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Reinventing Yourself By Bob Cox Over the years, I’ve seen a number of people who are miserable with their current life situation but unwilling to change it for a variety of reasons. Some go on to explain how much time and energy they’ve invested into either their personal or professional lives and therefore are compelled to continue to do what they’ve always done to the bitter end. I happen to believe that we can change anything and everything about our lifestyles, but the change has to begin with ourselves. If there is a specific aspect of our personality we do not like, we have the power to replace that unwanted and negative character trait with a positive one. My wife Diana wholeheartedly agrees and her reasons are based on a monumental shift in her life around the age of 40. A few years before Diana and I met, she was experiencing the most difficult time of her life. Her jewelry sales business was hit hard by the terrible recession of the early 1990’s and her husband had suffered a stroke caused by complications from diabetes. At the time of his stroke, he was the family’s primary wage earner, so not only was his income
wiped away, Diana spent the next several months juggling the relentless responsibilities of being the family’s sole bread winner while providing constant care for her husband. Just when she thought things couldn’t get any worse, they did. The daily stress was so relentless and overwhelming, Diana began to experience chronic and debilitating migraine headaches, headaches so severe that she would spend several hours and sometimes days trapped in a dark room of absolute silence. Diana tried a variety of treatments, remedies and medications, but nothing seemed to help. Diana felt completely powerless to change her life and it was slowly killing her. Then one day a friend recommended massage therapy. Although she was very skeptical, Diana gave it a try. After the first session, she was amazed and delighted by the powerful results that delivered lasting and immediate relief. Diana was so impressed; she decided to make a 180 degree turn in her life by going for a brand new career as a massage therapist. For the next several months, Diana felt completely rejuvenated. She managed to add massage school at night to her long list of responsibilities. Tragically, just 10 days before she graduated, her husband passed away. Diana instinctively knew that she needed to put the shock and grief of his death behind her as quickly as possible in order to give herself a glimmer of hope for a brighter future. Shortly thereafter, she poured all of her energy into building up her massage business and the rewards and satisfaction she got from helping ease the physical and emotional pain of her clients was profound and life changing. Over the years, many of her clients became cherished friends and one was fortunate enough to become her husband! If there’s something in your life that’s not working for you, you owe it to yourself and the people you love to take a leap of faith and try something new. With the dawn of a new year upon us, now is a great time to wipe the slate clean and begin a fresh new adventure. A great place to start is by asking this question: What’s the most important thing I want to achieve this year? Once you get the answer, challenge any self-limiting beliefs about who you truly are and any doubts about your ability to make the necessary changes needed to align yourself with your hearts desires. You can do it, so go for it!
Bob Cox is the founder and publisher of Go For It Magazine. He can be reached by phone at (916) 266-3115. His email address is coxrobert@comcast.net. Go For It Magazine is owned and operated in Rancho Cordova, CA. Copyright © 2018. 4 GO FOR IT
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An Astronaut’s Secret to Success Chris Hadfield went blind in space, but he still found a way to complete his mission. These are his takeaways. By Austin Fabel If you’re going to work in an environment like outer space, you must be able to look fear in the eye and plan for any scenario. No one knows this better than Chris Hadfield, the first Canadian astronaut to command the International Space Station. He was awarded the NASA Exceptional Service Medal for his work. Out of Hadfield’s many fascinating experiences in outer space, going blind during his first spacewalk is by far the most well known. While floating 254 miles above the Earth’s surface, his suit became contaminated, blinding him temporarily. He was able to regain his sight and even complete his mission by utilizing his training and confronting his fear. Recently, Hadfield sat down with The Science of Success to share the biggest takeaways from his astronaut training and experiences in space. If you are trying to overcome your own fears, these tactics and mental frameworks will help you crush any goal on Earth or in space.
