Insideout Magazine issue 9 J U N E 2 0 1 4 I s s ue 1 5
nsideo ut
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Yip Staff Tarisai Mchuchu Director
A project implemented by Young in Prison South Africa
Natasha Swain Finance & Operations Officer Zamani Ndlovu Programme & Office Manager Clinton Osbourn Post Release Manager
facilitated by Nkosinathi Buyana
Owen Butler Internal Projects Verifier Nkosinathi Buyana Service Learning Coordinator Tlhabanelo Diholo Soccer Coordinator Vuyokazi Magobiyane Post-Release Assistant Joseph Mofokeng Life-Skills Facilitator Tebogo Butie Life-Skills Facilitator Co-facilitators Carolyn McEachern Brandilyn Tebo Fleur Souverein Juultje Van Boxmeer Reece MacRae Mitchell Perry Magazine design Conor Ralphs Meghan Judge Young in Prison 059 – 080 – NPO Community House 41 Salt River Road Salt River, Cape Town Tel: 021 448 5275 Fax: 021 448 3024 info@younginprison.org.za This project is funded by The European Union
www.younginprison.org.za This issue has been sponsored and supported by:
Contents
Editorial 2 Emotions and Behavior 4 Language and Expression: Fear 6 Prisoners Rights 10 Human Rights 16 Shame 20 Hope 22 Poems 32
Insideout Magazine issue 15
Editorial
by Nkosinathi Buyana
In this issue we looked at getting inmates to understand their own emotions and understanding these emotions helps them communicate their feelings openly and freely, and understand what kind of feelings lead to bad behavior. In understanding bad behavior, we then created awareness of how they express themselves through the type of language they use and understanding their rights as prisoners and how they can prevent their peers from violating these rights and how they can gain control of their own emotions and exercise their rights without violating those of other people.
We used lantour drawing where we got inmates to look at a group of drawings depicting violence and torture amongst inmates and they traced the images that they related to. In doing that, they gain understanding about the perpetrators of violence and learn to separate the difference between being a perpetrator and being an instigator of violence. This process enables them to avoid prison activities that involve gang violence and recognize when they are being provoked.
We also took them through the process of understanding why twenty years of democracy should be celebrated, what voting means for We also went through a process where they them, and how through exercising their right had to think about their experiences that have to vote they can contribute to themselves, made them feel shame or fear and how they their families, and their communities. can escape these emotions by understanding the meaning of hope.
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Emotions and Behavior
page 4
We created a platform for the inmates to understand that being human involves both positive and negative emotions. It is important to have control over bad emotions, because containing them “sits inside like a balloon.� Once you express them it prevents anger resulting in aggression or violence. We had participants write about their bad feelings and learn to overcome their bad feelings with positive ones.
Language and Expression: Fear
page 4
Inmates had to think about ways they can have bad feelings and how to communicate these feelings without relying on expressions of anger and fear. Through role play they practiced confronting people about their negative emotions while remaining controlled, calm, and understanding. They had to say how they felt and resolve the issue without argument. This created an awareness of understanding the importance of speaking openly and freely when confronting someone and trying to resolve a conflict.
Prisoners Rights
page 10
In this session we got them to learn and understand the elements of violence and torture amongst inmates. Each inmate had to trace images of violence and torture that they identified with. Through tracing, they were practicing how to trace lines and use dark and light colors to convey the meaning of how they view torture and violence.
Human Rights
page 16
Inmates had to think about what rights they have and how can they celebrate these rights, as well as their responsibility towards these rights. Each inmate had to select a right and draw his responsibility towards that right.
Acceptance : Shame & Hope
page xx
Shame: I will learn what causes shame, how it differs from guilt, how to forgive myself, and how to use guilt productively. Participant used tracing in depicting what drawings of shame and guilt they identify with, and how they can change that to be positive.
