Cabaret Leadership Speech MAELI Hello! And welcome to the Yale Cabaret’s production of A Voice in the Dark, written by Maggie McCaffery and directed by Mia Walker. This is an audio only experience, so grab a pair of headphones if you have them and make sure you adjust your volume both on your device and on the YouTube Player. I’m Maeli Goren, pronouns she/her, I am a Co-Artistic Director of the Yale Cabaret. NICOLE My name is Nicole Lang, my pronouns are she/her, and I am a Co-Artistic Director of the Yale Cabaret JISUN And I’m Jisun Kim, pronouns she/her, and I am the third Co-Artistic Director of the Yale Cabaret MATTHEW And my name is Matthew Sonnenfeld, my pronouns are he, him and his, and I am the Managing Director of the Yale Cabaret! MAELI Welcome to our virtual basement. We want to take a moment to honor the traditional protectors of the lands where we are virtually based. The state of Connecticut and Yale University occupy the ancestral lands of the Mohegan, Mashantucket Pequot, Eastern Pequot, Schaghticoke, Golden Hill Paugussett, Niantic, and Quinnipiac and other Algonquian speaking peoples. As we honor their stewardship and offer our gratitude, we acknowledge that Yale University, the Yale Cabaret, and those affiliated have benefited from the oppression of these Nations. YouTube, the technology we are using to connect with each other today, is created by a company headquartered in what is now San Bruno, California, the ancestral lands of the Muwekma Ohlone and Rumaytush peoples. MATTHEW We now want to thank some of the lovely folks who have made this production possible. We want to thank our Cabaret Partners: Nina Adams and Moreson Kaplan, Ann Judd and Bennet Pudlin, Santino Blumetti, and Matthew Suttor. We also are thrilled to announce our show sponsor: David Budries. We want to remind you that the best way to experience all the Cabaret has to offer this year is by becoming a Cabaret Member. Spring Memberships are on sale now and make a great holiday gift! Please visit our website: www.yalecabaret.org or email or call the box office for more information.
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NICOLE The virtual playbill for this show is available here on our site, just scroll down. You will also find a transcript for today’s performance below. Finally, some thoughts about safety. In the event of an emergency in your personal zoom box, please proceed to the nearest egress from your place of residence. JISUN Please take a moment now to locate a path of safety to that egress as well as any obstacles that may be present in that path of safety. MATTHEW We hope that in the event of an emergency, once you have left your personal residence, you will be greeted by a firefighter whose dulcet whispers will lure you to safety. MAELI Thank you for joining us live, online, together. Pre-Show Speech: GibiASMR [sound of finger flutters] GIBI Hello everybody. My name is Gibi. Tonight, I’m here to welcome you to A Voice in the Dark, an audio play written by Maggie McCaffery and directed by Mia Walker. In order to best enjoy what you’re about to hear, I recommend putting on some headphones, whether that’s over-the-ear headphones or earbuds—whatever you have is great. I also recommend turning out the lights, maybe closing your eyes. For those of you who have heard my voice before, you’re probably familiar with ASMR, but for those who aren’t, ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. Basically, it’s that tingly sensation you might feel when someone whispers in you ear. Stay tuned after the show for a conversation between myself and the creative team about ASMR and my life as a full-time ASMRtist. You can find me on YouTube or Spotify at GibiASMR or on social media @gibiofficial. I’m so happy you’ve decided to take the time to sit down, relax, and listen to A Voice in the Dark. Enjoy the show. [sound of finger flutters]
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A Voice in the Dark Audio Transcript
By Maggie McCaffery Directed by Mia Walker
A note about this transcript: A Voice in the Dark features several moments of audio without spoken text to build the world of the play. These moments are described with italicized text throughout the transcript. Additionally, as this story features an ASMR-tist, there are many moments in the transcript where it is noted that characters whisper. This whisper sound is often spoken into a microphone which produces a cool, crisp voice. Dashes at the ends of lines are to denote the characters cutting each other off and ellipses signal significant pauses in between lines.
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The sound of water—a splash Then the sound of submergence underwater—a plunge Muted bubbling, gurgling This transforms—slowly—into the sound of rain, gentling tapping on a window Rain rain rain Wet wet wet The sounds of rain continue underneath LAVENDER-ROSE (whispering) Hello… And welcome To my channel… My name Is Lavender R o s e… And tonight I thought it would be nice To just Chat How are you? … … Mmm. I see Well Not to worry Because tonight? Nothing else matters But the s o u n d Ofmyvoice … Can you hear the rain outside? I love the sound of the rain It always Puts me Right To sleep … it’s been raining 4
all day long I guess the earth Was Thirsty And needed A drink … oh speaking of drinks… would you like a cup of tea? The sound of her fingers tapping on a mug LAVENDER Let me make you one I have… C h a m o m i l e? The sound of her squishing a tea bag with her fingers I have C i n n a m o n? Tea bag sounds And I have S e n c h a a a a a a a a… Tea bag sounds Which would you prefer? … … Perfect. The sound of pouring water from a tea pot into the mug There you go Careful It’s a little hot You may want to wait for it to cool down a bit … 5
in the meantime how about— The sound of thunder—really loud and really close Oh wow—did you hear that? The storm is getting pretty crazy out there But Not to worry Because You’re safe and warm inside with me And nothing can— Another huge crash of thunder from outside A loud crack of lightning A buzz, zap—the sound of the electricity cutting out LAVENDER Fuck The sound of a door opening Seth enters SETH Hi. LAVENDER Hey SETH The power’s out LAVENDER Yeah I can see that. Thunder SETH What should we uh—do? LAVENDER Did you check the circuit breaker thing? In the living room?
