July/August 2010 Solution

The Solution News Since 1991

July/August 2010

Recovery

Happy, Joyous and Always Free!!

Growth

Renewal

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The Solution News Contents Page 4 - Dave’s Page:

Page 24 - Our Readers Write

Page 5 - Slogans For Recovery

Page 25 - Bill Wilson: Lord’s Prayer

Page 6 - Building Recovery Lifestyle

Page 26 - Interactive Lord’s Prayer

Page 7 - Older Adult Recovery

Page 27 - Interactive Lord’s Prayer

Page 8 - Hotlines and Helplines

Page 28 - “Just Love Her’ Review

Page 9 - Watershed Page

Page 30 - For Your Inspiration

Page 10 & 11 - Events

Page 31 - Caffeine Addicts Quiz

Page 12 - Rebecca B.: A Declaration

Page 32 - Worst Opening Lines

Page 14 - The Wit of P.J. O’Rourke

Page 33 - Trina Hayes on Relationships

Page 15 - The Wisdom of Marianne Williamson

Page 34 - Chef Lester

Page 16 - AA Policy Changes

Page 36 - AAADD

Page 18 - The Prayers of the Steps Page 23 - James Lehman’s Legacy

Page 37 - Survive the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s?

Page 38 - Parting Shots

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Dave’s Page

I was out to dinner the other night with a friend I have sponsored for many years and he said, “Why don’t you write an article about how the program has changed over the last twentyfive years?” I knew right away what he meant.

Recently I have heard many “oldtimers” complain about the “watering down” of our program by the combined influences of treatment centers, pop psychology and television gurus like Dr. Phil and Oprah.

People often complain about the use of our meeting rooms as “baby sitting services” for treatment centers and inexpensive group therapy for those who don’t understand what our meetings are about. While all of the above may be true to some degree or other I still firmly believe that the basic principles and practices of our program have not changed one bit.

I was told early in my sobriety to look for a way in to the program and not for a way out.

This meant that if my focus was on the negative aspects of people or the program I could find many reasons to find fault and to leave. By focusing on the positive, and overlooking the defects of others and perceived weaknesses of

Alive and Well At Seventy-Five the group and the program, I would find the true healing power of the program and become successful in learning how to stay sober one day at a time.

When I am looking for AA the way it was when I got sober in 1977 I find it in every single meeting I attend. It is in the hearts and minds and eyes of the people I see there.

The past several years I have become very interested in AA’s history. I have had the opportunity to study and attend seminars with Dick B., a great AA scholar. I have read with interest AA Comes of Age and Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers. I have had the opportunity to visit Bill Wilson’s birthplace in Vermont and read old AA documents and Bills writings in his library there. All of this has led me to the understanding that the meeting between Bill and Dr. Bob and their subsequent work with AA #3 contain all the principles and the foundation for the Big Book and the Steps. These principles are alive and well today at AA meetings around the world.

The basic principle that I see at every meeting is “one drunk helping another”. The key to Bill’s sobriety was a visit by a fellow drunk and drinking buddy named Ebby who was able to reach Bill with the spiritual solution because Ebby was a drunk like Bill. Bill would never have heard a word if the message was coming from someone who didn’t suffer from the disease of alcoholism. This was the key.

Dr. Bob was set on the course of recovery in the same way when Bill was able to relate to him as one alcoholic to another. As Dr Bob says of Bill, “(he) was a man ..who had been cured by the very means I had been trying to employ, that is to say, the spiritual approach. He gave me information about the subject of alcoholism which was undoubtedly helpful. Of far more

importance was the fact that he was the first living human with whom I had ever talked who knew what he was talking about in regard to alcoholism from actual experience. In other words, he talked my language. He knew all the answers and certainly not because he had picked them up in his reading.”

Throughout my own years of active alcoholism many people tried to help me. They approached me with spiritual, intellectual and psychological approaches. The wisdom fell on deaf ears. My friends and family all wished to see me stop drinking and offered to help but they “didn’t understand” and were unable to lead me to sobriety. It was only when I attended my first meeting and a complete stranger who was a fellow alcoholic offered me a welcoming hand that I was able to hear the solution. It was the first time another alcoholic had tried to help me. It was the beginning of a new way of life.

I see the welcoming hand of AA at every meeting. At some meetings there are so many acts of kindness that I begin to take them for granted.

In 1965 a huge throng of Alcoholics at the International Convention stood and recited these words: “I am responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA always to be there. And for that: I am responsible.”

Forty years later this personal responsibility is alive and well and the hand of AA is still there. It is the hand of kindness, a welcoming hand, extended from one fellow sufferer to another. In every meeting and at every gathering the healing spirit of our program is carried out just like is was with Bob and Bill. As hands are held at the Big Meeting at the International Convention in San Antonio know that AA is “Alive and Well At Seventy-Five”.

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Slogans and Self-Talk for Recovering People There are many things about my life that I didn't like.

I didn't like being a battered child.

I didn't like riding in the car as a child for days at a time in complete silence on family vacations because my parents were fighting.

I didn't like the two-quart green Rubbermaid pitcher of martinis in the refrigerator that seemed to be the rocket fuel for the family fights.

the past, it probably will not change. It won't change because the past will not change. In the summer of 2001, I wrote in this space, "Forgiveness is giving up hope for a better past." I need to accept that my past happened exactly the way it did.

Then I considered the opposite of being a result of the past, and decided to try being a cause of

I don't like the physical symptoms of being beaten that persist to this day.

I don't like the nightmares.

As long as I think of my life as being a result of

I had felt incapable of many things. I took Emergency Medical Technician training to get a sense of mastery over injuries. Shortly after qualifying, I got out of the ambulance at the scene of a major auto accident. Outside, I looked for an authority figure, and went up to a policeman. He said, "Don't look at me--we called YOU!" Not long after, a sense of confidence followed.

Now, I'm 60 years old. With the rest of my life, I'm going for impact…to cause positive change in the future, rather than simply heal from the past. To cause positive change, we have to have a purpose. I like the "primary purpose" statement from Narcotics Anonymous: "that no addict, anywhere, need die from the horrors of addiction," (Narcotics Anonymous, 5th ed., page xv).

I don't like the fact that I had a happy houseful this past Christmas with nine people-wife, daughters, sons-in-law, grandchildren--without an unkind word spoken, and with genuine love and affection. Why didn't I like it? Because the ghosts of Christmas past still are stronger in me than the realities of Christmas present. Everyone else had a fine time, and I looked as if I did, but the joy is still limited by the past.

This year, it's only Christmas that is still damaged by the past. That has hung on to this day. From being in my recovery program, and having a Higher Power, I am mostly out from under the tyranny of the past. This has, at times, required a determined and willful refusal to pay attention to my past, and required a stubborn focus on what I actually want for my present and my future.

instinct was to give a flimsy excuse and run away. I didn't give hugs. But I turned toward her and pantomimed a hug. She didn't notice that I was as rigid as I could be, and she went away happy. I thought, "Huh, I can do this."

the future rather than the result of the past. I started to behave in the opposite way to my former behavior, just to see what the results would be.

I had avoided touching people, because all touch had been bad. One day, in a hospital corridor, I saw a female friend. She said, "Oh, good. You're here. I need a hug." My first

Having found a path to sobriety and healing in fellowship with God and our recovering friends, we can be a cause of a future "happy destiny" (to quote AA) for the alcoholic and addict who still suffers today.

John A. MacDougall, DMin, is the director of Spiritual Guidance at Hazelden in Center City, Minn.

The Voice, Spring 2010

at hazelden.org

ADVANCED RECOVERY CENTER 1300 Park of Commerce, Delray Beach, FL 33435

Phone: 561-274-7417 Fax: 561-274-8715 TOLL FREE: 1-877-ARC-HOPE “Advanced extended care for the complicated and treatment-resistant addict.”

TO TAKE A VIRTUAL TOUR GO TO: www.arc-hope.net

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Build your lifestyle around your recovery, not your recovery around your lifestyle.....

For many alcoholics and addicts, our lifestyle blocks our recovery. It is easy to see the problem when we have a bad lifestyle: living with an abusive partner, hanging out with drug-dealing and drug-seeking friends, or going to bars with old friends just to prove that we can have a soft drink among all that alcohol. Counselors and sponsors tell us that we must leave behind all negative influences in order to make recovery our highest priority.

For me, recovery has to come in first place, ahead of wife, kids, job, and other relationships that I treasure. Part of this decision is practical. If I put recovery in second (or lower) place, I will eventually lose my recovery, as well as whatever it was I put in first place. Hazelden wouldn't allow me to work with patients if I relapsed. My wife isn't willing to stick with me through an alcoholic death spiral, the way she did with her first husband. My daughters wouldn't want a melancholy, drunk granddad for their children.

There is also another way that lifestyle can interfere with recovery. Our mistake is taking a good, attractive lifestyle and making it the center of our lives. We require our treatment and recovery goals to "fit into" our lifestyle, and not disrupt it. The more attractive our lifestyle, the more likely we are to compromise our recovery in search of a happy and comfortable way of life. If our lifestyle is comfortable, easy and well funded, we take that as a "given" fact of life and then try to accommodate our recovery without disrupting all that's pleasurable about life.

In treatment, this shows up as an unwillingness to spend more than 28 days working on our

recovery full time. Patients frequently tell me they'd love to have additional time here, but something about the home or workplace demands the highest priority instead. I've had many professionals, such as doctors and

without you, or would they adapt to your absence?" If we try to have "business as usual" as our lifestyle, recovery fades away because there isn't enough time in a day to do our usual lifestyle and add AA or NA to it.

My suggestion is to take a blank calendar week and write down what we need for recovery, and then open the rest of our time for other things. That way, when we reduce our schedules, all of our recovery activities are preserved.

I've made lifestyle changes to support recovery. I don't eat at restaurants that feel more like a bar with booths than a grill.

My two meetings a week are on my palm PDA every week forever, so I don't end up skipping meetings because of a schedule conflict. I pass up a lot of potential arguments because the disease thrives on chaos and conflict.

As much as I love many things in the "real world," I love the world of spirituality and sobriety more. AA's Big Book (p.84) says, "We have entered the world of the spirit."

