Equip Magazine_Fall Issue

E Q U I P P I N G TO D AY S V O LU N T E E R YO U T H W O R K E R

THE AUTHENTIC YOUTH WORKER | MISSIONS & JUSTICE: TREND OR TRACTION? | FOOD FOR THOUGHT

JEANNETTE HUISMAN YOUTH JUST WANT TO BE

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LOVED KNOW THAT THEY MATTER

LIVE THROUGH THIS NOW FOR GOD'S GLORY

PITY THE FOOL DISTURBING THE PEACE

EMOTIONAL HIGHS AUTHENTICITY SNIFF TEST FINDING YOUR SWEET SPOT

FALL 2011|VOLUME 9|ISSUE 1

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VISIT THE ALL NEW YOUTHUNLIMITED.ORG

YOUTH UNLIMITED EQUIP MAGAZINE Fall 2011 | Volume 9 | Issue 1 Publication Coordinator | Marcel deRegt Chief Editor | Amy White Contributing Editor | Shari Ilbrink

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Design Director | Jim Bowerman Contributing Writers | Marcel deRegt, Jeff Gates, Mark Knetsch, Ryan Kimmel, Cody Statema, Kaylyn Unterkofler Guest Writers | Syd Hielema, Eleanor Kuyvenhoven, Kevin Lobert Equip Magazine is printed in the United States as a free resource to churches across North America. Equip Magazine is published quarterly by Youth Unlimited, PO Box 7259, Grand Rapids, MI 49510.

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Canada | Canada Post International Sales Agreement #41124116. Return undeliverable Canadian address to: Youth Unlimited Equip Magazine Box 1100, Norwich, ON, N0J 1P0, Canada CONTACT YOUTH UNLIMITED: Executive Director: Jeff Kruithof 616.241.5616 ext. 3043 jeff@youthunlimited.org Leadership Development: Marcel deRegt 616.241.5616 ext. 3062 marcel@youthunlimited.org Missions: Jerry Meadows 616.241.5616 ext. 3040 jerry@youthunlimited.org Events: Millie Hoekstra 616.241.5616 ext. 3063 millie@youthunlimited.org

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“I loved my small group and all the new friends I made. My relationship with Christ was distant but now I have come back to Him.” — Student from Washington DC site

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OPENING NOTE

These statistics won’t surprise you if you have been following any trends regarding ‘churched’ young adults from across North America. It’s a sobering reality! But with any trend or statistic there can be two responses—ignore it or do something about it. I won’t assume anything about your local church, but on a large scale I think the North American church has ignored the situation because many are at a loss about what to do.

worker. You need to begin addressing these four issues in youth group—you can’t wait until they become young adults. By then, it’s often too late.

Our aim is not to make this another program that you need to implement into your youth ministry—that is the last thing we need—but that it becomes part of the framework of how you do ministry.

As a broader Church, we need to collectively start addressing issues like this head on if we desire to see these trends change. But what are the issues?

Equip Magazine is here to serve as a valuable resource as you tackle these important issues. Starting with this issue, and continuing into the next three, we are going to dive deep into these four responses giving practical insights, tools and ideas on how to implement each one into the framework of your youth ministry.

In conversations I have had with youth workers and students in both Canada and the United States, there are four main reasons young adults are leaving the church. Here is what they have said:

We would also love to hear what you are already doing and share it with our readers. Please visit youthunlimited.org today to share what authentic ministry efforts are working for you.

1. Authenticity: Young adults are looking for authenticity in ministry, worship, lifestyle, etc.

Blessings to you as a youth leader as you move forward in authenticity, leadership, truth and mentoring!

2. Truth: In a world where truth has become irrelevant, young adults are looking for strong biblical teaching — not a watered down gospel.

3. Leadership: They are looking for significant roles in leadership.

MARCEL DEREGT Scan here for more on the Church sticking together.

4. Listening: Young adults desire to be heard and respected for their thoughts, feelings and insights.

It’s time to be proactive! Can the trends change? Absolutely! It’s going to take some work and some serious intentionality on your behalf as a youth

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goo.by/wjm0Mr

Before They Say Goodbye is a proactive project to help parents, pastors, and leaders prepare their children, youth and young adults to deal with many of the challenges of faith they are facing.

David Sawler, author of the Goodbye Generation Book Series, has collaborated with twenty gifted generational workers from around the world to give ideas, advice and resources to help this generation remain strong in their faith. Before They Say Goodbye is a book that every parent, children's, youth and young adult worker and minister should read.

For more information on books, speaking and prices visit: beforetheysaygoodbye.com

Equip Special Offer: 10 Books for $100* *Free Shipping in NA

Contents OPENING NOTE: Tackle Head On........................................ pg. 4 the authentic youth worker ...................................... pg. 6 live through this now for god's glory ................ pg. 8 authentic theology .......................................................... pg. 9 authenticity sniff test ...............................................pg. 10 missions and justice: Trend or Traction?...............pg. 12 experiencing the land of the bible ......................pg. 14 pity the fool .......................................................................pg. 16 emotional highs ................................................................pg. 17 food for thought ............................................................. pg. 20 ii faced: Challenging Youth on Their Own Hypocricy and Inauthenticity................................pg. 21

Disturbing the peace: The Difficult Job of Dealing With Someone You Disagree With............................... pg. 22

youth just want to be loved and know they matter: An Interview with Jeannette Huisman.........................pg. 24

questions from apples ................................................ pg. 25 finding your sweet spot ............................................. pg. 26

Not sure what these boxes are?

They are QR codes: two-dimensional barcodes that can be read by smart phones.

Own a smart phone?

1. Download the app.

LECRAE

TRAILS OF STARDUST: FOLLOWING CHRIST & LOVING MUSIC PG. 18

2. Scan the code.

Hold your phone over the a code and use its camera

and a QR app to to read the QR code.

3. Enjoy!

The QR code will direct you to a site, a video, music,

photo or other goody.

No smart phone?

Look for the link at the bottom of the page.

This photo of Lecrae is owend and copyrighted by Zach Wolfe Photography and appers coutsey of Reach Reccords

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hen Mother Teresa died in 1997, she was commonly regarded as the most inspiring Christian in the world. Her work with lepers and other dying souls in Calcutta came to epitomize embodying the love of Christ, and her statements such as, “The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted,” changed the way we looked at suffering.

No one was surprised when Pope John Paul II declared her to be an official (Roman Catholic) saint only four short years after her death.

But millions of us were very surprised when her personal journals were published and her profound doubts and struggles with believing in God become public knowledge. This is one of her prayers: Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love—and now become as the most hated one—the one—You have thrown away as unwanted— unloved. I call, I cling, I want—and there is no One to answer—no One on Whom I can cling—no, no One. Alone...Where is my faith—even deep down right in there is nothing but emptiness and darkness. My God—how painful is this unknown pain—I have no faith—I dare not utter the words and thoughts that crowd in my heart and make me suffer untold agony.

So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them because of the blasphemy. If there be God—please forgive me. When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul. I am told God loves me—and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart?

THE AUTHENTIC YOUTH WORKER

How do those of us in ministry respond to this huge gap between the public and the private Mother Teresa? Was she a hypocrite who didn’t have the courage to be authentic? Are we even more inspired that someone who struggled so profoundly with God could still minister in His name so richly? Or are we just plain confused?

1. AUTHENTIC MINISTRY FLOWS FROM APPROPRIATE TRANSPARENCY. 2. IN AUTHENTIC MINISTRY, WE ARE CALLED TO BE OURSELVES. 3. IN AUTHENTIC MINISTRY, WE NAME OUR WOUNDS AND MINISTER ACCORDINGLY. 4. AUTHENTIC MINISTRY GROWS INTO INTERNAL AUTHORITY.

I’m in the camp that found her witness even more inspiring after I glimpsed a bit from her journals. And I believe that her story serves us well as we ponder what it means to be authentic in youth ministry.

5. AUTHENTIC MINISTRY PRAYS FOR SOFTENED CLAY. 6. AUTHENTIC MINISTRY NEEDS THREE DIFFERENT TYPES OF TEAMS.

Let me tell you why: 1. Authentic ministry flows from appropriate transparency. Authentic ministry is honest, but it does not spill its guts about every little detail of our lives. In ministry, I am called to discern

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SYD HIELEMA

"Authentic ministry prays for softened clay. One of my students told me that he had heard Bill Hybels ask, “Are you too busy doing God’s work for God to do His work in you?”

What a great question! Yes, God does His work through us, but often, more importantly, He needs to do His work in us!"

how I might be privileged to bless others, and that discernment helps me to see what is appropriate. When a depressed teen is sharing his struggles with me, I know that I usually can enhance his sense of safety when I mention just a bit about my own ups and downs. When a youth ministry colleague describes some discouragements, I am primarily called to listen, but it might be appropriate for me to empathize with a brief discouragement story of my own. But it’s hard to imagine how a dying leper would be blessed by hearing of Mother Teresa’s feeling of being abandoned by God. Similarly, if I’m in the midst of a significant conflict with a family member, and the conflict is getting worse instead of better, I’d be foolish to tell the story to my youth group as a lesson illustration. I use stories from my own life in my ministry as much as I can, but I’ve tried to develop an on/off switch that tells me where the likeliest blessings might come from.