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SETH Oh—yeah—I’ll go uh—I’ll be right back LAVENDER K Footsteps Door SETH (yelling from the living room) What switch is it?? LAVENDER (yelling back) I don’t know—just—try all of them Maybe the faint sound of the switches being flipped in the other room? SETH (yelling) Nothing’s happening Lavender exhales Footsteps Door Seth re-enters SETH I tried all the switches but— A crash SETH Oh fuck— LAVENDER Careful! Jesus— SETH Why are there so many—what is that? LAVENDER 7
It’s a ring light—I was in the middle of recording a video SETH Here let me— Fumbling with the equipment LAVENDER Nono stop—don’t touch anything— SETH Let me just— LAVENDER Seth stop— SETH It’s so fucking dark in here LAVENDER Turn on your flashlight on your phone He does LAVENDER Can you not shine that like directly on my face? SETH Shit sorry Fumbling with the equipment SETH Did I break it? LAVENDER The ring light? SETH The—yeah LAVENDER No it’s fine
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Rain Thunder Rain SETH So. Uh— LAVENDER It’s weird seeing you in here SETH Why? LAVENDER You never come in here SETH I mean— LAVENDER I’ve seen you in this room maybe one time? And that was like when we moved in. That’s one time in six months of living here. SETH I don’t know—it just feels like—maybe I’m not allowed to or whatever LAVENDER Allowed to? SETH I don’t know—it’s your space—it’s your—like—thing LAVENDER You’re allowed to come in here, dude—I’m not cooking meth—I make YouTube videos SETH No I know. It’s just— I don’t know LAVENDER What? SETH Nothing—I don’t know. 9
Beat Rain LAVENDER Well. Welcome to my lair! Thunder LAVENDER (laughing) Woah— SETH Should we like—light some candles or something? LAVENDER I mean— SETH Do we even have candles? LAVENDER I have a box of them in here somewhere SETH Why would you have candles in here? LAVENDER I use them in my videos— SETH Oh LAVENDER It should be—check that box there—on the bottom Fumbling, shuffling, movement SETH So many boxes—what do you keep in these? The sound of movement, boxes, shifting 10
LAVENDER Oh you know—babies’ blood, the ashes of my enemies— Light thunder rumble Movement of boxes—shuffling SETH Can you hold the flashlight while I look? LAVENDER Yeah Beat. It’s really just props—sound equipment—stuff like that. SETH Woah! What the fuck!! LAVENDER What?? SETH This is just a box of hair! LAVENDER Those are my wigs SETH Why do you have so many??? LAVENDER I make a lot of videos—check the box next to it—that one SETH Do you wear a different wig for every video?? There’s gotta be like—seventy wigs in here LAVENDER Can you not touch them please? He shifts boxes—opens one
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SETH Ah-HA! Candle city, baby! LAVENDER Here She hands him a matchbox SETH I’m so bad at lighting matches Do you have a regular lighter? LAVENDER No Rain Thunder SETH I always break them LAVENDER That’s because you probably push too hard SETH Gimme She hands him the matchbox He strikes it—it snaps SETH Fuck—see?? LAVENDER You’re pressing down on it too much—just swipe it across SETH That’s what I’m doing— He strikes another—it snaps SETH Ahh what the fuuuuuck
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LAVENDER Dude you’re like—flexing every muscles in your arm—just swipe it SETH I’m not flexing every— LAVENDER I am looking at your arm and you are completely—I can see your veins/ SETH I know for a fact that I am not flexing my—why don’t you do it/ LAVENDER Seth—just—take a deep breath— SETH I’m fine—this match is too small—it’s ridiculous—these are matches for children LAVENDER I don’t think they make matches for children SETH Whatever dude He tries another It snaps SETH GodDAMNIT! Lavender laughs SETH It’s not funny! LAVENDER (laughing) Gimme it He hands her the matches and the candle She strikes it—the sound of the flame She lights the candle
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SETH How did you do that?? LAVENDER It’s really not that hard SETH (imitating her) “It’s really not that hard” LAVENDER I use them in my videos They make a nice sound— She strikes another She blows it out Rain Rain Big ole’ thunder crash LAVENDER Wow Rain Rain Rain SETH It’s kind of nice in here actually—with the rain Cozy LAVENDER Yeah Beat LAVENDER I mean that’s kinda what I do in here—with my videos Make people feel cozy Beat Seth starts to get up 14
LAVENDER Where’re you going? SETH Uhh I don’t know—different room? LAVENDER Nooo—I like having you in here SETH We have a whole couch—like a really comfy couch in the living room LAVENDER But this room is cozy—you just said SETH I don’t really wanna sit on the floor—it hurts my back Beat LAVENDER Hold on— Lavender gets up Noise of her walking out the room, shuffling in the other room The sound of her dragging large couch pillows and a blanket SETH What are you doing? LAVENDER I’m making a pillow palette SETH What is that? LAVENDER My sister and I used to put all the couch pillows on the floor and we called it a “pillow palette” for some reason Shuffling, movement, dragging of pillows etc LAVENDER 15
Voila! Lavender gets onto the pillows on the floor LAVENDER (from the floor) Come on in! The water’s fine! Sound of Seth getting down to floor with her, snuggling up super close on the pillows SETH This is nice LAVENDER See? SETH What did you guys do on the pillow palette? LAVENDER Sometimes we pretended it was a raft. In the ocean SETH Mm Beat LAVENDER Oo we should play a game? SETH What game? LAVENDER Twenty questions SETH Ok Beat SETH Oh I have one. It’s really good.
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LAVENDER Is it Lebron James? SETH No LAVENDER You always pick Lebron James SETH It’s not Lebron James LAVENDER Is it Duane the Rock Johnson? SETH Dude! LAVENDER You always pick the same people! I’m just making sure— SETH No this is a really good one LAVENDER Is it a man? SETH No LAVENDER Is it a woman? SETH Yes LAVENDER Is she alive? SETH Y-yes…? LAVENDER Yes or no 17
SETH I think she’s alive…? LAVENDER Dude SETH Ok yes she’s alive—she’s alive LAVENDER Is she an athlete? SETH No LAVENDER Is sheeee….. Is she an actor? SETH Yes LAVENDER Ok Uuuuummmmm Is she mostly in movies? SETH Yes LAVENDER Is sheeee… I give up SETH What??? Come onnn LAVENDER Just tell me who it is SETH You have to guess—
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LAVENDER I don’t want to guess there are too many actresses SETH Ok so when you can’t guess it immediately— LAVENDER Seth! Please! Just tell me /who it is! SETH When you’re not “winning” you want to stop the game—INTERESTING LAVENDER Seth! Nooo I’m just— SETH Fine. It was Anne Hathaway LAVENDER WHAT?!! SETH Yep LAVENDER I didn’t even know you knew who she was! SETH Of COURSE I know who Anne Hathaway is LAVENDER I’m shocked SETH Well. You shouldn’t be. Beat LAVENDER Wait— You thought Anne Hathaway might be dead???? SETH 19
What? LAVENDER When I asked if the person was dead or alive you said “I think she’s alive?” SETH I forgot! LAVENDER She’s like—in her late thirties I think SETH People die young—tragically LAVENDER Yeah but—don’t you think if Anne Hathaway died— SETH Dude I don’t know! Maybe there was a car accident or something— LAVENDER If Anne Hathaway died in a car/ accident— SETH And also like—she hasn’t been in a movie in a while so— LAVENDER She’s a mom! She has a life—she’s busy! SETH What are you—her best friend?? LAVENDER No—I just— SETH And also with COVID and/ stuff LAVENDER Right SETH I don’t know—a lot of people are—
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LAVENDER Yeah Rain Rain Thunder Rain SETH Ohhh I just thought of a really good one for twenty questions LAVENDER I don’t really wanna play that game anymore SETH This is a really good one I SWEAR LAVENDER Dude— SETH Please. Rain. Rain Rain Rain LAVENDER Is it a man? SETH Yes LAVENDER Is he alive? SETH (spooky) …~no~ … LAVENDER Ooookay. Was he an athlete?
