XYZ Topeka Magazine Winter 2013-14

[ everything for Topeka families ]

If the Shoe Fits motherhood & body image

The Gift of Life

The Top City Bounce

Topeka surrogate moms

some kids just want to flip

Recipes, calendar, winter reads & more!

winter 2013-14

ONE CHOICE FOR CARE Stormont-Vail HealthCare, Cotton-O’Neil Clinics and PediatricCare

• Stormont-Vail Regional Health Center 1500 S.W. 10th Ave., (785) 354-6000 The public entrance to the Stormont-Vail Emergency and Trauma Center is just west of Eighth and Washburn.

• Stormont-Vail Behavioral Health Services 3707 S.W. Sixth Ave., (785) 270-4600

Primary Care Clinics • Cotton-O’Neil Clinic 901 S.W. Garfield Ave., (785) 354-9591 • Cotton-O’Neil Clinic–Croco Road 2909 S.E. Walnut Dr., (785) 267-0744

• Cotton-O’Neil Digestive Health Center 720 S.W. Lane St., (785) 270-4850 • Cotton-O’Neil Heart Center Cardiologists, 929 S.W. Mulvane St., (785) 270-4000 Vein Center, (785) 290-VEIN Women’s Heart Clinic, (785) 270-4HER • Cotton-O’Neil Clinic Cardiothoracic & Vascular Surgeons 830 S.W. Mulvane St., (785) 270-8625 • Cotton-O’Neil Clinic General Surgeons 823 S.W. Mulvane St., (785) 354-9591

Health Services • Health Connections’ Nurse Info Line (785) 354-5225 • HealthWise 55 Clinic 2252 S.W. 10th Ave., (785) 354-6787 • Medical Arts Pharmacy 2252 S.W. 10th Ave., (785) 235-8796 • Medicare Wellness Clinic 901 S.W. Garfield, Lower Level (785) 354-6545 • Stormont-Vail Rehabilitation Services 4019 S.W. 10th Ave., Fleming Place (785) 354-6116

• Cotton-O’Neil Clinic–North 1130 N. Kansas Ave., (785) 354-1777

• Cotton-O’Neil Clinic Orthopedic Surgeons 823 S.W. Mulvane St., (785) 270-8880

• Cotton-O’Neil Clinic–Urish Road 6725 S.W. 29th St., (785) 478-1500

• Stormont-Vail ExcellENT Surgery Center 920 S.W. Lane St., (785) 231-1800

Urgent Care - Urgent care for minor illnesses

• PediatricCare 4100 S.W. 15th St., (785) 273-8224

• Jane C. Stormont Women’s Health Center 823 S.W. Mulvane St., Suite 102 (785) 354-5960

• Cotton-O’Neil ExpressCare–North 1130 N. Kansas Ave. Weekdays 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.

• Kansas Orthopedics & Sports Medicine 909 S.W. Mulvane St., (785) 357-0301 Toll-free (800) 332-0016

• Cotton-O’Neil ExpressCare–Croco Road 2909 S.E. Walnut Dr. Weekdays 9 a.m. to 8 p.m.

Sat.-Sun. 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.

• Stormont-Vail Sleep Center 920 S.W. Washburn Ave. (785) 270-8090

• Cotton-O’Neil ExpressCare–Urish Road 6725 S.W. 29th St. Weekdays 9 a.m. to 8 p.m.

Sat.-Sun. 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.

• PediatricCare–Urish Road 2860 S.W. Mission Woods Dr., Suite B (785) 273-7571

Specialty Clinics • Stormont-Vail Cancer Center 1414 S.W. Eighth Ave., (785) 354-5300 • Cotton-O’Neil Dermatology 6650 S.W. Mission Valley Dr. (785) 272-1250

• Stormont-Vail WorkCare 1504 S.W. Eighth Ave., (785) 270-8605

• Cotton-O’Neil Diabetes and Endocrinology Center 3520 S.W. Sixth Ave., (785) 354-9591

• Stormont-Vail Single Day Surgery 823 S.W. Mulvane St., Suite 101 (785) 354-8737

• Diabetes Learning Center (DLC) 3520 S.W. Sixth Ave., (785) 368-0416

• Stormont-Vail WoundCare 823 S.W. Mulvane St., Lower Level (785) 368-0400

• Stormont-Vail MRI Center of Kansas 731 S.W. Mulvane St., (785) 354-5545 and injuries. No appointment necessary.

Go to stormontvail.org for a complete listing of all services and physicians.

Julie Snyder, RN Critical Care Stormont-Vail HealthCare is proud to be recognized as a Magnet™ organization by the American Nurses Credentialing Center.

stormontvail.org

XYZ Magazine | Vol. IV • Issue III | Winter 2013-14

FEATURE 30 If the Shoe Fits: Motherhood & Body Image

[ what’s inside ]

XYZ looks into the myths surrounding body image and hosts an event for nearly thirty mothers to inspire women to wear their bodies just as a perfectly-fitting shoe, with an aim to create your own Cinderella moment.

IN EVERY ISSUE 6 tweenage foodie review 16 calendar 24 personal essay

8 gone vegan

18 the gift of life

25 cool kids bday

A change in diet and lifestyle equals huge health changes for one family and a delicious array of options.

Two local mothers become surrogate moms and give the greatest gift of all.

29 retrofun

10 random acts

22 armed with diagnosis

‘Tis the season (actually it’s always the season) to truly appreciate random acts of kindness. Be inspired by others and make another’s day brighter.

The Capper Foundation is offering an essential tool to local families and focusing on the importance of early detection as the best form of increasing autism awareness.

14 more than cookies

26 the top city bounce

Learn how the girl scouts has reinvented the future of girls everywhere, one badge at a time.

A team of high flyers at Top City Athletics is taking the sport of trampoline to a whole new level.

36 art project 40 recipe 41 keen eye 42 fall reads 43 library reads 44 diy sewing 46 heard & noted 47 poem corner

Every child deserves a loving, caring home. A family they can call their own.

A place where they belong. With people who will be there for them always.

l

www.adoptKSkids.org

l

877-457-5430

Adopt Kansas Kids works to connect foster and approved adoptive families with children throughout Kansas who need adoption. This service is provided by the Kansas Children’s Service League through a contract with the Kansas Department for Children and Families (DCF).

Express the joy of the season with your own works of heart.

Family Service & Guidance Center invites you to purchase a box of 10 inspiring, unique Works of Heart note cards and envelopes.

Each card features an illustration created by an amazing young artist from our community. The artists range in age from 3 to 17, and all are striving to achieve their potential and overcome mental illness with the help of the caring professionals at Family Service & Guidance Center.

Works of Heart note cards are $10 a box, three boxes for $25, and they make a wonderful stocking stuffer. All proceeds ensure that FSGC’s services are available to the thousands of children and families in our community who need them to live happy, healthy, successful lives.

Get yours by calling 270.8996 today. Happy holidays from Family Service & Guidance Center!

FSGCtopeka.com • 785.232.5005

“...because every child deserves a happy childhood.”

[ letter from the editor ]

[ everything for Topeka families ]

this is me b y J a n i c e Wa t k i n s Janice Watkins, Leah Sewell, Megan Rogers Owners/Publishers

I

have introduced myself several times in this very publication. I introduced myself to you once as the new Editorin-Chief. I introduced myself to you as one of the new owners of XYZ last issue.

I have introduced myself as a sister, an aunt, a granddaughter, a caregiver, a mom who sometimes makes bad (but hilarious) decisions, a mother who has grieved the loss of a pregnancy and so much more. I am here to introduce myself to you again. So, let’s strip it down to no preconceived notions.

No, literally. I have stripped down. This is me. This is Janice.

I am a proud, but imperfect mother to two living children. Two children who stretched my skin to the very ounce of elasticity that was left; two children that shifted my pelvic bones, widened my hips and apparently made me prone to weak ankles; two children that I fed

with milk from my own body until they were at least a year old; two children that I have carried up stairs after they have fallen asleep on rides home; two children that have cried into my shoulder after countless boo-boos or hurt feelings; two children whose vomit I have cleaned up at 2 am off Dora or Bob the Builder sheets; two children that I have learned the rules of basketball for and am training myself how to properly perfect a French braid; two children that I will love and cherish every minute of every waking moment of my life.

These two children have defined the better part of the last twelve years of my life and my body is drastically different because of it. But like I said, this is me. I would not have this body without those two children that make me laugh until I tinkle in my pants and tell me I am “pretty” first thing in the morning with crazy bed head, bad breath and no makeup on.

This body is mine and I am proud to be the proud owner of this body if it means that I am the owner of those two gems that bring me daily joy.

I invite you to read our main feature If the Shoe Fits with an open mind and recognize the need in all of us mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. – to appreciate who we are each day and take pride in our own bodies – the perfect and the imperfect.

So, hello again, I am “BeYOUtiful.” I am Janice.

Leah Sewell Art Director Janice Watkins Editor-in-Chief WRITERS Annie Brock Grant Burns Cale Herreman Nicole Huckins Josh Luttrell Leah Sewell Shanna Sloyer Erin Snethen Janice Watkins Blake Zachritz PHOTO EDITOR Megan Rogers PHOTOGRAPHERS Meghann Boatright Keith Czechanski Jeremy Gaston Sarah Long Megan Rogers Aundrea Shafer Zach Snethen Julie Velez ART + PRODUCTION Leah Sewell ADVERTISING xyztopeka@gmail.com 785.220.8732 Megan Rogers Janice Watkins CALENDAR Janice Watkins MARKETING / WEBSITE SOCIAL MEDIA / DISTRIBUTION Megan Rogers

cover photo

by Megan Rogers Megan Rogers Photographie

Leah Sewell

The first snow of the season is always a very magical event.

Janice Watkins REPRINTS + PERMISSION No part of XYZ may be reproduced in any form without prior consent from XYZ Publications.

For permission requests, call 785.220.8732 or email xyztopeka@gmail.com XYZ MAGAZINE xyztopeka@gmail.com

I WAS A

tWEENAGE FOOD CRITIC

“

I probably would have lost a finger if I had tried to get between my mom and her sandwich.”

- Grant, tweenage food critic

Local food reviews by food aficionado Grant, age 11. photo by EJ Drake

LONNIE Q'S BBQ 3150 SE 21st Open Monday-Thursday 11a-1p & Friday 11a-1p & 5:30-7:30p

A

s you can see, Lonnie Q’s hours of operation are limited, but it worked out for our family to go there for lunch because we all had a day off during the week. It’s also not a place you just discover by accident. You have to know where you’re heading to find it. The exterior of Lonnie Q’s doesn’t give you much of an indication of what to expect, but when you enter, it’s a spacious, homey eatery. The owner must love Eric Clapton because there is Clapton memorabilia everywhere.

