Equip Magazine Winter 2011 Issue by ThereforeGo Ministries

E Q U I P P I N G T O D AY S V O L U N T E E R Y O U T H W O R K E R

Easter event ideas | tried and true games | money saving deals from youth unlimited

BOB GRUSSING

3 3 Y E A R S OF YOUTH MI NIST RY

60 M i n ut e C h a l le ng e 60 min a week with youth outside of church

A dvo cat e fo r Yo uth 5 K in ds o f L ea ders w e s h o u l d P ursu e L ect io DI V I NA a soup of sorts WINTER 2011|VOLUME 8|ISSUE 2

Wa l k t h e Talk youthunlimited.org

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Info Contents Youth Unlimited Equip Magazine Winter 2011 | Volume 8 | Issue 2 Publication Coordinator | Marcel deRegt Chief Editor | Shari Ilbrink Chief Designer | Jim Bowerman Contributing Writers | Koen Beugelink, Marcel deRegt, Gretchen Driesenga, Jeff Gates, Mark Knetsch, Ryan Kimmel, Jeff Kruithof, Cody Statema, Kaylyn Unterkofler Front Cover Photo| Mandy Bowerman amandamaedesign.com Equip Magazine is printed in the United States as a free resource to churches across North America. Canada | Canada Post International Sales Agreement #41124116. Return undeliverable Canadian address to Youth Unlimited Equip Magazine, Box 1100, Norwich, ON, N0J 1P0, Canada Editorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Notes | Corrections from Equip Fall 2010, Volume 8, Issue 1 | Dates for the Leadership Development Trip to Israel should read June 11 to 27, 2011 (pg.9) | In the article A New Youth Ministry Picture by Koen Beugelink the word influence should read influencer. Reading the article again with that slight change gives it a whole new meaning and challenge. (pg.14 under Family Connection)

n OPENING NOTE

n NUTS & BOLTS

60 Minute Challenge............................... pg. 6

Walk the Talk........................................... pg. 7

n EXCEPTIONAL YOUTH WORKER

Missions: Jerry Meadows 616.241.5616 ext. 3040 jerry@youthunlimited.org Events: Millie Hoekstra 207.864.2963 millie@youthunlimited.org

33 Years of Youth Ministry......................... pg. 8

n TEACHING GODS WORD

Lectio Divina: A Soup of Sorts................. pg. 12

n EVENTS

Easter is Coming.................................... pg. 14

Tried and True Games............................ pg. 15

n FAMILY CONNECTION

Teenagers: Adolescent Humanoids Journeying Toward Adulthood. ................................ pg. 16

n COMMUNICATION

Leadership Development: Marcel deRegt 616.485.1966 marcel@youthunlimited.org

Spikes of Encouragement......................... pg. 4

Advocate for Youth................................. pg. 18

n LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT

5 Kinds of Leaders We Should Pursue in Youth Ministry..................................... pg. 19

From Small Talk to Salvation: How to Bring Conversations about the Weather to Whether or Not Jesus is the Christ........................ pg. 20

n WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT

The Awe of God..................................... pg. 22

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OPENING NOTE

Marcel deRegt

RECOMMENDED READ

Tony Dungy’s latest book, The Mentor Leader, talks about what it means to be a mentor in our day-to-day life. As a volunteer youth leader, you interact with youth on a regular basis, therefore you are a mentor. The Mentor Leader shares insights as to how you can be the best mentor leader possible by being who God created you to be. It’s 203 pages worth reading.

n his recent book, The Mentor Leader, Tony Dungy begins chapter eight with a quote from an unknown author: “Blessed is the leader who seeks the best for those he serves.”

While discussing this issue a number of months ago, the Equip team realized that January to May can be long and dreary for youth workers. We thought that as a volunteer you may need some encouragement during these winter It is a warm and fuzzy thought to keep months. This winter issue of Equip is you warm on these cold winter nights: here to do just you are a volunteer “They are watching you: that – encourage youth leader who you! We hope and making sure you walk is investing into the pray that you are lives of the youth with integrity, listening inspired through you serve and for authenticity and truth, the writings, Bible seeking the best for verses and ideas seeking a voice that will them! Doesn’t it easy things you just give you goose speak into their life when of can do at youth bumps? What an no one else dares ... ” group and during honor, privilege the week to lighten and responsibility! your load. There are also articles that However, the reality is that it is more we hope will encourage and challenge than just warm fuzzies. You are being you in ministry. used by God to impact the life of There a lot of valuable resources youth in your church and community. between the covers of this issue – a They are watching you: making sure lot to soak in. Instead of reading this you walk with integrity, listening for magazine from cover to cover in one authenticity and truth, seeking a voice sitting, I urge you to try spreading your that will speak into their life when no reading out over time. Read one or two one else dares, watching that what you articles today, set it down, and pick it say and do at youth group and church up again next week. matches what you say and do during the rest of the week. Be encouraged! You are making a difference in the life of youth just by It is not always easy being a volunteer, being you. Don’t try to be anyone else especially during these cooler months but yourself – that is authenticity! As you of a long winter. If you are like me, I continue reading the various articles am sure there are times when you just over the next few weeks, may they be don’t feel like attending youth group, spikes of encouragement, hope and you just don’t have the energy and comfort during those miserable winter time to make it out to your youth’s blues. Let’s strive to be the best for basketball game or days where you just those we serve at all times of the year. don’t really care. If you are agreeing, please don’t feel any guilt. God’s grace is sufficient! However, just acknowledge that perhaps you have entered the winter blues of youth ministry.

