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Trusting in Trust By Bob Cox On a sleepy Sunday not so long ago, my wife Diana came into the bedroom with the sweet sound of excitement in her voice as I was slowly waking up. She explained how she had an amazing discovery to share with me in the living room, so I knew I was in for a treat! I eagerly crawled out of bed and wobbled down our narrow hallway and after a quick detour to the restroom; I traversed the final few steps until I sank into my favorite recliner next to Diana. She looked into my eyes and said, “I’ve been watching this powerful TV program and it’s going to change everything!” I rewound the show called Super Soul Sunday to the beginning and watched Oprah Winfrey interviewing Iyanla Vanzant about the powerful insights in her newest book titled Trust. Iyanla went on to explain that the key to her transformation from an abused and fearful child into a confident, wise and compassionate adult was rooted in what she calls the four essential trusts: 1. Trust in self 2. Trust in God 3. Trust in Others 4. Trust in Life. As I listened to the soul searching conversation between these two very enlightened women, I knew instantly that their perceptions of life closely matched mine. Iyanla believes that the foundation for creating a better life begins
with a deeply rooted core of trust in yourself. Trust in yourself sounds like an easy thing to do, so why is it so hard to achieve? Like Iyanla, I believe that the seeds of self doubt are planted in the fertile soil of our earliest memories. As children, we were taught to always listen to and follow the instructions of people that were older and more experienced. If we failed to follow their rules and do what we wanted, there would typically be a price to pay for such disobedience. In an ideal world, each child would be gradually given more freedom to make more decisions. If one of those decisions has a positive outcome, the adults in the room would enthusiastically lead a celebration. On the other hand; if the result was negative, those adults would share their insights while guiding the child through their decision making process until the child discovers exactly where the plan went awry. From the ashes of our mistakes, an even mightier forest rises. If you want to create a healthier and happier life for yourself and the ones you love, take my advice and follow Iyanla’s advice: TRUST YOURSELF. This advice may be hard to follow, but trust me...no trust Iyanla...no, trust your own inner voice of wisdom, which will set you free from the dreaded demons of self doubt. Whenever you’re faced with a difficult decision to make, is your mind relentlessly pounded by the disturbing voices of self doubt? If it is, imagine those voices coming from a small childhood version of yourself and be the adult in the room. Listen to those concerns carefully, without fear, guilt, shame or judgment. Once all the concerns are out, listen to your wise inner voice and come up with a plan to make a quality choice. Trust yourself and then go for it! Bob Cox is the founder and publisher of Go For It Magazine. He can be reached by phone at (916) 266-3115. His email address is coxrobert@comcast.net. Go For It Magazine is owned and operated in Rancho Cordova, CA. Copyright © 2018.
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4 Ways to Actively Reprogram Your Thoughts By Michael Pietrzak 2. Breathe heavily in and “He can’t help it; he’s set out through your nose for in his ways.” The folk wisdom three sets of 30 breaths. that adults can’t change is 3. On each out breath, pull being challenged by new reyour arms downward, making search. Our personality is not fists. cast in stone in childhood; the 4. After three sets, feel gratibrain is highly reprogrammatude and self-love. ble at any age. Neuroplasticity refers to the In the resulting state, you brain’s ability to form new neucan easily plant healthy new ral pathways, interconnections thoughts and beliefs in your between parts of our nervous mind. system. This happens after injury but also in response to our environment, thoughts and Best selling author and motivational speaker Tony Robbins emotions. As with building muscle, teaches his audience about the power of the priming method. the more we “work out” cerHuman behavior specialist Dr. John Demartini also uses tain neural pathways, the stronger they become. Robust neuroplasticity to reprogram the brain. He asks his clients a pathways become our favored psychological “highways.” series of questions to help them neutralize negative emoWe can generate more happiness, calm and kindness in our tional charges and replace them with emotional equiliblife simply by practicing these emotions. rium. Throughout our lives, we have unwittingly used this His method alters several structures of the brain, includtechnique to program negative emotions, but we can do ing the hypothalamus and amygdala, which are responsible the same for patience, love, passion and joy. for expressions of fear, guilt and aggression. How many of you know something intellectually but fail How does it work? When facing a challenging situation, to apply that wisdom? You know jealousy will push your Gibson says, “Question the situation itself and ask what partner away, but you get angry when they talk to the opgood comes from it.” Look for the benefits, because there’s posite sex for too long, anyway. always