You walk up to the counter and order your food. You get to choose from a variety of barbecue delicacies. After choosing your entrée, you get moved quickly through a serving line.

My dad selected short ribs. I chose a brisket sandwich and my mom chose a pulled pork sandwich. We were all treated to homemade coleslaw, baked beans and pickles, but sadly they were out of their famous cheesy potatoes, which my mom has had and says we need to return for in the near future. We selected a table and decided to try out the sauces laid out on the table right-off-the-bat. Some sauces were thinner, while others were thicker. My whole family liked the thickest sauce the best.

When I first tried my brisket sandwich I felt the smokiness of the meat and savored every second of it. Then, I tried to pick up one of my dad’s ribs. I was surprised to find that

the piece I was holding broke off and that I was no longer holding an entire rib! I guess that’s what they call falling off the bone! My mom enjoyed her sandwich so much that I probably would have lost a finger if I had tried to get between her and her sandwich. The beans had a nice smoky flavor while the coleslaw was fresh and not overdone.

The restaurant was nice and clean. My mom said that the bathrooms were surprisingly nice for a restaurant. The staff was also very friendly and helpful. They checked on us several times, bringing us more napkins for our messy fingers. The owner even came around to see how we were doing.

The menu had lots of things I’d like to go back and try in the future. For example, if you’re going to mix your food together anyway, you can put your food in one of their signature Q-cups which is an easy way to have all your deliciousness piled all together.

If you have a big need for some delicious barbecue for a gathering of friends and family or for work, take note, they also cater. You’ll get lots of love if you have Lonnie Q’s cater!

Even though it’s not open for very long, the delicious food inspires you to get there during the hours they’re open. If you like barbecue, Lonnie Q’s is the place to go! XYZ TOPEKA

A new Christmas tale

by Shanna Sloyer • photos contributed

The

Twelve-Day Christmas of Silverlenne Forest, written by local author Katherine Linquist, is a family-friendly fairytale based on the classic Christmas song, The Twelve Days of Christmas. The book attempts to explain the identities of the true loves, why so many gifts are given and the meaning behind the number of days. The reader finds these answers amidst princes and princesses, fairies, cloud-riding, liquid sunlight rings, ballerina swans and a battle to save a kingdom.

Now 20, Linquist began writing the book when she was twelve. She has always loved to read and write. Today, she is a dance major in college and enjoys choreography.

The Twelve-Day Christmas of Silverlenne Forest is available at barnesandnoble.com and amazon.com. Keep an eye out for book readings in December.

Q: Where did the idea come from for The Twelve-Day Christmas of Silverlenne Forest?

A: My dance studio was trying to decide on a Christmastime production. We didn’t want to do Nutcracker, since there was already more than one in Topeka. My mom and I thought that a show based on The Twelve Days of Christmas would work well, since it’s familiar to people and used a large cast. Since there was no story that we could find, I wrote one. We didn’t end up using it for the studio, but it was such a fun story that I kept writing.

Q: How did you develop your characters?

A: My characters are each named after someone in my family.

The King and Queen are my grandparents, the Princesses are my three little cousins (the oldest is 5), and my brother’s name is attached to one of the villains. Names switched around, but every character name (except two) belongs to a family member.

Q: You began writing the book at age 12. When did you finish the book? How did the storyline change and develop as you got older and had more life experiences?

A: I was done with the first draft within the first year...after that, it was a seasonal thing that I didn’t finish until I was

18 or 19. Since the goal was to create a fun fairytale, it didn’t change much plot-wise or character-wise. I did have to rewrite the proposal scene a couple of times, though.

Mostly, the kingdom of Silverlenne gained shiny details and flowy wording.

The princesses did get new names as my cousins were born, and Silverlenne’s name also changed. Originally, the kingdom was named Wakarusa after my grandparents’ place. However, that didn’t sound quite right as part of the title. Naming the kingdom actually took some time. It was tough to find something that fit. Eventually, it all worked out with Silverlenne. I’m very happy with the name. It sounds like icicles, tinsel and fairy wings, which is basically what Twelve DayChristmas is all about!

Q: How instrumental were your parents in helping you get this book published?

A: They were very involved the whole way through; it wouldn’t have been written without them. Editing the story meant me reading what I’d written out loud and them acting as fresh ears and editors. We all looked for publishers who might accept the manuscript. I don’t think the form letters and stuff would have been completed without them, as well. Mom was actually the one who clicked on Tate Publishing’s link, and they eventually picked it up.

Q: What advice would you give to aspiring young authors?

A: First off, and very importantly, have fun. If that means writing adventures for entertainment, or complex characters to make a point, just make sure you’re enjoying the process of producing your best. Read a lot of what you want to write.

We pick up a lot of our style and skill through what we read. This is the hardest part for me, but show your work to other people. When they tell you they’re confused, or advise you on how to improve something, take what they say into consideration. Don’t get mad at them, but don’t beat yourself up. Almost nothing turns out perfect before a few edits.

That’s the nature of it; don’t get hung up!Last but not least, try not to rush into a publication deal. If someone wants to pick up your book, cool! Just make sure they’re not going to pull anything shady along the way. XYZ TOPEKA

gone vegan

when their son's health depended on it, one Topeka family dove headfirst into the vegan diet

W

arm, inviting dinner aromas drift throughout the Beyer family home. Their kitchen is a happy, welcome space filled with repurposed beams from the old state hospital and original hardwood floors. A central work station holds the ingredients for the evening meal, and controlled chaos reigns as children wander in and out, doing gymnastics, stopping to sample ingredients and help with the dinner preparations.

Jennifer Beyer is busy preparing a family favorite - vegan pizza. She chops, pours and stirs as she explains her family’s vegan lifestyle. She and husband Brendan, along with their three children, Maya, 11, Van, 9, and Crosby, 22 months, adopted a vegan diet when Van was diagnosed with epilepsy and Tourette’s syndrome.

Van’s neurologist was supportive of not putting him on epilepsy medication if the Beyers were willing to drastically change their diet.

For them, that meant no processed food, no sugar, gluten-free, no animal or fish products of any kind, and buying organic produce as often as possible. The Beyers believe that their vegan lifestyle helps to control Van’s symptoms.

by Shanna Sloyer photos by Meghann Boatright

“When we eat this way, we feel really good,” said Van. “The good thing about eating vegan is you can eat as much as you want without feeling bad.”

While it may seem like a daunting task to commit to, a return to a non-vegan diet can increase Van’s chances of having seizures and other symptoms.

“Van’s health was a major incentive. It’s all in what you get used to,” said Jennifer.

Because the Beyers offer a wide variety of vegan foods over and over, their children have learned to eat foods that other kids might not, such as brussel sprouts.

Breakfast consists of smoothies, pancakes, or steel cut oats with apples and nuts. For other meals and snacks, the family consumes a lot of beans, corn, and noodles, a variety of soups, and veggie burgers. Even at school and on the go, the family has found ways to stay committed to vegan eating.

“My mom and dad make our lunches the night before [school],” said Maya. “We go to birthday parties, and we can’t eat the cake so mom and dad bring us treats that are still really good.”

The Beyer children are not deprived of sweets and dessert, despite eliminating refined sugar from their diets. Fruit is a popular snack, and apples are Crosby’s favorite treat. Jennifer sweetens food with honey, maple syrup, bananas, dates, and peanut butter.

“Anything they ask for, we give them a replacement,” said Jennifer. Jennifer recently modified a cinnamon roll recipe that Maya and Van raved about, and chocolate macaroons are an after-dinner treat on pizza night.

When the family eats out, they choose restaurants that serve vegan options. The Juice Garden is a popular choice, as well as Chipotle, where they can order beans, rice, veggies and guacamole. In keeping with their desire to buy organic foods, Brendan and Jennifer shop at Natural Grocers, Health Food Mart (21st and Washburn), and in the organic section at Dillons. During the summer months, the farmer’s market keeps the cost of organic produce down.

According to Jennifer, the holidays can be a challenge, and the family accepts a lot of responsibility for what they take to holiday meals. Occasionally, well-meaning relatives will offer non-vegan food items to the kids.

“We remind them that food is medicine to our family,” said Jennifer. “It’s not just a choice we’re making to be difficult.”

When the Beyers first began eating vegan, Jennifer worried about ensuring that her children were getting enough protein and vitamins from the foods they eat. The media and critics of vegetarian and vegan lifestyles often cite these concerns as drawbacks.

Lauren Cass, a registered pediatric dietitian at Stormont-Vail acknowledges that these concerns can be legitimate.

“Vegetarian diets are easier to achieve an ideal intake [of nutrients], since they include a wider variety of foods. With a vegan diet, it can be difficult to get enough calcium, which is

important for bones and teeth,” said Cass. “Vegan foods that fulfill the need for calcium include juice, calcium-set tofu, beans and leafy green vegetables.”

Other nutrients that parents should be conscientious about providing in adequate quantities include protein, B-vitamins, and Omega-3s. Cass recommends soy as a source of protein and other meat substitutes and vegan milk, as well as B-vitamin enriched grain and grain products. There are many food products available that are fortified with Omega3s, which provide DHA and EPA, essential components in a child’s diet.

Parents also need to be sure that their children are consuming enough calories warns Cass. Vegan and vegetarian diets tend to be high in fiber, causing feelings of fullness sooner in smaller stomachs. Cass recommends the use of nut and seed butters, as well as dried fruit as sources of concentrated calories.

The Beyers did their research and no longer have concerns about the diet that they feed their family.

“My kids are getting far more vitamins than most kids because they are not eating processed foods,” said Jennifer.

“They get enough protein in nuts and beans.”

Brendan and Jennifer also make a special preventive probiotic tea called kombucha, which is high in vitamins and a favorite amongst the kids. In addition to drinking kombucha and water, the family makes their own almond and coconut milk.

While Jennifer prepares the vegan pizza crust, Brendan works on the topping for his signature salad, which includes caramelized pecans and maple syrup over salad greens. They work side-by-side like a well-oiled machine, and each is quick to give credit to the other for the success of their vegan lifestyle.

“Be patient with yourself and know in the beginning, you will probably eat a lot of the same thing,” said Jennifer. “You don’t have to start out all or nothing. You can ease into it.”