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
[ EMOTIONS & BEHAVIOUR ]
The Things That Make me Feel Bad or Act Crazy I don’t really get angry that easily because I believe that for someone to be a out of control angry person he must have grown up in an environment that made him express his feelings in the way in which he saw other people doing. I do get angry but it must be really something big that is gonna make me act stupid. If you look at a waterfall no matter how hard it is for that water to make its way down it will but most of the time is calm.
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
Bad Emotion My name is Joson Jonuory. My nickname is Goofy. I like to caught and make jokes, but someone swearing at me I get angry and I control my emotions here inside. When I am outside I first warn you swearing at me or tell something bad about me. If you don’t want to listen then I shoot you or stab you with a knife and is a very big one his name is Troy and the other one is Angry and Troubles and Mr. Voges. Then I show you what I do. After that I like to caught what I do. This or no Goofy Movie.
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
[ FEAR ]
Tumelo Makhetha
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
Anele Ntoni
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Insideout Magazine issue 15 [FEAR]
erson
Simon Pet
id
y Onkru
Curtle
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
Ntsikelelo Filane
Zhanudre Adonis
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
[ PRISONER’S RIGHTS ] Often when you are arrested the police tend to usually treat you like you are a criminal, but what I understand when you are arrested for whatever reason you are an accused until proven guilty by the court. The police treat you like you are the world’s most wanted predator. Where our rights are concerned, we only get to hear that: you have the right to remain silent or whatever we say can be used against us in the court of law, you have a right to a lawyer etc. but they never tend to make it clear – what your rights are, when it comes to accommodation, hygiene, health and sanitary as I am a women and have those kind of needs. I feel the police should be educated when it comes to that because a person would sit in a holding cell for hours with or without sanitary pads. Sometimes not knowing your rights make your arrest harder than it already is and it makes me feel I have no rights at all. This experience make and made me feel less human and like an old criminal. Azola Martins
I feel the Police should explain people’s right no matter if you know what your rights are or not. They would make you sign a paper that states your right, which they don’t even give you a chance to read what is said on the paper. You don’t even know if you are signing your life away or what but they force you to sign without any explanation. At the police station I felt really confused and belittle not knowing what I am signing and when I will be appearing in court or if my family knows where I am or if they would come visit me while I was in the holding cell. The Police are so rude, when you ask a question they would respond in a very bad manner. When you are at court they treat you more like a human being, the magistrate explained my rights exactly to my understanding before sentencing me so I knew exactly what I could do and not do Simone Mouton
First my case started in 2009 so I was 15yrs old, so I was never arrested I was out on my mother’s permission and I always attended court but the day I was caught guilty the judge told me I will remain in custody meaning [in prison] until my next appearance which was 18 September 2012. My experience was terrible because I never knew how a cell looked like before. It was so scary the walls were filled with lots of writing and the toilet was just nearby it was ice cold, before they put me in they searched me and they told me you are going to Pollsmoor I cried and I felt so cramped up I went in at 10 o’clock, and I can to prison only at 4 O’clock there were no beds, only a block where I could sit on. Further on it was just scary I almost cried the whole time. I don’t know how it is to be in a police holding cell, I only know the court cell. Fayrooz Khandke
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
ARRESTED EXPERIENCES
I was arrested at my home at around 9pm on a Wednesday evening. They told me I was under arrest for murder and searched the house for drugs. They handcuffed my boyfriend as he was also charged with murder and they took us to strand police station, they took our phones as evidence against us and put the money I had on me in my property. I signed the paper after I had read my rights and got to keep the copy of the page then I was searched by a policewomen and I was put in a cell. I had an itchy blanket and a mat, I was hungry they had arrested me as I was just preparing supper. They took me to Simons town I was put in the holding cell. My boyfriend was taken to Muizenberg police station. I slept at about 2 in the morning, Thursday I spent the day in the holding cell, I was crying. The Captain came and took me in for questioning and