at least one. “When judgment or negativity comes up, it means your Maybe your enormous strength, which you value so internal dialogue is off,” says Thais Gibson, a personal degreatly, comes from a parent abandoning you as a child velopment expert. or a physical illness? Seeing the good can help you drop Thankfully there is a simple fix. “Your subconscious mind unhelpful beliefs quickly. works more through feeling than language,” Gibson says. By leveraging strong emotion, we create a direct line to the operating instructions of your subconscious. Think about a time you were incredibly angry or hurt and changed a belief that you now hold? In my case, when “Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind I lost a business deal, I used my anger to replace an attachand nourish with repetition and ment to one specific version of success. Here are four methods you can use to train yourself to emotion will one day become a reality.” think and feel anything: —Earl Nightingale
2. The Demartini Method
3. Affirmations
1. Tony Robbins’ Priming Method Tony Robbins says emotion is created by motion. A change in your physical “state” will change how you feel. Last month I attended his Unleash the Power Within seminar and learned about priming, which harnesses this principle. Here’s how it works: 1. Sit down with your eyes closed and raise your hands above your head. 6 GO FOR IT
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Over time we can become set in our ways. Repetitive thinking leads to stronger connections between neurons, and the brain defaults to these deeper pathways. We get stuck in a rut. But there is hope. It’s possible to be the architect of our own Scrooge-like metamorphosis using affirmations: phrases repeated often and daily. Our subconscious is the factory that generates many of our thoughts—positive and negative—and can be reprogrammed not only with strong emotion but also through repetition. Affirmations lodge new operating instructions into your subconscious the same way that listening to a song on repeat will leave it stuck in your head for days.
want works well for quickly getting your dream job, house or relationship, but it can also work for attracting healthy emotions. If you consistently visualize yourself reacting to challenges with calm and compassion, you will manifest this behavior. Take time every day to visualize yourself having the emotional resilience or the positive beliefs that you want. With even five minutes of daily practice, you will start to see powerful Visualization is an excellent way to reprogram your thoughts. change. After 15 years, I still meditate at least 10 minutes each day. But after 15 years, I still struggle with insecurity, fear and anger. I had little choice but to seek out a way to actively install new patterns. “What you imagine, you create.” Meditation pulls me out of the stream, but with the new tools, I’m building a boat to better navigate the flow with—Buddha out getting soaked. You can do the same, but be patient— you’ve taken a lifetime to wear in your neural grooves. ConVisualization works like affirmations to rewire our sistent and skilful practice is the way. neurons and attract the thoughts and feelings we want. Have patience; you’ve got this. Vividly imagining yourself doing or having whatever you
Tony Robbins bridges the gap between repetition and emotion. His “incantations” are affirmations done with explosive emotion and conviction. If your affirmation is “I am a persuasive speaker,” then your incantation would be the same words, shouted while beating your chest and jumping around. The idea here, upheld by the science of neuroplasticity, is that our brains are more susceptible to reprogramming under conditions of heightened emotion.
4. Visualization
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Dining in the Dark By Bob Cox guest chef at the Dining in the Dark When Christine Ha decided to parevent. ticipate in the third season of Master I spoke with Paul recently to learn Chef U.S. on Fox, she knew that the more about how his organization is odds were stacked against her. Not helping nearly one million blind and only would she be competing against low vision residents of California. 30,000 other aspiring chef’s, she was the first blind person to enter the conQ: What’s your experience been test! Joe Bastianich, a judge on Maslike with the the California Council terChef, summed up Christine’s miof the Blind? raculous victory quite nicely... A: It has been “eye opening” to Midway through this year’s compesay the least. Prior to coming on tition, my money would not have been board in 2016, I had never directly on Christine for the win – and not just interacted with someone who was because of her disability – because she Christine Ha defied the odds to become the first blind or had low vision. Now after just didn’t come across as the typical blind contestant to enter and win MasterChef! being immersed in their culture, chalfrontrunner. With Christine, slow and lenges and accomplishments, I am steady won the race. She subtly climbed her way to the top proud to call them “my extended California family”. If there by performing consistently well, triumphing over her own selfwas only one thing that I could stress to your readers is that doubt, all the while maintaining her signature grace and inpeople who are blind and low vision are just like you; they tegrity. It