A Gif t for Your Sweetheart Magazine
By Carla Al Haddad
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and people are already stressed out about what to do and what to buy for their special someone. Do you want to steal your loved one’s heart away on this Valentine’s Day? Then let love conquer you both! Put your fear of awful gifts aside and allow me to recommend some gift ideas that your loved one will adore. Valentine’s Day is a great occasion to get cuddly and romantic with your spouse, partner, husband, wife, beloved, girlfriend or boyfriend. However, matching your feelings and emotions with a gift isn’t easy as it seems. To say “I love you” to your sweetheart is an everyday saying between couples that expresses strong feelings, but on Valentine’s Day, it has to be said in a bigger way. On this universal day for love, & affection, everyone searches for the right ways to impress their loved one. There are a number of romantic Valentine’s Day gifts available in the market today such as flowers, teddy bears, chocolates, jewelry, accessories, elegant showpieces, soft toys, perfumes, personalized gifts and many others. The list is endless though the message and meaning remain the same. It’s only the arrangement that differs. Hampers (gift baskets) Well, guys if you want to wow your lady with a special gift on this special day, you should opt for a special and personalized hamper (gift basket). Most gifts hampers include all kinds of chocolates, known for being a common ingredient for a lovely and sugary wish. Decorative showpieces, cards, key chains and soft toys can also complement the gift hampers. As for you girls, you can gather all the cute little things that your men love and put them all in a hamper. Trust me he will love it! Flowers Can you imagine Valentine’s Day without flowers? Definitely no! If you don’t want the traditional & classic forms of expression, then you can go for the premium arrangements gifts. Roses, lily, orchids of your selection arranged in an exquisite manner by many online florists and gift portals are a great way to do it. Remember a bouquet of red roses is valuable for a lady. So, guys, you can steal her heart with the sweet fragrance and bloom of a rose bouquet. Heart Shaped Jewelry Well, this collection is exclusively for ladies and guys believe me you will win her heart for sure! Women are known for their adoration for trinkets and jewels. Marilyn Monroe wasn’t joking when she sang “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend”. A personalized or heart-shaped jewelry like a pendant will make her dwell in sweet memories that she spent with you. Most stores have different cuts and designs that are made available for this special occasion. My advice for you on this Valentine’s Day is that you don’t have to be all stressed out and worried about what you should bring to your beloved one. A simple customized gift and heartfelt words will melt your sweetheart’s, heart.
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My advice for you on this Valentine’s Day is that you don’t have to be all stressed out and worried about what you should bring to your beloved one. A simple customized gift and heartfelt words will melt your sweetheart’s, heart. Magazine
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Valentine’s Day Gifts Magazine
Many Ideas!
By Dr. Toufic Ajaka
Valentine‘s Day is approaching, and you are looking for gift ideas to offer your darling girlfriend. You should offer one even if your partner tells you that he or she does not care. I will then give you classic gift ideas for men, women, and then gift ideas more original, nice and adapted according to the context.
An invitation to the restaurant for Valentine‘s Day is also a classic although it seems women don’t appreciate it as much nowadays because there are numerous other couples around! If you want to please her and offer her a romantic dinner, you can cook her Valentine‘s Day meal. A rose on the table, candles, and a small meal of dishes she likes.
If she is a woman and tells you she is not expecting anything special that day, know that deep down she wants something, and if you do nothing, she will be deeply disappointed.
So what is the best gift for him?
Not just women love surprises. As a man, I really do not expect anything, but a surprise would always please me. It is always fun, and I advise you not to wait for Valentine‘s Day to make it!
There are gifts that are not adapted to men, although you will always find exceptions. Personally, I have no expectation for Valentine‘s Day. On the other hand, I want to please my girlfriend. But if you want to give a gift to your man for Valentine‘s Day, you could offer him a shirt, a tie or cigars. These are not very original ideas, but they work. If you have more resources, you can offer him something generally masculine like a car, a watch, or maybe a safari trip.
You might think that giving a gift for Valentine‘s Day is useless; that is a misconception because it is the day of lovers, therefore, it is symbolic. Some people think you do not like them if you do not offer gifts on that day. Gifts help the relationships last longer! To choose a Valentine‘s Day gift suitable for the occasion there are some rules that one should follow depending on the situation. If you are in a relationship that started recently or is uncertain, you risk scaring your guy or girlfriend if you offer him/her a gift, especially if it is disproportionate. Love at the beginning of a relationship is a small, fragile thing. If your girlfriend is not yet committed to the relationship, it can scare her to give her a big gift. You have all your time to make beautiful gifts to your girlfriend if your relationship is set to last. The best proof of love is your behavior and being attentive daily. So you have to adapt your gift to the context of your relationship. So what is the best gift for her? Women are unique and different but some gifts are classic. Classic gift ideas for women are jewelry and flowers, including red roses for Valentine‘s Day. Depending on the context of the relationship, naughty lingerie can spice up the couple’s relationship. It may also be the time to bring something new to your couple if things have started to settle down. How about a massage? You could offer one for her or a couple massage in the same room. It is often offered in a Spa, so it is the perfect chance for relaxation.
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Men are not used to receiving gifts for Valentine‘s Day; they are used to offering.
Give a gift suitable for the person receiving it. For men, it is already more difficult because there are no benchmarks. On the other hand, man or woman, we each have tastes, interests, and passions. In this case offer a gift in connection with his passions. A personal gift tailored to the person receiving it will give more pleasure than a generic gift. Some examples include the latest book of his favorite author or a book related to his passion, a drink in a Jazz club, a course of photography, a little puppy… There are a ton of different types of gifts that could please according to the tastes and interests of each. Do not look into complexity; be simple and effective in choosing a suitable gift. If you are not convinced here are other gift ideas for Valentine‘s Day. Offer a personalized gift to your partner. These are generally engraved objects that can be of any type like pendants, a kit to shave, bathrobe, gourmet, etc. This last idea is especially for small budgets or creative people: make a gift that comes from you and that is only for him or her like writing a love letter, a poem, or painting a picture; a unique gift that will touch the heart of your lover!