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SETH Nope LAVENDER David Bowie? SETH No LAVENDER Prince? SETH No LAVENDER Gene— SETH You never even asked if it was a famous person or not She exhales LAVENDER Was he famous? SETH No. LAVENDER Ok so did we know him personally? SETH Well—I mean— LAVENDER Seth— SETH See—I don’t know how to answer that because like—you didn’t know him personally—but like— LAVENDER How am I supposed to guess the person if I don’t know who he is???? 22
SETH Well—you can guess! It’s a guessing game! LAVENDER So I’m just supposed to guess random dudes that you’ve known who have died??? SETH I mean—yeah. LAVENDER But—I don’t— She sighs Ok. Soooooo…was he a friend of yours? He thinks for a beat SETH I would say so, yes. LAVENDER What does that mean? SETH He was my friend, yes. She thinks for a beat LAVENDER I don’t—who of your friends has died? SETH Obviously I can’t answer that LAVENDER Was it someone from your childhood? He thinks SETH I knew him in my childhood, yes
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LAVENDER Ooookay? Uuuuuuuum… Seth this is literally impossible for me to— SETH Do you give up? LAVENDER I mean—there’s no way for me to know who it is—so—yeah—I give up. SETH It was my grandpa LAVENDER What??? You said he was your childhood friend!! SETH I was friends with my grandpa! He was my friend! Probably my first friend! LAVENDER But primarily though he was your grandpa! You can’t answer “yes” when— SETH I can’t be friends with my grandpa???? LAVENDER Of course you can be friends with your grandpa—but when I asked you if this person was your friend— SETH You could have asked “was he also your family member?” LAVENDER Ok well I didn’t think of that Rain Rain Rain Rain SETH That was a good one though, right? LAVENDER 24
Yeah. Actually. It was. Rain Thunder LAVENDER When did he die? SETH A couple years ago LAVENDER How did he— SETH Old age LAVENDER Ah. All my grandparents are dead. Thunder SETH That’s them, dude LAVENDER Heyyy Grandma Thunder They laugh Rain Rain Rain LAVENDER We should tell ghost stories. Do you know any? SETH No. LAVENDER 25
Me neither. Beat SETH Hey what’s that? Over there? LAVENDER What? SETH Behind you LAVENDER (she turns around) I don’t— (turning back to see Seth) Oh my god. Please take that wig off. SETH (whispering—trying to imitate her) Rooooooosebud LAVENDER Huh? SETH I’m you! ~ Welcome to my channel. My name is Rooooooooosebuuuud. ~ LAVENDER Really dude? SETH What? Isn’t that— LAVENDER Lavender Rose is the name of my channel SETH 26
Oh—no I knew that— LAVENDER Yeah SETH I did know that LAVENDER Mhm
Beat
LAVENDER Hm. SETH What? LAVENDER I don’t know. SETH What?? LAVENDER I’m just a little— I don’t know. SETH Please say it. You have to say what you’re thinking. This is the pillow palette of truth. LAVENDER Ok. She exhales LAVENDER I’ve just been thinking like… 27
How come there are people in Australia I’ve never met before—like total strangers—who’ve seen every single one of my videos—and my boyfriend who I live with can’t even remember the name of my YouTube channel… SETH I mean—I’ve seen some LAVENDER Videos? SETH Yeah like. I’ve seen—I don’t know. LAVENDER What? SETH There was—I saw this one where—you were pretending to be a school nurse? LAVENDER Ok. … What did you—uh—think? SETH Um I thought it was a little uh LAVENDER Pillow palette of truth SETH I don’t know I thought it was a little—confusing? I guess? LAVENDER Confusing? SETH I just—I didn’t really understand how being checked for lice could be relaxing LAVENDER It’s um. It’s hair-play. SETH 28
What? LAVENDER Pretending to play with people’s hair? It’s a thing. SETH Ok. Beat LAVENDER And you know—it’s not actually my “lair” You can come in here—there’s no dead bodies Thunder crash SETH I mean it doesn’t exactly seem like an open door policy to be honest LAVENDER What do you mean? SETH You come in here—in the middle of the night— LAVENDER I can’t record during the day because of noise— SETH Right but it’s a little bit—I don’t know—secretive. It feels like this secret situation/ that happens at night that you don’t ever explain LAVENDER Situation? Well—it’s hard for me to explain when you say things like— OK so I’m just gonna say this because— SETH Pillow palette of truth— LAVENDER Yeah—ok—pillow palette of truth— When you joke to your friends about your girlfriend being a “cam girl” that really hurts my feelings/
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SETH I’m sorry I— LAVENDER No I work really hard on my videos/ SETH I know that— LAVENDER We don’t talk about it—how could you know?? Thunder thunder thunder SETH I just sometimes—I wonder if maybe what you do could be taken the wrong way LAVENDER Like a sex thing SETH I mean—yeah! There’s a lot of fucked up people on the internet! Fucked up dudes on the internet! Thunder thunder thunder thunder LAVENDER Yes I am WELL aware/ SETH And people make jokes— LAVENDER Oh I know that SETH It just seems if-y LAVENDER If-y? SETH Yeah. If-y
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LAVENDER It’s not porn, man! SETH Right but—there’s a vibe LAVENDER A vibe??? SETH I don’t know! LAVENDER Dude most of my subscribers are people with insomnia. Or Anxiety SETH Ok/ LAVENDER Like obviously I know about perverts online—I’m not an idiot—probably a good amount of my subscribers are dudes who like to whack it while I whisper/ Seth clears his throat LAVENDER But most people are just lonely or depressed or feel like they have no one to talk to. Like ok so I didn’t tell you this—obviously—but last night—I got a message from a kid in Seattle who told me he was going to kill himself SETH Jesus LAVENDER Yeah—He said he feels like no one at school likes him and his parents suck and the world is on fire. But then he discovered my channel and he felt like he finally found someone who cared about him and was there for him SETH Wow LAVENDER Yeah. I mean I told him—you know—I’m not a mental health professional, but I’m really glad that he reached out and I referred him to resources and stuff like that—and um—yeah.
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SETH Damn LAVENDER So—you know—people can make jokes and laugh at me and make fun of me—and say that my job isn’t a real job— SETH I didn’t say it wasn’t— LAVENDER I know that, but I’m just saying there’s so much fucked up shit out of there. And I’m trying to like—provide a service, you know? Yes, porn is also a service, I guess. But I’m trying to— What I do is— OK yes I wear wigs and I whisper and I sometimes use props—these are the facts—but I’m trying to help people—help them fall asleep, help them feels less alone. And honestly? If some people get turned on by my videos? Whoops! I’m not gonna judge them. I have no interest in shaming anyone for what makes them hard. I mean—it’s not porn—but like—you wanna watch my channel and rub one out? The door’s open. I mean—I’m fucking woman. Everything I post online, at one point or another, will probably be sexualized by someone. Someone’s probably jerking off right now to that picture of lasagna I posted on Instagram two weeks ago. People are fucking weird! I mean—it’s not like you’ve never masturbated to some weird ass shit before/ SETH Well I don’t jerk off to people whispering— LAVENDER Yeah but like—oh come on—you have a thing SETH What? What thing? LAVENDER The video game woman—with the boobs? What’s her name? SETH I don’t— LAVENDER World of witchcraft/ SETH I don’t play World of Warcraft
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LAVENDER But it’s like that—what’s it/ SETH League of Legends LAVENDER Yes! The woman from League of Legends! With the boobs. Elverson—El—Elsinore—Elverrrrs— Everlane— SETH Evelynn. LAVENDER Evelynn!! SETH What about her? LAVENDER You told me you jerked off to her one time SETH Ok? LAVENDER I’m just saying. That’s like. Some people like whispering and some people like videogame characters! SETH I don’t—you’re not a video game character! LAVENDER Wow I had no idea/ SETH I don’t feel comfortable with random people jerking off to you online! LAVENDER Then you shouldn’t date a YouTuber, babe! Thunder Rain Rain 33
Rain SETH (trying) What were you uh—what were you recording before the power went out? LAVENDER It was a pretty simple one. Finger flutters—personal attention— SETH Finger what? LAVENDER This She does it SETH How do you do that— He tries LAVENDER You just your move fingers really fast—like this— She finger flutters SETH That’s so crazy looking LAVENDER Some ASMRtists can do it even faster than me SETH Don’t your hands cramp? LAVENDER Not really Beat You know, a lot of ASMR is like—hand stuff, actually—/ SETH 34
Hand stuff?? LAVENDER OK—I’m mean like—there’s a lot of visual triggers having to do with hands—a lot of peoples’ ASMR is triggered from repetitive hand movements—like up and down and side to side—up close hand movements—tracing things—following the movement of my pointer finger kind of like an eye exam. I actually did a video recently that was— You don’t want to hear about this SETH (A lie) Nono—I do LAVENDER You’re like physically cringing SETH I’m not. Beat. LAVENDER Ok so I did this video—I actually think it was one of my best ones in a while—I was really proud of it. I wanted to do a video that was purely hand movements—like—not even showing my face or anything. So I kind of like choreographed this whole thing with my hands. Moving them suuuuuper slowly—sort of like waves—curling my fingers and uncurling them and swirling around my wrists and stuff. And when I watched it back—I thought that my hands kind of looked like jelly fish? So I decided to—I guess—run with that. And I added these ocean sounds in the background—like waves and stuff. And then I tinted the whole video this blue-ish, greenish, purple-ish color so it looked like it was filmed under water. And it had this cool effect where my hands stopped looking like human hands and looked like these weird little jelly fish thingys dancing in the water. SETH Huh. Sounds...cool LAVENDER Yep.