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1. Knowledge is power Oftentimes, fear stems simply from a lack of knowledge. “Things aren’t scary; people are just scared, and that’s a fundamental difference,” Hadfield says. While some things in life definitely warrant our fear, many of the common things people are afraid of are completely harmless. Take spiders for example. “A lot of people are afraid of spiders,” he says. “Of course, most spiders are fine. If you have no understanding of spiders at all, you treat each one you see like the most venomous spider that exists. Rather than spending your life screaming and running, why not do the research and find out how many spiders are dangerous where you live? For a lot of places in the world, you’ll find the answer is none.” If we take interest in the things we fear and try to understand them, we can gauge how rational our fear truly is. Once we have an understanding, we can create a plan to overcome those fears, or decide it’s something we should avoid.
2. Visualize failure It’s a common practice to visualize success. Imagine yourself conquering any obstacle and coming out a winner. At NASA, however, doing just the opposite is often what keeps everyone alive and leads to a successful mission. “Visualizing failure will serve you well,” Hadfield says. “We practiced over 10,000 different things going wrong. What is the most likely thing to go wrong, and am I ready to face it, and how do I know? Let’s practice that thing going wrong and see if I can deal with it.” By visualizing and planning for every possible variable that would lead to failure, you’re also helping ensure success. As Hadfield likes to say, “There’s no situation in space that’s so bad you can’t make it worse.” So next time you’re planning a project or task, think of what could go wrong and plan for it. This will keep you be clear headed, rational and able to make the right call even in the worst of circumstances. 3. Don’t exaggerate Always tell it like it is. Not only to those around you, but to yourself as well. “Everybody wants to feel significant. One of the ways to increase your own significance is to exaggerate accomplishments or problems that exist,” Hadfield says. When we exaggerate, we feel good about what we have accomplished or what we have overcome. A side effect you may not intend is that you shift the perception of the obstacle or triumph in the eyes of everyone listening. If you play up how difficult a certain task was, you may cause others to plan incorrectly or focus on the wrong things, which can lead to disaster.
assume your influence is always the deciding factor, you not only come off poorly to other group members, but may end up having a negative impact on the project. “I try to be more realistic in my own abilities. I try to come into a new situation deliberately saying I’m going to aim to be a zero here,” he says. “I’m going to give myself time to notice what’s actually happening, to become informed, and be more selective and deliberate in how I am going to try to be a positive influence.” By using Hadfield’s method of being a zero and suppressing your ego, you can come into any situation and add value. While you may never find yourself blind in outer space, these tactics will help you overcome fear of the unknown and be successful in anything you do.
4. Aim to be a zero When you’ve achieved a certain level of success, you begin to build up confidence in yourself. Confidence can be a great asset and open a lot of doors, but you can never assume that you’re always going to be right or add value. Sometimes, it’s best to sit back and learn more before pushing your opinion. “When I was younger, I always called myself a plus one,” Hadfield says. “I thought no matter what I did, I’d come in as a positive influence.” The problem is that oftentimes in work and life, scenarios are more complicated than we initially think. If you let your ego come into play and