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Who Provides the Internet to ISPs Magazine
By Edy Hourany
Internet Service Providers provide you with data connection but who provides the Internet to ISPs. Many of you may have had this question in mind! You get the data connection on your smartphones through your mobile service providers and on your Wi-Fi routers through your local Internet Service Provider commonly known as the ISP. But who provides them with the huge gigabytes of Internet so that they can give part of it to you for monthly fees? After surfing the web for so long to get the best answer for this topic, credit goes to Tech Worm for providing us with such accurate description of the situation. First, you should know that the internet isn’t a thing, a place or a service as you might think. It is just a group of computers connected to each other. And these computers are owned by big data companies. There are ISPs who specialize in providing wholesale connectivity between retail ISPs; these are called Tier 1 providers. Here is a simple answer to the question about who provides the Internet to ISP companies. 1. Peering Most of the big ISPs use this method. When ISPs peer, they open their own networks to users of the other ISP. It’s done for free: no ISP pays the other. This is usually done between ISPs that are of more or less equal size, reside in the same region and can easily connect at an Internet exchange or in a data center they both use. 2. IP-transit Most small data providers opt for IP-transit. As it is not possible, nor economically viable, to connect to every ISP in the world, there are thousands of them, IP-transit carriers provide connectivity to the rest of the world that ISPs cannot reach through their peering partners. As IP-transit involves carrying Internet traffic between continents and connecting to many other ISPs, it’s a paid service. The ISP pays for the volume of traffic carried by an IP-transit carrier. So, what Network Tiers are there? The huge networks that provide the Internet to ISPs are known as Tier 1 networks. Although there is no authority that defines tiers of networks participating in the Internet, the most common definition of a Tier 1 network is one that can reach every other network on the Internet without purchasing IP transit or paying settlements. By this definition, a Tier 1 network is a transit-free network that peers with every other Tier-1 network. But not all transit-free networks are Tier 1 networks. It is possible to become transit-free by paying for peering or agreeing to settlements.
Common definitions of Tier 2 and Tier 3 networks: Tier 2 is a network that peers with some networks, but still, purchases IP transit or pays settlements to reach at least some portion of the Internet. Tier 3 is a network that solely purchases transit from other networks to reach the Internet. If you click through to Tier 1 networks from the Internet Backbone page you get to a list of the current Tier 1 networks: AT&T from USA, Cogent Communications from USA, CenturyLink (formerly Qwest and Savvis) from USA, Deutsche Telekom AG from Germany, GTT (formerly Tinet) from USA/Italy, Level 3 Communications from USA, Telecom Italia Sparkle from Italy, Telefonica Global Solutions from Spain, Verizon Business (formerly UUNET) from USA, TeliaSonera International Carrier from Sweden-Finland, NTT Communications from Japan, Tata Communications from India, Orange from France, XO Communications from USA, Zayo Group from USA What is Peering? Peering is when two mid-sized networks connect to each other through a process known as ‘peering’. Most traffic needs to go over at least 2 different top tier networks in order to reach its destination, and the networks are bridged with peering arrangements. The way this usually works is that each party to the agreement will commit to routing x amount of traffic for the other party on their network, and vice-versa. There is usually no money exchanged in these arrangements, unless one side is sending or receiving a lot more data than the other sides. Large companies can also go out and arrange their own peering relationships. For example, Netflix has arranged its own peering and network infrastructure directly with multiple Tier-1 networks so that its traffic is both cheaper and closer to end users on each of the popular US broadband ISP’s. To put all the above mumbo jumbo in simple words, Tier 1 data companies are the internet backbones that connect with each other. Smaller ISPs work with these internet backbones and then sell bandwidth to their users. No one really owns the internet as it comprises millions of servers everywhere. Very small network providers from remote countries buy the Internet from the mid-sized ISPs through Internet gateways and then relay it to their users. MAGAZ INE TEMPL ATE / O C TO B ER 2013 / w w w.your magaz i ne.co m
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I love you, I will never let you die By Father Tony El Khoury
I have always pondered about the real meaning of the word “love”; a term that is ambiguous despite being a focal component of our language, religion, culture and various arts, even the less reputable ones. I never found anything more profound as what Père François Varillon contemplated when he looked into the life of Jesus Christ who said: “I love you, I will not let you die”. Through meditation and enlightenment, he perceived the love Christ had for humanity when He lived and died on the cross so that humankind can live on; He died to give human race a reason to continue. God is love and that is how He appeared to us. He created love and invited us to shape ourselves in that image, forever planting in us the yearning. It is only by following this calling for love can man, already shaped in His image, truly become one with God. Love brings us close to our souls and those of others; it shields us from lust, selfishness, and individualism. Love becomes a constant presence in our lives; an immovable will for sacrifice for His sake and those of others. Pope Benedict XVI described it as: “Heedless of one’s own person, building up into a euphoria of happiness for the sake of the Beloved; searching only the good of the beloved, morphing into altruism and sacrifice; nay, even to the point of seeking it”. That is love, and every variant is an imposter such sexual intimacy and lesser imitations. Real love is a far cry from what is being exhibited on television, movies and glossy fashion magazines. They expose a deformed version, devoid of purity, exclusivity, and intimacy of love and present it as just another commodity that is used up then discarded in pursuit of something new. This so called love migrated from its true divine essence and crowned itself as monopolizing force orchestrating human relations. It has gotten to a point where even the humanistic element was stripped away, and others are perceived as sensory stimulation; we hunger for what the Ancient Greeks called the Eros that craves the pleasure and sensory, constantly trading partners chasing an elusive dream. Real love needs discipline; it needs to be tempered to move beyond a passing pleasure to the ultimate happiness we all yearn for with all our being. The devil lies in the sharp contrast between these two models; an Eros dedicated for the sensual with all the accompanying accessories that try to cast it in a better light, and another tempering the Eros with Agape framing it in the sanctity of marriage to protect it from the degeneration and deviant actions. This Agape love is built on selfless mutual giving of the whole over many years of companionship. In fact, such a pinnacle can only be reached by gradually investing in the relationship and respecting a pact between two souls joined in their earthly journey. This world is chock-full of sex and bereft of love when the latter is what the world desperately needs. Only within the sanctuary of love can sex be an expression of love and succor for the couple. Everything beneath that are illusions and mirages we chase while trying to transcend our earthly vessels that go up and down in value relative to beauty and youth.
