Children in a Digital Age

THIRD EDITION

Children in a Digital Age

PARENT GUIDE

In today’s fast paced digital age, often parents feel left behind while their children seem to be easily navigating every rapid change and innovation. It is no wonder many parents are at a loss of how to assist, monitor and guide their children through the digital maze of the Web 2.0 explosion.

Resource Guide Designed & Developed by: Eliezer Jones, Ph.D.

Educational Technology Specialist Institute for University-School Partnership Yeshiva University

Often parents either make quick and extreme decisions or no decision at all regarding technology because they just don’t know enough about it.

We hope this guide begins to assist parents in making informed decisions about technology, social media and the internet that are best for their children and family.

Contents: 2-7

Social Media Internet & Technology

8-11

Cell Phones

12-15

Video Games

16-19

Cyberbullying

20-23

Special thanks to Rabbi Norman Lowenthal, MSW, MS Ed., LCSW-C (normanlowenthal@yahoo.com) and Dr.Graduate Rona Novick A division of Azrieli School (RNovick1@yu.edu) of Jewish Education and Administration

for their contributions to the guide.

"KinzChat PLUS" area. In that area (recommended for ages 10+), kids can only use words from the site's dictionary.

Social Networking Sites for Kids The most popular digital communities for every age

Social Media

By Melissa Rayworth, Parenting

Today, kids start wading into the social networking waters as soon as their little fingers can type, exploring digital "communities," many of them designed mainly to stoke their fascination with particular toys. New sites launch constantly, targeting an ever-younger audience.

KINDERGARTEN THROUGH EARLY SCHOOL AGE

The focus is on communal game-playing and earning points to buy virtual things, rather than socializing.

There's some messaging between friends, but most sites allow young kids only to post messages using prewritten, generic phrases or words from a tightly restricted dictionary.

Kids can't share personal information like a home address. Among the most popular: Webkinz.com: Free for one year with purchase of a Webkinz or Lil'Kinz toy.

Owners feed and clothe digital versions of their plush "pets" and play games to earn virtual "KinzCash."

They can play video games against other kids or take quizzes designed for players 5+. They're rewarded for spending lots of time on the site, so you may need to impose time limits.

Safety-wise, kids can't type messages that go beyond select phrases unless a parent approves their access to the 2

ClubPenguin.com: This hugely popular Disney-owned website charges a membership fee (about $5/month, depending on the plan you choose).

Kids are represented by penguin avatars rather than by images of themselves. By playing games, they earn virtual money to clothe and accessorize their penguins and decorate their igloos. They can send other penguins a "buddy invite," visit their igloo, chat using predetermined phrases -- unless they get clearance from parents to chat freely -- and send postcards, among other things. (They can also snub each other!) Designed for kids 6-14, but open to all ages.

ELEMENTARY AND MIDDLE SCHOOL Whyville.com: Free, designed for kids 8-15. Like Webkinz and ClubPenguin, it involves playing games to earn virtual money (in this case, "clams") for use in building an avatar. Rather than being represented as a cartoon animal, Whyville members create avatars that represent their physical selves. That's one step closer to the vibe of more grown-up sites, but it's still more a virtual world/gaming space than a true social networking site. Chat among new members is restricted to prewritten phrases, but those who pass a "chat license test" (to show they understand online safety) have more freedom to type personal messages to friends. Some words are blacklisted. This site doesn't hawk toys and is more educational than most.

Dgamer.com (Disney XD): Access is free with purchase of certain Disney video games. Kids have avatars, can chat and send virtual gifts, but the priority is gaming via the networking capability of a Nintendo DS. The basic chat function allows only

prewritten phrases. Parental approval is required for more advanced chatting ("Open Chat" and "Speed Chat Plus"), which is watched over by human moderators. A warning: Teach kids the difference between Dgamer's "public chat" (where strangers can read and join their conversations) and "private chat" (limited to those you've approved as friends).

YOUNG TEENS AND BEYOND Facebook was once the realm of college students and grown-ups, but high school and even middle school kids have discovered them. Facebook is now open to anyone 13 and older.

Sound far away? Your kids may already be seeing their friends' older siblings using these sites, or they may even have fudged their birthdate to register themselves! If you're not already using them, learn about them now.

Facebook and other social networking sites offers broad freedom to post words, images, audio files and video.

So step one is talking with your kids about the importance of not sharing personal information with strangers, not posting photos that could embarrass themselves or their friends, and steering clear of cyber-bullying.

But the risk with these type of sites is that anyone can post a comment about your child or identify them in the caption of an embarrassing photo -- kids can't control their friends' behavior. Older versions of a web page are stored on servers and can pop up when your child least expects it -- like during the college admissions process.

Your child shouldn't accept "friend requests" from people he or she doesn't know well. Join these sites along with your kids and immediately set up a "friend" connection with them. They may not like it, but then you can see who their friends are and what they're posting.

FACEBOOK LINGO Profile: A group of pages that act as a combination of an online journal, message board, and photo album.

Facebook profiles may include your work information, hometown, photos, interests, and messages from friends on your "wall" (see next entry).

Wall: A virtual message board on Facebook, where friends type messages and can comment on the photos, videos, and status updates you've posted on your profile. The wall can be a source of embarrassment when friends leave messages referencing incidents best left unmentioned (often beginning with "I was just remembering that time...").

This is where the delete function comes in handy.

Status Update: This feature lets you post a short note about your status (what you're doing at any given time) and lends itself to abuse by the uninhibited ("Jane is going to the proctologist"). To tell all (or just a little), fill in the "What's on your mind?" field on your personal profile page and click on the button to share.

Friend: Anyone whom you accept into your online circle, and anyone who accepts you into theirs, is called a "friend," whether the person is a close relative or a complete stranger. This title in no way confers an actual relationship of any sort and may lead

to learning superfluous personal details about casual acquaintances (see "Status Update").

Poke: A friendly—and sometimes flirtatious—way of saying hello to friends and more-than-friends. To send a virtual poke, click on the related link on friends' profile pages. Your friends receive private notification of the action—letting them know you're trying to get their attention. We say: Keep poking to a minimum. And if you do it, remember your manners: All poking should be welcome and consensual.

News Feed: This up-to-the-minute feature on the Facebook home page alerts you to your friends' profile updates—photos added or work information changed, for example. The news feed was a controversial feature when it was added in 2006, as users first believed the constant broadcasting of information would violate their privacy (see next entry).

Privacy: A term dating back to circa 2004...before the invention of Facebook and other social-networking sites. Generally regarded as passé.

Source: http://www.aarp.org

_______________________________

Decoding Internet Lingo & Character Symbols http://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teenstoday/teens-and-technology/internetlingo.aspx

• Talk to your kids/students about what is appropriate and not appropriate information to release on the Internet. Take an active role in their digital life.

• Protect your kids digital identity by creating news alerts for their name on Google, Yahoo! & MSN. • Talk about the implications “lifecasting (a continual broadcast of events in a person's life through digital media)” can and will have on their future.

• Remind kids that the web is that "permanent record" we were all warned about. Even though you go back and change that blog entry or delete that embarrassing photo, the information is archived on the Internet Archive/Wayback Machine.