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Enjoy your read!

YOUTH UNLIMITED

LOCATIONS AT YOUTHUNLIMITED.ORG/RETREATS GREAT LAKES USA January 25–27, 2011 Camp Geneva and Retreat Center, Holland, MI Cost: $195 USD per person

WORKER RETREATS

Worship: Adam Locker

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ONTARIO February 25–27, 2011 Circle Square Ranch, Severn Bridge, ON Cost: $165 USD per person Worship: Dana Hoekstra Speaker: Syd Hielema

BRITISH COLUMBIA/WASHINGTON* March 4–6, 2011 Manning Park Resort, Manning Park, BC Cost: $210 USD per person Speaker: Ron Friesen Worship: Fred Sutherland

MIDWEST USA* March 25–27, 2011 Broom Tree Retreat Center, Irene, SD Cost $165 USD per person Speaker: Clinton Lowen Worship: Sons of Thunder

WEST COAST USA* October 21–23, 2011 Dana Point Marina Inn, Dana Point, CA Cost $180 USD per person Speaker: TBA Worship: TBA

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*for youth workers and their spouses

YOUTH

Speaker: Brian Telzerow

For more information: Contact Marcel deRegt, Leadership Development Director, 616.485.1966 or marcel@youthunlimited.org

SOUL CARE

NUTS & BOLTS • Take a student out for coffee before or after school. • Give a student an old book of yours. Write in the front why it reminded you of them.

• Meet a student on campus for lunch (and provide the meal).

Minute Challenge Kaylyn Unterkofler

•

Call a few students the day after youth group and ask them what they thought. Allow them to share what God is teaching them and let them know that their insight is valuable.

• Attend your students’ sports games and other extracurricular activities. • Two words: Facebook chat. •

Make a blog for your ministry. Update it weekly with devotions, announcements, youth group reflections and your own personal thoughts. (blogger.com is easy to use and navigate).

• Pick a student up from school and take them somewhere fun. •

s a part-time youth director, I often find myself yearning for more time with students. Two hours a week of program simply isn’t enough! Because I love lists, I have created a list of ways I am going to intentionally dive deeper into my students’ lives for an hour a week. I invite you to join me in the challenge; perhaps it isn’t as difficult as we think! Here are a few simple ways that we can engage in the lives of our students for just 60 minutes a week. These are just a few ideas to help us re-imagine what it means to be involved in the lives of students on a weekly basis. I’m hoping that you accept the challenge and run with it! I know I will. • Keep a list of your students’ birthdays and send out cards monthly. • Take a student with you when you run your errands. • Post a note on a student’s Facebook wall, publicly sharing how much you appreciate them. • Take pictures at youth group and print them for your students to keep.

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• If you notice a student doing something special, recognize him or her for it by sending a letter or note. • Text, text, text! (They call it unlimited for a reason). •

Find ways to get students involved during your weekly program. Invite them to come early to help set up, pass out Bibles or welcome peers.

Make business cards for your youth ministry including the place and time that you meet. Keep a bundle in your wallet to post on the coffee shop’s bulletin board or to hand out at school campuses. (You can get them for free at vistaprint.com).

• Visit students when they gather at school for prom and other special activities. Take pictures with them! • Offer to drive a student home from youth group, even if his or her parents are available. •

Create a tradition of going out for ice cream or coffee after every other youth group meeting. It will be something that they (and you) look forward to!

•

Buy a handful of journals at the local dollar store. Give them out to students periodically with a note from you inside.

• Invite students into your daily life of cooking, eating, exercising, etc. • Leave a message on a student’s voice-mail while they are in school, telling them you’re thankful for them.