Rain Rain 35
Rain Rain Rain SETH I just thought of a ghost story LAVENDER Shouldn’t we call the landlord or something? SETH Why? LAVENDER Or the power company? It just feels like the power’s been out for a while— SETH It’ll come back You don’t wanna hear my ghost story? LAVENDER I’m hungry SETH What do you want? LAVENDER Chef Boyardee. SETH Ohhhh fuuuuuuuck. Do we have any? LAVENDER Probably not SETH Wanna check? LAVENDER Can you? Sounds of Seth getting up off the floor Footsteps
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SETH (shouting from the kitchen) All I see is chickpeas! The flicker of the candle The rain is dying down now Lavender exhales The sounds of Seth rummaging in the kitchen The trickle of rain Then The sound of Lavender humming She lightly hums the tune of the old sea shanty, “Blow the Man Down” Very subtly, the sound of the trickling rain starts to sound like something a little closer to the sound of waves in the ocean, lapping up against the side of large wooden ship This might just be happening in Lavender’s head Or maybe she doesn’t notice it Or maybe it’s not happening at all Then the sound of Seth rummaging in the kitchen, very subtly, starts to sound like the creaking of a wooden ship, rocking to and fro on the sea The sound of wind, faintly, in the distance Lavender hums Creaking Waves Wind Then Is that... Whispering? It is inaudible, very quiet, and possibly not human She stops humming LAVENDER 37
Seth, stop Creak Rock Whisper LAVENDER …Seth…? Whispering gets little louder—maybe a little closer Then ~CRUNCH~ The soundscape and the inaudible whispering are both abruptly cut off by Seth standing in the doorway, loudly eating a bag of chips
SETH What’s up Crinkle of the bag of chips LAVENDER Was that you? Crunch SETH Huh? LAVENDER I thought I heard you—whispering SETH Nah But I found Doritos!! Crunch Munchmunchmunch LAVENDER 38
Can I have one? SETH Yeah I brought them for us Crinkle of the bag Crunch Munchmunchmunch Crunch Munchmunchmunch LAVENDER (mouth half-full of Doritos) You’re not fucking with me? Crunch SETH (Dorito mouth) Uhhh— LAVENDER The whispering? SETH Neighbors? LAVENDER No. You can’t hear the neighbors from this room—that’s why I record in here SETH Huh. Crunch LAVENDER I can’t believe you are still wearing that wig SETH I like it I feel pretty She laughs 39
Crunch Munchmunchmunch LAVENDER Can you come here for sec? SETH Uh oh LAVENDER Stop SETH Am I turning you on in this wig? LAVENDER Seth— SETH Uh ohhhhhhhh Sound of Seth moving towards her LAVENDER Careful—the candle SETH She likes my luscious—wait— What is that? LAVENDER What? SETH What are you holding? LAVENDER Nothing—scissors—can you just/ come sit right— SETH No. Nonono/nonono LAVENDER I just wanna—the wig needs a trim—I’m not gonna cut your actual hair I swear 40
SETH Yeaaaa I don’t— LAVENDER Seth please just let me trim it SETH Can I take it off/ first LAVENDER No don’t take it off—it’s easier for me to cut it if you keep it on Flickering candle SETH You SWEAR you’re not gonna touch my actual hair LAVENDER Yes. I swear. I would never do that. I just wanna trim the wig. Flickering candle Beat SETH Fine. Shuffling, moving of bodies and rearranging in space, crinkling of the chips bag LAVENDER Can you come a little closer? Shifting LAVENDER Perfect She exhales OK. Let’s seeeeeee Snip 41
SETH This is so freaky LAVENDER Just hold still Snip SETH It feels like my actual hair LAVENDER It’s not—I promise Snip SETH I know. But it feels like it Sssssnip SETH How much are you taking off? LAVENDER Just trimming the ends I want it to look a little cleaner Snip Snip Ssssssnip SETH (munching on some more Doritos) Wouldn’t it be so crazy if it like—grew back? Snip SETH (Dorito mouth) Like tomorrow morning you take the wig out and it’s long again? Snip 42
Munch munch munch Snip SETH Wait. LAVENDER What? SETH Is this…….real hair? LAVENDER Like human hair? SETH Yeah— LAVENDER Mhm! SETH Wait… Really??? LAVENDER Yep. Snip This wig is actually really special SETH …because it’s…human…? LAVENDER It’s was my grandmother’s Snip SETH This was your grandmother’s wig? 43
Snip LAVENDER No. Snip This was my grandmother’s hair. SETH WOAH WHAT THE FUCK!?!!? LAVENDER I’m KIDDING!!! Relax!!! It’s synthetic—it’s like—plastic or something—plastic fibers—I’m totally kidding!! Seth. Come back Please I’m not done SETH This isn’t your grandma’s hair? LAVENDER No, dude, I bought that at like—Party City or something. I swear. It’s synthetic. Come back—please—I wanna finish Seth. I would NEVER wear a wig made from my dead grandma’s hair. That’s disgusting. Beat SETH I’m taking this shit off LAVENDER It’s not my grandma’s hair! SETH I know that! It’s itchy LAVENDER Wait can I please just finish it? I just wanna trim this little bit. 44
Please Shuffling—he puts the wig back on and moves back to her Snip Snip Snip LAVENDER Perfect. OK now I’m just gonna brush it— SETH Are you serious— LAVENDER Pleeeease He does Brush Brush Brush SETH This is kind of nice actually LAVENDER Mhm Brush Brush Brush She hums LAVENDER I feel like you’re my daughter right now Brushing Humming
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SETH I feel so relaxed Brushing Humming The brushing maybe starts to sound just a tiny bit like the ocean again—barely, though In the distance, is that a seagull? She hums
Then The same whispering from before Inaudible Faint Possibly not human? The soundscape abruptly cuts out LAVENDER OK. What the fuck— SETH Nooo don’t stop— LAVENDER Dude. Did you not hear that??? If you’re fucking with me—it’s really not funny SETH What are you talking about?? I was basically asleep just now LAVENDER I heard— Wait a second The sound of her getting up off the ground SETH What are you doing? LAVENDER 46
I think something—I thought I heard whispering coming from here. I think maybe my phone is playing something— SETH You’re positive you didn’t just hear the neighbors? LAVENDER I told you—you can’t hear the neighbors from in here— SETH What was it? LAVENDER I heard whispering—it sounded like—it wasn’t really words SETH Air conditioner? LAVENDER The power’s off. Beat. SETH Wait I feel you’re fucking with me LAVENDER Why would I do that? SETH Grandma’s wig??? “ooOOOoooo Grandma’s ghost is here!! ooOOOOooo watch out, Seth! You better take off her hair— LAVENDER That was a joke! I really did hear something though I’m not lying I swear on the pillow palette of truth SETH Was it your phone? LAVENDER 47
It’s dead. Thunder thunder LAVENDER I’m scared can you go check the other rooms? SETH Why do I have to— … Ok He gets up Footsteps Beat Beat Beat Loud banging/crash from the kitchen SETH (yelling from another room) Ah what the fuck!! LAVENDER WHAT?? Nothing LAVENDER SETH????? SETH Oh LAVENDER What is it???