• Whether it's Club Penguin, MyYearbook or MySpace--make sure your kids learn how and why they should use privacy filters--and then double check to make sure they are using them.

• Visit the sites your kids use and read the TOS (Terms of Service) and/or Community Guidelines.

Learn how to report abuse and share the information with your kids. And while you're at it, learn more about the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA).

• Social networks are self-policing, if you find objectionable content, bullying or other abuse—report it!

Think of it as a 21st Century Neighborhood Watch program. http://www.debaird.net/

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At the heart of Twitter are small bursts of information called Tweets. Each Tweet is 140 characters long, but don’t let the small size fool you—you can discover a lot in a little space.

You can see photos, videos and conversations directly in Tweets to get the whole story at a glance, and all in one place. http://twitter.com/ about we generally recommend that he or she block that user and end any communication. Ending communication Talking with your children about their with bullies shows them that you are not online activities is one of the best ways you willing to engage with them, and often they lose interest. It also demonstrates to can keep them safe. Being able to maintain an ongoing, positive conversation others that your child is not involved in similar behavior and that he or she is with them about social networking acting against bullying. experiences online and offline may make them more likely to talk to you when Many bullying or harassment issues uncomfortable or potentially unsafe online online usually start from problems offline. situation come up. Check out our Twitter Basics section of the Help Center for more Blocking prevents a user from following your child’s Tweets and can minimize on how to set up and use a Twitter incentives to persist in the bullying account. conduct online. This help page on blocking shows you how to block other Following someone on Twitter means that you are subscribing to their Tweets as users. Twitter believes that bullying is a a Follower. When you follow another user, serious issue and we have provided all users with the ability to block other users. their updates will appear in your home

How Do I Protect my Kids on Twitter?

timeline. That person also has permission to send you personal Tweets, called direct messages.

You can also follow your child (or anyone else!) on Twitter in several different ways, all of which are listed in this helpful article on how to follow another user: How to Follow Others. This can help you keep up with what is happening with your child and allow you to understand what they may dealing with online.

That said, since online harassment is usually rooted in "real world" relationships, blocking another user is sometimes just a temporary fix. Determined bullies may create new accounts on Twitter and other social media services, so sometimes it is more helpful to deal with the person or issue offline by working with school officials, the bully’s parents, or other local be authorities.

What happens if my child is being harassed on Twitter?

Can you delete your child’s account?

Twitter is great because it allows users to communicate directly with each other, but just as in school or on the playground, there are a few people who want to ruin things for everyone else.

Twitter only removes profiles that are in violation of the Twitter Rules and Terms of Service. You should talk with your child and work with him or her to remove the account by following these directions: http://support.twitter.com/articles/15358

If your child is receiving unwanted communications from another Twitter user,

Twitter is not for children under the age of 13. We do not knowingly collect

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Twitter Safety Tips Never give out your twitter password.

Remember that even private Tweets can occasionally be read and can be archived by third party services even if you deleted them.

Never Tweet your phone number.

Don't tweet specifics about your location.

Mark your tweets private so that only your friends can read them.

Don't Tweet and Drive.

Keep Your Profile Information Short.

Only follow people you know in real life.

personal information from children under 13. If you become aware that your child under the age of 13 has provided us with personal information without your consent, please contact us at privacy@twitter.com, and we will take steps to remove this information and terminate the account.

You can learn more by visiting Twitter’s Privacy Policy.

From Twitter Help Center: http://bit.ly/hfpUMr

What Parents Need to Know About YouTube.

Do you have a teenager that spends hours on the internet? Do you know what type of websites they are visiting and what they are doing?

Chances are your teen will have a Facebook account and they will likely use YouTube to post and watch videos. YouTube is a great place where you can watch historical videos, TV shows, music videos, and other great videos. It is also a place where you need to be careful as you can end up clicking on an inappropriate video and really regret what you just saw and heard. As parents we need to make sure we are doing all that we can to keep our kids safe and this will involve getting in

ViewPure

Watch YouTube videos without comments, suggestions, or the 'other' things. www.ViewPure.com

touch with YouTube and finding out whatViewPure your kids are looking at.

YouTube does try to flag some videos for adults only as they may be inappropriate for younger viewers.

They have a notice that will come up and you need to click that you are 18 years old and input your user information before you will be allowed to watch the video. As we know, teens can easily get around something as simple as this content filter so what can we do in order to keep them safer? It comes down to talking to your kids and making sure they are looking at appropriate content. When you have open discussions with them and you let them know what type of things they should and should not be looking at, it will make it much easier to trust them.

However you can help them to avoid the temptation by changing the safety settings in YouTube.

Log into your account and scroll to the bottom of any page. Click on “safety” and then make sure it says “Safe mode ON”. This will remove all the swear words and inappropriate language and replace them with symbols and stars. The other thing it will do is filter out any of the videos that are linked to words like “sex” and “nudity”. This can also help to prevent your children from seeing videos that are inappropriate for their age.

YouTube is free to use and you don’t need to have an account to use it. So even if you try to make your kids use your account only, they can still watch all the videos they want without signing into the account. You will need to really try hard to make sure they aren’t using YouTube for inappropriate things or it may come down to the point where you end up needing to block the website from your home computers. Of course you

do need to be careful since teenagers often have smartphones and other devices where they are able to access YouTube. Being able to have YouTube in your pocket is a blessing and a curse and for parents, it usually sides with the latter.

Not only do you need to be cautious about the videos your kids are watching, what about the videos they are making? Do their videos contain anything that is illegal or anything that is violent or inappropriate? You need to ensure that they are not uploading inappropriate videos as well. It is also important to make sure your children aren’t giving out their personal information or filing where they can be identified. The videos are available to anyone so you need to be very careful as the entire world can easily find out where you live and this can put your entire families safety at risk.

The other thing you need to know is that anyone can comment on the video as well. This can lead to a lot of inappropriate comments but it can also lead to hurtful ones as well and this can really have a big impact on your child.

Source: http://www.surfnetkids.com

Click on underlined text to read more.

• Flag videos that violate our Community Guidelines.

• Keep personal videos private.

• Block users whose comments or messages are bothering you.

• Keep comments clean and respectful.

• Learn more about online safety.

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5 Fun and Safe Social Networks for Children TOGETHERVILLE Parents can sign up their children by using their own Facebook accounts to create a profile for their kids on this Facebook-like site. Once parents have selected friends for their children by searching other students at their child’s schools, adding family friends from their own Facebook profiles, and sending e-mail invites, children have access to selected YouTube videos, games, and creative projects. The site has other features that mirror Facebook, like the ability to “heart it,” buy and send gifts using a virtual currency (the twist is that parents give the currency to their children free of cost as “allowance”), and share videos and other parts of the site with their friends.

Where the site departs from Facebook puts many parents’ minds at rest: no outside links, no unapproved friends, and no private conversations. In order to post original comments instead of pre-set options, children must agree to this code of conduct: “I agree to not say anything mean or hurtful, not say embarrassing things about myself, my friends, or my family, and take responsibility for what I say on Togetherville.”

