard warriors that can so passionately argue their views just like how a warrior passionately defends its own.

personification exercise

Internet-Professor — As of 2014, the internet is 45 years old...

Researching on how old is Internet, and if internet was a human, I tried depicting him as someone around his 40s-50s yet again he looks older because of all the “processing” he has to do each and everyday. But at the same time, Internet possesses this certain elegance because of its complexity and therefore the character wears neatly and formally. To me, the internet is respectable (like an elderly) and he is like a professor, ask him anything and he’ll know it, like how one google searches. Therefore, I combines the words, “internet” and “professor.”

personification exercise

Travel-Adventurer — To travel, is to venture the world, discover what one doesn’t know and be constantly looking forward to each day.

To me, travel is freedom. A character representing travel should be as free as a bird and therefore the wings, and be as curious as a kid, and therefore the expression on the face. Coupled with adventurer, both words match each other splendidly and this character reflects my constant love for travel, constant curiosity for a new adventure each day and the reward of freedom through the travels and the adventure.

personification exercise

Japan-Gardener — The autumn air is as subtle and as wonderful as the inhabitants of the land.

Based on the colour theme of my favourite season, autumn, and the country I love, Japan, this work simply reflects the beauty of japan, through the beauty of the character and her subtle yet simple poise. The gardener symbolisation is my hope for the country to preserve its beauty of the autumn season, like how a gardener looks after his plants with so much care and love.

personification exercise

China-Politician — Politics. A game?

Politics is often a controversial issue, and I personally do not like to dwell in politics. However, politics let’s us see the world in a bigger scale and to see the world as a whole, would mean the broadening of our horizons. One issue that has always been in my mind, is about the politicians in China. Why the chinese politician is depicted as a baby, as the country to me seem to be always playing with the world like how a baby plays with his toys.

Playing could either be playing fairly or unfairly but like how one is unable to understand a baby, I believe the world still cannot fully understand the political movement of China, whether they are hiding a plan, or whether they are exposing everything to the world.

personification exercise

Alien-Miner — Miners are slaves to the ground.

This character was inspired by my emphathy towards miners. To me, miners are slaves, they are slaves to the ground, risking their lives with every single trip back down to the mining den. The idea of slaves is all around us, having one serve a higher status with so little remuneration and so much at risk. An alien race could even be using the concept of slavery, where the lower statuses have to serve the higher one. Though slaves have different jobs, different risks, but one thing stays the same...their hope for freedom, and therefore this character faces far into the empty space, looking at the possibility where he can just escape.

Therfore, the Alien-Miner.

Now, maybe you know what I’m like.

Not brave nor am I a coward. I do smile and I do frown. To some, I might be fun, and to others just dull.

Like how a piece of work, is open to other interpretation aside from the initial message, a personality can appeal to one and disgust another, and here is the turbulence, the struggle.

As much as i want to let my work appeal to every single individual, like how I hope my personality is liked and embraced by everyone, however in works and in humans, there is no such thing as perfection that caters to the likes of every individual.

From this struggle to appeal, I learnt to embrace myself and my work, and not let others bring my self-esteem and my confidence in my work down.

onomatopoiea exercise

voice

— onomatopoiea exercise

onomatopoiea exercise

Do you know how I sound?

Am i fierce or am I gentle? Do I sound delighted or unhappy? Do I sound lonely or popular?

Voice. It is what catches another person’s notice, it is what makes the work call out to the viewer, as if coming across a music piece.

In the personification exercise, I concentrated on using pose and expression, in a sense ‘movement’, to bring out the personality of the piece. Like how you get to know a person through their action, which is the movement. However in this exercise, it was not about the movement, but more of the usage of elements, meaning the environment, to bring out a sound, be it a quiet place, or a scene that is loud and bustling. Like how if you put an individual in a certain environment, one can learn a lot about the individual and his personality.

The reason I needed to consider bringing out the personality of the onomotopoeia works is that it was required of me to use the images I create to tell something about myself. Thus, by creating an environment for the work using the correct elements, you will know what the piece will sound like, and hopefully, the piece speaks about my person.

onomatopoiea exercise

sketches

Exploration Creating works that could speak to another is difficult, and the process of coming up with the ideas and sketching them up is a very big obstacle. As I had to make sure, the initials of my name is included in the images, there were so many things to consider, and the exercise challenges my ability to compose and assemble a piece. These sketches are at its very initial form, where it isn’t about the detail, but the form of the subject, the surrounding environment and the composition as a whole, to bring out a sound, no matter how subtle it is, and to communicate a message about myself through the works.

onomatopoeia exercise

finishes

onomatopoeia exercise

Sand — These sands of time constantly reminds me that I will one day be at life’s end.