Walk the Talk Kaylyn Unterkofler

Warning: Don’t let the log in my own eye knock you out as you read this article.

bet you can run a fun, relevant youth program. I bet you can attract so many students that you literally burst out of the building. I bet you can play the greatest games and serve the best snacks. I bet you can have the loudest worship led by the most talented musicians. I bet you can give the most entertaining messages that capture the attention of every single student. And I bet you can do all of this without being completely, whole-heartedly, head over heels in love with Jesus Christ. Sure, it’ll all fall apart at some point. You’ll burn out eventually. But really, who wants to be another revolving-door youth pastor? Your students need you to love them. Even more importantly, your students need you to love Jesus. Part of our role as volunteer youth workers is to journey alongside students in their walk with God. Did you catch that? We are to journey alongside! There is a major problem when we do the directing, guiding, and teaching without also sharing the journey with our students. I know you are busy people, mainly because I too am a busy person. I am familiar with the challenge of balancing

marriage, education, ministry, family, and my own relationship with Christ. However, our ministry to youth should never substitute our personal devotion to God. This shouldn’t come as news to you. Loving God is the most foundational command of the Bible. Deuteronomy 6:5 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” It’s such a significant thing that Jesus repeats it in the New Testament when He asked about the greatest commandment in the Law. It’s foundational to both our faith and our calling as pastors/volunteers. Revelation 3:1 says, “I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead.” Jesus directed this to the church in Sardis. Is He also directing it to you? You may be running an extraordinary youth ministry, yet what is the current state of your heart? When you take an evaluation of yourself, are you dead or alive? One of the most important prayers for those in leadership comes from Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any

offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Sure, it’s a scary thing to pray. God will answer and it’s not always pretty. If we’re honest with ourselves, discovering the truth is better than living in deception. There is no ministry quite as successful as loving Jesus with everything you’ve got and inviting students to join you in the journey. Ask yourself, where you are at in the journey? You speak of God’s love, but are you loving God with all your heart, soul and strength? You encourage youth to follow in the footsteps of Christ, but are you walking alongside them in the journey of faith? If not, please close this magazine and go love on Jesus. Walk the talk. Stop faking it and go live it. The stakes are too high not to.

“He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 1:8

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Exceptional youth worker

33 years Of youth Ministry Get to know Bob Grussing Gretchen: Many of our Equip readers are faithful volunteers who are leading their church’s youth ministry. What is some advice you would give to such a volunteer who is just starting out? What are some key questions they could ask their church leaders as they prepare for their role?

hours than any other ministry in the church, so if you don’t have time, don’t commit.” I have three requirements of my youth leaders. First and foremost, they need to love God. Second, they need to love teens. And third, they need to have a deep desire to make a difference in the lives of teens.

Bob: Start by asking what the expectations of you are. Once you and the church have decided on those boundaries together, stick to them. Be realistic as you set these boundaries, and be sure to ask what you can expect from the church as far as support. Simply say no to things outside of those expectations. What you do now will set the expectations for future leaders. If your church expects five hours a week, don’t volunteer thirty because the next leader in your position won’t live up to you and is set up to fail. Realize that this is a major commitment if you want to do it well — not merely 1 or 2 hours a week. Also be sure to communicate these expectations to your family. You do not want it to intrude on your family time unless it is agreed upon.

Take an approach to your ministry that is needs based. What are you looking for in a leader? Do you want someone just to fill your space or do you want someone to cook or lead games? Ask yourself what your needs are and find leaders with those gifts. Don’t just accept everyone.

Gretchen: What are a few key things you do to recruit leaders for your ministry? Bob: Before someone accepts a position to volunteer, I try to scare them away. I tell them, “becoming a youth leader requires more volunteer

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Also, ask your youth who they want as leaders. Then approach that person and tell them that “the youth voted and want you as a leader.” That’s harder to turn down. And always bathe your ministry in prayer – continually pray for the right leaders for your group. Don’t do it alone. Gretchen: What tips would you give to a volunteer youth worker who is leading a team of volunteer leaders? Bob: It’s important to meet as a team of leaders to discuss the ministry and to pray. Meet outside of youth group for coffee or breakfast as leaders. Be part of each other’s lives and build community within your leaders. Remember that you’re not the expert

and that there are numerous resources out there to help you. Maybe at a leader’s meeting you could read a book or an article together and discuss it. You could attend a training event together. Build in time to talk about different components of your ministry and how to best communicate with your kids. As you talk and plan, remember that youth ministry is constantly changing, so always be willing to try new and different things. Beg, borrow and steal other people’s ideas. See how you can adapt them to work in your ministry. You don’t have to invent everything from scratch.

YU: Congratulations on 33 years of ministry Bob! We are so thankful for lending us your time and energy for this interview. Thank you for your tremendous support of the ongoing ministry of Youth Unlimited. May God bless you and give you the energy and strength to continue being a mentor to both youth and leaders at LaGrave CRC and beyond. See According to Bob on pg.10

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kids energize me. The best part of ministry for me is taking a kid out for breakfast or coffee and finding out where they are in their walk with Christ and challenging them in that walk.â&#x20AC;?