Togetherville’s target age group is under 10, which makes pre-set comment options like “Hampsters are so CUTE!” understandable. The site also facilitates parents’ participation in their children’s introduction to social media by encouraging parent-child interaction.

Not only can parents view their child’s social network activity, but they can also post messages to his or her wall, allocate “virtual allowances,” and send virtual gifts.

WHAT’s WHAT This site is probably the most secure social network for kids on this list. In order to sign their children up, parents need to submit their credit card information to verify their identity and they must submit three mug shots (taken with a webcam) of their child for the site’s records. As with every site on this list, I was still 6

able to create a profile as an adult and therefore browse friends in “my grade,” which I selected as seventh. Unlike the other sites, however, the What’s What team had discovered my adult presence (via those mug shots) within about six hours and blocked my profile.

charging one cent to a credit card. Beyond that, the site provides the social networking experience that comes closest to mainstream social media networks, making it more appealing to older children who want more autonomy than is allowed on some of the other sites.

While children are free to interact with people they don’t know, they can’t make friends with people who are out of their age group (in their grade or one grade below or above theirs) without parental permission.

Beyond this, the network functions much like the others: users can exchange messages, make friends, join and create groups, and view their friends’ profiles.

Parents can edit or delete their children’s profiles at any time, and everything posted on the site is monitored.

Profile pages function much like a Facebook wall: friends can leave comments, children can update their status, and activity on the site — like joining groups — is reported on their page. Children also have options to send private message, upload photos, and join the fan pages of celebrities like the Jonas Brothers and Ryan Seacrest, which are updated via the celebrities’ Twitter feeds.

The intended age group for the site is between 8 and 14, which seems realistic given that two big draws of social networking — the ability to “make friends” with new people and share your thoughts with others — are retained.

SCUTTLEPAD To sign up for ScuttlePad, kids provide their birthday, favorite color, first name, and parent’s e-mail address, and they’re not allowed on the site until their parents approve it. Once logged in, they’re free to post messages, make friends, upload photos, and make comments — but with a catch. All comments on the site need to follow a given format and use a given set of words. Messages are composed within the framework, “I’m click, click, click,” with each click leading to a choice of words. Photos are manually approved by ScuttlePad, and only first names are used on the site.

The comment outline feature makes the site more secure. Realistically, anyone of any age, with any malicious intention, could sign up, but it’s hard to do much damage with the pre-set communication options.

Similarly, it’s impossible to cyber bully or even really hurt anyone’s feelings using the preset options.

On the other hand, this feature can be restricting to the point of making the online experience dull to older kids. The site is intended to teach children ages 6 to 11 about how to use a social media site, and it definitely accomplishes that goal. It might be most engaging, however, for kids on the younger end of that age group.

giantHello Parents can verify their identities and sign their children up for giantHello by either providing the last four digits of their social security number or by

As far as the social media experience goes, giantHello parts from its mainstream counterpart by removing the “search for friends” function. Children need to either invite friends via an e-mail or print out a page with an invitation code to give them. Therefore, they can’t make friends with people who they don’t know.

Skid-e Kids Skid-e kids relies on staff moderators for most of its security features: if a comment is flagged by a filter for inappropriate language or disclosure of personally identifiable information, it is sent to human moderation; all photos are checked by moderators; users submit articles and stories for a “written by you” section that are edited for inappropriate language and personal information before they’re posted; and interest group pages are moderated.

Unlike most sites, parents and children both are encouraged to create profiles on the same network.

Users can exchange messages, update their statuses, upload video (which needs to be approved before it is posted), and compete against each other for high scores on any of the free games on the site.

Unfortunately most of these games are prefaced by ads, and although they are advertised as educational, it’s hard to see how something like “Powerpuff coloring” fits this description.

The advantage of this site, especially for older children, is that much of the moderation is provided by the site itself. Parents aren’t required to constantly check in or approve decisions, but can instead focus on interacting with their children on the same network.

http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networkschildren/

resources

Growing Up Online http://www.pbs.org/ wgbh/pages/frontline/ kidsonline/ FRONTLINE on PBS released a new program discussing how the Internet is transforming childhood. iSAFE America http://www.isafe.org/ iSAFE is a non-profit organization that offers Internet Safety education and materials for students, teachers, parents, and law enforcement.

StaySafe.org http://www.staysafe.org/ Wide range of information on computer, gaming and Internet safety.

Materials for kids, teens and parents.

IkeepSafe http://www.ikeepsafe.org/ The Internet Keep Safe Coalition group teaches basic rules of Internet safety to children and parents.

Governors and/or first spouses formed this coalition in partnership with crime prevention organizations, law enforcement agencies, foundations and corporate sponsors.

WiredSafety http://www.wiredsafety.org/ WiredSafety is an online safety, education and help group that focuses on assisting law enforcement

on preventing and investigating cybercrimes education, providing information on online safety, privacy and security.

Safety is No Game. Is Your Family Set? Make a PACT Today! http://download.microsoft.com/ download/d/1/8/d181ee58de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/ PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdf A tool to help promote healthy and balanced media use. From Microsoft and National PTA. Childnet International http://www.childnet-int.org/ A non-profit organization working with others to help make the Internet a fun and safe place for children.

Center for Media and Child Health http://www.cmch.tv/ Conducts and advances scientific research on the effects of media on young minds and bodies; develops and evaluates clinical interventions; and educates children, parents, and the public on media and their effects on the physical, mental, and social health of all children.

Social Networking Safety tips for Bebo, Facebook, MySpace and YouTube: http://buk.cc/cNwSP9 Recommended privacy settings for young teens -- and their parents http://thenetwork.typepad.com/ architectureofideas/2010/02/fromprivate-to-public-building-a-teenagerscapacity-to-network-pt-1.html

Cross-Generational Dialogue on the Ethics of Digital Life http://bit.ly/9TZXRX Social Safety http://www.socialsafety.org/ Tips from Microsoft on how to manage your online reputation http://www.microsoft.com/protect/ parents/cyberethics/reputation.aspx Facebook Safety Resources for Parents, Teachers & Teens http://www.debaird.net/ blendededunet/2010/04/facebooksecurity-and-safety-resources-forparents-teachers-teens.html Tips for Using Facebook with Youth http://www.debaird.net/ blendededunet/2009/09/tips-forparents-teachers-using-facebook-withstudents.html Facebook for Parents http://facebookforparents.org/ Kids In Mind http://www.kids-in-mind.com/ Site for detailed and complete information about movie content.

YouTube Parent Resources http://support.google.com/youtube/ bin/answer.py? hl=en&answer=126289

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How to Talk To a Teen About the Internet Adapted from: www.cyberangels.org

Internet

First and foremost, be sure in your resolve to listen to your teen, not judge. Make sure you, as the parent, are ready to hear ALL that your teen may tell you.

Communicate openly with him/her.

Start with conversations, not interrogations. It is vital to open the doors of communication with your teen, so that they may come to you without fear. Offer your support in a non-judgmental way with questions such as, "You seem bothered by something, is there anything I can do to help?" Offer to listen, "Would you like to talk about something?" This way, you open that doorway for them without sounding as if you are accusing, which will only serve to close the door.

