The Solution News

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The Solution News Since 1991 November/December 2009

Recovery

Happy, Joyous and Always Free!!

Growth

Renewal


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The Solution News Contents Page 4 - Dave’s Page: Holiday Lessons

Page 23 - Sanity Is Coming To Town

Page 5 - Holiday Resentments

Page 24 - Holiday Blues

Page 6 - Surviving the Holidays

Page 26 - Volunteer Opportunities

Page 7 - Hotlines and Helplines

Page 27 - Volunteer Opportunities

Page 8 - Holiday Thoughts

Page 28 - Thanksgiving Laughs

Page 9 - Watershed Page

Page 30 - Christmas Chuckles

Page 10 & 11 - Events Page

Page 31 - Hanukkah Humor

Page 12 - Mark Lundholm in West Palm

Page 32 - Enough Holidays? Wait T’il January!!

Page 14 - Penelope Love: Everybody’s Doing It

Page 33 - Soda Pop Santa?

Page 15 - Phil C. - It Is What It Is

Page 34 - Chef Lester’s Sober Sideboard

Page 16 - Rebecca B. - The Gift

Page 36 - Is Santa An Alcoholic?

Page 18 - Quitting Smoking

Page 38 - Parting Shots


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Dave’s

Page I put down my last drink in September of 1977. All through the first three months of my sobriety I was obsessed with the thought of how I was going to get through the holidays without a drink. I was told to stay in the moment, to concentrate on the day at hand, to take my days one day at a time. My sponsor told me that for an alcoholic a holiday was just another day. I was far away from my family. The many losses brought on by my disease were magnified tenfold at the holiday season, as was the pain of early recovery. The holidays were the true test of my resolve to stay sober that first year. Experience is a great teacher and some of the greatest lessons in my recovery were learned at that time. I learned about The Fellowship of AA. By staying close to the people in my home group outside the meeting halls, I was able to associate with AA people throughout the holidays. We had Thanksgiving at the home of a newly sober

"Holiday Lessons" couple. They invited several people who had nowhere to be on that day to their home. We all cooked, watched football, talked program and laughed over “war stories”, our common bond. After dinner we went to a meeting and then back to the house for dessert and more coffee and conversation. When I woke up late Friday morning I was surprised to realize that I had made it through the first of the three holidays sober. Christmas taught me how to ask for help. As the day approached I used the meetings to express my growing anxiety about being alone on Christmas. As a result a new friend invited me to his home on Christmas Day. He had seven kids, very little money and was newly sober himself. Yet when the gifts were opened that morning there was one with my name on it. I was absorbed into his family and spent the day putting together toys, playing with his kids and of course going to several meetings. The previous year I had spent alone with a case of beer and a TV dinner. By asking for help I was able to experience the unconditional love offered by my friend and his family. Another holiday had come and gone and I still hadn’t had a drink. New Year’s Eve taught me about getting outside of myself and helping others. In our area it was customary to have “alkathons” which were marathon meetings. The meetings were put on by individual groups each hour and offered food and plenty of coffee. My home group signed up for the midnight time slot on New Year’s Eve at Cambridge City Hospital. About ten of us piled into two cars early that evening. We stopped at a nice restaurant for dinner and then took the hour drive to Cambridge. This inner city meeting was held in a smoke filled, cold basement. There were several hundred people there and the speakers were frequently interrupted by the sound of wine bottles

dropping on the floor. For many of the active winos the sandwiches and relative warmth of the hall represented the total of food and shelter in their lives. Their presence helped me to “remember when” and filled me with gratitude for my newfound gift of sobriety. I had made it through the holidays. I had learned about fellowship, how to ask for help and how to get outside of myself and care for others. Were these holidays “just another day” as my sponsor had suggested or were they, in fact, holiday gifts from my Higher Power? Dave F. 10/2003 It has become a holiday tradition to reprint this article each year and each year it becomes mor meaningful to me. This is especially true this year as my return to New Hampshire and the success after many years of the website solutionnews.org are two more gifts from a loving Higher Power. At this time of year we give thanks on Thanksgiving and gifts on Christmas and Hannukah. This is something those of us working a program do every day. It is especially important to give back what we have been so freely given and as in every holiday issue this year you will find two pages of places to volunteer time or money. I truly believe that if we have our sobriety, our health and our friends and family everything else is just conversation. I am truly blessed this year with all of these things so it is important that I be kind and helpful to those who don’t. May the New Year allow me not to take for granted my gifts and allow me to redouble my efforts at sharing them with those in need. Have a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year and a safe and sober holiday season. --Dave F.