I told me I don’t want to speak until I see my dad. He said the lawyer can only see m on Monday and it could not help. A lady came to visit me because my boyfriend told her where I was, she brought me sanitary pads and toilet paper. I went back to my cell and asked if I could use the phone but I was told to wait for another police to come in the evening shift. He told me it was too late, so I should ask the following day. Friday came and there was no phone call allowed. The lady my boyfriend sent for me came but she was not allowed to see me. I only got what she sent me I washed myself with a t-shirt. I take in for questioning again for a few hours, this carried on for a couple of days. The person who was questioning me said if I confess I will get a lesser sentence, she said she knew my boyfriend had influenced me and said I if I confess she would help me I said I will not confess until he did she told me what I did was evil and was a psychopath. I wanted to phone my day but they could not allow me Sunday Demoyi the person who questioned me came told me my boyfriend confessed so I agreed to do it too. They let my dad see me who had come from Knysna and I confessed in front of the camera before he came and she took me to a DR to make sure I was not abused into confessing but Fishoek Hospital was not willing to do it so she left that out. I went to court on Monday morning, Demoyi told me she would never let us get bail so after my first denial I gave up trying. I told legal aid lawyer and said I should not have confessed and should have waited for a lawyer. I told her Demoyi said it would not help I then went to Pollsmoor I feel the police should have told me what my rights are when they arrested me, because I was not sure what I had a right to or don’t have a right to or even act as, because I had committed a deed that no longer allowed me in society as a punishment so I don’t know how I was allowed to act or even feel about things. I think they should tell us we are still allowed to act as humans and get our basic human needs like toiletries, wash towels, sanitary pads and be regarded as human being like them though we have done something wrong. When I don’t know my rights, I feel lost and unsure what I can allow to happen to me, I don’t know when I should stand up for myself as I don’t know what extent my punishment goes. What do I deserve and how badly do I deserve to be treated. I can’t be with the rest of the people so I don’t know if I am still a person and can be treated like one. Phoenix Theron
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Insideout Magazine issue 15 [PRISONER’S RIGHTS]
Tumelo Makhetha
Anele
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Ntoni
Insideout Magazine issue 15
Denzil
Curtley Onkruid
Ntsikelelo Filane
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Insideout Magazine issue 15 [PRISONER’S RIGHTS]
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
Simon
Peterso n
Zhanudre Adonis
Gordon
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
Angelo Hanekom
[ HUMAN RIGHTS ]
Ange
lo Ha
neko
m
an
ha
Igs
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
Ivan Beukes
Jevone Lintnaar
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Insideout Magazine issue 15 [HUMAN RIGHTS]
Taurig Kallam
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
Siyabonga Gobodo
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
[ SHAME ]
Denzil
Anele Adonis
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
Zhanudre Adon
is
ruid
Curtley Onk
Ntsikelelo Filan
i
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Insideout Magazine issue 15 [HOPE]
[ HOPE ]
There are two mountains, you must have faith that you can jump from one to the other. One side is not nice, and the other is better. The first mountain is prison and the second is home. I am in a gang and I want to stop and go away from it and make it to the other side. I hope to have a big house with my family. I want to work and have 2 kids. And I don’t want to come back here. I shoot anyone who swears to me or does something I don’t like. I want to get away from that. Luciano Maans
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
I have hope because I want freedom I hope Young in Prison teaches us some good stuff
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Insideout Magazine issue 15 [HOPE]
I have hope because, even in the dark there can be light, because of the hope, I have hope that in the dark there can be light. Mikhaeel Jones
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
Hope is about helping other people everywhere how to survive in life and how to make a better future for you and others around you to become a better person in life and be a role model for others. Waylon Meyer
Waylon Meyer
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
This picture represents that I can do something with my life. The candle shows where to go in the dark. The flowers show love. The stars, because I love stars. They also represent my hope to go to heaven when I die. The wings represent angels. I hope that I can learn to read and write. When I go out I hope that I can disaffiliate from my gang.