Be patient, it might take once, twice or thrice! Your teen may not respond right away. It may take some time and coaxing to get him/her to open up and discuss their situation or feelings with you. Be patient and keep trying, letting him/ her know that you care. Remember, just as this isn't easy for you, it isn't easy for them either.

Validate and accept what your teen says. It is essential that you take your teen seriously. No matter what they may say. Their concerns and fears, whether warranted or not to you, are very real to them. Saying, "Well that's just silly, why are making such a big deal out of this?" will cause your teen to turn away. Acknowledge their feelings with something like, "I

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can understand how you would feel that way." Take a moment and step out of your parental shoes and step into his/hers. How would you like someone to respond to you?

Realize that you do not have total control and power over your teenager: As they say, where there is a will there is a way. If your response to your child's concern is to eliminate, to take away, to deny you may inadvertently cause your teen to rush full speed ahead into a potentially dangerous situation. However, even without ironclad control, you have something more powerful. You have influence.

Through communicating and empowering your teen, you can help him/her to make the right decision. The key here is, you allowed them to make the decision, and you didn't make it for them.

Set limits and boundaries together.

Pulling the plug on your computer may not be the best solution. It's a short-term solution, with limited long-term benefits. Sit down together and come up with acceptable terms of usage. Make sure that both you and your teen understand and agree to the rules.

Understand a new generation. Yes, times have changed and will continue to do so. Our best defense is education and understanding. Step back for a moment and try to appreciate the challenges our teenagers face in today's society. Each generation has had its troubles. But let's face it, today's youth are stuck in the middle of a confusing, overwhelming, conflicting, fast-paced and downright frightening world. The digital age in all its glory has opened a Pandora's Box for today's youth.

Parent’s play a vital role in giving teenagers the tools they need to be safe, to be smart, and to be healthy.

• Put the computer in a common room not in the child’s bedroom.

• Learn about the technology. Ask your child to be your guide.

• Talk with children/teens about what they may and may not do on line.

• Set limits. Decide if, how often and for how long your child can use the technology devices.

• Learn what your child uses the computer or other technology for.

• Teach children/teens that not everything seen on the Internet is either true or valuable.

• Get to know your child’s online friends as you would their offline friends.

• Be open with children; encourage them to come to you if they encounter a problem.

• Learn about blocking, filtering and monitoring.

Realize these things cannot protect children/teens from all dangers in cyberspace.

• Use time controls, blocking, filtering and or monitoring software.

• Be sensitive to your child’s concerns about privacy, but also realize it is a parents responsibility to protect their child.

What Are Signs That Your Child Might Be At Risk On-line?

Your child spends large amounts of time on-line, especially at night.

Most children that fall victim to computer-sex offenders spend large amounts of time on-line, particularly in chat rooms. They may go on-line after dinner and on the weekends.

They may be latchkey kids whose parents have told them to stay at home after school. They go on-line to chat with friends, make new friends, pass time, and sometimes look for

INTERNET USERS: • 1.97 billion – Internet users worldwide (June 2010).

• 14 percent – Increase in internet users since the previous year.

WEBSITES: • 255 million – The number of websites as of December 2010.

• 21.4 million – Added websites in 2010.

EMAIL: • 294 billion – Average number of email messages per day.

• 1.88 billion – The number of email users worldwide.

• 480 million – New email users since the year before.

• 2.9 billion – The number of email accounts worldwide.

sexually explicit information. While much of the knowledge and experience gained may be valuable, parents should consider monitoring the amount of time spent on-line.

Children on-line are at the greatest risk during the evening hours. While offenders are on-line around the clock, most work during the day and spend their evenings online trying to locate and lure children or seeking pornography.

You find pornography on your child's computer.

Pornography is often used in the sexual victimization of children. Sex offenders often supply their potential victims with pornography as a means of opening sexual discussions and for seduction. Child pornography may be used to show the child victim that sex between children and adults is "normal." Parents should be conscious of the fact that a child may hide the pornographic files on diskettes from them. This may be especially true if the computer is used by other family members.

Your child receives phone calls from men you don't know or is making calls, sometimes long distance, to numbers you don't recognize.

While talking to a child victim online is a thrill for a computer-sex offender, it can be very cumbersome.

Most want to talk to the children on the telephone. They often engage in "phone sex" with the children and often seek to set up an actual meeting for real sex.

While a child may be hesitant to give out his/her home phone number, the computer-sex offenders will give out theirs. With Caller ID, they can readily find out the child's phone number. Some computer-sex offenders have even obtained tollfree 800 numbers, so that their

potential victims can call them without their parents finding out. Others will tell the child to call collect. Both of these methods result in the computersex offender being able to find out the child's phone number.

Your child receives mail, gifts, or packages from someone you don't know.

As part of the seduction process, it is common for offenders to send letters, photographs, and all manner of gifts to their potential victims.

Computer-sex offenders have even sent plane tickets in order for the child to travel across the country to meet them.

Your child turns the computer monitor off or quickly changes the screen on the monitor when you come into the room.

A child looking at pornographic images or having sexually explicit conversations does not want you to see it on the screen.

Your child becomes withdrawn from the family.

Computer-sex offenders will work very hard at driving a wedge between a child and their family or at exploiting their relationship. They will accentuate any minor problems at home that the child might have.

Children may also become withdrawn after sexual victimization.

Your child is using an on-line account belonging to someone else.

Even if you don't subscribe to an on-line service or Internet service, your child may meet an offender while on-line at a friend's house or the library. Most computers come preloaded with on-line and/or Internet software. Computer-sex offenders will sometimes provide potential victims with a computer account for communications with them.

Source: www.fbi.gov

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BLOG SAFETY the blog site makes him or her feel uncomfortable.

Does your child have a blog?

Use the blogging rule of thumb!

Never post anything in a blog that you would not want to share with everyone you know.

Do you ever wonder what

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your children think about?

Perhaps you should read their Web

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logs or “blogs.”

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Blogs are a type of online journal that children use to share their thoughts and feelings; they may be

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in written or video format. Posting blogs allows children to develop both their technical and creative skills. It also lets them connect to other users with similar interests and

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Establish guidelines with your child before allowing him or her to blog, such as reviewing your child’s blogs before posting.

Ensure that your child is using privacy settings.

Have your child remove any identifying information from all postings—full names, ages, locations, phone numbers, and school names.

Caution your child about the dangers of posting inappropriate or provocative information or images. Once something is posted online, it cannot be taken back.

Encourage your child to come to you if anything on

Start a discussion with your child Use these discussion starters to get an Internet safety conversation going with your children. The more often you talk to them about online safety, the easier it will get, so don’t get discouraged if they don’t respond immediately!

• • •

• • •

Do you keep a blog? Could I read it?

Who do you think is reading your blog?

Would you feel comfortable letting anyone read your blog?

Is your blog set to private?

Why or why not?

What do you think your blog says about you?

Can you show me some of your favorite blogs?

(Source: www.netsmartz.org)

write about their experiences, their personal lives, popular culture, and any other topic that crosses their minds.