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Exceptional youth worker

According to Bob

QUESTIONS for Volunteers to ASK CHURCH LEADERS: • • • • • • • • • • • •

Do I get a key to the building? Who is responsible for setting up and cleaning? What are the policies of the church? Does the pastor ever come to the meetings? How does youth ministry fit into the overall vision and ministry of the church? Are there certain things I have to do: small groups, mission trips, bible studies, etc. and are all the formats and requirements flexible? Is there a set curriculum for us to use? What do I do if/when a tough issue arises and who should I go to? What do I do if I need money for the group? How much is available and how do I access it? Are other volunteers expected to pay? Is there a master church calendar that I need to know about and work around? Does the ministry run year round or is there a break over the summer? Is there money available for training for the leaders?

Bob Grussing has been in youth ministry for 33 years and currently serves at LaGrave Christian Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Book Recommendations: • • • •

Family-Based Youth Ministry by Mark DeVries Hurt: Inside the World of Today’s Teenagers by Chap Clark Deep Ministry in a Shallow World: Not-So-Secret Findings about Youth Ministry by Chap Clark and Kara Powell Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers by Christian Smith

Favorite Youth Ministry Games: • Ones that someone else planned! • See Gretchen’s Article on games on pg. 15

Bob on youth ministry: What Bob likes best ... “Kids energize me. The best part of ministry for me is taking a kid out for breakfast or coffee and finding out where they are in their walk with Christ and challenging them in that walk.” What Bob likes least ... “Having to deal with parents and the politics that are sometimes involved in ministry.”

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SERVE2011

If your students are looking around their world and saying, â&#x20AC;&#x153;This is just not rightâ&#x20AC;?... help them do something about it! A widow on a fixed income needed her garage scraped and painted. She gave a friend of a friend $500 to buy paint and do the work. She never saw that man again. He was $500 richer and she was distraught and dejected. Out of money and out of options, she turned to a church for help. Many churches like this, known for their compassion and practical assistance, have asked Youth Unlimited to recruit a student workforce. Your students can be an answer to prayer, giving hands-on help and spreading hope to residents, organizations and congregational members in communities across North America. In just one week, a Youth Unlimited SERVE work force can provide more than 1400 hours of community service! Check out the options for serving at youthunlimited.org/missions and look for our money saving coupon in this issue of Equip.

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TEACHING GOD'S WORD

Mark Knetsch

LECTIO DIVINA A SOUP OF SORTS “The word of God is not received by faith if it flits about in the top of the brain, but when it takes root in the depth of the heart.” — John Calvin

n 2004, my wife Heather and I got married and we moved to Chilliwack, BC for a year-long internship. Because we were just there for a year, a number of families wanted to have the intern pastor and his wife over for coffee after church. Our first experience was strange. I grew up with coffee after church meaning just that: having coffee after church. I was caught off guard when in the middle of enjoying our after church coffee with a family in their home, they started setting the kitchen table. I understood this as a sign for us to leave (and a rather rude one I may add). But, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that this coffee after church included lunch! ... Hello! The lunch was soup and sandwiches for about five Sundays in a row and since the soups were award-winning, my wife would ask each family how they made their soup. Every answer was different. Some described in detail the intricate process of creating their soup while others said, “I just find what’s left in my cupboards and throw it all in a pot!” What does this soup experience have to do with Lectio Divina? The writing staff of Equip asked that I write about Lectio Divina, and what I found out is that Lectio Divina comes in all sorts of recipes. No matter what recipe you use,

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Lectio Divina is an incredibly effective and profound prayerful experience that you and your youth group can practice on a regular basis. However, before we begin to describe how to do Lectio Divina, we have to ask, “what is it?” Lectio Divina means divine or spiritual reading. Its roots date back to the early centuries of the church. Church figures like Origin, St. Benedict, and Guido II have promoted it as a useful exercise of prayer. Simply put, Lectio Divina is a way to pray using Scripture as a guide. Archbishop Thomas Collins of St. Michael’s Cathedral in the Archdiocese of Toronto says that Lectio Divina is, “An encounter with the word of God. Not just the text, but the word of God.” In short, Lectio Divina is taking an intentional time-out with God by allowing God’s Word to rest in the inner recesses of the soul. Now to try different recipes ... Guido II, a 12th century monk from France, offers this structured recipe, as he divides the prayer up into four parts: 1.

Lectio (reading): As a leader, read a short passage from scripture. Read it slowly. Ask that the teens focus on really listening to each word and phrase.

Meditatio (meditation): Invite the teens to ponder a word or a phrase that popped out at them when you read the text. Allow time for the teens to ‘chew’ the passage in their minds. Ask if the youth would like to say out loud the one word or phrase that struck them.

