Youth speak December 2020∣Youth Hong Kong
On the brink • Persistent misunderstandings can prevent suicidal young people from getting help.
• 持續被誤解令有自殺傾向的青年抗拒求 助。
• It can never be assumed that a suicide attempt is just an appeal for attention.
• 我們不應假定自殺只是尋求別人關注的 手段。
• Real danger faced both Sze and Cindy, both of whom were helped by HKFYG social workers.
• Sze 及 Cindy 均曾企圖自殺，並接受香 港青年協會社工的專業輔導。
Sze: caught shoplifting “At home, there have always been strict rules. At school, I didn’t get good results. At work, the boss always seemed to pick on me. I suppose I put pressure on myself too, panicking about trying to please other people and failing. I never used to let anyone know how I felt. I bottled it all up and pretended to be calm. Eventually, I was so stressed that I started cutting myself. I don’t really know why. It seemed to distract me from all my troubles. Then I stopped eating, but I don’t think anyone really noticed. Sze was caught shoplifting when she was 21 when she started stealing but her troubles started long before that. In order for her to recover, a counsellor helped her relax the rules she set for herself and escape from a mesh of negative thoughts. Every day, I used to wake up and hate myself until one day I started stealing. I didn’t really want the things I took and was so ashamed when the police arrested me. I was put on probation but just wanted to end it all. One day, Dad found me on the roof. He was just in time to stop me jumping. I was sent to hospital but I refused to talk to anyone. I just wanted to avoid the world. In the end, a social worker came to see me. He coaxed me into telling him many things about myself that I had never told
12
I learned to listen to myself and recognize the triggers that made me panic. anyone else. About my boyfriend and how I thought I couldn’t live up to his standards, about being desperate for approval but feeling hopeless inside. The social worker was so patient. He helped me see how I set traps for myself, always imagining the worst. I learned to listen to myself and recognize the triggers that made me panic. I discovered how to stop that horrible downward spiral that led me into a black hole of depression.” I have put what I did wrong behind me and see the world in many colours now, not just black and white. I can see Dad is an introvert like me. I never realized that before. I see Mum needs me to look after her and that helps me be less inwardlooking. I was so surprised when people at work didn’t seem to be labelling me even though they know I got into trouble. The world is beginning to look like a new place.”
