YES! Weekly - April 6, 2022

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APRIL 6-12, 2022 VOLUME 18, NUMBER 14

12 5500 Adams Farm Lane Suite 204 Greensboro, NC 27407 Office 336-316-1231 Fax 336-316-1930

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Publisher CHARLES A. WOMACK III publisher@yesweekly.com EDITORIAL

Brandi Silver never thought she’d be making pins and cards with funny phrases and that celebrated pop cultural icons via PIN & PROPER. In fact, Silver never even wanted her own business. She was looking for one pin to honor her father’s memory. When she couldn’t find it, she decided to make it.

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The name CILLE AND SCOE pays tribute to Lucille and Roscoe Reaves, grandparents of Sean Reaves, chef and co-owner along with his wife, Tara. They taught him “to cultivate produce from seed to final dish and how to appreciate every step along the way.”

6 You can’t run away from your problems, but are you willing to fake an entire persona to hide?The story of two friends traveling to a rural town in Georgia after one of them is having some marital troubles leads to lies, a bogus language, and laughs in Camel City Playhouse’s upcoming performance of Larry Sue’s THE FOREIGNER. 7 The North Carolina Writers’ Network (NCWN) and the MFA in Creative Writing Program at UNC-Greensboro will present its 2022 SPRING CONFERENCE on Saturday, April 23 in the UNCG Moore Humanities and Research Administration (MHRA) Building, 1111 Spring Garden St., in Greensboro, and the Curry Auditorium located next door.

8 Once upon a time, there were only three TV channels to watch, and in the late 1970’s, no show was bigger than “Laverne &

Shirley,” a sitcom starring CINDY WILLIAMS and Penny Marshall as roommates who worked at a Milwaukee beer factory.

This Sunday, Cindy will give two performances of her one-woman show, “Me, Myself, and Shirley,” at High Point Theatre.

9 Writer/director Rachel Carey’s awardwinning feature debut, DEADLY CUTS, is a colorful, good-natured black comedy, a “chick flick” and an underdog story — although it’s not entirely surprising how it all turns out.

15 A High Point community organization no longer wants to PRESERVE THE NAME of a demolished public housing complex and the man it was named after. Until recently, the group Daniel Brooks Keepers of the Name opposed calling a new mixed-income housing complex “Legacy Ridge.”

19 The infamous ZIGGY’S concert venue returns, bringing “roots, rock, reggae” to a huge outdoor stage, as part of the COHAB campus in High Point. Officially known as “Ziggy’s.Space,” the enterprise has been affectionately dubbed “Ziggy’s 3.0” by marketing and bar manager, Greg Gerald.

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DISTRIBUTION JANICE GANTT ANDREW WOMACK We at YES! Weekly realize that the interest of our readers goes well beyond the boundaries of the Piedmont Triad. Therefore we are dedicated to informing and entertaining with thought-provoking, debate-spurring, in-depth investigative news stories and features of local, national and international scope, and opinion grounded in reason, as well as providing the most comprehensive entertainment and arts coverage in the Triad. YES! Weekly welcomes submissions of all kinds. Efforts will be made to return those with a self-addressed stamped envelope; however YES! Weekly assumes no responsibility for unsolicited submissions. YES! Weekly is published every Wednesday by Womack Newspapers, Inc. No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. First copy is free, all additional copies are $1.00. Copyright 2022 Womack Newspapers, Inc.

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[SPOTLIGHT]

EAST WINSTON-SALEM BALLET INITIATIVE IS OFF TO A FLYING START It’s been just one month since Triad International Ballet launched its community outreach program in East Winston-Salem, and the number of students has increased, to almost 20.

Geneviève Basu, a soloist with Triad Ballet, and Natalya Davison, Triad Ballet’s artistic director, will teach the initial classes at the Winston Lake Family YMCA, located at 901 Waterworks Road in WinstonSalem. They will be joined periodically by other senior members of the company.

Recently, Basu worked with a group of joyful young girls one evening, guiding their nascent steps into art. “Visualize that you’re sitting on a cloud. Dance is movement through space and time,” she said. We are visible representations of the music. It requires a lot of movement and mobility, right?”

The hope and excitement could be felt in the room.

Triad International Ballet, a new professional ballet company serving the Triad, is offering ballet classes to elementary and high school students. The ballet company has teamed up with The Center for the Study of Economic Mobility (CSEM) at Winston-Salem State University, My Brothers’ and Sisters’ Keeper in WinstonSalem, and the Guiding Institute for Developmental Education (GIDE) to offer classes for girls and boys.

On the first night of classes, Velma Terry brought several girls to the class and even joined in some of the lessons with them.

“We have the wonderful opportunity to give back to these children,” said Terry, the GIDE site coordinator and director of the D.I.V.A.S Parenting Program. “And there is love, a unity that you see. So we pray that this will reach the community and this will grow into a beautiful outreach for the community.”

Alexia Maas, the executive director of Triad Ballet, is convinced there is an abundance of talent in East Winston-Salem and was determined from the outset that

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this initiative would find it. Already, from the first few classes held, she said she and Basu have spotted quite a few highpotential students and are exploring ways to develop them further — both through the classes at Winston Lake Y and possibly bringing the classes, on occasion, to the company’s main studio in Greensboro to work alongside other gifted students.

CSEM shares that view as it stresses “making the invisible visible.” City leaders emphasize the arts as an economic driver downtown, but there is just as much talent in East Winston. And the arts are transformative, bringing comfort, bridging gaps, and building unity.

As part of its initiative in East Winston, Triad Ballet is also planning ways to bring its ballet performances to a wider audience in Winston-Salem to generate interest in their work and bring the arts to people who otherwise might not be able to experience it. The company also plans to extend its outreach to Senior Citizens, including those with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. One idea being explored is for Triad Ballet to do in-person and video performances at some of WinstonSalem’s nursing homes.

“We want to bring joy to the hearts of both our Senior Citizens and the youth of the community, and, as we’ve said before, we’re not just here to perform once a year and leave. We want to become an integral part of the community,” Maas said. “To live, love, laugh and cry with you and, maybe one day, feel a mutual sense of pride when we watch one of our hopefuls take to the stage as a professional ballet dancer. How magical that would be!”

For now, evidenced by the class at the Winston Lake Y, the initiative is off to a fine start.

To learn more about this initiative, go to www.triadinternationalballet.org !

JOHN RAILEY, raileyjb@gmail.com, is the writer-inresidence for CSEM, www.wssu.edu/csem.

ARTWORK—STEPHANIE BAILEY

BY JOHN RAILEY

COLOR YOUR WORLD APRIL 21–30, 2022 In Person and Online

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EAT IT!

Chow down with John Batchelor at Cille and Scoe was wrong.

On my first visit to Cille and Scoe, my wife and I left, politely, without ordering. The restaurant was packed. It was noisy, and the only seats available were high chairs at a counter looking into the kitchen, making conversation with friends difficult to impossible.

If we had stayed, we would have been able to observe the kitchen personnel at work, and we would have recognized early what we realized later: they are producing some of the best food I have had in years in any restaurant, at any price.

The name Cille and Scoe pays tribute to Lucille and Roscoe Reaves, grandparents of Sean Reaves, chef and co-owner along with his wife, Tara. They taught him “to cultivate produce from seed to final dish and how to appreciate every step along the way.” Their concept seeks “to breathe new life into old stereotypes of southern food.” [Quotations from the restaurant website.] Sean was head chef at Southern Roots and has also cooked at Green Valley Grill, 1618 Midtown, and Liberty Oak. Tara is a former teacher, who, like most teachers (me included), also had a second job, in her case in front-of-the-house restaurant positions. Her family owns Rolling Meadow Farm in Browns Summit, where some vegetables are sourced.

Ingredients here are sourced locally to the extent possible, with a goal of 90 percent.

A chalkboard lists current suppliers.

They call their concept “Southern redefined.”

Shrimp and Grits exemplifies Southern traditions. Here, six deveined jumbos, cooked perfectly tender, flank three fried grits cake triangles, with fried Neese’s

sausage scattered alongside. Arugula leaves lend color as well as flavor. All this is surrounded by a creamy pan sauce that incorporates flavors, especially from the sausage. We asked our server for a soup spoon. She thought we were kidding. No. In the absence of a spoon, I would have scandalized my wife by licking the plate.

Southern redefined? How about Southern refined?

Popcorn Cauliflower is a novel idea, expertly executed. Bite-sized pieces of the vegetable are lightly fried, yielding excellent crisp texture and flavor in their own right. An anchovy cream dipping sauce produces just a hint of anchovy flavor within a tart context, further enhanced with pecorino cheese and truffle oil. Rich,

complex, and most enjoyable.

Several salads go quite beyond the lettuce out of a bag that characterizes so many salads in area restaurants. The Balanced One, for example, is constructed with arugula, decorated with shaved Manchego cheese interspersed with pea shoots and pine nuts, dressed in a honey Dijon. Spring Colors mixes fresh green peas with asparagus, feta cheese, and shaved radish — colorful and flavorful, a function to some extent of a fresh basil vinaigrette.

Elevated Fish Sticks, one of five menu entrées, sustains the theme of refinement. Flounder is cut into strips, fried crisp, the white meat still tender. These rest in a bright green pea purée, which

adds a sweetish vegetable influence. A Texas Pete remoulade sauce is dabbed around the plate, yielding an abstract design that also tastes great. Mountain and Stream is a trout dish, the fish sourced from the North Carolina mountains, flavored with Parmesan cheese, bread crumbs, ground almonds, and fresh sage.

It is wrapped in bacon, surrounded by a tomato-tarragon reduction.