Oratio (prayer): Reread the passage slowly once again. What is God asking from the teens in this passage? This is not an intellectual exercise. This is praying through Scripture. If they are comfortable, invite the youth to speak out loud what they think God is saying through this passage. No comment is a bad comment (unless it really is a bad comment, you can follow up with that later).

4. Contemplatio (union with God): Reread the passage one last time. This more mysterious part of the process is a time where we try to imagine what it means to be one with Christ. Invite the teens to use their imagination with questions like, “If it is true that we are united with Christ (Eph. 2:19-22), what does that feel like?” and “What difference does this union with Christ make in our lives?”

Guido’s is the classic process of Lectio Divina but there are a million different ways you could lead a group through this process. It can be a silent experience with just the leader guiding the exercise. It can also be a shared experience where teens say out loud things that pop in their minds. Let’s continue to taste a few of the other recipes out there. Rev. Matthew Moretz of Christ’s Church Episcopalian (or Anglican for those of us who are Canadian) in Rye, NY simplifies Lectio Divina in three parts (check out fathermatthewpresents.com). 1. Reading: Read the passage slowly, allowing the words to sink into you. 2. Meditation: Allow the passage or a single word from the passage to stir up something in you. 3. Prayer: Allow the passage to lead you into prayer. Ask God to reveal His truth in this word or passage. Archbishop Thomas Collins leads his parish through a tailored version of Lectio Divina once a month at St.

Michael’s Cathedral in the Archdiocese of Toronto. This is how he teaches it: 1.

Quieting of the heart: After reading the text, invite the Holy Spirit to illumine your heart. This is time to say, “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.”

2. The Mind: Read the passage again slowly. Probe the mind: What does this passage teach me about myself? 3.

The Heart: Read the passage again slowly. Probe the heart: How do these words draw me to love the Lord? How can they prompt me to serve?

4. Closing: Read a passage verse-by verse again and end with time of silent reflection. Here’s yet another recipe from Friar Jim Martin, author of My Life with Saints: 1. Read passage: What does the text say? 2. Read passage: What does the text say to me? 3. Read passage: What do I want to say to God about the text?

As we were enjoying soup and sandwiches for the fourth Sunday in a row in Chilliwack, Heather leaned over to me and whispered, “Isn’t it odd how we have had soup after church four weeks in a row?” My wife thought it was incredible (and a little strange) how everyone had their own version of soup and ate it after church every Sunday. For me, it was normal. I grew up that way. I just called it lunch as opposed to it being included in coffee after church. However, Heather didn’t grow up with soup on Sundays, just as many of us didn’t grow up with Lectio Divina. Heather thought it was a little strange. Many of us think that Lectio Divina is a little strange. We are used to a pastor telling us what a passage says, we are not used to meditating through scripture to hear God’s word. Lectio Divina takes imagination, creativity, vulnerability, silence (yikes!) and patience. It may feel strange at first, but prepare to be amazed at both your teen’s openness and their profound insights as you try it.

4. Read passage: What does the text say about my life?

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Events

Easter is Coming! Cody Statema

hat are you doing for Easter? During January’s deep freeze (especially in Minnesota), it is hard to believe that spring will ever come again. However, it will with Easter following soon after! This year Easter falls on April 24 and it will be here before you know it. So, what are you going to do for Easter to celebrate the most momentous and joyous event in all of human history? To help you plan ahead, prompt some ideas and encourage the use of your youth’s gifts to share the good news of Easter, here are some options to think about. Easter Texting Vigil Are the majority of your youth glued to their cell phones developing texting calluses on their thumbs? If so, organize a texting vigil. Encourage your youth to participate by keeping their phones on or near them (probably won’t have to twist any arms to make that happen). Then send periodic messages referring them to Scripture passages, prayer themes and reflection topics from Thursday night through Sunday morning. You could culminate

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the vigil on Sunday morning with a final message saying, “He is Risen! Come and See Now! At [insert a home, church room, etc.]” and have a quick breakfast together to begin your Easter Sunday before going to worship with the whole church family. Children’s Easter Egg Hunt Do you have a group of students who love younger children? Encourage them to organize an Easter Egg Hunt outreach for your community. Each student’s gifts are different. While some may be natural and gifted teachers to do an Easter lesson for the children who come, others may be up for performing an Easter theme skit to present the gospel and still others may be more gifted in preparing the eggs and hiding them. Get creative and challenge your youth to make the gospel their good news by sharing it with children and reaching out to the community. Easter Lily Caroling Are there a lot of elderly in your church or a nursing home in your community?