XYZ TOPEKA XYZ xyztopeka.com

9

kindness can be contagious.

random acts of kindness b y J a n i c e Wa t k i n s • p h o t o b y M e g a n R o g e r s | M e g a n R o g e r s P h o t o g r a p h i e illustration by Elaine Rodriguez

A frazzled mother stops at a drive-thru in between soccer games with a van full of tired kids and pulls to the window to pay, only to be told that the driver ahead of her paid for her family’s meal in full.

A single dad heads to the store to make a payment on his layaway bill for his daughter’s first bike that he plans on tying a huge pink bow around and placing prominently under the Christmas tree and soon realizes that a secret Santa of his own has paid the bill early. A set of grandparents realize that they forgot to get gas in between running errands and stopping to get their grandkids from school and sit on the side of the road in desperation and on empty when a young teen emerges from the house across the street with a gas can in hand and a smile on his face.

Kindness is a virtue that is revered and sought after on a daily basis. Kindness is the creator of smiles, happy thoughts and bonds of endless love. There is something unique, however, about a complete random act of kindness.

“There is something so completely overwhelming and amazing about being on the giving end and the receiving end of a random act of kindness. To have a complete stranger do something so totally unexpected for you – well, that can change your whole day. Really, that can change your whole life,” proclaimed Margaret.

10

xyztopeka.com XYZ

The concept of “pay it forward” has certainly become more prominent in popular culture, only cementing the realization that kindness can be contagious.

Jessica was pleased to honor the request of a friend, who had implored her social circle to take a written message and perform a random act of kindness in honor of the memory of her twins that had passed away.

“I gave $10 and that paper to the server at my favorite restaurant and asked him to find the most deserving person and buy their meal. A few weeks later he told me that a man had been sitting in the heat outside of their restaurant downtown. He wasn’t begging for anything, just resting in the shade but was obviously homeless and hungry. Martin told him to come sit down and enjoy a meal on me. He said the guy was just blown away and so very thankful for that plate of tacos,” said Jessica. “It was such a small thing on my end that made a huge difference to a total stranger.”

Tom states that he has always been inclined towards random acts of kindness, but even more so after the sudden death of his sister – a dedicated school guidance counselor to troubled teens. Following Tom’s sister’s death, her Facebook page became flooded with messages from former students and what her work meant to each of them.

BE KIND. Give blood.

“

To have a complete stranger do something so totally unexpected for you - well, that can change your whole day. Really, that can change your whole life.”

Pay for a stranger’s meal.

Help someone carry groceries to his or her car.

Shovel your neighbor’s snow.

Stop and offer gas to someone who is stranded on the side of the road.

Donate old clothes, blankets, etc. to a shelter.

“That was my 'wake-up' moment. That was when I understood that one person can make a difference,” said Tom. Immediately thereafter, Tom anonymously adopted the family of one of his sister’s students for Christmas. He arranged for $300 to be dropped off at their house and later saw her post that “Christmas was saved!” and thanking the Secret Santa.

Call the utility company and offer to pay a shut-off balance for someone in need.

Anonymously make a payment (or pay in full) a layaway bill near the holidays.

Serve lunch at a soup kitchen.

Tom continues to adopt families in need each holiday season, pays of layaway bills and volunteers with many groups, but he is quick to note that in whatever way kindness is performed, it is important to encourage these simple acts each day.

Shower a stranger with compliments.

“May I offer one suggestion? When each of us go about our days - wherever we are, whatever we’re doing - walk with a smile. And if you’re in a shop or a restaurant, compliment the person who is helping you,” Tom challenges. “If we can all do this, it vastly improves all of us.”

Stand up for someone who is being bullied.

XYZ TOPEKA

Hold the door.

Leave hope notes in library books offering words of encouragement.

Volunteer!

Smile at everyone you pass.

XYZ xyztopeka.com

11

by Annie Brock illustration by Elaine Rodriguez

January 29th is Kansas’ birthday, and in honor of the occasion we’ve put together a Sunflower State-themed To-Do List.

Go ahead and check off a few of these Kansascentric items perfect to share, do, and enjoy with your kids. >> continued pg 15

tackles

the Sanctimommy Email your parenting questions to okaymomXYZ@gmail.com. Remember, there are no stupid questions! (but there will very likely be stupid answers)

Dear Okay Mom, My sister is always making rude remarks about my parenting. My parenting style is a lot more laid-back than her extreme hands-on approach, and she has no problem telling me her way is better. She’ll make passive-aggressive comments about my infant drinking formula, my toddler watching television, or my oldest playing video games. She even emails me parenting articles to “help.” It’s so infuriating, but she claims she’s just informing me. How can I get her to back off?

Sincerely, Super-Annoyed Sis Dear Sis, Your poor sister. Not only is she busy being a perfect mom, but she has to pick up the slack for your bad parenting choices, too!

It appears your sister is a sanctimommy. To a sanctimommy, there is only one right way to raise a child, and it’s her way.

You know the type – know-it-all moms forever concerntrolling and tsk-tsking because the parenting gods sprinkled them with some kind of perfect mommy fairy dust the rest of us mere mortals were denied.

A sanctimommy might take you to task for using disposable wipes. Why couldn’t you craft re-usable ones from recycled hemp fiber like she did? She’ll guilt trip you for not breastfeeding your child until college graduation. She’ll judge you for purchasing non-organic produce, having a job outside of the home and sending your kid to public school. And don’t even think about giving your child candy in front of a sanctimommy, unless you’re prepared for a visit from Child Protective Services.

Lucky for all of us, sanctimommies are the exception, not the rule.

Most parents understand that sometimes it’s necessary to plop your kid in front of Dora because you need to make

a call, or pay a bill, or take a break. Most parents don’t feel the need to physically intervene when you give your child a juice box. Most parents are too busy making their own parenting decisions to have the time or inclination to scrutinize yours.

Truthfully, your sister probably feels a lot of insecurity about motherhood, so she has appointed herself the resident parenting guru to help her feel more in control. She’s not trying to make you feel like a bad mom by belittling your choices; she’s trying to make herself feel like a good one.

Though you may be tempted to tell your sister to shove her screen-time sanctimony and Le Leche League membership card where the sun doesn’t shine, my advice is to be the bigger mommy. Give her the validation she needs. Tell her she’s an amazing mother. Compliment her on her infant sign language skills and choke down some of her glutenfree, sugar-free chocolate chip “cookies.” Applaud her for perfecting the art of pooping while babywearing. Regard her advice, no matter how smug, with the understanding that giving it makes her feel like a more confident parent.

Then find ways to lift her up as a mom. Hopefully, your support and encouragement will take root, and she’ll finally feel confident enough about her choices to stop nit-picking yours. XYZ TOPEKA

so much more than cookies

by Nicole Huckins • photos by Aundrea Shafer | A Shafer Photog raphy

Three sprightly 11-year-olds sit around

a table discussing a recent trip to Science City and Microsoft.

Not only did the three friends use state-of-the-art tablets to create and edit commercials, but they earned the coveted Digital Movie Maker Badge to adorn their Cadet uniforms.

Mckayla Newman, Rylee Boyd and Bree Halepeska are no strangers to earning badges, as they have been proud members of the Girl Scouts since Kindergarten.

Girl Scouts, to the three young ladies, has been more than just the popular cookie-selling. They are quick to shout “Friendship!” “Camping!” and “Having fun!” in response to a question about what troop life means to each of them and they continue their excitement by quickly sharing stories amongst themselves about a trip to K-State Engineering Day, which included a hands-on learning experience designing and building windmills.

This “cool stuff ” exposure is exactly what moms (and troop leaders) Barbara Halepeksa and Rhonda Boyd agree will be absolutely essential in the girls’ future.

“It has been nothing but enriching and enlightening for both of our girls,” Halepeka proclaimed.

The experiences of Mckayla, Rylee and Bree illustrate the evolution of Girls Scouts to not only include the traditional scouting elements of camping and outdoor events, but to incorporate technological advances, such as building

14

xyztopeka.com XYZ

and coding apps. In fact, a major component of the Girl Scout program emphasizes STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math); each with career fields that have a serious gender gaps and girls the clear minority. Sadly, women make up only 24 percent of the workforce in these booming, highly compensated industries.

That’s where Girl Scouts takes a stand.

Topeka’s local council, Girls Scouts of NE Kansas and NW Missouri has a long history of STEM focus. According to Kaitlyn Hood, STEM Program Manager, the program elements aim to shrink the unfortunate gender gap by exposure, experience and education to the scouts. Hood explains that overall the program is designed to “make sure girls are not afraid of STEM, and to have confidence” in these areas from kindergarten through high school.

Boyd explained that she wanted her daughter Rylee to be “involved because that’s where the future is, that is where it’s going. If they don’t have this experience, they’re behind, they’re lost.”

Girl Scouts incorporates STEM into their programs in three ways. First, troop leaders are properly trained to become STEM confident and include science into their monthly programming. Second, campers at Camp Daisy conduct various science experiments and scavenger hunts using GPS tools while out at the site. Lastly, Girl Scouts works with the

(From left to right): Girl Scouts Bree Halapeska, Mckayla Newman and Rylee Boyd

community organizations and local corporations through “Spark events” to introduce girls to women role models in STEM fields. At a recent Spark event, girls engaged with women engineers at Google Fiber, learning how they came to work in this career field and what they actually do in their everyday work life.

Although the evolution of Girl Scouts continues to grow with important and timely programs such as STEM, the girls themselves are the true leaders in advances. For example, Rylee and her troop decided they were the most interested in earning a Knife Safety badge similar to a Boy Scout merit badge. Discovering that Girl Scouts did not have such a badge, they created their own. The troop had to research, write, and then complete the requirements in order to earn their badge.

It’s exactly this type of girl-led experiences that enhance their skill sets outside of a school setting focusing on collaboration, empowerment and innovation.

“These are skills they learn along the way that will help them in the future,” Halepeska noted.

What’s most important about the Girls Scouts today may be different for each girl, but it is clear that opportunities are abound for girls to make discoveries- whether in science, or within themselves.

For Mckayla, Rylee and Bree, they are most excited about an upcoming STEM event at K-State where the girls will learn about Animal Science. For these girls and so many like them, Girl Scouts is a rewarding vehicle with which to navigate their own personal journey to womanhood. XYZ TOPEKA

Mavis Elizabeth Betterly. May Betts. May B. No matter what you call her, she’s definitely worth getting to know. May B., a historical fiction novel told in verse, is the story of a 12year old girl from the untamed Kansas prairies of the late 1800s. Through unforeseen circumstances, May is forced to endure a frigid Kansas winter alone in a crude sod home with little food at her disposal. This riveting story about a resilient young girl surviving on her wits and grit will prove unforgettable to young Kansas readers. >> continued pg 41

XYZ xyztopeka.com

15

WINTER 2013-14 b y J a n i c e Wa t k i n s

Polar Ice Cap Now through February17, Topeka Zoological Park

Take a spin on this synthetic rink anytime through the winter season with skate rental available and the rink open daily from 10a – 4p.

