eQuip Magazine Fall 10

Fall 2010 volume 8, issue 1

NEW

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Wit cate h over 3 n carr gorie s of ew ying i y 36 ou th nfo yout 5 days rough o hm inis f try!

www.youthunlimited.org

Exceptional Volunteer: Meet Agnus Mcknight

CONNECTING WITH FAMILY The new youth ministry picture.

WHY WORRY?

Personal coach, Mark Knetch, writes about worry and fears in YU: The Story Circle.

THE INFO A NEW FOCUS Youth Unlimited eQuip volume 8, issue 1 Editors Lisa Kruithof Shari Ilbrink Publication Coordinator & Leadership Development Director Marcel deRegt Graphic Designer Kristen Van Stee Personal Coaches Koenraad Beugelink Marcel deRegt Gretchen Driesenga Jeff Gates Mark Knetsch Jeff Kruithof Cody Statema Kaylyn Unterkofler Guest Writer Kristi Kruithoff FOR MORE INFORMATION Leadership Development Marcel deRegt 616-485-1966 marcel@youthunlimited.org SERVE Jerry Meadows 616-241-5616 ext 3040 jerry@youthunlimited.org Events Millie Hoekstra 207-864-2963 millie@youthunlimited.org Youth Unlimited eQuip is printed in the United States and is a FREE resource to contributing churches. eQuip is available for purchase at $25 /yearly subscription.

Canada: Canada Post International Sales Agreement #41124116. Return undeliverable Canadian addresses to Youth Unlimited eQuip Box 1100, Norwich, ON N0J 1P0 CANADA FRONT COVER Agnes McKnight is a dedicated volunteer youth worker at Immanuel Christian Reformed Church in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. See her interview on page 12.

Photo Credits Positive Image, Hank Rintjema www.positiveimage.ca

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Thank you!

We don’t say it enough! You are in the trenches week after week being the hands and feet of Jesus Christ to youth across North America. Every youth has a story, a history and a future – that is the landscape in which you are privileged to bring the light of Jesus Christ. As a ministry, may we never take lightly the task that God has given you as a youth worker. So please accept our heartfelt thanks!

It is our prayer that eQuip is a meaningful and helpful resource for you. As you will notice, our focus for eQuip has been refined. YU realizes that not every church has paid youth workers but that many churches have vibrant, effective and energetic youth ministries because of dedicated people who have a heart for the youth—the volunteer.

As Mark Knetsch states in his article on page 20, “…target audience this year is not so much for the paid staff member. It’s not for the seminary trained or for those with PhD’s in theology. It’s for those volunteers who faithfully give up their time and energy to help teens grow as disciples of Jesus. The difference between you as the volunteer and Brian Regan as a kid is that (if you are a human living in North America) life is crammed with life-stuff. Work, home, kids, pregnancy, paying loans, running errands… this list goes on. Things stack up against you.”

This is a resource for you to help you

in your ministry. YU is dedicated to helping youth workers! Over the past number of months YU has worked hard finding qualified writers (Personal Coaches) that will address current youth ministry issues from a volunteer perspective. As a ministry, we will continue to strive to bring you the best in events, development, retreats, SERVE, leadership trips, and more! This is just one way YU can support you and say, “thank you!”

If you are a paid youth pastor and have volunteers, make sure they receive eQuip.

They are counting on you to supply them with great, current resources—this is one of them! And please take some time to read it yourself; there may be some helpful information in here for you as well!

If you have received eQuip in the past, you will receive it as you always have—directly to your church! If this is your first issue of eQuip and you’d like to continue receiving it, fill out the form at www.youthunlimited.org/equip and follow the link to “SUBSCRIBE”.

Thank you and enjoy this issue of eQuip as you continue ministering to youth. May your passion and commitment remain strong in Christ.

Marcel deRegt, Leadership Development Director

Personal Coach: Marcel deRegt is the Youth Unlimited Leadership Development Director. He lives in Hamilton, ON with his wife, Monica, and 3 children.

CONTENTS Editor’s Note: Our apologies for incorrectly citing the writer of Prayer Labyrinth (Summer 2010, pg. 17). It was written

by Megan Wunderink, not Kristi Kruithoff. We’ve included the correct article by Kristi Kruihoff, Prayer, found on page18.

4-5 365 Days: Timeline

Communication 6 Boundaries

Leadership Development 8 Student Leadership Culture 10 Finding and Motivating Leaders

Youth Group Community 11 I Want to Belong

Exceptional Volunteer 12 Agnes McKnight

Family Connection 16 A New Youth Ministry Picture

Nuts & Bolts 15 Meet the Parents 16 The Art of Appreciation

Events 18 Prayer

Teaching God’s Word 20 YU: The Story Circle

Word of Encouragement 22 Prayer Based Youth Ministry

IMPORTANT NOTE! You will no longer be receiving eQuip at your personal address. Starting with this issue, eQuip will be mailed directly to your church’s youth ministry contact person.

Thank You!

FACT: This issue of eQuip has been mailed out to over 2,500 youth workers across North America.

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365 DAYS

October

November

December

• Begin praying about and researching summer SERVE trip opportunities.

• Begin praying about and researching winter retreat options.

• Book a location for your winter retreat.

• Host a fall outreach event.

• Register for the YU leadership development trip to Israel.

• Decide on a SERVE location and preregister.

• Recruit some parent volunteers to organize the Christmas celebration.

• Distribute information concerning the summer trip opportunities.

• Distribute Christmas celebration Invitations (before Thanksgiving).

• Register for the YU youth worker retreat if you have not already done so.

• Host a Christmas celebration.

• Register for the YU leadership development trip to Israel if you have not already done so.

• Celebrate Christmas!

April

May

June

• Host an Easter Celebration.

• Celebrate Easter!

• Distribute Invitations to the congregation for your SERVE fundraiser.

• Prepare transportation for Live It!

• Host a congregational SERVE fundraiser.

• Schedule a SERVE team trainings for the student teams—YU can assist you.

• Choose an encouragement gift for your graduating Seniors.

• Host a first SERVE team training.

• Host a second SERVE team training.

• Lead or equip others to lead SERVE. • Contact incoming students to welcome them to the youth ministry.