Plan for a time on Saturday to visit the elderly or nursing homes to do some Easter caroling and distribute Easter lilies! This is a great way to reach across generational lines, bless others, and celebrate the joy of Easter. Make sure you take time to talk to and relate with those whom you meet. Check with your church secretary for Easter lily deals which are usually sent to the church office. Easter lilies may be hard to come by on the weekend of Easter, so you may need to plan ahead. Celebrate! Want more ideas? Ask your youth! Ask them how they want to celebrate this day of days and how they would like to share the wonderful good news of Jesus Christ! Help them take ownership of what they want to do and use it as an opportunity to help them learn to share the gospel.

Happy Easter! He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!

Tried and True Games Gretchen Driesenga

There is one computer file that I am frequently opening and updating: The Games File. Games can rise and fall in popularity within my group. Some games become unexpected favorites and others fail to meet my hopes and expectations. After nearly a decade of youth ministry, here are two of my favorites that have withstood the test of time. In both my middle school and high school youth groups, these are the two most requested games and they are fun, engaging and require little preparation on your behalf. The first game simply requires a large circle trash can and a large room. This game can stand alone as the game for the night or is great to play to fill extra, unplanned time.

Trash Can in the Middle (TCITM) Supplies: A large plastic trash can To Play: Have players form a circle while holding hands or wrists and place the trash can in the middle, thus the self-evident name of the game. When the leader says “Go”, each player tries to force others to hit the trash can by pushing or pulling the circle. There are two ways to get out of the game: 1) if a player touches the trash can or 2) if two players let go of each other’s hands or wrists, then they are both out. When someone gets out, the circle reforms and the remaining players start again. The game ends when one person is left.

The other game that is frequently requested by my students is called Night Crossing. This is a great game during the winter months when you might be indoors due to colder temperatures and a lack of daylight. Plan on around an hour for this game.

Night Crossing Supplies: Scrap paper cut up into small squares (estimate 10 to 15 pieces per player), 2 to 3 flashlights and 2 pencils or pens.

works best if your adults know about the game ahead of time and can wear dark clothing. If a player is caught, they have to give their paper to whoever tagged them and go back to their home base to pick up another piece of paper. This game should be timed, so have a designated sound (a bull horn, whistles, etc.) to signal the end of the game. At the end, the whole group should meet back in one area to tally points and declare a winner!

To Play: Split your group into 2 teams and send each team to a home base. The home bases should be on opposite ends of the church building (opposite floors if possible) and designated as Base 1 and Base 2. There should be one score keeper in each home base that has a pile of cut up paper squares and a pen or pencil. When the game begins, the score keeper will give one slip of paper to each team member. The slips of paper in Base 1 should have a 1 written on it, and Base 2 should have a respective 2. When a player gets a piece of paper, they need to make it across the building to the other base and have that score keeper put their initials on it. They then need to bring it back to their score keeper to get a point. The catch is that all the lights are off in the church and there are 2 or 3 adults roaming the building trying to tag players with their flashlight. It

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Family connection

Koen Beugelink

e minister to them in our church basements and they live among us in community. What is for certain, when we view the cultural landscape of the North American teen, is that they are a force to be reckoned with. Along with all the wonderful (and there are many) natural attractions that come with working alongside teens, the geography of their world is changing. The “erosion” of society, adolescent “climate change” and the shifting of “demographic plates” has created rifts and phenomenons that have impacted the cultural landscape of our teens. Consider this: •

Tweens at the early end of adolescence have the most disposable income of any demographic and are the focus of consumer-based marketers. Car companies commit hundreds of thousands of marketing dollars towards TV commercials aimed at tweens who can not yet drive these cars, but who marketers know have serious consumer clout. (Check some of Toyota’s commercials with the recurring Nathan James character at youtube.com/ ToyotaUSA)

•

Communications conglomerates invest millions of research dollars annually into the social trends of teenagers to keep their technology and companies leading the industry.

• School systems that segregate tweens and teens from real adults

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(adults that are not trained to educate teens) for 7–8 hours a day.

•

Parents who out-source most all of their faith-nurturing responsibilities to churches/ministries and count only on professional youth workers to engage the spiritual needs of their teens.

•

An adult population that is reluctant to bestow the title of man or woman on its emerging adults, still wading through the sticky quagmire of adolescent culture.

