Youth Magazine Issue 3

Youth

Young.Fun.Free

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Issue 03

In

EDITOR’S LETTER I grew up surrounded by boys all older than me who influenced me and played a big role in part of who I am today. I spent so much time with them that I was naturally influenced by their ways and actions. I behaved like them, sat like them, spoke like them and sometimes even ate like them. I thought we were the same, only the difference was gender.

Gender acts as a category system that places each person in their rightful place.

So whenever they did something and I did the same thing, I was always told “No! You are a girl, girls don’t behave like that; girls don’t come in this late; girls don’t…”

And that is what continues to happen even in this 2020. As a female, you are told how to walk, talk and behave. If you behave a certain way, you are dramatic. If you don’t like cooking and cleaning, you not “wife material”. If you voice your feelings, you emotional, if you dress a certain way, you asking for something. As females, we constantly told where our place is and where we belong. Everyone is trying to tell you who you are and how you should behave without any input from you.

To dismantle these ways, thoughts and stereotypes, this is going to sound cliché but … it starts with the youth. Yes as young people there is already so much pressure on us from both the outside and ourselves to achieve those goals, make that money, get that education and make those dreams come true. So adding this extra “it starts with the youth!” just makes the bag heavier. But it starts with us. If we are not happy with certain ideas and concepts that the world has become accustomed too, we have all the power to edit those concepts for the better. So that when we pass it on to future generations, it’s a representation of equality in every aspect.

When we pass on knowledge to future generations, women won’t just belong in the kitchen, underpaid, overused, emotional, told what to wear, how to act and my favourite “barefoot and pregnant”. When we pass on knowledge to future generations, woman would belong everywhere with no box holding us in or limitations holding us back because woman are the past, the present and the future.

The Women Belong In issue challenges the notion of boxing woman into certain because women are dynamic, powerful and forces to be reckoned Editorscategories latter with.

-Gloria Godwin

CONTENTS 7 Entertainment

14 Exhibition

24 GBV

30 Q&A

48 Reflection Corner

51 Debate

54 Women Belong

58 Contact us

Entertainment August in Mzansi is not just the eighth month of the year, not just the month before September and it’s not even just about the change in season. This is when we celebrate women of every form, in all shapes and sizes, colours and personalities. Now with that said, there’s no pause button for entertainment because it continues to serve, and we are here for it.

https://thatgrapejuice.net/2020/08/ca rdi-megan-thee-stallion-unleash-epic-

On the other side of the world, rapper Cardi B has dropped yet

another hit featuring Megan Thee Stallion titled WAP and it has everyone speaking whether good or bad. With specific focus on the lyrics, haters of this song find it way too sexually explicit and some

have even said that women shouldn’t act in this manner. Both Cardi and Megan have said a few things about the lyrics concerning the song and by the looks of things, they don’t seem to

be bothered by people who find this song sexually explicit. The controversies around this song show the double standards that exist in our society as there have been many songs that are of the same

kind written and sung by men but treated differently or rather as normal. Maybe it’s time we start treating every single piece of art created by any gender equally. Agreed?

https://ewn.co.za/2020/08/20/south-africanscelebrate-as-singer-elaine-goes-global-withcolumbia-records

Undoubtedly South Africa has produced top performing artists who are internationally known dating back all the way to the likes of Brenda Fassie straight up to Sho Madjozi but who said we cannot do it again? 21-year-old Law student, Elaine Mukheli has just represented us globally as she was recently signed by Columbia Records. If you asking who or what Columbia records is, well it’s only one of the biggest record labels which has signed the likes of BeyoncÊ, Adele and Alicia Keys based all the way in the States. Undoubtedly our girl Elaine deserves to be on this platform because her music is nothing less than spectacular, it resonates with all ages and she is definitely unmatched. This announcement came right after she released visuals for Risky, one of the songs on her EP which she dropped last year. We are most definitely behind you sis. Keep flying the flag way up high.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CDt09ClhyHc/

Another queen doing amazing things. Shekhinah Donell has decided to engage with fans on her social media platforms as she speaks about the unspoken. Using her Rose fest platform, she has launched a campaign called “bright future� that will run for approximately 8 weeks and this will focus on the difficult topics such as mental health, unequal income and the biggest elephant in South Africa right now, gender based violence. In these weekly discussions the talented singer-songwriter urges people to come through and engage about these topics and just share experiences.

