Women of Distinction
Gratitude By Carol Heath
Photos courtesy of Vivianne Knebel
“I
remember carrying a little metal pail, I think I was about 5 or maybe 6, and I went to this department store that was just rebuilt after being destroyed during the war. I had my pride of course so I told the butcher in the grocery department, I would like some fish and chicken heads for my cat. Then I brought them home to my mother so she could make soup for us.” These are the memories of a very courageous, determined Lady, Vivianne Knebel, that I had the opportunity to interview recently. I have met only one real Lady in my life, and now I think I have met another. It is funny that both these women have over-come some hardships in life to rise above it all and become beautiful, accomplished, classy, Ladies. Yes, I said classy I know it isn‘t politically correct but class is something you are born with, you can‘t learn it, or buy it, you either got it or you don‘t. I can only imagine seeing a scrawny little imp of a child with cropped hair swinging her little pail full of fish and chicken heads, her bounty for the day. This little waif, born in 1943, a product of post-war Nazi Germany, was the second illegitimate child born to a proud, strong woman, but above all a survivor. Marija Pavic was young, beautiful, and full of life a unique quality in wartime Nazi
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Germany. In times of war every relationship may be your last, so you give of yourself freely, and Marija wore her heart on her sleeve like so many other young German girls. By 1943, and the birth of her second child, Marija vowed to protect both her daughters from falling bombs, crumbling buildings and hunger - the ever present threat. She struck deals in the black market and sewed brasseries to survive. As the years passed and the war came to an end, life for Marija and her two young daughters did not change that much. The bombs may have stopped, but again they were often cold and hungry. It fell on little Vivianne, barely six years old, to provide scraps from the market, so her mother could make soup for the family. As for keeping the family warm, Vivianne would collect the fish crates to use in the stove to keep them warm. Vivianne was excited to begin school and to excel in her studies, as she was accustomed to pleasing her mother. However, this was not the case, and it was difficult for Vivianne to grasp the information; she just needed more time to assimilate the idea. This was post-war Berlin, there were no excuses made, you learned the information, or you were not promoted, it was that simple. There was no summer school or extra help, so Vivianne was humiliated and doomed to repeat the first grade, and condemned to her mother as dumb. There seemed to be a pattern forming that Vivianne was not accustomed to, and she
felt life changing even at her young age. That little girl with her silver pail, so confident, so proud, began to disappear and being held back to repeat the first grade added to this heavy feeling. Vivianne began to lose her confidence and her self-esteem began to waiver. As the years passed the Pavic family survived, however doing without was a constant reminder of how hard life was with each passing year. When Vivianne was 7 years old, her mother was reunited with an old school friend, who had just spent 5 years in a Siberian prison camp. His return to Berlin was fortunate for Marija and her two daughters as well as for him. He reconnected with a beautiful, warm, loving woman with a passion for life, something he admired. He was a tailor by trade and began making clothes for the family, clothes that fit and kept them warm. One day when the girls returned from school, their mother sat them down to tell them he was going to be their new father. The girls welcomed him, as going to bed with a full stomach and wearing warm clothes was something they became accustomed. Vivianne began to call him Papa almost immediately, while her big sister was a bit more reserved. As Berlin started to rebuild, so did Vivianne‘s hopes of a happy family, the kind of family she read about in school. Her dreams of a happy family began to shatter as her mother and new Papa would have loud verbal fights. Hiding in the next room
with a pillow over her head did not drown out the loud voices full of abusive sounding words. Vivianne watched her mother lose some of her love for life- she begged her mother to leave, a full stomach and warm clothes were not worth her mother‘s unhappiness. Marija told her children it was just too hard to survive, she was tired and didn‘t want them to be hungry or cold anymore. The loud fights continued, sometimes turning into physical altercations, but again her mother would not leave him. When Vivianne turned 13, she began to recognize that people would say her older sister was beautiful with her fully developed body and pleasing personality. However, once again these thoughts did nothing to help her self-esteem; mercifully there was a big change about to happen. One afternoon Marija sat her girls down and told them that she was going to marry the man they called Papa. The girls begged her to reconsider, reminding her of the constant horrible fights. Marija reassured her daughters and told them this would not be a marriage of love but of convenience and survival. The family was to move to Canada and begin a new life, one with no fights-physical or verbal. Once her mother applied for immigration, Vivianne was deemed stateless in her mother‘s passport. She was not only illegitimate, she was also countryless, she didn‘t belong to any country and no country claimed her. This was yet another obstacle for her to overcome. She vowed one day she would belong to a country and they would welcome her. Once in Canada things did not improve, in fact things got worse and the first winter they went hungry. One afternoon Vivianne‘s mother took her by the hand and went to a local Catholic Church where Vivianne explained the family‘s