Winter Wonderland Now through December 31, 2013 Shawnee County Campground, 6

POLAR ICE CAP NOW - FEB 17

– 10p nightly, $10/vehicle Enjoy this holiday classic to benefit TARC once, or several times through the holidays. Mark your calendars for Monday, December 9 for XYZ night at Winter Wonderland! Pile into the car and see the lights, while snagging a chance to see our staff and pick up more copies of the newest issue!

Festival of Trees December 5 – 8, Kansas Expocentre, Ag Hall, Various times

Get into the holiday mood with this annual benefit for Sheltered Living, Inc. Children 12 and under are free. For admission times and pricing, visit www.ksexpo.com.

Breakfast with Santa December 7, Paris Community Center, 9 -11a

DEC 6-15 TCTA

Want to make sure you letter to Santa arrives early? Enjoy a chance to hand-deliver your holiday wishes to Mr. Claus himself, complete with a hearty breakfast, sing-a-long and candy cane hunt. $6/person, Kids 3 and under eat free.

Jingle AARGH the Way! A Pirate Christmas Adventure December 6 – 15, Topeka

Civic Theatre and Academy, Varied show times The amazing cast and crew presents the follow-up to last season’s successful How I Became a Pirate. Their latest adventure takes the pirates to the North Pole to meet Santa where they learn about the true “treasure” of Christmas.

Local Author Fair December 8, Topeka and Shawnee County Public Library, Marvin

JAN 24 KANSAS EXPO

Auditorium and Library Rotunda, 3 – 5p This great opportunity will provide you and your family to meet emerging and veteran authors and support their work (including our very own co-owner, the lovely and talented, Leah Sewell).

The Velveteen Rabbit December 13 – 22, Helen Hocker Theater, Varied show times This favorite children’s tale will be brought to life on stage with comedy, drama and an enduring tale of love.

Candy Cane Hunt/S’mores with Santa December 14, Crestview Community Center, 5:30 – 7p, $7/family Our friends at Parks and Rec have combined two of our favorite annual holiday events into one spectacular evening, Bring a flashlight for the candy cane hunt fun and then stick around for some hot chocolate, popcorn and s’mores with our favorite inhabitant of the North Pole (sorry Rudolph – you are a close second!). Families must pre-register by December 10.

DEC 13-22 HELEN HOCKER

16

xyztopeka.com XYZ

Secret Holiday Lab! December 21 & December 23, Kansas Children’s Discovery Center, 11a – 2p

The Top Secret Holiday Lab will be open for children to create one-of-a-kind gifts for a special person. With many options to choose from, all gifts will be wrapped before leaving the lab, to make sure it stays... top secret! $5/per gift

Noon Year’s Eve Balloon Drop December 31, Kansas Children’s

Discovery Center, 12p Join the staff of the KCDC for their 3rd Annual Noon Year’s Eve Balloon Drop - a special celebration just for children!

Harlem Globetrotters January 24, Kansas Expocentre, Landon Arena, 7p

Inc.

3400 SW 6th Ave. Topeka KS 785.272.1740 or Toll Free 1.888.284.0704

scan this QR Code to hear our Jingle

Catch a chance to be awed as the superstar ball handlers make their way to Topeka for the Fans Rule World Tour. We would bet that they just might win!

Settling the Kansas Territory: Kansas Day Celebration

January 29, Topeka and Shawnee County Public Library, Marvin Auditorium 101A, 7 - 8:30p Hear accounts of Kansas’ settlers brought to life by re-enactors and celebrate the birthday of your great state.

Disney Live!

Mickey’s Music Festival February

1, Kansas Expocentre, Landon Arena, 1p & 4p Mickey and Friends are ready to wow your preschooler with a special performance as the gang adapts classic Disney hits to the hottest sounds of today.

DGX-650 Interactive features make learning, playing and sharing music fun for everyone.

Stop by and experience it for yourself.

Remember us for music, accessories, gift cards and repairs.

Stop By or Visit us online!

Supporting School Music Programs in Northeast Kansas for over 25 years.

www.manningmusic.net

Anne of Greene Gables February 14 – 23, Topeka Civic Theatre and Academy, Varied show times

This youth show is sure to capture the charm and excitement of L.M. Montgomery’s enduring classic about an orphan girl, Anne Shirley, from her first encounter with her austere guardian to her thrilling graduation from Queen’s Academy.

Music for a Sunday Afternoon presents “Invisible Bike”

February 16, Topeka and Shawnee County Public Library, Marvin Auditorium, 3 – 4p The library’s first Rock Band concert is something not to be missed. “Invisible Bike” is a local group with great musicians performing original music in the “Indie Rock+Pop+Reggae+Funk(?)+Punk” styles. This should get the halls shakin’!

African-American Read-in for Children February 22, Topeka and Shawnee

County Public Library, Lingo Story Room 121, 10:30 -11:30a Join this national read-in and listen to readers share wonderful African-American children’s literature. Make it a traditional part of your Black History Month celebration.

XYZ xyztopeka.com

17

the gift of life

How two Topeka surrogate mothers gave the greatest gift of all

by Leah Sewell • photos contributed • illustration by Elaine Rodriguez

In September of 2012, in a Topeka hospital, a father witnessed the birth of his first son and wept openly as he felt a sudden connection to the continuum of human life on earth.

Omer, father to twin boys Daniel and Benjamin, remembers the moment that his firstborn, Daniel, entered the world, and his voice cracks as even today he struggles to convey his emotional reaction: “Suddenly you see a little creature, a little human being coming … I was crying, I was more than crying. I was weeping like a little girl! I felt so connected suddenly to humanity, to the reason why we are here – to have continuity. That is our purpose here. If there is no continuation, then what is the point?”

It’s not every father who weeps uncontrollably in the delivery room when his first child is born. But Omer’s experience of the birth of his sons is not typical. Omer and his spouse, Felipe, witnessed the births of Daniel and Benjamin after two years of grueling preparation, research, travel and emotional upheaval. A typical couple might try for a baby, conceive and, over the next nine months, ready the environment for the arrival of their child and the beginning of the newest chapter of their lives. For Omer and Felipe, things were radically different. The decision to expand their family through the surrogacy process wasn’t arrived at lightly.

“We started to discuss it in 2010, right after we got married,” Omer remembers. “To me it was always clear we would have a family. Felipe is from South America, and I am from Israel, so we were socially, culturally, very different. We had to make 18

xyztopeka.com XYZ

sure we were on the same page. So that was the beginning of our journey. Before we met Jennifer and Jude, we’d been pregnant a long time, because mentally we were pregnant. For us, it was a two-year process.”

Jennifer and Jude Quinn are intrinsic to the story of Omer and Felipe’s entry into fatherhood. They were in that Topeka hospital delivery room when Omer experienced his moment of transcendence. Jennifer was the surrogate mom in the midst of delivering Omer and Felipe’s twin sons. Jude was by Jennifer’s side, aiding his wife as she labored.

“It’s the biggest thing you’ve ever done,” says Jennifer. “The thing you’re most excited about during surrogacy is delivering and getting to see the parents with their baby for the first time.”

“The greatest love I ever felt was the first time I got to see my children when they were born, and to be able to give that gift to someone else is a pretty powerful thing,” says Jude.

The Quinn family consists of eight people, six children converged over past and current marriage and presided over by two lovebirds, Jennifer and Jude, in a North Topeka home that can be at times teeming and chaotic. But amidst the congenial chaos, Jennifer, now in the midst of her second surrogate pregnancy, is calm and measured as she sits in the living room recounting her initial decision to become a surrogate mom.

“Obviously we love kids. We have six,” says Jennifer. “During my last pregnancy, I knew we were done, and it was at that point we started talking about [surrogacy].”

Introduced to the surrogacy process by longtime friend and neighbor, Sara Chinn, a four-time surrogate mom, the idea began to take hold in Jennifer while pregnant with her youngest.

“

The thing you're most excited about during surrogacy is delivering and getting to see the parents with their baby for the first time.”

Jennifer is the kind of pregnant woman who wears the physiological change with outward ease. When you step into the Quinn household, you feel subsumed by the patterns of the life there. And one can’t help but draw the parallel between that feeling of inclusion and Jennifer’s surrogate pregnancies.

It is as if the pregnancies have dovetailed into the life that teems here, rather than the life altering to accommodate the pregnancies. Omer and Felipe had the same instinct about the Quinns the first time they “met” during a Skype conversation facilitated by a Boston-based surrogacy agency.

“We fell in love with the energy around them,” recounts Omer. “They are both positive and inspiring people with a lot of good in their hearts.”

We can frame the moment of the two couples meeting via an internet connection and two computer screens as a moment of distillation, a precursor to conception. And while the moment is indeed significant, for Omer and Felipe, it was yet another crossroads in an arduous and lengthy journey.

For gay couples or heterosexual couples facing infertility, the surrogacy process can be intense. Living in Brooklyn, New York, Omer and Felipe were able to become acquainted with the process through an advocacy organization called Men Having Babies. From there, they found a reputable Boston-

based surrogacy agency that utilizes social workers to match intended parents with egg donors and ultimately surrogate moms. Along the way, Omer says, the storm of significant decision-making, paperwork, IVF clinic visits, expenses and legalese could be overwhelming.

“There are so many scary documents full of what if ’s, what if ’s, what if ’s,” says Omer. “You have to think about all of these issues before any potential [birth] date. There are a lot of choices to make along the way.”

For women considering surrogacy, the process can be equally daunting. Most agencies have rigorous screening processes, including lengthy phone interviews and psychological and criminal background checks. There’s also some travel involved, as well as the initial medical procedures required to begin the pregnancy.

“Along with background checks, there are questions dealing with personal philosophies and religion,” says Jude. “If something were wrong with one of the [fetuses], the parents may decide to terminate.”

“They want to make sure everyone is on the same page before it comes up,” says Jennifer. “We want it to be as smooth and joyous as possible.” continued on the next page >> XYZ xyztopeka.com

19

“

You go into it knowing this isn't my baby, it's going to go home with its parents."

After the agency paperwork is filled out, the intended parents and the potential surrogate decide whether they are a good match, and if so, the aforementioned Skype conversation happens. If all proceeds well from that point on, the process picks up speed. The couple meets with the surrogate, then the actual pregnancy—the physical part— begins. The communication between the surrogate and the awaiting parents is near-constant.