• YU leadership development trip to Israel (June 11- 27).

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Personal Coach: Cody Statema is the Pastor of Youth and Outreach at Calvary Christian Reformed Church in Edina, MN.

January

February

March

• Schedule a training/blessing meeting(s) for your fellow volunteers.

Contact YU for suggestions.

• Update/print winter ministry brochures.

• Distribute information concerning the winter retreat.

• Obtain an initial commitment for your winter retreat from students/parents.

• Obtain an initial commitment for your SERVE opportunities from students/ parents.

• Schedule a profession of faith/ confirmation class with your pastor.

• Approach students about making profession of faith/confirmation.

• Attend the YU youth worker retreat in Michigan (Jan. 25-27).

• Register your youth for YU Live It! (July 20-24).

• Obtain registrations for your SERVE opportunities.

• Send in the registrations for your SERVE opportunities.

• Host your winter retreat.

• Begin fundraising for Live It! • Begin a profession of faith/confirmation class.

• Recruit parent volunteers to help in planning for the SERVE fundraisers.

• Recruit parent volunteers to help in planning an Easter celebration.

• Attend the YU youth worker retreat in Alberta (Feb. 11-13) and Ontario (Feb. 25-27).

• Distribute Easter Celebration Invitations.

• Follow up with students from profession of faith/confirmation class.

• Schedule a time with the senior pastor for profession of faith/confirmation in a Sunday morning service.

• Attend the YU youth worker retreat in BC (March 4-6) and Minn-I-kota (March 25-27).

• Make sure you have enough volunteers to attend Live It!

July

August

September

• Begin recruitment of your student leadership team and additional volunteers.

• Begin planning fall kickoff event.

• Research and purchase teaching material—YU can assist you.

• Attend YU Live It! (July 20-24).

• Finalize your teaching material.

• Have the church council approve your teaching material.

• Make sure you have enough volunteers on your team.

• Schedule a training meeting(s) for your volunteer team—YU can assist you.

• Make copies of teaching materials, training tools, safe church policies and teaching policies.

• Update and print fall ministry brochures.

• Mail updated medical/release forms to the students on your mailing list.

• Finalize plans for and send out invites for the kickoff event.

• Host a kickoff event after Labor Day. • Host a parent’s meeting (Sunday after Labor Day).

• Recruit some parent volunteers to organize a fall outreach event.

• Distribute fall outreach invitations (before September 30).

• Register for the YU youth worker retreat nearest you.

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COMMUNICATION

Boundaries It is said that “Good fences make good neighbors”. A good fence is one that has a gate, creating an appropriate boundary while still allowing accessibility. In all aspects of life healthy boundaries are built into relationships and allow those relationships to be vibrant, efficient and prosperous to both sides. “Fences”, or proper boundaries, are an essential facet of healthy and effective youth ministry.

Boundaries, like fence posts, shift with time and require regular maintenance as your life and ministry change. There are three major aspects of life in youth ministry that require you to modify

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your boundaries. One stage is singleness. In this period of life be sure your boundaries are broad enough to allow you to have community, accountability, and relationships outside of your students and ministry. Be sure to interact and connect with your peers and those older than you.

Often your students, parents, and even fellow volunteers can interpret your singleness as you being available 24 hours a day.

Another stage is married life and youth ministry. If you have become married at some point during your ministry it would be important to examine your “fence” of availability. While having 24/7 availability when

you are single may work, your spouse may not appreciate 2 a.m. wake up calls from students who wish to verbally update you on their status, rather than doing it on Facebook. Marriage may also require a conversation of your expectations with your spouse, perhaps as to his or her involvement in your ministry. It also requires advance planning so that family life and ministry life do not conflict.

A final stage is having children that are the age of your ministry. Be careful about putting pressure on your children to be something they are not in your ministry.

Not every student, including the children of youth workers, has the gifts and calling to be student leaders. Be sure you are not putting them in a position to be the source of information regarding other students. It may also be helpful to communicate with your students your boundaries in confiden-

COMMUNICATION

tiality, that you will not be sharing this with your child, their peer.

Having proper boundaries and regularly examining them will help you maintain and grow your ministry. Boundaries will allow you to have healthy, vibrant relationships with your students and will allow you separate ministry time from personal or family time. Take some time this week to inspect, erect, or mend your “fences�.

Personal Coach: Gretchen Driesenga is the Youth Director at Plymouth Heights Christian Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, MI.

marily between larized around texting, where sending a text

DID YOU KNOW? Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primobile phones. The term was first popu2005, and is a portmanteau of sex and the latter is meant in the wide sense of possibly with images.

Sexting that involves teenagers sending explicit photographs of themselves to their peers has led to a legal gray area in countries that have strict anti-child pornography laws, such as the United States. Some teenagers who have texted photographs of themselves, or of their friends or partners, have been charged with distribution of child pornography. Those who have received the images have been charged with possession of child pornography. In some cases the possession charge has been applied to school administrators who have investigated sexting incidents as well.

The images involved in sexting are usually different, in both nature and motivation, from the type of content that anti-child pornography laws were created to address.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexting

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LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT

BY THE NUMBERS: 1,749 youth and leaders went on a Youth Unlimited SERVE experience in the summer of 2010.

Developing a Student Leadership Culture Abigail sat down across the table from me in the local coffee shop and started explaining that she was questioning whether God was real, whether she believed him, and what she should do about it. One thing she was certain she couldn’t do was continue being a part of the team preparing to go to Mexico City on a mission trip. “That wouldn’t be honest,” she said, “I can’t go to talk about a God I’m not even sure I believe in!”

Devon attended youth meetings and church regularly. He was slightly small for his age and had some health problems, but he brought his friends and was committed to growing with Jesus.

Linda attended our youth ministry one night with a friend, got a call from one of the teens she met and instantly it was her youth group.

What do all these people have in common? They’re all part of our youth leadership team and have been for years. They love Jesus and people, and they love serving in the church.