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Buying Brand Clothing for Childen By Dr. Randa Saliba Chidiac Brand clothing is articles that bear the logo of recognizable fashion designers. They are not for the benefit of the children that have no notion of what they are wearing; they are statements made by the parents who want to exhibit an image for all to see. Children fuss over clothes only when they restrict their activities. In fact, the simpler and more comfortable the clothes are, the more they like them. It’s hard to justify spending that kind of money on items that children will outgrow in the matter of few weeks or months. Not to mention, children will give little attention to preserving these expensive clothes as they consistently spill things on them and make a mess. It makes little sense to buy expensive clothes that will be discarded immediately. Investing in a sensible wardrobe that can be rotated in an affordable fashion is best for both parents and children. Parents should not feel guilty or made to perform unnecessary sacrifices for such frivolous items. It’s not until later on, as teenagers, that they will start caring about their looks. At that point, it makes sense to buy expensive clothes for those who will appreciate them and take pains to take care of them. It can also be used as a disciplinary measure where teenagers can be made to do some chores or get better grades to earn these clothes. It goes a long way to teaching them the value of money. For the lesson to be more effective, restrict buying such expensive items for special occasions while making use of more comfortable and affordable clothes for the rest of the time. The key is balance. The necessities, such as food and education, should be appreciated instead of taken for granted. The other luxuries should not be lavished indiscriminately and only given as a reward for a job well done or extra achievements. If the parents can afford these clothing, then there is no harm. But going out of their way and making sacrifices to take pampering to the extreme is an exercise in futility. 10
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Changes in Pregnancy Magazine
By Dr. Randa Saliba Chidiac Pregnancy is often described as some magical space in time where the woman is constantly glowing in the aftermath of her expected baby. Perhaps it’s that way for some women, but my pregnancy was very trying. I suffered from morning sickness as well as a myriad of other symptoms such as headaches, excessive drowsiness, nausea, and vomiting. Sometimes it felt as if I was renting space at my gynecologist. I was completely bereft of energy and relied heavily on my husband’s support. My hormones were firing left and right beyond all rational control. The smallest criticism was enough to plunge me into tears of despair, so it is fortunate that my husband knew how to steer clear of the emotional minefield and managed to show nothing by kindness. Drowsiness was my constant companion, and I seemed to fall asleep at the drop of a hat during any given time in the day. My appetite took a trip into a parallel dimension of opposites where my favorite foods made me nauseated. And should I attempt to force myself into eating something, I was likely to get extremely sick. Even smelling certain food was enough to put me over the edge. But perhaps the worst part about pregnancy was the constant worry about the fate of the child in my womb. I wish it was only about having a healthy baby, but I also had concerns about my performance as a parent. I kept fearing that my own flesh and blood might not love me with the same vigor that I do. These fears intensified when I am at an appointment, so having my husband there to quell my fears was the only harbor in the melee of emotions I suffered. Pregnancy can take a huge toll on my mind and body. I needed the assurance and the support of all those around me. Even a small gesture such as cooking dinner or a foot rub was enough to make me irrationally happy. It’s true what they say about raising a child needing a village, but I also believe the expecting mother could use a call from a villager or two.
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How to Say “I Love You” On Valentine’s Day! Magazine
By Carla Al Haddad ‚Love‘ is all that people are talking about lately. What is the reason? Valentine’s Day is getting closer. “Love” has been one of the most talked about emotions because it is a mysterious feeling that no one can explain or understand its reasons. All of us fall short when it comes to understanding love. It is also one of the most complicated emotions known to man. Since we are not able to explain it, we remain confused throughout life regarding this aspect of human emotion. Being able to express one’s feelings to the people who matter the most in our lives is a task which is not easy for everyone. Some of us are bound to be more expressive while others find it difficult to explain their love to the person who needs to know about it the most. In the following, I will give you some instructions on how to express your feelings for your loved one on Valentine’s Day. When to Do It For starters, you should ask yourself one important question: Do I really love that person that I am about to say the three magic words to? ‚I Love You‘ is not a phrase to be taken lightly. So, say it when you know that you really mean it from the bottom of your heart. Right Time and Place Now that you know that what you are feeling for someone is genuine, the next important step is to decide on the time and place. This Valentine’s Day should remain the most special for the one you love if your ‚to-be-Valentine‘ wants to be loved and pampered, or you yourself want the expression to become memorable for life, choose the correct time and place for the proposal. This helps in setting the mood for the occasion. How to Say It Say it with flowers, gifts or chocolates or through written words to add charm to the occasion. Personalized and thoughtfully done Valentine gifts are the best choice when it comes to making this day memorable forever. Be Prepared Don’t be shocked by the answer, and always be prepared for a possible rejection. It is natural to be stressed out and worried about the reaction, but you should always be strong enough to take any answer in their stride. After all, it is better to not keep yourself and the other person guessing. Then whatever the result, there will never be any regrets in life. ‚Better late than never‘, so do it this Valentine’s day. Tell someone that you love them before it is too late or before the whole meaning of it is lost somewhere as time strides on. MAGAZ INE TEMPL ATE / O C TO B ER 2013 / w w w.your magaz i ne.co m
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Does Money Make Happiness? By Dr. Randa Saliba Chidiac A lot of people wonder whether money is the reason for happiness. Some may think that money brings joy while others believe that having too much money may cause problems. To begin with, money motivates most people. We spend more than 8 hours at work in order to gain money. Money can help us to take care of our basic needs and if we do not have money, then our happiness will be seriously limited. Nobody wants to live in poverty; on the contrary, everybody seeks to become rich. in addition, with money, people can lead comfortable lives. Money helps us provide the best education for our children and the best healthcare for our dear ones. Therefore, not having enough money will definitely destroy our peace of mind. However, having more money than we need will not probably make us happier because people are never satisfied with what they have and always try to seek more; that’s the human nature. Sometimes rich people are not satisfied as they want more. That is due to the temptation of money which never makes people content. Those who don’t have money want to have it and those who have it want to have more. Unfortunately, in our pursuit of more assets and material, we often forget to live and we lose our souls. We forget to appreciate the little joys that make our lives worth living. And we also forget that “shrouds have no pockets” which means worldly wealth cannot be kept and used after death. Moreover, having a lot of money may cause problems. Rich people suffer from safety and security problems as they may be an easy target for a thief; that’s why they cannot act or move freely and are always surrounded by guards in constant fear of getting attacked. According to a modern saying, “money is like sea water, the more you drink, the thirstier you become”. Although in most parts of the world, people claim that money can buy happiness, true happiness comes from spiritual awakening. Money hardly has anything to do with it. Democritus once said: “Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold, the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul”. Finally, happiness comes from spiritual wealth, not material wealth. It comes from giving not getting. So, if we try hard to bring happiness to others, we cannot stop it from also coming to us. It’s true that money can help with being happy, but money is neither the only requirement nor a sufficient tool for fulfilling our needs.