The expecting parents also travel to attend significant pregnancy milestones, like the second-trimester sonogram.

Everything is readied, like during a traditional gestation period, except that this gestation is shared across miles, and formed over existing geographical and personal divisions.

Throughout the process, the couples bridge gaps and find themselves developing a unique friendship, and one that tends to be lasting in a lot of surrogacy situations.

Sara Chinn, the friend and neighbor who introduced the Quinns to the idea of surrogacy, has been a surrogate mom four times. She still stays in touch with the first couple she delivered for because she is a part of the story of their children’s lives.

“They came into it wanting to maintain a relationship because they wanted to be able to show their children how they came to be and how they were wanted. It’s been nice to stay in contact with them,” says Sara.

One thing people outside the situation might expect is for the

surrogate mothers to speak about a connection not just with the receiving couples, but with the babies themselves. But Sara and Jennifer explain that, emotionally and psychologically, a surrogate pregnancy is nothing like a typical biological pregnancy.

“You’re going into it to help another couple. As far as the emotional toll, I’ve never had an issue. You go into it knowing this isn’t my baby, it’s going to go home with its parents,” says Sara.

“From the beginning, it’s different. You don’t wonder what they’ll look like. When a baby moves, you text the dads and they get all excited,” says Jennifer. “You see the embryos before they go in. You don’t identify the same way you do if you know the baby is coming home and is yours.”

Both Jennifer and Sara talk about the feeling of being the babies’ protectors.

“I was actually more cautious and more aware of how I was feeling when I was pregnant with someone else’s child,” says Sara.

“I feel very protective,” says Jennifer. “Even more paranoid, actually.”

Sara and Jennifer both acknowledge that the physical toll is somewhat significant, but both have had a history of easy and

healthy pregnancies. It’s one of many considerations going into the process.

Sara, who has four children of her own, has been pregnant eight times, but no one would be able to guess that just by looking at her. Sara is physically fit, and works out regularly.

“I have a good metabolism,” says Sara.

“Afterwards, the weight has come off pretty easily. We have four kids, so just being active alone has helped.

Physically, it hasn’t really affected me.”

Postpartum hormones flood the bodies of surrogate moms after childbirth, just as with a biological pregnancy.

Jennifer and Jude talk about the time immediately following Jennifer’s first surrogacy labor and delivery as being a time of bonding between them and a time to appreciate and watch the couple receive the gift of parenthood.

“Your hormones are out of balance, they’re completely out of whack. You deliver and then you’re just in the room,” says Jennifer.

“It was interesting, because all those love hormones that would usually be directed at the baby were directed at me,” says Jude. “She was madly in love with me all of a sudden. It wasn’t the baby, it was me,” he laughs.

“The dads were in the room right across from me, and I could see them right across the hall. I didn’t need to hold the babies. I was proud and felt protective of them because I’d worked so hard to make them,” says Jennifer.

Ultimately, after the delivery, the two couples part ways. The surrogate family returns to its natural patterns, and the new parents return home to bond with their children and learn the ropes of becoming a family.

“

I was actually more cautious and more aware of how I was feeling when I was pregnant with someone else's child."

Surrogate mothers are compensated financially for the process, but both Sara and Jennifer say that the extra money is the icing on the cake.

“When I first started researching surrogacy, I had no idea there would be financial compensation, but I knew I wouldn’t be stuck with medical bills or spend a bunch of money on maternity clothes. When I found out [about financial compensation], I was pleasantly surprised,” says Sara. “You work with an agency. They handle all the financial stuff. You never have to talk to the couple about money.”

The pregnancy does require quite a bit of sacrifice, not just on the part of the surrogate mother, but also the family surrounding her.

“People worry the most that Jennifer is going to be emotionally connected to the baby. But the hardest part is taking time away from being with kids or going to a basketball game because she feels tired, because she’s doing something for someone else. It’s a sacrifice,” says Jude. “Short of giving your own life, you’re giving the greatest possible thing you can give, giving a child to a parent. You’re giving the gift of life, and I think it’s worth the slight inconvenience.”

The end result of all the paperwork, travel, communication, financial matters, physical gestation and delivery, is, of course, the children.

On the Friday evening when I reached Omer over the phone to discuss his path to fatherhood, he was with his family at an outing in the park in Brooklyn. He handed over Daniel and Benjamin, now 14-months-old, to Felipe to focus on telling his story. Omer’s voice sometimes quaked with emotion over the hardships of the intense two-year journey that culminated in meeting his sons in that Topeka delivery room last September. But his voice lifts perceptively when he talks about Daniel and Benjamin today. “Benjamin is a social butterfly, he makes friends with everyone,” he says.

“And Daniel is very independent, focused on his own games.

He likes to sing with me.”

But even in the hectic day-to-day of being a father to two growing toddlers, Omer thinks often of Jennifer and Jude and the incredible gift they gave.

“We had an amazing journey together, and I will forever be grateful to them,” says Omer. “They’re a part of who we are and what we are. There is always room in our hearts for them.” XYZ TOPEKA XYZ xyztopeka.com

21

armed with a diagnosis the autism diagnosis doesn't change the child, but it can empower parents

One out of every 88 children is autistic, which impacts nearly every community. Special educational arrangements and therapy are needed for an autistic child. Access to this treatment can be an issue, but so can awareness, as parents don’t always realize that their child has special needs.

“The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that all kids be screened for autism before the age of two,” says Jim Leiker, President and CEO of the Easter Seals Capper Foundation. “Is that happening? Probably not.” As a result, many kids end up at school with, “Developmental delays or disabilities that have not been determined or screened or assessed or anything else, so they tend to fall behind their peers,” and might not catch up. So what is needed is, “To identify kids as early as possible and give the help they need at whatever age.”

To make the screening for autism more accessible, researchers have developed the Ages and Stages Questionnaire (ASQ), a thirty-question online tool that would enable any adult to receive advice about a child’s developmental progress. Capper’s Vice President of Pediatric Services, Debbie O’Neill, explains that results from the region come to them.

“If there are some concerns or questions, then we can help them find a resource, whether they come

by Cale Herreman • photos by Keith Czechanski | Keith Czechanski Photography

“

As a first time parent, none of the signs were obvious, because we didn't have anything to compare to.”

to Capper for a more complete assessment, or start with their health care provider.”

The ASQ won’t provide a diagnosis, but can point the way to one.

The Anders family has learned a lot about early detection.

Brady, 4, was diagnosed with autism one year ago.

“As a first time parent, none of the signs were obvious, because we didn’t have anything to compare to,” says his mother, Audrey.

Brady didn’t make eye contact, and he didn’t speak unless he wanted something from his parents.

Some child specialists suggested that Brady might be autistic, but when the official diagnosis was made, Audrey felt unready for it; she looked to her husband, Chris, who

assured her, “He’s the same. He’s exactly the same.” Their son didn’t change, but Audrey, “Walked out of there completely different.” She was now on a quest to find the best treatment for Brady that she could.

Through a connection she made, Audrey heard about the Kansas Center for Autism Research and Training at KU. Brady is now receiving daily treatment, and his parents have seen a world of difference.

“I always ask, ‘How was your day today? What did you do?’ even though I knew he wouldn’t say much, I would keep trying to ask questions, to hope that one day I’m going to hear something,” says Chris of picking up Brady and talking on the drive home. “Out of the blue, he asked, ‘Daddy, where’s Mommy?’ I almost wrecked the car! It was the first time he ever asked me a question.” XYZ TOPEKA

the stare

by Jacob Moulin • special to XYZ

Have you ever gotten “the stare”?

You know the one – the look people give when your

child is doing something outrageous in public worthy of the scrutinizing, often judgmental, stare of bystanders. My son, Hank, he gets the stare – a lot.

Hank was a good baby. He rarely cried and was always

content to watch his mommy fold laundry or his dad hard at work on the computer. It wasn’t until he was 18-months old that I knew something wasn’t right. Hank wasn’t speaking very much, and he would hit milestones and then seemingly regress.

He went to pediatricians and child psychologists. He got his ears checked to make sure his

hearing was fine. The experts all seemed to agree. Give him time. Don’t worry. But in the back of my mind I knew. I’d seen the videos on YouTube. I viewed countless clips of children exhibiting the same curious, tell-tale behaviors my toddler was displaying. I didn’t want to admit it, but the evidence mounted with every video I watched of a child with autism.

The diagnosis came a few months after Hank’s second birthday. Professionals from the University of Kansas Medical Center observed Hank, and a week later a panel of them told me and Hank’s mother via teleconference that our son was “definitely on the autism spectrum.”

Instantly, my dreams of Hank playing sports, going to prom, going to college, getting married, and having children of his own were crushed. It was the single hardest thing I’ve ever had to hear in my life. Why? Why him? Why my family?

How could this happen? In that moment, I needed someone or something to blame. But, as we all know, autism has no definitive cause. There are no answers.

As difficult as hearing the diagnosis was, the hardest part was yet to begin. Our family had to figure out what he needed, and how we could help him. I set to work finding an ABA therapist, figuring out what my insurance policy would cover, investigating special diets, and asking the school system what services they could provide.

a father's story of confronting — and accepting — his son's autism Almost immediately I hit a stumbling block

when I fell into the unfortunate trap of trying to “cure” Hank’s autism, which was an ultimately fruitless, expensive, and painful journey. In my grief, I was tricked into believing that fad diets, voodoo medicine, vitamins, and supplements might lead to his being cured. But it was all for naught.

At some point, I just accepted that I was chosen

to share in raising this child. It took time, but I was finally able to stop asking, “Why me?” And start asking, “Why not me?”

Hank has been in a consistent therapy program now for three-and-a-half years, has successfully

completed pre-school, and is now in kindergarten at a public school. And he is thriving. He is loved by his teachers, paraprofessionals, and classmates. His friends give him hugs in the morning and hold his hand as they stand in line.

The children play with him at recess, always making sure to include him. Hank’s speech has gone from non-existent to effectively communicating most of his needs. He excels in many academic areas far beyond the knowledge and capability of an average kindergartener. He successfully potty-trained at age four, and he says “please” and “thank you.” Just like any other child, he makes his dad proud.

He is still a child with autism. He often “flaps,” among other tics associated with the disorder. He sings songs at the top of his lungs in crowded restaurants. He is terrified at the prospect of using a public restroom. He is routinely frustrated when he fails to understand the complexities of a social situation. In short, he does a lot of things that make people stare.