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SETH It’s just Louie LAVENDER Oh SETH he like—leapt from on top of the fridge and knocked over the cereal boxes LAVENDER He likes to perch up there sometimes Beat SETH (Calling out to the cat) Louuuuieeee … Loooouuuuuuiieeeeeee LAVENDER He’s a cat, Seth—he’s not gonna come SETH He comes when I call him … Looouuiieeeeeee—here boy! … The sounds of Seth moving throughout the apartment looking for Louie The flickering of the candle Lavender hums the same tune as before—‘Blow the Man Down’ She hums The candle flickers Then The sound of someone whistling along with Lavender’s humming, in the distance
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She doesn’t notice at first—continues humming But the whistling gets closer, a little louder maybe She stops The whistling stops LAVENDER Seth? Beat Beat Beat She hums The whistle returns She stops Whistling stops again LAVENDER Hello…? Beat Seth comes back in SETH Look who I found!! LAVENDER (startled) Ah! Jesus! SETH (laughing) what? LAVENDER 50
You scared me SETH Oh. Sorry. Beat Look it’s Louie!! LAVENDER Hiiiiii Louieeeee! Lemme hold him SETH (handing Louie the cat to her) wanna go see mommy now, Louie? LAVENDER Hiiiii babyyyy Maybe a small “mew” from Louie She pets him He begins to purr SETH How come he never does that when I pet him? LAVENDER He likes me better SETH Not true LAVENDER Isn’t that right, Louie? You love me waaaayyy better—right, little Louie boy?? Purring SETH Hey—Louie—don’t listen to her—she’s brainwashing you
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LAVENDER Pay no attention to him, Louie. (whispering) Allllllllll that matters Is the sound Of my voice SETH Stop doing ASMR to our cat LAVENDER He loves it Right, Louie? You love ASMR (whispering) you are the best cat in the whoooooooooole world ‌ there is no cat who is better than you purring and there might be bigger cats out there cats who are more famous or more influential purring the pink pantherfor example or tony the tiger but you you are thecoolest cat around purring
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Beat Is that…snoring…?? Yep. LAVENDER Seth? Snore She exhales Purring Snoring LAVENDER (whispering) Hey Louie Look how funny Seth looks when he sleeps … Louie—do you understand me when I talk to you? Or is it just gibberish? Purr purr Snore snore LAVENDER (speaking softly—rambling—to Louie—or to no one) I wish I could hear the way sound to you It’s so weird because My job is to talk—er—whisper—with the intention of making people fall asleep So it doesn’t really matter what I say Like nobody listens to the actual words most of the time Or they do for about five or ten minutes and then eventually they fall asleep Like you can hear me, Louie (I think) But you have no idea what I’m saying It’s kinda like that I mean you’re a cat But still… Sometimes— (she chuckles) 53
Sometimes when I’m making a video after I’ve been rambling for a while I always think: What if I screamed right now? Like in the middle of the video—at the top of my lungs I could really fuck someone up— They get all cozy in bed, turn off all the lights off, put on their little eye mask or whatever And then riiiiiiiiight as their about to drift off— (a quiet, fake-whisper scream) “Ahhhhhhhhhh!!” (she laughs) … … … I have so much power actually When I think about it People have no idea But like I could brain wash millions of people if I really wanted to I could whisper crazy shit to people as they’re falling asleep and they would have no idea Because people’s brains are super malleable before they fall asleep When you’re tired your brain is just like— (she makes fart noise) Defenseless It stops gripping and holding onto things That’s why before we fall asleep we have all these crazy thoughts Because all the reins are off—our brains are too tired to try to be “normal” Because being “normal” takes effort And with ASMR—because it’s so relaxing—people’s brains are basically… Mush … And I could manipulate that I could start whispering crazy shit—twenty, thirty minutes into the videos— I could whisper shit like: “An alien was sent from the planet Glorp to assassinate Abraham Lincoln” “Aliens killed Lincoln” “Aliensaliensaliensaliens…LincolnlincolnlincolnLincoln…” And then all those people who fell asleep listening to my video will wake up the next day with this weird feeling—like something’s off—but they’re not sure what But something in their brain feels kinda different And then one day Someone will mention President Lincoln and for some reason this image of an alien will pop into their head And they’ll have no idea why 54
(she laughs) … Seth snores LAVENDER Watch this, Louie She shifts so that she’s closer to Seth, who is still very much fast asleep She whispers to him LAVENDER Heyyy seth Seth guess what … you’re on the Truman Show … this is all fake this isn’t really your apartment this is a set for a large scale television show You’re the star of a TV show called… … Seth Knows Best … But the title is ironic Because you don’t Nope Seth doesn’t know best In fact Seth? Doesn’t know…anything There is an entire crew of writers and directors controlling your every move I’m not actually your girlfriend I’m an actor Even Louie is an actor … none of this actually exists snore That’s my super power, Louie I can say whatever I want— I can whisper whatever I want 55
And no one actually listens Beat … seth? snore
LAVENDER Seth Can I tell you something? … I feel like I don’t exist … I feel like I’m translucent or something … Like a— … Whenever I say something to you or try to tell you something I feel like you can’t hear me Not that you’re not listening But You literally can’t hear me Like I’m underwater Like my voice is Unable to communicate meaning Like I’m just making sounds When I talk it’s just noise not words It’s Meaningless Imperceptible … … seth? … do I exist? … can you hear me? 56
… can you hear me? A voice whispers: “Yes” Lavender screams Seth bolts up—maybe knocking something over SETH AH!! WHAT?!! WHAT’S GOING ON LAVENDER (freaking out) I heard something—a voice—I heard it—it was right here SETH What—slow down—what’s happening LAVENDER I heard a voice—it was right here—like—right in my ear—I swear I heard it—I know I’m not going crazy—I heard a voice SETH OK—just—calm down—maybe it was—from your phone? Or the computer? LAVENDER No. My phone is dead. There’s no Wifi. There’s— It was. Here. Like. In this room. SETH What did—did it say anything or? LAVENDER I was talking to Louie and then I was talking to you and— SETH You were talking to me? LAVENDER Y—well—I mean not really—I was just—
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SETH I was asleep LAVENDER No I know you were asleep—but I was just—I don’t know! I don’t know! I knew you were asleep but I was talking to you because I was—bored—I guess—or—I don’t know—it doesn’t matter— but I—I heard—I asked you a question and— SETH Why would you ask me a question if you knew I was asleep? LAVENDER I don’t—WHY DOES IT MATTER—I’m telling you I heard a VOICE—a fucking VOICE—in this room—right here—and you’re more concerned about the fact that I was talking to you while you were sleeping??? SETH Well I mean—It’s a little weird LAVENDER It’s not that—CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE OFF THAT FUCKING WIG??? He does LAVENDER Thank you. I asked you a question and I heard a voice—that wasn’t you—answer it SETH What was the question? LAVENDER Why does it matter? SETH You asked me a question—why can’t I know what it was? LAVENDER (a lie) I don’t remember it SETH You don’t remember it?
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LAVENDER No because it really doesn’t matter—what matters is that I heard a voice— SETH Ok. So. You’re telling me…wait—what are you hiding? Why won’t you tell me— LAVENDER I told you I don’t remember! SETH Were you—like—what—putting some weird—ASMR curse/ on me?? LAVENDER /oh my godddddd SETH Like—like—some hex? Were you—holy shit—were you recording me while I was sleeping???? LAVENDER First of all—I would never film you without your consent—and second—WHY ARE YOU SO FREAKED OUT BY—I WAS JUST RAMBLING, OK?! I was basically talking to myself— SETH And you heard a voice. How do you know it wasn’t in your head? LAVENDER Because it wasn’t!! I know it wasn’t!! I heard it—it was right here SETH What did it say? LAVENDER “Yes” SETH Yes? LAVENDER Yep SETH That’s it? LAVENDER 59
Yes. I mean—yes. It just said: “yes” That’s it. SETH So. It was a yes or no question— LAVENDER Oh my GODDDD it doesn’t matter/ what the question— SETH Of COURSE it matters—why did you even ASK me a question if you knew I wasn’t going to respond?? I think it’s really weird that you won’t tell me what you were saying to me while I was sleeping! LAVENDER I don’t understand why this is suddenly the Salem fucking witch trials—I wasn’t “hexing” you, Seth—that is absurd—is that what you think I do??? Is that what you think ASMR is??? Hexing people in their sleep??? Putting CURSES on people?? SETH Well I don’t know!! I don’t know what it is!! You never say anything and—I mean—you—you shut the door—you turn out the lights—it’s like—it’s like what are you hiding?? I feel like I live with a ghost or something—like you go in here and I don’t know what the fuck— LAVENDER A ghost???? SETH I DON’T KNOW! IT’S CREEPY! IT CREEPS ME OUT! IT’S FUCKING WEIRD, OK?! IT’S REALLY WEIRD ALL OF IT. The whispering and the hands and the—it’s weird—and it makes me really uncomfortable.