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Why You Should Definitely Celebrate Valentine‘s Day! By Dr. Toufic Ajaka I have never enjoyed Valentine’s Day. Everyone seems to be doing the same thing, sitting in the same restaurants and exchanging the same gifts. There is so much pressure to make a random day of the year so special and meaningful. What’s worse is that you can be the best partner all year long, but should you fail to live up to the standards of Valentine’s Day, you are by default a bad one. Somehow, being forced to make such a lavish event out of it has turned me off from the whole idea because it always comes off as pretentious. Never be fooled if a woman says she is not interested in celebrating the infernal day! One of the biggest problems I have faced during relationships is the contrast between what women think and say. It might have taken me a while, but I am firm in my belief that no matter how much she protests otherwise, women always want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, and the bigger the fuss, the more content they are. You might grow comfortable after years in a secure relationship, but never think that spares you the need of making an effort. It makes women feel unappreciated if men stop trying, and they feel they are being taken for granted. Women also want whatever you have planned to be an expression of your love, so they will only drop some hints here and there instead of being vocal about what they really want. Instead of asking her, pay attention to those little clues and you will be able to put together something remarkable. Try to remember that Valentine’s Day is not just about you two. Women are remarkably social, so be assured they will all get together afterward to exchange stories. The girl with the most extravagant celebration will have bragging rights, so make sure you give her a good story to tell. Relationships have been made and destroyed by a single conversation in one of these settings. You can easily call them war councils, and the spoils go to the victor. Should a poor soul get nothing for Valentine’s Day, she will be the target of mockery and disdain. Do her and yourself a favor and make it a memorable day. Whatever fuss you have to put up with is a lesser evil than facing the consequences of ignoring the occasion. MAGAZ INE TEMPL ATE / O C TO B ER 2013 / w w w.your magaz i ne.co m
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Why do Women Wear Red on Valentine’s Day? By Dr. Randa Saliba Chidiac
Red is a color that inspires romance, passion, desire and a strong association with energy, war, danger, power, blood, etc. It is a bold color that burns with intensity. It can even affect us physically by enhancing metabolism, increasing respiration rate and raising blood pressure. It is at the core of our needs and struggles for survival. It represents our appetite for sustenance and sexual contact. It motivates us to take action and grants us the confidence to plow forward. So it stands to say that the more passion and intensity you want in life, the more you have to incorporate the color red. So does that explain why most women wear red on Valentine’s Day? It has been celebrated since the 19th century as an annual holiday. The most famous story of the origin of Valentine’s Day is that St. Valentine, a priest in pre-Christian Roman Empire, was martyred in the 3rd century for daring to marry off Christian against the Empire’s orders. Another story goes back to the 16th century when a bored French queen organized a game for her entertainment. Men were tasked with bringing women chocolate and red roses while the women had to show up decked in all their finery wearing red lipstick and rouge on their cheeks. They then engaged in a game of romance and lust with red forever symbolizing the intensity of the emotions swirling. Nowadays, it’s a chance for lovers to come together and enliven then relationship in an extravagant display. Naturally, the color red is a constant presence in the roses, lips, cheeks and clothes. If you opt to wear red on Valentine’s Day, chances are you are holding a torch for someone special. Women in red are more confident and approachable, not to mention sassy, as it’s very difficult to stay down when adorned in such a vibrant and intense color. So if you still haven’t decided what to wear on Valentine’s Day, don’t hesitate to wear red. It’s not a cliché; it’s a classic.