Student leadership development is exciting and rewarding but very challenging and difficult. I’m a full time youth pastor (and have been for years) yet I continue to struggle with how to develop leaders. I don’t have a specific student leadership program. I’ve tried (and continually try) putting programs into place with slight success. I’ve found that most of the teens ready to develop as leaders are usually already leading. They’re often over-committed in sports or extra-curricular activities and aren’t able to commit to a program that demands a huge amount of their time. Many of them don’t want to sit around learning about leadership, they want to lead.

Therefore, instead of bashing my head against the wall about how ungodly and uncommitted teens today are (which is only my self-absorbed perspective), I’ve learned to realize that leadership development doesn’t have to be about a specific program. In fact, it’s great that Christian teens are leading in their schools and sports and extra-curricular activities. That’s exactly where we want them to lead.

The challenge is how to help them lead with integrity and Christian influence. What we try to do as a youth ministry, and as a church, is focus on creating and developing a student leadership culture.

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A student leadership culture is not about a specific program. It’s about watching people, talking with them, asking them about their interests and dreams, and giving them opportunities within the church and community to learn and grow as leaders. In fact, I’ve found that leadership development is more about disciple-

LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT

ship than actually training for leadership. They train “on the job.”

Our part in helping them grow as Christian leaders is to disciple them and to give them leadership opportunities.

Discipleship begins with us. We need to be passionate about Jesus, growing with him and growing as leaders. Without this, any program or idea will fall flat – no matter how good it is. Teens see right through our facades. When we’re growing with Jesus, it rubs off. Pray for a heart that breaks for your teens. Pray for them.

Dream about your ministry and pray for the needs.

(from Chicago)

There isn’t one perfect discipleship program. The key is to nurture a passion for Jesus and God’s Word into the hearts and minds of students. Share your passion for Jesus with them. Get to know your teens individually. Teach directly from God’s Word.

As I listened to Abigail, I realized that she needed to be on the mission team. That was a place for her to ask her questions. Mission trips are as much about the discipleship process before the trip as it is about the trip. We always assemble our team and begin meeting regularly at least 6 months before the trip. So I urged her to stick with it and be honest with the team. I challenged her to continue and see if she still felt the same way when it was over.

She took the challenge! Now she is one of our most passionate Student leadership will look different in every church. The key is to love small group leaders.

Jesus, love your teens, and watch for ways that God is working in their Devon struggled with health problems and being small for quite a lives that you can join in by giving opportunities and discipleship. Don’t while. He attended our first mission trip and was sick half the time. let failed program attempts keep you from working toward a student leadership culture.

But he never gave up. I saw a passion in him for Jesus and met with him regularly to pray together and just chat (discipleship in Personal Coach: Jeff Gates is the disguise!). Now he loves leading as a small group leader. full time youth pastor at Chilliwack Linda was shy and timid when she first attended. I knew a call from me or another leader wouldn’t be nearly as effective as a call from one of the teens she met. I casually asked one of the committed girls to call her during the week. Linda has been with us ever since. She is a small group leader and our summer camp children’s ministry director.

Baptist Church in Chilliwack, B.C. He and his wife of 12 years, Cheryl, have two young boys, Jack, and Gabe.

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LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT

Finding and Motivating Leaders Jim, one of the leaders in our high school ministry, called me on a Sunday afternoon and asked if he could stop by to talk.

When he showed up, he outlined a problem we had been facing in our ministry, explained that he had done some research, summarized his research, and gave a plan of action that we adopted. In a few short weeks the problem was solved!

people were parents of the teens in our youth ministry. Third, I began calling these people and asking them out for coffee. I explained what we would like to accomplish in our youth ministry, what we were doing, and what the needs were. Then I asked if they would be interested in joining this exciting ministry.

Jim is a motivated leader that any church would love to have volunteering in their youth ministry but when I first approached him to help lead he was very hesitant.

Recruiting youth leaders is important, but even more important is motivating them and keeping them excited about the ministry.

Those first leaders mostly consisted of parents and since they had a personal investment in the ministry they were happy to help. After a couple years, Jim and several other teens had graduated from the ministry and there was a college and career age group to draw from. I continued the same strategy of coffee meetings and began to grow a larger leader team.

When I first started recruiting leaders, I didn’t have an amazing strategy but I did three things. First, I prayed for the right leaders. There were no college and career age people to draw from so I prayed for that age group to expand in our church.

Second, I began paying attention to people that looked like they loved Jesus and loved teens. Interestingly, most of those

As the leader team developed, I began to learn how to share leadership. At first we planned calendars and events together as much as possible. Then we began to understand individual interests, abilities and passions within our leadership team.

That’s when it became more fun. We began planning general ideas and broad objectives together and then assigning

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specifics within our areas of interest and ability.

This sharing of ministry and responsibility has given each leader meaning and excitement about our youth ministry. I am still the “go to” guy, but our youth ministry is exciting because our leaders are invested and love what we do. We have developed a leadership culture that makes leadership something people want to be a part of. Now, instead of worrying about finding enough leaders every year, I have teens coming up to me asking if they can be a leader.

Finding and recruiting leaders does not have to be a dreaded task. It can and should be an enjoyable part of youth ministry. I’ve had to change my expectations of a well run program or event many times along the way, but as I’ve had the courage to do that the ministry hasn’t suffered, rather it’s thrived.

Personal Coach: Jeff Gates is the full time youth pastor at Chilliwack Baptist Church in Chilliwack, B.C. He and his wife of 12 years, Cheryl, have two young boys, Jack, and Gabe.

Did you know you can receive a Leadership Development Resource in your ‘inbox’ every two weeks from Youth Unlimited? Go to www.youthunlimited.org/trenches and sign up today! It’s FREE!

YOUTH GROUP COMMUNITY

I Want To Belong My tray held a burger, a carton of chocolate milk, a couple napkins, and a fork as I handed the three dollars to the cashier to cover the cost of my meal. As my hands grasped the tray, the river dance taking place in my stomach seemed to grow louder and more intense as I turned toward the entrance to the cafeteria tables. Wildly, my eyes scanned the mass of people for just one familiar face next to an open seat.

There! Oh wait, that’s not Dean… With every step further into the room my anxiety increased and the desire to turn and run out of the cafeteria increased exponentially! Where were they sitting…

“Cody! Right here!” Relief and embarrassment rushed over as I realized that my friends were right next to me and I, the crazed fool that I am, was looking over top of their heads in an effort to locate them!