2. In authentic ministry, we are called to be ourselves. Mother Teresa had a rich servant’s heart, and that servant's heart wasn’t diminished by her doubts.

She found her niche in the kingdom and shone the light of Jesus out of that niche. On my first day in a new position (and scared silly), an older gentleman put his arm around my shoulder and said, “Syd, just be yourself and you’ll be fine.” I’m a slow learner when it comes to knowing what that means, but I still found his advice comforting. I have learned that I’m a classic introvert; early on in youth ministry I tried to be the social butterfly (I thought ministry required it), and I wondered why I was continually exhausted. Now I’m happy to let myself be the introvert that I am, and let other leaders take on the butterfly roles.

3. In authentic ministry, we name our wounds and minister accordingly. Every single one of us ministers with the wounds that life has left us with. I’m the oldest child born into a home that had emigrated from Europe with no money two years before my birth. I

grew up with an intuited sense that work and achievement defined my worth as a human being. Something in me wants to do youth ministry that way—pushing all the leaders on the team to embody that spirit (and I’ve seen teams that are like this). If I would minister out of this default mode, I would simply be inflicting my wounds on the team and on the youth group. I’ve had to learn to name the wound and invite the Spirit to transform my defaults so that two things happen: (a) I can still work hard and seek to achieve good things, while (b) I can let go and trust in God’s faithful and gracious provision that does not depend on my achievements.

4. Authentic ministry grows into internal authority. At the end of the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew tells us that, “the crowds were amazed at Jesus’ teaching, because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law” (Matthew 7: 28-29). Do you catch the paradox here? The teachers of the law had all the official authority.

They were the teachers. Jesus had no official authority at all, but he taught as one who had true authority. True authority comes from within when the Spirit confirms our calling. In my earliest years in ministry, a voice inside me told me to put on a kind of “authority-mask” (I looked like I was about 18 years old and that made me nervous); you can guess how effective that was. Now I’ve learned to trust that when I practice appropriate transparency, be myself and lead out of an awareness of my wounding, the authority will come on its own as the Spirit confirms my call.

5. Authentic ministry prays for softened clay. One of my students told me that he had heard Bill Hybels ask, “Are you too busy doing God’s work for God to do His work in you?” What a great question!

Yes, God does His work through us, but often, more importantly, He needs to do His work in us! And that requires our clay to be softened so that the divine potter can mold it. I’m often afraid to do ministry with softened clay. A voice inside me says, “I’ve got to be solid; I’ve got to be firm; I’ve got to be the rock that’s there for the kids.” Not true. I’m just their older brother in the Lord, and He’s still working on me, too. Authentic ministry makes itself available for that hard work.

6. Authentic ministry needs three different types of teams. There’s something profoundly individual about authenticity, and there’s a link between

Syd Hielema is a Professor and Chaplin at Redeemer University College, Ancaster, Ontario

our culture’s hunger for authenticity and its lone-ranger individualism. But authentic ministry can never function lone-ranger style; it needs three different types of teams: (a) it needs a leadership team in which one person’s gifts cover the next person’s gaps. I’m a good teacher and she’s a good organizer. I’m an introvert and he’s the social butterfly; (b) it needs small encouragement groups with folks from different congregations where joys and sorrows can be freely shared, wise venting (oxymoron?) can occur, and mutual prayer takes place. As a youth pastor, I met with four other youth pastors once a month for lunch, sharing and prayer—and it was a lifeline!; (c) it needs a small discipleship group in which I have NO leadership responsibilities at all, but attend as a brother or sister in Christ with fellow disciples.

Each of these three settings addresses a different need that flows from our call to be authentic.

Peter had a hard time being authentic.

His mouth was often bigger than his life, and it got him into trouble from time to time—climaxing in the triple denial of Jesus during Jesus’ trial. In John 21, after the resurrection, Jesus pulls him aside and asks, “Do you truly love me?” Peter replies, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you,” but what is so interesting is that he uses a weaker word for love (in Greek) than the one Jesus used in his question. It’s like he’s saying, “I used to be a fake, but now I know who I am and I know my wound. I just better be honest with you.”

Imagine if Jesus had said, “Oh, that’s sad that you’re using such a weak word for love.

Spend some time getting your life back together and when you’ve recovered, let me know and we’ll see if you’re called to ministry?” But instead Jesus says just the opposite: “Feed my lambs, take care of my sheep, feed my sheep” (see John 21:15-17).

Peter has learned to be authentic, to be real, and Jesus notices and commissions him for ministry. We’re not called to be spiritual superstars; we’re called to be authentic.

That other great New Testament apostle had a similar experience. Paul thought his thorn in the flesh would interfere with his ministry, so he prayed three times for God to take it away. But the Lord replied, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). And that beautiful reply is still true for all of us today: as authentic children of God, we minister as we are, and through His all-sufficient grace, His power continues to be made perfect in our weakness.

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LIVE THROUGH THIS NOW FOR GOD’S GLORY JEFF GATES

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few years ago, my family went huge part of ministry. He said, “Jeff, look through one of the hardest times at what’s happening in your life as your of our lives. We had just had our ministry and testimony to the church. Live second son, Gabriel. He was a beautiful, through this now for God’s glory and then healthy baby aside from a little jaundice share the story as a testimony of God’s that caused him to be very sleepy for call and example in your life for the growth the first two weeks of his life. However, of the church. You’re living the ministry 24 as soon as the jaundice disappeared, hours a day. Live it well!” the colic began. Our precious little baby With those few words, my pastor cried in pain for the next four months. My articulated the truth that my personal wife, Cheryl, who suffers from a chronic life is my ministry just as much as the illness, could not carry him, so her parents things I do as a youth pastor. It’s not just travelled across the country and moved about what I do for the students. It’s not in to help. Mom, Dad, and I took turns just how well I preach or teach or lead a carrying and trying to console Gabriel, small group that makes a difference in the taking care of Cheryl and Jack (our then lives of youth. It’s who I am that matters. one-year-old son) and trying to get some Authenticity in the personal lives of much-needed sleep. Eventually Gabriel leaders makes all the difference. started crying less and we all breathed Jesus is the perfect example of this. In a sigh of relief. The relief did not last theology, we separate the person of Jesus long, however, as Dad, who seemed to be from His work in order to understand each a model of good health, started having more methodically, but the person and tingling in his hand. After several tests, he work of Jesus can’t was admitted to the He said, “Jeff, look at what’s be separated. Who hospital. A few days happening in your life as your Jesus was (person) later, Dad had a brain and what He did hemorrhage that left ministry and testimony to (work) are completely the church. Live through this him in a coma. The intertwined. Jesus did doctors could give us now for God’s glory and then what He did because no indication whether share the story as a testimony of who He was. His he would ever wake up. of God’s call and example in ministry would have your life for the growth of the Needless to say, we no depth or power were all quite a mess! church ..." or endurance if He As a youth pastor, wasn’t who He said He was. He said He I was really struggling to know how to was God, and He was (and still is!). Jesus balance family and ministry during this was completely authentic. He was the extended family crisis. At one point, I sat real thing. He was who He said he was. He down with my senior pastor and asked did what He said he would do. He healed him if he thought I should step away for people because He really cared about a while since I wasn’t able to give the them—not just because He was supposed students what I thought they needed to. He walked with humanity because He from me. His response made clear to me truly loves people. how authenticity in personal life is such a

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Students want leaders who follow Jesus’ example of authenticity. They want leaders who are who they say they are— leaders who really love them and are real with them. They want people who live what they teach day in and day out—leaders who really love Jesus and regularly spend time with Him through prayer and reading the Bible. They want leaders who actually do what they are teaching others to do because they really believe it’s important.

Students want leaders who are authentic.

Christian leadership is not just about who you are in public. It’s about who you are at church, at home, at work, at play.

It isn’t about being perfect. Jesus is the only One who could do that authentically.

Rather, it’s about being honest about the journey toward holiness, because that journey is not easy! It’s filled with ups and downs, joys and sorrows, successes and failures. Christian leadership is about being open about the struggle and forging ahead while inviting others to follow. It’s about authenticity between our private, personal life and our public life.

Our desire as youth leaders is for students to grow in their relationship with Jesus and to live a healthy, balanced life that honors God. The first step toward helping them is doing that ourselves and leaning on God to help us. If we teach something we are not doing or striving to do in our own personal lives, then we are not being authentic, and students will not trust us.

But it’s very easy to get out of balance in ministry because we care so much about our youth. Ministry can be a detriment to our personal walk with Jesus if it becomes more important than our own personal walk with Jesus. When that happens we lose our effectiveness in the very thing

MARK KNETSCH

A U T H E N T I C T H E O L O G Y

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uthenticity is basically about being real. Youth can smell inauthenticity a mile away. They can tell if you are faking it. They can tell if you are unprepared for a youth group event. They can tell if you actually like what they like. They can tell if you are trying to talk like them just to sound cool.