It also says, "We have ceased fighting anything or anyone--even alcohol," and "love and tolerance of others is our code." In sobriety, I've developed a very fine lifestyle, but my recovery is non-negolawyers, tell me that they must return to their tiable, and everything else must give way. professional practice right away. Managers and directors swear that their companies could not John A. MacDougall, D.Min, is manager of live without them, and so the patients must get Spiritual Care and the Family Program at right back to work.

Hazelden in Center City, Minn. He welcomes your feedback. His e-mail address is jmacTo counter this belief, I pose this question: "If dougall@hazelden.org. you died, would they close down the business in your honor because there's no point in going on Published in The Voice - Summer 2005

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Older Adults Deserve Recovery From Alcoholism, Addiction to Prescription Drugs Not surprisingly, the signs of alcoholism and drug abuse are different in older adults than in younger people. Abuse among older people is often hidden, because they no longer have coworkers who can notice their behavior, they often live alone, and they don't drive as much as they used to so they don't get stopped as much for driving under the influence.

However, there are some signs that may indicate a drinking or drug problem, such as: * Solitary or secretive drinking. * A ritual of drinking before, with, or after dinner. * A loss of interest in hobbies or pleasurable activities. * Drinking in spite of warning labels on prescription drugs. * Immediate and frequent use of tranquilizers. * Slurred speech, empty liquor and beer bottles, smell of alcohol on breath, change in personal appearance. * Chronic and unsupported health complaints. * Hostility or depression. * Memory loss and confusion.

Consider consulting a counselor, psychologist, doctor, social worker, or other professional if you suspect that an elderly loved one has a substance abuse problem. If possible, list the person's medications, doctors, family members and friends, and your observations in preparation for your meeting.

Always be gentle and loving with older persons and avoid shaming words or labels such as "alcoholic" or "drug addict," because they may retreat even more if they feel they are "bad" and their abuse could worsen. Be direct and specific, using "I" phrases such as "I'm concerned your drinking alcohol may be interacting with your medications."

Because older people may live alone or far away from family, it is often a mail carrier, a

meter reader, a church friend, a neighbor, or a local storekeeper who observes behavior changes. Programs like Gatekeeper (253-7563988) are valuable community resources that train those who come in contact with high-risk older adults to identify and refer problems. The U.S. Postal Service's "Carrier Alert" notifies mail carriers about older persons or shut-ins who are enrolled in the program. If mail accumulates, carriers alert the appropriate social service agency.

Substance abuse treatment for older adults not only improves their quality of life, but also helps family members, friends, caregivers, and the community. Relationships can deepen, making whatever years remain richer and more meaningful. We also know that treatment for substance use disorders is as effective as treatments for other chronic conditions, such as high blood pressure, asthma, and diabetes.

According to the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), the following features are most important in treating older persons who have substance abuse problems: * Age-specific group treatment that is supportive and non-confrontational and aims to build the patient's self-esteem. * A focus on coping with depression, loneliness and loss. * A focus on rebuilding the client's social support network. * A pace and content of treatment that is appropriate for the older person. * Staff members who are interested and experienced in working with older adults. * Linkages with medical services, services for the aging, and institutional settings for referral into and out of treatment, as well as case management.

If age-specific treatment is not possible or

practical, it is important that facilitators and members in a mixed-aged program take care to address the special needs and issues of the older participants.

While it is crucial to identify and treat older substance abusers, it is even more important to provide an environment that promotes healthy behavior by empowering individuals to manage life events without drugs or alcohol. SAMHSA identifies these protective factors: * Access to resources, such as housing and health care. * Availability of support networks and social bonds. * Involvement in community activities. * Supportive relationships. * Education (eg, wise use of medications) and skills. * Sense of purpose and identity. * Ability to live independently.

Bereavement, pre-retirement, wellness, smoking cessation, drug and alcohol education, and life skills programs encourage healthy coping skills. Alternative activities such as volunteer work, Foster Grandparent programs, arts programs, post-retirement work activities, and cultural activities (such as community gardening) develop self-assurance, facilitate healthy interactions, and relieve boredom.

The U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health ServicesAdministration (http://www.samhsa.gov/) offers a wide range of information and resources to help identify, treat, and prevent substance abuse among older adults. The pamphlet "How to Talk to an Older Person Who Has a Problem With Alcohol or Medications" is available on the Hazelden Web site or a free printed copy can be obtained by calling 1-800-257-7810.--Published March 6, 2006 , hazelden.org

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Hotlines and Helplines AA BROWARD COUNTY AA FLORIDA KEYS AA HOTLINE, North Palm Beach

954-462-0265 305-296-8654 561-655-5700

AA HOTLINE, South Palm Beach AA HOTLINE Broward

561-276-4581 954-462-0265

DEPRESSION AND MANIC DEPRESSION DEPRESSION - OVER 55 FAMILY CAREGIVER PROGRAM FLA. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE

954-746-2055 954-746-2055 305-292-8445 800-500-1119

FLORIDA BAR LAWYER’S REFERRAL

800-342-8011

954-462-7202

FLORIDA HIV/AIDS HOTLINE

800-FLA-AIDS

AA MIAMI DADE

305-371-7784

ABUSE REGISTRY

800-962-2873

ADD PARENTS SUPPORT

954-473-8644

AL ANON HOTLINE, Palm Beach

561-278-3481

AL ANON HOTLINE, Broward AL-ANON/AL-ATEEN

954-491-1915 8884ALANON

FLORIDA INJURY HELPLINE FLORIDA INTERGROUP AA FOOD ADDICTS IN RECOVERY FLORIDA PET GREIF SUPPORT GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS HEPATITIS-B HOTLINE

ALIEN ABDUCTION SUPPORT GROUP

954-698-6926

ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION

954-726-0002

ALZHEIMER’S COMMUNITY CARE AT RISK YOUTH PROGRAM BIG BROTHERS & SISTERS CAPITOL CITY YOUTH SERVICES

561-278-6649 727-726-8829 561-966-4120 850-576-6000

CATHOLIC DIOCESE OF ORLANDO

407-658-1818

CDC NATIONAL AIDS HOTLINE

800-342-2437

CHILD ABUSE HOTLINE

800-4ACHILD

COCAINE ANONYMOUS CODEPENDENTS ABNONYMOUS CONSUMER HOTLINE COSA (co-dependents of sex addicts) COUNCIL ON COMPULSIVE GAMBLING

954-779-7272 800-254-1333 800-848-3792 763-537-6904 800-426-7711

CRIMESTOPPERS CRIME LINE

800-458-TIPS 800-423TIPS

DASH (Divorced and Separated Help)

561-451-2312

DEBTOR’S ANONYMOUS DEPRESSION & BIPOLAR SUPPORT

954.925.4068 813-878-2906

800-510-5553 407-276-4581 1-866-325-0500 352-392-4700 800-891-1740 800-891-0707

HEPATITIS HOTLINE HIV/AIDS HOTLINE HOSPICE HOSPICE/HOMECARE BY THE SEA JEWISH FAMILY& CHILD SERV LAWYER ASSISTANCE RECOVERY, INC LUPUS FOUNDATION OF S. FLORIDA MARIJUANA ANON. MIAMI HELPLINES

800-545-2437 800-352-2437 954-467-7423 800-3923189 561-684-8443 800-282-8981 561-642-1722 561-279-8606 800-766-6779 305-358-4357

MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS FOUNDATION

800-441-7055

NTNL. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE NAR-ANON, Broward

Nare-Anon Florida Region

800-799-SAFE 954-584-6578 888-947-8885

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Palm Beach NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS, Broward

561-848-6262 954-476-9297

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS gold coast

954-476-9297

NAT. CTR. ELDERLY ABUSE

800-96-ABUSE

NATIONAL RUNAWAYSWITCHBOARD

800-RUNAWAY

NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE

800-SUICIDE

The Solution News 640 Beacon Street, Manchester, NH, 03104

Phone:

603-657-5580 WEBSITE: solutionnews.org Email: solutionpublishingcompany@gmail.com

The Solution is not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous or any other 12 Step Program although our content is directed towards those who have found the 12 Step philosophy to be a significant factor in their lives. The Solution News published by Sobersolution six times a year for people actively working on their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being. We are committed through articles and advertising to provide a broad spectrum of recovery, renewal and growth information. The opinions are those of the contributors. We seek to attract advertisers who represent their products and services with integrity but we urge readers to be wise consumers.

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RNS & LPNS For Admissions Department We are looking for Florida licensed LPNS and RNS who are friendly & compassionate and able to work with alcoholics and addicts. The hours are a mix of evenings and nights with weekend work involved.

We are also looking for an RN to supervise the clinical aspects of the department and work as an integral part of an allied health professional’s team.

Therapists

Behavioral Health Techs

Are you looking for a place where the concept of "team" has deeper meaning? We are looking for caring, insightful therapists who are committed to the highest quality care for our patients and who have the desire to support those who are struggling with addiction. Our facilities offer our patients comfortable and safe surroundings to begin their journey of recovery. The Watershed is Joint Commission accredited and fully licensed by the State of Florida. Our therapists provide individual and group counseling to patients in our inpatient treatment program. The therapist is able to develop a relationship with the patient that begins in detox and lasts throughout the entire length of stay. The therapist functions within the limits of their licensure, registration and/or certification. Graduation from an accredited college or university with a Masters Degree in a health-related discipline; licensed and/or accredited applicants preferred. Experience with chemical dependency and/or dual diagnosis programs preferred. The Watershed welcomes recovering individuals to apply! Recovering individuals must have a minimum of 1 full year of abstinence from drugs/alcohol to eligible for employment.

Are you a caring, compassionate individual? Are you able to provide supervision and support for others in a thoughtful, respectful manner?

If you have these qualities we encourage you to apply for a position as a Behavioral Health Technician, (BHT). Our BHT's are directly involved in providing quality care for patients as part of the overall team and are responsible for conducting meetings and providing structure for our patients during their treatment experience. As a BHT you are the frontline staff member, having frequent interactions with the patients throughout their stay. As a result you are in a position to have a positive impact on the patient's view toward recovery. The average day for a BHT involves a variety of activities; there isn't a lot of time spent in one place since our patient's care is conducted in different areas of the facility. The BHT should have a clear sense of personal boundaries and be able to enforce clearly established guidelines.