I wish I could say that my high school cafeteria anxieties only belong to myself, but the reality is that every student that is in our churches longs for that place to belong as well. One of the challenges in youth ministry is to develop environments where students are not just individuals consuming the teaching and ministry. But rather they are engaged in a community that is being impacted by the gospel and God’s Word and using their God given gifts for the Kingdom. If that is our goal, here are three ways that leaders seek to encourage Christ-centered community.

1. Knowing Make a point to learn, remember, and say names. This is one of the simplest ways to build community with your students. If you have a challenge with names or details, make flash cards with the pictures of your students and significant details to quiz yourself. You can even add to these cards as your relationship with that student progresses. If one is an ice skater, get some other students together to go to a show. If you have a basketball player, gather a group to make some signs and sit together as a cheering section. Know who these students are and find the simple ways to be involved in their lives to edify and encourage the community.

2. Working When you work with someone, you rely on them. Give students an opportunity to work with each other and with the leaders to solve a problem or address a concern. When there is a family in the youth group that is in pain, ask the other students how they can bless or encourage those who are hurting. If there are students that feel disconnected from the rest of the congregation, ask them how they can be more engaged with the church as a whole. Issues and challenges in the church create opportunities for growth and for communities to

be bound together. When we work together, we see each other’s gifts, and see God bringing change in our community.

3. Worshipping Let worship be your source of strength. Do not be afraid to worship with your youth! One of the dreadful pitfalls of youth ministry is the temptation of youth leaders to be buddies and friends with the youth. There is fun in youth ministry but youth leaders are called to be examples of godliness first and foremost. This is most powerfully done by not shying away from the power of God’s word and the glory of our God. It is too easy to have a youth group community that is solely focused on good times and doing nice things for people. When a youth community worships with one another with the goal of reaching out with their God-given gifts in order to build relationships with others through the power of the Holy Spirit, the community ceases to be a club and becomes a church. Worshipping our Lord in community establishes that identity that we all long for and are searching for.

Personal Coach: Cody Statema is the Pastor of Youth and Outreach at Calvary Christian Reformed Church in Edina, MN.

By the time they complete high school nearly 80% of teenagers have consumed alcohol, 30% report having been drunk in the past month, and 29% report having 5 or more drinks in a row in the past two weeks.

-Statistic received from The Facts about Youth and Alcohol”

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EXCEPTIONAL VOLUNTEER

Q & A With Agnes McKnight Marcel: Let’s begin by you telling us a little about yourself. Family, work, etc.

Agnes: I am an older youth worker, 55 years old. I have a husband and three adult children and four grandchildren, three of whom are teens. I work as an Educational Assistant in a kindergarten class in a Christian school. I love reading but never have enough time to read all the good books there are to read. I also love doing counted cross stitch and quilting but those are summer projects.

Marcel: How long have you been volunteering in youth ministry?

Name: Agnes McKnight Role: Volunteer Youth Worker Church: Immanuel Christian Reformed

Hamilton, ON Years: 10+ Advice on Youth Ministry:

“Try it, you may be surprised

how much you LOVE it.”

Agnes: Three years in our present format of joint discipleship time and youth group but at least ten years of Catechism teaching prior to that.

Marcel: You seem to be very busy with being a mother, wife, grandmother, work—how to do you find the time to be a volunteer youth worker?

Agnes: My mother has always told me to slow down and give things up. I have told her that I am just being obedient. She asks, “To whom?” I told her that God has told me more than once that this is an area He wants me to be busy in. If your passion is there, the work is easier. I can go to youth group exhausted and come home more energetic, not less.

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Marcel: There seems to be a delicate balance in your life with the many roles you play—share with us how you go about keeping things in balance?

Anges: Balance is always a difficult thing. There never seems to be enough time to do anything. My first commitment has to be to prayer and scripture reading to guide the rest of my life.

When that is in place, the rest falls into place in better ways. Youth group doesn’t always have to take away from you and be about what you are giving. It often feeds me spiritually, emotionally and physically. I get to do some fun things that many of my peers are not doing anymore. It is a challenge and a joy!

Marcel: Tell us a little about your youth ministry history—in terms of the roles you have played over the years as well as your current role in youth ministry.

Agnes: I remember a gift survey of many years ago where I wrote down an interest in youth ministry. Sure enough the following September I was teaching Catechism. My first few times I was SCARED! I thought that the youth would eat me alive. I wondered what ever possessed me to sign up for this. It didn’t take long to realize that this was an area that I loved and that God had gifted me in. I told our pastor up front that I was teaching about faith. I wanted the kids to make a heart commitment. Once that was in place the head stuff would come.

I don’t think that is what they intended with Catechism but it worked for me. I brought treats regularly as “motivators” and always tried to use current issues in my lessons to help make the teaching meaningful. I shared my struggles and testimony in hopes that by being

This is your chance to nominate one of your faithful and dedicated volunteers as an Exceptional Volunteer. The recipient of this prestigious title will be featured on the front cover of eQuip as well as be interviewed for this featured article.

The process is simple! Send Marcel an email (marcel@youthunlimited.org) explaining why you think your volunteer deserves this title. Please include in your email: * * * *

Your Name, church name and address, and your phone number Volunteer’s name and email address What area of youth ministry they volunteer for What makes them an ‘Exceptional Volunteer’?. (500 words or less please)

This is a great opportunity for you as their youth pastor or pastor to say, “YOU MATTER.”

vulnerable, the youth too would feel safe to share.

The transition year to Hour Of Discipleship plus youth group was tough. I wasn’t sure how I fit into the more fun half of youth group. I struggled too to find my place with the other leaders who were much younger. Part of my motivation for sticking it out was that I have organized our Mentorship Ministry many years (pairing each youth with an adult who prays for them). In order to do that well it was essential to know the kids and where they were at. After a couple of years of learning and adjustments for both the younger and older leaders, we cooperate well by delighting in the energy of the younger leaders and learning wisdom from the older leaders. I think the kids benefit greatly from this multigenerational leadership.