However, is inauthentic theology easy to spot for our students? I’m not so sure. As youth workers we have a huge task ahead of us because we are supposed to teach what the Bible actually says about God and His story.

Recently, our youth group went to a citywide event with other youth groups. About 200 youth joined together from different denominations to worship and serve our city. A number of youth pastors spoke at different points throughout the day. One youth pastor gave a five-minute mini-sermon on the parable of the Good Samaritan. Here’s a rough outline of that sermonette. See if you can catch the theological problem with it: 1. Jesus describes the story about a Samaritan helping out a dying person.

we are trying to do. Sometimes it’s easier to tell ourselves that we need to plan another event, have another coffee with a student or make another call in order to care for youth than it is to nurture our own relationship with Jesus.

It’s important to regularly ask ourselves some important questions: Are we modeling a healthy, balanced lifestyle?

Does the use of our time reflect a healthy balance between family and ministry?

Between our spiritual lives and financial lives? Between our recreational pursuits and intellectual growth?

Authenticity in our personal lives greatly impacts our ministry. I took to heart my senior pastor’s words during the hard time in my life that I mentioned earlier.

For six weeks my father-in-law lay in a coma and never woke up. A few months later, I shared with our church the story of our journey through that difficult time.

My authenticity through that situation was probably one of the most powerful messages I could ever give.

What’s the hardest part about being authentic for you? Maybe you need to work on a healthy balance in your own life. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to step out of ministry to do so. We are incapable of being perfect. That’s where God steps in. Recognize and admit the problem.

Confess that problem to God. Make a plan to change the problem and, if appropriate, share the struggle with your fellow leaders and students! Ask for their prayers and share what God does! That’s authenticity!

2. We, too, should be helping out the Samaritan’s in our own lives.

3. The expert of the law asks a question before the parable: “What must I do to inherit eternal life?”

4. The answer: Be like the Samaritan who loved and served unconditionally.

Once the youth pastor sat down, I had a hard time processing what I had heard.

What was the core theme of this message that a sanctuary filled with youth just absorbed? Any alarm bells going off in your theological mind?

Take a moment to journal your thoughts before continuing on.

Let’s recap this often-told story to see what the parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:25-37 actually teaches us. Before Jesus tells the story, an expert of the law asks the question, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus replies that loving God with our whole heart, soul, strength and mind saves us and that we must also love our neighbor as ourselves. Jesus says that if you do this, (loving God and neighbor) you will live. The story of the Good Samaritan does NOT come immediately after this explanation as an illustration of how to be saved. Instead, the expert in the law asks Jesus another question, “Who is my neighbor?” The parable of the Good Samaritan is Jesus’ answer to this question. He teaches that our neighbors are people we might normally consider our enemies—like Samaritans were to Israelites.

Jesus first told the expert of the law that loving God and our neighbor is what leads to life. The problem is that we have a natural tendency to hate God and our neighbor (see Heidelberg Catechism Q/A five, or Ephesians 2:1-3), thus we need God’s grace and the Holy Spirit to change our hearts to love Him and our neighbor.

Paul put it best in Ephesians 2:8-10: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Am I just being theologically picky? Is this just a small thing? Well, if getting the simple message of the gospel wrong is a small thing then we’ll have to redefine the word small. It is no small thing saying things the Bible does teach, even if it sounds profound, insightful, or challenging.

How do you ensure that you are being theologically authentic? Plenty of resources out there are willing and ready to sell you theological material that will get your youth thinking. But the best way to spot authentic or inauthentic Bible teaching is by knowing the Word. Remember 2 Timothy 3:16-17? “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” Knowing Scriptures is the essential ingredient to spotting flawed theology.

As tools for interpreting Scripture, the church has also gifted us with sound theological tools like the Heidelberg Catechism, The Belgic Confession, and Canons of Dort. Reading and teaching through these helpful documents are gaining in popularity again. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read in our annual evaluation of Hour of Discipleship (aka catechism), youth are asking that we learn more about the Heidelberg!

Teaching authentic theology is a huge responsibility, but also a wonderful experience. Stay close to God’s Word. Know the basic confessions. Meet with your pastor or youth pastor to serve you in your calling to lead students in Bible study.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions, even if you think they are simple. Pray before each lesson that the Holy Spirit will use you and any other youth group volunteers to speak the truths in the Bible in love. Strength as you teach what is theologically real!

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HENTICIT T Y AU

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TEST F F I

WORSHIP | PRAYER | DEVOTION | SIN CODY STATEMA

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couple of years ago I was sitting in a gathering of pastors and youth pastors at a local Christian school and as we were going around the tables introducing ourselves, one of the required questions we were asked in addition to our name, church, and position, was this: What do you do for your devotional life to grow personally in your faith? Most replied in the way you would expect by detailing the book of scripture they were working through at the moment or the use of a particular devotional.

What shocked me, though, was the number of individuals in this group—all Christian pastors and youth pastors—who did not have an answer and eventually would mumble out a response like, “I listen to music.” One guy actually droned proudly, and I will remember this for the rest of my life, “Well I don’t really like to read, I think, uh, it’s boring, but I grow in my faith through listening to, uh, music and then thinking about the lyrics.” In the course of this eight-second response, I questioned the foundation for this man’s faith.

So can only avid readers work with youth?

Can only those who get up three hours before dawn to pray for their churches serve as a leader? Do you have to shut off all music and never reflect on the spiritual implications of music? No, of course not, God has made us all uniquely. However, there is one prerequisite for ministry and particularly youth ministry: You must be striving for authenticity.

If you are in youth ministry and you are not struggling daily to be authentic, you need to get out of the game...now. There is no room for you; the stakes are too high. I am sick and tired of hearing about youth leaders who are teaching the Bible at 10

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7:00 PM and sexually assaulting a young girl in that same group at 9:00 PM. I am exhausted with youth leaders who have an incessant need to be admired, liked and adored and never actually speak God’s life-giving word to a student struggling with alcohol abuse. I am frustrated with those claiming to minister to youth who do not know their Bible, let alone care to read it.

If you happen to be reading this yet, please know that you do not have to be perfect to be a youth leader. I definitely am not perfect (my wife can attest to that truth!). God calls us, imperfect as we are, to be His servants.

As imperfect servants, though, we rely on the Holy Spirit to fill us and make our service Christ-Honoring. An authentic youth leader, then, is one who recognizes his own sinfulness, loathes it and humbly battles against it daily through the power of Christ. Is this easy? No way! However, if you are called to lead youth to Christ, the struggle to grow in authenticity is an essential one. If we fail, we admit it; if we fall, we humbly seek help; if we sin, we repent.

Jesus concludes His sermon on the mount in Matthew 5-7 with these words in chapter seven: “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” The issue at stake here in this passage is not just in hearing Jesus’ words but actually putting His words into practice! The doing, the practicing of the beliefs we claim in our every day, is crucial to an authentic faith.

Youth today want leaders, pastors and church members who are genuinely shaped by the beliefs that they claim.

They want to see that it matters. They want desperately to know that the Word

of Christ is solid as a rock. They want truth, and we are the ones called to give it to them. They want to know that the sin they struggle with in their lives is not the ultimate authority in their lives but that the promise in Romans 10:13 is true that, “All who call on the name of the Lord will be saved!”

So what is the authenticity sniff test? How do we humbly gauge our own authenticity?

I believe it is found on the Rock.

The people I respect for their authenticity are always firmly founded on the Rock of Christ’s Word. It is little wonder that there are 15 different psalms where the psalmist proclaims God to be his Rock.

Psalm 62:2 boldly celebrates, “He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken, ” Not to mention the joyful cry in Psalm 18:46, “The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God my Savior!” When we are in need of salvation or in the midst of great praise, we should be founded on the Rock. When we are blessed with an authentic faith, our feet are firmly founded on Christ and God’s Word. Whether they can articulate it or not, our youth desire those they can look to who can show them, by word and deed, an authentic God-glorifying faith that is humbly thriving in the heart of a broken person just like them.

Do you have to be perfect to lead youth?

No. But you better be striving daily for authenticity in your faith. Our students deserve someone who not only knows God’s Word but lives it out! In the end, we all must thank the Lord for His tremendous grace to do what we are called to do, because I, for one, do not know why a broken man like me is called to serve the youth of Christ’s Kingdom.

KATY DRIESENGA

JOURNEY THROUGH THE LAND OF THE BIBLE JUNE 16-JULY 1, 2012, JOIN YOUTH UNLIMITED AND YOUTH WORKERS FROM ACROSS NORTH AMERICA ON A UNIQUE STUDY & SERVICE EXPERIENCE THAT WILL TRANSFORM YOU & ENHANCE YOUR MINISTRY.

REGISTRATION OPEN NOW. FOR MORE INFORMATION, VISIT YOUTHUNLIMITED.ORG OR CONTACT YOUTH UNLIMITED AT ISRAEL@YOUTHUNLIMITED.ORG – COST IS $3,875 FROM CHICAGO AND $3,795 FROM TORONTO This journey through the land of the Bible is also part of a credit course in the Youth Ministry Certificate Program offered at Redeemer University College. For more information, visit redeemer.ca/youthministrycertificate (Additional fees will apply). youthunlimited.org

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Missions & JUSTICE TREND OR TRACTION? JERRY MEADOWS

H

ow often do our students apply compassion and hope to the hearts and lives of those in need?