If done safely, blogging can be a good exercise that encourages critical thinking and creative writing.

Unfortunately, children sometimes forget their blogs are not private and share information not intended for outsiders. Then, there are those children who simply do not care if their information is public; the more eyes they attract, the better.

10

Risky Behavior

and cyberbullies. For example, a

Some blogs track the number of

child’s peers may take information

visitors and have places for their

shared in a blog and use it to

audiences to comment or rate them.

humiliate him at school. Likewise, a

As a result, children may engage in

child sharing inappropriate content in

risky behavior—such as posting

a blog may find herself suspended

intimate details—in order to gain

from school or losing out on future

popularity on the Internet. Other risky

educational opportunities. They might

behavior includes not using privacy

also find themselves approached by

settings, or posting inappropriate or

someone who intends them harm.

illegal content.

These risky behaviors leave children open to being targeted by predators

Source: www.netsmartz.org

resources

Parent Education Links

Read family-friendly reviews of media and entertainment.

Products that offers Parental Controls

Fellowship of religious Jews, working to deal with

www.commonsensemedia.org

for Computers and Smart Phones and iPod Touch - Monitor your kid's IM,

internet addiction. ‘Tools’ tab offers excellent

Be just "one click away" from the

text, email and calls and be alerted

resources on technological

resources they need to make informed decisions about their and

by email about any unauthorized contact with your child. Check with

solutions and guidelines for successful

their family's use of the Internetincluding “How to” videos.

cell phone companies to see what they offer.

implementation. www.guardyoureyes.org

www.getnetwise.org

www.internetsafety.com www.mymobilewatchdog.com

Initiative guided by the U.S.

Online resource for answering questions about

Department of Justice, Project Safe Childhood.

Limited version of free accountability software.

Internet safety, computers, and the Web.

www.projectsafechildhood.gov

x3watch.com

www.netsmartz411.org

McGruff the Crime Dog's Child

SpectorPro and eBlaster excellent

Safety Center. www.mcgruff.org

accountability software with reliable 24/7 support.

Microsoft's campaign to provide parents with tools and resources to manage their children's gaming and entertainment experiences. www.GetGameSmart.com CyberAngels is one of the first online safety education programs online. www.cyberangels.org CyberTip hotline & official site for current information on Missing and Exploited Children, search for missing children, submit child "sightings". www.missingkids.com www.ncmec.org www.cybertipline.com

www.spectorsoft.com

Product Links 2011 Internet filter and monitor & parental control software reviews and product comparisons. www.internet-filterreview.toptenreviews.com

Free network/router/or computer based Internet navigation and security solution. www.opendns.com

Other Links Access a complete online dictionary

Excellent accountability and resource information.

of hundreds of regularly used email chat acronyms.

www.webchaver.com

www.netlingo.com

Free Internet filtering and control

See if there are sexual offenders

solution for the home. www.k9webprotection.com

living in your neighborhood. www.familywatchdog.us 11

LOL:-)

Texting Replacing Talking The study also confirmed that texting is replacing talking among teens.

Teens admitted spending nearly an equal amount of time talking as they do texting each month. The feature is so important to them that if texting were no longer an option 47% of teens say their social life would end or be worsened - that’s especially so among females (54% vs. 40%).

popularity, outranking jewelry,

their social life would end or be

watches and shoes.

Teens say texting has advantages

worsened without their cell phone,

Providing Entertainment and Security

over talking because it offers more

and nearly six in 10 (57%) credit

More than half of the respondents

options, including multitasking,

their mobile device with improving

(52%) agree that the cell phone has

speed, the option to avoid verbal

their life, according to a national

become a new form of entertainment.

communication, and because it is fun

survey from CTIA and Harris

One-third of teens play games on

- in that order, according to the study.

Interactive.

their phone.

With more than 1 billion text

Four out of five teens (17

80% say their cell phone provides a

messages sent each day, it is no

million) carry a wireless

sense of security while on the go,

surprise that 42% of teens say they

device, finds the study

confirming that the cell phone has

can text blindfolded, the study found.

titled “Teenagers: A

become their mobile safety net when

“Teens have created a new form of

Generation

needing a ride (79%), getting

communication. We call it texting, but

Unplugged,” which

important information (51%), or just

in essence it is a reflection of how

probes how the growing

helping out someone in trouble

teens want to communicate to match

teen wireless segment is

(35%).

their lifestyles.

Teens carry cell phones to have

It is all about multitasking, speed,

access to friends, family and current

privacy and control,” said Joseph

events. Though only one in five

Porus, VP & chief architect,

(18%) teens care to pinpoint the

Technology Group, Harris

A majority (57%) of teens view their

location of their family and friends

Interactive. “Teens in this study are

cell phone as the key to their social

via their cell phone, 36% hate the

crying for personalization and

life. Second only to clothing, teens

idea of a cell phone feature that

control of exactly what a wireless

say, a person’s cell phone tells the

allows others to know their exact

device or plan can do for them.”

most about their social status or

location.

Cell Phones

Nearly half (47%) of US teens say

using wireless products and how they want to use them in the future.

Impact on Teen Life

12

Source: www.harrisinteractive.com

200,000 auto accidents in the U.S. every year are attributed to texting while driving.

34% of teens 14-17 admit to texting while driving. 47% of adults 18+ do as well.

14-17 year olds were asked by State Farm Insurance whether they thought they would die one day if they regularly text and drive. Only 35% of those asked strongly agreed with that statement.

HELPFUL TIP: For about $40, parents can download a system called Textecution, which disables a phone’s texting and internet functions when the phone’s owner is traveling at 10 MPH or faster.

Teens who have multi-purpose phones are avid users of those extra features.

83% use their phones to take

31% exchange instant messages

pictures.

on their phones.

64% share pictures with others.

27% go online for general

60% play music on their phones.

purposes on their phones.

46% play games on their

23% access social network sites

phones.

on their phones.

32% exchange videos on their

21% use email on their phones.

phones.

11% purchase things via their

15% of teens have received a sexually suggestive nude or nearly nude multimedia text from someone they know.

20% of teens send sexually suggestive pictures via text and 39% of teens send sexually suggestive texts. (kidshealth.org)

Unless otherwise stated the information on this page from the Pew Research Center (http://pewresearch.org) 13

Here are some basic ideas for keeping mobile phone use safe and constructive to discuss with your children.

Smart socializing. Use the same good sense about what you post from your phone as from a computer. Once they’re posted, text, photos, and video are tough to take back, can be copied and pasted elsewhere, and are up there pretty much forever. Think about the people in them (including you!).

Reputations are at stake – even more so if nudity or sex is involved.

Phones are personal. Letting other people use your phone when you’re not around is like letting them have the password to your social network profile. They can impersonate you.

Which means they can play tricks on you that could really become a problem. It’s a good idea to lock your phone when you’re not using it.

It’s not a good idea to let friends

text for you while you’re driving.

Don’t text while driving; just be safe and turn the phone off!

Bullying by phone. Because people socialize on cellphones as much as online, cyberbullying can be mobile too. Treat people on phones and the Web the way you would in person, and the risk of being bullied goes down. Be aware, too, of people randomly taking pictures at parties – you may not want to be tagged in their social-network photo albums.