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The Lighter Side of Shade By Bob Cox “Her attitude was amazing. When Dan and Ann WilmI’ve always believed that a posioth sat down with her doctor tive attitude can change things five years ago to hear the refor the better and in health I tosults of her biopsy, the power tally believe it. Those treatments of that awful six letter word beat you down, wear you out, shook the couple to their core: turn you upside down but she CANCER. After explaining the never let it get her down and I intricacies of her stage 3 breast didn’t let it get her down. And cancer, Ann’s oncologist folthat was the only thing I could lowed up by asking her if she do, be her coach. I couldn’t wanted to know what her take her cancer from her, which chances were. The words that The showroom at Sierra Sunscreens & Patio Covers gives customers I would have done in a second. came out of Dan’s mild man- a place to review a variety of quality shade protection products. All I could do was be her coach, nered and soft spoken wife left lift her up but she didn’t take him in stunned silence when she exclaimed with unwavermuch lifting. She has incredible faith”, explained Dan. ing confidence, “It doesn’t really matter. I’m going to beat Dan credits four things that helped them overcome this. Let’s get started!” this insidious disease: faith, a positive attitude, great docAfter thoroughly vetting a number of cancer specialists, tors and lots of laughter. Instinctively, Dan knew that one Dan and Ann chose an impressive team of doctors, who of his greatest strengths, his terrific sense of humor was laid out a thorough and comprehensive treatment plan. vital to Ann’s survival as the couple traversed through hostile Over the next three years, the brutally tough surgery and uncharted territory. treatments would test the strength and faith of this couple Dan added all the household chores to his already long unlike anything else they had experienced during their 40 list of responsibilities as a full time business owner. One day, years of marriage. while he was on an early morning grocery shopping expedition, the enormity of the situation hit Dan like a bolt of lightning. With tears streaming down his face, a clerk came rushing to his aid and asked him what was wrong. “I can’t find the mayonnaise! The clerk said sir, please; I’ll help you find the mayonnaise. Here it is. Do you need anything else? Yes, I need some olives”, Dan recalled with laughter. From the ashes of this incredible ordeal, Dan was left with a profound desire to give back to those in need. As the owner of Sierra Sunscreens and Patio Covers in Rancho Cordova, when Dan learned about how one of his customer’s pregnant wife had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, he not only offered consoling words of wisdom to the young man, he practically gave away the patio cover that his family needed to protect his wife from the harmful rays of the sun. The young husband was moved by tears of gratitude.
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Q: Is there anything else you do to insure that the project goes smoothly? A: Yes, I personally meet with every installer before we go out on a project. I go over all aspects of the job with them. With subcontractors, that isn’t always the case. My guys are trained to communicate with customers and some are bilingual.
From start to finish, you will be impressed by the friendly and knowledgeable service from Sierra Sunscreens & Patio Covers.
Dan is 100% committed to quality and not just his personal life but his professional life as well. I spoke to Dan about his steadfast determination to offer the very best of himself to the world. Q: What’s new and exciting at Sierra Sunscreens and Patio Covers? A: Well Bob; let me tell you, nothing (Dan laughed). Honestly, I can say that we run into many customers that have lost their yards from the drought and are looking for synthetic turfs. After looking at various quality companies to fulfill that need, I found Ryan McConnell, who is the owner of “The Turf Man”. We’ve partnered on several jobs and it worked out very well. Synthetic turf is very important in today’s environment as it conserves water, saves energy, requires no maintenance and stays beautiful all year.
Q: Do your customers have greater peace of mind knowing that you are 100% responsible for their project? A: Yes. I would say 9 out of 10 times a customer doesn’t even know that their contractor has subbed out the labor for the work. Many companies sub out labor to avoid paying workmen’s comp or liability insurance, leaving the consumer with greater potential risk. Q: Is there anything else that separates Sierra from the competition? A: Yes, We’ve been in business 36 years and serviced over 10,000 customers. Longevity is a measure of treating the marketplace right. In other words, you don’t stay in business for 36 years if you haven’t treated your customers well. Editor’s notes: For more information about Sierra Sunscreens & Patio Covers, call (916) 635-9706, visit their showroom at 3345 Sunrise Bl. in Rancho Cordova or visit their website at www.sierrashadeproducts.com.