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Valentine’s Day Survival Guide by Ya 7elween Staff
Valentine’s Day is normally a fun and romantic occasion for you if you’re in a loving relationship, yet it can be an off-putting and frustrating day if you’re single. A day that celebrates couples often challenges singles. The good news is that you can not only endure Valentine’s Day, but actually enjoy it as a single person. The trick is first to put your thinking straight about what being single or in a relationship truly means, and second to adopt a constructive behavior. This simple Valentine’s guide for singles will show you exactly how. 1. Know you’re not alone On Valentine’s Day, it’s common for a single to feel like they’re the only single person out there and everybody else is with their significant other. However, that’s just an illusion, largely created by all the emphasis put on couples on Valentine’s Day through a variety of communication channels: articles, billboards, commercials, gossip, etc. The reality is that there are a lot of single people out there. Being single does not make you an exception. It actually makes you a member of a large segment of the population, which is steadily getting larger. This is something important to bear in mind. 2. Don’t romanticize being in a relationship Another tendency to be on a lookout for is the tendency to feel like you’re worse off than others simply because you’re single. This is what happens when you assume that a relationship per se makes your life better. An idea that’s much closer to the truth is that whether a relationship makes your life better or not depends entirely on the person the relationship is with and on its dynamic. Believe me, there are plenty of people in relationships that make them feel miserable and take away more than they add to their life. It’s in your grasp to have a happy and fulfilling life as a single. All you need to do is recognize the wide range of
options you have to make yourself happy and to employ them. This leads me to my next point. 3. Do something for yourself You may not have a significant other in your life, but you do have yourself. As a single person, Valentine’s Day is a good moment to remind yourself that you are important to you. How? By doing things you enjoy. The last thing you want to do is to stay at home and sulk for being single. Instead, reflect on the things you enjoy the most that don’t entail a relationship and how you can make some of them happen fast. Then, make them happen. Maybe you want to go to a spa, or get a massage, or buy yourself some nice clothes, or watch a movie. Anything that gives you pleasure goes. As a rule of thumb, the more you take care of your needs, the less you feel the necessity for somebody else in your life. You may still seek that person, but without feeling a desperate requirement for them. 4. Mingle with other singles Valentine’s Day is not an all couples day; or at least not anymore. Because there is a plethora of singles who don’t want to be ignored on this day, a growing wave of events and activities for singles on Valentine’s has emerged. More often than not, I’m single on Valentine’s Day. And I can tell you from experience that there is no shortage of single people out on this day, dancing, partying, socializing, drinking and having fun. There are even bars and clubs that have special singles’ nights or parties on Valentine’s Day, urr, Night. So, get in touch with some of your single friends, go out and enjoy yourselves. If you don’t have single friends, this is an excellent moment to make some. For instance, you can go to a singles’ event or something and meet other singles. On this day, they’ll be particularly excited to meet new people. Conclusion The way I see it, whether you’re single or in a couple, Valentine’s Day is a festive occasion and an excellent time to have fun. At the end of they day, it’s not your relationship status that makes the real difference in your life or on this day. Rather, it’s your ability to capitalize on any type of situation and to live with passion. So, whether you’re single or in a relationship, have a happy Valentine’s Day
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Chocolate and Hormones Although high in calories and fat, dark chocolate may actually benefit your health. Chocolate’s effect on hormones can reduce stress and suppress appetite. Antioxidant flavanols found in dark chocolate may also reduce your risk for heart disease, according to the Cleveland Clinic. Stress Hormones In a 2009 study published in the “Journal of Proteome Research,” Swiss researchers found that subjects who consumed 40 g of dark chocolate every day for a two-week period had reduced urinary excretion of stress hormones, including cortisol and catecholamines, indicating reduced production of these hormones in the body. Trending Articles on Traditionally, yoga has been a solo practice. It’s a time of… Gastrointestinal Hormones In a 2010 study published in “Regulatory Peptides,” researchers found that eating dark chocolate and even just smelling dark chocolate had a direct impact on gastrointestinal hormones -- those that influence appetite. Female subjects who ate or smelled dark chocolate showed hormonal signs of appetite suppression. Merely smelling the dark chocolate produced a satiation response in subjects. Sponsored Links Hormone Therapy Restore depleted hormone level A life-changing experience www.cupertinomedicallaser.com Chocolate Cravings Many people believe that hormones cause chocolate cravings, particularly hormonal changes experienced by women before menstruation. Several studies have looked for links between chocolate cravings and the menstrual cycle. A 2004 study published in “Appetite” surveyed
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Spanish and American women and found that American women reported perimenstrual chocolate cravings more often than Spanish women. Both Spanish men and women reported experiencing chocolate cravings after eating and while studying, and both American men and women reported chocolate cravings in the evening.
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The researchers concluded that chocolate cravings have cultural, rather than physiological, bases. A 2009 study published in “Appetite� surveyed pre- and postmenopausal women to determine whether chocolate cravings reduced in proportion to hormonal changes. The survey found a much smaller decrease in chocolate
cravings than a hormonal change would explain, leading them to conclude that female reproductive hormones alone do not cause perimenstrual chocolate craving.
Chocolate and Neurotransmitters Chocolate impacts neurotransmitters as well as hormones, and this impact may be responsible for its psychopharmacologic effects in some people. Chocolate may balance low levels of moodregulating neurotransmitters, including serotonin and dopamine,
according to the “Journal of the American Dietetic Association.�
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How to be
Happy Everyday By Ya 7elween Staff
Many of life‘s difficulties are out of your control. You can’t control the weather, the genes you were born with, diseases that have no cure, or the fact that you are getting older. For the most part, you can’t control the actions of other adults, though you may have influence. And, in the words of the Rolling Stones, you can’t always get what you want. But you can learn to stop any misery you might be inflicting on yourself. I like the way this idea is expressed in “The Four Noble Truths” of Buddhism. In highly over-simplified soundbites, the Four Noble Truths can be summarized as follows: 1. There is a lot of suffering in life. Some unhappiness and misery is inevitable. 2. You may be causing some of your suffering. 3. You can stop causing your own suffering! 4. Once you cease to create your own suffering, you are more likely to live a good life, one in harmony with your deepest values and goals. How might you possibly be harming yourself? While humans make themselves suffer in many ways, here are 10 common sources of self-caused suffering, which I‘ve dubbed „Misery-Makers,“ along with 10 suggestions for stopping: Misery-Maker 1. Inventing and dwelling upon painful inner dramas that have little or no basis in fact. Examples: “There was a fiery crash on the interstate. My wife might have been in that. What would I do if she died?” “The way he reacted to me yesterday must mean that he doesn’t really love me, despite what he says.” “If my boss fires me, I’ll never be able to find another job and will end my life in dire poverty.” Having a vivid imagination is such a wonderful thing—except when it isn’t. Unless you are writing a novel or a screenplay, using your imagination to spin tales that are outrageous, hurtful, or even horrifying can be harmful to your sanity and peace of mind. The stories you tell yourself can take on a life of their own, becoming an unending source of anger, self-pity, anxiety, or just plain misery. How to stop the misery: When your fantasies threaten to ruin your emotional health, neutralize them by murmuring these words: “Just thoughts.” Realizing that your fantasies are not realities will help you separate from them, as if standing to one side. Then, give your mind another job to do, such as to focus on your breathing or to think about a plan for the day. If you are worrying over a problem that actually could arise in the future, make a realistic plan and write it down. Misery-Maker 2. Judging yourself in a harsh
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Examples: “Why do you always say the wrong thing?” “Why can’t you lose weight?” “What’s wrong with you?”