https://zonknews.com/2020/07/24/beyonces-film-black-is-king-to-air-in-

africa/

Whether you are part of the Beyhive, a hater or just observing from the side lines, we could all most definitely agree that BeyoncÊ has had a great year thus far. From the release of her brand collab Ivy Park with Adidas, winning a BET humanitarian award, Black Parade and recently the film everyone is talking about; Black is King. This film celebrates everything black, from people, culture, fashion, dance, and the future. The visuals and scenes throughout the film is a piece of artistry. Black is king features various celebrities from the likes of Kelly Rowland, Lupita Nyong’o, and Naomi Campbell. Our very own artists also featured on the film, like Warren Masemola, John Kani, Connie Chiume, Nandi Madida, and the late umama Mary Twala. This film has artistically represented blackness in such a romantic and beautiful manner; how could we not be here for all of it.

https://www.iol.co.za/entertainment/tv/local /a-very-bonang-year-breaks-sabc1s-

The ladies in this country keep on doing the most and one woman who just never backs down is our very own Queen B, Bonang Matheba. The very talented and relevant Moghel has done it again this year as she had a show that was televised over two weekends, titled A Very Bonang Year on SABC 1. Seems like everyone watched the show as it had over 2 million viewers. However for those who did not, it focused on how she spent 2019. She showcases her travels around the world, business meetings, hosting at glamorous events and also gave viewers a sneak peek into her daily life.

EXHIBITION @Desirableink.sa:

My name is Simphiwe Sihle Sibisi. I am a photographer and the creator of a brand named Desirableink.sa. I started the brand because I saw a lot of talented young people with hopes of making it big in the entertainment industry one day. What I do is I approach these young people, do photo-shoots with them and market their modelling on my branding account. The aim is to make the media aware of the kind of talent that’s available and to hopefully change lives for the better. The objective is to reach a million more lives and the brand is my instrument to help change people’s lives for the better.

My mother always taught me to value people as much as I value her‌ That one of the good characteristics a man should have is respect, though in these recent years I find myself asking whatever happened to this world we live in. Women suffer mostly at the hands of men and are seen as objects. Women are viewed as the weaker gender whether it is physically, emotionally or mentally and women are definitely not free anymore, even in their own households certain advantages are taken because of how defenceless they are. There has been an awful silence in male culture about this on-going issue of violence against women caused by men. I believe that we need to break that silence; we need more men to do that, stand up for woman by calling out men. Women need our protection not our fists to emphasis a women’s place. This Photo series is dedicated to showcase the pain, tears and bruises felt by women with regards to GBV.

To report a case of abuse please visit: www.gbv.org.za

Alternatively call the emergency hotline on 0800428428

The Violence Continues

Women’s month normally refers to the upliftment, encouragement and celebration of all women but in South Africa, women’s month just marks yet another death of a young female due to Femicide. 19 year old Asithandile

Kwasa Zozo was brutality murdered by her ex this August, resulting in her death. Femicide is a pandemic that claims thousands of lives every year in South Africa that quickly needs to be dealt with because we are fast reaching a point where every woman will be next.

Gender-Based-Violence thrives in a climate of silence, not the silence of victims but more so the silence of friends and family members aware of the perpetrators behaviour but continue to look the other way. For GBV to come to an end, the culture of

silence around GBV has to come to an end.

Report perpetrators, Women are being killed more often and more violently than ever. If you see something, say something because you might actually save a life.

Hold people accountable, whether the perpetrator is a family member, friend or loved one. If someone does something wrong, they should be held accountable for their actions.

Stop victim blaming. Stop asking questions and making statements that could suggest that the victim is the cause of the abuse. For example, “what did she do for him to behave like that?”, “she should not have been alone late.”, “why speak now after so many years?” And “what was she wearing?.

Demand for a better reality for all women in this country by doing the right thing. #CallOutCulture

Evolution of Women By now, we all aware that women are transformative huh?

Pretty little caterpillars who are constantly struggling with “conforming to the institution and escaping the captivity of societal norms and stereotypes”.

The youth of today would say “I am exactly the woman I say I am”, but no, I am not just her, I am more than her, I am everything she aspires to be and then some.

As one of my friends would say: Patriarchy and its thousands of variations have had our sisters for centuries.

And while we soak in movements and become feminists to fight for gender equality, we must acknowledge the progress women have made for the past 100 or so years… it's not enough but it is a little that will go a long way!