Q: Will you tell us about the history of Sierra Sunscreens & Patio Covers? A: Sierra Sunscreens was established in 1982 and the purpose of the business was to provide sunscreens for a growing number of new homes in Sacramento which needed protection from the sun. Q: Why did you choose to offer other shade products? A: When the market of new homes slowed down, we chose to diversify. Today we have vertical roll down shades, patio covers, sunrooms, screen rooms and retractable awnings. Q: What’s your company’s philosophy when it comes to doing other home improvement projects? A: Our philosophy is to do a few things and do them better than anybody else. People often ask us to do other things, including landscaping, but we’ve chosen to focus on a few things and do them very well. Q: What do you do to provide superior quality? A: We’ve separated our business with the quality of the people we hire. Our employee based staff is extensively trained. All of our installers have been with the company at least 9 years and some have been here over 20 years. Employees are directed by our management team, so we control the timing of our projects, the quality of the installation and the service after the sale. January 2018
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Attitude Is Everything Here’s How to Keep it Positive John C. Maxwell I am not much of a TV watcher, and when I do tune in, I’m usually half-watching, half-working on something else. But sometimes you learn things from unexpected places, and it so happens that a recent Gatorade commercial grabbed my attention. The ad shows some of the world’s best athletes, like Michael Jordan and Peyton Manning, remarking on their failures-Jordan’s inability to make his high school varsity team, Manning’s abysmal rookie season-and how those defeats redoubled their drive. What a powerful message. Even Atlanta Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan makes an appearance, acknowledging his team’s mind-blowing, fourth-quarter Super Bowl fall to the Patriots in 2017 and implying that he, too, would grow from the experience. This is the time of the year when we think about recharging, renewing and redefining ourselves. People this month will do anything, from joining a gym to embarking on a spiritual retreat. “Whether you are 15 years old or 50, your outlook toward life is always under construction.”
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These are worthy endeavors, but there’s a more lifealtering change we can make in the mode of those superstar athletes. What each of them has done is adjust their attitudes. They see life through a positive lens, no matter what it throws their way. That optimism fuels them, focuses them, and allows them to put setbacks in perspective. Attitude can be our best friend or worst enemy, the librarian of our past, the speaker of our present and the prophet of our future. In short, I believe attitude is the biggest determinant of our quality of life. There are people who seem perpetually perky and whose good nature appears as innate as their eye color. But attitude is not a fixed state. Whether you are 15 years old or 50, your outlook toward life is always under construction. It’s never too late to change it. If your attitude is deflating you, here’s how to pump it up. 1. Evaluate your current attitude This is the hardest step in the process. You need to detach from yourself and take a hard look at how you respond to situations. • Identify your problem feelings. What attitudes make you feel most negative about yourself?
• Identify your problem behaviors. What actions create conflict between you and others? • Identify your problem thinking. What thoughts cloud or control your mind? 2. Write a statement of purpose If your biggest flaw is impatience with others, for example, vow to take a deep breath, listen to them more carefully and develop empathy—an ability to see situations through other people’s eyes. If your downfall is complaining, learn to smile, speak positive words, or if all else fails, silence yourself entirely. 3. Find new words If you were trying to motivate other people; you’d pump them up, wouldn’t you? You’d offer words of support, encouragement and inspiration. Do you do the same for yourself? So many people I’ve met, people with tremendous potential, shortchange themselves with a self-defeating internal voice. I can’t. I doubt. I don’t think. I don’t have the time. I’m afraid. I don’t believe. This self-doubt darkens our attitudes, limits our success and casts a shadow over our lives. The fix is easy: Change the language. I can. I expect the best. I know. I’ll make the time. I am confident. I believe.
I see habit change as a process, so don’t dismay if you don’t see results overnight. The early stages will be the hardest. Those bad habits want to remain in control. In the middle stages, you’re on the proverbial fence, deciding whether to step fully onto the other side or tumble back into your old ways. In the late stage, you’ve successfully corrected a flaw and are enjoying the attitudinal shift that comes with it. But beware: Complacency is the enemy. Just ask anyone who has lost weight only to gain it back. Back to that Gatorade commercial, where tennis great Serena Williams looks dead-on at the camera, steely-eyed. Her secret to victory was being “on the wrong side in the biggest upset of your sport,” a reference to her stunning fall in the 2015 U.S. Open to Roberta Vinci, an unseeded player from Italy. Two years later, she became the only tennis player, man or woman, to win 23 singles Grand Slam titles in the Open era. “I’ve had to learn to fight all my life—got to learn to keep smiling,” she says. “If you smile, things will work out.”