How to Stop the Misery: Notice when you blame yourself. Then ask yourself: “Was I really responsible for what happened?” “Is it really my fault that he didn’t ask me out again?” “Can I really control her drinking?” Remind yourself that you can only really control your own behavior. Take a deep breath and focus in on actions and activities that will improve your life.
No, it’s not your worst enemy saying that; it’s your own critical inner voice. It’s shocking how cruel we can be to ourselves. If you have a critical inner voice that is constantly judging and blaming you, notice it (how could you not?) but don’t believe it. Your self-talk is not the truth—it‘s „just thoughts.“ How to stop the misery: Replace negative self-talk with realistic and positive self-talk. For example, “Whether I lose weight or not, I am a worthwhile person who deserves love.” Practice self-compassion—be kind to yourself by softening your judgment and treating yourself like your own best friend. Misery-Maker 3. Thinking that mistakes, setbacks, and failures doom you for life. Examples: “I must be a dumb person to have made that mistake.” “I guess I’ll never do anything right.” “I’m such a moron!” Self-talk likes this makes you think you have to be perfect instead of the fallible human being that you are—that we all are. How to stop the misery: Instead of putting yourself down for your mistakes and failures, make the conscious decision to grow from them. “Oh, now I see what I need to do in the future.” “I’ll look at this as a challenge rather than as a problem.” This self-talk will help you develop a “growth mindset,” to use the phrase of researcher Carol Dweck. People who can grow from their setbacks are more likely to succeed and to feel better about themselves. Misery-Maker 4. Blaming yourself for things you can’t control. Sometimes it’s easier to blame yourself for a problem than to accept that the situation was never within your control. Children who are victims of abusive parents, for instance, often believe that if only they had done x, y, or z, their family would have been just fine. The hard truth is that there was little, if anything, they could have done. Realizing that you are helpless in a situation can often be more terrifying than the false, but oddly comforting, belief that you have
Misery-Maker 5. Blaming other people and situations for things you CAN control or passively accepting what you COULD change. “She makes me mad.” “Brrr. It’s so cold in here.” “I wish he would understand how much I need some time alone right now.” All these typical situations are within your circle of control, at least partially if not completely. For example, no one can “make you mad.” You can control your inner response to events much of the time. If you are cold, put on a sweater. If you want someone to understand you, speak up. How to Stop the Misery: Change “it” and “you” language to “I” language. For example, speak out like this: “I didn’t like it when you said that. Please stop.” “I’m cold. Mind if I turn up the heat?” “I need some alone time right now.” Acting more assertive is thrilling, no matter how small the issue! Misery-Maker 6. Creating suffering through bad habits and addictions. Smoking. Overdrinking. Taking drugs. Leading a couch-potato life. These bad habits may seem like they relieve stress—and they may indeed relieve stress in the short run—but they are false friends. Eventually, they turn on you and make your life miserable, even cut it short. How to Stop the Misery: Decide to change and make a plan. If your plan doesn’t work, see a therapist or check yourself into a program that can help you quit your self-destructive habit. Misery-Maker 7. Comparing yourself to others. “If only I had her looks!” “If only I had his personality!” Social comparison is an unending source of misery for most of us, because there will always be someone who is more beautiful, funnier, wiser, or richer.
How to Stop the Misery: Instead of comparing your situation to that of others, make your own life as good as possible. Find your own path. Instead of comparing yourself to those who are better off, make a “downward comparison” to those who are suffering more than you are. Things can always be worse. And for the most powerful antidote to social comparison, try this: Gratitude. A practice of gratitude is one of the easiest and most rewarding good habits you can develop. Try the powerful “Three Good Things” exercise, described here. Misery-Maker 8. Not being yourself. Social pressure can warp your mind and your actions. You may find yourself trying to “have fun” in ways that are not really fun. You may present yourself in one way when you actually feel a different way underneath. True, in some situations, like in your work life, you may often need to play a role to get by. If this is the case with you, figure out how best to express who you are in other areas of your life. How to Stop the Misery: Notice what you really enjoy. Notice what makes you feel good about yourself. Notice what seems to be good for your personal growth. Gradually, make choices much more in harmony with your “True Self.” Say “no” to activities and people that drain your self-confidence and energy. Misery-Maker 9. Falling for the belief that you can’t change. “I’m just this way.” “My father was like this too, so I’ve got the genes for smoking.” Self-acceptance is usually a positive thing, but not if you are using it as an excuse to avoid the work of necessary change. Although it does take work, you can decide to change behavioral habits and do it successfully. For example: You can learn to listen instead of interrupting. You can create an exercise program. You can speak up for yourself. Recent research suggests that you can even change aspects of your personality that seem inborn and permanent. A recent review of over 200 studies indicated that therapycould cause personality changes relatively quickly, even in as little as 4-8 weeks. People with emotional instability who were in therapy benefited the most, increasing their ability to handle stressors and reduce inner turmoil.
A Dark Wine So Potent God has given us a dark wine so potent that, drinking it, we leave the two worlds. God has put into the form of hashish a power to deliver the taster from self-consciousness. God has made sleep so that it erases every thought. God made Majnun love Layla so much that just her dog would cause confusion in him. There are thousands of wines that can take over our minds. Don’t think all ecstacies are the same! Jesus was lost in his love for God. His donkey was drunk with barley. Drink from the presence of saints, not from those other jars. Every object, every being, is a jar full of delight. Be a conoisseur, and taste with caution. Any wine will get you high. Judge like a king, and choose the purest, the ones unadulterated with fear, or some urgency about “what’s needed.” Drink the wine that moves you as a camel moves when it’s been untied, and is just ambling about.