Slow and Low describes the cooking process the kitchen employs for short ribs. This is presented as a block, with two large slices of beef alternating with au gratin potatoes, all ladled with dark brown pan gravy. The meat is fork-tender, its depth of flavor rarely matched. The potatoes constitute a perfect pairing. Crisp fried tobacco onions complete this masterpiece.

Braising of the Lamb is a whimsical title for a lushly flavored dish. The slow cooking technique infuses the meat with added flavorings from cumin and chili powder in addition to rendering it tender, then it is pulled into shreds, its pan juices added to the plate, surrounded with chickpeas, turnips, carrots, and white beans, with further complexity from a lemon-garlic reduction.

Chops Don’t Lie reveals the true flavor of a large veal chop, the exterior slightly charred, presented over risotto and sharpened with a jalapeno-leek vinaigrette. The treatment allows the primary flavor to stand in the forefront, but yields a pleasant aftertaste.

My wife remarked that she would order This Pasta again, even if it did not include bites of filet mignon. The first flavor im-

AU GRATIN POTATOES

BRAISING OF THE LAMB

LTOP BURGER

CHICKEN IN DUMPLINGS

BY JOHN BATCHELOR

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CHOPS DON’T LIE

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muic lover

PA R A D I S E

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SHRIMP AND GRITS CAKE pact is from soft-cooked onions, followed by recognition that this is fresh pasta. The steak pieces bear no gristle or fat, no trimming necessary, just bite and enjoy. A red wine pan sauce with black truffle infusion rounds out another most enjoyable dish.

LTOP is an acronym for Lettuce, Tomato, Onion, and Pickle, denoting the menu’s hamburger. This is a major league burger, based on a large, deeply flavored, seared patty, hosted on a lightly toasted brioche bun. Spring mix lettuces again raise the level of sophistication. White cheddar cheese is melted over the meat. This comes with hand-cut French fries — some crisp, some a little soft, all tasting of real potato.

Chicken in Dumplings is constructed by wrapping tender, pulled chicken in a homemade pasta sheet, sort of like enchiladas in appearance, mostly like something our grandmothers would have aspired to in flavor. Pan gravy is redolent of the fowl — a little salty for my taste, but still excellent.

Side vegetables may be necessary in order to get your greens. Root Vegetable julienne provides al dente sliced green and red cabbage, plus carrots and onions.

Shaved Brussels sprouts are very lightly cooked, allowing appropriate texture to remain intact. The natural flavor of the vegetable is clearly evident, as opposed to the obliteration that characterizes most

area treatments of this personal favorite.

I have often complained about vegetable boredom in the Triad. Cille and Scoe resolves all my issues!

A pair of striking photos of Roscoe and Lucille Reaves looks down from a brick wall as you enter. They have reason to be proud of their namesake. This column is no longer assigning numerical ratings, but if I were to apply the standards I developed over 40 years of restaurant reviewing, Cille and Scoe would get 4 Stars for food — placing it in elite company, indeed. !

JOHN BATCHELOR has been writing about eating and drinking since 1981. Over a thousand of his articles have been published. He is also author of two travel/ cookbooks: Chefs of the Coast: Restaurants and Recipes from the North Carolina Coast, and Chefs of the Mountains: Restaurants and Recipes from Western North Carolina.

Contact him at john.e.batchelor@gmail.com or see his blog, johnbatchelordiningandtravel.blogspot.com.

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72 ROLLING ACRES in CHATHAM COUNTY, NC

go?

Cille and Scoe is located at 312 S. Elm Street, Greensboro, 27401 | 336-522-6592 cilleandscoe.com Hours: 11 a.m.-3 p.m., 5-9 p.m. Tuesday-Thursday, 11 a.m.-3 p.m., 5-10 p.m. Friday & Saturday, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Sunday Appetizers: $13-$15 | Salads: $12-$15 | Entrees: $13-$28 | Desserts: $8 Most recent visit: March 23

2021-22

Me, Myself & Shirley

Season

Starring Cindy Williams

SUNDAY, APRIL 10, 2022 DOORS OPEN @ 1PM // SHOW STARTS @ 2PM DOORS OPEN @ 6PM // SHOW STARTS @ 7PM

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MOUNTAIN AND STREAM

APRIL

Best known for her iconic role as Shirley Feeney in the hit television series, Laverne & Shirley, Cindy Williams is a versatile actress and comedienne who overcame a challenging childhood to pursue her love of acting and found stardom. Cindy shares her memories and hilarious backstage tales in Me, Myself & Shirley covering a lifetime in entertainment. Her storied career includes working with Oscar-winning directors in several films including two nominated for the Best Picture Oscar. Come hear the stories, the secrets, the embarrassing moments, and the highs and lows of Cindy’s life in Hollywood, (and maybe relive a favorite scene or two)!

29 Ballet Folklorico de Los Angeles

MAY

15 Raleigh Ringers Acts and dates subject to change.

For up to date news, visit our website.

VISIT: HighPointTheatre.com for more information | FOR TICKETS CALL: 336-887-3001 APRIL 6-12, 2022

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The show goes on: Camel City Playhouse reopens to The Foreigner

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ou can’t run away from your problems, but are you willing to fake an entire persona to hide?

The story of two friends traveling to a rural town in Naima Said Georgia after one of them is having some marital troubles Contributor leads to lies, a bogus language, and laughs in Camel City Playhouse’s upcoming performance of Larry Sue’s The Foreigner. The play runs from Thursday, April 7 to Saturday, April 9 at 7:30 p.m. with matinee shows on Saturday, April 9th, and Sunday, April 10 at 3 p.m. Camel City Playhouse is located at 110 W. 7th Street in Winston-Salem.

“The Foreigner is a screwball comedy.

Charlie Baker, our main character, agrees to accompany his friend, Froggy LeSueur on a fishing trip after he has some marital problems. When they arrive at a rural town in the south, Charlie wants to remain under the radar and creates a fake persona of a foreigner that doesn’t speak English. Word spreads soon of Charlie’s exotic nature and soon everyone who steps foot in the lodge reveals their secrets and diabolical plans in front of him,” said Carl Nubile, codirector. “His profession is a proofreader

for a science fiction magazine, so he is a rather dull character who has to develop a personality in order to come up with this nonsense language so no one will understand him. In the process, the townspeople try to teach him English.”

Nubile mentions that The Foreigner is his “first big directorial debut” and that he has been an actor for most of his theatrical career. He is co-directing the play with seasoned director Pam McHone Barrans. “Pam is excellent at blocking and overall execution while my strength is delving into the depths of the characters, and seeking specific emotions and motives behind certain actions,” Nubile said. “Some of the best directors have been on stage, and as we get older, we direct the way we like to see things.

We want to treat the actors the way we would have liked to be treated if we were doing this show.”

The play was initially slated to be performed in late January but was postponed until April after an outbreak of the Omicron variant. That doesn’t hamper the enthusiasm that the actors and actresses carry for the play. Hampton Rowe, who plays Charlie, is said that the role is a lot more challenging than one would think. The Raleigh native spent five years in Los Angeles after graduating with a bachelor’s in fine arts before settling in Winston-Salem to work in the local theatre scene.

“This play, like its name, has been a foreign experience — anything but

traditional, and a fun production at that.

I was lucky enough to be cast as Charlie, the foreigner himself, which is a lot more challenging than one would think since he is sort of creating his character as the story goes, being present in his reaction.

The most ironic part is that he wants to be a nobody but gets invested in everything around him,” said Hampton Rowe.

“I had actually seen this show about 15 years ago and thought it was hilarious.”

Similar to Rowe, his co-star Maryl Wilson, a Wisconsin native who plays Betty Meeks, found her home in WinstonSalem after a 20-year hiatus from the stage to raise her children.

“I was fortunate enough to be welcomed into the Camel City family, and receive the part of Betty Meeks, who is the resort lodge owner, and mother to all her guests. She is a widow in her 80’s that maintains a sarcastically sweet nature,” Wilson said. “This is my first time playing a character again. I played this role back in college, so to have the chance to reprise the role in a completely different space with a completely different cast, even directors who are coming at it from a different angle, has been so much fun. You think as an actor, who has done a performance, which you would remember specific details and how you went about certain actions, but you can’t. You have to be open to trying the character in a new way. “ Wilson said the show is for everyone.

“It’s a show you attend when you just want to laugh and have a good time. The people are relatable and a little unusual since it takes place in the south but was written by someone who wasn’t from the south, so it is interesting to see his take on the southern persona.”

In the theatre realm, drama is considered easy, while comedy is categorized as hard since the only thing you don’t have in rehearsal is an audience to know where all the laughs are.

“What makes comedy so special is that it is a collaborative effort, much more so than any other genre. If one can carry a comedy, they have succeeded as a playwright, director, or actor,” Wilson said.

For more information and ticket sales, visit https://camelcityplayhouse.com/. !

NAIMA SAID is a 23-year-old UNCG theatre graduate and host of Heeere’sNeeNee Horror Movie Podcast.

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NCWN Spring Conference for writers returns to Greensboro The North Carolina Writers’ Network (NCWN) and the MFA in Creative Writing Program at UNC-Greensboro will present its 2022 Spring Conference on Saturday, April 23 in the UNCG Moore Mark Burger Humanities and Research Administration (MHRA) Building, Contributor 1111 Spring Garden St., in Greensboro, and the Curry Auditorium located next door. The event is open to anyone interested in the creative writing process, be it fiction, non-fiction, books and novels, screenplays, and/or poetry. Registration for the on-site conference is $100 (members) and $150 (non-members); registration for the on-line conference is $75 (members) and $125 (non-members), and registration ends at noon, April 18.

This marks the first time that the NCWN has offered screenwriting programs and scholarships, especially for screenwriters at the Spring Conference. This is also the first in-person Spring Conference since April 2019.