4. Rewire your thought patterns Our feelings come from our thoughts. We can change them by changing our thought patterns. It’s our thoughts, not our circumstances that determine our happiness. Often, people are convinced they will be happy when they attain a certain goal. When they do, they are surprised and disappointed to discover that they don’t feel fulfilled. What they don’t realize is the act of filling one’s mind with good thoughts every day, regardless of what’s going on in their lives, will bring more overall satisfaction than the one-time high of a job well done. 5. Develop good habits An attitude is nothing more than a habit of thought. Habits aren’t instincts; they’re acquired actions. They don’t just happen; they are caused. Many people allow their habits to control them. That’s good if the habits enhance our quality of life. If not, well, life becomes cloudy indeed. You can change your habits. Here’s how: • List your bad habits. • Determine the root cause(s) behind them. • Determine a positive habit to replace a bad one. • Take action to develop that. • Act upon this new habit daily. • Reward yourself by noting one of the benefits of this new habit. January 2018
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How to Live Life to the Fullest By Mick Ukleja If I want to get an idea of a person’s desire to grow and develop, I ask a simple question: “Are you satisfied with your life right now?” If the answer is, “I’m very satisfied, very content with where I am,” I come to the conclusion that there is very little potential for future growth. Being content is only part of life’s equation for happiness. But when contentment is used as a tool to “cap off” growth, it becomes detrimental. Desire is the first key to personal growth. Whenever you learn, feel or know something, desire was already there waiting. It’s the vehicle that carries you where you need to go. I would love to light a fire under some people, but I soon discover that I’ve run out of matches! They aren’t going anywhere, and that’s OK. It’s their choice and not my responsibility. I’m not responsible for something over which I have no control. It’s OK, and I’ll love them where they are. For me personally, I still have passion. I have desires. I’m not all that I want to be nor have I accomplished all that I want to accomplish. That fire within you and me is called desire. The philosophers call it existential angst, the desire to make our lives count by making a difference. I had the privilege of interviewing Coach John Wooden on his 96th birthday. I asked him this question: “Coach, you are 96 today. How do you stay so enthusiastic and passionate about life?” His answer: “Mick, the day your past becomes more exciting than your future is the day you start to die.” That thought has stuck like a piece of shrapnel in my brain. So keep the engines stoked. This is what I call a healthy dissatisfaction¹, as we enjoy the present and live each day to the fullest. Your desire will get you out of the comfort zone where no growth takes place. Contentment and satisfaction are good things, but they were never intended to be synonyms for petrified, fossilized or calcified. At times, our desire lights on the dashboard of our lives grow dim. Those are the times when you keep the engine running. Eventually you will see your desire meter rev up and you are on your way! Napoleon Hill said, “The starting point of all achievement is desire.” Weak desires bring weak results. Just as weak fires leave us a little cold. And they’re not much to look at either. One other tip: Avoid the flame busters. This is the crowd that doesn’t have a desire to get out of their “comfort zone” and wonder why you’re pushing yourself forward. If your desire is low, check the company you’re keeping. 12 GO FOR IT
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“A ship in the harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.” —William Shedd As children, we had lots of ideas about what we wanted to do when we grew up. A child’s imagination isn’t restricted by the boundaries of age, inexperience, education and parental control. They just imagine the future they want, and it’s fueled by desire. But it’s easy to let the restrictions of adulthood get in the way of doing what we desire. So we douse the desire or the dream. Many of our boundaries are self-imposed. So here’s the bottom line up front: While you’re thinking, think big! You can always act small later. The real danger starts by putting limitations on your thinking. In our attempt to be practical, we often play it too safe. Use the following questions to help break the imagination gridlock: What are the things you would like to do well? What are the experiences you would like to have? What do you want to start doing right now? What are five nonnegotiable values in your life? What things, events or activities make you feel fully alive? What have you let slide? Why? What can you do now to reverse that? Healthy Dissatisfaction: Starting each day with thanksgiving for what you are and have, knowing your life is better than you deserve, yet realizing your life is not all you want it to be. It’s a combination of contentment and desire. Here’s the formula: Healthy Dissatisfaction = Contentment + Desire.