People with their own personal recovery experience are encouraged to apply! Must have a minimum of 12 months of sobriety.

Alumni Coordinators

We are currently seeking hard working, customer service oriented individuals with excellent communication skills to become members of our team. The Call-Back Representatives will work collaboratively with the Admissions Coordinators in order to admit new patients into our treatment facilities. This position involves making follow-up calls to individuals who have previously called The Watershed seeking treatment but were never admitted into our facility. Our goal is to reach out to those who may have avoided treatment in the past and assist them with their struggles of addiction, by offering our treatment services. This position is full-time with some weekends involved & located in our Delray Beach, corporate building.A year or more of 12step recovery experience is very beneficial to anyone working in this position. Prior call-center and/or healthcare experience are a plus!

The Watershed’s newest department is that of the Alumni coordinators!

Coordinators main focus is in making contact with ALL of Watershed’s alumni dating back to it’s doors opening in 1998! Through this effort any alumni who may have encountered relapse and needs help can be given a means to get back into their recovery and those who are maintaining recovery can be orientated to our current program which offers a variety of services, activities and opportunities to our alumni & their families.Work hours currently are: Mon.-Fri. 10am to 6pm at our office in Delray Beach. Six months or more of active 12-step recovery is needed and being an alumnus of The Watershed is preferred. Having basic computer & phone skills is a plus.

Call-Back Representatives

The Watershed is a Drug Free Workplace and an Equal Opportunity Employer. For more information, please visit: www.thewatershed.com. To apply, please go to www.thewatershed.jobs.

Watershed alumni - you don’t want to miss this!!!!

Are you a graduate of The Watershed Treatment Programs? Do you have an interest in personal growth in your recovery? Would you like to be able to help others, even as you were helped? If the answer to any or all of these questions is "YES", then we want to hear from you! The Watershed has a unique one of a kind ALUMNI PROGRAM that is quite literally filled with events, activities & services for you!! It is a place to find support, fellowship and numerous ways for you to be able to reach out and help others. We currently have over 3,100 registered alumni members around the country and we want YOU to be a part of this community! We also have an Alumni Family Outreach Program for YOUR family members to offer them the same connection and support with each other that now numbers just under 2,400!!! As promised .the NEW WATERSHED ALUMNI WEB SITE has begun!!! It includes a NEW FAMILY WEB SITE as well! To register either for the Alumni or Family site, just go to www.livesinrecovery.com today! You will find a place to register under "ALUMNI" and a place to register under "FAMILY". For each site, there are security measures and a verification process in place to insure that "only alumni" are on the Alumni site and "only families" are on the family site. This is a SOCIAL web site, where you will be able to chat, create groups and meetings, upload videos, create photo albums, find local meetings, be up to date on events, access the new Alumni Magazine, the monthly Alumni Newsletter and Life Saver’s Club Newsletter, and SO MUCH MORE! Those of you already registered; do you remember receiving LOTS of emails from us?? Well, NO MORE! There will now be an email sent out ONCE A MONTH to let you know of all that is happening for the next 30 days and what to look for on the site. EVERYTHING will now be located on the web site. We hope that you will get involved with alumni if you aren’t already. We have the Alumni Speaker Meetings EVERY SATURDAY from 9:30am to 11:30am at BOTH the BOCA and BOYNTON facilities. You MUST have 90 days clean and sober to attend. If you are a new alumnus with less than 90 days in recovery, we have special support meetings just for you! The ALUMNI SUPPORT meeting at THE WATERSHED APARTMENTS in Lake Worth, FL on THURSDAY nights, from 5:30 to 6:45pm under the tent by the pool. ALL ALUMNI with less than 90 days should attend so that you can gain important information related to your early recovery AND so that you can receive a 90 day medallion. For directions or further information or questions, contact Rebecca Balko at the contact information listed below. Last but not least if you are an alumnus and have an interest in working in the field of addiction recovery and/or in our Alumni Department, The Watershed wants to hear from you! If you are interested in seeking employment you can either contact Rebecca Balko or go directly to our web site at www.thewatershed.com and go to Human Resources to place an "on line" application. *You need to have 1yr. clean and sober for most positions* We look forward to hearing from you! You can contact Rebecca Balko at: Rbalko@thewatershed.com (or write) 200 Congress Park Dr. Suite 101 Delray Beach, FL 33445 (PHONE: 877-416-9566 ext.88204)

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Events November 20, 2010 21st Annual SPBC Intergroup Gratitude Dinner.

6pm - 10pm.

Embassy Suites 661 NW 53 Street, Boca Raton (561) 994-8200 There will be 450 tickets at $36 each (tables of 10) and will be sold at the September 30th Intergroup Business Meeting. This is the most popular event of the fall season so get with your groups early to plan to buy a table.

July 29, 30, 31 & August 1, 2010 SOUTHEASTERN CONFERENCE OF YOUNG PEOPLE IN AA Louisville, Kentucky Speaker, workshop, panel, meditation meetings, game rooms, brunch, banquet, child care room and more.

HYATT DOWNTOWN CONVENTION CENTER 320 West Jefferson Registration $15, $20 after July 1, mailed to:SERCYPAA, PO Box 7954, Louisville, KY 40257 For more information, please call Terry K. (502) 650-1184 or visit:

www.sercypaa.org Certified by The Florida Board of Clinical Social Work, Marriage and Family Therapy, Mental Health Counseling, Board of Addiction Professionals Feel Free To Explore Our Website:

www.ProfessionalEnancementServices.com Or Give Us A Call:

561-642-3103

To request Information on Events Page:

solutionpublishingcompany @ gmail.com

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Events ATTENTION!!

MEETING SLOTS ARE AVAILABLE SMOKING NON-SMOKING. MOST TIME SLOTS AVAILABLE. FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL KATHY K.

(561) 926-0330

OUR CLUB

219 SOUTH DIXIE HWY. LAKE WORTH, FL. 33460 Friday, July 30, 2010 - Sunday, August 1, 2010

Way of Life Conference 2010 We invite you for a weekend of AA and Al-Anon Recovery and Entertainment at the 5th Annual Way of Life Conference! Come join us at the Hilton Palm Beach Airport in West Palm Beach for a weekend of great Meetings, Speakers, Dinner, Band, Ice Cream Social, DJ, and much more!!

Keynote Speakers Include: Friday Night AA Speaker- Robbie W., NJ. 26 yrs, Saturday Al-Anon Speaker Mary E., FL. 22 yrs, Saturday Night AA Speaker Clancy I., CA. 52 yrs Rooms available at the Hilton Palm Beach Airport (I-95 @ Southern Blvd) Enjoy the Special Group Rate of only $89 per room per night double or single occupancy.Call the hotel directly & mention Way of Life Conference to reserve your room at group rate 561-684-9400 561-684-9400 / www.palmbeachhilton.com For More Information and Registration go to

http://www.wayoflifeconference.com/main.sc

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Rebecca B.

A Declaration ~ July 4, 1776, More Than Just Words ~ We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness ~

it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me death!"

Freedom is defined as: The ability to act freely; Release or rescue from being physically I don't know if it is because of age, life bound, or from being confined, enslaved, capexperience, increased awareness, where I am in my personal life or if perhaps it is a combination of them all…but I find myself far more aware of our National holidays and their true meanings than I've ever been at any other time in my life. Especially the holidays regarding our great Nation's history, as well as the men and women who enable us to have all of the freedoms and liber- tured or imprisoned; The state of not being subties that we enjoy. (Holiday's such as Armed jected to something unpleasant. Of Freedom, Forces Day, Veteran's Day, Memorial Day and Dwight D. Eisenhower had this to say: "Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, The 4th of July - Independence Day) There was a time in my life, (and I hate the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned to say it), where for the most part these holidays and refreshed - else like a flower cut from its meant being off work, doing something fun, life-giving roots, it will wither and die." partying, relaxing, etc… Other than an intellec- Charles de Gaulle said this: tual acknowledgement of what the day was "History does not teach fatalism. There are actually about, I really didn't give it much moments when the will of a handful of free men thought. It was a day that often, (looking back breaks through determinism and opens up new on it now), was all about me and what I wanted roads."

Independence is defined as: Freedom to do on "my time off". Never did I really from control; Freedom from dependence on or "think" about what these days were set aside for control by another person, organization or state. ~ or the gravity of what they are really about.

More than any other time I can recall, It also means sovereignty, autonomy, liberty, September 11, 2001 changed everything. It individuality and liberation. On the subject of changed how I looked at the world around me independence, here are a few quotes: and gave me a humble awareness that "I should "Without moral and intellectual independence, understand not just in my mind…but in my there is no anchor for national independence." ~ heart, why I have the life that I do!" Why my life David Ben-Gurion is different than that of most of the world. To "To safeguard democracy the people must have understand why I have choices and opportuni- a keen sense of independence, self-respect and ties most of the world's population would dare their oneness." ~ Mahatma Gandhi not even dream about. Why I have the clothes "In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a on my back, water to drink, food in my stomach scarce man, brave, hated and scorned. When his with a pillow under and a roof over my head at cause succeeds however, the timid join him, for night….a luxury much of the world has to strug- then it costs nothing to be a patriot." ~ Mark Twain gle to try and have on a daily basis.

Such strong and passionate words, perWhat does Liberty, Freedom and haps spoken of by men who deep within themIndependence mean anyway?

Liberty is defined as: The right to selves already had an innate and humble awarechoose; The freedom to think or act without ness of liberty and freedom ~ or perhaps spoken being constrained by necessity or force. by men who, having stared in the face of the Freedom from captivity or slavery; Free or alternative and having seen that truth therein, found themselves consumed by a passion that allowed to do something. would allow for nothing to ever come before it.

Of liberty John F. Kennedy said this: "Let every nation know, whether it wishes us For it is in Liberty that we find our Freedom and well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any it is in our freedom that we have Independence burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, and finally it is in our independence that we oppose any foe, to assure the survival and suc- have Life as we know it today.