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Let Go of Resentment, Let in the True Spirit of the Holidays Celebrating the holiday season in his drinking days, which lasted over 30 years, Dennis loathed the holidays. "My anxiety began building before Thanksgiving, and by New Year's I was usually drunk, disappointed and angry." As Dennis discovered, expectation and resentment are lethal emotions that fuel an alcoholic's already distorted thinking by providing a false rationale for drinking.

courage to introduce a practice at family dinners that has now become tradition. "We never began the big family dinners with prayer, so it was a little scary for me to suggest a mealtime grace," said Dennis. "But I asked people to take a moment for a simple blessing. I had them repeat each line after me and said: 'We give thanks for being/We give thanks for being here/We give thanks for being here together.' It's

"I expected my family to argue about politics, religion, or whatever when we got together," Dennis said, "and I resented the fact that my parents were teetotalers who I thought sat in judgment of me. So I'd brace myself for holiday gatherings by coming there pretty high. I'd bait the relatives by bringing up topics I knew would push everyone's buttons, and I'd justify my drinking by telling myself my family expected me to be drunk, so why disappoint them?" Dennis has been sober now for almost 20 years, and with recovery came a clarity that has helped him appreciate--even welcome-the holidays and the time he spends celebrating them with his family. Said Dennis: "A light went off for me at a Twelve Step meeting when someone described an expectation as a 'premeditated resentment,' and then said resentment is letting someone live 'rent-free' in your head. Resentments and expectations--unrealistic or otherwise--were handy excuses for numbing myself with alcohol or drugs, but they have no place now in my recovery." It took him several years, but as Dennis got more solid in recovery, he said he worked up the

straightforward and doesn't offend anyone, and it seems to center on us. In my recovery group, we talk a lot about adopting an 'attitude of gratitude.' That's what happens with this little prayer." "KISS" is a popular acronym in recovery groups that means "Keep it simple, sweetheart." This saying, like Dennis' prayer, reminds us to let go of the external stressors and pressures that too often overwhelm us, particularly during the holidays. This year especially, many people are burdened by uncertainty and worry about jobs,

money and the future. Perhaps it is the perfect time to practice "KISSing." Slick marketers encourage us to "shop 'til you drop" during the holidays and would have us believe that more is better and big is better yet. Be daring this year and prove them wrong. "Holiday" comes from an Old-English word meaning "holy day." Instead of spending money that we don't have on gifts people don't really need, maybe we could use those shopping hours to come up with some ideas that ignite the true spirit of the holidays. Who among us would not value a heart-felt letter from a loved one, a poem, a quiet talk with a friend, or some other goodwill gesture more than those slippers or tie we can do without? How many of us can recall laughter-filled times when we went sledding or played a favorite board game with family instead of rushing through a big meal so we can open the mound of holiday presents? Instead of worrying about buying gifts this year, we might try being gifts by doing something special for someone. As Dennis discovered when he gave himself and his family the gift of his recovery, these are the treasures that really matter. These are the gifts that keep on giving.

This article and articles on pages 6 and 12 are from Hezelden’s Alive and Free found on their great website Hazelden.org. Thanks to Halzelden for permission to reprint these articles.