Can you hear my fear? With each drop of the sand, the rustle that comes with it within the hourglass, the realisation to my end increasingly scares me. It is not the end that I fear, but the regrets that come with my passing on my funeral day.

onomatopoeia exercise

onomatopoeia exercise

Locked — the path has yet to be found, it has yet to be unlocked.

Can you hear the silent woods, the sounds of the night, the rustling of the leaves, in the lonely forest?

As I wonder aimlessly, desperately trying to find the light, the correct path which I have to unlock.

At this current age, I see myself constantly lost, lost as to where to go, what decisions to make, so uneasy of my every move and each step I make. Maybe because of my inmaturity that I am still so unsure, but I believe everyone goes through this uncertainty, and I just need to constantly find my answer, never succumbing to the obstacles and infamiliarity.

onomatopoeia exercise

chained puppet — I feel as if fate is pulling its strings, planning my every encounter, my every move and my every outcome.

Can you hear the creaking of the joints? The silent stretching of the strings? That’s fate pulling and pushing, manoeuvring your every move.

Sometimes things just happen, and we have no control of it.

At times they might be a coincidence, but sometimes they feel strangely planned, as if fate has controlled you to push you to the corner and you can only comply. But the thing about being controlled by fate is that, with each encounter fate brings, you are more confident in facing it. I for one know that I become more willing to accept what happens, and like a chained puppet, chained to my puppeteer called fate, I shall let it bring me to my next obstacle.

onomatopoeia exercise

selectively muted — There’s always a time to talk, and a time to shut all opinions and the hard truth.

When you struggle, the chains clash, the clanking noises muffle the sounds from your mouth.

Sometimes it is more wise to stay silent than to rush and speak our mind. Often, I feel, people rush to speak their mind, without considering the consequences, this rush action might cause sudden disputes because of the wrong choice of words and tone when the initial reason is just to share a view. Selectively muted is about knowing when to speak and when to not and why the hands are chained, is to show that you only have one simple thing to do when you know the timing to speak is wrong, use your hands to cover your mouth and remain silent. It is a personal piece as I find words can really make or break a person, and I try to be “selectively muted” because I don’t wish to use the wrong words when I’m not fully sure as to what to say, and to avoid breaking someone else.

onomatopoeia exercise

Dream — as a girl, i dream of romantic moments, I dream of fairytales, i dream...

Can you hear me rustling in my sleep within the lovely quietness of the night? A smile on my face as I enter a dream, the sounds so lovely, so surreal.

Childish though it may sound, but dreams are inspiration to some, and they are small episodes of encouragement to me as well. After everyday beautiful dream, I feel that they can come true, it’s all up to me to make them come alive. Dreams are not childish notions, they are what gives us hope.

onomatopoeia exercise

out from the crowd — out of place not thinking that you belong You hear the people chattering, you hear the busy streets, you hear their footsteps, but the noisiest is the silence of your loneliness.

I believe everyone has had their insecurities and has felt out of place some point in their life. I’ve went through it, and I do still go through it. The thing that I constantly remember is hearing only the silence, even though the atmosphere is noisy. And I wonder, if others go through the same...

onomatopoeia exercise

fragile shell — even the hardest of shells can be penatrated, and hurt you deep within.

The cracking of the hard shell traumatizes me, the protective barrier that i rely so closely seem to be crumbling.

In life, everyone goes through hurt some way or another, and no matter how strong one is psychologically, there would always be something more intense to break that strength. However, with each break comes a new learning experience, and the experience builds the strength, for us to face harder pitfalls.

onomatopoeia exercise

baby steps — Take your time to grow, no one’s rushing you.

Like a seedling, it takes time to flly sprout and become a great tree and each and everyone takes different time to grow. For me, I find myself growing slow, but still growing, and I would like to remind myself that I don’t need to rush myself as rushing would only cause me to grow with flaws. If i’m still a seedling when everyone else is already a mighty flower, then let them be and I will, in my own way, bloom into one one day.

You now might know how I sound.

I may sound fiercely passionate to some, but calmly gentle to others. I am happy most of the time, but close to tears in certain situations, where my voice becomes shaky. I might speak as if I’m lonely and yet appeal to you as a popular individual who says “hi” to so many people. It is all based on the environment, the situation.

Like how the environment can both enhance a film scene and reveal a person’s beautiful innate character, the wrong environment can ruin the same scene and destroy the person’s image because of the wrong reaction in that situation.

The environment is the flaw, it is what causes the struggle for me as an illustrator, it is what starts the turbulence within myself in any real-life situation.

As a person, if the situation I’m in is in my favour, I can easily be in my most outgoing, most delighted state, but as life has its certain pitfalls, during these situations, it forces me to put a brave front but I still stuggle inside. As an illustration student, deciding on the environment of a piece is a challenge, it can either make or break the illustration but what I learnt from the exercise is to constantly compose and assmble to make a story work, and as how we are all flawed individually, we have to constantly fail and learn to overcome the struggle.

metaphor exercise

vision

— metaphor exercise

metaphor exercise

Do you know what I see?

Can you see the world through my eyes? Am I weeping in it, or am I smiling brightly? Is there so much pain, or so much laughter?

Is it fictional or is it realistic?

Vision. It is about the world you picture, whether it’s bleak or colourful based on the world you live and the things that happen around you. Though vision can be just literally about what you see now, it can also be what you envision your life as and in this exercise, I show you my world, and the emotions surrounding it.

metaphor exercise

sketches

metaphor exercise

Exploration This exercise was more then just assembling elements, creating environments, giving a personality...it was about telling a story, not just letting the viewer know your personality alone but your entire history, background, emotions and inner thoughts. Some pieces are very personal and contain a lot of information about my struggles, my fears, the negativity in my mind and to translate them all out to different compositions was as if I am breaking the barrier between the person viewing the work and I and fully exposing myself to a stranger.

metaphor exercise

metaphor exercise

finishes

metaphor exercise

Journey: let it take you — Though the destination might be unknown, but trust in fate let it take you on a journey, and you’ll get there eventually.

To me, the journey is not just about the destination, but the process of getting there. It contains setbacks, yes, and it also comes with so many wonderful opportunities. Yet, the journey is still like a turbulent road, like the raging waves, and all you have is that “bottle” of hope to keep you strong and take you to the very end.

metaphor exercise

metaphor exercise

Escape: almost there but we’re still trapped — their words are poison, they make you feel suffocated as you eagerly reach out for a chance to escape from the space.

Being in the creative circle for almost most of my life, the endless criticism never cease. Not only in the creative field, but in everyone’s lives. People will talk, they will speak of scornful things, they will assume without knowing the truth and they will speak from their assumption. Many a times, I feel absolutely trapped in this viciousness, trying desparately to reach out for a chance to escape, but they keep coming and they keep hurting. But what I realised, is the need for confidence, for a strong mind, a strong self-esteem, to pull one through and be given the glimmer of light, that one day, we’ll all be able to escape from the poison of words and they’ll turn into a cure.

metaphor exercise

Vulnerable: do not look at me, please...

— their eyes all judging, as they surround you, you can only hide what’s inside, but the hide is tiring, and you can only cry in the void within your own self.

Being constantly exposed to the eyes of others is tiring, the vulnerability comes with the idea of being too exposed and therefore causing more unnecessary attention to yourself. The feeling of constantly being watched, waiting for your next downfall is as if being in a horror scene, with a constant fear. There’s no where to run, because the eyes will follow, you can only remain still, and muster whatever strength left in you to hide the pain. But what I’ve learnt is not to bother about those judgemental eyes, because you are entitled to cry, you are entitled to be happy, you deserve to not be judged, and sometimes if it’s just too much, there is always people around you, good ones, that have your back.

metaphor exercise

metaphor exercise

You now might be able to see what i see.

I’d like to believe that my world is different from yours, everyone one’s world is different, i don’t mean physically, but the world in our heads.

And the thing about everything is that they are all imperfect and your world and mine are all filled with these imperfections, and these are all the little turbulences that you face or will face eventually. But in everything, there’s also the good part, and the good part is, you can control how you want to see your world, change it to how you like and how you want to live it. This is my vision of my world.

word interpretation exercise

philosophy

— word interpretation exercise

word interpretation exercise

Do you know how I think?

Philosophy. It’s about one’s values, one’s beliefs. It is one’s way of interpreting how they should act as a being, and how they should go about seeing their existence, and all the unexplainable values that science cannot offer an answer to.

When tasked to interpret the four words, i found that they can somehow connect to one another, representing the different levels at which a person connects to a piece of work, be it an editorial magazine or a piece of illustration.

Using the example of an editorial magazine and how the four words link goes like this: When a person comes across a editorial, the first thing they see is the cover, if it works, it’ll attract the reader, using catchy elements for the cover to create attention, after which, because their attention is caught this triggers the feeling of curiosity and they will flip though the contents. By doing so, the reader is now finding articles that they can connect with, establishing a common relation so as to determine the level of worth the editorial has and lastly if they realise the editorial seems to fit their taste, this result in being satisfied by what they have just found, or what they have just read and seen from the editorial.