God has also called me to take our youth on [Youth Unlimited] SERVE five times already. Each time I wonder if I am overtaxing my aging body, knowing that [Youth Unlimited] SERVE involves short nights and long days but again this year God gave me more than I needed and blessed the youth and myself in great measures.

Our format for this year again involves our youth pastor introducing topics and youth leaders taking a small group for discussion time. I will also have a youth in my group that we train in leadership, allowing her to lead some of the discussions and organize how our small group will look.

Marcel: Being a volunteer youth worker, what have been your greatest motivations and struggles in ministry?

Agnes: By way of total honesty, I know that one of my main motivators has been the fact that two of my three children have walked away from faith. I know that pain and don’t want that for any other parent. I also know the eternal consequences of that decision and the pain this decision makes in a child’s personal life.

Just this past weekend, I attended the wedding of the first youth prayer partner that I had. It was pure joy to be part of her life and watch her faith grow to a point where she now married a young man who shares her faith for life. (This was an 8-year prayer partner relationship.)

difference! Remember that this is an eternal investment.

Marcel: Any closing remarks, Agnes, that you want to share with people who are considering becoming a volunteer youth worker and/or who have been in the trenches of volunteer ministry for some time?

Agnes: Try it, you may be surprised how much you LOVE it.

Agnes, thank you very much for your willingness to share your passion for youth ministry. You have shared great insights into what it means to be a volunteer youth worker. Thank you.

Personal Coach: Marcel deRegt is the Youth Unlimited Leadership Development Director. He lives in Hamilton, ON with his wife, Monica, and 3 children.

My greatest struggle is watching kids slip under the radar and fade away from youth group. I want them to know that God loves them and that they matter to our group. I struggle to get the teens to invest time and energy in the ‘fringe’ youth.

Marcel: What have you learned over the years that would be helpful to other youth ministry volunteers who might be reading this article?

Agnes: The youth need to know that you care and are willing to spend time with them. A birthday card, an email, a quick phone call can make a big difference.

Pray for your youth often, it makes a

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FAMILY CONNECTION

Impact-Collide/dp/1434764834

A New Youth Ministry Picture I love youth ministry. Always have. It’s crazy, unpredictable and you find God appearing in the lives of youth in moments you’d never expect. At times chaos is the only word picture that works and at other times it’s an orchestra completely in sync.

I love it because it’s a close to perfect picture of our faith life.

There is, however, something missing in the “typical” youth ministry picture. The missing piece is in the area of youth leadership demographics. What I am becoming aware of is the absence of primary influences in the evangelical youth ministry picture. What I mean by primary influences is those adults (parents, relatives, and teachers) that are more influential than we the youth workers (paid or volunteer).

Secular as well as Christian research tells us over and over again that parents and relatives are the most influential people in adolescent’s lives. Regardless of what youth tell us about their parents, the fact remains true: parents, older relatives and schoolteachers are higher up on the influence chart than we are. One survey even revealed that the senior pastor is a more influential person in a young person’s faith journey than youth workers. This one particularly hurt my ego. My senior pastor said he had always known this to be true but enjoyed letting me think otherwise.

Biblically we know from Deut 6:6-7 that it is the duty of the whole community (Israel) to pass on the faith to the next generation.

Though it does not single out parents, verse 7 gives us a further clue as to who

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Recommended Resources: 1. Hold on to your Kids by: Gordon Neufeld www.amazon.ca/Hold-Your-Kids-ParentsMatter/dp/0676974724 2. Family Based Youth Ministry by: Mark DeVries www.amazon.com/Family-Based-YouthMinistry-Devries/dp/0830832432 3. Think Orange by: Reggie Joiner www.amazon.com/Think-Orange-Imagine-

in our North American context is best able to do that. They are those who “sit at home” with our youth, those that daily “get up and lie down” in the same household.

Typically those are parents and other livein adult relatives. We as a church (youth leaders) are a part of the community and are invited to walk along the road of life with them. When we lead youth that do not have God-fearing parents, we as the church are called to become an intergenerational family of faith to them.

Unfortunately within the typical youth ministry leadership demographic, those who

are best able to influence faith are often missing. Though teens will not themselves admit this, the reality is that the more primary influences we have involved in our ministries the closer we come to reflect the intergenerational model God provided in Deut 6. As I look back on leading youth ministry without the involvement of primary influences, I have come to see how our adolescent peer entrenched environments work against us as we help young people understand what it means to belong to God and His people. Youth ministry models that do not reflect the Deut 6 picture of a community of faith graduate students

sting hanging or adju C y. tr is in m h friendly yout d lots of time. imary influence pr a ng ti ea ce (process) an cr en lig di e du , er 10 Steps to s much pray eps list. try picture take practice first st any youth minis st be a ly on is not magical. It The list below is guidance. od’s wisdom and initiatives.

1. Pray for G Based ministry ily am F or N E ge. t iG the way of chan 2. Read abou in ds an st t ha generations. ur heart for w must include all y 3. Examine yo ne ur jo h it fa ur church their 4. Remind yo dparents. uth group gran 5. Adopt yo rations. ren/teens. h the older gene it w er th u do their child ge yo to as es nc 6. Eat ue fl Primary In much time with nguage.

7. Spend as . Talk Deut 6 la id gr ge ua ng la ur 8. Change yo parents. s to get to know er ad le ur yo n ai en leaders.

9. Tr to know their te t ge to s nt re pa 10. Encourage

NUTS & BOLTS

The Art of Appreciation A word to the paid youth worker! who have grown up in a peer-oriented environment as opposed to an intergenerational environment. Often these peeroriented contexts force our high school graduates (who see their peers head off to missions, college and careers) to conclude that their community of faith is no longer a place where they belong. This happens because the belonging environments (which we have created) have largely been defined by a peer community and not the intergenerational community of faith God intended us to be part of.

Let’s not be afraid to slowly make adjustments to the typical evangelical youth ministry picture. Youth ministry will always be chaotic and beautiful because that is the essence of the adolescent journey. Having primary influences involved in your ministry should not impede if done correctly. In my experience the Deut 6 picture produces God appearances in greater abundance if we will welcome more primary influences into ministry.

