Gratitude

“Iremember carrying a little metal pail, I think I was about 5 or maybe 6, and I went to this department store that was just rebuilt after being destroyed during the war. I had my pride of course so I told the butcher in the grocery department, I would like some fish and chicken heads for my cat. Then I brought them home to my mother so she could make soup for us.” These are the memories of a very courageous, determined Lady, Vivianne Knebel, that I had the opportunity to interview recently. I have met only one real Lady in my life, and now I think I have met another. It is funny that both these women have over-come some hardships in life to rise above it all and become beautiful, accomplished, classy, Ladies. Yes, I said classy I know it isn‘t politically correct but class is something you are born with, you can‘t learn it, or buy it, you either got it or you don‘t.

I can only imagine seeing a scrawny little imp of a child with cropped hair swinging her little pail full of fish and chicken heads, her bounty for the day. This little waif, born in 1943, a product of post-war Nazi Germany, was the second illegitimate child born to a proud, strong woman, but above all a survivor. Marija Pavic was young, beautiful, and full of life - a unique quality in wartime Nazi Germany. In times of war every relationship may be your last, so you give of yourself freely, and Marija wore her heart on her sleeve like so many other young German girls.

By 1943, and the birth of her second child, Marija vowed to protect both her daughters from falling bombs, crumbling buildings and hunger - the ever present threat. She struck deals in the black market and sewed brasseries to survive.

As the years passed and the war came to an end, life for Marija and her two young daughters did not change that much. The bombs may have stopped, but again they were often cold and hungry. It fell on little Vivianne, barely six years old, to provide scraps from the market, so her mother could make soup for the family. As for keeping the family warm, Vivianne would collect the fish crates to use in the stove to keep them warm.

Vivianne was excited to begin school and to excel in her studies, as she was accustomed to pleasing her mother. However, this was not the case, and it was difficult for Vivianne to grasp the information; she just needed more time to assimilate the idea. This was post-war Berlin, there were no excuses made, you learned the information, or you were not promoted, it was that simple. There was no summer school or extra help, so Vivianne was humiliated and doomed to repeat the first grade, and condemned to her mother as dumb.

There seemed to be a pattern forming that Vivianne was not accustomed to, and she felt life changing even at her young age. That little girl with her silver pail, so confident, so proud, began to disappear and being held back to repeat the first grade added to this heavy feeling. Vivianne began to lose her confidence and her self-esteem began to waiver.

As the years passed the Pavic family survived, however doing without was a constant reminder of how hard life was with each passing year. When Vivianne was 7 years old, her mother was reunited with an old school friend, who had just spent 5 years in a Siberian prison camp. His return to Berlin was fortunate for Marija and her two daughters as well as for him. He reconnected with a beautiful, warm, loving woman with a passion for life, something he admired. He was a tailor by trade and began making clothes for the family, clothes that fit and kept them warm. One day when the girls returned from school, their mother sat them down to tell them he was going to be their new father. The girls welcomed him, as going to bed with a full stomach and wearing warm clothes was something they became accustomed.

Vivianne began to call him Papa almost immediately, while her big sister was a bit more reserved.

As Berlin started to rebuild, so did Vivianne‘s hopes of a happy family, the kind of family she read about in school. Her dreams of a happy family began to shatter as her mother and new Papa would have loud verbal fights. Hiding in the next room

By Carol Heath

Photos courtesy of Vivianne Knebel

with a pillow over her head did not drown out the loud voices full of abusive sounding words. Vivianne watched her mother lose some of her love for life- she begged her mother to leave, a full stomach and warm clothes were not worth her mother‘s unhappiness. Marija told her children it was just too hard to survive, she was tired and didn‘t want them to be hungry or cold anymore. The loud fights continued, sometimes turning into physical altercations, but again her mother would not leave him.

When Vivianne turned 13, she began to recognize that people would say her older sister was beautiful with her fully developed body and pleasing personality. However, once again these thoughts did nothing to help her self-esteem; mercifully there was a big change about to happen. One afternoon Marija sat her girls down and told them that she was going to marry the man they called Papa. The girls begged her to reconsider, reminding her of the constant horrible fights. Marija reassured her daughters and told them this would not be a marriage of love but of convenience and survival. The family was to move to Canada and begin a new life, one with no fights-physical or verbal.

Once her mother applied for immigration, Vivianne was deemed stateless in her mother‘s passport. She was not only illegitimate, she was also countryless, she didn‘t belong to any country and no country claimed her. This was yet another obstacle for her to overcome. She vowed one day she would belong to a country and they would welcome her. Once in Canada things did not improve, in fact things got worse and the first winter they went hungry. One afternoon Vivianne‘s mother took her by the hand and went to a local Catholic Church where Vivianne explained the family‘s

plight in her broken English and the priest gave them $35.00. This money bought rice, flour and other staples to hold the family over until Papa could find work. This experience made a deep impression on Vivianne, and she decided to take life in her own hands.