What those people staring do not see, however, is just how much he has overcome – how much we have overcome together. They do not see what it is like for my youngest child, who is “normal,” but knows his big brother is not. They do not see Hank as the funny, clever, quirky, miraculous boy that I know. The stare hurts sometimes, but what the people looking at him don’t realize is that I wouldn’t change a thing about my son with autism.

They can stare all they want, because, my son? He’s amazing.

Maj. Jacob Moulin serves in the United States Army, and is currently stationed at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. He is the proud father of two amazing sons, Hank and Jack.

24

xyztopeka.com XYZ

cool kid's bday

a super sweet birthday HAZEL HILL TOPEKA 724 S. KANSAS AVE. 785.215.8883

by Cale Herreman

H

azel Hill Chocolate, creator of delicious confections and fantastic aromas on Kansas Avenue since 2006, is also a venue for birthday parties! Any chocolate lover, of any age, should find this exciting. It is fitting, then, that the owner’s last name rhymes with, ‘excite us!’

“We have a fudge making demonstration. [Guests are] very involved in that. Then they all get to come in the back. We talk about tempering chocolate, and they get to make a bark of their own. The kids will learn something, and will have tasty treats to take home with them,” owner Terry Xidis explains.

There will be dipping, but the chocolate is only at ninety degrees; it does not need to be very warm to melt, as anyone who has left candy in a car can attest.

“They don’t get really close to the hot stove, and they don’t cook in the kettle,” Xidis says of young partygoers.

After the baking action behind the counter, which lasts between 45 minutes and an hour, the party can return to the customer area, where there is a table for exchanging gifts and enjoying cake, or other sweet treats from the shop.

Xidis says that party guests must be at least eight years of age.

“We don’t have any risers for them to stand on, so they have to be a certain height just to work at the tables.” Incidentally, she says, “we also have adult parties.”

Parties are $96 for a minimum of eight guests. To book a party, contact Xidis at chocolate@HazelHillChocolate.com.

photos by Aundrea Shafer A Shafer Photography

XYZ TOPEKA

b y J a n i c e Wa t k i n s • p h o t o s b y Z a c Full disclosure: Oliver is the son of two XYZ staff members, but we thought

some kids just want to flip.

the top city bounce Ollie’s house

Zach Snethen ought Ollie's house was just too cool not to share.

by Nicole Huckins • photos by Keith Czechanski Keith Czechanski Photography

It’s bounce.

Literally.

a crisp, sunny Saturday morning at Top City Athletics, and the gym is packed with parents and their children getting ready to

The air is buzzing with quiet excitement, as the members of the tumbling and trampoline team carefully extend and stretch in preparation for their practice. The coaches make their way through the rows of boys and girls, carefully watching to ensure each athlete is in top form. Then it’s time to hit the ground running. And tumbling. And flipping.

And flying.

“These trampolines are not like the kind you see in the backyard,” explains Wendy Cobler-Chambers, owner of the gym and head coach of the team.

Trampoline has quickly grown in popularity across the world, particularly after it was introduced as an Olympic event during the Sydney Games in 2000.

“I push it in their heads, gold, gold, gold!” said CoblerChambers, pounding her fist into her hand.

The team competes in three separate events -- floor, double mini trampolines, and the trampoline. Ranging in age from seven to seventeen, their grueling competition season begins in January and finishes with a national competition in July.

“You see all shapes and sizes, I think that’s why I picked this

From top left (clockwise): Anne Posch, Makaila Ricioppi, David Montgomery, Maria Bures

sport,” said Cobler-Chambers, gesturing to her own figure with a smile. “The longer and heavier you are, the higher you will jump.”

Just spend a little time watching this team and you’ll see the dedication and commitment required from these youngsters, who meet as many as three times a week for practice. But as Cobler-Chambers explains, it’s not all work and no play.

“The kids get a good workout and a boost to their selfconfidence,” she said. “I’ll bring in a trampoline if they want to perform in their school talent show.”

Several members have been with the team for years.

MaKaila Ricioppi ,17, has been a trampolinist for 15 years, starting at the tender age of two.

“I like it, it’s fun,” she smiles and reveals that she has been competing for seven years with two national titles in the double mini under her belt.

“Normally when you do sports you get tired of it, but I don’t,” said Rachael Beal, 14, who also began with CoblerChambers when she was two-years old, “It’s just fun.”

Trampoline is a sport that demands hard-work, gracefulness, and dedication from its competitors. And, of course, like any other sport, trampoliners must have passion for the sport.

As Cobler-Chambers puts it, “Some kids just want to flip.”

XYZ TOPEKA

Hundreds of unique gift items at $50 or less.

414 SE 2nd Street Tues, Thurs, Fri, Sat 11a - 5:30p warehouse414.com

822 North Kansas Ave. NOTO Arts District 785.232.8300 open Mon-Sat 11am-8 pm

Weddings Receptions Serendipity

Class Reunions Business Meetings Holiday Parties

785.286.7676 820 N Kansas

check in on foursquare for specials

glamour shots

by Annie Brock

T

here are few times in my life I recall feeling envy as strongly as I did passing the Glamour Shots storefront at Westridge Mall as an impressionable tween girl. I’d wistfully peer through the double-paned glass, watching the women as they were transformed into feather boa-ed, bighaired, bejeweled vixens ready for their close-ups.

My friends would come to school after a weekend trip to the chain vanity-portrait studio rich with tales of their makeover sessions and flashing the wallet-sized proof that their lives were more exotic than mine. I would listen in wonderment as they regaled me with stories of industrial-sized cans of hair spray, racks of the finest sequined blazers, and feather boas that came in every color of the rainbow.

I was consumed with jealousy! Glamour Shots took my ordinary, ho-hum middle-school classmates and turned them into sophisticated sex kittens. Girls with no prior modeling experience managed to nail the signature nonchalant tug on the studded collars of their borrowed leather jackets. They stared at the camera with piercing eyes and a serious mouth that conveyed a mixture of sultry sex appeal and imminent constipation. They cocked their heads toward the camera in curious and unsettling ways that said, Me? I’m not a slave to comfort or spinal columns. I’m glamorous!

Sadly, it was never to be. The Glamour Shot chain packed up and moved out of town before I convinced my parents I

“

I'll never be a part of the Glamour Shot club. I'll never know what it's like to grit a long-stemmed rose in my teeth while I give the camera my best bedroom eyes in the middle of a bustling mall.” needed a chance to don the silk gloves, bare my shoulders, and receive my commemorative photo package that proved I, too, was worthy.

Lots of girls say I’m lucky. Those photos have a way of following a person around for a lifetime, they say. As if having photographic proof that you once had the clavicle of a Greek goddess is a bad thing? I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t tried to re-create the Glamour Shot experience. Sure, I can wrap my chest in a boa, snap a selfie, and run it through the Hefe filter on Instagram, but it’s not the same.

I’ll never be part of the Glamour Shot club. I’ll never know what it’s like to grit a long-stemmed rose in my teeth while I give the camera my best bedroom eyes in the middle of a bustling mall. Twenty-some years later, I’ll still catch a phantom whiff of V-05 Extra Hold on the air – a crushing reminder that I don’t belong. I’ll forever be the girl on the other side of the glass. XYZ TOPEKA XYZ xyztopeka.com

29

30

xyztopeka.com XYZ

If the Shoe Fits Motherhood & body image b y J a n i c e Wa t k i n s • p h o t o s b y M e g a n R o g e r s | M e g a n R o g e r s P h o t o g r a p h i e

My daughter caught me staring at myself in the mirror after I exited the shower… again. She undoubtedly saw the grimaces I was making at

myself and overheard the curse words that I was muttering under my breath. Five minutes later when I thought I was in the clear, she caught me again. Only this time, I was on the

bathroom scale trying to fight back sobs. Too bad I wasn’t quick enough to stop that lone tear from sliding down my cheek.

Two hours later, I went to tuck that beautiful girl in and I overheard her telling her baby doll that she was too fat and needed to go on a diet. I could not stop the tears that time.

<< From left to right (clockwise): 1. Mother of (almost) 4, "I care for women at their most vulnerable and powerful, and doing something so wonderful, I feel stronger and more confident in my own body." 2. Mother of 2, "I can do all of these things that I never thought I could do with my body." 3. Mother of 2, "I celebrate my body and hope everyone can love their body as much as I love mine, imperfections and all." 4. Mother of 1, with the sneakers that helped her finish her first 5K. (Below): 3 sisters, mothers to 6 total, unite in celebration of their post-pregnancy bodies.

continued on the nextxyztopeka.com page >> XYZ

31

Body image makes us all vulnerable. From the preschooler who incorporates the words ‘fat’, ‘ugly’ and ‘saggy’ into her pretend play to the grandmother who refuses to take off her cover-up at the local pool for fear of being judged for her wrinkles and purplish veins, body image is something that impacts us all.

After all, it is hard to make the literal weight that body image carries in society any lighter when the value of someone’s selfworth is often defined by the number of likes she gets on a social media site after posting a “selfie” or the measurement of her “thigh gap”.

For one afternoon on a cool day in October, however, XYZ attempted to change all of that. We invited over twenty mothers to our NOTO office with a call for women to embrace their bodies. We asked them to embrace the bodies they have and wear them with pride. We allowed them to bring their own special pair of shoes and truly embody the “If the Shoe Fits” motto – wearing their perfectly fitting footwear and realizing that their bodies are perfectly fitted in the same way – to each of them individually.

It was a life-changing experience.

“ <<

I had been thinking about today, and it occurred to me that my mom had an eating disorder and passed that to me and I have a daughter and I want to break that cycle.”

Mother of 2, "Even though my body doesn't look like it did before kids, I still do the things I did before kids."

Polly approached me before her individual photo shoot shyly.

She had stayed fairly quiet during the animated discussion before we all started disrobing. I asked her what shoes she planned to wear during her photo and she quickly held up a pair of running shoes and excitedly proclaimed that they had gotten her through her first 5K. “Growing up, fat had never been a discussion for me,” she said. “But for me over the summer we gardened a lot and my daughter was out with me in her two-piece bathing suit and a girl looked at her and said ‘what a roly poly’…I took off my shirt right there and played with her in the hose in my sports bra.”

Polly never had a bad perception of her body growing up, but she realizes the impact that society and body image have and will continue to have on her daughter and so she stood up for herself and her daughter that day while the two frolicked in the cool drizzle of the hose and she stood up for herself and her daughter that day in our studio.

With negative body image spreading like a near plague, many mothers arrived that day, not only for themselves, but for their children.

continued on the next page >>

>> Mother of 3, including twins. "I don't ever want my children to hear me talk bad about my body."