To help students reach this world for Christ, they need concrete, achievable goals set by their youth leaders and the local church.

The old saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink,” fits this situation. We can lead students on mission trips, but can we make them think?

Strategic thoughts will precede great (commission) plans. Lack of thinking and planning on our part as youth leaders will produce students who ... : a) have a superficial view of God’s work around the world. God will seem weak and His work boring. b) have no practical understanding of how God can use them to help reach the world. c) are out of touch with needs in their area & therefore seem apathetic or uncaring. d) don’t know the difference between pity and God-honoring empowerment.

Students are hungry to be moved.

Students in-love with Jesus long to see a connection between their church attendance and the power of God and world transformation.

When students live-out and speak the gospel message into the hearts and lives of those in need, they tend to recognize their own needs (even if they are vastly different). This is a huge inspiration to

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spiritual growth and a thirst for more ministry opportunities.

Now, back to mission trips. Determining where to take our students on that next student mission trip is not the big question we should be concerned with. We now live in a world saturated with numerous so-called "mission trip" opportunities.

However, the big question with our teens should be whether or not weaving missions into the fabric of our youth ministry will actually deepen their understanding of God’s heart.

To do this we need to set some achievable goals of our own. Here are a few areas in which you can set these goals.

Teaching – Outline how you will define "a lifestyle of missions" in your teachings.

Decide what you are teaching on and how you will inspire your students to prayer and action with: Stories of God’s work around the world.

Your denomination's mission site and The Voice of the Martyrs by Mission Network News are a great place to start.

Cultural insights from other countries and/or communities. Ask your church missionary for testimonies of God’s power, love, wisdom etc.

Examples of Godly justice applied to real life and Bible stories. For instance, tie stories of modern slavery into the story of Joseph in the Old Testament or talk about causes of modern hunger when teaching on the exodus.

Expanding Methodology – The question is not, “Where are you going?” It is, “How are you involved?” Every student ought to have an answer.

Expect every Christian student to be involved in missions in some way. Set goals in major areas of involvement: prayer, correspondence (video skype with a missionary every month), giving (gifts or money – don’t let students give their parents' money) and being active locally, regionally and globally.

Get students involved in Christ’s work outside the church building. You could plan a local mission opportunity every six weeks so students are continually involved. You’ll need perseverance.

Help students be creative and use their unique skill sets and gifts to be involved in missions. Check out the story of Tom's Shoes or Dance 4 Kids Who Can't.

Establishing a post trip process.

Make sure there is a relational follow-up process. If you are going on a trip, set goals of how to challenge your students to integrate what they’ve learned into their daily life. Ask the sending partners to be follow-up partners and equip them with three to five great questions to ask.

Help students form a plan for individual and group action to stay involved. Send a strong message that they can do just as much, or more, after they return home as while they were away.

Jerry Meadows is the Missions Director at Youth Unlimited as well a veteran in youth ministry

for more information, contact us at equip@youthunlimited.org youthunlimited.org

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ELEANOR KUYVENHOVEN

EXPERIENCING THE LAND OF THE BIBLE I

f you knew me, you would know that I love books—books are like mentors to me. It was because of a book given to a student and the student challenging me to do what it said (create a “bucket list”) that I went to Israel with Youth Unlimited. This trip was perfect for me; I had always wanted to experience the Land of the Bible and to do it with fellow youth workers was icing on the cake. Little did I know what a life-changing experience it would be—probably one of the best experiences of my life!

It is nearly impossible to articulate all that I experienced, but what follows are just a few of my highlights.

The journey started by living with a Palestine host family in Bethlehem for the first five days. Each of these days started at Bethlehem Bible College with our guides teaching the group about the culture, the different regions and time periods we would experience as we visited the many sites of the Bible. Another wonderful benefit to spending the first days in Bethlehem was the community that developed while being immersed in the eastern culture through serving at the Aida Refuge Camp, a home for moderately intellectually-disabled youth and young adults, and helping a Palestine Christian save his land from Israeli take-over

by working it and harvesting wheat by hand. My heart was broken when I began to grasp the complicated religious and political conflict in this region. And yet I heard of such a longing for peace. Before departing for the desert we visited a firstcentury shepherd's cave (similar to what Jesus would have been born in) and the Herodian. Seeing the mountain, palace and swimming pool built by Herod, it is obvious why people called him paranoid, evil and a genius. Leaving Bethlehem we headed towards the desert, stopping to witness Bedouin shepherds grazing their sheep similar to the stories in the Bible. We also hiked to the top of Azekah; a small tel overlooking the Elah Valley where David killed Goliath—powerful, life-changing teachings took place at each stop!

Next was Arad, where our group spent three days visiting biblical sites in or near the Negev Desert. Walking in the desert, experiencing all the rocks, heat and lack of water, forced me to wrestle with why God brings his people to the ‘desert’. These sites definitely gave me a sense of how vulnerable and small (dependent) I am and who God is. One of my highlights here was the Dead Sea –it looks inviting (water in the desert), but it is not what it seems; what else in life is like this? A second was En Gedi, here I was overwhelmed by God’s

deep love for us through the picture of water. A constantly flowing fresh water fall in the desert, critical for survival! I was taught this is not a place God calls me to live, but a place He calls me to continually visit as I live in the world. Jesus is my En Gedi! And I pray through the Holy Spirit I can be an En Gedi to the youth I serve.

Next our group headed north to Mount Arbel. From the top of this hill we could see most of Galilee and across the Sea of Galilee. Places like Tiberias, Capernaum, Mt. of Beatitudes, Bethsaida, Jordon River, the hills leading up to the Decapolis and more could all be seen. We spent three days in Galilee and our hotel was on the Sea of Galilee; I got to swim in the Dead Sea and the Sea of Galilee—they could not be more different. I also got a boat ride in a replica of one from Jesus’ day (just bigger)—another one of my perceptions shattered! There were several highlights in Galilee. The first was in Gamla, sitting in a synagogue from the time of Jesus and hearing scripture read. A second was at Susita, hearing the story of the demonpossessed man and how God used him to impact thousands. A third was walking the shore of Capernaum and seeing where James and John dropped their nets to follow Jesus and why they did so with such little thought.

Eleanor Kuyvenhoven is a youth worker from Maitland River Community Church in Wingham, Ontario

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and was also a participant on the Youth Unlimited 2011 leadership development trip to Israel.

After leaving Galilee our group spent the final few days in Jerusalem. It was here that I got to walk were Jesus walked during the Passion Week. I stood on the Mount of Olives, I took communion in the Garden of Gethsemane, I experienced the busyness and cobbled streets of the market place that Jesus walked on his way to Golgotha, I saw a first century tomb similar to what Jesus would have been placed in and more.

It was truly an overload in my sensory department!

During my time in Israel and Palestine, I was often overwhelmed with the deep love God has for me! My heart, soul and mind were spiritually nourished with a downpour of fresh rain. God says in Psalm 34:8, “Taste and see that the Lord is good!”

I did, and He is! As a result, I returned home feeling empowered, inspired and excited to continue building the Kingdom, not just for my youth group—but wherever I go.

Please allow me to plant a seed: seriously pray about being part of this experience next year; it will change your life! I know for me it will bear fruit in the days and years to come.

I am so humbled to be a Kingdom Builder and so thankful to Youth Unlimited for creating this opportunity, what a tremendous blessing!

"Great article on youth and hiding stuff (I am angry), it gives a new look on what we as youth leaders need to be doing. That is asking the difficult questions in order to challenge their lives."

— Mike

"As a brand-spanking new youth leader, I just read through the Summer 2011 issue of Equip (I had no idea this was coming) and I'm feeling very encouraged by your support and excited by all the new aspects of ministry yet to explore.

I'm a little nervous to begin, but I believe with lots of prayer for guidance, the support of the parents and our church council and using Equip as a resource, I can be well-used and grow in wisdom.

I have a lot of questions, so get ready."

— Amy

"I haven't been receiving the Equip Magazine for a bit now and was recently given a copy from our principal at the school. I had a chance to read most of it waiting for appointments and was impressed with the new format. There are some great articles and relevant topics in the latest issue! I was wondering if you could sign me up again."

— Sonja

Are you perusing Equip and thinking "Wow, I would love to comment on this?" Or maybe you just feel like telling us what you had for breakfast. Either way, visit youthunlimited.org to send us a message with your thoughts and/or comments and stay tuned for them in the next issue of Equip Magazine. youthunlimited.org

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PITY THE FOOL CODY STATEMA

S

everal weeks ago, I was sitting in a McDonald's waiting for repairs to be completed on my vehicle which was in the shop next door. As I was reading in my booth, sipping my orange Hi C, a middle-aged man approached a table of high school guys hanging out for lunch and asked them directions to the main road that was approximately half a mile away.