ADVANCED RECOVERY CENTER 1300 Park of Commerce, Delray Beach, FL 33435

Phone: 561-274-7417 Fax: 561-274-8715 TOLL FREE: 1-877-ARC-HOPE “Advanced extended care for the complicated and treatment-resistant addict.�

TO TAKE A VIRTUAL TOUR GO TO: www.arc-hope.net


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All I really need to know (to survive the holidays) I learned at a Twelve Step Meeting group' In the mid-1980s, an essay by Robert Fulghum titled "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" became immensely popular. In it, Fulghum suggests that the world would be a better place if adults still adhered to the lessons they learned as children, like playing fair and sharing. Twelve Step group is like kindergarten for recovering people--a safe place where they learn basic life truths and rules that help keep them sane and sober. Much of this wisdom comes in the form of slogans or sayings that can resonate far beyond the walls of a recovery group meeting. Like Fulghum's list of lessons, Twelve Step teachings can serve as practical reminders to all of us about how to be and act in the world. Some Twelve Step insights can be particularly useful as we approach this holiday season--a time often fraught with stress, family tensions, and unmet expectations. For example, slogans like "Easy does it," "Keep it simple sweetheart (KISS)," "Practice an attitude of gratitude," and alliterations like the "Seven Ts: Take time to think the thing through," remind us to slow down, pare down, and pause before we hurry about, driving ourselves (and no doubt those around us) crazy. Instead of getting caught up in the commercialized version of the holidays, try to recapture the meaning and magic of the season. Make a gift. Better yet, be a gift by doing something special for someone. Sing. Dance. Hug. Visit an elderly person. Write letters telling loved ones what you value most about them. Twelve Step participants are often told, "When you're home by yourself, you're behind enemy lines," or "If you share your pain you cut it in half, if you don't you double it." Others may say, "My head is like a bad neighborhood and I

shouldn't go in there alone." They realize the importance of having a healthy and honest support system--especially during the holidays. They know to develop strategies for situations

that might jeopardize their recovery. Food addicts might eat a healthy meal before going to a holiday party. Alcoholics might ask an AA buddy to accompany them to a place where liquor will be served. Others may opt out of going to a stressful gathering with a dysfunctional family and choose instead to go to a Twelve Step meeting. Recovering folks are also cautious about making New Year's resolutions because they can be recipes for disappointment. As one recovering person put it, "For me, resolutions are about

willpower, but AA has shown me that I can't control everything. Resolutions set you up for ‘if only' thinking. You will yourself to lose weight, for example, thinking that if you do, you will be happy. But I've already spent too many years trying to meet impossible standards of what I thought I was expected to be instead of celebrating and building on who I am." When we learn not to obsess about a goal but instead celebrate the journey, we can better embrace the Twelve Step philosophy of "progress, not perfection." We recognize that we are imperfect beings who move forward one day, one experience, and even one mistake at a time. Twelve Steppers are sometimes reminded to "Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth" or that "Anger is only one letter away from danger"--wise cautions for those of us who might have trouble holding our tongues at a holiday dinner when an irksome relative gets under our skin. Unsettling scenes can often be averted if we embrace another AA saying, "If you can't love everybody today, at least try not to hurt anybody." Ultimately, happy holidays are about making healthy choices, a truism exemplified in a parable sometimes shared at Twelve Step meetings. A Native American grandfather told his grandchild, "Sometimes I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is vengeful, angry, and violent. The other is loving and compassionate." When the grandchild asked which wolf would win the fight, the wise grandfather replied, "The one I feed." Holidays can be laden with chaos, anxiety and anger, or they can be opportunities for authentic connections, spiritual reflection, and joy. Which wolf will you feed this holiday season? The choice is yours.


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Hotlines and Helplines AA BROWARD COUNTY AA FLORIDA KEYS AA HOTLINE, North Palm Beach

954-462-0265 305-296-8654 561-655-5700

DEPRESSION - OVER 55 FAMILY CAREGIVER PROGRAM FLA. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE

954-746-2055 305-292-8445 800-500-1119

AA HOTLINE, South Palm Beach AA HOTLINE Broward

561-276-4581 954-462-0265

FLORIDA BAR LAWYER’S REFERRAL

800-342-8011

FLORIDA HIV/AIDS HOTLINE

800-FLA-AIDS

954-462-7202

FLORIDA INJURY HELPLINE FLORIDA INTERGROUP AA FOOD ADDICTS IN RECOVERY FLORIDA PET GREIF SUPPORT GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS HEPATITIS-B HOTLINE