Today we'll look at my

Today we'll look at my top 3 picks in how women have, are and will continue to evolve concerning gender stereotypes: 1) Financial independence.

Now, realistically we all know women in history have been dependent on men for their liberation, buuuuuutttt that is slowly becoming a thing of the past. We look at women such a Nomzamo Mbatha, Chimamanda Adichie, and various other women who are doing what they have to, to secure their bags and go about their spending without it being governed or validated by A MAN.

2) Sexuality Sexuality is still a touchy subject. WE KNOW FREEING THE NIPPLE IS “INDECENT” but really?? Who cares? Women are gradually embracing their sexuality – their femininity or masculinity, whether they appear to be “slutty” or “prudish” in conversations with the world… the carefreeness is a vibe!

3) Freedom of expression Isn’t it lovely how women can run their mouth these days? It’s amazing how opinions are being shared and listened to, I mean Podcasts, YouTube channels, discussion panels – the fruits of this earth are whispering their secrets all around and we love to hear every syllable of it!!!

While gender stereotypes are still on the fence, and on the mend, we can applaud the women in society for their tenacity and consistent progress – even if we aren’t aware of it. Our list of 3 is far from complete; do share your thoughts on what women are striving towards being nonconformists about!

Q &

A

We got to chatting to four amazing young females making major moves in their fields and proving that women belong everywhere,

in every field and on every platform.

Thato Moet

@ thato.moet on Instagram

Skateboarding is a huge part of the fabric of our culture. In influencers art, fashion, music and so much more while teaching you key principles like patience and discipline. Thato Moet, an 18 year old skater from Protea Glen , representing the jozi skate scene.

@gunnit_photography

@sharne_j

How did you get into skateboarding?

I saw some guys at the mall and they had skateboards and I was just intrigued so I became friends with them and from there I just decided I wanted to skate.

When was that?

That was around 4 years ago but then I kinda didn’t have a board and when I got one I didn’t really skate much.

How's the female skate scene in Protea Glen?

Well, I don’t know now because I haven’t really been there and when I really started skating, I skated in Jozi most of the time. But it’s kind of quiet although I know around 3 female skaters and I am still in contact with one of them. But I have a feeling that it’s going to grow because the female skate scene in Soweto is currently proliferating.

So what challenges have you come across and how did you overcome them?

One of the challenges I used to face was being the only female around a lot of males and that kind of made me uncomfortable but I got over it because at the end of the day it’s just skateboarding. Another one is just the sexism that exists currently amongst both sexes in the skate scene. I feel like it’s not everyone but there are a few sexist like very few sexist skaters and I’m not sure that they are aware of it because they just throw insulting comments and it’s kind of annoying because I recognize and clearly they don’t.

How does skateboarding play a part in your life and what inspires you to keep skating and progressing?

It’s 80% of my life in the sense that it has life lessons. I know this is cliché but it’s true and it teaches a whole lot of patience. You don’t even want to be patient but through skateboarding it just has a mental positive because it is also a physical sport so you get to keep healthy too. Life problems and Thrasher; they just push you to be an extremist in your skating and you just want to see yourself improving. It always feels great when you land, it’s like an award and its insane .The feeling is too deep.

What has skateboarding done for you and how far has it taken you in life?

I’ve met a lot of cool people who are like my lifetime family. It has also gotten me money at some point and free clothes and shoes and boards. I’m currently progressing in my skating and I just feel like it’s only the beginning you know, for example it has gotten me to this interview right now so yeah I’m pretty excited for what’s to come.

So are you in a skate crew? Are you sponsored? Are you part of any skateboarding organization?

I am currently helping out in the Girls Skate South Africa community organization.

What's it like being a female skater and how do you think that females should be represented in skateboarding?

Being a female skater at the moment is still a bit too much attention but the scene is growing so I hope that decreases, not in a bad way but like the undermining thing must stop. I think females should be represented like any other skater because skateboarding really has no gender so there’s no need for a specific representation. Just look at the other women in the country, they are literally shredding and it’s just skateboarding

Mind telling us about your recent achievements in skateboarding?

Uhhhh achievements ... I am getting closer to my skating goals I guess, like skating impact and stuff. I am part of a team that’s embracing female skateboarding in our country. I somehow qualified for Ultimate X but that didn’t happen I guess so eish that was great though. I went to KDC 2019 and met crazy people lol. It’s been a good journey and I’m hoping to get extremely better.