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Insideout Magazine issue 15 [HOPE]
I have hope I have hope the sun is my potential the sun gives me ‘hope’ The mountains are the challenges that I face in everyday life The dark is the curse and the evil things in everyday life The sun rising gives me ‘hope’ because it is the dawn of a new day
Siviwe
I have hope I draw a flower This painting, I go out of because when g to grow like prison I’m goin aw. the flower I dr ting. I love my pain ijk Jacques van W
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
I have the hope in life to build a better tomorrow You have to take the good with the bad smile when you’re sad Love what you have got and remember what you had Always forgive but never forget to learn from your mistakes But never regret people Change things go wrong Just remember life goes on Sometimes it’s better be alone, nobody can hurt you My silence is just another word for my pain But there is nothing more beautiful Than a smile that has struggled through tears Because it build a strong foundation Hope With a bright corner stone I have hope because I believe in myself Andthey I’m grow glad that I’m fighting The flowers that I draw show that I have hope because everyday bigger for my life Abongile Damente
Hope
This is my picture of hope because there is always hope when I am going to leave the prison because hope is to have faith in yourself Luchen Hendricks 29
Insideout Magazine issue 15 [HOPE]
I have hope because I believe that i can change my life to become a better person My picture shows that I can grow from negative to positive Justin Adams
I have hope because I want freedom I hope Young in Prison learns us some good stuff Rodney Muggles
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
I have hope because I believe that I can change my life for the better and believe in myself. My picture shows that the davo’s I draw believe that they can fly so do I believe that there’s hope for me one day!! The sun I draw shows that I believe because every day the sun will shine and that’s also hope! Jade Malloy I have hope because I believe in myself The flowers that I draw show that I have hope because they grow everyday bigger Wayne Arendse
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
[ POEMS ]
I feel so trapped being in prison behind steel doors and huge burglar bars it feels so very far from my mind travels everywhere I don’t feel I can hold up it gets too much for me trapped behind four walls every day it feels like I want to fall. The keys play like a song early in the morning till late at night them me, I, myself feel more trapped You look through the windows of the prison you see the free life then it feels you aint alive. living is a living spirit. free life is good just make the right choices it will do you good, you can be free in prison and feel trapped in your mind At night at ten lights out I miss home cause it feels I am still living a nightmare, so bad I can’t awake of it it’s eating me alive, I need to let go and face reality this is where I am and this is where I’m going to stay for a while. This wouldn’t have to be so lonely and I don’t have to feel so trapped. Fayrooz Khandker
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
Dear Charmainie Mitha Mom I am sorry Especially for me Mom I have committed many sins But I have to stay strong In my life I haven’t seen many grins But I will stay strong no matter how long I still have a lot to learn No matter how much my heart burns Mom I am sorry for all the fights Especially the ones that lasted all night Mom my life is surrounded by a shell There are not many things I can do I don’t know if you can tell But I’m not taking it very well Mom I just want to tell you That I’m sorry for all the hell I put you through And I want you to remember that I love you Kim
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Insideout Magazine issue 15
My Ghetto Life your family ghetto people you know how I can tell your grandma was a drunkard and your cousins live in cells. you’ll turn out to be just like ‘em aint no sense of foolin’ yourself for you’re bound to be ghetto people for you there’s nothing else aint no sense of going to college and keepin them imaginary goals cause for all the ghetto people the story has been told you either have ten babies, or live a life of crime Yes, you ghetto people’s lives not even worth a dime Alicia Diedericks
Trying to figure the world make confusion Negative criticism came from the devil possession Now I am facing the consequences of my actions Lord I need some salvation I am so young in prison Here I am suffering from depression Who to blame nobody but myself and actions Self-esteem is so low caused by regression Lord I need some salvation I am so young in prison Realization at my mistake would lead perfection Learning from them would lead to progression To myself oh yes I am the solution Lord I need some salvation I am so young in prison I need to start lay bricks on a perfect foundation Though I am in difficult situation I am confident I will make it no matter what conditions Lord I need some salvation I am so young in prison I believe I am the inspiration To the modern and the future generation With my passionate words as motivation Lord I need some salvation I am so young in prison Siviwe Mjongile
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