The guys, well-meaning as they were, had no idea where the road was, giving the man three different directions he could take.

What was interesting, though, is that when they were first asked where the road was, they all immediately replied, “I don’t know.”

Yet they couldn’t just leave it there and allow the man to move on to someone else to seek the answer he needed.

It is not fun to be in the dark and have to admit to someone that you have absolutely no idea what they are talking about or don’t know the answer to a question they may ask. You can pretend you know what is going on, make up answers and hope they won’t catch on so you can do some research later, or you can admit your lack of knowledge and receive an education.

Proverbs 18:2 says that, “Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.” I don’t want to

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be a fool and be smacked around Mr. T style when I am found caught in an opinion that I am passing off as truth. As youth leaders, we have a great temptation to become fools in this sense. Who wants to admit to a student that they can’t list off where in the Bible it talks about sex before marriage?

Likewise, who wants to concede that they do not know what Heaven will truly be like?

It is so much easier to offer an opinion like, “Heaven will be wonderful; it will be the best thing you can imagine! And since I love M&Ms, in Heaven I will live in a warehouse full of M&Ms!” (This was an actual answer given by a Bible teacher to a good friend of mine in her high school Bible class.)

Youth pick up on frauds quicker than most and remember them much longer. This is why a youth leader who is acting like a “fool” is not going to last long with her students. So when the inevitable question arises that you do not know how to answer, what should you do?

First, admit you do not know how to answer!

Youth do not necessarily want to know all the answers as much as they want someone to be honest with them. A fool’s delight is in “airing their opinions” not in seeking understanding with others. So if you do

not know how to respond to a question use these three words, “I don’t know.”

Second, ask for some time to research how to respond, and make a plan to follow up.

Seek the understanding you need. I am so thankful when someone takes the time to give me a response that is meaningful because it communicates to me that the other person cares for me and cares about the truth.

Third, seek help yourself. I was instructed by a mentor years back that I needed to fill my life with people who are more mature in their faith than I am. I was promised that the wisdom of these individuals would be more valuable than gold. When I am at a loss, they often can fill in the blank or at least direct me to someone who may be able to help.

You don’t have to be a walking encyclopedia. Honesty is valuable to youth today. So if you don’t know how to respond to them, love them enough to let down your guard and seek answers together.

In this way, we seek not only truth but wisdom as well.

I

t was the end of an amazing weekend youth retreat. The messages over the course of the weekend were incredible.

God was working in the hearts of those present, and there were great questions and discussions during the small group times. On Saturday night, we were circled around the bonfire singing praises while a couple acoustic guitars played. Then the floodgates opened and one teen after another confessed their sin, shared about their decisions and asked for prayer. Tears were flowing, hugs were continuous and everyone felt God’s presence and a deep love for each other.

Aren’t these the kind of moments we long for in youth ministry? They’re the feelgood moments. The exciting times when we really feel like all our work has made a difference. There are so many sermons, lessons and discussions week in and week out that seem to fall on deaf ears. So these are the times that really energize us and make us feel like our work as youth leaders really does make a difference.

I love these moments! But I’m also leery of the position they put students in. I see youth get excited at a weekend retreat or big youth event that creates an emotional environment where they are driven to tears and decisions during an emotional high. Since teens live in the moment, they respond quickly when they feel an emotional response to music and speakers even if it’s an artificial atmosphere. They love the feeling of closeness to God and the people around them, so they open up in front of their peers, confess everything, make commitments they really feel in their heart and share the whole thing with lots of tears and ‘authenticity.’

Students really care about authenticity, so they let everything out. Unfortunately, authenticity gets confusing during emotional experiences like this. Often, they think they are being fully authentic

Emotional Highs

JEFF GATES

when they open up in front of the group during emotional events. They really do feel close to God, and they really do want to live for Jesus. The problem with these emotional decisions is that they easily set people up for failure. Walking with Jesus is not about being on an emotional high all the time. Yes, there are times when walking with Jesus is exciting and there’s no feeling like it, but there are other times when Jesus feels so distant that it’s easy to wonder where He is.

Real authenticity is about honesty in all of life—not just honesty during emotional highs. Students need help with this. They often do not see their own dishonesty when they commit to something and don’t follow through later. When we, as leaders, create emotionally charged atmospheres, we need to be careful not to manipulate feelings and responses artificially.

I think we can enjoy exciting moments like these. In fact, I think they are important and beneficial. Ecclesiastes 3 talks about times to laugh and dance as well as times for mourning and weeping. We are made to feel and experience emotion to its fullest!

We just have to make sure students understand that life includes sorrow and pain as much as joy and excitement. As much as we long for the good times, the difficult times are just as much a part of

our Christian journey. When we celebrate these moments with students, we need to be ready to mourn with them and walk with them during the hard times as well.

Emotionally charged moments of connecting with God, confessing sins and making commitments are important and valuable, but they are not the end goal. Just because we’ve been praying for students to respond during a time like this, doesn’t mean they understand how hard it will be to follow through on their commitment in the following days and weeks.

As leaders, the following days and weeks are a great opportunity for us to connect and follow up with those youth who responded. During the event, we can tell the students that we will pray and ask them how it’s going. Then, during the next week, we can send a note, make a call, text, or meet in person and ask how they are living out their response. When they express frustration, we can sympathize and help them understand that authenticity in living for Jesus is lived out during the good times and the tough times.

Authenticity is more than emotion. It’s being real and faithful despite emotional highs and lows. In the good times we turn to the Lord in praise and thanksgiving. In challenging times we also turn to the Lord and depend on Him to carry us through.

youthunlimited.org

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MARK KNETSCH

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R

eformed Rap. That’s right, reformed rappers are becoming increasingly popular these days. If you don’t believe me, go to YouTube and search ‘Heidelberg Catechism rap’. Curt ‘Voice’ Allen fused together some of the overarching themes with a description of the basic structure of the Heidelberg Catechism in rap form! The best part is that it’s actually well done! I played this song at Hour of Discipleship (aka ‘catechism’) and our youth were quite impressed.

Lecrea is another rapper that is currently exploding in popularity. He’s a top-notch rapper who has the uncanny ability to teach complicated reformed concepts in his songs. Recently, I played a song by him at Hour of Discipleship as well. The song’s title is Background and features singer C-Lite. Here’s my favorite line: "So let me fall back and stop giving my suggestions / Cause when I follow my obsessions I end up confessing. / That I'm not that impressive, matter of fact I'm who I are, / A trail of stardust leading to the Superstar."

A trail of stardust leading to the Superstar... great line! That night we were studying what the line from the Lord’s Prayer, “thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” means. The song worked perfectly because it asks God to ‘take the lead’ in our life and for us to ‘play the background’ because ‘I get in the way’. Thoroughly biblical concepts crafted together in hip fashion.

For those of you who only know musicians like Petra, DC Talk, Amy Grant, and Michael W. Smith (as awesome as they are), allow me to give you a nudge of encouragement to do a little bit of research.

Christian music has evolved to amazing new levels. Rap and hip-hop are just two musical genres that have ‘arrived’.

At a time when pop culture sees very little difference between the sacred and the profane, it’s crucial to help our youth listen to countercultural lyrics with a modern beat. I’m not suggesting we all grow to love rap, I’m suggesting that our teens are too young to be wise cultural discerners, and they need for us to help them know quality and Christian alternatives. The growth of reformed rap is just one example of Christians who are providing—for young and old alike—a sanctifying alternative.

Don’t get me wrong: I like pop culture! I like a whole slew of bands out there. But our culture is annoying me lately. Is it because I’m getting older? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

The trajectory of what is acceptable is changing, and youth pastors and

volunteers need to be aware of what really is feeding our youth musically.

So how do we do that? Where do we go, especially if we have no idea where to start? First off, check out Interlinc (interlinc-online.com). When you sign up for the Interlinc, you receive about 6-7 new Christian CDs four times a year. It feels like Christmas every time we get a new package. You’ll be introduced to the best and brightest young Christian musicians as well as solid veteran musicians.

Not only have I been introduced to rappers like Lecrea, Trip Lee, and Grits, but also to bands like Needtobreathe (probably my favorite band), Falling Up, Bethany Dillon, House of Heroes, Gungor, the Myriad, Shirock, Remedy Drive, and Jon Foreman’s solo album, Limbs and Branches. I would encourage you to google all of these right away.

A second helpful resource is Relevant Magazine. Relevant’s mission is to find solid, truth-filled music in all corners of culture. They interview the best and brightest musicians alive, and it has served as a powerful tool for me as I try to navigate my way through the constantly changing culture of music. Relevant Magazine is cheap, but the quality is next to none.

The best resource out there is your youth. They are listening to a whole array of stuff. Their phones, iPods, and mp3 players can store thousands of songs, and they need wiser and older voices in their lives to speak truth into their personal world of music. Ask your teens what entertains them. What music do they have downloaded and why did they download it? Getting engaged with their musical lives is like discovering a spiritual vault of information about what is feeding their souls. Try to listen to what they are listening to and find ways in which you can challenge the songs that do not belong on their playlists.