Kaiisha Eksteen

@Kaiisha Kish Eksteen on Facebook @Kaiisha Kish on Instagram

Adrenalin is the name and spinning is the passion, not the game. Kaiisha Eksteen, a motorsport fanatic and adrenalin lover.

Do you mind telling us about the art of spinning cars? How does that work and what does the market look like for this sport?

Spinning is about the art of adrenaline. Spinning gives you a thrill like no other; I can’t even really explain it. Spinning is a motorsport that can also been seen as a form of entertainment for many. The market in terms of spinning has grown over the years.

When and how did you get into this sport?

Ever since I was little, my dad would always take us to car shows and I was always fascinated by all the custom cars and spinning cars. I just knew at that point that this is my passion. I was 16 when the opportunity to spin cars came to me. Uncle Sam – a major influencer in the spinning industry; created a crew of young females who were interested in mastering the art of spinning. It was during this time that I became a member of the FFS (Future Female Spinners). With Uncle Sam as my mentor, I learned and achieved so much during that time.

Everything from changing tyres , all the way down to switching engine chips. He thought us that being a female does not mean you are limited in the industry. We can do anything males can do and even better.

Are there a lot of females in this sport?

Females are slowly but surely taking over the spinning industry. There are so many up and coming females joining the industry and creating a brand of their own.

What challenges do you think females face?

I think in general, no matter what females do and which field of work we go into, we face similar challenges. Women are always underestimated in society but it’s our duty to stand strong and not let any challenge bring us down. We are greater and stronger than what we could ever imagine.

What inspires you to bounce back from the challenges you face?

The fact that I remind myself daily that I need to be strong and I need to prove to myself that I can overcome anything life may throw at me because at the end of the day, you are your biggest supporter and you alone can get yourself out of any situation that does not add any value to your life or benefit your life.

Do you get any recognition for this? Are there any competitions and what do you actually win when you compete in these challenges?

Spinning is becoming a more established industry as a whole. People are daily recognizing the art of it and I think in South Africa it’s already a part of culture. There are various events and competitions taking place with this motorsport with different prizes up for grabs depending on the competition.

What do you hope to achieve for the future?

I think for anyone in the spinning industry, your main aim is to master the art of spinning. It’s a sport filled with adrenaline and it has a risk factor too. So practice remains key. My main aim is to get back into the industry guns blazing because I’ve been out for a while now due to various reasons but it’s still my biggest passion in life and I hope to achieve greatness in this field and master every part of the motorsports industry, from doing stunts right up to drifting.

What advice would you give to a little girl who happens to see you doing what you do best; who might also have hopes and dreams of spinning cars one day?

I would simply say “if you want it, go for it, nothing is impossible if you set your mind to it”. I think we as a society should motivate females from a young age in order to encourage them and to let them know that they can become anything they want to and to show them that there are no limits to life. You can achieve greatness beyond measure if you believe in yourself and your ability to achieve anything.

Jestina Inanna @ alien_eyes.human_experience on Instagram

@Jestina Inanna on Facebook

A young, talented, self-taught artist hailing all the way from Durban. Jestina works towards leaving a lasting mark with her

artwork by using different mixed media to birth her creations.

How long have you been doing art?

I've been doing art for 2 years but if I'm being honest, I'd say I've been doing art for 8 months because last year I went back to sketching. I used to enjoy sketching growing up and then I sort of left it to solely focus on academics, so I only resumed sketching last year and then started painting this year. That’s when everything started manifesting for me,

What influenced you to get into art?

Anime heavily influenced a lot of things i am passionate about to be honest. What attracted me to anime was the script writing and how everything unfolds and then I fell in love with the animation style, how they capture not only the action scenes but how the characters put attention into themselves and the main characters and every other character. You can see how much time and effort was put into every single thing within anime and I was drawn to that passion. So I'd loudly say that anime played a huge role in my pursue of art and in the type of art I do.

What type of art do you do?

I started sketching and then this year I got into painting. I started out with water colours, I loved water colours, especially because they dry quickly so it was easy to mass produce pieces but then I recently got into oil painting and I've fallen in love with it because it's helped me realize that you don't have to rush to finish a particular painting piece. So I love the whole process of taking my time, starting of the sketch and then painting and mixing the colours and oh my word they mix so beautifully! The texture, the tone!!

What inspires you to keep creating?