AA MIAMI DADE

305-371-7784

ABUSE REGISTRY

800-962-2873

ADD PARENTS SUPPORT

954-473-8644

AL ANON HOTLINE, Palm Beach

561-278-3481

AL ANON HOTLINE, Broward AL-ANON/AL-ATEEN

954-491-1915 8884ALANON

ALIEN ABDUCTION SUPPORT GROUP

954-698-6926

ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION

954-726-0002

ALZHEIMER’S COMMUNITY CARE AT RISK YOUTH PROGRAM BIG BROTHERS & SISTERS CAPITOL CITY YOUTH SERVICES

561-278-6649 727-726-8829 561-966-4120 850-576-6000

CATHOLIC DIOCESE OF ORLANDO

407-658-1818

CDC NATIONAL AIDS HOTLINE

800-342-2437

CHILD ABUSE HOTLINE

800-4ACHILD

COCAINE ANONYMOUS CODEPENDENTS ABNONYMOUS CONSUMER HOTLINE COSA (co-dependents of sex addicts) COUNCIL ON COMPULSIVE GAMBLING

954-779-7272 800-254-1333 800-848-3792 763-537-6904 800-426-7711

CRIMESTOPPERS CRIME LINE

800-510-5553 407-276-4581 1-866-325-0500 352-392-4700 800-891-1740 800-891-0707

HEPATITIS HOTLINE HIV/AIDS HOTLINE HOSPICE HOSPICE/HOMECARE BY THE SEA JEWISH FAMILY& CHILD SERV LAWYER ASSISTANCE RECOVERY, INC LUPUS FOUNDATION OF S. FLORIDA MARIJUANA ANON. MIAMI HELPLINES

800-545-2437 800-352-2437 954-467-7423 800-3923189 561-684-8443 800-282-8981 561-642-1722 561-279-8606 800-766-6779 305-358-4357

MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS FOUNDATION

800-441-7055

NTNL. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE NAR-ANON, Broward

800-799-SAFE 954-584-6578

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Palm Beach NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS, Broward

561-848-6262 954-476-9297

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS gold coast

954-476-9297

800-458-TIPS 800-423TIPS

NAT. CTR. ELDERLY ABUSE

800-96-ABUSE

NATIONAL RUNAWAYSWITCHBOARD

800-RUNAWAY

DASH (Divorced and Separated Help)

561-451-2312

NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE

800-SUICIDE

DEBTOR’S ANONYMOUS DEPRESSION & BIPOLAR SUPPORT DEPRESSION AND MANIC DEPRESSION

954.925.4068 813-878-2906 954-746-2055

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER

954-746-2055

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS, Palm Beach

800-273-1696

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS, Broward

954-476-9297

The Solution News 640 Beacon Street, Manchester, NH, 03104

Phone: 561-305-3380

Email: solutionpublishingcompany@gmail.com WEBSITE: solutionnews.org

The Solution is not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous or any other 12 Step Program although our content is directed towards those who have found the 12 Step philosophy to be a significant factor in their lives. The Solution News published by Sobersolution six times a year for people actively working on their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being. We are committed through articles and advertising to provide a broad spectrum of recovery, renewal and growth information. The opinions and facts are those of the writers and contributors. We seek to attract advertisers who represent their products and services with integrity but we urge readers to be wise consumers.


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Holiday Thoughts Thanksgiving

Christmas

The pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts ...nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving. --H. W. Westermayer

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. --Anonymous

We give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way. --ritual chant

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. --Phyllis Diller

What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? --Erma Bombeck

Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles. --Unknown

Got no check books, got no banks. Still I’d like to express my thanks - I got the sun in the mornin’ and the moon at night. --Irving Berlin An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. --Irv Kupcinet The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings! --Henry Ward Beecher Do not get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. --Galatians 6:9 May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs! --Unknown God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends. --Ethel Watts Mumford

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic. --Unknown Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. --Norman Vincent Peale As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same. -- Donald E. Westlake A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing. --Unknown Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart. --Washington Irving A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small. --Eva K. Logue We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. ---Gearge Carlin

On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence. --William Jennings Bryan

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. ---Ambrose Bierce

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. --W.T. Purkiser

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together .-- Garrison Keillor


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RNS & LPNS For Admissions Department We are looking for Florida licensed LPNS and RNS who are friendly & compassionate and able to work with alcoholics and addicts. The hours are a mix of evenings and nights with weekend work involved. We are also looking for an RN to supervise the clinical aspects of the department and work as an integral part of an allied health professional’s team.