was thrilling to watch. And I can say with absolute work, have college degrees, raise families, play sports and confidence there was no one more deserving. pay taxes. They just do these things without the ability to When the California Council of the Blind decided to see like we do. The preconceived notions that people have hold its annual statewide convention at the Sacramento and the images that we receive from the media about blind Marriott in Rancho Cordova from March 22-25, their people are completely off base. CEO Paul Shane decided to reach out to Christine to see if The California Council of the Blind turns 84 years old she was willing to lend her culinary skills to the cause. in 2018 and prior to my appointment was made up enChristine eagerly accepted the invitation and will be the tirely of blind and low vision volunteers from all corners of California who have accomplished many amazing feats and overcome barriers that most people would consider to be insurmountable. But don’t take my word for it, come out to our convention at the Sacramento Marriott Rancho Cordova and see for yourselves. We have many exciting events to participate in and extensive volunteer opportunities for people of all ages and backgrounds. Q: What is your organization’s primary function and mission? A: The California Council of the Blind is an 84-year-old grassroots non-profit advocacy and service delivery membership organization with chapters and affiliates across California. We come from all walks of life and work collaboratively to improve the quality of life for all Californians who are blind or have low vision. Our vision is that the culture, laws, programs, and attitudes throughout California are inclusive of all people, especially persons who are blind or have low vision. Our mission is to increase the independence, security, equality of opportunity and quality of life for all Californians who are blind or have low vision. Q: What has your organization done that our readers may be familiar with? A: Some of the things you may be most acquainted with include: 1. Establishing the White Cane Law that gave people who are blind and low vision the right to travel independently and gave pedestrians who are blind and low vision the right-of-way on California streets. 2. Working collaboratively with financial institutions to bring about the installation of the first talking ATM’s in the country. 8 GO FOR IT
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Q: What do you need to make this convention a success? A: The first thing that we need is for people to buy tickets to support the various events that we have scheduled. We have no grants or government support and rely solely on the generosity of the public to fuel our mission and accomplishments. The second greatest need that we have is for volunteers! We need to recruit 305 community volunteers to make this event Q: Please tell us about the Dining in the a rousing success. Volunteers can come in any Dark event. form as far as age and background. Families A: Dining in the Dark will bring together are encouraged to volunteer together. Groups community leaders, industry profession- This unforgettable dining are especially helpful but we also cherish our als and caring citizens for an evening of fine experience is something you individual volunteers as well. Volunteer task are dining to raise awareness and resources for will cherish forever. fairly simple, such as guiding a blind or low vithe California Council of the Blind. Guests sion person to their meeting or, helping them will be invited to enjoy their meals wearing eye shades in to get safely from the light rail station to the hotel. low light conditions and utilize their other senses to maximize this unique culinary experience. The event will feature Q: What’s the best way to learn about all your other Christine Ha, a blind chef and the winner of MasterChef events? season 3. There will also be an exclusive auction provided A: We encourage people to go to our website at by Pacific Auction Company, local celebrity emcees Dan www.ccbnet.org to find out more about the other individand Michelle from KYMX-FM Mix 96.1 and dance music ual community events. provided by blind DJ’s from J & J FM. Where: Sacramento Marriott in Rancho Cordova located Editor’s notes: For more information about these and at 11211 Point East Way, Rancho Cordova, CA 95742. other events, contact Paul Shane, CEO, California CounWhen: Thursday, March 22, 2018 from 5:45pm to cil of the Blind at 916-441-2100 or email Paul at paul. 10:00pm. shane@ccbnet.org. To register for community events or Who: CA Council of the Blind featuring Christine Ha, purchase tickets, please go to www.ccbnet.org and comblind chef and winner of MasterChef Season 3. plete and submit the community member’s registration Tickets: $75 per person. www.ccbnet.org form on our homepage. Inquiries: Paul Shane, CEO 916-441-2100 or by cell phone at 916-710-6308. Sponsors: City of Rancho Cordova; SMUD; Mints Euro-Asian Cuisine; KP International Market & American Array Solar. 3. Acted as the lead organization on the national, state and local levels for safety of blind pedestrians, which led to the installation of audible traffic signals and tactile markings for curb ramps and rail platforms. 4. Acted as the lead organization in securing the right of Californians who are blind and low vision to vote privately and independently.
Q: You’re also presenting an event called Planting in the Dark, is that correct? A: Yes, this is a Plant Nite fundraiser. It is an instructor facilitated event where participants will use their creativity to make a table top take-home succulent garden that is unique to them. It is very popular among groups and friends who like to spend time together in a social environment. We are proud to be the first to bring this exciting event to the city of Rancho Cordova. An added plus is that participants will also have the option of wearing eye shades and experience the event similar to how a blind or low vision person might. This event is on Tuesday, March 20 from 6:30pm to 8:00pm at the Doubletree Inn in Rancho Cordova. It’s open to the public and the cost per person is $53. A portion of ticket sales go to the California Council of the Blind. For more information on Plant Nite, visit plantnite.com. To purchase tickets, go to www.ccbnet.org and fill out the community events registration form. Q: Your third big event in March is called the Fellowship Riverside Walk. What’s takes place at that event? A: On Sunday, March 25th we have put together a fellowship walk with the blind on the walking path adjacent to the American River Parkway in Rancho Cordova. The event will be for up 41 people who are blind and low vision and up have 25 volunteers. There’s no charge, it’s open to the public and participants must be registered in advance. March 2018
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How John Wooden Led His Teams to a Victorious Life read all of the plaques, memoraBy Craig Impelman bilia and awards that adorned his My lesson today centers on walls. a man who, in my opinion, was For three weeks, I prepared for the best basketball coach— our meeting, and I had my quescollege or pro—to ever live: tions ready. I came away from the great John Wooden. that day with stories I will treasure To most he was known as for the rest of my life. the “Wizard of Westwood,” the UCLA basketball coach Wooden’s Creed who guided the Bruins to an unprecedented 10 national for Life championships over two deI want to share with you the cades. For those who played simple creed Coach Wooden Legendary coach John Wooden practiced and taught a for him, he was much more number of principles that helped his players achieve success kept in his wallet since his father than a coach. He was a teach- on and off the basketball court. gave it to him at the age of 12. er, father figure, mentor and The words on this tattered paper master motivator who got every inch and more out of his served as his guidepost his entire life: players. When I heard of his passing last June, my mind was • Be true to yourself. flooded with many memories of this great man’s life, and • Make each day your masterpiece. the impact he had on so many people, including me. I was • Help others. also reminded of memories and life lessons I shared with • Drink deeply from good books. him personally. • Make friendship a fine art. I spent some time with Coach Wooden a few years ago • Build shelter against a rainy day. at his modest home in Los Angeles, where he lived for more • Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings than 30 years. It would have taken several hours just to every day.
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For 87 years, this creed molded Coach Wooden’s life. When I asked him how successful he was in keeping each of these principles, he said, “You know, Craig, we’re never perfect. But every day I still try to live up to the creed.” What a great lesson to us all. Wooden was at the pinnacle of success and still strove to live up to those principles in his late 90s. Most of you reading this are interested in winning and learning how you can get ahead at your own businesses. I want to share with you two things that helped set Coach Wooden apart from other coaches.
A Life of Discipline
First, he achieved personal victories before he led his team to victory. One of the things you’ll notice quickly when you look at John Wooden’s life is he was truly disciplined. Many people feel that a leader’s biggest challenge is leading other people. I don’t subscribe to this opinion. The biggest challenge as a leader is living the life of a leader. As I listened to Coach Wooden that day, I asked myself, how could he bring such success to the teams that he led? The victory he had over himself allowed him to help others become victorious. Our standard of excellence and code of conduct is summed up by Coach Wooden’s strategy to find happiness. He said happiness comes from making and keeping nine promises: 1. Promise yourself that you will talk health, happiness and prosperity as often as possible. 2. Promise yourself to make all your friends know there is something in them that is special that you value. 3. Promise to think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best in yourself and others. 4. Promise to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. 5. Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. 6. Promise to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements in the future. 7. Promise to wear a cheerful appearance at all times and give every person you meet a smile. 8. Promise to give so much time improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others. 9. Promise to be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit trouble to press on you. I learned so much from John Wooden that day in Los Angeles. The time we spent together is etched forever on my mind. His words continue to touch lives the world over. And I don’t say this about a lot of people, but after I left his home I said to myself, “I want to be just like him.” Thanks, Coach. You will be missed. March 2018
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How to Rise Up After Life Knocks You Down By Alex Jasin “It doesn’t matter how far you might rise. At some point, you’re bound to stumble.” Oprah Winfrey spoke these words while giving a commencement speech at Harvard University, and I continue to find more truth in this statement the longer I live. Each one of us experiences a few “stumbles” in our life. Some of us have the mental scars to show for it, too. Maybe you just got fired from your job and don’t know how to start over. Or maybe you’re trying with all your might to find a new one without any luck. Sometimes we work hard for the things we truly believe in, only for life to not go according to our plans. In these moments, you might feel like throwing in the towel. Or that it’s just not worth the heartache to go after your dreams. These feelings of pain and doubt are normal, but
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they shouldn’t stop you. In fact, when you realize you’ve hit rock bottom, there’s only one way to go, and that’s up. The process may be a difficult one and may even take away all your energy, but with a strategy and will, it can surely be done. Here are some of the best steps you can take to achieve your definition of success after life knocks you down:
1. Take time to feel your pain. When you’ve hit the ground on all fours, you may feel the need to deny your situation or take it for granted. Don’t. Instead, allow yourself to be vulnerable to the way you feel. If you feel angry for being fired, inadequate for a failed business or depressed that your spouse left you, accept what you feel. Taking time to feel your emotions and grieving your situation is a good start to refocusing yourself for what’s to come. You can’t rise from a fall by avoiding the fact that you fell and actually got hurt. If you do so, the
didn’t do, think about how you’ll change things up next time around. And if you didn’t make a mistake and yet you still failed, focus on the future. There’s probably an aspect from your experience you can learn from. As you evaluate, also think about your larger vision. What is it that you want to achieve and when do you want to achieve it? Remember that one of the daily habits of successful people is goal setting. You, too, should write down your long-term goals and break them down into smaller daily goals.