The sensation I get when I produce art. for me, painting has actually become my form of meditation because it’s just me and this thing I'm manifesting into existence and when I see the final product, it's so satisfying that it became my daily dose of meditation.

Do you mind telling us about any recent artwork that you’re working on?

It’s on an A3 canvas and the theme is black women. I know it sounds a bit cliché but I want to try out producing something that has to do with Africanism with everything that's going on in the world and the oppression and the injustice and all that has been done to so many black lives . I wanted to do sort of a tree of tees/a treaties to black women specifically so that's the main theme of the artwork. it's two black women; one dark skin and another one who is lighter to sort of Depict how black women come in all shapes and sizes and of course I had to include some spiritualism because for me ,that's kind of like my signature but your gonna have to wait and see until it's done. But I like how it's coming out so far.

How does being an artist impact on you?

Interestingly enough actually, me becoming more focused and serious about my art coincided with me sort of embodying the attributes that are sort of my highest self to possess. I let go of a lot of things that were no longer serving me and i fully came into myself while at the same time I was progressing so much exponentially with my art as well and it’s so beautiful how it coins me, following through with my passion coinciding with me being the women I've always imagined myself to be.

What challenges do you face as an artist and as a creative in general?

I'd like to say that there isn't really a market for art but that's not true. There is a market for art but I feel as if there isn't a market for young independent creative's; there really isn't. We try to motivate each other and sort of advertise all the things that we create but there really isn't that niche where people actually take us and what we create seriously because we are young. I actually went to an art museum to go and ask how much it would cost to display my own art and it was pretty much over 1k and that's expensive. There isn't really a market for us to showcase our works and grow. we sort of have to learn certain things by ourselves and put ourselves out there but at the same time even if we do put ourselves out there , it doesn't mean that we going to get an opportunity to take us from where we are right now to where we need to be, with like a constant hustle to actually push our work, or art or whatever it may be as a creative and it's really sad because right now all the things that we create are circulated around fellow creative’s but the goal is to share all of this with the rest of the world not just people who are on the same part as us, but people outside of the creative scene who actually get inspired by seeing all this creative work and just shift their perspectives as a whole.

What are the challenges you face as a female creative?

This might sound silly but I'm gonna share a story with you. The recent art piece I sold was actually a Goku art piece. so I go into town to meet up with a client, people could see the art because I couldn't wrap it; because it was an oil painting and it takes a lot of time to dry and at the time, it wasn’t completely dry yet. So I was in town and people kept looking at it and commenting positively on it but what really hurt, but not deeply, is that when people saw this piece and saw me carrying this piece they didn't think I created it. only when they would ask me who created it; I'd tell them I made it and they're reaction was like almost as if a female can't produce something that's like so intricate or rather, it actually comes down to how females are still seen as super feminine and only have to be into feminine things.

Much like anime, if you like it as a female, it's like you’re probably just gonna name one anime and you’re not really an otaku you know? There’s always that stereotype and they wouldn't think that she actually created this. Like are we still enslaved into patriarchy as modernise as I thought we were in my mind. So I feel as if that's the challenge I face. No one takes females seriously enough to think that we can produce amazing things.

What are you hoping to achieve as an artist?

Most people would say that they'd like to showcase their artwork to as many people as possible, make profit and so on but for me, yes making profit is the plus side to creating art but I create art because I love art and I don't have a goal as an artist, I just want to keep making art and keep sharing my art with people who appreciate my art. I don't really care about art museums or this and that, or the whole suit and tie art scene where people sip wine and say some fake sentiments about some abstract art piece that honestly doesn't even make any sense; only through the artist’s eyes do they know the emotions they were going through. I don't want that whole suit and tie art scene; for me I just want to keep creating things I love and share those thing with people who love it too. it's as simple as that really but at some point I want to become a councillor far on in life so I'd like to get into art therapy because I feel as if with everything I’ve learnt spiritually I can incorporate that with my art and help people literally paint what's eating at their subconscious and actually try to help them unpack or rather deal with all the suppressed trauma that they're dealing with. I feel as if that's where I'm most likely going to end up and it’s a journey and I can't put an end goal to the journey but yeah.

Donna-Lee Wentzel @donna’scouture on Facebook and instagram

Fashion designer and founder of Donna’s Couture, aimed at styling and creating new fashion trends for the culture.

Why travel the road less travelled? Out of all the things you could have done, why chose fashion design?

I always believe that in life we need to be creative; we need to go where our passion lies. I love clothing, I love dressing up and I love looking nice.