If you are a primary influence (or an adult aged 35-100) in youth ministry and you feel that pressure, leadership culture, and personal doubt is against you, and yet you know God has called you there, let me encourage you to stay. If you are the youth pastor, director, or leader in charge of recruiting leaders for ministry, prayerfully consider involving more primary influences in your ministry.

Personal Coach: Koen Beugelink has been leading youth at New Life Church in Abbotsford, BC for the last 14 years.

Eating slice after slice of greasy pizza, paying extra for an unlimited texting plan, maintaining control of a van full of crazy teenagers, and spending countless hours investing in the lives of students – your youth leaders need more than a pat on the back! Because appreciating leaders is necessary year round, here are a few ways you can encourage, bless, and appreciate them this fall: Send them a note thanking them for all they do. This couldn’t get any easier with all the modes of communication available!

Utilize Facebook, texting, handwritten notes, e-mails, carrier pigeons, Morse code, or just make a simple phone call.

Find out what each leader prefers and use it as often as possible to send your thanks.

Ask for their input. Because of their direct interaction with students, youth leaders have great ideas about events and teaching topics that are relevant to teenagers.

Asking for their input (and using it!) reveals your interest in what they have to offer and gives them ownership over the ministry.

Spend quality time with them. Many youth workers sacrifice hours upon hours to serve your students, so take time out of your own busy life to serve your leaders!

Don’t have time to spend? Make it! Take them along when you grocery shop, go to the gym, or drop your child off at school.

Let them into your life outside of ministry.

God will do something extraordinary with these seemingly ordinary moments!

Make their job easier. Pick up the pizza for their small group, provide them with cards and postage, give them retreat dates as soon as possible, buy them a Starbucks card to use with students, etc. Making their job easier is a great way to show youth workers that you care.

Provide an outlet for students to express their gratitude. Newsflash: you’re probably not the reason your leaders serve. Rather, most leaders serve out of their love for Jesus and, subsequently, their love for teenagers. When you host a dinner for your leaders, invite students to be waiters/ waitresses. At the end of the meal provide a time for students to thank their leaders.

Providing students with opportunities to say “thank you” might mean more than anything that will ever come from your own lips.

Whatever you do, do it often! Appreciation shouldn’t just come around during Christmas time or the end of the school year. Develop techniques to appreciate your leaders year-round. As a leader of the ministry, appreciation is an art that must be mastered!

Personal Coach: Kaylyn Unterkofler is a Youth Pastor in Chino, CA. She has been working with youth for over seven years.

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NUTS & BOLTS

Meet The Parents If you’re anything like me, the thought of holding a parent meeting brings a vast array of emotions. Stress, worry, doubt, anxiety, paralyzing fear, a lack of motivation – sound familiar?

Here’s the thing – parent meetings don’t have to make you weak in the knees. In fact, they can actually be a good thing! Here are a few ways holding a parent meeting can benefit you as a youth worker: 1. Parents are informed.

We all like to be in the know and your students’ parents are no exception.

Whether it’s a lock-in or a winter retreat, provide parents with information. Something as

simple as information can make parents excited about what your program is providing for their students.

2. Vision gets shared. You have a vision for your youth ministry, right? (If not, quit reading this article, get on your knees, and ask God to give you one!) Your vision probably makes your heart beat fast, gives you the strength of a super hero, and makes you feel like you just downed a case of Mountain Dew. Well, parents need to know what it is! God has entrusted you with this ministry, so don’t be afraid to really own it.

3. You gain credibility. Ministry can be lonely but you don’t have to go about it unaccompanied. When parents understand why you are leading the youth group in a certain direction, they will most likely hop on your train and allow you to take their students there as well. Sharing your heart and the direction God is giving you is a great way to get the congregation on your team.

See? Parent meetings can actually work to your advantage! So when you host one this fall (and you will host one this fall, right?), here are a few things to remember: 1.

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Give parents something to walk away with. When you hold a meeting, make sure parents have something to take home. A simple calendar of scheduled events or list of upcoming teaching topics is a great way to equip parents for the future. You’d be surprised how many parents adapt their family vacations to summer camp or ask their students followup questions to what you’re teaching.

2. Make it fun. There’s nothing like looking at a sea of blank faces. Make your parent meetings something fun to look forward to! Invite parents to participate in a typical “teaser” or “icebreaker” that you use during youth group. Throw out an old ministry t-shirt or two. Opening your meeting with something fun will provide a more comfortable environment for both you and your student’s parents.

3. Anticipate questions that will be asked. Let’s face it, there will be questions. When you have a sleepover, know where the boys and girls will sleep. When you are going through a sexual purity series, know exactly what you’re going to teach (and what you’re not going to teach). When you’re informing parents on a summer trip, be able to estimate the costs.

You are responsible for every student in your youth group, so learn to think like a parent!

4. Be confident. Don’t feel like you have to constantly justify yourself – Christ has already done that for you by creating

you as you and placing this calling upon your life! My favorite verses are 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. Especially in ministry, it reminds me that my weaknesses are not only valid but necessary for Christ’s power to rest on me. Don’t be afraid when you feel attacked or don’t have all the answers. Allowing yourself to be weak, yet confident in who you are and in your calling, allows room for God’s strength to run your ministry.

So, fellow youth minister, if none of this lightens your perception of parent meetings, I pray you find great comfort and strength in Romans 8:31, “If God is for us, who can be against us?”

Personal Coach: Kaylyn Unterkofler is a Youth Pastor in Chino, CA. She has been working with youth for over seven years.

Springfield DC SERVE 2010 coined a new word: Purpling Definition: When you mix the color blue (boy) with the color pink (girl) you get purple. This was their terminology to express that boys and girls should not hook-up, show public displays of affection, be in each others rooms etc.