This year’s Spring Conference faculty includes Michele T. Berger, a noted professor, writer, and poet who is currently a trustee on the board of the NCWN and PresidentElect of the North Carolina Literary and Historical Association; Belle Boggs, author of such works as The Gulf: A Novel, On Fertility, Medicine, and Motherhood, and Mattaponi Queen: Stories, and a professor of English and director of the MFA program at NC State University; Charmaine Cadeau, professor of English at High Point University and an advisor for Apogee Magazine, whose latest book, Skytale, was handmade with the support of JackPine Press; Jamie Chambliss, a graduate of Wake Forest University with a master’s degree in journalism from the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, and currently an agent with Folio Literary Management; Mary M. Dalton, a professor of Communication at Wake Forest University where she teaches courses emphasizing critical media studies and screenwriting; Stuart Dischell, author of such works as Evenings & Avenues, Dig Safe, Backwards Days, and Good Hope Road, a National Poetry Series Selection, as well as the forthcoming The Lookout Man; Joy Goodwin, Emmy-winning writer and producer (Black Nativity, May in the Summer, and the upcoming Mabel, and chair WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM

of the graduate screenwriting program at the UNCSA School of the Arts in WinstonSalem; Caleb Johnson, who teaches writing at Appalachian State University and author of the acclaimed novel Treeborne; Charlie Lovett, playwright and host of the podcast Inside the Writer’s Studio, and New York Times best-selling author of The Bookman s Tale, Escaping Dreamland, and other novels; Travis Mulhauser, author of the acclaimed novel Sweetgirl and Greetings from Cutler County: A Novella and Stories, who received his MFA in fiction from UNC-Greensboro; Laura Mullen, also a teacher at Wake Forest University and a noted poet whose recent works have been featured in Fence, Together in a Sudden Strangeness, and Bettering American Poetry; Duncan Murrell, who directed the writing program at Duke University’s Center for Documentary Studies, is a contributing editor at Harper s Magazine and The Oxford American, and the founder (with fellow Algonquin Books alum Chuck Adams) of CraftBook Editorial; Derek Palacio, whose works include The Mortifications, How to Shake the Other Man, and the short story “Sugercane,” who teaches in the MFA program at UNC Greensboro; Philadelphia native Maegan Poland, who teaches creative writing and composition at Drexel University and whose collection of short stories, What Makes You Think You’re Awake?, which was published last year by Blair Press and selected by Carmen Maria Machado to win the Bakwin Award; Rachel Priest, assistant editor at The Bitter Southerner and formerly a writer and editor at The Red & Black’s culture desk; writer and book designer Meg Reid, who holds an MFA in non-fiction from UNC-Wilmington and the director of Hub City Press in Spartanburg, SC; novelist poet, and musician Steven Sherrill, whose works include The Minotaur Takes a Cigarette Break and Joy, PA; Julia Ridley Smith, who teaches fiction writing at UNC Chapel Hill, where she is the 2021-’22 Kenan Visiting Writer, whose memoir The Sum of Trifles was published

by University of Georgia Press last year; and Carole Boston Weatherford, who made her literary debut with Juneteenth Jamboree in 1995 and whose books have received three Caldecott Honors, two NAACP Image Awards, an SCBWI Golden Kite Award, and a Coretta Scott King Author Honor, to name a few.

For more information and a complete schedule of events, visit Spring Conference 2022 (Greensbor https://www. ncwriters.org/index.php/programsand-services/conferences/12593-sc22o) (ncwriters.org). !

[ WEEKLY ARTS ROUNDUP]

CINEMA BEYOND THE SCREEN: AN A/PERTURE CINEMA EXHIBITION

BY HOLLEY SHEABURN | Marketing & Outreach Coordinator for a/perture cinema a/perture cinema is proud to present Cinema Beyond the Screen. This exhibit, celebrating local artists, highlights the magic of cinema and the inspiration we are left with after we’ve seen a film in a theatre. Curated by a/perture Executive Director and Curator, Lawren Desai, it features 18 local artists that created new one-of-a-kind art works for purchase celebrating the magic of cinema.

“During the month the show is up, we hope guests will consider purchasing their favorite cinematic piece, which not only supports a/perture, but local artists as well,” said Desai. “We want to play our role in uplifting the local arts community by showcasing a diverse group of artists and mediums.” Artists featured in the exhibition are Terry ShupbachGordon, Veronica Vale, Shairpins by Sheridan Watkins, Ian Dennis, Caroline Dalholt, Cami Burruss, Leigh Kelly, Leo Rucker, Joey Allen, Virginia Christman, Angela Mendez, Kaitlin Botts, Elizabeth Shanahan, Grant Wilmoth, Lindsay Piper Potter-Figueiredo, Hannah Gaskins Pabon, A.K. Landreth, and Abel Brone-Hammer.

After five months of planning, Cinema Beyond the Screen is on view at the Milton Rhodes Center for Art in the Main Gallery, hosted by Arts Council of Winston-Salem & Forsyth County. “I had no clue this crazy little idea of mine would come together in this way. These artists really captured how cinema is such a part of our culture and continues to inspire our creativity long after we have seen a film,” says Desai.

The exhibit, which opened March 28th with a gallery reception to celebrate the artists on April 1st, boasts a very diverse collection of art that we are excited to showcase to our community. One of the artists included, A.K. Landreth, says, “When a/perture cinema asked me to be a part of their annual fundraising event, I knew I wanted to bring something abstract to the table! [My] piece represents the connection we experience to film through what everyone involved brings to the table. From the actors, to the directors and the cinematographers,

they create something tangible for us viewers to experience and interpret in our own way with our own meaning.

Much like abstract art!” We encourage everyone to stop by the exhibit and peruse the art. Proceeds from this exhibit go to the artists and to support a/perture’s annual operations. a/perture cinema is a non-profit art house cinema in downtown WinstonSalem, North Carolina with a mission to engage and entertain the community through the art of film by showcasing thought-provoking and inspiring films — films that enrich our lives, engage our minds, promote diversity, and build community. Screening a mix of independent, foreign, documentary, local and festival films in two 80-seat theaters, one 45-seat screening room, and the 22-seat petit a/.

We would like to thank Arts Council of Winston-Salem & Forsyth County for hosting this exhibit.

ARTS COUNCIL is the chief advocate of the arts and cultural sector in Winston-Salem and Forsyth County. Our goal is to serve as a leader in lifting up, creating awareness and providing support to grow and sustain artistic, cultural and creative offerings throughout our region. We acknowledge that it takes every voice, every talent, and every story to make our community a great place to live, work, and play. Arts Council is committed to serving as a facilitator, organizer, and promoter of conversations that are authentic, inclusive, and forward-thinking.

There are over 800,000 art experiences taking place in Winston-Salem and Forsyth County annually. To learn more about upcoming arts and culture events happening in our community please visit www. cityofthearts.com.

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“Laverne & Shirley” Star Cindy Williams to perform here

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nce upon a time, there were only three TV channels to watch, and in the late 1970’s, no show was bigger than “Laverne & Shirley,” a sitcom Jim Longworth starring Cindy Williams and Penny Marshall as roomLongworth mates who worked at Large at a Milwaukee beer factory. The series was a spin-off from a “Happy Days” episode in which Fonzie had arranged for Laverne (Marshall) and Shirley (Williams) to double date with him and Richie (Ron Howard). By its third season, “Laverne & Shirley” was the number one show in the country, and 46 years later, Williams is still performing, and still popular around the globe. This Sunday, Cindy will give two performances of her one-woman show, “Me, Myself, and Shirley,” at High Point Theatre. I caught up with Cindy last week, and we talked about the show and her career.

JL: Do you remember the first time you performed on stage?

CW: Yes, it was in the first grade, and they had a talent show, and I sang “Hickory Dickory Dock,” and I had total stage fright, but I did it.

JL: Do you remember who won the talent show?

CW: No, but I’m sure it was some ne’erdo-well first grader (laughs).

JL: When did you first realize that you wanted to act professionally?

CW: It was in high school. I had wanted to be a nurse, but I didn’t have an academic brain, so I entered a talent show at school, and the drama teacher, Mr. Kulp, said, “If you have an elective, I’d like to offer you a spot this coming semester to be in ‘Play Production’ and skip Drama I and II,” so I did. That’s when I thought I’d like to be able to earn a living from acting.

I just loved it so much.

JL: Over the years, various cast and crew members on “Laverne & Shirley” say that they had to work long hours because you and Penny would often do re-writes on the script. What drove you to work so hard on that show?

CW: We had a litmus test, which was if the script made Penny and me laugh out loud. That’s what we were going for, is to YES! WEEKLY

APRIL 6-12, 2022

PHOTO BY CHRISTOPHER AMERUOSO

Cindy Williams make the studio audience laugh out loud, then we figured it would translate to the audience at home. So, if it made us laugh out loud at rehearsal, then we knew it was good to go. When it didn’t, we would rewrite it, or try and put things in that made it funny. Once we got the show on its feet and started moving around, we would add things, add lines, and ad lib. The whole cast would.

JL: Even in the late 1970’s, there were certain things you couldn’t do or say on television, thus the reason for you and Penny using the phrase “Vody-O-DoeDoe,” instead of saying the word sex. If “Laverne & Shirley” were on the air today, would using more graphic language make the show better or funnier?

CW: No, it wouldn’t. When audiences of today laugh at graphic language, they’re usually laughing out of nervousness, not out of joy.

Also, we had a censor back then. He was a born-again Christian and the nicest guy, and he wouldn’t let us get away with anything. That’s how we came up with “Vody-O-Doe-Doe,” which made the audience laugh out loud, because they know what Shirley did. It’s much more fun when everybody is thinking the same thing at the same time. Instead of saying someone is showing pornography, we’d say, “They’re showing dirty pictures,” and the

audience would laugh because it’s much more fun. We used innuendo and attitude in a fun-loving way.

JL: Moving from comedy to drama, I went back recently and watched the episode you did on “Law & Order SVU” in which you played an evil woman who was trying to kill her little granddaughter. You also played serious roles in such films as “The Conversation” with Gene Hackman.

Do you prefer doing drama over comedy, or wish you had done more?

CW: I’d like to have played more middle of the road parts, but I didn’t have a chance because no one was going to cast me after “Laverne & Shirley.” I remember going up for this big part, and I went in, and the producer said, “I’d love to cast you, but I can’t. You’re just too recognizable as Shirley Feeney.” And it’s the truth, and I understand that. Look, it’s a blessing that I got to play that character and it became so popular with people, so I never regret that.

JL: Do you remember when you first realized you were famous?

CW: I guess it was in the second season we were in New York City and they had asked us to be in the Thanksgiving Day parade, and we were on this float, and we saw all these people push past this barrier and they were running toward us. So we looked behind us to see who it was they were running toward, and we were going to join them (laughs). It must be somebody big. Then all this security came up and we realized it was for us. That was the first time we realized the popularity of the show. Penny and I had this same glitch in our personalities where we thought, “we can’t possibly be the popular girls.”

We never took show business seriously, and I think that’s part of the reason that “Laverne & Shirley” kept our feet on the ground.

JL: How did “Me Myself and Shirley” come about?

CW: I had written a book called “Shirley I Jest” and it has all my stories, and wonderful, fun adventures in Hollywood that I was privy to because of “Laverne & Shirley” and other things. So I was doing a play in Kansas City, and I was supposed to go to Florida to do a production of “Nunsense” right after that. But COVID hit, and they closed all the shows down, and I was stuck at home during the lock down. So then Danny Goggin who wrote “Nunsense” said, “Why don’t you write that one-woman show that you always talk about?” In the interim, Danny also introduced me to

a producer friend of his, Charles Duggan, so Charles and I wrote “Me Myself and Shirley” during the COVID lock-down.

JL: Is the show just for fans of “Laverne and Shirley,” or can anyone enjoy it?

CW: No, they have to write an essay on “Laverne & Shirley” or they won’t be allowed in the theatre (laughs). No, anyone who wants to laugh out loud should come and see the show.

JL: The road to success hasn’t always been easy for you. You had to wait tables at a pancake house, had all your scenes cut from your first film, but eventually became one of the most famous people in the world. What is it that anyone from any walk of life can learn from your journey?

CW: It can all be accomplished, but you have to always stay yourself. You have to keep your sense of humor. If you get knocked down, you have to get right back up and just keep going. God played a big part for me. I would talk to God and I’d get brave again. You always have to stay brave, and have faith in yourself and in all the beautiful things around you. You’re not always going to be invited to the party, you’re not always going to get the job, and you can’t let that deter you from what you want. If somebody else gets the job, you bless them and say “it wasn’t meant for me.” There was a point where I thought I’d be back to waiting tables, and I was OK with that, and it’s right before I got “Laverne & Shirley.”

JL: I know you get a lot of fan mail, but I wonder if you realize how much pleasure you’ve given to people over the years. There must have been times when someone had just lost a loved one, or lost their job, and they turned the TV on and watched “Laverne & Shirley,” and you had an impact on their lives.

CW: Thanks Jim. Yeah, people still come up to me and say, “You got me through a very bad time in my life, and made me laugh at a really bad time.” I love people, and wanted to comfort them.

JL: So in a way, I guess you did become a nurse.

CW: Yeah, in a way I guess I was a nurse.

But doing the show was such a blessing for me and such a privilege.

You can catch “nurse” Cindy at High Point Theatre this Sunday at 2 p.m. and 7 p.m. A few tickets are still available by calling (336) 887-3001. !

JIM LONGWORTH is the host of Triad Today, airing on Saturdays at 7:30 a.m. on ABC45 (cable channel 7) and Sundays at 11 a.m. on WMYV (cable channel 15).

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sic The Commitments. Like many actors in that cast, Ball continued her career primarily in the United Kingdom, winning some awards along the way. This is her largest feature role in some time, and she delivers on all counts, conjuring up wistful girlishness and cynical churlishness. She’s vulnerable yet resilient, and particularly adept at playing mother hen to her quirky, eccentric co-workers (Ericka Roe, Shauna Higgins, and newcomer Lauren Larkin, all great fun).

Anderson, so loathsome as the volatile ex-husband in Phyllida Lloyd’s awardwinning 2020 drama Herself, continues his string of unlikable screen characters as the dim but diabolical Deano. Victoria Smurfit turns up as Michelle’s old Ahh Hair nemesis, Pippa, and Louis Lovett has a merry old time as D’Logan Doyle, the sort of self-absorbed celebrity hairstylist who comes with his own introductory, and incredibly self-indulgent, rap number. The world of hairstyling belongs to D’Logan Doyle’s, and don’t you forget it — because he sure won’t let you.

The black-comedy elements could have been darker and sharper (no pun intended), but as an unabashed crowdpleaser, Deadly Cuts offers a frothy, pleasant diversion. It moves along at a nice pace, and even if the outcome of the competition is never in doubt, there’s a sassy sweetness to the proceedings that’s hard to resist.

— Deadly Cuts is available on iTunes, Apple TV, Google Play, Microsoft, Rakuten, Sky Store, Amazon, Volta, and IFI@Home. !

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riter/ director Rachel Carey’s awardwinning feature debut, Deadly Cuts, is a colorful, good-natured black comedy, a “chick flick” and Mark Burger an underdog story — although it’s not entirely surprising Contributor how it all turns out.

Set in the working-class town of Piglinstown — insert your own joke here, because the characters do it early and often — this fluffy Irish confection details the goings-on at Deadly Cuts, the resident beauty salon, owned and operated by Michelle (Angeline Ball). The members of the staff are eager to participate in the annual Ahh Hair competition, which recognizes the top hair salon in the United Kingdom, but Michelle — who has a history with the competition — isn’t necessarily stoked. Indeed, she’d rather not participate at all.

There are, however, hurdles to overcome. The first is Deano (Ian Lloyd Anderson), a thug in a white tracksuit who demands protection money from local merchants but tends to terrorize them anyway. The other is Darren Flynn (Aidan McArdle), an obnoxiously officious local politico — replete with bad comb over — whose response to Deano’s threats is to close all businesses in the neighborhood, starting with Deadly Cuts, and sell the property to a big developer.

The first hurdle is overcome when Deano barrels into the salon and begins assaulting Michelle and the girls. This proves to be a fatal error for Deano, both figuratively and literally. With Deano gone, Flynn only accelerates his plans to close Deadly Cuts, so their only hope is to win the Ahh Hair competition.

With its cheeky humor and salty (but amusing) language, Deadly Cuts is something of a big-screen sitcom. The personal lives of the characters are only sketchily depicted, but the performances give it a big boost.

First and foremost is Ball, fondly remembered for her debut as teen dream Imelda Quirke in Alan Parker’s 1991 clas-

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Ball of fire: Leading lady brings edge to Deadly Cuts

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[NEWS OF THE WEIRD] OOPS!

What do you get when you cross spring picture day, a green screen background and St. Patrick’s Day? Completely memorable elementary school photos, of Chuck Shepherd course! At Sugar Grove Elementary School in Center Grove, Indiana, picture day happened to fall on St. Patrick’s Day, United Press International reported. And no kid wants to get pinched on the saint’s special day, so many kids were dressed in green. One problem: Inter-State Photography used green screens, like those used on TV weather broadcasts, behind the kids, so many of them “disappeared” in the initial proofs. Amanda Snow said her son’s green hoodie turned into a fence, and “he had a green mohawk, but that is completely gone. ... It ended up being just a hilarious fiasco,” she said. The photo company said the issues will be fixed on the final photos, but Snow hopes not: “I might reach out to the company and see if I can get the unedited ones, because honestly, they’ve brought me so much joy and laughter over the last day,” she said.

ANIMAL ANTICS

Step aside, Punxsutawney Phil. Mojave Max, a 33-year-old desert tortoise, sees your predictions of spring and calls them with a dramatic yearly emergence from his burrow in Las Vegas, Nevada. According to KSNV-TV, Max lives at the Las Vegas Springs Preserve, where he is the official mascot for the Clark County Desert Conservation Program. Every year, he marks the beginning of spring by making his way out of his burrow when his internal clock and the longer daylight hours tell him to do so. This year, Max peered out on March 26 at 12:21 p.m. Of course, Max’s interpretation of “spring” is hyperlocal: It was 93 degrees in Las Vegas on March 26.

RECURRING THEMES

At least this wannabe traveler didn’t need help with his luggage. On March 29, an unidentified man scaled the barbedwire fence at Midway Airport in Chicago and approached a private jet that had been cleared for takeoff, CBS News reported. As he tried to stall the plane, he removed his shirt, shoes, jacket and pants.

Police said he appeared to be intoxicated.

He jumped up on a wing of the plane; the pilot, in contact with air traffic control, said, “He’s right here at the front of the

YES! WEEKLY

APRIL 6-12, 2022

jet. He’s trying to get in. Our door is open here.” Chicago police apprehended him and took him to a local hospital for a mental evaluation. The plane eventually took off.

LEAST MATURE CRIMINAL

In Warren, Ohio, police responded to robbery call with a twist straight out of elementary school. As a 22-year-old man walked along a road late on March 27, a man wearing a ski mask approached him and asked if he was a drug dealer.

When the victim said he was not, the robber allegedly pulled out a knife and demanded money, WKBN-TV reported.

After the thief got about $80 from him, he made the victim “pinkie promise” that he wouldn’t call the cops, then rode off on a bicycle. The police have not located the pinkie promise perp.

THE CONTINUING CRISIS

Christopher Whetstone, 41, was arrested March 29 after authorities carrying out a search warrant at his home in Temecula, California, found two rocket launchers and a practice grenade in a trash can, National Public Radio reported. He was charged with grand theft, although it’s unclear whether the charges are related to the discarded heavy artillery items. Riverside County Sheriff’s Department Sgt. Edward Soto said narcotics and a bazooka also were found in the home, which is adjacent to a middle school.

SWEET (OR SAVORY?) REVENGE

When Alisha Moy, 20, and Jordan Cobbold, 21, broke it off after just a few weeks of dating, Moy was ready to move on. But Cobbold, apparently, was not, Metro News reported on March 31. A couple of weeks after they met, Cobbold suggested he take a key to her flat in Suffolk, England, which raised red flags for her. “I remember calling my mum because I was worried about it,” she said. After she messaged him to break it off, she returned home from work to find “something wrong” in her apartment. “He’d pulled my shoes out of the little cloakroom and poured beans and spaghetti in there. There were condiments splattered all over the walls and cooking sauce poured all over my vacuum cleaner,” she said. Cobbold had cut the cords to all her brand-new electrical appliances. Damage was estimated at about $2,000; police arrested him a few days later and he was fined, given community service and a restraining order. !

© 2022 Chuck Shepherd. Universal Press Syndicate.

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

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trip up

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Listen every Sunday at 9 AM for WTOB’s Small Business Spotlight.

Hosted by Josh Schuminsky, you will learn about the many small, locally-owned businesses in the Winston-Salem area.

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Culture Pins: Designer creates pop culture influenced enamel pins and cards

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randi Silver never thought she’d be making pins and cards with funny phrases and that celebrated pop cultural icons via Pin & Proper.

Chanel Davis In fact, Silver never even wanted Editor her own business.

She was looking for one pin to honor her father’s memory.

When she couldn’t find it, she decided to make it.

“My dad passed away in 2015, and I needed to keep busy. I had started collecting enamel pins from all over the Internet. At this time I was looking for a Tupac pin. I am a major fan, and the song “Keep Your Head Up” was playing on the way to my dad’s service. I felt like it was a message,” Silver explained. “I was finding pins that said they were Tupac but it was actually Nate Dogg. Random, weird stuff but people were buying them.”

Born in Charlotte, but claiming Rocky Mount as home, Silver graduated from North Carolina Agricultural and Technical

YES! WEEKLY

APRIL 6-12, 2022

State University with a degree in Fashion Merchandising and Design. For the last 15 plus years, she’s been working in the apparel industry and has held positions at Kontoor, VF Corporation, and Hanesbrands.

She decided to do some research and realized that with some help from Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop, and the right manufacturer, she could create exactly what she was looking for.

“That’s pretty much what I’ve done in my career in fashion. Working with companies overseas, manufacturers, sketching, sending stuff off with specs and measurements,” Silver said. “So I decided to take the leap and make my own pin the way that I wanted and that’s how the business started. I didn’t want a business. I was just collecting pins. The minimum order was 100 pins but what was I going to do with 99 pins? I just wanted one.”

She ended up creating an Etsy page to, as she describes it, “toss the rest of the pins up there and call it a day.”

That was in 2017. When the now 38-year-old just needed a creative outlet.

“I wanted a pin that I couldn’t find so I decided to create it myself,” she said.

Fast forward five years, the need to

PHOTO BY ASHLEIGH CRAWLEY

fulfill her “one” request has grown into a full-blown Etsy Shop, Pin & Proper

by Brandi Silver, and has garnered the attention of national box stores, such as Target, and national media outlets like BuzzFeed and PopSugar. With pins and cards featuring everyone from Nipsey Hussle, Fran Drescher, Beyonce, Prince to The Golden Girls, Silver has made her

mark and captured the culture in the past few years.

“I didn’t expect 5 years later for this to be a thing. I didn’t really expect anybody to really buy a pin,” Silver said. “I felt like collecting pins was something a small group of people did. I didn’t think it would be as big as it is but I’m very grateful that it is.”

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Grateful, indeed.

In August 2019, Silver’s job was eliminated. She applied for jobs all over the country, even willing to relocate as far away as California, but received no replies. One day a discouraged Silver received a message from a former coworker to let her know that she and her works were featured on the pop culture website PopSugar.

“One of my Lizzo coaster sets was featured and I had no clue,” she said. “It had probably been up there for a couple of weeks at that point. The coasters had sold out but I didn’t know it was because it had been featured on PopSugar.”

While Silver was excited about the success, she didn’t put too much weight into the feature. She actually prepared herself for the worst. Still unemployed, running out of unemployment and now with the world shutting down due to the pandemic, she chalked up the “loss” of her business to COVID. “I just thought ‘well, there goes my business.’ People don’t have jobs right now and we don’t know what’s going on. Nobody’s going to buy a pin or buy a card,” Silver said. “They’re using their little extra money towards food, gas, and keeping the lights on.”

Instead, the exact opposite happened.

Pin & Proper had its biggest and best year yet in 2020. Silver’s creative outletWWW.YESWEEKLY.COM

turned-business garnered so much business it caught the attention of folks at the national retailer, Target. She received a message from them in January asking if she was interested in the store’s virtual 2021 Black History Month Showcase.

Silver initially thought she was being pranked.

“Target is my favorite store ever. I’m in there constantly and they know me at all three of the Targets here in Greensboro,” she said. “I asked her to confirm she was from Target. She had a target email address but people prank and scam all day long. I asked her how did she know me and she went on to say we’ve been discussing your business and so on.”

After having the representative send her links and information, Silver decided that the outreach was indeed legit and continued to hear them out. She said she was shocked that someone from Target had found her on Etsy and decided to reach out.

“It was myself and one other Aggie that was up there at the same time.

The store offers a lot of leadership and entrepreneurship programs throughout the year to help people get into Target or just help with their business in general,” Silver said of her experience. “I still can’t believe that someone from Target reached out to me.”

While unemployed during 2020, Silver

Brandi Silver, Founder of Pin & Proper was able to put her all into her business.

Since she started working again in March 2021, she’s had to slow things down a bit.

“Business is still great but now it’s limited to nights and weekends. I am packing and shipping at the post office.

It’s just me so I don’t really travel much because I have to get these orders out. If I go somewhere, like a vacation, I have to come back to shipping orders,” she said.

In the past five years, Pin & Proper’s collection includes pins, cards, keychains, buttons, stickers, mugs, coasters, and even a throw pillow or two.

Silver has always been crafty, often making handmade greeting cards for friends and loved ones when she could find the time. A growing need to focus

PHOTO BY ASHLEIGH CRAWLEY

on work and life forced her to slowly cut down on the time that she would commit to that talent. However, once that one pin was up, she started to think that perhaps she could add some cards, as well. Her biggest sellers are Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day cards.

“I would hand-make greeting cards for friends and family and then would sell them in packs around the holidays,” she said. “If I gave them a birthday card, anniversary card, or whatever, friends and family would ask ‘did you make this?’

That’s always a question.”

Silver said that began realizing that some people are just “card people.”

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FROM PAGE 13

“I have a sorority sister that has kept every card that she’s gotten in her life.

There are people like that. I’m not like that but there are people out there like that,” she said.

With a few tweaks.

“Instead of hand making them, do the artwork and have them printed. Nothing customizable but I try to come up with quirky cards,” she said. “They would either be in stock or they wouldn’t, and people like them.”

For someone who designs and is creative all day, the pins and cards give Silver an opportunity to express her creativity her way. A fan of R&B and Hip-Hop music, pop culture, and classic television shows, Silver’s quick wit, deck of puns, and mental jukebox of song lyrYES! WEEKLY

APRIL 6-12, 2022

ics comes across in her creations.

“I don’t have handcuffs, where at work I do. We have costs, we only do this amount of styles or this isn’t our customer. There were always guidelines,” she said. “If I walk into Hallmark, nine times out of 10, I’m not going to see a Tupac card or a Mary J. Blige ‘What’s the 411?’ card. I try to create things that I don’t think are necessarily represented as much.”

In the Pin & Proper world, Silver gets an opportunity to pretty much do whatever she wants.

“Ideas just come through. I get a lot of ideas being in the apparel industry, I love colors and picking colors. I can do my own thing at my own pace, which I love.

If it sells, it sells. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t.”

Silver credits a huge part of her success to her Etsy site. She said that branched

out at one point, paying for a website for six months and “didn’t get one hit.”

“Etsy has been great to me. There are people there just looking for things. They don’t have to know me, know what Pin & Proper is or anything about Greensboro,” she said. “They just have to type in a word, and if it’s something that I have, it will pop up.”

A business model that has paid off for Silver time and time again, causing her to be labeled a 5-star seller on the platform.

“I’ve sold to people out of the country and within the country. Ninety percent of the people who buy from me, I have no clue who they are,” she said. “If you can make it, somebody is going to buy it. It may not be 100,000 people, but you can find the group of people that want it.”

No matter how much success Sil-

ver achieves with her business, it still surprises her that anyone recognizes her and her brand.

“As far as I’m concerned, I’m this person that’s just doing my own little thing.

So when people reach out, I ask, ‘how do you even know me? I am still just a plain Jane, working 9 to 5, and I do this on the side. I still have a little Etsy page, and I’m still the same ol’ Brandi. But, you know, things are getting bigger for me.”

To shop with Pin & Proper visit: Etsy: www.etsy.com/shop/PAPERbyBrandi Facebook and Instagram: PinAndProperByBrandi !

CHANEL DAVIS is the current editor of YES! Weekly and graduated from N.C. A&T S.U. in 2011 with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications. She’s worked at daily and weekly newspapers in the Triad region.

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Whose legacy?: Opposition to renaming of historic homes dropped A High Point community organization no longer wants to preserve the name of a demolished public housing complex and the man it was named after.

Until recently, the group Daniel Ian McDowell Brooks Keepers of the Name opposed calling a new mixedContributor income housing complex “Legacy Ridge.”

The group’s Change. org petition collected 490 signatures requesting that Laurel Street Residential, the Charlotte-based developer planning new units at the intersection of West Avenue and Henley Street, name that property after educator and Methodist minister Rev. Daniel Brooks.

Brooks, who was born in 1837 and died in 1933, was one of High Point’s respected Black elders and served multiple terms as a commissioner for city schools. In 1910, he negotiated the land sale that would become William Penn High School. Eight years after his death, the Black-only public housing built by the city at 1410 West Avenue was christened Daniel Brooks Homes. Those homes were demolished in 2019 to make way for a new development.

Rev. Angela Roberson, pastor of Congregational United Church of Christ, told YES! Weekly that the organization canceled its petition upon learning that Brooks, born a freedman of color in Cleveland County, voluntarily enlisted in the Confederate Army.

Roberson said that, until the end of last week, she believed he was drafted.

“We decided to pull our petition,” said Roberson on Friday. “The family narrative is that he was conscripted, but the History Museum informs us that he volunteered.”

Roberson said that, with this revelation, support for the petition has stalled in her community.

“The High Point Museum said they got a lot of questions about Daniel Brooks in light of our efforts, and that he volunteered. I don’t want to get in a public fight about why he did it. Who knows what narrative he had or was encountering in Cleveland County where he was born? But in light of all that’s transpired, particularly since Charlottesville, this is not going to go over.”

Brooks was born into a settlement of wealthy Cleveland County landowners. At least, that’s the date given in “Negro elder has been preaching gospel over half a WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM

century and is still at it,” a 1925 High Point Enterprise article by Sara Alderman, which describes its subject thusly: “Elder Daniel Brooks, colored pastor of the Methodist Episcopal Church, was not a slave, but he was living in the days of war and misunderstanding between the states.

He saw High Point in its infancy, born in 1837 in Cleveland County, enlisted in the Confederate army at the age of 20, went into the ministry after the war, and spent a great part of his years of service in the church in this city.”

If Brooks were born in 1837, he would have been 20 in 1857. The Confederate Army was formed in 1861. This inconsistency could not be addressed in any historical document by press time.

Professional and amateur historians debate how many Black men actually “fought for the Confederacy,” with disagreement extending to what that phrase means. This controversy is the subject of historian Kevin M. Levin’s Searching for Black Confederates: The Civil War’s Most Persistent Myth, published by the University of Chapel Hill Press. In it, Levin argues that “Black Confederates” invariably fall into two categories: a few thousand slaves pressed into service, and a much smaller number of Black freedmen who enlisted.

Individual slaves either accompanied their masters in the field or were rented as mass labor. On the rare occasion they were given weapons, they faced being shot by the white men behind them if they didn’t fire at the ones in front of them. While white troops faced the same penalty for not firing on the enemy, they

were rarely if ever threatened until they refused. Temporarily armed slaves often had Confederate guns pointed as they were ordered to aim at Union troops.

Black freedmen could and did enlist, but were rarely given weapons.

“I didn’t use a gun the whole time,” the 1925 article quoted Brooks as saying. “Some of the time I cooked for the officers.” He also described working road construction behind the lines.

The article described Brooks being furloughed, then called back into service and sent to Wilmington to build more roads for the Confederate Army, for which he was paid a flat sum of $22, the amount slave owners were given for making slaves do the same work. He worked on crews building Fort Fisher, before moving inland to what the article describes as “the last skirmish in North Carolina,” cutting trees for makeshift bridges to aid the retreat of Johnston’s forces from Sherman’s inexorable advance.

The article describes Brooks as leaving the Confederate Army on May 28, 1865.

It does not describe where or when he joined the ministry but states his first pastorate was in Oxford, NC, and that he “then spent one year a few miles south of Greensboro” before moving to High Point.

The article ends by quoting Brooks: “I never had an education so I made sure my children would get one.”

According to the High Point Museum, in 1940, the City of High Point received a 1.7 million dollar loan from the U.S. Housing Administration. That subdivision of the Department of the Interior was created by the Housing Act of 1937 as part of the

New Deal, to lend money to the states or communities for low-cost construction.

The purpose of the loan was to clear slums and construct 450 standardized modern apartments. The 250-unit Clara Cox Homes, located on the present site of Park Terrace Apartments near East Russell Avenue, was white-only. Daniel Brooks Homes, built near Penn-Griffin School for the Arts, was for AfricanAmericans.

In 2001, Daniel Brooks Homes were listed for possible inclusion on the Register of Historic Places. Instead, it fell further into disrepair, resulting in the relocation of over 200 families when it was demolished in 2019.

The High Point Housing Authority website states under its “Future Development” tab that “HPHA received approval from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) to demolish and dispose of the primary site at the Daniel Brooks Homes community,” and that this, “along with the previously approved $6.5 Housing Bond that the HPHA has secured from the City of High Point, will allow for the construction of new affordable housing on the site.”

The city’s fiscal year 2020-2024 Consolidated Plan, published June 15, 2020, stated that HPHA “will replace these units with 264 tax credit units in a three-phase development.”

On Feb. 12, 2022, a staff report in the High Point Enterprise reported a “new affordable housing development on the site of the former Daniel Brooks Homes complex will be called Legacy Ridge” and that “the first phase of the new community will consist of 100 units that will be targeted for rental to family households who earn up to 60% of the area median income.”

A week later, Roberson began the petition drive she ended Friday.

When she reached out to YES! Weekly to inform us that the petition was canceled, she emphasized that the organization is not criticizing the man whose name they are no longer lobbying to retain on the upcoming private housing development that was formerly public.

“After the Civil War, two things happened. One, he had a come to Jesus moment and became a preacher, and two, he spent his life trying to educate Black people. In theological language, we call that redemption.” !

IAN MCDOWELL is the author of two published novels, numerous anthologized short stories, and a whole lot of nonfiction and journalism, some of which he’s proud of and none of which he’s ashamed of.

APRIL 6-12, 2022

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[FACES & PLACES]

by Natalie Garcia

Vintage Inspired Spring Fashion Show @ Vintage To Vogue Boutique 4.2.22 | Downtown Greensboro

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hot pour PRESENTS

[BARTENDERS OF THE WEEK | BY NATALIE GARCIA] Check out videos on our Facebook!

BARTENDER: Priscilla Lemus BAR: I formally worked at Santa Fe Mexican Grill but just started at Electric Tequila.

1st Annual Trans Pride Festival 4.2.22 | Winston-Salem

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AGE: 22 WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

I am a Latina who was born in Houston, Texas and moved to North Carolina at such a young age.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN BARTENDING?

I have been a bartender for 2 year at a Mexican restaurant, Santa Fe Mexican Grill.

HOW DID YOU BECOME A BARTENDER?

At the time that I applied to be a bartender, I was working as a nursing assistant. I was looking forward to learning how to make drinks just for fun, so I applied at Santa Fe and luckily they welcomed me in without any experience and I was thankful for the opportunity they gave me to grow with them. I am still in the process of learning but I loved that I can make money while learning something that interest me.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY ABOUT BARTENDING?

Growing up I was a shy person and, of course, when I was working at the hospital you always have to act professional at all times. But when I started working at the bar for the first time, I felt like I could be myself and I could express myself however I wanted and I noticed that most of my customers liked my personality, and for the first time I felt accepted the way I was. Also while bartending, I was making good money and I loved that because I could help my family and at same time I could spoil myself and pay for my school. It made me very independent and I loved that I did not have to depend on any guy to buy me anything because I could afford what I wanted.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE DRINK TO MAKE?

If you like grapefruits you should try Cantaritos.

It’s a very popular and delicious cocktail originally from Mexico.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE DRINK TO DRINK?

I usually drink tequila straight, Don Julio añejo.

I also really like Palomas/Cantaritos.

WHAT WOULD YOU RECOMMEND AS AN AFTER-DINNER DRINK?

After dinner I recommend you to try a Mudslide cocktail. It’s a very tasty dessert. Think of it as a milkshake that would give you a buzz at the same time. I know, sounds delicious.

WHAT’S THE CRAZIEST THING YOU’VE SEEN WHILE BARTENDING?

One night, while I was working on my normal weekend shift, it was busy as usual and I had been working all day nonstop. While I was running around the bar trying to give every customer my individual attention, I did not noticed one of my tables had left without paying! So that night I had to take money out of my tips to pay for that check.

I think it’s crazy how people can really do that to us bartenders because we get paid less then minimum and we work hard for the tips that costumer give us. I believe people don’t ever know what we go through till they work as a server.

WHAT’S THE BEST TIP YOU’VE EVER GOTTEN?

One night me and my coworker, that I was working with at that time, both left home with a $600 dollar tip. It was a long day at work but it was so worth it after the day was done and we both split the money evenly, and seeing that our hard work really paid off.

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Whiskey Cove @ Electric Tequila 4.1.22 | Greensboro

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ROAR

4.2.22 | Winston-Salem

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tunes

HEAR IT!

The return of Ziggy’s

T

he infamous Ziggy’s concert venue returns, bringing “roots, rock, reggae” to a huge outdoor stage, as part of the COHAB campus in High Point.

Katei Cranford Officially known as “Ziggy’s.Space,” the enterprise has Contributor been affectionately dubbed “Ziggy’s 3.0” by marketing and bar manager, Greg Gerald.

And while the club officially opened on April 1, he’s not fooling around.

“Just be nice,” Gerald said of his philosophy, invoking a questionably-intentional Road House reference.

“And make sure the beer is cold,” he added, espousing an outlook honed over the years behind various bars — including the second incarnation of Ziggy’s (or “Ziggy’s 2.0”), which he credits with launching his career.

“I feel like I spent every day in that building, from 2011 to 2016,” Gerald said of the space now occupied by the Ramkat (at the corner of Ninth and Trade St. in WinstonSalem). “I remember plenty of hard work, and I made so many new friends and saw too many great bands to count.”

He also remembers his first experience with Ziggy’s itself (much like any TriadWWW.YESWEEKLY.COM

raised music lover, millennial and older) happening as a teenager at the “OG’’ Winston-Salem location on Baity Street. “I loved going there in high school,” he said, recounting memories of watching Slipknot and Deftones grace the patchwork stage.

This writer recalls a more punk flair: Misfits, NOFX, Less Than Jake; and local loves like Englewood Ska Quartet, in the den that operated from the late-1980s through the fall of 2007.

Gerald hopes to recapture some of that experience. “We want to make the area a fun and safe place where people of all ages can come help us share our love of live music,” he said, turning to Ziggy’s new chapter, anchoring nearly 45,000 ft. of the COHAB compound, a showroomarthouse-event space hybrid on the grounds of the historic former Melrose Hosiery Mill No. 1 in High Point’s West End. The venue itself is outdoors, situated in the courtyard of a furniture showroom — with an opening to coincide with the Spring Furniture Market — appropriate for the city known as the “Furniture Capital of the World” and befitting a new era for both Ziggy’s and High Point, in general.

Longtime Ziggy’s owner, Jay Stephens, leads the cadre of folks in the “Ziggy’s Family,” who hope to bring “plenty of new faces” to the city. A more intimate, 150-seat nightclub component adjacent to the courtyard (think “Pulp” to Asheville’s “Orange Peel”) is planned for 2023.

Jay Stephens and Greg Gerald But first, Ziggy’s.Space starts off big: with a 1,500-capacity outdoor stage that will operate rain or shine, thanks to large tents and pre-planned logistics. “You can plan a pretty picnic, but you can’t predict the weather,” Gerald said, with a nod to Outkast, and memories of outdoor shows Ziggy’s 2.0 hosted for artists like Snoop Dog, Jamey Johnson, and Blackberry Smoke — the last of which makes their Ziggy’s return with a show on April 22.

“Jay has 30 years and too many shows to mention,” Gerald reiterated of the experience behind the operation. “We’ve developed great relationships through the years with music agencies,” he added, with particular excitement at hosting Daughtry on May 11. Edwin McCain plays April 21.

Puddle of Mudd is coming May 20.

Old friends and cover series will celebrate the opening, with the Winston-based Dave Matthews tribute duo, Watchtower, playing a free show every Tuesday in April. The slated “Dead in the Garden” series brings deadhead delights to Wednesday nights; with Long Strange Deal on April 6 and Deelin’ Dead on April 13. Cosmic Charlie will host a special 420-edition show on April 20, and Josh Daniel will appear on May 4.

The Tree of Forgiveness Band, a John Prine tribute (featuring members from Time Sawyer, Big Daddy Love, Mood Cultivation Project, Camel City Yacht Club, Reeves House Band, and Heavy Peace)

play April 9. The Camel City Yacht Club will return in earnest (with Couldn’t Be Happiers) on April 29.

A full spring schedule is available online.

Gerald is goaling for 70 shows through October — the plan is to build “a fun place for lovers of music,” he said. “I’ve always thought it to be very important to make sure you keep lots of new faces coming through the gates.” And at Ziggy’s.Space, he’ll use a bus to help them there.

“The idea is to work with local promoters and friends to coordinate key pickup and drop-off locations,” he explained of the Ziggy’s.Space Shuttle, a graffitied school bus at their disposal. Details are still in the works, but they’re partnering with Prime Parking Incorporated to offer free shuttle and valet.

At the end of the day, “I want an environment where everyone feels welcome,” Gerald said, looking ahead, “and to just keep doing bigger and bigger shows for the great people of the Triad. I’ve been here my whole life, and I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

“It’s great watching my musician friends turn into stars,” he added. “Come see us.”

Pull up a chair (or a barstool), Ziggy’s.

Space is now open at 1547 West English Road in High Point. !

KATEI CRANFORD is a Triad music nerd who enjoys spotlighting artists and events.

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Submissions should be sent to artdirector@yesweekly.com by Friday at 5 p.m., prior to the week’s publication.

Visit yesweekly.com and click on calendar to list your event online. home grown music scene | Compiled by Austin Kindley

ASHEBORO

Four Saints Brewing

218 South Fayetteville St. | 336.610.3722 www.foursaintsbrewing.com Thursdays: Taproom Trivia Fridays: Music Bingo Apr 9: Love & Valor

Charlotte

Bojangles Coliseum

2700 E Independence Blvd | 704.372.3600 www.boplex.com Apr 8: Brian Regan Apr 9: No Remorse Comedy Tour Apr 15: Harlem Globetrotters Apr 15: Tim Dillon

CMCU Amphitheatre former Uptown Amphitheatre 820 Hamilton St | 704.549.5555 www.livenation.com Apr 20: Modest Mouse

The Fillmore

1000 NC Music Factory Blvd | 704.916.8970 www.livenation.com Apr 6: Mammoth WVH & Dirty Honey Apr 7: The Far Side (Imani, Fatlip, & Slimkid3) Apr 7: Black Tiger Sex Machine Apr 8: Chris Renzema Apr 9: Wizard Fest Apr 10: Jerry Cantrell Apr 12: JOHNNYSWIM Apr 13: Mt. Joy Apr 14: Badflower

PNC Music Pavilion 707 Pavilion Blvd | 704.549.1292 www.livenation.com Apr 30: Jimmy Buffet

Spectrum Center

333 E Trade St | 704.688.9000 www.spectrumcentercharlotte.com Apr 8: Bon Jovi Apr 11: John Mayer

clemmons

Village Square Tap House

6000 Meadowbrook Mall Ct | 336.448.5330 www.vstaphouse.com | www.facebook. com/vstaphouse Apr 7: JVC Apr 8: Kwik Fixx ROcks Apr 9: Jill Goodson YES! WEEKLY

April 6-12, 2022

durham

Carolina Theatre

309 W Morgan St | 919.560.3030 www.carolinatheatre.org Apr 8: Vir Das’ Manic Man Apr 9: Kountry Wayne Apr 14: Steve Hackett Apr 16: Tommy Emmanuel

DPAC

123 Vivian St | 919.680.2787 www.dpacnc.com Apr 6: 2CELLOS Apr 7: Letterkenny Live Apr 8: Brit Floyd Apr 9: Brian Regan Apr 13: Postmodern Jukebox Apr 14: Trey Kennedy

ELKIN

Reeves Theater

129 W Main St | 336.258.8240 www.reevestheater.com Fourth Thursdays: Old-Time Jam Apr 8: Ward Davis Apr 9: Tinsley Ellis Apr 15: Luke Mears Band

greensboro

Common Grounds

602 S Elm Ave | 336.698.388 www.facebook.com/CommonGroundsGreensboro Apr 12: MG Bailey

Cone Denim

117 S Elm St | 336.378.9646 www.cdecgreensboro.com Apr 7: Key Glock Mar 19: Steel Panther

Flat Iron

221 Summit Ave | 336.501.3967 www.flatirongso.com Apr 8: Ed E. Ruger w/ Ty Bru, Mr. Rozzi, Kush Tha Rapper Apr 9: Sam Fribush Apr 14: Megan Jean Apr 15: Kenny George Band w/ Seth Williams

Greensboro Coliseum 1921 W Gate City Blvd | 336.373.7400 www.greensborocoliseum.com Apr 9: Katt Williams Apr 8: Harlem Globetrotters Apr 19: Elton John

Little Brother Brewing

2900 Patterson St #A | 336.632.9889 www.arizonapetes.com Apr 9: Dragonforce w/ Battle Beast & Seven Spires

348 South Elm St | 336.510.9678 www.facebook.com/littlebrotherbrew Apr 8: Real Jazz Apr 9: David Childers Apr 15: Elora Dash Apr 16: Chris and Bonnie Reed

Barn Dinner Theatre

South End Brewing Co.

Arizona Pete’s

120 Stage Coach Tr. | 336.292.2211 www.barndinner.com Apr 9-May 7: Crowns

Baxter’s Tavern

536 Farragut St | 336.808.5837 www.baxterstavern.com Apr 9: Company A Apr 10: Gary Lowder & Smokin’ Hot Apr 15: Low Down Dirty Heathens

Carolina Theatre

310 S. Greene Street | 336.333.2605 www.carolinatheatre.com Apr 9: Gregory Amos Apr 15: Lightnin’ Wells Apr 15: A Purple Rain Experience

Comedy Zone

1126 S Holden Rd | 336.333.1034 www.thecomedyzone.com Apr 8-9: Sherman Golden

117B W Lewis St | 336.285.6406 www.southendbrewing.com Tuesdays: Trivia Night Apr 16: Jon Ward Beyle Band Apr 22: Cory Luetjen & The Traveling Blues Band

Steven Tanger Center 300 N Elm Street | 336.333.6500 www.tangercenter.com Apr 6-24: HAMILTON Apr 26: José Andrés

The Idiot Box Comedy Club

503 N. Greene St | 336.274.2699 www.idiotboxers.com Apr 9: Neil Hoover Apr 16: Lucas Gumbrecht Apr 23: JJ Curry Apr 30: Pedro Gonzalez

high point

Ham’s Palladium 5840 Samet Dr | 336.887.2434 www.hamsrestaurants.com Apr 9: 90 Proof Punch Apr 16: After Party Apr 23: Sprockett Apr 30: Shugga Daddies

High Point Theatre

220 E Commerce Ave | 336.883.3401 www.highpointtheatre.com Apr 9: The Rick Webb Family w/ Tim Lovelace Apr 10: Me, Myself, & Shirley Apr 29: Viva Mexico! Viva America!