XYZ xyztopeka.com

33

34

xyztopeka.com XYZ

“

My 12-year-old is bigger than me, and suddenly she’s gotten this idea that she needs to be this skinny thing and has started skipping meals and saying things like ‘you’re so lucky you can fit into those.’ I don’t want her to assume that skinny is the way to be. I want her to be perfect in her own skin.”

>> continued from previous page

“I don’t want my daughters, or my son for that matter, to grow up thinking there’s anything wrong with them because of me,” said Heather.

“In my adult life, I’ve always had a bad body image. The [kids] rearranged things in a way I was not expecting,” added Jessica. “But I don’t ever want my children to hear me talk bad about my body.”

Megan quickly agreed and was quick to point out a common theme – negative body image is usually inherited from a parent.

“Someone could tell me a million times ‘you are beautiful the way you are’ and it wouldn’t resonate with me. My mom is not comfortable with me being comfortable.

She is not ok with me being ok, which is probably why I’m not ok” she sighed. “I am hoping this helps heal me and it’s getting better along the way.”

Alissa echoed Megan’s sorrow over growing up with a parent that only believed in the mythical “ideal” body.

“I love my mom, but I grew up thinking I’m a fat kid, but I was athletic,” said Alissa recalling yo-yo dieting and weight monitoring. “It wasn’t until I was in my mid-20s that I realized that most kids don’t get trucked around to Weight Watchers meetings.”

continued on the next page >>

boys and body image

by Cale Herreman

B

oys are not immune to anxiety over their bodies.

They are also subject to media images and talk from peers about what the male form should look like. Unfortunately, and yet again, this often is a cause of bullying.

Julien Mehrens, 10, has been on the receiving end of that.

“People have been making fun of my weight,” he says.

“People say it, then blame it on someone else.”

“It makes me feel terrible. I just feel like I want to punch a hole in the wall.” For all the pain he’s going through, he appears to be taking a constructive attitude. “I have started working out a little.”

For some boys, though, their own concerns could lead to unhealthy, compulsive behavior.

“There is a common misperception that boys and men just don’t have eating disorders,” says Gabriella Adorino, a therapist at Florence Crittenton Services, adding that they are, “hesitant to seek treatment because of the stigma attached to having a ‘female problem.’”

Adorino cites a recent study that reports that 18% of adolescent boys are “extremely concerned” about their bodies, with most of them focused on muscularity.

“The number of magazines targeting men has grown significantly,” she says. “Those articles and advertisements are aimed at body building and muscle toning. Our culture is increasingly idealizing muscle definition in male bodies just the way it has idealized thinness in women for many years.”

Boys could become driven to change their bodies due to idealized media images, teasing or athletics: wanting to have a ‘swimmer’s body,’ for example. Possible warnings signs that it is going too far can include: changes in weight, changes in the amount of food eaten, changes in mood, and anxiety over missing a workout.

“When any of these signs takes priority over previously enjoyed relationships and activities, it is definitely time to contact a professional for help,“ says Adorino. “Early intervention can reduce the risk of medical complications and also decreases the risk of difficulties in school, work and personal relationships.”

<< From left to right (clockwise): 1. Mother to 3 lovely ladies. 2. Mother of 2. "I would never give up the privilege of giving up being the mother of my children just to get my hight school body back. 3. Mother of 2. "I don't want my daughter to assume that skinny is the way to be. I want her to be perfect in her own skin. 4. Mother of 4. "I'm proud of birthing a 9 lb, 7 oz baby naturally, and I feel stronger than people think I look."

36

xyztopeka.com XYZ

“

It wasn’t until I was in my mid-20s that I realized that most kids don’t get trucked around to Weight Watchers meetings.”

>> continued from previous page

For Stephanie, the realization was even harsher.

“I had been thinking about today and it occurred to me that my mom had an eating disorder and passed that to me and I have a daughter and I want to break that cycle.”

For some, that day was a day to celebrate the end of that cycle.

“I almost died at 29,” said Christy of her lifelong struggle with an eating disorder. “I am wearing military boots because I am a military wife, but I’ve also been through the battle. It’s a fight – you have to fight it every day in recovery.”

Megan shared in Christy’s joy over winning the battle.

“I grew up anorexic and would starve myself. In the 6th and 7th grades, I would eat two pieces of bread a week and my hair started falling out. People always complimented me on my hair and when it started falling out that was it. I got help,” said Megan. “Beauty is the last thing I want people to focus on,” she continued, adding that her family does not use the "F" word in her house – "fat."

While some were quick to acknowledge their extra pounds or their “deflated pumpkin” tummies, others were quick to

add that even though skinny is often thought of as the sought after status, it is not always the blessing that people kill themselves seeking.

As a kid, Angie often endured endless bullying because of her weight.

“The kids would say ‘Oh, you’re so skinny. I hate you’ but it was not a compliment,” Angie shared through tears.

“My 12-year old is bigger than me,” added Ann. “And suddenly she’s gotten this idea that she needs to be this skinny thing and has started skipping meals and saying things like ‘you’re so lucky you can fit into those.’ I don’t want her [daughter] to assume that skinny is the way to be. I want her to be perfect in her own skin.”

Tears were shed, fears were shared and we all stripped off our layers – literally and embraced our bodies with a goal to feel be”you”tiful in our own skin.

“I’ve learned to love my pointy parts and my curvy parts as this body that could do all of these things that I never thought it could do,” smiled Angie. XYZ TOPEKA

Join us for a very special

First Friday reception on Friday, December 6 at 6p at the Gravity Gallery and Shops in NOTO as XYZ debuts the If the Shoe Fits art show in its entirety. All participating women’s portraits will be on display. Come hear more about our day of empowerment and the messages shared.

XYZ would like to thank the following sponsors of If the Shoe Fits Art Exhibition:

Ryan J. Gigous

XYZ xyztopeka.com

37

ART!

duct tape wallets

by Blake Zachritz • photos by Megan Rogers | Megan Rogers Photographie

T

his is a fun project to do with your child. These wallets, or pouches, also make wonderful gifts. Grown-up assistance may be helpful for some of the tape cutting. The residue on duct tape can quickly make your scissors sticky, which makes it harder to cut the tape. Gummy residue will clean right off with a few wipes of WD40 and a paper towel when the project is completed.

What you need…

One piece of craft felt cut to 4.5” x 10” Felt for two wallets can be cut from one small sheet of felt from a craft store, which is usually 9” x 12”

Duct tape in pattern and color of choice Duct tape comes in so many wild and wonderful colors and patterns. This article demonstrates wallets being made with one solid and one pattern; resulting in a wallet with stripes. Plain duct tape from a hardware store can be used as well.

Scissors A flat surface such as a counter or non-precious tabletop to do initial taping.

What you do…

1. Position your felt in front of you on the work surface.

2. Begin with either solid or pattern tape as your first stripe and alternate rolls from there. Lay the first piece diagonally across one corner, allowing the tape to clear the felt on either end by at least a half an inch, for fold over later. Use the next roll of tape and measure and cut your second stripe which will be longer. Overlap the new stripe onto the first stripe by an even increment of space 38

xyztopeka.com XYZ

and make the stripes parallel. A good overlap is ¼” to ½”. Be sure tape clears the felt on either end.

3. Repeat step 2 and 3 until entire piece of felt is covered.

Gently burnish the tape down so each piece is adhered to the felt, as well as to the next piece of tape.

4. Beginning at one corner, carefully peel back the tape and felt from the work surface, being sure tape layers and the felt stay together. Flip it over so that the sticky side is facing up and the diagonal design is facing down.

5. Carefully fold one long side of sticky tape in on top of the felt. Be careful to make your fold exactly along the edge of the felt so your wallet will be straight. Fold the next long side, followed by one short end, and then the final end. Burnish each layer down carefully with the turning of each end.

6. Now, you have a striped side and an end piece side. You will cover the ragged end pieces with three long pieces of duct tape. Choose whichever one you want to be the inside of the wallet and cut three pieces just less than ten inches in length. You want it about a quarter inch inside the wallet to the opposite end. If it is too long, your wallet will have a sticky spot. If it is too short you will have exposed ragged ends. Put a long piece on each side, covering all the rough ends of tape, and finishing with one long piece right down the middle.

e c a l p r u Yo

fun with friends iPads and gaming

books graphic novels homework help comics magazines tscpl.org/tween

7. Triple fold your wallet and measure two pieces the length of the compartment section. Lay it lengthwise along the seam, lining it carefully so it doesn’t hang of either edge, or leave too big of an opening. Hold the wallet and carefully pull the remaining side of tape around to the other side of the wallet. Repeat on the other side.

8. Attach two self-stick Velcro dots to the inside corners of your wallet flap. You might prefer one Velcro dot in the center. Velcro dots can be found in a craft store or in the notions department of a fabric store.

9. You can dress up your wallet by making a bow and sewing it on, or by enhancing with stitchery or beadwork in the flap.

Blake Zachritz, Art Teacher Topeka Collegiate School, Topeka, Kansas

1515 SW 10th Avenue | Topeka, KS 66604-1374 | www.tscpl.org 785 580-4565 | M–F 9 am –9 pm | S at 9 am –6 pm | Sun 12 pm –9 pm

broccoli & ricotta cannelloni slip in the vitamins without compromising taste

by Josh Luttrell • photo by Josh Luttrell

G

etting kids to eat broccoli can be difficult at times. Here is a way to sneak it in to a really great meal. You can substitute out some of the broccoli with cauliflower if you have it.

ingredients • 1 Package of cannelloni tubes( manicotti works too) • 2 medium sized heads of broccoli (about 4 cups broccoli florets) • 1 cup Italian bread crumbs (regular works just fine) • 1/2 cup milk • 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil • 1 cup ricotta cheese • 1 cup shredded Parmesan (or grated) • 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes • Salt and pepper to taste • 2 cups marinara sauce • 1 cup of mozzarella (if available)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Mix together the bread crumbs, milk, ricotta cheese, 1/2 cup of the Parmesan and the red pepper flakes.

Depending on the equipment you have at home you can boil the pasta per instruction (usually 7 minutes) and steam the broccoli at the same time. If you decide to cook the broccoli, it is important to ensure that it is a little overcooked (approximately 9 minutes steamed). It should a little firm but easily mashable. When the pasta is finished cooking, rinse in cool water to stop the cooking process and to cool the pasta for easier handling. Mash the broccoli with a potato masher until fairly uniform. I prefer larger chunks, but keep mashing if you want a more consistent filling. Add the broccoli to the cheese mixture. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Put the mixture in a Ziploc bag, cut the end, and fill the tubes.