A pause. The sound of rain.
LAVENDER I asked if you could hear me. That was the question. Beat
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SETH I was sleeping/ LAVENDER I know that— SETH Obviously I couldn’t LAVENDER I know. SETH I mean. I heard you when you screamed/ LAVENDER I was scared—it freaked me out—it was—I’m still freaked out Beat SETH Maybe it was just your brain answering the question for you—filling in the empty space. LAVENDER I don’t know SETH Well. I know—for a fact—that what you heard was in your head. LAVENDER (to herself) Yep “Seth knows best” SETH What? LAVENDER Nothing SETH What else could it be? There’s literally no way that a person could have been hiding in here this whole time—like—listening to everything— LAVENDER 61
I don’t know if it was a person SETH So you think you heard a ghost? LAVENDER I mean.
Far away thunder rumble Beat
LAVENDER You’re afraid of me. SETH What? LAVENDER You are. SETH No. LAVENDER Really?? SETH I’m not. LAVENDER Yeah? SETH (very tense) I’m not. LAVENDER K. Rain Rain 62
Rain Rain Rain SETH JESUS CHRIST IT IS SO FUCKING HOT IN HERE—WHEN THE FUCK IS THE POWER COMING BACK Beat LAVENDER My subscribers are gonna think I’m dead. SETH What? LAVENDER I won’t be able to upload a video if the power doesn’t come back on. They’re gonna think I’m dead. Again SETH …again? LAVENDER I didn’t tell you this when it happened—because—well—yeah… But um When we went to New Mexico last year for my sister’s wedding—I didn’t put up any videos for a whole week. And there were all these posts on Reddit speculating about whether or not I had died. Or vanished. Mysteriously. There was this one post about how maybe I’d fled the country Which sounds kinda nice actually? Just. Leaving SETH What do you mean? LAVENDER I don’t know. Sometimes Sometimes I wish I lived on a boat. I feel like that’d be cool. I could sail around the world and dock wherever I want Drifting SETH You’ve thought about this? 63
LAVENDER No. I mean. Sort of Beat SETH (quietly) I like our house LAVENDER I like our house too Beat I’m not gonna sail away I don’t even know how to sail a boat Beat. SETH My grandpa lived on a boat. LAVENDER (trying to make a joke) You mean your best friend?? SETH (that joke was not funny) Different grandpa. LAVENDER Oh SETH He was kind of a bad dude apparently. I didn’t see him a lot. LAVENDER Did you ever go on his boat? SETH No. We weren’t allowed to. LAVENDER 64
That’s weird/ SETH My mom didn’t let us. She called it “Grandpa’s Booze Cruise.” He didn’t actually go anywhere on the boat though. He just like. Lived in it. He was a fisherman—when he was younger. Like—a commercial fisherman on those huge boats. My mom told me, when she was a kid, he’d be gone for like—months. And he’d always come back with all kinds of stuff from everywhere he’d been. She had this um—I remember— she had this necklace that she would wear sometimes. I think it was from him. LAVENDER What did it look like? SETH It had a mermaid on it. She said my grandpa was obsessed with mermaids and sirens and all that shit—like he actually believed in them. LAVENDER Huh. Is he still alive? SETH I’m pretty sure—yeah—just—ridin’ it out on his boat. Livin’ the dream… Rain Flicker SETH My mom said he would tell her these stories— All the dudes on the ships—because they were out at sea for so long—they would tell each other stories to entertain themselves so they wouldn’t go crazy And my mom told me this story he told her when she was kid— That was actually the story I thought of. Earlier. LAVENDER The ghost story? SETH It’s not really a ghost story—but I mean—yeah. LAVENDER What is it? 65
SETH You really wanna hear it right now? LAVENDER Yeah. Beat. SETH Ok So
The sound of wind—super faint A soft creaking—like a boat at sea
SETH He was on this huge boat Somewhere in the world In the middle of the ocean And it was pretty late at night The rest of the crew had already gone to bed But my grandpa couldn’t sleep So he got out of bed and went to walk around on the deck of the ship The sound of waves, gentle Wind Creaking Rocking SETH And he’s just walking around You know—passing the time— The wind and the waves and the creaking and rocking continues throughout SETH And all the sudden He hears this— Whistling
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The whistling from before—distant—to the tune of “Blow the Man Down” Does Seth hear it? Does Lavender? Maybe it’s in their heads? SETH He listens to it for a little bit—thinking it’s maybe another guy on the boat Someone else who can’t sleep And then Because he thinks it’s one of the other dudes He starts to whistle along The whistling continues Seth also softly whistles SETH And it sort of becomes this Call and response thing Where My grandpa whistles— Seth whistles SETH And then the other person whistles back the whistling from before responds SETH And they’re both just going back and forth and back and forth whistling to each other And after while my grandpa is getting suuuper tired Like—bone tired—where your whole body feels like—lead So he starts to leave the deck to go back to bed But he can’t Like He’s so tired that he literally can’t even move his feet So he lays down right there On the deck And as he’s lying there On the deck the other person is still whistling Whistle whistle whistle SETH 67
But at this point he’s too tired to whistle along So he just listens Whistle whistle Creak rock creak rock Wind waves Whistle whistle Creak creak rock rock Whistle whistle whistle SETH And then All the sudden The sound of a huge splash SETH He’s woken up by this huuuuge splash of water And he springs up—screaming—because he’s startled—and also because he thinks maybe they’ve hit a storm and he needs to get off the deck before he’s thrown overboard But then He realizes The sun is out He looks around And his crew is standing around him laughing They’re all holding these buckets And then he looks down at himself And he realizes he’s covered in fish guts— LAVENDER Ew/ SETH And one of them steps forward and is like “that’s whatcha get for getting too drunk and falling asleep on the deck” so my grandpa hoses himself off goes back to his cabin to change and comes back to start hauling in the nets or whatever and that night the same thing happens he can’t sleep so he goes back to the deck 68
but this time he doesn’t hear the whistle immediately so he decides to start it Seth whistles SETH And after a little bit The other person joins in again The whistling from before SETH And they do the same thing Back and forth and back and forth And once again He gets suuuuuuuper tired So so so tired But he’s like “nononono—I am NOT gonna fall asleep on the deck again and wake up in fish blood” so he stops whistling and calls out to the other dude: “Night!” but there’s no response and he’s like that’s weird but whatever he starts to make his way back to his cabin but then he hears the whistling again whistle whistle SETH he stops he turns around and he calls out—again—“goodnight!” but the whistling gets even louder it sounds like it’s right in his ear The whistling gets closer—louder—perhaps starts to sound a little…strange—a little less…human SETH 69
And once again He’s so tired He can’t move his feet But he reeeaalllyyyy doesn’t wanna fall asleep there so he’s prying his legs up—trying to move himself—but he can’t It’s like his whole body is made of stone And eventually he gives up And lets himself collapse on the deck again Splash! LAVENDER Nooooo! SETH Bam. Fish guts So That night—when the whole crew is at dinner—sitting around the table My grandpa is like “Ok…I have to know…” so in the middle of dinner everyone’s just chilling he whistles the same tune from the last two nights hoping that whoever’s been whistling on the deck with him will respond revealing himself but nothing so he whistles again and now everyone at the table is like “Uhhh dude what are you doing? Can you please not whistle right now—that’s super annoying” and my grandpa finally just straight up asks them: “Which one of you mother fuckers has been whistling with me on the deck at night?!” But everyone just looks at him like he’s crazy so on the third night my grandpa is just like ok this is ridiculous I’m gonna find out who this mother fucker is So He goes up on the deck And he waits Nothing He whistles 70
Nothing He waits and waits and waits Nothing He stays up all night on the deck waiting and whistling and nothing happens And he does this for the next several nights Waiting on the deck Listening Nothing Wind Creak Rock Waves SETH When my mom told me that story she said something at the end of it like: “And THAT’S why you should never drink alcohol because when you drink alcohol you wake up covered in fish guts” But One of the only times I went to see my grandpa— Because I wasn’t allowed to go on his boat—we were in this little seafood shack by the marina where it was docked— And I asked him about that story I asked him if he ever found out who was whistling And he told me that years later he realized What he heard wasn’t whistling It was a siren That’s why he wasn’t able to get up off the deck Because it was a siren seducing him—forcing him to fall asleep so that she could drag his body into the sea Beat LAVENDER But. He just fell asleep on the deck. He never woke up in the ocean— SETH He thinks while he was sleeping the siren pulled him into the water and—I guess—did stuff to him underwater—and then put him back on the deck so he wouldn’t know what happened LAVENDER 71