Same goes for illustrations, they reach out to the viewers roughly in the same way. To me illustrations have to speak through stories.

word interpretation exercise

ATTENTION —

creating something that will shout at the viewer, or something that is so quiet, it draws the viewer into the silence.

There will always be something that draws a person’s attention or interest. In an illustration, I believe it is about recreating something familiar yet entirely different. Different people are attracted to different elements of a piece of work, in an illustration some might be drawn to the colour, some might be drawn to the visual elements, some just the piece as a whole. But what is constant is that to capture attention sometimes a sense of emotion should be evoked from the work or a touch of sound like a music composition. In all, a meaningful story. As an illustration student, stories don’t come easily, and to be constantly inspired to capture other people’s attention, I myself believe that I have to give attention to what is happening around me, the stories of the world. Not going as far as the political and economical issues, though they really are important and keep us updated, but more of the social stories happening around us. About human struggles, human injustice, human joy, all things that are difficult to say in words but appropriate to bring across the message through the power of an image, through illustration. These are the stories I have to give attention to, to remember, so as to spread them to other individuals and capture theirs emotionally. As illustrators, we can know all the principles and technical methods of creating an evoking piece, but what gives that extra interest to the viewer, is the story behind the illustration and this is my take on attention.

word interpretation exercise

CURIOUSITY —

After attention comes the evoking of curiousity, it is what makes people want to be interested, the innate feeling of wanting to learn and wanting to know.

I learnt in my Year 1 as a illustration-design student that, we as creatives have to be constantly curious, curious to know about people, things, issues, basically about everything, because in everything there is always something we can learn and expand our knowledge and skill from. But this doesn’t only have to apply to creatives, it is a discipline that everyone has to practice, the will of being constantly curious to always ask why, how, when, where and what. In an illustration, when the viewer has been captured, their attention locked, we have a duty to keep them interested by evoking their curiousity. Though having the correct visual elements might help, but that is only the surface and curiousity can only go so far as the impact of the visuals, but what can engage their curiosity is to bring the viewer into to illustration.

In terms of imagery, it is the use of metaphorical comparisons that can evoke curiousity, like sad doesn’t necessarily have to be of a picture of a girl crying, but it can be of someone furiously shouting and the curious part comes when this translation of the word sad is so odd that it makes the viewer want to get to know more. As mentioned previously that the illustration should make use of a story to catch attention, the story is what makes one want to know more and it is needed to allow one to be curious of what the piece is trying to say, the rationale behind the illustration.

In this way, the illustration is not only beautiful but is thoughtprovoking and emotional. This is how curiousity speaks to me.

word interpretation exercise

RELATED —

Sometimes the most succesful of illustration pieces is one that speaks so closely to them, as if the piece and the viewer share the same feelings, the feeling of being related.

I find that the most wonderful movies give one the sense of familiarity, that causes one to think, “ Yes, I understand what he’s going through”, “I have the same struggles”, “I feel the same”... it is about the speaking through emotions and their exchange.

The same goes for my what I believe illustration should be, the conversation through feelings from the story, and the exchange of a silent dialogue as if speaking to a person and relating to one another. One might not relate to the image, but relate to the story behind. The most bazaar of images or movie can speak to a viewer, if the story it possesses makes sense and emotionally ties them to the piece. To feel the relation, is all about being open to different ideologies, emotions, themes, rationale, by being curios to know the reason after having your attention caught. This is how i relate to things and how I wish to strive to relate to people through my illustrations.

word interpretation exercise

SATISFACTION —

The sensation that touches deep within, where you find yourself fully connected to a piece and understanding everything about it.

Once going through the process of having your attention caught, finding the curiousity to understand, and the openness to relate to the illustration, what comes after can either be satisfaction or regret. I would like to aim for satisfaction as satisfaction leaves a feeling that the illustration is worth remembering, worth embracing and I believe all illustrators, no, every single person, wish to be remembered one way or another, or at least have their work loved by other people. Because after death, is not nothing, after one’s death is the memory in other people that lives on.

So satisfaction of an illustration brings about this pride and the everlasting memory of our being, knowing that we have left people satisfied and that what you want to communicate has been effectively understood. That, to me is satisfaction, and satisfaction is what I wish to give others as it is worth sharing, like how stories and messages are worth shared.

You now know who I am.

My name is Wong Xiu Hui and I am an illustration-design student. This is my personality, this is my voice, this is my vision, this is my philosophy and this is my journey. It has been a turbulent beginning, yet through the struggles, I managed to survive a strenuous road, and as i close this chapter and open the next, I will take the experience as a stepping stone towards my goal.

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