Sexting: It’s the same on phones as on the Web – do not take, send, post or even store on your phone nude photos of anyone under 18.

You could be charged with production, distribution, or possession of child pornography, a serious crime. You could also be subjected to jokes, bullying, blackmail, expulsion from school, loss of a job, etc. and the images can circulate forever.

The value of “presence.” If you do a lot of texting, consider the impact that being “elsewhere” might be having on the people around you.

Your presence during meals, at parties, in the car, etc. is not only polite, it’s a sign of respect and appreciated.

Down time is good. Constant texting and talking can affect sleep, concentration, school, and other things that deserve your thought and focus. You need your sleep and real friends understand there are times you just need to turn off the phone – harassment can happen between midnight and morning too.

Social mapping. Most cellphones now have GPS technology and there are a growing number of services that allow friends to pinpoint each other’s physical location. If you use such a service, do so only with friends you know in person, and get to know the service’s privacy features! (www.connectsafely.org)

Top 40 Text Message Shorthand Parents Need to Know • 143 - I love you

• LMIRL - Let's Meet In Real Life

• P911 - Parent Alert

• 182 - I hate you

• MOOS - Member Of The Opposite Sex

• PAL - Parents Are Listening

• 1174 - Nude club

• PAW - Parents Are Watching

• 420 - Marijuana

• PIR - Parent In Room

• 459 - I love you

• POS - Parent Over Shoulder

• ADR - Address

• pron - porn

• AEAP - As Early As Possible

• RU/18 - Are You Over 18?

• ALAP - As Late As Possible

• RUMORF - Are You Male OR Female?

• ASL - Age/Sex/Location • CD9 - Code 9 - it means parents are around

• S2R - Send To Receive

• C-P - Sleepy

• TDTM - Talk Dirty To Me

• F2F - Face-to-Face

• SorG - Straight or Gay • WUF - Where You From

• HAK - Hugs And Kisses

• MOSS - Member(s) Of The Same Sex

• ILU - I Love You

• MorF - Male or Female

• WYRN - What's Your Real Name?

• IWSN - I Want Sex Now

• MOS - Mom Over Shoulder

• zerg - To gang up on someone

• KOTL - Kiss On The Lips • KFY -or- K4Y - Kiss For You

• NALOPKT - Not A Lot Of People Know That

• KPC - Keeping Parents Clueless

• NMU - Not Much, You?

14

• WYCM - Will You Call Me?

Source: From Top 50 Acronyms Parents need to know at Netlingo.com

has been shown to be an infringement on the general public’s privacy, the use of geotagging can be quite useful. If a GPS enabled smartphone user Googles an Italian restaurant while out of town, the nearest Italian restaurant (with geotagging metadata) to their actual location will be the first thing

DANGERS OF GEOTAGGING

to pop up on their phone’s browser.

This can be amazingly helpful. GPS indicators also can help law

So you take pictures with your

sounds complicated, it really isn’t. It

smartphone and post them online.

simply means the marking of a video,

What’s the worst thing that could

photo or other media with an

happen? What personal information

embedded location of where it was

could possibly be exposed? Where’s

taken. Smart phones and digital

the threat?

cameras featuring GPS have made

Unfortunately, even as careful as some people may be about sharing

this “tagging” possible.

Why should you care about this

enforcement find you should you need them.

The problem with geotagging arises when that information is given out unknowingly and /or pulled by the wrong people as explained above.

Source: www.privatewifi.com

personal information online, they may technology? Well, that snapshot of be unwittingly exposing information

you in your living room might be all it

WEB LINK

through a process called

takes for someone that you don’t want

“geotagging.” So how does this data

to know where you live to find your

end up on a public forum like the

home. A picture of you standing in

Internet?

front of your priceless oil painting or

Step-byStep instructions for disabling the photo geotagging function on iPhone, BlackBerry, Android and Palm devices.

According to our friends at Wikipedia, Geotagging is the process of adding geographical identification “metadata” to various media such as photographs, video, websites, SMS messages, or RSS feeds and is a form

collection of valuable knickknacks lets potential thieves know you have things worth stealing. A criminal only has to check for the Geo Tag and now he

http://icanstalku.com/ how.php

has you and your property in his sight. They can then watch your postings and activities to find out

FYI: If your child uses features such

when you aren’t home and break in.

as Facebook's Check-in, Foursquare,

latitude and longitude coordinates

So, why does geotagging exist if it

Gowalla and Loopt, they all allow

which are derived from a global

seems to be only useful to people

individuals with a smartphone to

positioning system (GPS). While that

whom do harm? While geotagging

broadcast their location.

of geospatial metadata. This information most often includes

15

violence as a way to handle problems. Studies have also shown that the more realistic and repeated the exposure to violence, the greater the impact on children. In addition, children with emotional, behavioral and learning problems may be more influenced by violent images.

Children and adolescents can become overly involved and even obsessed with videogames. Spending large amounts of time playing these games can create problems and lead to: Video gaming (playing video games) has become a popular activity for

• criminal behavior, disrespect for authority and the law

people of all ages. Many children and • sexual exploitation and violence adolescents spend large

Video Games

amounts of time playing them. Video gaming is a

toward women • racial, sexual, and gender stereotypes

• poor social skills • time away from family time, schoolwork, and other hobbies • lower grades and reading less • exercising less, and becoming overweight

multibillion-dollar industry – • foul language, obscenities, and

• aggressive thoughts and behaviors

bringing in more money

If parents are concerned that their

obscene gestures

than movies and DVDs.

There is growing research on the

child is spending too much time

Video games have become

effects of videogames on children.

playing video games or appears

very sophisticated and

Some video games may promote

preoccupied or obsessed with

realistic. Some games

learning, problem solving and help

aggressive or violent video games,

connect to the Internet,

with the development of fine motor

they should first set some limits (for

which can allow children

skills and coordination. However,

example – playing the games for one

and adolescents to play

there are concerns about the effect of

hour after all homework is done) and

online with unknown adults

violent video games on young people

try to encourage the child to

and peers.

who play video games excessively.

participate in other activities. If there

While some games have

Studies of children exposed to

is continued concern about their

violence have shown that they can

child’s behavior or the effects of video

the most popular games emphasize

become: “immune” or numb to the

games, a consultation with a qualified

negative themes and promote:

horror of violence, imitate the violence mental health professional may be

• the killing of people or animals

they see, and show more aggressive

• the use and abuse of drugs and

behavior with greater exposure to

educational content, many of

alcohol 16

violence. Some children accept

helpful.

Source: www.aacap.org

of "first-person shooter" games, where the player takes on the identity of a violent character.

7 Ways to Make the Most of Digital Games 1. Get to know the games your teen plays.

Games attract players for many reasons. You won't know what draws your teen in unless you ask.

Is it the chance to beat others? The mystique of getting lost in a fantasy world? The chance to solve problems? Or might it be gaining superpowers, connecting with others, or simply playing a game that's popular with friends? Check out Common Sense Media for parent reviews and the Entertainment Software Rating Board, which rates all computer and video computer games, and offers rating summaries.