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EVENTS The first Wednesday of every month, Youth Unlimited opens up its conference line from 1:00 to 1:15 pm EST for you to call in and ask for prayer and be part of our prayer time. There is power in prayer! Join us: In Canada - 888.276.7715 In US - 800.377.8846 Participant passcode - 81810719#

Prayer About 5 months ago, I was sitting in my office with a leader in my church trying to figure out how we were going to raise $22,000 for a group of 18 students and leaders to go on a mission trip to Guatemala this summer. I was stressed, because I knew that these students and leaders could not afford to go on this trip if they each needed to pay their own way. I felt personally responsible for creating a strategy that would solve this problem. So as I went into this meeting, I came with my notepad filled notes and ideas on how we could raise this money. As I began to talk, I overflowed with possibilities and plans. This leader seemed to notice that I was anxious about the situation. Instead of trying to contribute to my plans, he asked me if I had taken the opportunity to pray. Pray? I thought to myself. Ok, we can pray for a few minutes, but then we have to get back to making the plans for fundraising. As I paused to process this idea, he must have sensed my confusion. Then next words he said changed my understanding of prayer forever: “Prayer does not equip us for the greater work, it is the greater work.”

Many times in ministry, I have prayed that God bless the plans I have already made; like saying a prayer after my planning and organizing seals the deal. It’s as if after my prayer, I have God’s stamp of approval on my efforts. Over the past few months, I have come to realize that prayer is a spiritual discipline that is a vital part of ministry. It is not just something I need to throw in there to make sure God will give me the extra blessing or strength that I need. Not only do I need to have a strong personal prayer life, but I also need to convey the importance of prayer to the leadership team.

In order to understand how to use prayer, we must have a clear definition for this spiritual discipline. Prayer is the two-way conversation that believers have with God. There are many reasons to pray. Through these prayers, we can worship God, we ask for things we might need or want, we seek forgiveness and we draw closer to God. Prayer is important because it is a way that we can hear God speak to us and speak to God directly. When we pray, we need to take time to listen to God and hear what he has to say to us. Praying draws us into the presence of God and allows us to know Him more. Although there is no specific format that our prayers must follow, there are certainly many examples of prayers in the Bible from a variety of characters, including Jesus. As we pray, we can do so with our own words or we can even take the prayers of others and use them to express our thoughts to God. Prayer is taking the true, desires of our heart and presenting them to God. Sometimes this might mean that we pray alone, on our knees or even prostrate. Other times it might mean that we

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pray with others while holding hands in a group or even by laying hands on someone in need or prayer.

There are many different ways that you can incorporate prayer as a part of your leadership team meetings. Here are some suggestions for how to prayer together as youth group leaders: 1. Pray a Psalm together. Try Psalm 63 or another Psalm of your choice.

Have each leader pray a verse or two aloud, pausing for thought and reflection.

2. At each meeting, place a chair in the middle and have one leader sit in it. Have the other leaders surround that individual and lay hands on them while offering prayers to God on their behalf. Continue this at each meeting until every leader has been prayed over.

3. At each meeting, take the time to pray specifically for 5-10 students by name. Pray and specific requests that they might need and ask for God’s blessing upon them. Continue to do this until you have prayed for each person in your youth group.

4. Gather together 15 minutes before your group meeting to join hands and take turns offering the things on your hearts to God. 5. Take the words to a worship song or hymn and offer them as a prayer to God as a group.

6. Keep a prayer journal as a team.

Write down the praises and requests together. At the end of the year, look

Psalm 63

1 O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; 7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no 8 My soul clings to you; your right hand water. upholds me.

2 I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.

3 Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.

4 I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

9 They who seek my life will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth.

10 They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.

11 But the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God’s name will praise him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

New International Version (NIV)

6 On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. back at the things you prayed about and see how God has answered them. This is a wonderful way to remember God’s faithfulness to your leaders and youth group.

Praying often together as a leadership team is important for many reasons. First, and probably most important, having a conversation with God as a team opens us up to hearing His will for the youth ministry at the church we are serving. We are able to express the desire to have his guidance and ask for wisdom from him in our planning and decision making. In addition, prayer will keep you unified as a team. By placing God at the center, and regularly seeking him together, you will be brought together by your prayers and desires. Lastly, prayer is a way of giving God your wants, desires and needs for the youth ministry. There are a lot of struggles and challenges that we face while serving in youth ministry. Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

So here I am, 5 months after my conversation with the leader about raising the funds for our Guatemala trip. We placed our requests for help before God, and He has blessed our group more than I could have imagined. Through depending on prayer, our Guatemala team has currently raised over $20,000 for our trip and the money is still trickling in. I am convinced that prayer is not something that we should do; it is something we get to do. Every youth group leadership team needs prayer at the center of their ministry. This is the amazing thing about prayer: “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” (1 John 5:14 NIV). Even though we may not know what the future holds, we know who holds the future.

Kristi Kruithoff is the Director of Youth and Young Adult Ministries at Hillcrest Christian Reformed Church in Hudsonville, MI.

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TEACHING GOD’S WORD Do you worry about money?

3 out of 5 students with credit cards will max them out in their freshman year of college.

Study by Robert D. Manning

YU: The Story Circle Comedian Brian Regan recalls the painful childhood experience of waking up the morning the science project was due.

Brian says, “Waking up that morning…that was fun, huh? Your head would pop off that pillow, ‘Oh, no! That’s due today!’” Brian scrambles and still manages to present something that day. He says, “I brought in a paper cup filled with dirt just hoping that [my teacher would] know I’m an idiot and just walk right on past me just as long as I was holding something.” I laugh every time I hear Brian Regan’s experience of the science fair project because it resonates with human experience all too well. “Oh, no! Youth group is tonight! I had all week to work on a Bible lesson.” From there we go to our dear friend, Google (the Great Big Paper Cup).

If you’ve read through this eQuip magazine, you’ll quickly discover that the target audience this year is not so much for the paid staff member. It’s not for the seminary trained or for those with PhD’s in theology. It’s for those volunteers who faithfully give up their time and energy to help teens grow as disciples of Jesus. The difference between you as the volunteer and Brian Regan as a kid is that (if you are a human living in North America) life is crammed with life-stuff. Work, home, kids, pregnancy, paying loans, running errands… this list goes on. Things stack up against you if you don’t have set aside paid hours to prepare for a Bible lesson, or if you don’t have a seminary education to dip into last minute.

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Okay, the stacks are up against us, yet we’re still left with the challenge to ‘get ‘er done’. If the goal is to provide Bible studies that effectively make disciples of teens, what helpful tips can help us before we go to Google? Are there golden nuggets or types of techniques that can be our guide? The answer: Absolutely.