The beautiful thing about music is that it’s God’s gift for us to enjoy. Music is inherently a beautiful thing because it’s part and parcel of the creation potential God asked Adam and Eve to explore. It can be used to further God’s Kingdom, but it can also be used to poison the mind. It’s next to impossible to prove that empirically. How are you supposed measure quantitatively how ‘bad’ music affects our children? That’s the wrong question. The right questions are: How does music edify your soul? If you were a disciple following Jesus 2,000 years ago, would you be excited to ask Jesus

to check out this new band? If all truth is God’s truth, then where is God’s truth in each song you listen to? What quality alternatives exist that could entertain our teens and promote God’s love and truth?

Getting involved in our teens musical world is not the answer to a successful youth program. Yes, perhaps you will come across a quality video to show at youth group. However, the reality is you only have so much time. Part of my goal is to introduce you to bands that students may like, but the other part is to encourage you to get involved in their personal musical business. What our youth listen to does feed them and in many cases presents a message that contradicts the gospel message. That’s not okay. There is nothing neutral about listening to music. As someone once said, all life is religion, and that includes the wonderful world of music.

So be engaged. Have fun learning about all that’s out there. And be wise and gentle in how you criticize—always speaking the truth in love.

YOUTH UNLIMITED'S RELATIONAL, RELEVANT AND REGIONAL YOUTH MINISTRY CONSULTANTS. YOUTH WORKERS COMMITTED TO HUMBLY SERVING ONE ANOTHER. ENCOURAGING, SUPPORTING, EQUIPPING AND INSPIRING. Nick In’t Hout: Southern California nick@youthunlimited.org Ryan Kimmel: Great Lakes USA ryan@youthunlimited.org Kandace Brands: Midwest USA kandace@youthunlimited.org Grace-Emma Van Til: SW Ontario graceemma@youthunlimited.org Koenraad Buegelink: Southern BC koenraad@youthunlimited.org

VISIT YOUTHUNLIMITED.ORG TODAY TO LEARN MORE AND SEE IF THERE IS A CONSULTANT CURRENTLY IN YOUR AREA. youthunlimited.org

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Food for Thought

S

omething magical happens when there is a collision of food and community. Just think back to your first time watching the movie Hook. All of the lost boys sat around an empty table that, with the help of their imaginations, turned into an incredible feast. The table was crammed full of colorful whipped cream pies, golden brown turkeys, steaming loaves of bread, goblets of cocoa, ten-pound blocks of cheese, bowls overflowing with juicy fruit—you get the picture. If that scene didn’t make your heart pitter patter, I’m not sure what will!

As someone who has an undeniable love for cooking and eating, I incorporate food into youth ministry whenever possible. I’ve noticed that awkward moments become less painful when accompanied by a bag of chips. And did you know leaders get energized by the mere scent of coffee brewing before youth group? Plus, you never hear a student complain when they walk into a room where Mountain Dew and Red Vines are present!

While preparing the fall schedule last year, I knew I wanted to do an event that involved sharing an entire meal around the table with my youth. I quickly wrote “Thanksgiving Progressive Dinner” for our November event, without giving it another thought until months later.

Having never planned a progressive dinner before, I was in for quite a surprise. Little

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KAYLYN UNTERKOFLER did I realize that it would take 24 host homes, 8 dessert makers, 16 leaders, and a whole lot of organization to pull off the night. While the preparation time was unexpectedly extensive, our entire church is still talking about the event today. The memories that we made were well worth the time and effort that went into it. Here are some tips to a make a similar event happen in your church: 1.

Send an email to the entire congregation explaining the event and inviting them to participate. Share your desires for the night and paint a picture of something they’d like to be a part of.

Make sure you let them know exactly what can be expected of them if they commit to help. Remind volunteers that holiday food is not completely necessary. Frozen lasagna (cooked, of course!) would be just fine.

2.

Determine how many host homes/ leaders you will need for the night.

You will need three host homes per 10 students—one for each of the soup, salad and main courses. Therefore, if you have 30 students, you will need nine host homes.

3.

As church members respond, designate each host home with a soup, salad or main course. You can let them choose which course they’d like to serve!

However, as your spots become more limited you may need to let them know what you are most in need of.

4.

When you have an equal amount of host homes for each course, find each home’s nearest cross streets and group them together based on proximity. Part of the fun of a progressive dinner is the time in the car between meals! You don’t want the homes to be too close to one another, but you also need to remember you are on a time schedule.

5.

Assign groups to each route. Good numbers to plan by are a 1:4 leader to student ratio (five to a car), and 10 individuals (two cars) per host home.

The number of groups you end up with will entirely depend upon the number of students in your youth group.

6.

Print directions from house to house (to house!) for your group leaders.

Remember, prepared leaders are happy leaders. Set yours up for success by making sure you do your part to make the night run smoothly for them.

7.

Arrange for the desserts to be dropped off at your church on the day of your event, as dessert will be served there.

The number of desserts should be the same as your number of groups. No one wants to skimp on the sweet stuff!

Also, enlisting the help of parents to plate and serve the desserts while you’re at dinner is an immense help.

8.

On the night of the event, send each group off with a camera. Since you will be in groups for the majority of the night, this allows you get a glimpse of how each group’s night went! You can later print photos to display in your youth room share them with the families that opened their home.

9.

When all of the groups return from the event, have a time for students to share. Youth typically love open mic time. Ask your students what they are thankful for and allow them to respond during the dessert course.

10. After the event, be sure to thank everyone involved. Pulling off an event like this requires preparation on everyone’s part. Make sure you thank your leaders, dessert makers and everyone who opened their home to your youth. But most importantly...

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, his love endures forever.” Psalm 107:1

II FACED

challenging youth on their own hypocrisy and inauthenticity RYAN KIMMEL

“Yeah, me too!”

If you want to get a few heads nodding in agreement and maybe even a few ‘amens,’ the next time you’re giving a lesson, message or teaching say this phrase: “You know what bugs me? Fake Christians.”

Works every time.

It’s no secret that what people desire, particularly the next generation, is authenticity. While simple tradition may have sustained in the past, the youth and young adults of today are leaving the faith in droves for a number of reasons, but many stem from what they perceive as a lack of authenticity among Christians and within the local church. Emerging adults are not oblivious to the disconnect between Sunday morning and the rest of the Christian’s life.

Word study: hupokrités Jesus often calls the Pharisees ‘hypocrites’ (such as in Matthew 15:7).

Hypocrite is translated from the Greek word (hupokrités), and it literally means stage-player or pretender. So Jesus was literally callingthe Pharisees actors. He was calling them fake—implying that their actions had no real meaning. Jesus was, in a bold way, exposing their inauthenticity.

Being surrounded by Greek culture, everyone knew full well what Jesus was saying when He used that term, and to the Pharisees it must have sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

Maybe that’s us?

Often what happens is that the Pharisees get demonized because they bear the brunt of many of Jesus’ challenges. The sad part of this is that all too often those in the church place themselves on the safe side of Jesus when he’s confronting people.

When we apply those verses today, we put ourselves in the place of the onlookers watching Jesus have these challenging

conversations with someone else instead of thinking Jesus may be having those conversations with us...today.

As youth workers, we’d be wise to examine those challenges in our own hearts before we bring them to the students we serve.

John Owen said, “A man preacheth that sermon only well unto others which preacheth itself in his own soul.”

In Matthew 15 Jesus quotes Isaiah when He says, “people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” (Isaiah 29:13) This verse challenges the heart to look in the mirror and examine its own hypocrisy, its own inauthenticity. It’s a good one for many in the church to pray over. It forces us to ask a confronting question to ourselves: Are we walking the walk or just talking the talk?

Actions, not Intentions To know if our hearts are indeed far from God, all we have to do is look at how we spend our time and where we spend our money—not at our intentions.

When attending worship, being involved at church and loving our neighbor are things we have a hard time fitting into our schedules, then I would say something is out of balance. That goes for the students and for adults.

Two-Faced You know how it goes—challenges often get misinterpreted as sheer judgment calls. So when we talk to students and want to speak to them about their own hypocrisy and inauthenticity, we have to be able to do it in a redemptive way, not a condemning one.

I think the most loving, non-judgmental and redemptive way to expose a person’s own hypocrisy is thru God’s Word—to

love students enough to open the Bible with them, examine a text and ask, “What is God saying in this passage and are we responding accordingly?” So when dealing with hypocrisy, getting particulars from students as to where they are falling short is important because it demonstrates they understand their sin, but it also signifies spiritual growth and, as the Bible notes, confession is good for the soul (1 John 1:9). It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, so letting them answer those questions about themselves is allowing the Holy Spirit to do His job in their heart.

A great parable to use in teaching the reality of hypocrisy, inauthenticity and two-facedness is the parable of the Two Sons in Matthew 21. There’s a father of two sons who tells them to go work the vineyard. The first son says he won’t do it, but then later goes and does the work.

The second son right away says he’ll go to work, but never actually does. Jesus then lets the chief priests He’s talking to decide which son did what their father wanted.

We know from the story it’s the first son.

