The Yale Record and Davenport College present a Master’s Tea with:
BriTANicK
THE YALE RECORD’S GUIDE TO:
FAMOUS SUPERBOWL MOMENTS 1965: In a play that would soon be outlawed, Joe Namath ties the football to the legs of a passing bird, which flies it to the endzone 1979: Green Bay Packers add Michael Jackson to the lineup exclusively for touchdown dance purposes 1985: In final minutes, opposing quarterbacks pause and realize their differences aren’t so great after all 1988: Mrs. Bartels’ third-grade class from Franklin Roosevelt Elementary School sings the National Anthem; Freddie Beckwith pees his pants, the entire stadium laughs at him, and Stacy Stephens doesn’t like him anymore 1993: Pigeons storm field after bread-intensive halftime show 1997: Two receivers collide in midair and switch personalities 2002: Kurt Warner sidelined after overenthusiastic huddle spank 2007: Coach Lovie Smith takes the Chicago Bears out to pizza because, even though they didn’t win, he knows they tried their very hardest
SUPERBOWL COMMERCIAL BINGO Writers of sketches such as “Academy Award Winning Movie Trailer” and the SXSW-selected short film “Eagles are Turning People Into Horses: The Movie”
4:30 PM, WEDNESDAY JANUARY 30TH, 2013 DAVENPORT COLLEGE COMMON ROOM
Semi-naked Danica Patrick
Dog fetching beer
Someone driving a fast car in an inappropriate location
Baby that talks like your dad
Men standing on a couch and throwing tortilla chips all over the room
Dramatization of the temperature of beer
A movie commercial with the BWAAAA from Inception
Football players eating
Neil Patrick Harris cameo
Charlie Chaplin cameo
Honest discussion of Liberian politics
Someone quickly becomes more attractive than they were at the beginning of the ad
An old person doing something that is typically done by younger people
A child doing something that is typically done by older people
Boobs you think the advertisers wanted you to notice
Funny commercial that you missed because you were in the bathroom
Stay tuned for a new episode of The New Normal, guest starring Tom Brady
Two cast members from Glee having sex
A commercial where Doritos are on fire for some reason??
That one commercial that is only funny to adults
FREE SPACE: Casual misogyny
Questionable Viagra ad
Clint Eastwood talking to an imaginary car
President Obama silently drinking a glass of milk
Preview for Explosions: The Movie
“Did you guys catch that Doritos ad?”
“Look, she’s totally hot and actually a very nice person, okay?”
Experience: Actual other football games “Have these guys even passed referee school?”
SQUINTS MCGEE • A dog
He’s wanted in four states— for excellent playcalling! Also, murder.
Three-time NFL Ref of the Year winner who doesn’t understand how the others got this gig
In this economy, it pays to be flexible.
Catchphrase: “I got it all under control, see?”
MARLON LETHAM •
SKYLER JOHNSON
Catchphrase: “Hey, no, that’s totally normal.”
Previous ruling: Gave the quarterback a red card for using his hands
KEN “THE CAT” CASEY • Wanted man
Tough but fair, she just hopes nobody loses any teeth before picture day.
ALEXANDROS • Displaced Greek PAPAZOGLAKIS soccer referee
Previous rulings: You boys have to share the remote!
Guy whose girlfriend • has a referee fetish
Mother of coaches Jim and JACKIE • John Harbaugh HARBAUGH
REFEREE TRADING CARDS
Previous ruling: Ruffing the kicker There’s no rule that says a dog can’t be a referee!