At 14, she begged her mother to get a work permit for her so she could go to work and help the family. Vivianne got a dream job for a 14-year-old immigrant, one that would guarantee her future and give her a profession. She was to work for a dentist, and he was going to train her to become a dental assistant. Vivianne looked older than her young 14 years and her natural beauty was beginning to become noticeable. One afternoon when the dentist was out, a friend of the dentist sexually assaulted Vivianne.

Her next job was one of service as she began making sandwiches behind the lunch counter at Woolworth‘s, a large drugstore that became famous as they sold a myriad of different things. Vivianne liked this job as she felt appreciated and even noticed with her little name tag. She wanted more out of life, so while working at Woolworth, she enrolled in night school and learned how to be a stenographer and how to type. This proved to be a smart decision as soon after she was able to find a job working with the famed German automaker Volkswagen. She was excited to be a part of a large team of women working together, but soon became very despondent as these women were over twice her age. There was no camaraderie - no life.

Every day that passed was becoming more and more oppressive and Vivianne became very depressed and decided all her efforts to improve herself and help her family were in vain. No matter what she did, Vivianne felt defeated. So, at the tender age of 17, she decided to take her own life. She thought about the different ways to end her life and after considering the possibilities she remembered she heard- once if you were in a garage and closed the door and let a car motor run you would be overcome with carbon monoxide and simply fall into a deep sleep. With the garage door closed and the motor running, Vivianne was about to let her young life leave her body when suddenly she saw a little girl with cropped hair wearing a short dress. The little girl asked Vivianne what she was doing and immediately Vivianne turned off the engine.

While getting out of the car and shaking her head clear, Vivianne looked for this little girl but couldn‘t find her.

Vivianne’s told me she thought the little girl was about 6, and she thought maybe she came into the garage by a side door. I would like to entertain another idea if I may. As most of you know I am an energy healer among other things. I believe we all have an inner child that will appear when and if we need them to help us with unparallel wisdom. I would like to think this little girl was actually her inner child, telling her she had a whole life to live and a mission to complete. I also believe that part of that mission was writing this book to help others in similar circumstances.

With a newfound energy, Vivianne returned to her job and was able to transfer to another job with the same Volkswagen company as the secretary to the manager of the customer service department. One day a handsome, dashing young man walked in and bought a Porsche. He didn‘t have a white steed or shiny armor, but he was Vivianne‘s white knight and her savior. She was 20 years old, beautiful, full of life, with a twinkle in her eye when fellow German immigrant, Wiland Knebel noticed Vivianne and her life changed forever. When Wiland saw Vivianne he ‘thought she was a stone that looked different from all the others. I had the foresight to polish that stone, and it turned into a diamond.” The soon to be diamond and her knight married in 1965 and immigrated to the United States and found success in Wiland‘s wood exporting business. They raised two children together and settled in the Midwest.

Wiland has always encouraged Vivianne to be all she could be, and she learned to pilot a plane, run a marathon and become that shiny diamond. Vivianne declares that one of her biggest accomplishments was when she became an American citizen. “This country has given us so much, and we are forever grateful for that.” Vivianne‘s gratitude extends to her husband of 55 years and to Karsten Joehnk, another German immigrant, who has been a partner since 1974, a visionary, a friend and a family member. She decided to write a book called, From Rubble To Champagne for his 80th birthday.

Vivianne was presented with yet another obstacle she would have to overcome. In a routine visit with her doctor, he found a lump in her breast. After a mammogram, she was given her diagnosis of breast cancer. She was shocked and in disbelief, why now when everything she had worked for her whole life was finally achieved. After maybe 15 minutes of self-pity, Vivianne decided she would treat cancer like she has treated every challenge in her life. She faced it with a positive attitude and refused to allow this dreaded disease to invade her life the way it had her body. After surgery, radiation, and the loving support of Wiland, Vivianne is a cancer survivor.

Vivianne‘s decided that it was time to pay tribute to her husband, and to share her story. A story of a brave Lady, who survived bombs, hunger, sexual abuse, and the stigma of being illegitimate, and cancer.

The minute she turned off the engine in that garage, she knew she had a mission to complete. Her mission has been fulfilled by sharing her story, so others may know that trials and tribulations can be overcome as long as you keep a positive attitude.

Vivianne and Wiland are retired and live in La Jolla, an affluent California community and part of San Diego County. They still enjoy each other’s company. She takes good care of herself and sets a beautiful table with wine glasses ready for her knight to fill. She is also very fashion conscious, takes regular trips to Europe to check out the latest fashion, and is always perfectly coiffed. This, ladies and gents, is my idea of a real Lady!

To learn more about Vivianne’s incredible life order her book: From Rubble To Champagne:Rising from the ashes of war- torn Berlin to a life of grace, beauty and gratitude.

Available at Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble