Maid Closer August 2014

AUGUST'14

Vouchers & Discounts!

Father's day in Kent WIN TICKETS TO CIDER FESTIVAL

Hello, welcome to our 3rd issue. Summer has been absolutely wonderful so far, let's hope it stays sunny for the entire shool holidays and longer...

There's still plenty of festivals you can attend in August, 'Lounge on the farm' in Canterbury in just a couple of days, Faversham Hop Fest and Feast fest at the end of the month, along with endless local events around Kent to keep your chldren or indeed yourselves entertained. The good thing about us being online is that you can take us anywhere :), seaside, coffee shop or your back garden if you like.

This month we have a wonderful giveaway from Brogdale Collections (details on a page 8/9), we interviewed a founder of an inspiring ethical swimwear Ruby Moon, along with articles from our 'resident' contributors and loads of other little reads...if you find some time on your hand, please do write to us, we would love your feedback. Thank you and see you next month.

Mon.

OUR CONTRIBUTORS ABIGAIL CLARKE

OLIVIA ROSE WORTHINGTON SILVI MCMILLAN

EMILY R. COOK

DIANA GIBBINS ALBERTO CONVERSANO

MICHELE MCCLARREN

content

WIN TICKETS TO BROGDALE FARM CIDER FESTIVAL/P.8-9 SUPER NANNY OLIVIA TELLS MAID CLOSER HOW NOT TO STRUGGLE ...P.16-17

P.22

FACTS ON OUR FABULOUS COFFEE P.33

SUBSCRIBE AND A WIN A BAG...P.14 WE TALKED TO JO GODDEN, FOUNDER OF ETHICAL SWIMWEAR RUBY MOON P.24-25

P.30

LOW CARB MUFFINS P.36

INTRODUCING ABIGAIL CLARKE

Hello! To briefly introduce myself, my name is Abi and I live in a qui little townhouse in Rochester where I have resided for the past year with my boyfriend, Daniel. My friends tend to describe me as “kind, a little daft and constantly missing the point” but hey, I’m happy!

I work in the city as an Investment Secretary and the rest of my time is spent trialling new baking recipes and force feeding my boyfriend, giggling with friends and family over endless bottles of Prosecco and seeking new walking/ biking/ coastal adventures at the weekend.

I am currently in the beginnings of starting up a cake business and have my first few wedding jobs lined up this year. Dan has recently left his full time London job to run a videography business from home so it is all happening in our household! Do let us know if you have a wedding, birthday or anniversary coming up and we can offer you a cracking discount!

irky

INTRODUCING EMILY COOK My name is Emily and I am a 21 year old student at the University of Kent. I recently graduated with a First Class BA (hons) in English Language & Linguistics and I will be staying on at the University to do a Linguistics Masters.

I enjoy creative and journalistic writing and hope to become a magazine editor in the future. I am a huge Doctor Who fan, and I am lucky enough to have been offered a Work Experience placement at Doctor Who Magazine.

After visiting street school in Kolkata, India in the summer of 2011, I set up the Kent-based charity ‘Khushi Feet’ (www.khushif eet.org.uk) to raise money and awareness for these schools – one of our fundraising events last year was an attempt to break the world record for the largest Bollywood dance!

I also have a musical side; I play the Saxophone so I love listening to and playing jazz, big band and swing.

Made in Kent...

...YOUR LOCAL

EAT SEASONAL... AUGUST'S BEST COS LETTUCE

Perfect for Caesar Salads!

DRESSING 1 tbsp Dijon Mustard 1 tbsp Lemon Juice 2 tbsp Olive Oil 60ml Yogurt Dash Tabasco Sauce Freshly ground black Pepper & Salt

RASPBERRIES

The diversity of antioxidant and anti-inflammatory phytonutrients in raspberries is truly remarkable, and few commonly eaten fruits are able to provide us with greater diversity.

PLUMS

Certain health benefiting compounds present in the plum fruits, such as dietary fiber, sorbitol, and isatin are known to help regulate the functioning of the digestive system and thereby relieve constipation conditions...

FOR YOUR NEAREST FARMER'S MARKET CHECK OUT:

kfma.org.uk

The Kent Air Ambulance 30km & 100km...

24/08/2014 - Ashford, Kent Charity Ride A charity cycle ride in aid of the KENT AIR AMBULANCE TRUST. Take up the challenge of a 30km (18 mile) or 100Km (62 mile) cycle ride. Riding on good quality roads with a feed station on the 100km route and all finishers will receive a medal.

OUR PRECIOUS BRIGHTON EADER'S LETTER...

R

If you are heading to Brighton this summer,

like thousands of others(& we don't blame you either) park your car at grand avenue f urther down along the seafront, past all the costly car parks, if you lucky to find a spot, it's a fiver for the day! (11 hrs in fact).

Breakfast on the beach, 2 coffees & a couple of sandwiches will set you a £10.

Don't try and resist a drink later on, plenty of 'beach bars' available for you to sip and chill...

Chair hire on the beach is cheap as chips. £2 a day or £4 for a lounger...

It's only a short walk into town,if you doing little bit of shopping or planning to eat.

We opted for tapas at CASA DON CARLOS on Union Street. Very busy and popular, great atmosphere and food, friendly attentive staff and most importantly, lovely tapas!

Amazing day...!!!

Zoe from Bearsted

Please recommend your favourite places to others.Send us pictures and 'letters' from your summer adventures...

ON 23 & 24 AUGUST BROGDALE COLLECTIONS WILL BE A PLACE TO BE!

Festival will offer over 70 DIFFERENT ARTISAN CIDERS AND PERRYS across the weekend ranging from micro producers to some of the larger artisan producers such as the Kent A JUICING COMPETITION will demonstrate how the traditional pulp and press Cider Company .

KENT is starting to make a name for itself as a serious producer of top quality Cider. The small producers in Kent are on the rise and have barrels of new tastes and textures. The main bar will be run by TIDDLY POMME who are based at Brogdale and make their own cider called WOO LLY PIG. Other producers will be running mini bars of their own Cider including the KENT CIDER COMPANY, TURNERS CIDER, BIDDENDEN VINEYARDS AND LONDON GLIDER.

method stands against the strain method of obtaining fresh apple juice. The pulp and press team will be led by PETER EVELEIGH OF HARDWOOD CRAFTS who will be equipped with an electric mill and two manual presses, all of his own fabrication. On the strain team NEVIN STEWART AND CO will put two high performance juicers to the juice and strain task.

GUIDED ORCHARD TOURS OF THE NATIONAL FRUIT COLLECTION will run throughout the

day both by foot and tractor trailer. The collections preserve around 100 different cider apple varieties, all with individual characteristics which contribute to the taste and texture of a cider.

BRODA

LE COL 23-24 A LECTIONS UGUST

A complimentary shuttle bus will run from Faversham Station to Brogdale throughout the day.

THE FESTIVAL FOOD COURT is to include a BBQ, Indian Cuisine, Crepes, Mexican and Twisted Chips. Local produce and crafts will fill the Makers Tent and children will be entertained with games, kite flying, storytelling and creative crafts.

Tickets cost £7.20 on a website or £8 on the door. Family ticket, only £18. www.brogdalecollections.co.uk

COMPETITION BROGDALE COLLECTIONS are giving away a PAIR OF TICKETS to this amazing cider festival.

All you have to do is count how many apples there are in this issue of Maid Closer.

Email your answer to yourstory@maidcl oser.com.

The winner will be announced on 16/08.

Made in Kent...

...A THOUGHT ON

WHAT'S TICKING

by Michele McClarren

We dedicate ourselves to ensuring we find the best jobs, buy the best quality car within our price range including all the bits and bobs, seek the greatest value for money when purchasing our first home, research to find the most affordable loan.

Tick off the checklist to ensure our boyfriend is ideal, forgetting that was our fantasy from Superman - Smallville, we want the best seats in the house when we are out and about, need our friends to be loyal without a doubt.

We want so much of the highest quality, what's all this over reliance on the economy, we fuss and flutter about the latest hair style trends, and get caught up with who's dating the girl from the office called Jen, so focused on dieting and then we over eat again.

Yawning when mum asks "Are you ever gonna settle down", is this not the same question we keep going around, if I had time to stop and think, to truth, my brain would resemble the kitchen sink, this is just too much ....DRINK! Maybe the truth is I need to find time, to dedicate to myself before life chimes, A place of peace, no questions or answers please, today I will put as much effort into me.

PLEASE TAKE OUR HOLIDAY SURVEY NOW. JUST CLICK BELOW.

MADE IN KENT...

GREAT COMP SUMMER SHOW SATURDAY & SUNDAY 9TH AND 10TH AUGUST 2014

02/08 YALDING

We’re excited about this year’s Summer Show – it’s our biggest event of the year and held at a time when the garden is at its peak of colour.

WEDDING FAYRE 25 AUG 2014 Mercure Maidstone Great Danes Hotel A chance to take a look 'behind the scenes'at Chegworth Valley's home farm. Guided tours & juice tastings. For further information on the day & to book your place please click here.

CHEGHWORTH VALLEY Farm open day Sunday 10th August 11am-4pm

Visit the hotel and see a variety of exhibitors just waiting to help you plan your perfect day.

Admission is free and everyone is welcome. We hope you can make it.

... EVENTS IN AUGUST FRIENDS OF LEEDS & BROOMFIELD CHURCHES

LEEDS PICK YOUR OWN PLUMS DURING CALL MIKE ON AUGUST! 01622862916

FEAST FOOD FESTIVAL Feast Festival comes to Mote Park, Maidstone, AUGUST 23RD & 24TH 2014. We will be showcasing food & drink from around the world, with celebrity chefs live!

MEDIEVAL FESTIVAL 23 AUG 2014 - 31 AUG 2014

THIS YEAR IS THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE HOP FESTIVAL, AND WE WILL BE CELEBRATING IT IN STYLE.

30-31/08

WIN A NATURAL COTTON BAG WITH OUR LOGO.

For a chance to win this bag just subscribe to Maid Closer.

To subscribe to Maid Closer please follow this link and never miss another issue again .

www.maidcloser.com

Super nanny Olivia Worthington tells Maid Closer how not to struggle through the summer season.

As the summer sets in and the school bell rings the children who have just spent weeks weltering in the class room run out with glee, letting out a delightful squeal of excitement as they strip off their grass stained frilly socks and make lassos out of their schools ties that were beginning to feel more like nooses. The teachers gobble back their hard earned milk trays as they pop the top off a cold beverage... as they wind in to relax mode the nervous parents wait at the school gates their throats thickening and drops of perspiration gather on their foreheads as they brace themselves for a whole six week of chaos, costs and cleaning.

Childcare is extremely costly these days, but doing it yourself can amount to a pretty large sum also.

It’s estimated that most families spend on average between £300- £450 extra pounds over the summer holiday period on children entertainment.

But when the budget’s tight, how can children be entertained for free?

As a nanny I have become pretty savvy at creating cheap entertainment for children of a variety of different ages and I have realised that most activities can be adapted according to age and ability. In all honesty children are pretty simple, the one thing that they all crave in equal measure is attention.

On top of this they thrive when met with creativity and enthusiasm. So when dealing with children all you need to remember is to be ACE- attentive, creative and enthusiastic.

SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER.... GULP!

Yes they might just be walking along a wall, but meet this simple act with as much enthusiasm as they were walking along the great wall of china on their hands and this simple exercise will be enjoyed time and time again.

That leads me to the next tip about children.

The best way to while away the hours is to keep them engaged in whatever activity they are doing for as long as possible.

Don’t simply tell them to colour, give them a task to keep them interested. Tell them to make a card, challenge them, for example if they can’t write then draw them dots and get them to join them up. This will keep them engaged in the task for longer and they will feel a great sense of achievement for completing something they couldn’t do before.

Children are extremely creative. The best way to entertain children is to think of their level.

Yes, to you and I a blanket draped over the back of two chairs is just making a mess which you will inevitably need to clean up later, but to a child it is a fortress to keeping out scary monsters, it is a haven for them to rule as Queen and princesses over the land, or to plot their next war against the Dragon Kingdom.

By utilising their imagination, even the most menial tasks can be completed with exuberant excitement.

Take cooking dinner for example, put an apron on the child and get them to do it with you, talk them through the process so they feel involved and pretend they are a chef in a top restaurant.

The process might take twice as long but they will be amused and a lot more likely to finish their meal!!

Another great way to make the boring brilliant is to make it in to a competition. This works particularly well when there is more than one child. You aren’t just tidying up the pens, you are having a tidying up the pens race, can you clean up all the pens in under a minute? Ready, steady, gooooo.... and the pens are cleared in double-speed. Drawing on sibling’s competitive nature can be particularly useful when trying to tire them out.

Make them have running races in the garden, or swimming races in the pool. If something is a competition they will try twice as hard at it and for twice as long, and the bonus is the more tired the children become the more relaxation time for you. I like to think of my day as an hour full-on and an hour off, obviously not literally, as the beauty of children is that the only thing you can predict them to be is unpredictable, but if you provide and hour of full, action and enthusiasm then the children will burn themselves out and this will happily be followed by an hour of sedate colouring, vegging or quietly playing (hopefully), but don’t get too comfortable like this as it will only ever be for enough time to recharge their batteries and then the Duracell bunnies will be bouncing off the walls once more.

So there we are.

The best way to handle children over the summer holidays is to be completely and utterly, totally A

CE- ATTENTIVE, CREATIVE AND ENTHUSIASTIC!

ARTIST´S PROFILE

'KENTISH OASTS' BY TIM STEVENS

'I am a Hawkhurst based artist specialising in oil paintings of locally inspired landscape scenes Loving the bright summer colours in the fields between the local villages -with the changing crop colours through the seasons - my latest series of pictures depict Kentish Oast houses in bright summer scenes'

Please contact Tim for further information via stephens1912@btinternet.com or find my collection on facebook at ‘NjS art’ Prices from - £75

AUGUST´S COMPETITION

WE WANT YOUR CHILDREN'S CREATIONS THIS MONTH.

Get your little ones to draw, paint and be creative and then email us their pictures.

Our judging panel will pick the winner and we will publish the artwork on our front page, plus there will be a little surprise for the winner.

Ages 4-11.

Come on, get involved!

TAKE YOUR KIDS...

G N I K N L THI

?

STIL

CYPRUS

FAMI LY FR IE HOTE NDLY LS

GERMANY LONDA HOTEL, LIMASSOL. ULRICHSHOF, MUNICH

Private sheltered beach, complimentary watersports accessories, babysitter on call and free cots for babies!

Wonderful...

Europe's first baby and kinder resort, Activities such as horse riding, organic cuisine, adventure playgrounds, petting zoo and indoor ITALY...

HOTEL MASCAGNI playroom. Loads to do...

ROME Four star charming hotel, perfect Nestled at the foot of the for a break with your bambino. medieval castle of Lippiano, with Kids get free colouring books on postcard-perfect Tuscan views, it arrival, access to games consoles is a magical place for adults and and there's a special menu in the children alike. restaurant for fussy eaters.

There's a sandpit, a trampoline, a lovely playground area and a cool indoor soft play room. Cots, bed rails, highchairs, potties and baby crockery and cutlery are provided.

VILLA PIA, TUSCANY

...take your kids PICK YOUR OWN FLOWERS The Blooming Green flower plot at Loddington Farm near Linton will be open every Friday afternoon, from midday until 5pm for the rest of the summer, through to October 10, 2014. www.bloominggreenflowers.co.uk JOUSTING TOURNAMENTS, August 9/10, 16/17, 23-25 & 30/31, Hever Castle The summer season of jousting tournaments begins. The brave Knights of Royal England return to battle it out at the annual Jousting Tournament. Witness spectacular displays of action, stunts, falls and fights in an authentic arena complete with Royal Box. www.hevercastle.co.uk SUMMER HOLIDAY FAMILY FUN at Buckmore Park Kart Circuit Family Days, 10 & 25 August Buckmore Park Kart Circuit have a variety of Turn Up ‘n’ Drive karting running throughout the summer holidays for various ages from 4 years and over. www.buckmore4kids.co.uk BRITAIN GOES TO WAR:WWI ACTIVITY WEEKEND Take part in wartime activities to commemorate the Great War Centenary with Maidstone Borough Council. Free, drop-in (some activities may incur a small charge).

Please note activities will be from 12.00 - 4.00 on Sunday 10 August.

www.museum.maidstone.gov.uk

HIGH STREET IS GREAT! WE ALL LOVE IT! DON'T WE? But there's thousands of small home based businesses who are trying to break through.

At the moment they do not stand a chance to compete with big retailers.

The cost - can we afford to buy cheap clothes? Is price more important than quality? Would it be worth while if, now and then, say 30% of the time we shop, we shopped at small home based businesses?

Conditions and pay - are they always ethical and legal? Not so!

Can we all start helping each other by buying from each other?

NEXT TIME YOU NEED A GIFT, bag or a bracelet, please consider it!

Maid Closer is on a HAND MADE MISSION! Join in pls...

ESME AND THE SAILOR make unique items to beautify your home.

A collaboration between up-cycled decoupage and button inspired items which can be customised to your own design and stunning paper cuttings by Johnathan which are created as one off bespoke art works.

Home picture ÂŁ7.

Paper cuttings from ÂŁ50

5 TREATS FOR THE SUMMER...

BBQ BONNET HOT CHILLI SAUCE / £3.50 BBQQ Bonnet combines our tangy BBQ Sauce with the heat of the infamous Scotch Bonnet chilli to provide a truly unique and hot BBQ sauce. A great addition to any BBQ or meat dish.

Each bottle contains 150ml.

SPORTS MASSAGE (1/2 HOUR): £25 ''Anyone who does not specifically participate in exercise however in lifestyle activities are using their bodies strenuously such as gardening, mothers with children, stressful and demanding occupations will also greatly benefit from sports and therapeutic massage therapy.''

FUZZY NAVEL - A popular blend of peach schnapps and orange juice with lemonade and a splash of vodka. Fruity and fresh.

Medium Glass Jar Candle 250 g/ £15.

BENECOS CREAMY FOUNDATION is a radiant liquid creamy foundation. Natural ingredients of Organic Shea Butter and Sweet Almond Oil gives your skin moisture and nourishment.

Benecos Creamy Liquid Foundation gives a smooth even coverage with a flawless matte finish. Vegan. £8.9

5

Experience pure luxury with DEEP STEEP'S fastabsorbing, non-greasy DR

Y OIL BODY SPRITZER. Add supreme hydration to your skin with Coconut, Pomegranate, Apricot Kernel and Olive Oils, and awaken your senses with any of five deliciously natural fragrances in the range/ £12.95

INTRODUCING RUBYMOON SWIMWEAR We talked to Jo Godden, it's founder.

1. How would you describe your business in 3 words?

Sustainable, ethical, swimwear 2. What would be the longer description and what is your mission?

We design, make and sell sustainable swimwear to fund women's micro finance in developing nations, because funding women makes fundamental positive change in poor communities.

Our mission is to become the sustainable swimwear brand of choice and invest in thousands of women entrepreneurs around the world. Women helping women.

3. When and how did Ruby Moon begin its life?

2011 we formed a community interest company called RubyMoon Design CIC 4. What do you think of the fashion industry as it is today?

In a word - horrific. We are manufacturing and purchasing four times as many items of clothing than we did in the 1980's. The majority of these garments subscribe to the 'fast fashion' ethos of low quality, fast turnover fodder that ends up in landfill. In the process this exploits the sewers trapped in low wage slave employment and creates serious environmental pollution of water supplies. It simply has to stop.

5. If you had unlimited powers how would you change it?

There are three easy steps to making clothing sustainable, particularly if we continue to manufacture overseas.

A, All workers in the clothing industry must be paid a living wage, not the living wage determined by governments, but one that people can actually live and raise a family on. This does not cost as much as you think it does.

B, All raw materials must be produced and certified as 'clean' in terms of their origin and processes.

Eventually we will be able to use close loop manufacturing whereby we re-use every synthetic and natural fibre again and again.

C, All of the above must be certified by full-time western employees based in the countries of manufacture, and certified independently, without corruption. It's time for retailers and consumers to wake up and take responsibility for the true cost of what we wear.

6. Ruby Moon sells really distinctive and great looking swimwear, do you work with other people on these or do you design yourself?

RubyMoon is a really collaborative business. We work with lots of different people who love what we do. Going forward we have had some wonderful prints given to us by Sarah Arnett, who is a wonderful, imaginative illustrator.

7. Could we expect and look forward to new lines next summer season 2015?

We are working on two new capsule collections called BEACHLUXE and SPORTLUXE. The latter is an exciting watersports and swimsuit line that is receiving a great response. All our materials are recycled and we are extending into beach accessories with another European partner which is truly exciting.We are having a lot of fun with making great products out of materials destined for landfill.

8. Please tell me what your life motto is...

Make a positive difference.

9. And lastly, how can our readers help other women out there create a better life for themselves?

If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. How we spend our money is one of the only ways left we have of making real change.

You may feel despair at times, but small changes you make will make a difference. Buy ethically, or secondhand. And empower women through investing in them as entrepreneurs, as we do through

lendwithcare.org To purchase rubymoon swimwear visit www.rubymoon.org.uk

MAID CLOSER supports handmade & home made products, as well as ethical & fairtrade fashion, accessories and food.

If you would like to support our 'HAND MADE MISSION', please get in touch today.

yourstory@maidcloser.com

FLATS AND PUMPS FOR UNDER £30

ASOS LEVITATE Ballet Flats £28.00

ASOS JESSIE Espadrilles £12.00 Catwalk Collection Brogue Pump E Fit £25.00 M&S COLLECTION Crochet Lace Ballerina Pumps with Insolia Flex® £25.00 PARISIAN CHIC (ROLLASOLES) £11.95

SEA BLUE SEQUINS (ROLLASOLES) £12.95

Forget the heels, be comfy and still look great in these gorgeous feminine flats...

HANDMA DE BABY CLOTHES

FAIRT

RADE TEENA CLOTH GE ES...

ADE M D N HA S LADIE ..

ES. H T O L C

REJUVENATE YOUR SKIN, BODY AND SOUL THIS SUMMER! We are now full swing into the summer season and are all undeniably spending much more of our time outdoors.. but heat, sun cream, late nights and one too many Prosecco picnics are causing underlying havoc on our skin and bodies.

TRY THESE SIMPLE, EASY STEPS AND UPDATE YOUR BEAUTY REGIME TO SUIT THE SUMMER AND SAVE YOUR SKIN! 1. MAKE A HOMEMADE BODY SCRUB

Mix together olive oil and salt in a recycled jar/tub until you have your preferred consistency. Gently scrub all over in circular motions and rinse off. Repeat this 2-3 times each week to loosen up any dead skin cells and unclog pores.

2. AVOID OIL BASED MOISTURISERS AND FOUNDATION

3. ALWAYS CLEANSE AND TONE MORNING AND NIGHT (ESPECIALLY NIGHT!) 4. MAKE SOME DIY COOLING CUCUMBER EYE PADS

After an evening of wine and luxury we tend to wake up to puffy, dull eyes. Try these magic de-puffing eye pads! They are natural and made from cucumber which has cooling properties and is proven to reduce puffiness.

METHOD:

INGREDIENTS/ TOOLS 1 cucumber Knife Blender Strainer Bowl Cotton wool eye pads Zip lock bags

- Remove the cucumber skin, slice the cucumber and blitz in the blender until liquid - Strain the juice into a small bowl and discard any leftover pulp - Dip the eye pads into the cucumber juice and dab off the excess - Place the pads in a zip lock bag and chill in the freezer - Once chilled, lie down and place on the eyes for 20 minutes for tight, awakened eyes!

5

Release the tension and stress in every muscle of your body at Kate Ashley’s Ro oted in Yoga class held at the St George Hotel and other local venues in Roch ester. An hour of Kate’s practice will leave you feeling happy, energised and free of any aches. Follow https://www.facebook.com/RootedInYoga to keep up to date with her timetable and occasional free classes by the castle!

But on screen, they are our dearest friends. Despite their failures, they prove time and time again that they have big hearts and we can’t help but love them.

The talented actors and actresses who brought all our favourite characters to life are far funnier than any modern comedians I have ever encountered. They have numerous commendable qualities, but it is their comic timing in The characters are fools, the set are particular which deserves applause. These actors know exactly faulty, and the graphics are not good. how long to wait for laughs before continuing with their next But classic British sit-coms got comedy line. They know just how long to hold a facial expression. spot on.

They are so in tune with one another that they create the perfect ensemble. This impeccable comic timing can result in physical comedy which is nothing less than hilarious. Basil Modern British television comedy doesn’t make me laugh. It Fawlty’s silly German walk and Del Trotter falling through makes me smile – it may even make me tweet #LOL – but it rarely makes me actually laugh out loud. Comedy dramas are too the open bar flap. Need I say more. I am laughing just often unfunny; the story lines are predictable and the characters thinking about these scenes. are idiots (most of the time). However, go back 30-odd years, replace the idiots with fools and you have one of the best comedy The comedic situations these characters find themselves in are sitcoms ever created. Of course, I’m talking about Only Fools And the work of extremely cleverly crafted story lines. The quality Horses. Only Fools, along with other classic British sitcoms such of the script writing is consistently high in every episode of as Fawlty Towers and The Good Life are still loved in 2014 just as classic sitcoms, and as a result, so is the comedy. Special much as they were in the 70s and 80s. They clearly did something mention should go to the late John Sullivan (writer of Only Fools And Horses) who was a genius at creating scripts full of right. unpredictable twists, satisfyingly bringing a story arc together.

I believe the success of these programmes is down to three things: Often, the story lines spend half an hour building up to the climatic final few moments of an episode. Yet these moments magnified characterisation, impeccable comic timing, and never disappoint. In fact, they are even better on second, third carefully crafted story lines. and fourth viewing.

Classic British sitcoms gave us some of the best loved television characters of all time. However in the nicest possible way, these Yes, classic British sitcoms look dated, but their content is characters are failures. Take Basil Fawlty, although the manager timeless. They are the definition of comedy and will never cease to be funny. Modern British television comedy has not of a respectable hotel, he can never seem to do anything right.

Laughing at his failures distracts us from crying about our own. yet managed to produce anything in the same league, and to be honest, I don’t think it ever will. Luckily, I am more than More than characters, these people are caricatures. They are exaggerated representations of character types we can relate to. happy to watch repeats of Only Fools And Horses, Fawlty Towers and The Good Life over and over again. They distract me In real life, these caricatures would be most frustrating people to from the stress of modern life and absorb me into an audience live with, particularly Margot Leadbetter, the no nonsense prim where no one has time to tweet #LOL because everyone is too busy laughing out loud. and proper suburban housewife par excellence.

ALBERTO'S NUTRITION CORNER...

The power of Greens!

The power of green foods and its healing properties has been recognized throughout history.

What is the common property that all green plants share? Its chlorophyll, the substance that makes plants appear green. Even some citrus fruits contain at least some chlorophyll. The greener the plant, the more chlorophyll there is in it. In a nutshell here are some of the properties and actions of chlorophyll: Purification

Anti-inflammation

Renewal

Stops bacterial growth in wounds, anaerobic yeast and fungi in the digestive tract.

Combats the following inflammations: Sore throat Gingivitis Stomach and intestinal inflammation Ulcers Skin inflammations Arthritis Pancreatitis

Builds blood Renew tissues Counteracts radiation Promotes healthy intestinal flora Better liver function Activates enzymes to produce vitamins

Eliminates bad breath and body odours.

Removes and counteracts drug deposits/toxins and metals from the body; deactivates many carcinogens.

Certain algae, especially the micro-algae spirulina, chlorella and wild-blue green contain more chlorophyll than any other foods.

We will delve deeper into micro-algae analysis in the next article, introducing the unique nutritional advantages and benefits of consuming it.

ALBERTO CONVERSANO is a qualified personal fitness instructor and nutritionist, contact him at albertconv@gmail.com - 07721184391.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DRINK A CUP OF COFFEE? With over 400 billion cups consumed every year, coffee is one of the world's most popular drinks.

2. Coffee berries are picked, dried and stripped down untill all that's left is a green bean. Once shipped, the beans are roasted at around 500FT/260 Celsius.

After a few minutes the bean will 'pop' and double in size. After that, the bean will pop once more and it means the bean is ready to fulfill its destiny.

1. It all started with dancing goats...legend has it...ethiopian sheperd noticed how strange the goats behaved after eating coffee berries.

It takes 42 coffee beans to make an espresso.

HEALTH BENEFITS OF COFFEE Recent research indicates that coffee may not be so bad after all...

- Antioxidants - Coffee may protect against type 2 diabetes - Coffee may help prevent Parkinson's disease - Coffee may lower the risk of liver cancer and liver disease

- 10 minutes - caffeine enters the bloodstream, heart rate and blood pressure begin to rise.

- 20 minutes - increased concentrations, becoming more alert.

- 30 minutes - athletic ability increased - up to 4 hours - fat burning (even when sitting down) - up to 6 hours - feeling good Coffee can take anywhere between 2-12 hours to start wearing off - 12-24 hours widthdrawal symptoms

2-3 cups of coffee is pretty safe and possibly beneficial.

*KEEP IT BLACK. Ths will keep its antioxidant qualities intact. *Go for organic, fair trade coffee. *Consider small local independent cafe before well known coffee shop chains

3. Regular black coffee (without milk or cream) has a very low calorie count. A typical cup of black coffee only contains around 2 calories.

However, if you add sugar and milk, the calorie count can shoot up.

SIDE EFFECTS - when drinking more than 4 cups day: - insomnia - nervousnes - restlessness - stomach upset - fast heartbeat - muscle twitches and spasms - dehydration - headaches

WHAT HAPPENS IN AND AROUND MEDWAY Now in its second year, LOVE SHEPPEY X is an event day aimed at bringing together professional quality artists, crafts people and local community organisations from or relating to Sheppey and the surrounding area.