There are certain behaviors that insure cess of liberty." our ability to have Liberty, Freedom and Patrick Henry had this to say: "Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be pur- Independence, which result in our life as we chased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid know it and those are: Service - Helpful action

being done for someone else; Perseverance Determined, steady or continued action or belief; Defense - The protection of something from attack by an enemy; Battle - To fight or struggle against powerful forces.

In looking at our Independence Day I am filled with gratitude, honor and pride that I am an American and that I live in a Nation that allows me Liberty, Freedom & Independence. But it also causes me to reflect on it in an even more personal way.

My Independence Day was October 4, 1988 ~ alone in my room, realizing that I had reached a point of making a decision to either continue how I had been going and die for nothing or prepare for the battle of a lifetime and truly live for something. It was on that day that I saw with absolute clarity that I had existed as nothing more than a slave to my addiction.

That my actions, thoughts, self worth and indeed my very sense of being was under the attack and control of a foreign force that wished to strip me of all I was as a human being, cast me aside and see me dead. I realized in that moment that for me it was now worth everything to LIVE. If it cost a job or a relationship ~ so be it. Knowing I was walking into unfamiliar territory where I didn't know how to live ~ no longer mattered. I only needed answer a few questions - Did I or didn't I want to live above all else? Did I or didn't I want Freedom, Liberty, Independence ~ LIFE more than anything? Was I willing to do whatever it would take, no matter how long it might take ~ to live free of alcohol and drugs? Would my insecurity with God be my excuse to say no or would I take a risk, ask for help and live?

Thankfully my choice was LIFE. I reached that point of utter desperation that is in the pages of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous where I said: "God, you either are or your are not. You are to be everything in my life or you are to be nothing in my life. God I choose You!" I have found that since that day the same truths shared in the quotes mentioned earlier have proven absolutely true. What a gift this independence is! No more being bound, no more chains, no more emptiness, no more hopelessness ~ no more enslaving myself to that harsh task master. This is a battle worth fighting and defending daily. I think I can sum it up best in this quote by Charles Kingsley: "There are two freedoms - the false, where a man is free to do what he likes; the true, where he is free to do what he ought."

To all the members of our armed forces and their families; "Thank you and God bless you all!

(Rebecca B. ~ BeccainBham@aol.com)

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Recovery Bulletin Board

A CHRIST CENTERED 12 STEP PROGRAM Every Tuesday 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm RSVP for Free Childcare New Children’s Recovery Celebration Station nrunhaar@FUMCBocaRaton.org FUMC,625 Mizner Blvd., Boca Raton, FL 33432

The BEACHCOMBER Family Center For The Treatment Of Alcoholism and Drug Addiction 4493 North Ocean Boulevard Delray Beach, FL 33483 Telephone: 561-734-1818 From Broward County: 421-6226 From South Palm Beach County: 276-6226

JOSEPH R. BRYAN, Director

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The Wit of P.J. O’Rourke A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life.

Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything.

The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.

Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present.

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes.

And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography.

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

You may be surprised to discover you're rich, especially if you're broke.

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The Wisdom of Marianne Williamson Maturity includes the recognition that no one is going to see anything in us that we don't see in ourselves. Stop waiting for a producer. Produce yourself.

Personal transformation can and does have global effects. As we go, so goes the world, for the world is us. The revolution that will save the world is ultimately a personal one.

Dear God, Please send to me the spirit of Your May we not succumb to thoughts of violence peace. Then send, dear Lord, the spirit of peace and revenge today, but rather to thoughts of mercy and compassion. We are to love our enefrom me to all the world. Amen. mies that they might be returned to their right Fill you mind with the meaningless stimuli of a minds. world preoccupied with meaningless things, and it will not be easy to feel peace in your heart.

Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman's toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace.

As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.

Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.

God exists in eternity. The only point where eternity meets time is in the present. The present is the only time there is.

God is definitely out of the closet.

I deepen my experience of God through prayer, meditation, and forgiveness.

If I choose to bless another person, I will always end up feeling more blessed.

If you give your life as a wholehearted response to love, then love will wholeheartedly respond to you.

In every community, there is work to be done. In Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a heart, there is the power to do it. miracle.

In our natural state, we are glorious beings. In the world of illusion, we are lost and impris- Nothing liberates our greatness like the desire to oned, slaves to our appetites and our will to false help, the desire to serve. power.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Joy is what happens to us when we allow our- Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond selves to recognize how good things really are. measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.

Joy, has no cost.

Our past is a story existing only in our minds.

Love is what we were born with. Fear is what Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it. we learned here.

The first step in forgiveness is the willingness to forgive.

The goal of spiritual practice is full recovery, and the only thing you need to recover from is a fractured sense of self.

The only work that will ultimately bring any good to any of us is the work of contributing to the healing of the world.

The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.

The spiritual path - is simply the journey of living our lives. Everyone is on a spiritual path; most people just don't know it.

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we're not extending in the present.

We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what's wrong in your life, or you can focus on what's right.

We may have bad weather in Ireland, but the sun shines in the hearts of the people and that keeps us all warm.

We receive His peace when we ask Him for it.

We keep His peace by extending it to others.

Those are the keys and there are no others.

When an idea reaches critical mass there is no stopping the shift its presence will induce.

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AA to Change Way of Doing Things Things

New York, April 1, 2010 - Due to the downturn in the economy, Alcoholics Anonymous will NO LONGER be dues and membership free as has been the case for almost 75 years.

Like many businesses, AA will now be charging for some things that used to be free, such as: 1. Being Rocketed into the 4th Dimension -- $49.99 per trip, fuel surcharge applies, extra baggage NOT included. 5th Dimension trips optional; additional fee applies. See your sponsor for details.

2. Sponsorship -- was free, NOW $9.99 per month, with 4 visits/20 phone calls per month free, after that, $2.00 each. Surcharge for calls after midnight: $1.50 per call.

3. Membership Dues -- now $29.99/month, 10% discount for a 1-year plan.

4. Seating charges -- Each seat now $1.00 per meeting, with a 20% discount for the 90-in-90 plan.

5.Pink Cloud -- was free, NOW $14.99 per cloud, with a $5.00 per event environmental cleanup fee. These are the NEW ozone-free Pink Clouds that do NOT add to global warming.

6. Coffee -- $1.50 per cup, with a 10% discount for 5 or more cups.

7. Hugs -- will now be $2.50 each.

8. Conscious Contact with God -- now $9.99/month, with the first 450 minutes free, then 10 cents/minute over 450.. New Double your Minutes for Life plan is a low $49.99 one time charge. Holidays and weekends extra; see rate schedule, as God is VERY busy.

9. Accidental cell phone call during meeting -- charge now set at $25.00 per incident. Intentional calls: $75.00 10. I've been "Thinking" fees to now be $3.00 each, with a Relapse Reentry Fee of only $99.99 (each occurrence), if you're lucky enough to make it back into the rooms. Fees will be used to purchase additional white chips.

Please note: void where prohibited by law.

AA reserves the right to change none, all, or some of these rates at anytime, with no notice to you. If you need a notice of change in rates, a written request may be sent to headquarters in New York. A $10.00 fee applies.

NOTE: The editor does not accept responsibility for your reaction to this article. If you have a problem with it, please consult your sponsor (normal charges apply).

Kinda makes you think twice about how lucky we are that they decided to have the 8th tradition and not professionalize AA. Imagine having to pay for a professional sponsor. We probably have the only disease whose cure has not been commercialized. Makes us special and lucky. But, it's so easy to think that the cure isn't worth it's weight in gold because we don't have to pay big bucks for it!!

NO RECOVERY - NO FEE OR COSTS 660 E. Linton Blvd., Ste. 200-7 Delray Beach, FL 33444 ********** 6100 West Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 5 Margate, FL 33063 ********** 3353 West Mallory Blvd.

Jupiter, FL 33458

Call Eliot M. Bader At:

1-800-854-9311

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The Watershed WELCOMES YOU to become a member of our newest and most innovative program yet‌..............

THE LIFE SAVER'S CLUB!!!

In its most condensed definition - The Life Saver's Club is a service that allows its members, (YOU), the tools and support to help those people in your life currently caught in the grips of the progressive and fatal disease of addiction‌to get the very life saving help that they need. Along with this, the Life Saver's Club will also provide its members, (YOU), with services and information to benefit your life and enable us to recognize you and thank you for the efforts put forth in saving the life of another.

The Watershed desires to have (YOU) become a part of this ground breaking, one of a kind opportunity. Because of this, becoming a member is fast and easy! Simply go to our web site:www.watershedalumni.com - and click on the (Life Saver logo).

You will then be prompted to a registration form to complete and then click "submit". It's just that simple!

As a member you will have resources to begin accessing information for support, to answer questions and enable you in your efforts to help others get the assistance that they need. Upon registering, you will receive a packet with information, Life Saver's Club Assistance cards to aid you in helping others and a gift just for joining! There is also a gift for making referrals, and in the event your referral comes in to the Watershed for treatment - A brick with you name will be placed at a designated site at our Palm Beach facility, to memorialize a life that has been saved. (On the Life Saver's Club site you will be able to see the names of our members, those who've made referrals and those who will have been a part of saving a life.) If the person you are trying to help is someone that will not be able to come in to treatment at The Watershed, no worries! We have a full time Resource Staff that will be ready to help that person locate treatment in their area that will fit into whatever budget or financial situation they may have.

The Watershed cares about those suffering and desires to help them in whatever way possible. To refer someone for help there are several options: You can call "with them" to #1-877-97-LIVES; You can call "for them" to get things started or simply provide them with the Life Saver's Club Assistance Card that you will receive. You do NOT have to be an Alumnus of The Watershed to join. The Life Saver's Club is open to anyone that wishes to be a part of saving the lives of individuals caught in the grips of addiction. We look forward to hearing from YOU soon!

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The Prayers of the Steps 1st STEP

7th STEP

God, Creative Intelligence, Universal Mind, Spirit of Nature or Spirit of the Universe my name is ______, And I’m a real alcoholic … and I need your help today. (pg.. 10-2, 46, & Chp. 3 BB)

“I humbly offered myself to God, as I then I understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch.” (p. 13)

2nd STEP God, I’m standing at the turning point right now. Give me your protection and care as I abandon myself to you and give up my old ways and my old ideas just for today. AMEN (p. 59 BB) 3rd STEP “God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.

Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!” (p. 63 BB) God, Take my will and my life. Guide me in my recovery.

Show me how to live. AMEN (the step on p. 59 BB)

“My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.” (p. 76 BB) 8th STEP “We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask until it comes.”(p. 76 BB) God help me to become willing to sweep away the debris of self will and self reliant living. Thy will be done for this person as well as for me. AMEN (see above)

4th STEP WHEN IN DOUBT “I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me.

Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. Then only might I expect to receive.

But that would be in great measure.”(p.13) WHEN I AM DISTURBED BY THE CONDUCT (SYMPTOMS) OF OTHERS “This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.”(p. 67 BB) God help me to show this person the same tolerance, pity and patience that I would Cheerfully grant a sick friend. This is a sick person, how can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done. (see above and p. 141 of 12&12) WHEN I AM AFRAID “We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be.”(p. 68 BB) God, relieve me of this fear and direct my attention to what you would have me be. AMEN (see above) WHEN I AM AWARE OF MY OWN DEFECTS AND SEEKING GOD’S HELP TO CHANGE “We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. . . we ask God what we should do about each specific matter.”(p. 69 BB) God mold my ideals in this particular area of my life and help me to live up to them. What should I do in each specific matter? Guide me God and give me strength to do right. AMEN(see above) 5th STEP God I thank you from the bottom of my heart that I know you better. Help me become aware of anything I have omitted discussing with another person. Help me to do what is necessary to walk a free man at last. AMEN (p. 75 BB) 6th STEP

9th STEP God give me the strength and direction to do the right thing no matter what the consequences may be. Help me to consider others and not harm them in any way. Help me to consult with others before I take any actions that would cause me to be sorry. Help me to not repeat such behaviors. Show me the way of Patience, Tolerance, Kindliness, and Love and help me live the spiritual life. AMEN (p. 78-80 BB) 10th STEP God remove the Selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear that has cropped up in my life right now. Help me to discuss this with someone immediately and make amends quickly if I have harmed anyone. Help me to cease fighting anything and anyone. Show me where I may be helpful to someone else. Help me react sanely; not cocky or afraid. How can I best serve You – Your will, not mine be done. AMEN (p. 84-5 BB) 11th STEP “As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day ‘Thy will be done.’ ” (p. 87-8 BB) God, I’m agitated and doubtful right now. Help me to stop and remember that I’ve made a decision to let You be my God. Give me the right thoughts and actions. God save me from fear, anger, worry, self-pity or foolish decisions that Your will not mine be done. AMEN (Prayer of St Francis of Assisi) —”Lord, make me a channel of thy peace – that where there is hatred, I may bring love – that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness – that where there is discord, I may bring harmony – that where there is error, I may bring truth – that where there is doubt, I may bring faith – that where there is despair, I may bring hope – that where there are shadows, I may bring light – that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted – to understand, than to be understood – to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen.”(p. 99 12&12) 12th STEP

God help me become willing to let go of all the things to which I still cling. Help me to be ready to let You remove all of these defects, that Your will and purpose may take their place. AMEN (p. 76 BB)

God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change Courage to change the things we can, And wisdom to know the difference (p.125 12&12)

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Recovery Bulletin Board

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21

JO LINDA BROWN

obcottages@aol.com

OCEANBREEZE COTTAGES Safe Supportive Living Delray Beach, FL Cell 561-523-2806 Call for Info

Tel 561-495-1001 Fax 561-495-1002 www.obcottages.com

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JEANNIE SAROS

CAP, LMHC, MH 8070

National Board Certified Counselor EMDRA trained and certified Clinical Hypnotherapist specializing in trauma.

Director of Recovery Coach Training for sober.com and Intervention Strategies On staff of Lotus 12 and Dr. Arthur Rosenblatt, 6699 S. Federal Hwy, Suite 103

Holistic Life Coach Specializing In: Recovery/Addiction/Trauma Group & Individual Therapy Clinical Hypnotherapy, EMDR, Recovery Coach Training Offering “koffee and kounseling� as a free service to the community at Gizzies Coffee every Tuesday from 7- 9, all seekers welcome!

6699 South Federal Hwy, Suite 103, Boca Raton, FL 33487 jsaros@lotus12.com jeannie@sober.com sarosjsar@aol.com

Phone: 561-542-0941 Wanna Play? Come on a Gratitude Cruise 561-702-2312

www.sobercelebrations.com

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James Lehman Leaves Legacy of Love and Service James Lehman died on May 24th at the age of 63. He was sober for 24 years. Two days after he passed, there wasn't enough space in the art room at St. Joan of Arc, a catholic church in Boca Raton, Florida, for all who came to pay their respects to his family. His wife and son sat in the front row and behind them chairs lined the room filled with loving friends. As the service began people craned their necks in the hallway, while some shuffled in to find standing space in the far corner.

sage are still here," said Steve, James' business partner from Maine, "he was a teacher and he had so much to give."

"I saw God work through James," said Chris S. through muffled tears.

As the memorial service ended and the clean up began, all those in attendance left with a post card that had James' picture printed on it.

Underneath his birth and death date was his tagline that he often used to preface his sharing in meetings. It read: "Thank God for AA, 'cause I couldn't stop drinking."

"It was like a family reunion," said Jason M., "it was a testament to the work James did in A.A." Elliot B. approached the podium, quieted the hubbub from the large crowd and began the memorial service with the serenity prayer.

"I really loved James," said Elliot B., "but what was so special was that I knew he loved me. I knew he loved me. That was a gift from God. He gave me James and he gave me James' love."

And then speaker after speaker was called forward and they spoke of their love for a man whose guidance and enthusiasm had shaped their sobriety. Men cried openly, often followed by thunderous laughter after a humorous anecdote. But if one thing was consistent, even though James Lehman's physical body was not present, his message was.

"What an authentic person," said Ariel B. "I loved that man," said Jason M., "and I still love him. I'm the luckiest man in the world.

He brought me closer to God." "The man is gone but his spirit and his mes-

"My dad is a hero," said Jeremy Lehman, "And my father is in the light. I think we can feel that radiance. He touched a lot of people and I am so proud of him. His life encompasses this massive transformation and it wasn't an introspective thing. He didn't do it alone, he shared it with other people and he learned that in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous."

---Donovan O.

"It's amazing how much love he had to give and I'm glad I was apart of it," said Mike B. "When we sat down once a week, the first thing he would talk about was his love for his family and how proud he was of them," said Teddy.

"My condolences to everyone in this room who knew this man," said Steve C., "but especially, I'd like to offer my condolences to those of you who didn't. He was a special man."

"He knew how to live each day fully," said Ben T., "he gave everything he had to give, every day. And he taught that it didn't matter how much damage you have done to yourself or society, because if you choose to position yourself to receive the grace of God, the redemption that takes place is a joy forever."

{Twenty-five years ago or so I had the opportunity to work with James at the Sweetser Children’s Home in Saco, Maine.

I also knew him in the program in the southern Maine area. He was always a caring and loving person and on the job a patient and healing presence. He was a teacher in and out of the program.

Many years later I heard his unmistakable voice at a meeting and knew right away that it was James. I thought he may be visiting but was thrilled to know he had moved here. As our paths crossed over the years we shared our common love of the program and our sober lives. I’m glad we spent a lot of time together on a Sober Cruise several years ago as we shared our enthusiasm with younger members of the program. We’ll all miss James but he lives in our hearts and minds and we’ll remember his deeds and words as we pass them on to generations of newcomers.} ----Dave F.

As the memorial service ended and the clean up began, all those in attendance left with a post card that had James' picture printed on it. Underneath his birth and death date was his tagline that he often used to preface his sharing in meetings. It read:

"Thank God for AA, 'cause I couldn't stop drinking."

24

Our Readers Write An Unlikely Messenger

It had happened again. The insidious first drink had sent me rocketing back into the shame, fear, remorse, and guilt that I had distanced myself from with four and half months of white knuckling it, as I now like to call that experience. Any progress I had made while being dry was washed away in the first sip and now all I had was the emptiness of sobriety and the intense desire for the ease and comfort of a drink. I sat in wonder, as many of us alcoholics have, how I could have let this happen again. Of course, I knew. It was with serious intention that I went about taking that first beer. It was a Bud Light and I had been looking at in the refrigerator for days. I opened it up and set it on the table. I smoked a cigarette. I came back in the house and made a phone call. Without much convincing I had gained a partner and I chugged. I drank the beer in two tries and went to get another. Within two weeks, I found myself on the porch penniless, bloody, and wondering where I left that last beer.

I hung on for two days after that and then, had an epiphany.

All I had to do was show up at a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and I might get sober. I had been to meetings before and even had a sponsor. But I didn’t work any steps. I didn’t do any work. I was disapproving of these AA freaks, as I like to call them. I didn’t want what they had. In fact, I wrote the whole thing off as a huge cult. All the chanting and handholding and god stuff seemed a crock of shit. I could recognize I had a problem, but I denied the solution that these AA people offered. But, this time was different because I had seen that I could not stay sober on my own. I was, as the big book calls it, whistling in the dark.

So, I showed up. I remember walking into the meeting scared, but needing a cigarette, so I joined a group of people smoking and bummed one from kid named Bobby. I introduced myself as Donovan. I got handshakes all around. I smoked. A guy named Bruce began singing an old Donovan tune from the 1970’s and everyone laughed. I shuffled my feet and looked at the ground. When I was in the meeting I noticed that Bruce stayed outside and paced back and forth between the windows. He was talking to himself.

Looking back on that first meeting is interesting, because my sponsor was in that group of smokers and we have since worked the steps and the freedom I feel is incredible when compared to that Bud Light. Bobby has since picked up nine months and I’m right behind him.

Bruce is in jail for murder. He stabbed his roommate to death. He called the police and they found him sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette with a dead body lying on the floor next to him. It had been like that all night. He claimed self-defense. His roommate was attacking him with a toilet plunger, he said. So, Bruce is a murderer and will probably be in jail for the rest of his life, but that’s not how I’ll remember him. I’ll remember him singing a tune and chain smoking outside an AA meeting. I’ll remember him as an alcoholic trying to get sober. And I’ll remember how, despite himself, he passed the AA message of acceptance to a scared newcomer, just another alcoholic trying to get sober.