Describe the journey of building your brand.

No one said business would ever be easy, it has its ups and downs but I never let it get me down. So basically thus far it’s been good. I’ve learned a lot.

Was there ever a time you second guessed yourself and your decision? Did you ever feel like giving up on your dreams at some point? If so, how did you push through it?

Like I said, it has its moments. There were times when I felt like giving up, yes but I prayed and pushed through. I weighed out everything and when I think about the good moments this journey has, it pushes me to keep on going.

Doing what you do must be draining sometimes so how do you reward yourself for all your hard work?

I go shopping, like I said I love clothing. I go shoe shopping all the time as a reward for myself.

What advice would you give to someone who aspires to be where you are?

Go for whatever you want in life, let nothing hold you back but remember to have patience. Everything is a working progress.

Reflection Corner “A woman does not owe anyone an explanation….

Nor does she ever need to impress a nation…

Her true power lies not in someone’s confirmation

So, I’ll repeat, no! She doesn’t need your validation.

Some of the best lessons in life medium of reflection. Reflection Infact I’ll come tell youthrough about herthe true foundation… holds up a candle and lights up our past experiences so that we can look upon them and She is a queen who accepts no limitation… see them clearly. Reflection allows us to re-visit lessons in our lives that we may have A warrior who tramples over frustration, once looked over because often, experiences doevery not leave us until we ponder up the courage to learn the lesson. So today, I want us to get into a comfortable place of Brings vision into manifestation… reflection and think on some of those things in our lives that have shaped our decisions, drives the movement for liberation our paths and continue to…and forge our outlook on life. Today I want to put it to you to question the concept of what drives your life?aspiration, So, make it your To give her a standing ovation….” ©Mangena_on_Paper

There is truth in the fact that we are shaped and motivated by what we focus on the most, we are pushed to move forward by what we give the most power to and in this respect there are many factors and drivers that contribute to how we live our lives. The August is deemed as Women’s month from in our country; however, we we most common one comes from our environment, where we come from, what have gone the people of who surround us. Other driverswith stemafrom ourof find through that theand celebration women is often coupled horde deepest fears, our greatest passions and even ourand biggest regrets. stereotypes, unrealistic expectations disappointingly, the

gruesome violence that is inflicted on the women whom society claims to celebrate. This month I hope we can reflect on our own The thing about the trials and the storms we have faced and even the circumstances bias and views on what a woman should be like and reflect on our that we have found ourselves in is that they all had the one purpose of growing us and ownusbehaviours that haveWhile fostered the insecurity, painpainful, and shame grooming into better individuals. the trials may have been we need to other women.

Even we sometimes forget, thatwith in a realizeof that growth happens not as on women, roads of comfort, but on roads layered challenges.

Thethat greatest tragedy in what we gofeel through that may manynot people society already makes women thatisthey be stay stuck on theenough; challenges.

They refuse to see development the lesson thatand comes our goal should bethe to reach out to or other women fix with the circumstance, so they theiranother, problems because, and allow them to become their crowns andponder never on to all injure an injury to onetheir story and the thing that drives them the most. It is normal to go through things and to is an injury to all… be in pain, but do not allow this to be your whole story, often times this only breeds bitterness, regret and negative attitude towards these on things not add In the spirit ofareflection, I would like uslifetoand ponder thedoviews andany value to your earth.the What you have experienced caninonly two things: biastime thathere are on around expectations of women thedo society. make you bitter or push you so that in the end you achieve better, I hope you will choose the latter.

Reflection Corner I have found that many of these expectations are unequal to those expected of men. While the society is slowly evolving to allow women to take up space, I have come to realise that some expectations may never change. Women are expected to be homemakers, to contribute to the household, demand less, dress a certain way, be appealing but not too much, be gentle but not too reserved, be less opinionated but still communicate, not too loud, not too “slim”, not too “thick”, independent but not too independent, not too emotional, strong in unfair situations, not to be depressed and a horde of other unrealistic and unfair expectations which really should never be imposed on anyone. If these things are expected mostly of women, why is it that the same standard is not held for men too. While others may have certain expectations for men, the main idea in all this is that we all need to take a step back and inquire on why it is that the things we expect of others are things that we would never expect of ourselves nor ever attain ourselves.