2. Beware of games with stereotypes and negative images of women.

Many games direct violence at female characters or lack racial diversity. They may portray whites as heroes and African-Americans or Latinos as athletes or victims of violence. Talk about the messages these games send, and discourage your teen from playing them. It's good for your teen to hear you speak out against images and ideas you find objectionable.

3. Be vigilant for violence.

Avoid games that portray killing as justified or free of penalties.

Encourage your teen to steer clear

4. Teach your teen to spot product placement.

Marketers use video games to build brand exposure and to link their products with what is cool.

Talk to your teen about why video characters would use or wear name-brand merchandise.

Are there financial reasons why a product would appear in action and sports games?

5. Emphasize the social aspects of game play.

Encourage your teen to swap game-playing hints with other players online or with friends.

This can help prevent digital games from becoming a solo retreat.

6. Talk to your teen about players s/he may meet online.

If your teen competes with peers online or via mobile networks — or chats with them on screen during gameplay — discuss the importance of privacy. Remind him/her not to reveal any personal information, especially to people s/he has never met.

Encourage your teen to question what others say online.

7. Encourage your teen to explore the creative process that produces video games.

Games are not divorced from your teenager's influence. They are creative works upon which your teen can improve. The GameCareer Guide, for example, offers information for students and educators in the game industry.

AVOID ISSUES BY: • checking the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) ratings to learn about the game’s content.

• selecting appropriate games— both in content and level of development.

• playing video games with their children to experience the game’s content.

• setting clear rules about game content and playing time, both in and outside of your home.

• strongly warning children about potential serious dangers of Internet contacts and relationships while playing games online.

• talking with other parents about your family’s video game rules.

• remembering that you are a role model for your children – including video games you play as an adult.

In addition to doing the above, parents can activate parental controls to make sure that their children are only playing games they deem appropriate.

Tip: Parents should be around when the console is first set up so that their children don’t activate parental control settings of their own choosing and secure them with a password or PIN that only they know.

Source: www.pbs.org/parents/ 17

On the front of each game package are rating symbols that provide guidance on age-appropriateness.

3

+

6

+

10 13 +

+

17 18 +

+

On the back, next to the rating symbol, are content descriptors that warn about violence, sexual or suggestive material, strong language, use or depiction of drugs, alcohol and tobacco, as well as gambling in the game. Parents should use both parts of the rating system to make sure they are choosing games for their families that they deem appropriate.

Parent Tips for Playing Video Games Online

Monitor. Certain online services provide parents with the

Because playing games online can sometimes expose

option to log into the child’s account and view a list of

players to inappropriate content, behavior and

players their children have interacted with during an

language, there are several precautions you can take to

online session, which can be helpful in determining whom

help make sure your child’s experience is one in which

they can and cannot play with.

you are comfortable. Parents should seek out games and online services that offer the ability to:

Speak Up. In addition to blocking a player who behaves in an inappropriate manner, you can also notify a game’s

Block. You can block out strangers and restrict the people

publisher or online service about the offender. Check the

your children can play with online to only a select group

online service’s or game publisher’s Terms of Service for

of approved friends, kind of like a gamer buddy list.

instructions on how to file a complaint about another

Mute. The “mute” feature allows you to disable the ability

player, and be sure to include as much information as

to chat with other players during a game, whether it’s

possible about the player in question.

Source: esrb.org

typewritten text or voice chat over a headset.

• 67% of US households play video games

• 40% of gamers are female

• 25% of gamers are 18 and under.

• The Playstation 2 is the best selling console ever with 138 million units sold

• 13 hours is the average time spent PER WEEK by gamers playing video games

• The top selling video game is Wii Sports

Sources: esrb.org, gamespot.com, onlineeducation.net 18

Game Review

resources

Sites for Parents

Parental Control Links Microsoft XBox Family Settings http://www.xbox.com/en-US/Live/

What They Play: The family guide to video

Family

games www.whattheyplay.com

Nintendo Wii Parental Controls

Gaming with Children www. gamingwithchildren.com Read family-friendly reviews of media and entertainment. www. commonsensemedia.org

Family Friendly Video Game Reviews www.familyfriendlyvideogames.com Parents’ Choice: Children’s Media and Toy Reviews www.parents-choice.org/ award.cfm? thePage=videogame&p_code=p_vg a Edutaining Kids www.edutainingkids.com/ videogames.html

http://www.nintendo.com/ consumer/systems/wii/en_na/ settingsParentalControls.jsp Sony PlayStation Knowledge Center for Parents http://us.playstation.com/support/ parents/index.htm Microsoft Windows Family Settings (For windows 7. You can search for other windows systems at site) http://windows.microsoft.com/enus/windows7/products/features/ parental-controls Mac OSX Parental Controls http://www.apple.com/macosx/ security/ Nintendo DSi & DSi XL Parental Controls http://www.nintendo.com/ consumer/systems/dsi/en_na/ settingsParentalControls.jsp

Gamer Sites G4 Game Reviews & News www.g4tv.com Game Revolution: Game Cheats & Reviews www.GameRevolution.com GameSpot: Video Game Reviews & News www.GameSpot.com Game Spy: Video Game Reviews & News www.GameSpy.com Games Radar: Game Cheats & Reviews www.GamesRadar.com IGN: Game Reviews & News www.IGN.com Game Trailers: Upcoming game trailers www.GameTrailers.com

Other Links Game Career Guide www.gamecareerguide.com

19

Cyberbullying

Technology allows the user to bully anonymously or from an unknown location, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

No place, not even a bedroom, provides sanctuary from the intrusion of a threatening text message or an abusive e-mail.

The Benefits of Technology

over the phone and by text message;

This information may make the

with the use of digital cameras and

Internet, or mobile phones, or email

camera phones to intrude on the

accounts all seem rather dangerous -

privacy of individuals; with so-called

but technology is morally neutral and

'happy slapping' attacks - the filming

can be a channel for comfort as well

and sharing of physical attacks on

as threats. The cell phone that carries

individuals by groups; the posting of

a threatening text message may also

offensive websites; the impersonating

carry information and advice to an

of individuals through hijacking email

anxious parent or a worried child.

accounts; abusive and threatening

Whilst technology can be used to

behavior in chat rooms, on discussion

bully, the Internet also can be a

boards and through instant

sanctuary for the victims of bullying

messaging. We have also seen

by masking their "differences" and

reports of school reunion sites being

allowing them to be part of

used to slander ex-pupils and

communities beyond their local one.

teachers alike. A Scottish secondary school had to take its chat room

The Problems

offline due to aggressive bullying

The digital age has seen the

activity (Edinburgh Evening News

development of new ways in which to

29.3.06). Recently a phenomenon

bully, slander and abuse. We are

called "bluejacking" (the sending of

now faced with bullying by email,

anonymous text messages over short

Cyber-bullying leaves no physical scars so it is, perhaps, less evident to a parent or teacher, but it is highly intrusive and the hurt it causes can be very severe.