---------Donovan O.

Empty Shoes It wasn’t a young horse that killed the boy, Ended his life all too soon It was the thirty-eight special Bought on Monday, early afternoon Joey’s mother sits silently weeping As another death breaks the news She turns to the table in the hall And the pair of empty shoes.

She ponders how it would have been, If he had not played out that day, If only he had caught the baseball, Not the bullet that went astray.

Joey’s twinkling eyes are missing As are others who made the news And laughing fun filled foot steps Are replaced with empty shoes.

How many shoes are too many?

One thousand or maybe more Too many children are dying Victims of this ongoing war.

They said he didn’t see it coming, He did not hear the bang Perhaps when his wings were fitted He heard as the angels sang.

They buried Joe on Friday, Not yet six years old They say he lasted three days Trauma fought brave and bold.

Joey played at being a cop A cowboy and a soldier too He lay down dead sometimes Just like a hero would do.

And all that’s left are empty shoes, As another bullet hits the news, One more child died while playing free Pointless victim, no enemy.

Joe’s dreams of being a cowboy Fly wasted in the air His blood still stains the playground, By the swings over there.

—-Wendy Bennett 2000

25

Why Do We Say The Lord’s Prayer at Meetings?

[Newcomers often wonder why a Christian prayer is said at all AA meetings when AA is not a religious program but a spiritual one.

I recently came across this letter on the Internet which Bill in his own words explains the origin and the continuing tradition of saying the Lord’s Prayer and The Serenity Prayer at Meetings.]

A Letter From Bill W. Regarding The Lord's Prayer In A.A. From the A.A. Archives in New York April 14, 1959 Dear Russ, Am right sorry for my delay in answering. Lois and I were a long time out of the country and this was followed by an attack of the marathon type of flu that has been around here in New York. We are okay now, however, but I did want to explain my delay.

the introduction of any prayer whatever into an ordinary A.A. gathering. Also, it is sometimes complained that the Lord's Prayer is a Christian document. Nevertheless this Prayer is of such widespread use and recognition that the arguments of its Christian origin seems to be a little farfetched. It is also true that most A.A.s believe in some kind of God and that communication and strength is obtainable through His grace. Since this is the general consensus it seems only right that at least the Serenity Prayer and the Lord's Prayer be used in connection with our meetings. It does not seem necessary to defer to the feelings of our agnostic and atheist newcomers to the extent of completely hiding our light under a bushel.

However, around here, the leader of the meeting usually asks those to join him in the Lord's Prayer who feel that they would care to do so. The worst that happens to the objectors is that they have to listen to it. This is doubtless a salutary exercise in tolerance at their stage of progress.

Now about the business of adding the Lord's Prayer to each A.A. meeting.

This practice probably came from the Oxford Groups who were influential in the early days of A.A. You have probably noted in AA. Comes of Age what the connection of these people in A.A. really was. I think saying the Lord's Prayer was a custom of theirs following the close of each meeting.

Therefore it quite easily got shifted into a general custom among us.

Of course there will always be those who seem to be offended by

So that's the sum of the Lord's Prayer business as I recall it. Your letter made me wonder in just what connection you raise the question.

Meanwhile, please know just how much Lois and I treasure the friendship of you both. May Providence let our paths presently cross one of these days.

Devotedly yours, Bill Wilson

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An "Interactive" Lord's Prayer Our Father who art in Heaven....

Yes? Don't interrupt me. I'm praying....

But you called Me. Called you? I didn't call you. I'm praying.

Our Father who art in Heaven....

There, you did it again....

Did what?

Called Me. You said, "Our Father who art in Heaven.."

Here I am. What's on your mind?

But I didn't mean anything by it.

I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord's Prayer. It makes me feel good, kind of like getting my duty done.

All right. Go on....

Hallowed be thy name.

Hold it. What do you mean by that?

By what?

By "Hallowed be thy name.".....

It means....it means....good grief, I don't know what it means. How should I know? It's just part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?

It means "Honored, Holy!

Wonderful."

Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what "Hallowed" meant before...

Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

Do you really mean that?

Sure, why not?

What are you going to do about it?

Doing? Nothing, I guess. I just think it would be neat if you got control of everything down here like you have up there.

Have I got control of you?

Well, I go to church.

That isn't what I asked you. What about that habit of lust you have? And your bad temper? You've really got a problem there, you know. And then

there's the way you spend your money ...... all on yourself. And what about the kinds of books you read?

Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest of those phonies at the church.

Excuse me .... I thought you were praying for my will to be done. If that

is to happen, it will have to start with the ones who are praying for it. Like you, for example.

Oh, all right! I guess I do have some hang-ups. Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others.

So could I. I haven't thought about it until now, but I really would like to cut out some of those things. I'd like to, you know, be really free.

Good, now we're getting somewhere.

We'll work together .... you and I.

Some victories can truly be won. I'm proud of you.

Look Lord, I need to finish up here.

This is taking a lot longer than it usually does....

Give us this day our daily bread.

You need to cut down on the bread too ... You're overweight as it is.

Hey, wait a minute! What is this, "Criticize Me Day?" Here I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my hangups.

Praying is a dangerous thing.

You could wind up changed you know. That's what I'm trying to get across to you. You called me, and here I am. It's too late to stop now. Keep on praying. I'm interested in the next part of your prayer ....................

Well, go on.

I'm scared to.

Scared? Of what?

I know what you'll say.

Try me and see.

Forgive us our offenses as we forgive those who offend us.

What about Mark?

See I knew it! I knew you would bring him up! Why, he's told lies about me, cheated me out of money .... He never paid back that debt he owes me. I've sworn to get even.

But your prayer ...... What about your prayer?

I didn't mean it.

Well, at least you're honest. But it's not much fun carrying the load of bitterness around inside is it?

No, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even. Boy, have I made some plans for ol' Mark! He'll wish he never did me any harm.

You won't feel any better. You'll feel worse. Revenge isn't sweet. Think of how unhappy you are already. But I can change all that.

You can? How?

27 Forgive Mark. Then I'll forgive you.

Then the hate and sin will be Mark's problem and not yours... You may lose the money, but it will be settled in your heart.

But Lord, I can't forgive Mark.

Then I can't forgive you.

Oh, you're right! You always are. And more than I want revenge on Mark, I want to be right with you ............... All right! I forgive him. Help him to find the right road in life, Lord. He's bound to be awfully miserable, now that I think about it.

Some day, some way, show him the right way.

There now! How do you feel?

Hmmmmmm .... not bad. Not bad at all, In fact I feel pretty great.

You know, I don't think I'll have to go to bed uptight tonight for the first time since I can't remember. Maybe I won't be so tired from now on because I'm not getting enough rest.

You're not through with your prayer .....

Go on.

Oh, all right.Do not let us enter into temptation, but deliver us from error.

Good .... Good, I'll do that. Just don't put yourself in a place where you can be tempted.

What do you mean by that?

Quit hanging around the wrong places, watching inappropriate movies and television, listening to sinful conversations.

Change some of your friendships. Some of your so-called friends are beginning to get to you. They'll have you completely involved in wrong things before long. Don't be fooled. They advertise they're having fun, but for you it would be ruin. Don't use me for an escape hatch.

I don't understand.

Sure you do, You've done it ..... lots of times. You get caught in a bad situ-

ation, you get into trouble and then you come running to me. "Lord, help me out of this mess, and I promise you I'll never do it again." You remember some of those bargains you tried to make with me?

Yes, and I'm ashamed Lord. I really am.

I'm sorry Lord, I really am. Up until now I thought if I just prayed the Lord's prayer every day then I could do what I liked. I didn't expect anything to happen like it did.

Go ahead .... Finish your prayer.

Oh yes ....

For Thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory forever.

Amen.

Do you know what would bring me glory?

What would make me really happy?

No, but I'd like to know. I want to please you. I can see what a mess I've made of my life, and I can see how great it would be to really be one of your followers.

You just answered the question.

I did?

Yes, the one thing that would bring me glory is to have people like you truly love me. And I can see that happening between us. Now that some of these old sins are exposed and out of the way .... well, there's no telling what we can do together.

Lord, let's see what we can make of me, OK? Yes, let's see .....

From the "Good News" Newspaper, Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, November 1999 This and other recovery features at Barefoot’s World:

http://www.barefootsworld.net/

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Just Love Her: A Mother's Journey of Healing Through Her Daughter's Drug Addiction Here is a riveting, inspiring,true-life account of a mother's journey to heal herself, even as she strives to help her daughter overcome the ravages of drug addiction. For a story that is both practical and inspiring, you can't go wrong with Trina Hayes' new book, Just Love Her. Hayes has walked where parents fear to tread, learning important lessons along the way. Now she is eager to share her story, so that others can profit from the knowledge she gained.

Hayes thought she had her life on track. She was a professional woman and successful entrepreneur in Canada. A large part of her identity was the close relationship she had with her children. Then her daughter, Angie, began to assert her independence in uncharacteristic ways.

Before her fourteenth birthday it became clear to Hayes that not only had her daughter fallen into the wrong crowd, but she was also experimenting with drugs. Hayes' life seemed to unravel as she realized she could not cope with a child who defied every parameter of good behavior.

Reluctantly the mother sent her daughter to live with her father in the hope that a change of environment and renewed relationships with old friends would set Angie back on the right path. As Angie descended into self-destructive behavior, Trina found her own path to be strewn with issues she had not recognized when things were going well with her children. When her son, Sean, decided to move with his dad to be with Angie, Trina's outlook became even bleaker. In spite of the fact that she had always told her children they must stick together, she felt a loneliness that stripped away every certainty she had held.

Her self-esteem plummeted, and memories from her own childhood plagued her. No longer supremely confident in her abilities, Hayes made some unhealthy relationship choices, and there were times when she thought she had failed at everything. How could she have been so wrong about everything in her life? How could her daughter be doing drugs when Hayes had tried so hard to be a good parent? Only her faith kept her going.