The event will take place at Barton’s Point Coastal Park on SATURDAY 23RD AUGUST FROM 11AM UNTIL 5 PM. And no matter what the August weather throws at exhibitors, it will all still go ahead, thanks to a weather proof marquee!

ROCHESTER FLEA MARKET 30 AUGUST The flea is a mixture of art/handmade, bric a brac, antiques, furniture, jewellery, vintage, vintage clothes, cameras, records, books etc. as well as delicious Swedish Cakes and Bakes and is held on the last Saturday of the month at the Gordon Hotel in Rochester and entry is FREE. We often have impromptu music and busking too!

ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS The story of Through the Looking-Glass is a real family favourite, following Alice's fantastical adventures in the strange world she enters through the mirror above her drawing-room fireplace.

14 AUGUST/ UPNOR CASTLE BOX OFFICE 0845 450 5157 THE LUNA CINEMA AT THE ROCHESTER CASTLE, 25 & 26 SEPTEMBER.BOOK NOW!

Gladiator & Mama Mia On the banks of the river Medway sits Rochester Castle - a medieval fort boasting a 12th century keep, considered one of the best preserved in the country. The castle grounds will make a wonderful setting to enjoy two nights of cinema under the stars this summer!

WHAT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE ELSE Great food, great music, great times! BIG FEASTIVAL, 29-3 1 AUGUST, KINGHAM, THE COSTWOLDS

A festival of first-class food and topnotch live music, raising funds for the Jamie Oliver Food Foundation. Book now, tickets are selling with the speed of light!

Over the last 11 years, leading female comedy brand Funny Women has searched the length and breadth of the UK and Ireland to find the best new female comic talent.

10 acts will perform in front of a panel of industry judges to decide who will be crowned Funny Women Award winner 2014, and announce the winners of the Comedy Writing and Comedy Shorts Awards

22 SEPTEMBER

3 DAYS - 90 AUTHORS Browse through over 70 events, Literary Walks, a Kidsfest, Workshops, Speed Pitching and Book Bites and plan your visit to the Festival.

CAMDEN BEACH NW1 isn't usually on the list of coastal getaways but, thanks to the ever-creative team at the Roundhouse , 'Camden Beach' is returning this summer with 900 square metres of pseudo-shoreline consisting of 150 tonnes of sand. Till 24 august...

PALEO / LOW CARB CHOCOLATE HAZELNUT MUFFINS

METHOD 1.Heat the oven to 190° and line the muffin tray with cupcake cases.

2.Whisk or beat the eggs well and then stream in the melted coconut oil whilst continuing to whisk.

3.Add salt and vanilla and mix until combined.

4.Add the honey and continue beating.

5.Mix the coconut flour and baking powder in a separate bowl before combining with the wet mixture.

6.Add the water/milk one tablespoon at a time. The coconut flour absorbs the liquid very easily. I usually end up using about 4 tablespoons of water.

7.Mix in the chopped chocolate and hazelnuts, spoon into the cupcake cases and bake for about 15 to 18 minutes. The muffins will be a little golden on top when ready.

This recipe involves coconut flour (my new love!) a little bit goes a long way and it creates fluffy textured muffins!

INGREDIENTS (makes 6-7 muffins)

3 eggs 37g coconut flour 52g melted coconut oil 85g honey 40g dark chocolate with hazelnuts (for ease I bought a bar of dark chocolate with hazelnuts from Aldi’s - good quality and reasonable) 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract 1/2 teaspoon salt 2-5 tablespoons of water (optional replacement: milk or almond milk) 1/2 teaspoon baking powder (gluten free preferred)

Abigail makes beautiful & delicious cakes to order.

Weddings, Birthdays, Anniversaries...

For more info & to order a cake call Abi on 07944832816.

WE WANT YOUR FEEDBACK! LET US KNOW YOUR OPINIONS ABOUT MAID CLOSER. SUGGESTIONS, STORIES OR LETTERS. PLEASE GET INVOLVED BY FILLING IN THE FORM BELOW. THANK YOU!

SEPTEMBER'S ISSUE IS OUT ON 28TH OF AUGUST! INTRODUCING OLIVIA & MICHELE...

THINK ECO..THINK NATURAL..THINK ORGANIC...

HAVE YOU TRIED MEDITATION YET?...

MORE FROM MAID CLOSER'S HAND MADE MISSION...

OUT 28 AUGUST...

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