This article will focus on one teaching technique that we’ll call The Story Circle.

This technique is an interpreted summary of what I learned from Professor Robert De Vries at Calvin Theological Seminary.

The Story Circle tries to take our normal everyday experiences, both the mundane and powerful, and tries to understand it within God’s story. To use more technical jargon, it tries to understand and apply our narrative (our story) inside the context of the meta-narrative (God’s STORY).

So let’s start going through this technique using Matthew 7:25-34. In this passage Jesus invites us not to worry about food and clothes, but focus on the kingdom and God’s righteousness instead. Go ahead and read the passage…

Now let’s go through The Story Circle together: 1. The Point of the Story: As you prepare for your lesson, try to come up with what you think the point of the story is. When you lead teens in a small group, try to come up with an agreed upon theme from the passage. Write that theme down on a large poster board. Take your time

with this one. Struggle through it as it sets the tone for the rest of your study.

2. The Problem of the Story: The goal is to draw stories from yourself and teens that connects to the Point of the Story.

• As you prepare for the lesson,

think of personal experiences

that come to mind when you

read this passage. Are you willing

to share that story with the

teens?

• When someone told you not to

worry, did it help?

• Is it even possible to stop an

emotion like worry?

• What stories would teens be

thinking about when they read

this passage? Stories about

self-esteem? Fighting with

parents? Arguing over what to

wear? Fitting in? Doubt or lack of

faith? Important: Be aware of

teens that may have obsessive-

compulsive disorder or struggle

with anxiety. They know worry all

too well.

• Are there any video clips or

songs that have spoken to you

in terms of worrying (doesn’t

matter what era it comes from)?

• Idea: How about bringing some

magazines for the youth to cut

out stuff we worry about in

today’s culture?

3. Placing our story inside God’s Story: The goal here is to contextualize what

TEACHING GOD’S WORD

happens in our life with the bigger story again. In preparation try to figure out the following bare-bones information (remember, Google is your friend!): • Who wrote/spoke this passage?

Matthew wrote it. Jesus spoke it.

• Where and to whom did he

speak it to? A mountainside

(Sermon on the Mount) to his

disciples.

• Any confession material good to

bring into the discussion?

Heidelberg Catechism Question

and Answer 1.

• Why is it important that Jesus is

speaking to his disciples?

• What does it mean to seek after

the kingdom and God’s

righteousness?

• If Jesus is King, how does this

directly influence my priorities in

life?

• What about the really Big Story

of creation, fall and redemption?

How do your teen’s stories fit

inside that?

time with a particular theme, you are able to dig deeper.

I should conclude with where I started though. Although The Story Circle is effective, it still does take time to prepare for it. Carving out time, whether that be a half hour or two hours, is crucial. Teens immediately sense whether this week’s Bible lesson is a cup of dirt or not (unless the lesson is on the Parable of the Sower, or Mustard seed, or…). So strength as you lead! Do it with a renewed sense of ownership. And remember, the Holy Spirit works through your work, both as you prepare and lead.

Are you afraid of getting injured?

Personal Coach: Mark Knetsch is the Pastor of Youth Outreach/ Discipleship at Immanuel Christian Reformed Church in Hamilton, ON.

Do you worry about being late?

The goal of The Story Circle is to see how God’s Story, the Bible, does indeed speak truth, insight and hope into our current realities. I randomly chose Matthew 7:25-34. But, of course, when you have a series of passages to work with over a longer period of

about d e n r e c n o c u Are yo relationship? your

Do you w o your lororky about s?

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WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT

Prayer Based Youth Ministry I recently attended the Global Leadership Conference where I heard former NFL football coach Tony Dungy speak on being a mentor. He gave testimony on how important it is to seek out mentors and be a mentor. He shared a story about how a piece of wisdom shared years ago by the mentor of his former coach eventually made it all the way to the coach of his son. As I sat and listened, it caused me to reflect on people in my life I consider a mentor. One that stood out was a former teacher. I was not a great student but this man did not look at me through the “lens� of grades but instead for the person I was and who I could become. To this day I reference him when I share my life story.

I encourage you to see yourself as a mentor to the young people in youth group this year. Students need someone who will NOT see their value by how many touchdowns or baskets they score, what grades they get or who their friends are. They need someone who can be a constant word of encouragement; someone who sees their potential and continues to walk beside them through the highest highs and lowest lows.

The calling of ministering to young people is not easy or for the weak but for those who long to see an eternal impact in young people. Are you up for it? God wants to use you in mighty ways. Who knows, maybe someday that same word of encouragement or advice you gave will come full circle and will be given back to your child or grandchild just as it did for Tony Dungy.

Thank you for being a mentor and showing the love of Jesus to young people!

Jeff Kruithof is the Executive Director of Youth Unlimited.

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July 20-24, 2011 Indiana Wesleyan University Marion, Indiana At Live It!, young people will participate in unique experiences in their chosen track, make personal discoveries, explore and build upon their unique gifts, interests and talents. “Pull It Together” worship will be a spiritual catalyst which will challenge and empower participants to live for Christ when they return to their home church and communities.

www.youthunlimited.org/liveit Speakers & Worship Leaders:

Tom Tufts

Jonah’s Wale

Mark Oestreicher

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Jared Hall

Dynamic Youth Ministries Box 7259 Grand Rapids, MI 49510 USA

Youth Unlimited eQuip is a quarterly magazine that is intentional about addressing the needs of the Volunteer Youth Worker. If you are a volunteers, a church without a paid youth worker or a youth pastor with volunteers, eQuip is a must have resource.

It will help the volunteer in areas such as “How to Lead a Bible Study”, “Leadership Development”, “How To Build Community”, “Youth Group Nights” and more.

What makes eQuip unique: • • • •

eQuip is entirely written by Youth Workers and Volunteers for the volunteer youth workers eQuip has no promotional advertisements (other than Youth Unlimited related) eQuip’s focus is the volunteer youth worker eQuip provides a 365 day plan to youth ministry

Nonprofit Org US Postage PAID Grand Rapids, MI Permit No. 931