The Beautiul Words of Rumi 31
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He Comes
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He comes, a moon whose like the sky ne’er saw, awake or dreaming. Crowned with eternal flame no flood can lay. Lo, from the flagon of thy love, O Lord, my soul is swimming, And ruined all my body’s house of clay! Magazine
When first the Giver of the grape my lonely heart befriended, Wine fired my bosom and my veins filled up; But when his image all min eye possessed, a voice descended: ‘Well done, O sovereign Wine and peerless Cup!’ Love’s mighty arm from roof to base each dark abode is hewing, Where chinks reluctant catch a golden ray. My heart, when Love’s sea of a sudden burst into its viewing, Leaped headlong in, with ‘Find me now who may!’ As, the sun moving, clouds behind him run, 33 All hearts attend thee, O Tabriz’s Sun! MAGAZ INE TEMPL ATE / O C TO B ER 2013 / w w w.your magaz i ne.co m
Maybe your heart is beating wildly or maybe it is broken. Either way, you wish you could say what you feel, but every time you try, you come up short. Welcome to the complicated world of love! Take comfort in knowing that poets and statesmen have struggled with the same question—”How do I write the perfect love letter?” Here are some simple guidelines that can help. Presentation. Use beautiful stationery (a neutral, soft color, such as cream or white) and a flair pen with black or brown ink—no blues, greens or reds! Remember, your Love Letter is being written to someone special. Handwritten letters are best. This is personal—you are not writing a business letter! Ambience. Go to a secluded place and put on soft, romantic music. A quiet room would be nice. Dim the lights. Stimulate a romantic mood. Keepsake. Date your Love Letter (month, day, year). This is a letter that will be treasured and remembered. You can bet that it will be read over and over and safeguarded in a special place. Greeting. Choose an endearing salutation. Don’t be formal. Use your love’s first name. For example: “My dearest Jennifer . . .” or “My darling Matt . . .” Beginning. Start your Love Letter by telling your beloved your reasons for writing. For instance: “I have lain awake many sleepless nights trying to compose words that might adequately describe the feelings of my heart. But every time I have made the attempt, I have failed miserably. Please forgive my poor effort and accept a trite and simple phrase: I love you. I think I can say it no better than that...” Never insult your beloved’s feelings or belittle yourself by saying something like: “I know you probably don’t feel this way,” or “You must think I’m crazy.” If you are timid in your Love Letter, your attempt at conveying heartfelt words will fall flat and might be misunderstood. Body. The body of the Love Letter should include reasons for why you fell in love. Here are some ideas: recall when you fell in love with him/her explain how your life has changed for the better describe how much you miss your love when you’re apart explain that you can’t imagine life without him/her list some of the many things you have in common tell how wonderful and complete he/she makes you feel recall some special moments you’ve shared together mention times you’ve picked him/her out of a crowd list qualities that set him/her apart from everyone else
Writing the Perfect Love Letter
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Avoid being casual, too light-hearted, or openly erotic. A Love Letter is a Magazine letter of respect that coveys deep, difficult-to-express feelings. Maybe your beloved has a favorite author or poet. It will be seen as a compliment if you take the time to quote someone he/she admires. Be sure to give proper credit where it’s due. Don’t forget the Internet is a great place to find that poem or song you are trying to quote! Be real. Your Love Letter should be a carefully crafted work of art, but it also needs to sound sincere. You want your Love Letter to make your beloved fall in love, not fall into laughter. Closing. End your Love Letter with carefully worded prose: “There, I have said it. I can rest now. And as I dream, I will dream of you.” Make your closing upbeat and positive. Valediction. Don’t just end with: “Love, Eric.” Even if you said, “All my love,” it would be better. You become even more romantic by writing something like: “Dream of me, my love...” What you want is a simple, yet heartfelt goodbye: “With undying love,” or “Forever yours.” Remember, you may think this is too sappy, but your loved one will treasure each word. Be prepared to have it quoted to you in years to come. Insert. Include a special extra: petals from a flower, sprinkles of stars, a teabag of your favorite tea ...You get the idea. That little extra effort means you really put some thought (and heart) into this. Neatness counts. Gently fold the Love Letter and place it in a neatly addressed envelope—hopefully, one that matches your stationery. The correct way is to fold a small stationery sheet (or sheets) in half with the text on the inside. Place the letter in the envelope with the crease at the bottom and the salutation facing the back. Hand address the envelope. Remember what your elementary teacher taught you about penmanship—make sure your love is able to read your writing! Add a stamp that looks romantic—the Garden Bouquet stamps are nice—and affix it upside down. It is a custom that means, “I love you.” Drop the letter in the mail. That’s it! Be expressive. Here are some popular words to use in your Love Letter: angel, angelic, lover, giving, alluring, tempting, sensual, sensuality, seeing, tasting, touching, holding, caressing, memories, memorable, darling, gorgeous, absence, velvet, voyage, beautiful, vision, elation, blossoms, happy, kisses, innocent, passion, dreaming, delirious, temptation, complete, desire, content, embrace, rainbow, rose, adoring, stars, privileged, heart. MAGAZ INE TEMPL ATE / O C TO B ER 2013 / w w w.your magaz i ne.co m
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Why Do We Give Roses on Valentine’s Day By Ya 7elween Staff Thinking of purchasing a bouquet of flowers for your sweetheart this Feb. 14? By now you’ve probably noticed a strong link between Cupid and red roses, making this classic bloom the obvious choice — but have you ever wondered why we give roses on Valentine’s Day in the first place? While the flower itself has a long and storied history dating back to the very first rose bush planted in 2,000 B.C., the association between red roses and romance is surprisingly recent. While flowers have had symbolic meanings across cultures for thousands of years, the expressing of sentiments such as love and passion through different varieties of flora was perfected during the Victorian era. This symbolic tradition is called floriography or the “language of flowers” — a not-so-secret code where each type of flower communicated a unique message to the receiver. Even the color and arrangement of the blooms held significance. The interest in floriography was born from strict Victorian etiquette which dictated that flirtations and the open expressing of feelings, such as love, grief, or jealousy, was not proper in polite circles of society. Extensive flower poetry and a number of flower dictionaries were published over the 19th C=century, detailing each flower’s meaning, and how to present, receive, and combine flowers to communicate an intended message. While we no longer have to rely on pointing our tussie-mussies, also known as “talking bouquets,” in different directions to express interest (we’ve got text messages for that!), some Victorian flower etiquette has carried over into the modern age. According to floriography, the red rose is said to be an expression of passionate or true love, hence its association with Valentine’s Day. A pink rose signifies warm affection, while yellow roses are associated with joy, friendship, new beginnings, and, of course, Texas. Valentine’s Day is historically supposed to coincide with the beginning of spring and birds’ mating season, a time when garden roses would start to bloom. However, come mid-February, we are usually still knee-deep in snow, and the majority (about two thirds) of those long-stemmed beauties we find in flower shops and grocery stores are imported from the Columbia and Ecuador. Along with the tradition of giving flowers, we can also thank the Victorians for Valentine’s Day’s commercial success. The Victorians were the first to mass produce elaborate valentines and make the giving of cards common practice. “Papers made especially for Valentine greetings began to be marketed in the 1820s, and their use became fashionable in both Britain and the United States,” explains About Education. “In the 1840s, when postal rates in Britain became standardized, commercially produced Valentine cards began to grow in popularity.” The practice of giving Valentines and small gifts surged in the 1860s, and was even criticized by the The New York Times — so it seems the holiday always has had its detractors. To this day roses remain one of the major symbols of the love holiday. So whether you love or despise roses, just remember to take the thorns off.