Young people are particularly adept at adapting to new technology, an area that can often seem a closed world to adults. For example, the numerous acronyms used by young people in chat rooms and in text messages (POS Parents Over Shoulder, TUL Tell You Later) make it difficult for adults to recognize potential threats.

distances using "Bluetooth" wireless technology) has been reported. All these examples of cyber-bullying may be taking advantage of cutting edge technology, but the motives of those who are doing this and the excuses they make for their behavior are ageold.

Information on this page from the Anti-Bullying Network, Great Britain 20

• Keep and save any bullying emails, text messages or images.

• Don't give out your personal details online - if you're in a chatroom,

• If you can, make a note of the time

watch what you say about where

and date bullying messages or

you live, the school you go to, your

images were sent, and note any

email address etc. All these things

details about the sender.

can help someone who wants to harm you build up a picture about

• Why not log into a chatroom with a

you.

different user ID or nickname? That way the bully won't know who you

A Code of Conduct Here are some points that could be included in the code of conduct that you discuss and agree with young people. Use these points to help you start the discussion, but aim to end up with a small number (up to five or so) of short statements that are suitable for the age of the users.

email, text or online, do talk to someone you trust.

emails or images to anyone. You

phone number and only give it out

could be breaking the law just by

to close friends.

forwarding them. If they are about you, keep them as evidence. If they

• Contact the service provider (mobile phone company, your internet

are about someone else, delete them and don't reply to the sender.

provider) to tell them about the bullying. They may be able to track the bully down.

• Don't ever give out passwords to your mobile or email account.

• Remember that sending abusive or

block instant messages from certain

threatening messages is against the

people or use mail filters to block

law.

emails from specific email addresses.

• Never send any bullying or threatening messages. Anything you write and send could be read by an adult.

• Don't reply to bullying or threatening text messages or emails-

to the police - for example threats of

FACT SHEET For an additional fact sheet on cyberbullying:

this could make matters worse. It also lets the bullying people know

• Serious bullying should be reported

a physical or sexual nature.

are. You could change your mobile

• Use blocking software - you can

• If you feel you are being bullied by

• Don't forward abusive texts or

that they have found a 'live' phone number or email address. They may

http://www.cyberbullying.us/ Cyberbullying_Identification_P revention_Response_Fact_She et.pdf

get bored quite quickly if you ignore them.

Information on this page from the Anti-Bullying Network, Great Britain 21

How Are Teens Cyberbullied?

Being a victim of cyberbullying can be a common and painful experience. Some youth who cyberbully

Many youth experience a variety of emotions when they are cyberbullied.

Youth who are cyberbullied report feeling angry, hurt, embarrassed, or scared. These emotions can cause victims to react in ways such as

• Pretend they are other people online to trick others

• Seeking revenge on the bully

• Spread lies and rumors about victims

• Cyberbullying back

• Avoiding friends and activities

• Trick people into revealing personal information • Send or forward mean text messages

• Don’t think it’s a big deal

• Think everybody cyberbullies • Think they won’t get caught

How Do Victims React?

Contrary to what cyberbullies may believe, cyberbullying is a big deal, and can cause a variety of reactions in teens. Some teens have reacted in positive ways to try to prevent cyberbullying by • Blocking communication with the cyberbully • Deleting messages without reading them • Talking to a friend about the bullying • Reporting the problem to an Internet service provider or website moderator

• Speaking with other students, as well as teachers and school administrators, to develop rules against cyberbullying • Raising awareness of the cyberbullying problem in your community by holding an assembly and creating fliers to give to younger kids or parents

Don’t forget that even though you can’t see a cyberbully or the bully’s victim, cyberbullying causes real problems. If you wouldn’t say it in person, don’t say it online. Delete cyberbullying. Don’t write it. Don’t forward it.

When teens were asked why they think others cyberbully, 81 percent said that cyberbullies think it’s funny. Other teens believe that youth who cyberbully

• Are encouraged by friends

You can also help prevent cyberbullying by

• Sharing NCPC’s anticyberbullying message with friends

• Post pictures of victims without their consent

• Don’t think about the consequences

• Report cyberbullying to a trusted adult

Some teens feel threatened because they may not know who is cyberbullying them. Although cyberbullies may think they are anonymous, they can be found. If you are cyberbullied or harassed and need help, save all communication with the cyberbully and talk to a parent, teacher, law enforcement officer, or other adult you trust.

How Can I Prevent Cyberbullying?

Teens have figured out ways to prevent cyberbullying. Follow in the footsteps of other quick-thinking teens and • Refuse to pass along cyberbullying messages • Tell friends to stop cyberbullying • Block communication with cyberbullies

What Else Can I Do To Stay Cyber-safe?

Remember that the Internet is accessed by millions of people all over the world, not just your friends and family. While many Internet users are friendly, some may want to hurt you. Below are some ways to stay cyber-safe: • Never post or share your personal information online (this includes your full name, address, telephone number, school name, parents’ names, credit card number, or Social Security number) or your friends’ personal information.

• Never share your Internet passwords with anyone, except your parents.

• Never meet anyone face-to-face whom you only know online.

• Talk to your parents about what you do online.

From National Crime Prevention Council - http://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullying 22

resources

Chat Danger http:// www.chatdanger.com A website all about the potential dangers of interactive online services like chat, instant messaging, email and mobiles.

Stop Text Bully http:// www.stoptextbully.com Resources on this website include a Top 10 Tips poster for young people and a school resource pack 'Putting U in the Picture'.

Childnet International http://www.childnet-int.org Plenty of advice and teachers' resources. Look for the 'Prank or Pain' link through their 'Know it All' project link.

Internet Watch Foundation http://www.iwf.org.uk/ Support website with information on filtering, protection, and an area to report illegal content.

Kidsmart http://www.kidsmart.org.uk/ Part of the Childnet stable of websites, dealing with Internet safety programs for schools, young people and parents.

Cyberbully http://cyberbully.org Contains links to useful online documents such as a guide to cyberbullying and an educator's guide.

"Staying Safe in a Wired World: a parent's guide to Internet safety" by Rob Nickel. A recently published book about most of the technologies used on the Internet and instructions on how to keep children safe while in cyberspace. Available from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/StayingSafe-Wired-World-Nickel/dp/ 0978008200/ref=sr_1_1? ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=130693946 9&sr=8-1 Yahoo's Parents' Guide to Safer Surfing. http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/ parents_guide/

www.stopbullyingnow.com has information about what you can do to stop bullying.

Stop Cyberbullying Before It Starts (PDF) provides useful information for parents. http://www.ncpc.org/ resources/files/pdf/bullying/ cyberbullying.pdf Cyberbullying.us provides cyberbullying research, stories, cases, downloads, fact sheets, tips and strategies, news headlines, a blog, and a number of other helpful resources on their comprehensive public service website. www.stopcyberbullying.org has a fun quiz to rate your online behavior, information about why some people cyberbully, and how to stop yourself from cyberbullying. www.wiredsafety.com provides information about what to do if you are cyberbullied.

www.ncpc.org provides information about stopping cyberbullying before it starts.

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To learn more about how your school can benefit from partnering with us, call 212-960-5260, email schoolpartnership@yu.edu or visit our website at www.YUSchoolPartnership.org

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