Sweet Old Bill’s

1232 N Main St | 336.807.1476 www.sweetoldbills.com Apr 7: Matt Walsh Apr 14: Turpentine Shine Trio

jamestown

The Deck

118 E Main St | 336.207.1999 www.thedeckatrivertwist.com Apr 7: Bradley Steele Apr 8: Gipsy Danger Apr 16: Radio Revolver

kernersville

Breathe Cocktail Lounge

221 N Main St. | 336.497.4822 www.facebook.com/BreatheCocktailLounge Wednesdays: Karaoke Fridays: DJ Apr 7: Brother Pearl Apr 8: DJ Mike Lawson Apr 9: DJ Mike Lawson Apr 12: William Nesmith

Kernersville Brewing Company 221 N Main St. | 336.816.7283 kernersvillebrewing.com Thursdays: Trivia

lewisville

Old Nick’s Pub

191 Lowes Foods Dr | 336.747.3059 www.OldNicksPubNC.com Fridays: Karaoke Apr 9: Lasater Union Apr 23: Spindle 45

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LIBERTY

THE LIBERTY SHOWCASE THEATER

101 S. Fayetteville St | 336.622.3844 www.TheLibertyShowcase.com Apr 8: Sammy Kershaw

OAK RIDGE

BISTRO 150

2205 Oak Ridge Rd | 336.643.6359 www.bistro150nc.com Apr 8: Barefoot Modern Acoustic Apr 9: Decades Duo Apr 15: Two for the Road Apr 16: Kris Ferris

RALEIGH

CCU MUSIC PARK AT WALNUT CREEK

3801 Rock Quarry Rd | 919.821.4111 www.livenation.com Apr 23: Jimmy Buffet

LINCOLN THEATRE

126 E. Cabarrus St | 919.831.6400 www.lincolntheatre.com Apr 8: Runaway Gin Apr 9: Steamroom Etiquette Apr 10: Chris Renzema w/ Antoine Bradford Apr 14-15: Futurebirds w/ Illiterate Light Apr 16: Idlewood South: A tribute to the Allman Brothers Band

RED HAT AMPHITHEATER 500 S McDowell St | 919.996.8800 www.redhatamphitheater.com May 7: AJR

PNC ARENA

1400 Edwards Mill Rd | 919.861.2300 www.thepncarena.com Apr 9: Bon Jovi

WINSTON-SALEM

BULL’S TAVERN

408 West 4th St | 336.331.3431 www.bullswsnc.com Wednesdays: Karaoke Apr 9: Supper Break Apr 15: Souljam Trio Apr 16: Jukebox Rehab

EARL’S

121 West 9th Street | 336.448.0018 www.earlsws.com Apr 8: Anna Leigh Band Apr 9: Bully Creason & Damn Fi Know Apr 15: Jesse Ray Carter Apr 16: Megan Doss Band Apr 22: Mighty Fairlanes WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM

FIDDLIN’ FISH BREWING COMPANY 772 Trade St | 336.999.8945 www.fiddlinfish.com Apr 8: Jessie Dunks Apr 15: Chuck Mountain

"Wildly funny!"

The Telegraph

FOOTHILLS BREWING 638 W 4th St | 336.777.3348 www.foothillsbrewing.com Apr 13: Carolina Clay Apr 20: Folkknot Apr 27: Sam Robinson

MIDWAY MUSIC HALL

11141 Old US Hwy 52, Suite 10 | 336.793.4218 www.facebook.com/midwaymusichallandeventcenter Mondays: Line Dancing w/ Denise Apr 8: Sidekix Apr 9: Jimmy Shirley Jr Apr 10: DJ Steve Carter Apr 23: Red Dirt Revival Apr 29: Brett Tolley and Friends Apr 30: Sprockett

MUDDY CREEK CAFE & MUSIC HALL

137 West St | 336.201.5182 www.muddycreekcafeandmusichall.com Thursdays: Open Mic Night w/ Country Dan Collins May 14: The Muddy Creek Players

APRIL 8-10 & 14-17, 2022 A Hanesbrands Theatre 209 N. Spruce St., Winston-Salem

336-725-4001 | LTofWS.org

THE RAMKAT

170 W 9th St | 336.754.9714 www.theramkat.com Apr 6: Henhouse Prowlers Apr 7: 1970s Film Stock, Condado, RUGG Apr 8: The Wormholes, Lofield, The Sun God Apr 9: Travis Williams Group, Chi Sharpe Apr 13: The Ghost of Paul Revere, Daniel Rodriguez Apr 16: Clay Howard & The Silver Alerts, Killing Gophers Apr 21: The Veldt, Candy Coffins, The Mystery Plan

WINSTON-SALEM FAIRGROUND

421 W 27th St | 336.727.2236 www.wsfairgrounds.com May 19-20: Classic Country Concert Jun 17: Classic Country COncert

WISE MAN BREWING

826 Angelo Bros Ave | 336.725.0008 www.wisemanbrewing.com Thursdays: Music Bingo Apr 8: Souljam 80’s Night Apr 9: Zinc May 7: Pure Fiyah Reggae Band Jul 16: Love & Valor APRIL 6-12, 2022

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last call

[THE ADVICE GODDESS] love • sex • dating • marriage • questions

MUZZLE-BOUND

My wife and I got married eight months ago. Whatever I suggest for the apartment — a paint color, a bathroom fixture — my wife immediately dismisses.

Amy Alkon For example, the living room couch she wanted was too huge Advice for the space: a really Goddess awkward, uncomfortable fit. She kept ignoring objective facts about spatial relations — even after I pulled out a measuring tape and drew a schematic of the room. It occurred to me that her wanting it her way and ignoring my ideas are patterns in our relationship. This feels pretty bad. —The Husband There are those of us with special abilities in certain areas. Personally, I have a multi-decade track record in two areas: as a writer and as an automotive moron. (Lift your hood and I’ll identify all the parts: “There’s that round thingie and a bunch of

intestine-esque tube-y thingies...”)

Hiring me to write something (ideally for dump trucks of money) suggests you have fabulous taste and superior intelligence.

Hiring me to fix your car suggests you lack the mental firepower to pick your nose without assistance.

Men and women, in general, have different spatial abilities — in line with the sexual divisions of labor in the ancestral hunter-gatherer world: male hunters tracking and killing animals and female gatherers doing the “grocery shopping” 2 million-ish years before grocery stores.

Psychologists Irwin Silverman and Marion Eals find that women, across cultures, are vastly better than men — even 60 or 70% better — at “object location.” This is the ability to remember an array of objects in a setting, as well as their placement (relative to the other objects) — basically by pulling up a mental snapshot: “Those nice berries by the cliff; poison ivy near the river — by the dead tree where I found those yummo beetle appetizers.”

Men, on the other hand, are significantly better at “mental rotation”: turning a 3-D object around in their mind and predicting how the object would fit in a certain space

— or hurtle through it. This skill allows the outfielder to catch the pop fly, but for Joe Loincloth, being ace at aiming his spear meant his family might dine on wildebeest mignon instead of mealymouthed excuses.

Granted, your wife — like most people — is probably not clued in to the wonders of evolved sex differences in spatial ability.

However, you mention that her unwillingness to listen to you is a pattern in various areas of your relationship. And that’s a major problem.

Being ignored — especially by those who matter most to us — takes a bite out of our dignity. Contrast that with somebody giving us their attention — their full attention (meaning listening like we’re about to tip them off on tomorrow’s winning lotto numbers). They’re telling us they respect us. Whatever we have to say is important for them to hear.

That kind of listening doesn’t just come from the ears. Psychologist Carl Rogers, who used it with his therapy clients, described it as “active listening” and explained: “I hear the words, the thoughts, the feeling tones, the personal meaning, even the meaning that is below the

conscious intent of the speaker.”

Listening deeply like this starts with setting aside the impulse to “win” — to hammer another person with what you believe. Admittedly, that can be a highly successful tactic — if you’re looking to persuade someone to bolt themselves even more tightly to their position.

Listening is a vital element of a healthy relationship — one in which spouses accept each other’s “influence,” explains marriage researcher John Gottman. This means each spouse makes the other a “partner” in their decision-making: respecting and honoring them and their opinions and feelings. For a marriage to thrive, spouses have to “share the driver’s seat.”

For your marriage to have a chance at thriving, your wife needs to see the benefit in acting as a “we” instead of pressing forward as a “me” (with a large piece of husband-shaped luggage). The direct approach — telling her she needs to change — is likely to be a fail, coming off as a threat to her getting her way and thus triggering not change but rebellion. Instead, tell her how you feel. (For example: hurt, disrespected, and embarrassed that your opinions seem of no interest to her.)

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We cordially invite all of you to be a part of our athletic facility, while enjoying the membership savings we offer our established corporate accounts.

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This should evoke her empathy — meaning make her feel bad that you feel bad — which could motivate her to take steps to change (which, by the way, would involve time, practice, and setbacks). Ultimately, she knows being a marital bully is way out of line — assuming her wedding vows didn’t include: “I promise to love, honor, support, blah, blah, blah — uh, providing my husband shuts his complainy yap about having to scale the Couch Alps whenever he wants to grab a beer out of the fridge.” !

GOT A PROBLEM? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com). Follow her on Twitter @amyalkon. Order her latest “science-help” book, Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence. ©2022 Amy Alkon. Distributed by Creators.Com.

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