Therapists

Behavioral Health Techs

Are you looking for a place where the concept of "team" has deeper meaning? We are looking for caring, insightful therapists who are committed to the highest quality care for our patients and who have the desire to support those who are struggling with addiction. Our facilities offer our patients comfortable and safe surroundings to begin their journey of recovery. The Watershed is Joint Commission accredited and fully licensed by the State of Florida. Our therapists provide individual and group counseling to patients in our inpatient treatment program. The therapist is able to develop a relationship with the patient that begins in detox and lasts throughout the entire length of stay. The therapist functions within the limits of their licensure, registration and/or certification. Graduation from an accredited college or university with a Masters Degree in a health-related discipline; licensed and/or accredited applicants preferred. Experience with chemical dependency and/or dual diagnosis programs preferred. The Watershed welcomes recovering individuals to apply! Recovering individuals must have a minimum of 1 full year of abstinence from drugs/alcohol to eligible for employment.

Are you a caring, compassionate individual? Are you able to provide supervision and support for others in a thoughtful, respectful manner? If you have these qualities we encourage you to apply for a position as a Behavioral Health Technician, (BHT). Our BHT's are directly involved in providing quality care for patients as part of the overall team and are responsible for conducting meetings and providing structure for our patients during their treatment experience. As a BHT you are the frontline staff member, having frequent interactions with the patients throughout their stay. As a result you are in a position to have a positive impact on the patient's view toward recovery. The average day for a BHT involves a variety of activities; there isn't a lot of time spent in one place since our patient's care is conducted in different areas of the facility. The BHT should have a clear sense of personal boundaries and be able to enforce clearly established guidelines. People with their own personal recovery experience are encouraged to apply! Must have a minimum of 12 months of sobriety.

Alumni Coordinators

We are currently seeking hard working, customer service oriented individuals with excellent communication skills to become members of our team. The Call-Back Representatives will work collaboratively with the Admissions Coordinators in order to admit new patients into our treatment facilities. This position involves making follow-up calls to individuals who have previously called The Watershed seeking treatment but were never admitted into our facility. Our goal is to reach out to those who may have avoided treatment in the past and assist them with their struggles of addiction, by offering our treatment services. This position is full-time with some weekends involved & located in our Delray Beach, corporate building.A year or more of 12step recovery experience is very beneficial to anyone working in this position. Prior call-center and/or healthcare experience are a plus!

The Watershed’s newest department is that of the Alumni coordinators! Coordinators main focus is in making contact with ALL of Watershed’s alumni dating back to it’s doors opening in 1998! Through this effort any alumni who may have encountered relapse and needs help can be given a means to get back into their recovery and those who are maintaining recovery can be orientated to our current program which offers a variety of services, activities and opportunities to our alumni & their families.Work hours currently are: Mon.-Fri. 10am to 6pm at our office in Delray Beach. Six months or more of active 12-step recovery is needed and being an alumnus of The Watershed is preferred. Having basic computer & phone skills is a plus.

Call-Back Representatives

The Watershed is a Drug Free Workplace and an Equal Opportunity Employer. For more information, please visit: www.thewatershed.com. To apply, please go to www.thewatershed.jobs.