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Storyboard your 2018 No... it’s not a new snow sport but a way to achieve your goals in the coming year! You may have heard of Dreamboarding*.. A dreamboard (or vision board) is a visual tool that serves as a visual representation and reminder of your dreams and your ideal life. (A picture’s worth 1000 words!) In addition, some people believe that a dreamboard activates the Law of Attraction* and Reticular Activation*. Many successful people practice this. This is your WHY. Storyboarding* is breaking the coming year into segments; much like how movie-makers visualize scenes in a movie. What does the end of the first quarter of 2018 look like: what have you done, who do you know. what have you learned, where are you living/working, how do you spend your time? This is the HOW to get to the results you want. You can create a collage (like the one on the right) to represent the things you want in your life. You can post * Visit BobsPocket.com for links to these references, Bob’s bio, past blogs, and more!
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this on your wall or, what I did, was take a picture of this and use this as my screen saver on my computer... As they say, “out of sight is out of mind” and by keeping your dreams in front of you every day, you will be reminded, every day, of your commitment to the HOW and your WHY! I’ve mentioned in past articles that one of my favorite words is IMAGINEER (coined by Walt Disney). Dream/Storyboarding is an implementation of this process: IMAGINE what you want and then ENGINEER its manifestation. Another strategy is to share your dreamboard with others... Accountability is a great way to help you stay on track... Now, time to get your BOARD ON! *I’ve posted links and a video on this process and some of the terms above at BobsPocket.com.
A Need e of Hope, Part 2 By Bob Cox After five intense treatments with Last month, I shared a very perDr. Roc, Zack eagerly shared his expesonal story about our Grandson Zack, riences with me. “It’s been very physiwho three years ago nearly lost his life cally and mentally relieving. It’s also in a horrific motorcycle accident. Afbeen spiritually rejuvenating and emoter a dozen surgeries and numerous tional relaxing. Dr. Roc is personal, treatments and medications, Zack was friendly, professional and very undertrapped in a nightmare of chronic and standing about my severe circumrelentless pain. stances. I feel energized, renewed and During his three year merry-gothe long-term effects have changed round of misery, the greatest chalmy way of thinking for the better”, lenge Zack endured was constant explained Zack. sleep deprivation caused by relentDr. Roc took the time during their less pain. Recently, he was diagfirst session to really get to know as much nosed with a relatively new but rap- With the extraordinary efforts of his mom about Zack as possible and has executed idly growing disease called fibro- Shauna, numerous surgeons and a terrific a thorough and comprehensive treatteam of health care professionals, especially ment plan that has given Zack a much myalgia. Symptoms of fibromyalgia Dr. Roc Gantt, Zack’s quality of life is slowly brighter outlook about the present as well include chronic widespread body and steadily improving. as the future. Zack’s also eager to share pain, moderate to extreme fatigue, his positive experience with people afflicted with fibromyalsleep disturbances, sensitivity to touch, light, sound and gia, migraine headaches and any other chronic pain ailments. a number of other debilitating symptoms. The disorder Editor’s notes: Dr Roc Gantt is the owner of Natural affects an estimated 10 million people in the U.S. and over Health Clinic in Sacramento. He is a Naturopathic Doctor, a 200 million people worldwide, according to the National Doctor of Oriental Medicine and a Board Certified AcupuncFibromyalgia Association (NFA). When Zack told my wife Diana and me last month turist. He was introduced to natural medicine after an injury that the only thing that consistently gave him relief was he suffered while parachuting with his special forces unit at an 8,000 year old Chinese practice called acupuncture, we Fort Bragg, North Carolina. He has studied and practiced quickly made arrangements for Zack to get regular weekunder the finest teachers from around the world and is comly treatments from our friend Dr. Roc Gantt, the owner of mitted to giving his patients the best care possible. Natural Health Clinic in Sacramento. After the first treatFor more information about Natural Health Clinic, ment, Zack was thrilled by the amazing results, so I call (916) 349-9223, stop by their office at 5500 Madifollowed up with him recently to see how he was doing son Ave. Suite A in Sacramento or visit their website at under the care of Dr. Roc. www.drgantt.com.
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