Interestingly, it only seems to be western culture that is so uniquely infatuated with the period of adolescence where so much energy, attention and economics is aimed at this demographic. The result: perhaps a teen-focused barren wasteland, an adolescent landscape of narcissism or an opportunity to closely examine how adolescents are really shaped into adults in this teen-focused milieu. Though the adolescent landscape is intensely focused on itself, we must remember that the teen is not only, or even mostly, shaped or influenced by the sum of its adolescent cultural parts. Despite what we may think about the narcissistic leanings of teens, it seems they are aware that they are part of something bigger than the sphere of teen-ness that surrounds them. As youth workers, we must not assume that what we hear teens saying or what

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we see them doing always reflects how suddenly interested in doing it. I will they feel about those that influence admit I was tempted to pat myself on them. For instance, as youth workers, the back. Instead I reminded her that it is not uncommon for us to hear the message clicked only because it youth complain about the annoying was the same message she had been habits of parents, relatives, teachers or sending to him over the years. It only other adults that made sense to her drive them nuts. son now because Though the adolescent What we may be he knew that the landscape is intensely tempted to do, message he had focused on itself, we must heard before was a but in fact must not do, is discount remember that the teen is sound one. This was the effectiveness not only, or even mostly, proven by the fact of those adults that he told her about shaped or influenced by in influencing it when he got home those teens to that night. In fact, the sum of its adolescent make positive life cultural parts. what he was saying choices. When to his mom when he push comes to shove, teens are able got home was, â&#x20AC;&#x153;you were right mom.â&#x20AC;? to track who has been instrumental As much as it is easier to see the in directing their moral compass. For teen focused corporate monoliths many, it is the influence of that same and the earth shattering teen-geared annoying mom or dad they love to technology on the landscape of spout off about. adolescence, we must not lose sight of I recently had a parent approach me with light frustration. Her son returned from a youth night excited that I had addressed the content of the current wave of top 40 music. I had called for greater discernment in consuming music, apparently a lesson she had been working on with her son for the last few years. What was different about this occasion was that he agreed and was willing to examine his music selection more closely. The mother lamented in frustration that it was only because I had suggested discernment that her son was now

the deep oases our teens still prefer. They are the people primed with deep relational skills and great permission to speak truth into the lives of youth journeying toward adulthood. It is vitally important for us in our ministries to know who they are in our church communities and then model what it is those Godly influencers are saying and doing.

SURVEY SAYS

In a recent survey of parents, it was found that the number one goal parents have for their children is that they would get a good education. Only half as many parents considered their children having a relationship with Jesus Christ as important as their childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s education. The Barna Research Group

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Communication

Advocate for Youth Jeff Gates

had a brilliant idea! What if I were to poll parents about which direction to take the youth ministry? I knew how important it was to be in communication with parents, to come alongside them and to include them in the youth ministry. I drafted a letter explaining what I would like to do, the options for doing it and a space for them to respond. Brilliant … until the Senior Pastor approached me with the letter in his hand and asked me why this was the first time he had heard about it. Fortunately, he wasn’t upset. He liked the idea. He just didn’t like to find out about these kinds of decisions after the fact. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Parents are not the only ones we should be communicating with. As youth workers, we love our teens and want what’s best for them. We have a lot of great (and often crazy) ideas of how to encourage them to meet and grow with Jesus. However, most of us volunteer in a church setting and use church resources meaning our ministry is part of the budget. Therefore, we need the ongoing support of the congregation. The more the whole church knows about youth ministry and why we do the things we do, the more they will be excited to support the crazy ideas we have. Here are some ideas toward gaining support: •

Take some time to think through your vision for youth ministry at your church. Ask God what His vision is for your church’s youth ministry and what your role is within that vision. Journal your thoughts and feelings over a month or two. Compile your thoughts and write out your vision. Know it and be ready to share it easily. (Youth Unlimited is able to assist you in this through a full or mini version of our Compass 21 ministry.)

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Schedule an appointment with your senior pastor(s). Ask them to share their vision for the youth ministry (this could be done in conjunction with the previous idea). Then share your vision. Let them see your heart and passion for teens. Explain some of the things you would like to do in order to head toward that vision and ask for more ideas. The more the senior pastor is included, the more support you will gain.

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Update the congregation. Include your events and meeting times in the bulletin so that the congregation knows what’s going on. After significant events, trips, or youth retreats, ask for 5 or 10 minutes during the service to share the experience with the congregation. Include pictures and, if possible, comments from a few of the teens who were there. Be prepared, succinct and be sure to explain why it was important.

• Inform ahead of time. Before scheduling significant events or trips, be sure to inform your senior pastor(s) (or others you report to). Explain the purpose, goals and all the details. When the church is informed and included in what the youth ministry is doing, we will have much more freedom to do the things we are convinced will help our teens grow with Jesus. Most criticism comes from misunderstanding and misinformation. It’s our job to properly inform and help people understand. In doing this, we are the advocates for our youth. An advocate is someone who speaks on behalf of another person. As youth workers, we are their advocates, the bridge between the youth ministry and the rest of the congregation. That means giving the church a glimpse of what youth ministry is all about, why it’s important and how it is affecting the young people who attend. When we explain what we are doing and why we are doing it, the church begins to share in our passion to see young people walk with Jesus … and they begin to get excited about our great (and crazy) ideas!