Our mission should never be to put other people in a box. It should never be to treat other people as if our views on them is the standard for their lives, it should never be to make others feel as though they need to be validated or limited to what other people expect of them. In the end all we are, are human beings, and just being human is enough. We are allowed to feel however it is we need to feel. We are allowed the space to be whatever in the world we want to be without ever being shamed, insecure or apologetic about it. Perhaps it is time we put a stop to what we believe others should be or do and focus rather on what we could be individually. No woman (or man for that matter) owes anyone an explanation. She should be anything and everything she wants to be and be confident about that. Her essence should not be your problem; otherwise you may be the problem…

All in all, let’s all be better people who neglect the enforced and rigid bias and stereotypes that have been placed in us. Let’s strive to be better human beings who really celebrate and lift each other without expecting anything.

The D-E-A-T-H Sentence debate with Lerato

They say that old tricks die hard but the death sentence died very quickly in South Africa.

In actual fact, the death sentence might have only been used to eliminate those who stood against the old government because everyone who did not support their vision was put to the rope.

Well times have changed and we are here now. It’s thee pandemic year but we not only dealing with the Corona Virus because we also dealing with the fight against Gender Based Violence.

Question is; do you think that any of us have any sort of power when it comes to GBV? Yes we can all play our part and go onto social media and post hashtags about campaigns like not in my name and we can try to create conversations about abuse , however that’s where it ends. Just like that, our part is finished and we continue living our lives because as citizen in this country, our power is limited, don’t you think?

Because the real power lies in the hands of the government and the writers of the South African constitution. If the constitution is changed to something that will give a lifetime punishment to the abusers, killers and rapist in South Africa, then only can it be a better and safer place for all.

If I could really make a difference- like really, I would be one of the first people who stand for the death sentence to be brought back. You rape- you die, you kill-you die, as simple as that. But who am I to make a difference because the way I see it, until the death penalty is brought back, the only thing we can do is continue having conversations around GBV because the rest of the matter lies in the hands of the constitution of South Africa.

I was not around during the years when South Africa had put the death sentence in place but I’m pretty sure that one would think twice before laying a finger on any female if they knew that the consequences of their actions would result in death.

I know that the government is not ready to have this conversation and they surly not ready to take that kind of responsibility, so all they do is address the nation. But in the end you can’t really address GBV. Action needs to be taken because people are dying every day, women are dying every day and everyday someone, somewhere reports abuse or harassment but nothing is really being done about it.

I believe that women belong in… a safe world protected by the constitution of South Africa and not just protected by GBV campaigns that only last for 6 weeks and is only resurrected once another female dies at the hands of her male counterpart.

My standing is -rapists deserve the death sentence; finish and klaar.

What’s your standing?

Women belong…

When the month of dust hits, along with its apparent celebration of women - somewhere are a group of conscious women who feel that as a hard smack in the face. Like really? Are we so naïve as a people that we need to be reminded when to acknowledge the importance of women? **rolls my eyes**.

I often hear people say, oh my gawd! We as men and as a society have failed our women, but before we begin to think of that, we need to personalize our failure as individuals. We ought to think in terms of, "I have failed the women of this society" - I have failed myself, now how do I acknowledge it and what do I do thereafter. Pretending I care about their well-being with a “Happy Women's Month" isn't going to cut it. We have to be better!

As for, “what’d I do?”…well, I dunno but I can guess and I'm gonna express an opinion or two: See, you failed her every time you boxed her in with insecurities and absurd criticism.

You built walls around her with your misogynistic and patriarchy favouring traditions, expectations, rituals, standards, moral codes and "value instilling institutions". You put up a fence and locked her in - convinced her she is what comes after the prototype but she is her blueprint.

You, in all your comfort-ability and privilege, confidently made her feel worthless, long before her fight became physical. Society didn’t do that, you did that. You made a woman feel like she’s renting her space on earth, living on time and sugar that you borrowed her.

YOU DID THAT. I DID THAT. WE ARE DOING THAT. And we shouldn’t be, because we need to do better. We need to

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And we shouldn’t be, because we need to do better. We need to do better as individuals for us to do better as a society. How dare we think a salutation undoes that? That consideration once a year makes right the enforced vulnerability expressed every other day?

Personally, it's disrespectful. We need to understand, that as a people, we can’t police women, we can’t decide where they do or don’t belong. They are of this realm and belong in any space they wish to see themselves in – with or without your consent!

To continue discussions from this issue, hit us up on our socials. You can start a fight too! **wink wink**

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