Did stuff? SETH I don’t know LAVENDER Like what? SETH I have no idea. He didn’t say. A pause Seth thinks LAVENDER Are you OK? SETH Yeah. Yeah I’m fine. I just. I mean I don’t really know him—but—I hope he’s OK. With like. Everything going on and stuff. LAVENDER Does he have anyone to check on him? In the boat? SETH I don’t know. … … … The rain is very gentle now, very soft. The flicker of the candle
LAVENDER Are you sad? SETH A little
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LAVENDER I’m sorry SETH It’s ok. Beat LAVENDER I bet he’s not alone I bet there’s a mermaid And she sings to him … … I was really close with my mom’s mom before she died I called her llama And when I was little I remember she used to trace lines on my arm with her finger—like this— (she does it to Seth) Up and down SETH That feels nice LAVENDER And she would sing while she did it Or sometimes she would whisper things I think that’s why I like ASMR so much Because it reminds me of her The feeling I get when I listen to it makes me feel like she’s here Like she’s with me Tracing my arm Beat
LAVENDER (whispered) Hello SETH (also whispered) Hi
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LAVENDER (whispered) You don’t have to respond SETH (whisper) OK LAVENDER Hello And welcome to my channel SETH Wait— LAVENDER Just go with it … My name is Lavender Rose And Today I just want to talk to you
Sometimes I feel like I live a double life I’ve got this secret self Who’s not really a secret—I mean she’s actually very public But it’s hard not to feel like everything you’re saying is a secret when you’re whispering all the time Maybe that’s why I don’t talk about it It feels kind of private Even though it’s really not The sound of the whisper returns Everything is so loud all the time It’s constant noise everywhere And not just out in the world But it’s also in our heads It can get so loud And I feel like we just sort of Drown it all out with more noise, you know? And it piles up and piles up 74
Until I don’t know I think If we stopped trying to drown everything out If we just listened to what’s actually happening If we just paid attention We might be able to hear something Sort of Different The whisper gets closer, louder—it continues throughout SETH Wait what is that? Do you hear— LAVENDER Shhhh Just listen The whisper whispers, closer and closer, definitely not human LAVENDER Something’s about to happen The whisper grows and grows, envelopes, distorts, surrounds LAVENDER Keep listening Waves Wind picking up Whispers SETH What—How are you doing that? LAVENDER Just listen The whispering is everywhere now And so is the ocean The wind whips Suddenly a big, big wave—it should sound like a larger version of the splash that happened in Seth’s story earlier—crashing on the deck of a ship 75
LAVENDER Open your eyes The sound of the ocean Seagulls Wind Waves SETH (he has to speak louder to compete with the sounds of the ocean as if they are actually on the ship) Oh my God. How did we— This is— Maybe he laughs SETH This is amazing Waves Wind They are fully on a ship in the middle of an ocean The whistling returns, soaring over the sounds LAVENDER Do you hear that? SETH Y—yeah Is that— It whistles LAVENDER Are you gonna respond? He does They whistle back and forth The wind picks up
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They have to compete with the sounds of their surroundings as they talk to each other on the deck of the ship LAVENDER Seth— SETH Wait what’s happening? LAVENDER There’s a wave coming SETH What do we do? LAVENDER Just—hang on We have to go through it Wind waves whisper (which is now less of a whisper and more of a tornado)—growing, growing— louder, louder, louder, closer, closer, closer LAVENDER It’s coming Hang on The wind really picks up Seagulls screeching The creaking of the ship turns to loud heavy groans— The whistling of the wind intensifies The sounds of the storm envelope them—layers of sound—violent wind and waves, the ship, the gulls—storm sounds mix with the distorted sounds of the room—the flickering candle turning to a wildfire, heartbeats, breath becomes something else—all of it grows, builds It crescendos to something like a huge crack A lightning strike A shipwreck The sound of something old and wooden, sturdy and sound—cracking open—bursting Crash Bang End Nothing Then 77
The sounds of the room—the candle flickers—gentle rain The sound of a nose-whistle, someone sleeping Slowly, slowly, it transforms into the whistle from before LAVENDER (she sings, softly) Come all ye young fellows that follow the sea to me weigh hey blow the man down pray pay attention and listen to me give me some time to… The final bit of the tune is finished by the whistle The flicker of the candle A breath The sound of someone blowing out the candle
End of play
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Post-Show Interview: GibiASMR and Maggie McCaffery GIBI First of all, hello everybody. My name is Gibi. MAGGIE I forgot—I didn’t even— GIBI That’s okay! I just, the intro, man. It’s just so basic. My name is Gibi. Hey. MAGGIE GibiASMR is the queen of ASMR. GIBI Oh, no! I’m the court jester, I like to say. MAGGIE [laughs] I love that. I also feel like a court jester too, to be honest with you. GIBI Mmhmm. MAGGIE My first question for you is when and how and why did you start doing this? GIBI Great question. I actually started listening to ASMR when I was in high school because I had the worst trouble sleeping. So, I would watch anything—makeup tutorials, whatever—on YouTube at night until I just fully passed out because I would have so much anxiety around going to bed. And I found myself kind of navigating towards certain videos that made me feel very relaxed and I realized later that these videos—although they weren’t ASMR videos—were giving me ASMR. So, one night I was watching massage videos, almost like tutorials, and they were pretty relaxing and in the comment section of that, it was the term ASMR. I ended up looking that up on Wikipedia. I was so dumbfounded because I was like I feel this. I never knew how to even explain it to myself, let alone wonder if other people felt the same way. It’s like this tingling, ultra-relaxation, etcetera. And when I was in college, I majored in film, so I was very comfortable behind the camera, in front of the camera. I watched so much YouTube. I always loved YouTube ever since it came out in like 2006. And the summer before my senior year, I decided that I was going to take my passion for the ASMR community. So, in June of 2016, I started making ASMR videos based on all the ones I loved watching every single night to help me fall asleep. And, since that day I’ve
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literally never stopped posting and it just sort of blew up from there. It’s been a wild ride [laughs]. MAGGIE You know what I’m really curious about? This was actually kind of like the seed or one of the many seeds of why I wrote this play was the literal, actual, physical process of making a video— from conception all the way down to clicking post. How does that work—coming up with the idea and shooting it? Could you walk me through the process of making a video from start to finish? GIBI Mmhmm. For me, it’s a lot of organization. I think the planning by far takes the longest time in terms of you know, how long does it take to make an ASMR video. I try to shoot three videos a week so that they can be posted in two weeks. Everybody has their own different process, but I have my own filming room in my house which is bins and bins of props and my camera is constantly set up. I’m on my computer all the time. I literally never leave my house. It’s just like, it’s literally become my life. It’s very interesting. It totally depends on the video content. MAGGIE I’m curious how you deal with--in the shooting--sound? I don’t know if you live in a place where there’s a lot of helicopters. I personally, like—so when we were recording this damn audio play, we had to do it remotely obviously because of COVID and so it required—I mean, it’s so intense! GIBI It’s a pain. I actually just bought a house and I specifically had the room that I film in soundproofed and that was huge. I lived in Evanston. I lived in Chicago and I had frat boy neighbors— it was the worst. You know, I would either wait until 3am to film. If it was too windy, I couldn’t film. If you’re filming in the kitchen, you gotta unplug the fridge. It’s so much. You’re absolutely right. Nowadays it’s very quiet. I actually chose where I live because it’s quiet. MAGGIE Whether you’re doing a specific role play or you’re just sort of tip tapping away and just kind of talking as Gibi, do you have like a specific person in mind that you’re thinking of, that you’re talking to? Kind of like in acting where you’re like this is who I’m talking to and this how I want to make them feel or is it more like general, like are you thinking of a specific audience when you talk to the camera? GIBI I actually interact with my community members a lot, so when I am filming a video, I do feel like I’m talking to them as a whole because I’ve read so many comments, had so many conversations with them—you know, we are always interacting across social media, so it does feel like I’m talking to a lot of people at once, but it’s almost like this amalgamation of a bunch of them that I know. It’s very interesting. I’m very aware when I’m talking to the camera that 80