5. Map out a plan for your goals. After suffering a severe ankle sprain and tendon damage from a dramatic fall during the 1996 Olympics, Kerri Strug managed to get back on her feet to perform the vault, helping the American women’s team win the gold medal.
pain will pile up and weigh you down at a later time. So grieve, cry if you feel the tears and scream at the top of your lungs if it helps you feel better. And it will.
2. Accept what you can’t change. This is like grieving, but more about understanding that what’s happened can’t be undone. If your business failed and you’re deep in debt, you can’t change that fact. Not in a day, at least, and definitely not by numbing or ignoring the situation you’re in. If your spouse walked away from you and your kids and it hurts, it might hurt for a long time. But you can’t change any of it. So try to accept it and start thinking of what comes next. This comes after you’ve stopped screaming. This is just part of the healing process, and the sooner you’re able to accept and understand what you can’t change, the better.
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” This quote by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry is a great reminder that just having a goal is not enough. You can write it down, break it down into as many small daily goals as you want, but if you don’t have an action plan to execute it, all will be in vain. So make plans around your goal. If your goal is to heal from a breakup and one of your smaller goals is to read inspirational books, make plans to buy the book. Even this plan could include smaller tasks, like identifying the right book by searching online or asking for referrals. But most importantly, remember to not give up. You haven’t failed until you quit, so keep at it.
3. Be kind, and forgive yourself. When life knocks you down, it’s normal to feel guilty, blame yourself and even add self-hate to that pile. However, at the end of the day, you must learn to forgive yourself and find a door within the darkness. Think about all the people that have been in your situation and successfully lived through it. What did they do to recover? Do your research and read about it. The truth is, in the midst of all your troubles and depression, someone else has been in your shoes. Someone else has felt what you’re feeling now.
4. Evaluate your options, and redefine your goals. Once you’ve forgiven yourself and are ready for the next move, it’s time to evaluate your options. Ask yourself what can be done differently by assessing what went wrong. If you made mistakes, write each one of them down to learn from your behavior. If it was something you March 2018
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The ARTS have a new home in Rancho! A Rancho Cordova historic building gets a new lease on life this month as the Mills Art and Culture Center (The MACC) swings open its doors on Feb. 28, 2018. After a year of renovation and planning, Sacramento artist Danny Scheible will feature “TAPIGAMI”, an exhibit and hands-on workshops, during an imaginative show featuring artistic exploration of an everyday item: masking tape. The Grand Opening and ribbon cutting for the building will be at 5:30 p.m. Wednesday Feb. 28, with reception and gallery open until 8 p.m. Visit The MACC and TAPIGAMI again from noon-6 p.m. on March 3-4 and March 10-11. Admission is free of charge. The transformation of Rancho Cordova’s historic Mills Station Building is the result of cooperation and vision by the City of Rancho Cordova, Sacramento County, Sacramento Regional Transit and citizen volunteers. Numerous artistic and cultural events are planned for 2018, produced by the Cordova Community Council Foundation. The MACC activities are made possible in part by funding from the City of Rancho Cordova Community Enhancement Fund. For more information, visit BobsPocket.com. Hope to see you there and at future events! * Visit BobsPocket.com for links to these references, Bob’s bio, past blogs, and more!
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