Christianity is about loving Jesus, but Jesus says if we love Him, we’ll obey Him (John 14:26). So according to Jesus, if we don’t obey Him, we don’t love Him. Like the second son, how many Christians say they love Jesus, but leave it at words followed by no action? If we say we love Him without obeying Him, it’s like talking the talk but not walking the walk.

So, for those students who claim Christ yet are acting more like the second son, it’s a natural challenge to ask if they are living the authenticity they want to see in the world and in the church. This challenge goes for all of us: if fake-Christians bug us, then we better not be one.

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Disturbing the Peace

The difficult job of dealing with someone you disagree with RYAN KIMMEL

What this is not ...

I know that many who turn to this article may subconsciously be looking for ways to win an argument or for tips on how to get their agenda passed thru the roadblock keeping it from moving forward. With that, the first thing I want to acknowledge is that humility is more important than getting our way. So please, we must entertain the notion of being wrong in any given situation or that our opinion may be no better than the opposing one. Hard to do isn’t it? For me more than anyone else, I’m sure. With that, let’s look at the difficult job of dealing with someone we disagree with.

Where your treasure is ...

You’re invested in the ministry in which you serve. I know you are. I know your heart is devoted to it, your mind is dedicated to it, and your time is given to it.

But it’s a good thing that we’re not the only ones. Others can be just as committed as we are. So what happens when someone who is so invested has a disagreement with someone else who is so invested?

Well, let’s review a few preliminaries.

“I am with them ... ” I’ve heard this saying quoted so many times; in worship settings, in promoting a prayer meeting, in Bible study. I know you know it. “Where two or three come

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together in my name, there I am with them.” But what often gets left out is that Jesus says this in the context of redeeming disagreements within the Christian family. Not that what Jesus is saying about being with people can’t be applied universally, but how often do we remember it during a dispute or disagreement?

This teaching of Jesus, to me, sounds like it could come out of Paul’s Pastoral Epistles, but yet it’s red-lettered and found in Matthew 18. Let’s review how Jesus says to handle a dispute: • If you have a problem with someone, first attempt to clear it up just you and the person.

• If that doesn’t work, get one or two others to join you and try again.

• Fail? Now bring the matter to the attention of your church.

•

Still a brick wall? Ok, time to treat this person as a “pagan or tax collector.”

But remember, that doesn’t mean to treat them bad. (For a review of how to treat pagans and tax collectors please read about the life of Jesus.)

They are not crazy ... hopefully Knowing that others can be just as invested as we are, their opinions, like our own, come from a heart that wants the best.

It is imperative to understand this when dealing with a dispute. This helps season the disagreement with a mutual salt.

Yahoo ...

We have a rule/policy at our church – it’s called the Yahoo rule. It’s simple: No matter who is leading everyone else says Yahoo! The leader could have the team doing the dumbest thing ever – but as a team we all jump onboard and say Yahoo!

This keeps the unity, teaches humility and honors authority. I tell our leaders, unless your conscience (and not your pride) really permits it, we all follow this rule.

Dealing with disagreement ...

OK, so here are a few points to keep in mind as it comes time to deal with the disagreement: Remember the goal •

When we get the courage to bring up the disagreement, I suggest first going over the shared goals each party is working towards. In humility, acknowledge the good others are trying to accomplish.

When we remember we are aiming at the same things, it’s easier to line up with each other.

Reinforce the values • Values help dictate what we will and won’t engage in even if it meets our goal. An extreme example is that no one

YOU ASKED Q A

"When one of your kids confides something in you at what point do you talk to their parents or the pastor? Should you even talk to them? "

“Ultimately, if you are hearing anything of concern from student(s) it is beneficial to be upfront with them, remind them that you care for them and take what they say seriously, and that you are concerned for them. It can be helpful to ask them what it would be like for them to share their concerning information/feelings with their parents/pastor – reviewing the perceived costs and benefits to sharing with their parents/pastor versus the actual costs and benefits. Then, if the student is in no immediate harm or danger, continue meeting with them, remind them that they do not have to go through this time alone, and continue to walk alongside them. If there is any time where you are feeling in over your head or out of your comfort zone, consult with your supervisor/pastor, talk with the student about the importance of sharing this part of their life with others to gain further support, and meet with both the student and parents to discuss therapy as a beneficial support.”

— Ariel Juberg “In my opinion, working with students is largely about establishing trust and offering them a safe space to process what is going on in their lives. As a general rule, I commit to the student up front that whatever we talk about will remain confidential. I also tell them that I am bound to break that confidentiality if it comes to my attention that they are a danger to themselves (i.e., self-harming, suicidal thoughts or gestures) or to others (i.e., specific threats of violence toward other people). In your role as a youth pastor you may also want to define other circumstances that would be cause for breaking confidentiality and involving parents, the pastor or mental health professionals based on your degree of comfort working with certain issues.

Knowing when to refer is deeply connected to knowing your limitations without feeling ashamed that you have them. Professional counselors often participate in supervision groups to help identify our blind spots and limitations so that we know when it is appropriate to make a referral to a more qualified counselor. I would recommend having a small group of trusted and wise individuals whom you can go to with different cases that you are struggling with. You can still keep the identifying information confidential while giving the basic idea of the case and seeking their input regarding which direction to go in. You may want to consider choosing people who are removed from the context that you are working in so that the stories themselves do not give away the identity of the students.”

— Bryan Nixon, MA, LPC These thoughtful and insightful answers on this tough issue come from Ariel Juberg and Bryan Nixon of The Christian Counseling Center (cccwmich.Org) in Grand Rapids, Michigan

is going to offer alcohol to get students to come to youth group. So the values are important because they help define the routes we’ll take and won’t take to get to the destination. I bring this up because often disagreements come from a difference in methods, so this is helpful in determining the nature of some of our points of contention.

Reconsider the disagreement •

It’s at this point that we ought to reexamine in our own heart the problem we have with the other person. In some ways, it’s a pride-check. What is the severity of our disagreement and what exactly are we trying to accomplish through it - is it something really worth disturbing the peace over?

Respect the process •

As we already looked at, Jesus details for us how to handle disputes. It’s neither wise nor healthy to deviate from that outline. It’s been my experience that most disagreements come from misunderstandings, so the first step of having a heart-to-heart normally resolves it. But when it doesn’t and we move to step two by seeking out two or three others, we must be fair in the people we select. That is, not getting people from our holy-huddles, but people whom both parties respect.

People who’ll weigh both sides and with wisdom discern what’s best.

Recognize the resolution •

MUST READS

Now, most confrontations I’ve been part of are not dealing with anything heretical, unethical, or illegal, but simply a difference of opinions.

The former is where elders need to be involved. But if people simply can’t come to an agreement regarding opinions, then that’s where the yahoo rule helps, but this under the assumption that designated and clarified leadership is honored by all parties. And sometimes resolution does not come in the form of getting our way, but also by honoring leadership and with love it simply means agreeing to disagree…even if our idea is better.

Scan here to listen to Andy Stanley talking on “Maintaining A Healthy Tension” — Must Reads — The Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self-Discovery by David Benner In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership by Henri Nouwen Under the Unpredictable Plant: An Exploration in Vocational Holiness by Eugene Peterson Ministry in the Image of God: The Trinitarian Shape of Christian Service by Stephen Seamands The Barbarian Way: Unleash the Untamed Faith Within by Erwin McManus

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The Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns

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EQUIP INTERVIEW WITH:

JEANNETTE HUISMAN YOUTH JUST WANT TO BE

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LOVED KNOW THAT THEY MATTER

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quip: Please tell us a little about Jeannette Huisman. Family, work, etc.

Jeannette: John and I celebrated 25 years of marriage this past September. We have three children. James is currently serving with Youth With a Mission in Finland. Ryan is engaged and is studying Youth Ministry at Kuyper College in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and our daughter Charlene began studying at The King’s University College in Edmonton Alberta this fall. I work part-time at Verses Christian Bookstore in Chilliwack, BC and I do various housecleaning jobs. When we get a chance we love to go camping together as a family.

Equip: How long have you been volunteering in youth ministry?

Jeannette: I have been volunteering with our youth group for nine years. I began when our oldest son started, and beginning this fall I will continue without any of my own children being in youth group.

Equip: Tell us a little about your youth ministry history in terms of the roles you have played over the years as well as your current role.

Jeannette: Over the years I have had the pleasure of doing a lot of different things with youth, sometimes behind the scenes and sometimes in the middle of things.

From making sure that there are always lots of snacks available each week, to helping with the lessons once in a while or joining in on camping trips or retreats, as well as driving them to different functions.

I also had the opportunity to join the youth on three different mission trips to California and Mexico.

Equip: If you were to take a bird’s eye view of youth culture, what have you observed over the years?

Jeannette: Kids have a lot more access to technology now than before. Social media plays a huge part of their lives. They can chat with their friends at any time of the day, as well as access movies and music at the touch of a button. All these have a lot of impact on them.

Equip: As you look back over your years in youth ministry, what are the top two things that you have learned regarding youth and ministry?