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Last Minute V-Day Date Ideas Magazine
By Ya 7elween Staff
If you’re in a long-term relationship, you’ve probably already celebrated a Valentine’s Day or two with your partner by now. But just because you’ve been with your significant other for forever, it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the day of love just as much as you did the first time. If you haven’t already made plans, it’s not too late. You don’t have to make Valentine’s Day a “been there, done that” thing. There are tons of great last-minute date ideas for long-term couples you might be interested in. The great thing about being in a long-term relationship during Valentine’s Day is you’re already in a relationship on Valentine’s Day. I mean, obviously right? But just think of it. You already have each other. There’s none of that last-minute scrambling singles have to do in order to find a date, if they don’t already have one. After all, there is a reason why dating apps like Tinder continue to see spikes in usage on V-day over the years. There’s also none of that added pressure new couples face in order to make sure the date is just the right amount of perfect for where they currently are in their relationship. But you’re already at a place in your relationship where you’re comfortable with each other. So here are a few Valentine’s Day date ideas for you and your long-term partner, no real planning in advance necessary. Take A Cooking Class Caitlin Cooper, a New York-based matchmaker at Three Day Rule suggests taking a cooking class as a last-minute date idea. Places like Sur La Table offer classes for couples year-round. Right now, they have some great Valentine’s Day themed options like an Italian romance to desserts. “They also have some great classes leading up to Valentine’s day if you want to take them in advance together and, instead, stay in for a romantic evening at home. A trip to Tuscany was never so cheap!” Cooper says. Visit A Planetarium “Whoever said that science isn’t sexy has never studied the stars,” Cooper says. Visiting a planetarium like the Hayden Planetarium at the Rose Center for Earth & Space in New York can be both educational and romantic. Some places may even offer up some Valentine’s Day festivities with cocktails. If there aren’t planetariums around you, you can always set a blanket outside and look up at the stars together. If weather permits, of course. MAGAZ INE TEMPL ATE / O C TO B ER 2013 / w w w.your magaz i ne.co m
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Book An In-Home Couples Massage Magazine By now, spas are usually pretty booked for Valentine’s Day. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get a relaxing spa-like experience in your own home. With a company like Zeel, you’ll be able to have the massage technique of your choosing in as little as an hour from the time you book. You can book a massage for your partner as a gift, or you can choose a couple’s massage for the both of you to share the experience together. Right now you can use the code VDAY25 to get $25 off your first massage. Take A Romantic Stroll Outside It’s a great option for something to do after dinner. It can be through a garden or the beach, if you live near it. You can walk, talk, and just be together without any frills. It’s something simple and perfect for couples who’ve been together for a long time. Grab Some Desserts You can totally skip the fancy dinner at a restaurant and go straight for dessert. The Chocolate Bar at Cafe Flueri in Boston, for instance has an all-you-can-eat chocolate buffet for those of you with a sweet tooth. Take A Long Drive Somewhere One of my favorite dates ever was something completely unplanned. I agreed to go out on a date with a guy I had been friends with for some time. Truth be told we really didn’t know what we were going to do so we decided to just wing it. We ended up spending the afternoon just driving along the Pacific Coast Highway just talking, getting to know each other and singing random songs that came on the radio. I wouldn’t suggest this for people just getting to know each other, but it’s great for couples who’ve been together for a while. You can have a destination in mind or not. You can even stop at cool things you see along the way. Overall, it’s an easy way to have an unplanned adventure together. Play Hooky And Just Enjoy The Entire Day Together This year, Valentine’s Day falls on a Tuesday. Life gets busy and sometimes when you’re in an LTR, romance can take a backseat. So instead of waiting for dinner when everyone’s done with work, take the day off and spend it with your partner. Go on a picnic. Have a little staycation. You can even just stay in bed all day — make a day out of it. Whether you decide to stay at home or go out this Valentine’s Day, it’s not about what you have planned for the day. All that really matters is you’re spending some quality time with the one you love most.
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A Red, Red Rose Magazine
By Robert Burns
O my Luve is like a red, red rose That’s newly sprung in June; O my Luve is like the melody That’s sweetly played in tune. So fair art thou, my bonnie lass, So deep in luve am I; And I will luve thee still, my dear, Till a’ the seas gang dry. Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear, And the rocks melt wi’ the sun; I will love thee still, my dear, While the sands o’ life shall run. And fare thee weel, my only luve! And fare thee weel awhile! And I will come again, my luve, Though it were ten thousand mile. MAGAZ INE TEMPL ATE / O C TO B ER 2013 / w w w.your magaz i ne.co m
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