VALENTINES TO THAT KID NO ONE WANTED TO SEND VALENTINES TO
Dear Billy, You’re okay. David
ly, Bil me to r Dea n’t co orrow me Do ol tom want h c o u sch ess yo ur lun ’s unl teal yo tine y, n e to s ey. al Da n mo appy V na Da H
, Dear Billy Are you the one with the , or brown hair s? the freckle e one th If you’re ckles, with the fre I ate I’m sorry . your eraser Sydney
Dear B Can illy, swit we ch so I c seats a next n sit to Ch I thi ris? n kind k he’s of cu te. Joy
BUDGET FOR A CHEAP DAT E IN NEW HAV EN Suit jacket from Salvation Army Flowers from the Flower Lady Guest swipe into Stiles dining hall
$12 $3 $13
Bribe to convince dining hall worker to let $10
you in before 6:30 p.m. Movie ticket for The Vow
$11
Two-person horse costume so that you can sneak in without buying two tickets $47 One slice of Claire’s cake, since your date doesn’t want any
$5
Another slice of Claire’s cake, because she $5
actually does want some Romantic sonnet from the Poetry Lady
$8
Getting mugged
the rest of your money
The Yale Record • 1
SPECIALS
THE YALE RECORD TV GUIDE • 2
ALTERNATIVES TO SEX WEEK AT YALE True Love Week True Sex Week Sex Minute Things Were Going Great until I Jizzed in My Pants Week It’s Not You, It’s Me, But Actually It’s You Week Don’t Act Like That; I Just Have a Headache Week Blueballs Week How Old Is Too Old? Week How Young Is Too Young? Week Being Comfortable in Your Sexuality, But Also Maybe Experimenting a Little, Maybe With Me? Week Sugar Snap Peas Week
$35.95
One Meat Entree and One Vegetarian Entree Rice, Naan, Dessert, and a Glass of Wine
Valentine's Day Special Dinner for Two
PBS THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS The class tries to understand love by exploring Ralphie’s endocrine system, before realizing that a pubescent boy’s hormones are not something that should be explored on a TV show for ten-year-olds. 7:00 ABC COPULATING WITH THE STARS In the Valentine’s Day premiere of this new show, regular people get the chance to have sex with their favorite celebrities. The celebrities don’t know what they’ve signed up for! 7:30 CBS HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER The children find out they were all adopted. 8:00 NBC FEAR FACTOR Contestants are forced to carve cheesy phrases like “B MINE,” “I LUV U,” and “U & ME” into an assortment of still-beating hearts. 9:00 SHO DEXTER Dexter has a secret admirer! …and kills people. 10:00 ANML MEERKAT MANOR The meerkats pay no attention to the human holiday of Valentine’s Day.
With Student I.D.
4:30
45 Grove Street, New Haven, CT 06511 • Fax: 203-773-3235 • www.sitarindianrestaurant.net
4PM 12AM
FREE DELIVERY - 7 DAYS A WEEK - 203-777-3234 10% Discount on Dinner
February 14, 2012