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Galatians 6:9-10 18

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LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT

K I N D S O F L E A D E R S W E S H O U L D P U R S U E I N YO U T H M I N I S T R Y

et me start with some encouragement: It is possible to recruit a great leadership team ... Then let me say this: It just may not happen by September 2011. I could be wrong but, in my experience the dream team doesn’t happen overnight. Over time, you and your congregation will begin to understand what kind of leaders your youth need that can effectively walk alongside them on their journey to adulthood. Youth ministry is founded upon relationships. Of course, our hope is that those relationships be effective enough to encourage and empower our youth to deepen their faith in Jesus Christ. However, along the way, we are going to need to rely on people to make it happen. Here is a list of the five kinds of people I am looking for in developing a leadership team. Passionate | Though this sounds obvious, it sadly needs to be said: Bring on board people that are passionate about youth and young people! • • • •

Simply meeting your safe church policy ratios with willing bodies that have passed police checks is counter-productive Bible school students that are simply writing off service practicum hours will suck the wind out of your leadership sails People that want to get into ministry to “fix what is wrong with teenagers” are probably more passionate about that than they are about listening to teenagers Look for people with a passion that only people like you can figure out

Keon Beugelink

Ordinary | At first glance this might seem diametrically opposed to the first point. Relax, it isn’t. Your ministry needs passionate people that are ordinary – leaders that represent the mix of kids you have. • • • •

People that hated high school Odd ducks that like tying flies and carving dolphins out of drift wood Listeners that can abide. Those gifted people that can just sit and not feel like they’ve got to do something to draw attention to themselves like some of the annoying passionate types … (me) Leaders that do not all look just like Brangelina

Learners | Youth ministry/culture/trends ebbs and flows and is a changing game. Your team needs to be able to adapt and learn on the fly. Bring people onto your team that want to stay on top of things. • • • •

Ask prospects what they are learning about youth and youth ministry Ask them what they want to learn in regards to youth ministry, culture and trends Key in on those who are at least 10 or more years removed from your teens. They are typically passionate to learn Leaders who have made mistakes, repented and learned from them

Teachers | Key leaders, youth elders and youth directors also need to learn. Pulling people into your leadership

team with skills sets, ministry experience or life experience you don’t have, can be a huge asset to your team if you are willing to learn from them. • • •

Social workers/police officers Parents and grandparents of teens Anyone that you are able to watch and learn from

Committed | In his book, Your First Two Years In Youth Ministry, Doug Fields states, “youth ministry is a marathon, not a sprint.” If you are bringing people onto your team that are looking for accolades or fruit from their labor within a year of service, they are going to be tough to win a marathon with. • • •

Look for leaders who can commit to four or more years Look for leaders that can work in the trenches of youth ministry when it gets tough Look for leaders that won’t get trapped in the, “but they don’t like me” game

Think marathon and it can be done.

“Over time, you and your congregation will begin to understand what kind of leaders your youth need that can effectively walk alongside them on their journey to adulthood.”

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LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT

FROM SMALL TALK TO SALVATION

HOW TO BRING CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THE WEATHER TO WHETHER OR NOT JESUS IS the CHRIST

Ryan kimmel

or youth leaders wanting to be able to talk more naturally about God in everyday conversation, there are a few things to remember which help make a more fluid shift when attempting to move the discussion from sports to the Spirit. 1. Look In: How is God working in your own life?

Before we think we can bring God into a conversation, we must first be able to describe how He’s working in our own lives. If I asked you the question, “How has God been moving in your life this week?” and you gave a fumbled answer, I would suggest it might be best to work on talking about how God is working in your daily life before you try to work Him into your next conversation. It goes back to the old saying that we must know what we’re talking about…

2. Look Up: We’re called to be…what?

In Acts 1:8, what does Jesus say the disciples are to be for Him? Every English translation uses the same word: witnesses! We’re not called to be the Judge or the Lawyer, but Witnesses. All that witnesses do is simply testify to what they’ve seen and heard, and that’s what we’ve got to do, testify to how God is working in our lives. Also, if you know the people that you are talking to, as you see God working in your life, see how He’s working in their lives and tell them what you have witnessed.*

3. Look Out: Where’s the love?

Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 13 that if we don’t have love, then we are only a “clanging symbol.” If you are looking into the face of the person you’re talking with and you do not love him/her or if you are not compelled by love, then don’t

bring up God, because your words will just be a “noisy gong.” Love makes things authentic; it makes us credible. Get that and people won’t confuse you with God’s salesperson who is selling time-shares in Heaven.

Once those three points are in check, here are some lead-in questions I often use when talking with our teens and want to bring up God.

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