When Angie agreed to go into treatment, Trina felt that she, as well as her daughter, had turned a corner. The road was not smooth.

Angie completed her six month treatment program and moved in with Trina and Sean, but soon she regressed into her old self-destructive behavior, violating the contract she had signed with her counselor and Trina and Sean.

Throughout all the ups and down, Trina clung on to the words of advice from a friend: "Just Love Her." She didn't know it, but Angie clung to those words, too; she depended on her mother's love as a lifeline.

No matter how badly she messed up, no matter how far she descended into her own private hell, she knew her mother loved her.

This is a love story, one that will inspire and teach far beyond parents and children touched by the ravages of drug addiction. Just Love Her begins with a forward by Angie, testifying that, indeed, the friend had given Trina the best possible advice, which was to Just Love Her. When Angie made choices that left her hanging by a thread, that thread was her mother's love.

Reviews and Testimonials Just Love Her is a riveting account of love and transformation between a daughter and a mother. Beautifully written and presents a magnificent vision for us all.

Lynn V. Andrews, author of international best selling MEDICINE WOMAN series.

Trina Hayes author of Just Love Her is a gripping true story of what happens when addiction takes grip of such a fragile relationship between mother and daughter. Trina has the gift to remove the stigma and stereotype trapped within family's battling addiction by sharing her personal story to her audience.

Bryan Johnson, Interventionist, Canton, Illinois If you had any doubt about the power of your heart in dealing with a loved one, the book Just Love Her will strengthen your determination‌‌ Larry Golbam, Prescription Addiction Radio Show, Tampa, Florida Just Love Her personifies the conscious decision of a mother to love her daughter in spite of. This book provides answers to questions regarding a rampant illness that crosses all socio economic boundaries and is an equal opportunistic plague that erodes the very fiber of society. I highly recommend this book for every member of society as a "must-read".

Constance K. Gatewood, Certified Addiction Professional,Quincy, Florida Trina Hayes' book Just Love Her is totally awesome and it will make a huge contribution to inner healing, health and wholeness. It offers a story of hope to parents whose children suffer from alcohol and drug addiction.

Hayes' book is on the cutting edge to building a better world both individually and collectively.

Grace McSheffrey, Counselor, Saint John, New Brunswick Trina Hayes is an author and inspirational speaker/leader who is dedicated to hope and healing for those afflicted with addiction and the people who surround them. She continues to write and learn about addiction and has a new book coming out in the fall, "Attracted to Addicts? It's YOUR Time for Happy, Healthy Relationships." She is completing a workbook to compliment the book and training a group of leaders to guide others on their path towards healing. Trina can be reached through her website at www.trinahayes.com.

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30

For Your Inspiration The Plan

Frog Story

I can tell when I am in tune with it, for then my mind and heart are filled with a deep inner peace. This peace fills me with a sense of security, with joy and a desire to take the Steps that are part of the Plan.

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all of their might.

The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

God’s Plan for me is a perfect part of a larger Plan. It is designed for the good of all and not for me alone. It is a many-sided Plan and reaches out through all the people I meet. All the events and people who come into my life are instruments for the unfolding of this Plan.

God has chosen those people he wants me to know, to love and to serve.

We are continually being drawn to one another in ways that are not coincidental. I pray that I may become more worthy to receive the love and service of others.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out.

I ask the Father within me for only those things which He wants me to have. I know that these benefits will come to me at the right time and in the right way. This inner knowing frees my mind and heart from all fear, greed, jealousy, anger and resentment. It gives me courage and faith to do those things which I feel are mine to do. I no longer look with envy at what others are receiving, nor do I compare myself with them. Therefore, I do not cut myself off from God, the giver of all good things.

God’s gifts to me can be many times greater than I am now receiving.

I pray that I may increase my capacity to give, for I can give only as I receive and receive only as I give.

I believe that when I cannot do those things I desire to do; it is because God has closed that one door, only to leave ajar a better and larger door.

If I do not see that door just ahead, it is because I have not seen, heard, or obeyed God’s guidance. It is then that God uses the trouble or seeming failure which may result to help me face myself and see the new opportunity before me.

The real purpose of my life is to find God within my own mind and heart, and to help my fellowmen. I thank my Father for each new experience which helps me to surrender my will to do His Will. For only as I lose myself in the consciousness of His Great Presence can His Plan for my life be fulfilled.

"When you are awake the dream is gone...

When you are Enlightened the 'world of illusion' is gone... ...and the TRUTH will make you FREE." Have Fun on Your Journey of Seeking, May You Walk the Paths of LIFE Happy, Joyous and FREE!

When he got out, the other frogs said, “Did you not hear us?” The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

This story teaches two lessons: (1) There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.

(2) A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them. Be careful of what you say.

Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words….it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times.

Special is the individual who will take the time to encourage another.

Be special to others.

Caffeine Addicts Quiz Do you want to know if you suffer from "Alertness Deficit Disorder" (ADD)? Then just take this simple quiz. These questions will help us to determine whether or not you suffer from this terrible affliction; the only known cure for which is caffeine. ADD takes the lives of millions of Americans, hundreds of Canadians, and a handful of Ugandans every year. If that doesn't scare you, let's just say that you are more susceptible than anyone else. YES, YOU!

31

13. Have you ever sold personal or other people's possessions just to get your fix for the day?

14. Does the phrase "swiss water decaffienated" strike terror into your heart?

15. a) Do you have a coffee maker in more than one room of your house?

If you suffer from this disease, missing just one trip to Starbucks b) ...in more than five? could be FATAL. The following series of Yes/No questions will allow c) ...in your bathroom? us to determine your Addiction Factor(TM). Keep track of the number of Yes and No answers you get and chart yourself at the end. 16. a) Do the people at Second Cup refuse do give you free coffee cards Remember: Prevention is the best medicine. Or was it laughter? Either anymore? way, read on. b) ...because you're wearing out their hole-punch? c) ...and it's bad for the environment?

1. Do you use coffee to escape from your problems?

17. Do you grind your own coffee?

2. Do you eat spoonfuls of instant coffee because it's easi18. Do you grow your own cofer? fee?

3. Have you ever woken up in a puddle of your own coffee?

19. Have you ever been fired from a job because you're "drinking their profits"?

4. Do you find that it's easier to drink more coffee than go to sleep?

20. a) Do you know Juan Valdez? b) ...and his donkey? c) ...intimately?

5. a) Have you ever drunk cold coffee?

21. Do you salivate uncontrollably whenever you hear dripping water?

b) Right out of the pot?

6. Do you spend more than 20% of your income on coffee and/or coffee related products?

22. a) Is sleep a hobby of yours? b) ...that you don't like? c) ...because it's too frustrating?

7. Does your coffee cup resemble a beer stein?

Response Ratio Addiction Factor

8. Has anyone ever told you that you "have a problem"?

Number of Yes's 9. Do you need coffee: a) ...to get up in the morning? b) ...to get out of bed? c) ...to be injected intravenously to stimulate blood-flow?

20-22 You are a well-rounded member of society with a love for life and you are very wise.

10. Do you own a "Coffee Helmet"? (For the culturally ignorant, a 17-19 coffee-helmet is a hat with coffee-cups attached to it and a straw coming out of each cup leading to the mouth, used for hands-free drinking.) You are a slightly jagged member of society, life's okay but it could be better and you are relatively naive.

11. Do Native North American Aboriginal Indian Peoples call you "Ona 0-16 mac towanda" (Smells-like-coffee)?

What are you, some kinda nature-freak tree-hugger!? Coffee's not 12. Does your doctor measure your heartbeat on the Richter scale as good enough for you, huh? Here, have some more TOFU! How about well as by its frequency? some ALFALFA TEA?!? YOU COMMIE PINKO!!!

32

WWWorst Opening Lines Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. The contest (hereafter referred to as the BLFC) was the brainchild (or Rosemary's baby) of Professor Scott Rice, whose graduate school excavations unearthed the source of the line "It was a dark and stormy night." Sentenced to write a seminar paper on a minor Victorian novelist, he chose the man with the funny hyphenated name, Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, who was best known for perpetrating The Last Days of Pompeii, Eugene Aram, Rienzi, The Caxtons, The Coming Race, and--not least--Paul Clifford, whose famous opener has been plagiarized repeatedly by the cartoon beagle Snoopy. No less impressively, Lytton coined phrases that have become common parlance in our language: "the pen is mightier than the sword," "the great unwashed," and "the almighty dollar" (the latter from The Coming Race, now available from the Broadview Press).

Runners up: When Detective Riggs was called to investigate the theft of a trainload of Native American fish broth concentrate bound for market, he solved the case almost immediately, being that the trail 5. "Although Sarah had an abnormal of clues led straight to the trainmaster, fear of mice, it did not keep her from who had both the locomotive and the eeking out a living at a local pet store." Hopi tuna tea.

6. "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved."

4. "Stanley looked quite bored and "Why does every task in the Realm of somewhat detached, but then penguins Zithanor have to be a quest?" Baldak of often do."

Erthorn, handyman to the Great Wizard Z a r t h o n , asked rhetorically as he 3. "Like an overripe beefsteak toma- began his journey to find the Holy to rimmed with cottage cheese, the cor- Hammer of Taloria and the Sacred Nail pulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead of Ikthillia so Baldak could hang one of Zarthon's mediocre watercolors, which on the hotel floor." was an art critique Baldak kept to him2. "Mike Hardware was the kind of self unlike his predecessor, whom private eye who didn't know the meaning Zarthon turned into the Picture Frame of the word 'fear'; a man who could of Torathank. laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death-- in short, a moron The rising sun crawled over the ridge and slithered across the hot barren terwith suicidal tendencies." rain into every nook and cranny like And the winner is. . . grease on a Denny's grill in the morning rush, but only until eleven o'clock when 1. "The sun oozed over the horizon, they switch to the lunch menu. shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, Billy Bob gushed like a broken water 10. "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew pushed through the castle window, main about his new love: "She's got long, that if he were ever to break wind in the revealing the pillaged princess, hand at beautiful, drain-clogging hair, more echo chamber, he would never hear the throat, crown asunder, gaping in fren- curves than an under-the-sink water end of it." zied horror at the sated, sodden trap, and she moves with the ease of a amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving motorized toilet snake through a four9. "Just beyond the Narrows, the the magnitude of the frog's deception, inch sewer line, but what she sees in me, river widens." a simple plumber, I'll never know." screaming madly, 'You lied!'"