Jeannette: One, youth want to be loved and know that they matter and that their opinion is important. As youth leaders we can help them know that we care by being there for them and taking an interest in their lives. Two, if you give them food they

will eat it! And if they can make a mess they will. Go with it and have fun in the process, cleaning up isn’t that big of a deal, letting them know they can have fun while learning something is much more important.

Equip: Youth across North America are seeking authentic faith in today’s church.

As a youth ministry leader, what is your response to this?

Jeannette: Let them know that we have had the same questions they do. Be honest with them. Live what you teach. If they see you outside of church, do they see someone who loves God or someone completely different?

Equip: If a youth pastor is reading this, what advice would you give him/her on how to encourage his/her volunteers?

Jeannette: Be there for them; be available when they have concerns. Let them know if they are doing a good job and ask them to help when and wherever you need it. Giving specific jobs lets the leaders know they are really needed.

Equip: Any closing remarks, Jeannette, that you want to share with volunteer youth workers across North America to encourage them in ministry?

Jeannette: Hang in there! Just when you begin to think you are not accomplishing anything, the students will do something that shows that they understand what they are being taught and that they appreciate you. It is also very encouraging to watch them as they take the next steps in their faith and walk with God without anyone prompting them, knowing that God has allowed you to join them on that walk.

Equip: Thank you Jeannette for being instrumental in ministering to youth for so many years. Your heart for ministry and your passion to serve is an example to many. Keep serving out of the overflow of God’s gifts to you.

Jeannette was submitted as a candidate for our Exceptional Volunteer by Ben Bentum, Youth Pastor at Cornerstone Christian Reformed Church in Chilliwack, BC. Thanks Ben! If you know a stellar youth worker you'd like us to spotlight, let us know at Dear Equip at youthunlimited.org

KEVIN LOBERT

QUESTIONS FROM APPLES

S

teve Jobs’ passing away has given us all time to reflect on the man he was.

The man that brought us the iPod, the Mac and Pixar (among other things) has also given us the ultimate communication device: the iPhone. Using the iPhone a microcosm for all electronic communication (because let’s face it, the iPhone does everything), I feel it is appropriate for us, as Christians, to look at the world influenced by Steve Jobs and his company Apple, and ask ourselves some important questions.

1. Are relationships in our culture benefitting from a world where communication with anyone is instant and at our fingertips?

2. Are we growing in our ability to communicate with one another?

My fear is that for these questions the answer is no. As a youth pastor, I have found that the easier and more accessible texting, emailing, and messaging becomes, the harder it is to engage someone face-to-face. For example, when meeting someone for coffee, I am constantly interrupted by seemingly “important texts that must be responded to immediately.” Parents don’t need to talk to their children anymore, because they can email them instead. More so, there is no need to speak to teenagers about issues like the dangers of pre-marital sex when there are blogs, links, facebook groups, or apps that do that for you. Let’s face it - it is easier to speak to someone behind a computer-screen than it is face-to-face. But is easier always better?

Though the means of which to communicate are growing, the skills in which to communicate, such as active listening or attentiveness, are not. Thanks to Apple, and companies of the like, it has become more efficient to communicate with others – and that is OK (as I type this on my Mac).

However, as an RV commercial I once saw put it, we must not let the devices that connect us take the place of the moments that bring us together. In other words, don’t let these devices define the relationships you have.

We live in a culture that thrives on the text message. The final question I want to leave you with is this: If the way we communicate with each other is becoming less personable and more distant, how then are we communicating with God? Are we distant, only sending Him a text a day, or are we striving for some face-time with our Lord?

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own set of tools to build up His church.

First Corinthians 12:7-10 lists the different gifts that the Spirit gives for the common good: wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miraculous powers, prophesy, discernment, and speaking and interpreting tongues. Finally, verse 11 says, “All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and He distributes them to each one, just as He determines.” The Holy Spirit has determined to give you your exact gifts—are you willing to own them?

Use your gifts.

KAYLYN UNTERKOFLER

M

y husband recently trained for his first marathon, and it quickly occurred to both of us that we had a lot to learn in the marathon department.

My biggest challenge was learning how to feed a man who was running up to 40 miles a week, which truly was a task. Meanwhile, he had to grasp things such as how to stay hydrated, what flavor of energy shots tasted the least horrible, and how to find his so-called “sweet spot.” The sweet spot happened when he achieved the perfect running pace to sustain him for the long distances—something that Coldplay’s song Viva La Vida often helped him find.

Well, it turns out there’s a sweet spot in ministry, too. You can find it when you discover your gifts, accept them and put yourself in environments where you can use them. While ministry is undoubtedly challenging at times, being in this sweet spot is what will often give you life, encouragement and refreshment while you’re running your own race.

Find out what you’re gifted at.

There are different avenues to discovering your gifts. One way is to take a spiritual gifts test. These tests were created to reveal your greatest strengths as a follower of Christ. By answering questions about yourself, you will be able to obtain a list of the top gifts the Spirit has given you. To make sure you’re being authentic, you may want to take the test with someone who knows you well. They can keep you on track—helping you answer the questions based on who you are instead of who you’d like to be. You can even go broader with this and teach a series on spiritual gifts. Simply Youth Ministry has two different resources that provide

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transcripts, outlines, PowerPoints, and promotional material that can make your job easier.

Another great resource is to utilize a book such as Strengths Finder. This is a secular book that many organizations use to determine what their employees are good at. This book, with the aid of an online assessment, helps y ou discover more about yourself. For instance, a developer may be inclined to see the good in others and strive to bring others to their full potential. On the other hand, an achiever has a strong sense of drive and a constant need for achievement. These talents are God-given and will help you discover more about how God wired you.

Accept your gifts.

Have you ever had spiritual gift envy?

It may come about when you watch Billy Graham preach and you sit back and think: I wish I could preach like that. Or maybe it happens when you reflect on the life of Mother Teresa and think: If only I was as devoted to service as she was.

I am sure that at some point or another we’ve all been there. We have seen others use their gifts and wished that we could have been designed in the same way.

Although I have experienced, and continue to experience, my fair share of spiritual gift envy, I have come to realize something that keeps me grounded. Constantly being involved in areas outside your giftedness can lead to discouragement and burnout.

Did you catch that? Forcing yourself into the spiritual gift mold of someone else only leads to discouragement and burnout!

Benjamin Franklin once said, “Hide not your talents. They for use were made.

What’s a sundial in the shade?” Once you discover and accept your gifts and talents, there is nothing left to do but use them! I love the way The Message translation words Paul’s encouragement to believers in Romans 12:5, “So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other or trying to be something we aren’t.” Are you heeding his advice and being what you were “excellently formed” to be?

One of my favorite passages of the Bible is when Jesus feeds the five thousand (found in Matthew 14, Mark 6, Luke 9, and John 6). Do you remember what He used to make sure the crowd was fed? A mere five loaves of bread and two fish. It doesn’t matter what you’re gifted with or how much talent you have—the important thing is that you use them with all you have.

There is nothing more life-giving than the ability to use your gifts to build up the body of Christ. When ministry leaves you feeling exhausted, worn out and weary, being in this sweet spot is what will help you persevere while you run the race. (And a little Viva La Vida won’t hurt either!)

Scan here to learn more about "SYM's Discovering Your Shape series"

Why is that, you may ask? Because God created each of us uniquely with our

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GOING BACK WITH A HEART TO SERVE

INDIANA WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY – MARION, IN

EARLY BIRD REGISTRATION OPEN NOW

BE THE HANDS AND FEET OF CHRIST Share your faith through acts of service in the community of Marion, Indiana.

MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONE’S LIFE Experience the power of helping and caring for those in need.

BOND TOGETHER Groups large and small will develop closer relationships with God and each other.

BE ACTIVE Get involved painting, gardening, roofing, drywalling, cleaning and more. All levels of knowledge and experience are needed.

HAVE FUN Meet new people, experience the blessings of working together.

FOR MORE INFORMATION, VISIT US ONLINE AT YOUTHUNLIMITED.ORG OR CONTACT US AT YU@YOUTHUNLIMITED.ORG youthunlimited.org

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The Marion Project is open to high school youth and their leaders. A Ratio of 1 adult for every 5 students is required. Groups of any size (2–200) are welcome.

Dynamic Youth Ministries PO Box 7259 Grand Rapids, MI 49510 USA

Nonprofit Org US Postage PAID Grand Rapids, MI Permit No. 931

E Q U I P P I N G TO D AY S V O LU N T E E R YO U T H W O R K E R

THE AUTHENTIC WORKER | MISSIONS & JUSTICE: TREND OR TRACTION? FOOD FOR THOUGHT NEW YOU ASKEDYOUTH SECTION | SUMMER CHARACTERS AND MISSIONS | YOUTH| GROUP DECATHLON

JEANNETTE HUISMAN YOUTH JUST WANT TO BE LIVE THROUGH THIS NOW FOR

&

LOVED KNOW THAT THEY MATTER

GOD'S GLORY

PITY THE FOOL DISTURBING THE PEACE

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FALL 2011|VOLUME 9|ISSUE 1