Arrange tubes in baking dish and cover with marinara sauce.

Sprinkle with remaining parmesan and mozzarella. Bake at 375 degrees for 25 minutes. I like to turn on the broiler for a couple extra minutes to brown any cheese on top.

XYZ TOPEKA

40

xyztopeka.com XYZ

keen eye 6 differences between these photos. Can you tell what they are? Answer key on page 47 There are

b y J u l i e Ve l e z

by Annie Brock illustration by Elaine Rodriguez

The Kansas sweetheart necklace by Topeka jewelry artisan Bailey Marable is a quirky, subtle piece of jewelry that shows hometown pride in a big way. The sterlingsilver Kansas-shaped pendant is sweet on its own, but the addition of a personalized cutout over the Kansas town closest to your heart will make this necklace a treasure for any true Kansas girl. And coming soon, Marable’s necklaces will be sold at the Kansas Capitol gift shop where you can visit the refurbished Capitol dome and pick up one of her darling necklaces made with the salvaged signature oxidized copper patina from the dome’s former façade. etsy.com/baykivo >> continued pg 46

XYZ xyztopeka.com

41

Great selection, great brands at the best price. buy, sell and so Much More!

Newborn Clothes Children & Maternity Clothes Baby Equipment Toys, Books and so much more!

3703 SW Burlingame Rd.

266-0375 | www.mommyandmetopeka.com

DARE TO DREAM................DARE TO LIVE................DARE TO BE YOU. A SHAFER PHOTOGRAPHY WWW.ASHAFERPHOTOGRAPHY.COM 42

xyztopeka.com XYZ

620.757.1237

AUNDREA@ASHAFERPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

KS reads for winter b y J a s o n J . L a m b , T w e e n L i b r a r i a n , To p e k a a n d S h a w n e e C o u n t y P u b l i c L i b r a r y

L

ook! Two upcoming opportunities to celebrate children’s book authors from Kansas! The Topeka and Shawnee County Public Library is hosting a Local Author Fair Dec 8 featuring 60+ writers. And, Kansas Day is right around the corner on Jan. 29. Get local with your children’s literature when you check out these authors.

ALICE SUE BERTELS Originally from Winchester, this Topeka teacher has written a young-reader biography, John Steuart Curry: The Road Home, about the man who painted the iconic image of John Brown in the Statehouse.

BEVERLEY OLSON BULLER Buller has published two biographies for young readers about two Kansans, From Emporia: The Story of William Allen White and A Prairie Peter Pan: The Story of Mary White. This Kansan also is the chair of the William Allen White Book Award selection committee.

ROMUALDO R. CHAVEZ Born and raised in Topeka and a graduate of Topeka High School, Chavez has written a young adult novel for horror fans titled, El Vampiro and the Curse of the Feathered Serpent: A Novel Novel.

LISA HARKRADER This small town Kansas girl writes children’s chapter books and young adult novels.

Airball: My Life in Briefs won the William Allen White Award, so you know it’s kidapproved. Check out another popular one, The Adventures of Beanboy.

ERIC MCHENRY This Topekan and Washburn University professor has a great book of poetry and charming woodcuts titled Mommy Daddy Evan Sage: Poems. Got inquisitive kids who are good at sharing their insights on life? Well then, it will feel like home reading this book.

JOHN C. RALSTON Born and raised in Lawrence, Ralston left Kansas for art school. But he came back to our state, and his fantasy-based chapter book, The Secret of Invisibility, takes place in his hometown.

DEVIN SCILLIAN Born in Ft. Riley and a graduate of the University of Kansas, you might know this author from these popular picture books: S is for Sunflower: A Kansas Alphabet and One Kansas Farmer: A Kansas Number Book Book. His newest titles, Johnny Kaw: A Tall Tale and Memoirs of a Hamster Hamster, are worth a read too.

BRAD SNEED This Kansas illustrator has worked on many great books. He illustrated Devin Scillian’s Johnny Kaw: A Tall Tale. Your children will also want to check out Cock-a-Doodle-Doo, Creak, Pop-pop, Moo and The Boy Who Was Raised by Librarians (our particular favorite).

CLARE VANDERPOOL Vanderpool was born and raised in Wichita and still lives there with her husband and four children. Her first book, Moon over Manifest, takes place in Kansas and won the prestigious Newbery Medal. Her second book, Navigating Early, came out in 2013.

XYZ TOPEKA XYZ xyztopeka.com

43

d.i.y.

owl pillow

Add a fun new pillow to your home décor. This owl pillow is perfect for any room in the house and is also a great use for small scraps of fabric you’ve been hoarding for that perfect project.

Supplies: Owl Fabric 1/4 yard Wool Felt* *Use fabric that doesn’t ravel for a clean look (felt, knit, suede/leather).

Printed Cotton was used for the Large Eye Piece which will ravel, but adds to the overall look.

Pillow Fabric 5/8 yard Medium-weight Cotton, Linen or Wool (yardage depending on pillow size**) Sewing & Craft Tape Pillow Form in desired size (20” x 20”) Thread

44

xyztopeka.com XYZ

tutorial by Erin Snethen photo by Erin Snethen

printable tutorial: xyztopeka.com/d-i-y-sewing/

Owl Instructions: 1. Cut out Owl Pieces: Owl Head, Right Wing* & Left Wing, Four Eye Pieces (small & large) and Nose *Make sure to add 1 1/4” to bottom, along dotted line, for 2. Starting with Wings, overlap Left Wing to Right Wing. To secure fabric before stitching, use Sewing & Craft Tape. Use tape on wrong side, along seam allowance. Topstitch in place.

3. Overlap Owl Head to Wings, secure using tape.

Topstitch in place.

4. Using tape, secure all Eye Pieces and Nose to Owl. Topstitch two Large Eye Pieces in place.

Zigzag (or topstitch) two Small Eye Pieces in place. Topstitch Nose Piece in place.

g chin Stit

Line

p3

- Ste

ne - Step 2

Pillow

Stitching Li

5. Choose desired pillow size** and form. Cut out two Pillow Pieces. **Rule of thumb, pillow fabric should be cut the same size as pillow form, which includes 1/2” seam allowance. Example: 20” x 20” Pillow Form; 20” x 20” Pillow Fabric (Cut 2).

6. Working with one Pillow Piece, center Owl on right side. Make sure to line up lower Owl edge to lower Pillow edge. Secure with tape. Topstitch in place along outer edges.

Along dotted line Add ¾" below for bottom and ½" for seam allowance Total 1¼"

7. Placing wrong sides together, pin Pillow Pieces.

Using 1/2” seam allowance, stitch Pillow Pieces together. Leave 10” opening along center lower edge. Turn to right side.

8. Insert Pillow Form through opening. For a professional look, Slipstitch (or Edgestitch by machine) opening closed.

Slipstitch: Slide needle through folded fabric edge. Pick up a thread of fabric underneath folded edge.

Edgestitch: On right side, stitch close to finished edge or seam.

Topstitch: On right side, stitch ¼” from edge, seamline, or as directed.

XYZ TOPEKA

heard + noted

This morning after we presented my husband with his birthday card, six-year-old Sophia said, “Well that was a short party.” – submitted by Melissa

what Topeka kids are saying

My 4 year old: “Mommy don’t call people stupid. That’s a bad word.

Call them idiots.” – submitted by Barbara

“XYZ Heard and Noted” on Facebook

Natalie (7): “Are you absolutely sure I am not related to a princess? Because I really love animals and I’m pretty sure I can understand when they talk.” - submitted by Adrianne Me: Alyssa, your shorts are too small now.

Alyssa (3): No mommy, you can’t see my butt cheeks yet. – submitted by Nikki This all happened in this exact order. All in about 15 seconds.

Alec (7): Did you know that the Titanic had 4 funnels but only 3 that really worked?

Do I have to take a bath tonight?

I know was a pagina is. A fffagina is a girl’s private part. – submitted by Amie My 8-year old nephew’s favorite animal is the colossal squid. With that said we went to Olive Garden tonight for dinner. While trying to get him to try calamari I told him it was squid and he should try it.

Nephew: Uncle John I’m not going to eat my favorite animal.

The server (Angie): How is the appetizer?

Me: It’s good but this dude (pointing to nephew) won’t try it… He told me he won’t eat his favorite animal.

Nephew (after the server left): Uncle John, you don’t have to tell it all out there man. – submitted by John

Bundle up the kids and head over to the newly revamped children’s section of the Topeka-Shawnee County Library for a little hometown fun. If the salt-water aquarium or the indoor school bus don’t capture your child’s attention, the Tyrannosaurus Rex bursting through the library ceiling most certainly will! The new displays enliven the space and are sure to energize the imaginations of young readers citywide. While you’re there, snag a few winter-themed classics to snuggle up with and share. We recommend The Tomten

by Astrid Lindgren, The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats, or The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder.

LISTEN TO THIS The plucky 12-year old heroine of Moon Over Manifest, another historical fiction novel set in Kansas, will endear herself to you inside the first chapter of this delightful novel. Rough-andtumble Abilene Tucker is just one of a cast of unforgettable characters who make the dusty, longforgotten town of Manifest, Kansas come alive with humor, intrigue, and heart. This Newbery Medal-winning novel from Wichita author Clare Vanderpool makes for an excellent read, and has been adapted into to an even better audiobook. Pitch-perfect narration of this tantalizing tale will be a hit with children and adults alike, and make long road trips to your holiday destinations go by in a flash.

poem corner [ Poems by Real Kids]

Little Gal

by Noah Long, age 7 Poor little Gal, sitting by the street.

Poor little Gal who has nothing to eat.

Poor little Gal, walking down the road.

Poor little Gal gets scared by a toad.

Lucky little Gal--a man shows up.

Lucky little Gal--gets some supp.

When I am Alone

Happy little Gal, dancing in dreamland.

Happy little Gal, dancing in dreamland.

by Anna H.

When I am alone I don't make a chitter or chatter. I don't look at the birds flitter or flatter. Just me and the field.

keen eye key

The Big Snow

by Noah Long, age 8 There was a blizzard.

There was a snow.

We watched the wind blow and blow.

We saw the big snow-We saw the ice, we saw the snow, we saw the big big beautiful snow.

The snow was deep, the snow was thick.

The snow! The snow!

It’s falling down quick.

Do you know a budding young poet? If you think he or she would like to see their work in print, send it our way: xyztopeka@gmail.com.We’d love to be their first publication credit!