8. "With a curvaceous figure that Looking sideways at Thomas, Mireille Venus would have envied, a tanned, Some Others slowly removed her scarf, waiting . . . unblemished oval face framed with lushoping . . . praying that when he came trous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue As he stared at her ample bosom, he close enough to smell the delectable eyes fringed with long black lashes, per- daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carfragrance of her long, luscious waves fect teeth that vied for competition, buretors in his vintage Triumph that he wasn't going to start sneezing and a small straight nose, Marilee had a Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly or sniffling or rubbing his eyes, because formed, perched prominently on top of beauty that defied description." those were tell-tale signs of his allerthe intake manifold, aching for experi7. "Andre, a simple peasant, had only enced hands, the small knurled caps of gies acting up, and if they did, he would one thing on his mind as he crept along the oil dampeners begging to be inspect- know that she had been out rolling the East wall: 'Andre creep. Andre ed and adjusted as described in chapter around in the lavender fields with Luc again. creep. Andre creep.'" seven of the shop manual.

"Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."

33

Trina Hayes

Who do you see when you look in the mirror?

Who do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see a person that is filled with hope or do you see a person that needs hope.

As there are two sides to every coin or feather, there are two ways of looking in to the mirror. I remember when I used to look into the mirror and see an ugly duckling. After all, I was the one who had the brains and my sister had the looks, so why wouldn't I see the ugly duckling sister. We all know the old saying that if you are told something often enough you begin to believe it. Well, although my family would disagree with what I have just said, sometimes the silence can be louder than the words. The silence then was that I wasn't told that I was beautiful but rather that I had the brains. To a little girl, really, who wants brains? Who wants to be seen as a nerd? I didn't. Sure, I enjoyed reading and playing school, but I would rather have been told that I was beautiful. Isn't that what every little girl wants to hear? The names or labels that come to my mind that I was called when I was growing up were: skinny minnie miller, cousin four eyes (because I had glasses and this was from a grown up) and brainy Trina. It was a long and difficult journey before I could look in to the mirror and see my own beauty. Actually, it was after many years of my daughter active in drug addiction and her holding up her mirror of hurt that I was chose to be courageous and look into that mirror of hers to begin my own journey of healing. Ultimately, I was able to hold up my mirror of healing and love for her to see her own beauty and so began her journey of healing.

Many things go through my mind as I write this article. The first that comes to mind is what is your relationship like with yourself? Do you know who you are? How would you describe what you see when you look into the mirror? For some of us, it takes years to look into the mirror and see hope and healing. For others, they die without hope and ultimately no healing.

It is so easy to look at others, especially those of us who tend to be surrounded by addicts to blame them for what is happening in our lives. That is the easy way. I want to encourage you to allow them to hold up the mirror and reveal to you the areas in your life that need healing. Who would have ever thought that my daughter's drug addiction would be the catalyst for my own healing? Not me, that's for sure.

I remind her all the time that she represents hope for those who are active in their addiction.

However, I represent hope for those surrounded by loved ones active in addiction. I could not save my daughter, nor could I heal her. However, I am responsible for my own healing and saving my own life.

Now, with this journey of hope and healing that I have embarked upon, I have a responsibility to share what I have learned in the hope that I can hold up my mirror of love to others and remind them of the importance of seeing their own beauty.

Who Do You See,When You Look In the Mirror?

The man in the mirror has been gone for a year.

Listen to his song, take heed look into the glass: your fear.

What do you see when you look deep within?

Do you like what you see or do you see a life of sin?

Where did that thought come from?

How long have you felt this way?

Now it's time to re-write your story and begin a new life........ today.

Only you can make a change in what the mirror says to you.

Only you can change your life and begin today.......anew.

So, look back into that mirror and decide what you are worth, which is love and joy and peace a gift bestowed at your birth.

This poem was written as a dedication to Michael Jackson and to those struggling with addiction and the people who surround them. It is my hope that we can learn from his life and begin our own individual journey's of healing. With love and light, Trina Hayes

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SUMMERTIME IS SALAD TIME some places to go and friends who understood where we had been. The amazing thing is: as unique and special as we thought our situation was, we discovered theirs was a similar soap opera, just a different channel! Our common bond was our choice of weapons and the same destructive path.

Summer always announces itself here in the south ahead of time and this year is no different! Whew…the heat came rolling in before the official summer solstice was upon us! Thank God for air conditioning. Old-timers in our meetings tell of moving the meetings outdoors under shade trees to beat the heat. In addition to coffee there were always pitchers of ice water and sometimes "ice cold lemonade!" Do you remember the "hand-fans" supplied to the churches which folks used to "fan" themselves in an attempt to keep cool?

They all bore advertising from local funeral homes! I wonder if that was a subtle reminder of the rapid path those who didn't mend their ways were more quickly headed? Staying cool is a priority and except for a couple of hard cooked eggs, our recipe offering this issue doesn't involve cooking.

If you are new to our program that offers solutions to your problems, get to know the old-timers. Stick with the winners. They wouldn't have survived if they hadn't found what works for them.

When we all first come into the program we were excited and glad we had found

We often wonder how our program works. But, it does. Those who qualify for membership only need to realize we have to surrender by giving up our old ways. It works if we follow the tried and true ways and adhere to the principles.

Stick with the winners. It is a selfish program, but we always seem to be doing something for others. At times we are disorganized. Maybe our Higher Power is happy with our efforts and makes things come out positive even when we push the wrong buttons.

Staying straight and sober is easier than getting that way. We know we are persistent in our meeting after the meeting concept, but in our early days we found it was a way to fellowship in a more relaxed setting and strengthen the bonds with those who keep us on the path.

We at the Sober Sideboard offer quick and easy recipes that allow you to take the after meeting to your home. If that's not an alternative, then head for a quick bite close by. Meals shared with friends can be bonding. Many coming into our fellowship are re-establishing positive communications with others and learning to socialize without the aide of destructive crutches. Often, they have to take meals alone. Let's reach out and share a little more.

This month's food offering is a cool refreshing salad and we've included our favorite salad dressing recipe. You can use store bought dressing or rustle up your own. So, let's grab our chef's hat and head for the kitchen.

Summer Salad (Serves 4) INGREDIENTS: 2 bags salad greens,any combo you like 2 tomatoes halved then quartered 4 hard cooked eggs quartered 2 cans of tuna fish/and or cooked shrimp 1 diced avocado 1 bunch chopped green onions or sliced red onions 4 ounces cheese (blue, feta, parmesan, any combo you like) DRESSING: 1 clove minced garlic 3/4 cup seasoned rice vinegar 1 lemon juiced 1 teaspoon Dijon style mustard 1 1/2 cups extra virgin olive oil A few grinds kosher salt and a several twists of black pepper PREPARATION:Wash and dry the greens thoroughly. You don't want folks whispering, "He or she serves wet gritty greens!" Halve, quarter, dice, and chop the other ingredients. For the dressing, whisk the first 4 ingredients together in the blender. Add the oil in a slow stream until all is homogenized.

SERVING:We like to place the greens on a very large platter then clump the other items in groups on top. It's a one platter buffet. You can add to our list with peppers, potatoes, anchovies, olives … just let your imagination run wild.

We like to use large serving size bowls for this one-dish-supper so there is plenty of room in the bowl for each to toss their own with the dressing. Add an assortment of crackers, lots of ice tea, and finish off with fresh chilled fruit.

Fresh greens and yummy toppings are nutritious. Your family will be telling you: "That's DEE-licious!"

"Try it…your tummy will be glad you did!" *************** Chef Lester, author, columnist and television host chef is a graduate of the Culinary Arts Academy. Questions, Comments, and suggestions! E-mail: cheflestelee@yahoo.com

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Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid,there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers don't have enough water, there is still only one check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Don't laugh -if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

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TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored leadbased paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because.....

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day.

And we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learn-ed to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape or dvd movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chatrooms...WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.

Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risktakers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! And YOU are one of them!

CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.

And while you are at it, send it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?

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Signs Of The Times

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Royal Recovery Resources Whether you have been a part of recovery in the past, are coming directly from treatment, or embarking on this journey for the first time, our program was created for YOU. Royal Recovery Resources is acutely aware that the first 30-90 days of sobriety are some of the most difficult times in recovery. Research shows that relapse rates are highest in the first year.

Royal Recovery Resources offers activities, resources, and aftercare services to improve these results. The Royal Program offers access to various outpatient treatments to provide individualized services with structure. This provides the necessary gradual transition recommended by all treatment facilities. The transition prepares residents for the return to a substance free lifestyle, long-term recovery, and success.

Royal Recovery Resources PROVIDES: -Transport three times daily to local 12 step meetings -Transport to grocery store as well as sober social activities -Private Resource room with computers, printers, phones, and a fax machine to assist with tasks such as finding employment, volunteer activities or enrolling in school -Relapse Prevention Workshops -Sober extracurricular activities to encourage community support, social skill development, and fun without substances.

Efforts to begin a softball and bowling league are underway.

-Access to a variety of means of support and structure to assist the development of responsibility and accountability. Staff members have many years of professional experience in Substance Abuse and Mental Health as well as personal 12 Step experience. 7 to 10 on property staff members are available during the day, 5-7 on property staff members are available during the evening, and 1-2 AWAKE on property staff members are available over night.

-Once weekly community meeting with food and local 12 Step speakers -Nightly check ins with staff members upon return to property in conjunction with curfew checks -Client Cash Program to assist in budgeting, money management, decreased impulse purchases, and accountability -Daily 8:30AM morning inspiration meetings for those in the process of obtaining work, volunteer, or school -Quantitative and Qualitative Laboratory Drug Test Screenings 2-3 times WEEKLY Royal Recovery Resources helps residents live in the present while making resources available to mend the past. Royal Recovery Resources is a fresh start towards realizing dreams, recreating life, and becoming self-sufficient.

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