it’s going to be consumed by somebody, personally, 1-on-1, so I try to keep that in mind. I also sometimes think about—my mom watches them all the time [laughs], so if I’m like doing something particularly weird, I’m like oh my mom is going to watch this. MAGGIE Does that hinder you or do you feel like kind of like eh [shrugs shoulders]? Like you think I’m just going to keep doing this weird thing or do you feel like-GIBI I feel a little bit censored sometimes, because I also know that a lot of little kids watch me to go to sleep, so I always am keeping that in mind when I’m filming, as well. When I’m live streaming on Twitch or I’m on other parts of the internet, it’s very much like not family-friendly, it’s more just totally uncensored me. But, when I’m doing ASMR, I feel very aware about who my audience could be. MAGGIE Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. Do you have a favorite video that you’ve ever made? Or like—I don’t know, that’s a hard question cause you’ve made so many. Maybe there’s like a top three or one that you particularly love? GIBI That is so hard. There’s a couple of—I really like when I can pull off a role play of something that I really love that has already existed. So there was like this game called Life is Strange and I ended up doing a role play on that that I just love how it turned out. We did like special effects that recreated how the video game felt and that was really fun. The interesting thing is it’s actually the fact that you’re never done kind of. You’re never—I mean I was talking to my husband the other day and I was like since I started this channel, I’ve never been like “alright [clap], I’ve done my work.” That’s never come out of my mouth in four years, I think. It’s constant and because you’re almost like—everybody on the internet is constantly making so much good content, constant, constant. Your peers, your friends are all like these amazing, talented, wonderful people putting up dozens and dozens of videos and ideas and things a day. And so like, you’re only one person, but for some reason, it sometimes feels like you have to keep up with everybody else, even though everyone else is just one person. MAGGIE I think that like—I have an idea of what the answer might be but I’m just really curious to hear you talk about this— GIBI Sure. MAGGIE
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and we can just like discuss. When, what you’re doing—what do you see is the product? Like what is the, I guess, thing that you are selling as an ASMRtist? Like what is the service that you provide? GIBI Mmhmm. Comfort. Like a very comfortable distraction. I think that’s what a lot of entertainment is anyway. So, stress relief, sleep aid, and just pure entertainment for me. I like to do a lot of the like more, like I said, the role plays and stuff. They’re just supposed to be entertaining and relaxing at the same time, so for me, I just want people to feel good, just feel either nice through the ASMR tingles or just through being able to be distracted by something that’s not super in your face, it’s just something a little different. MAGGIE Yeah. I feel like there’s something also to be said about—there’s a nostalgic quality to it, I feel. Like I’m not sure if you agree, but there’s something when I’m watching ASMR or experiencing it, I feel like I’m brought back to being a kid because our first experience of the things like—you know, our friends giving each other tingles at sleepovers with the crack an egg, you know and you know, like my mom scratching my back or something like that. It’s almost like—the product is almost like nostalgia and intimacy. GIBI I can totally see that and it’s just like—there’s a big theory about that’s what triggers ASMR is nostalgia. MAGGIE Oh yeah? GIBI Mmhmm and I can definitely see that. It’s like you’re very safe. You’re taken care of. MAGGIE What do you think are like the benefits, I guess, of this? GIBI A lot of people really are interested in therapeutic benefits of ASMR. I’ve gotten plenty of comments about people who either say they’ve brought it to their therapist and their therapist was like, oh this is really good for you or their therapist suggested it to them and it’s just like a non-medicated alternative to just try. The good thing about ASMR is that it—I mean I hesitate to say no side effects, but like there’s no side effects—you’re just watching a relaxing video almost like a different form of meditation maybe if meditation doesn’t sound that good to you or things like that. So a lot of people are interested in the therapeutic benefits of that—of ASMR. I like it a lot for sleep, anxiety, but it really could be for anything. I have a lot of comments from people with autism who say they use it to practice eye contact. And so just like the uses of ASMR are very vast. I’ve heard a lot. 82
MAGGIE Yeah. Yeah. And I’m excited because I think that slowly but surely the stigma is dissolving. GIBI Mmm I agree. It’s gotten a lot better. MAGGIE What are your thoughts on that? GIBI It used to be very embarrassing. I actually only started talking about ASMR because I was an actual creator and I was like I can’t be embarrassed of my own work, like I gotta be an advocate for it. So you know, my parents’ friends would be like what are you doing? And I’m like hey have you ever heard of ASMR and they’re obviously like no, so then I would explain it. But nowadays, people are like what do you do? And I’m like do you know ASMR and they’re like yeah. I’m like woo finally, but that—it’s come very far, I think it’s just become more of a viral, household name which is nice. And a lot of people thought it was a trend and it’s just not going away, so they’re realizing that. MAGGIE Where do you see the future of ASMR? GIBI I think everything just gets bigger and when it does, it’s nice because there’s more options. You know, a lot of people resist change cause they like how it was and you know like, this isn’t what I used to watch in ASMR like five years ago and the good thing is and what I think people don’t realize is that you still have access to everything that you used to watch and used to love and now there’s more. So like way back in the day, it was weird for someone to even show their face in an ASMR video. It was always like cut off here [she motions below the neck] and their hands and everything, so the first time someone showed their face people were like, you’re ruining ASMR, this is not what it’s about and they freaked out, you know. And every single time something new happens, I think people panic collectively because they don’t like change. So, I don’t really know what’s going to happen next. And I hope it’s, on the other end, I hope they start like teaching about it to like kids, because it is something that a lot of small kids consume cause they watch a lot of YouTube, they watch a lot of—it’s on Instagram and everything, as well. Like talking about ASMR and meditating and learning how to relax and manage anxieties would be nice. MAGGIE Okay. My last thing—I just, I, because I’m such a fan and I admire what you do so much, I really would love to know what you see for yourself in the next five-ten years? Like ideal, Gibi’s
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dream, what do we want for our career and where are we going, grand future, shoot for the moon [flutters fingers]. That was my ASMR there. GIBI I liked it. That was lovely. It’s hard to imagine that. I think a lot of people—I’ve been asked that a lot, you know whether it’s from my dad when I first started, they were like okay what’s next? What’s big? What are you moving on to? And it’s hard to know on the internet space what’s going to be popular in the future because I am just one person, you know. I can only make so much content. I would be absolutely ecstatic if people were still watching my content in 5-10 years. So honestly, I would be so happy if I could just keep doing that cause I feel like a lot of it, you know, you can’t stop it from ending if people don’t want to watch anymore. So I’ve always said, I’ll keep posting as long as you guys keep watching.
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