Calling All Alumni! Are you a graduate of The Watershed Treatment Programs? Do you have an interest in personal growth in your recovery? Would you like to be able to help others, even as you were helped? If the answer to any or all of these questions is "YES", then we want to hear from you! The Watershed has a unique one of a kind Alumni Program that is quite literally filled with events, activities & services for you. It is a place to find support, fellowship and numerous ways for you to be able to reach out and help others. We currently have over 2,500 registered alumni members around the country and we want YOU to be a part of this community! Our Alumni Web Site now has over 800 members. If you would like to learn more, register and become active, go to www.watershedalumni.com to learn more about The Watershed’s Alumni Program. As a member of our web site you will be able to connect with other alumni AND find out more about other Alumni Programs and Events available to you, such as The Life Saver’s Club! You are also able to access pictures, the Alumni Newsletters, contribute to forums and celebrate alumni anniversaries with us! UPDATE: We have EXCITING NEWS!!! Coming around mid-winter, the Alumni Department will actually have a NEW WEBSITE that will be MUCH larger and with far more capabilities than that of our current site. It is under development now and will be run much like Facebook, to allow alumni greater communication ability with each other and more creative freedom to interact and express your own unique individuality. The site will be set up securely with individual areas for "Alumni Only", "Family Only" and then a "Common Area" where everyone can meet and share together. Keep your eyes and ears open for our kick off date! We have the Alumni Speaker Meetings EVERY SATURDAY from 9:30am to 11:30am at BOTH the BOCA and BOYNTON facilities. You MUST have 90 days clean and sober to speak. If you are a new alumnus with less than 90 days in recovery, we have special support meetings just for you! We have ALUMNI SUPPORT and ALUMNI MENTORING meetings at THE WATERSHED APARTMENTS in Lake Worth, FL from 9:30 to 11:30am under the tent by the volleyball court. ALL ALUMNI with less than 90 days should attend. For directions or further information or questions, contact Rebecca Balko at the contact information listed below. Last but not least if you are an alumnus and have an interest in working in the field of addiction recovery and/or in our Alumni Department, The Watershed wants to hear from you! If you are interested in seeking employment you can either contact Rebecca Balko or go directly to our web site at www.thewatershed.com and go to Human Resources to place an "on line" application. We look forward to hearing from you! You can contact Rebecca Balko at: Rbalko@thewatershed.com (or write) 200 Congress Park Dr. Suite 101 Delray Beach, FL 33445 (PHONE: 877-416-9566 ext.8204)


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Events Come Join Us For A Holiday Celebration!

Browse our Unique Holiday Selections.

Tuesday December 1, 2009 2:00 pm to 7:00 p.m. The Serenity Bookstore in the The Hanley Resource Center 933 45th Street, West Palm Beach, FL

20% off Your Entire Purchase

(Excludes professional materials and World Services items)

561-841-1067 Serving Holiday Desserts & Coffee


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Events

Women in Recovery Retreat: February 6-7, 2010 Speaker Meetings Recovery Countdown Drumming Meditations Resentment Releases Indian Feather Circle of Hope Comfortable Chickee Dorms Linen and Pillows Provided

Location: Billie Swamp Safari

Take Alligator Alley , I-75 from Ft. Lauderdale or Naples to Exit 49 then go 19 miles to park entrance

Arrive Saturday at 8:30 AM - Noon Sunday

Includes continental breakfast, lunch and dinner and Sunday continental breakfast.

Cost $100.00 Dr. Darlene Silvernail PO Box 18745,West Palm Beach, FL 33426

561-396-0362


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Comedian Mark Lundholm bringing his 12-Step humor to Hanley Resource Center "A funny, thrilling journey— extremely funny and moving, and when it's over, you wish it would go on for just a little bit longer." —Oakland Tribune “YOU’LL LAUGH YOUR HEAD OFF! One of the best comedians I’ve ever seen. A masterful job. Don’t miss it!” —KGO Radio Called “riveting” by The New York Times, comedian Mark Lundholm comes to Hanley Center on Wednesday, December 2 and Thursday, Dec. 3, for two nights of “12-Step Humor” – Wednesday night, the “Before” stories and Thursday night, the “After” stories. Presented by Hanley Center, Lundholm offers a unique comedy perspective of addiction and recovery based on his own experiences. Lundholm has appeared on Comedy Central, his own Showtime Special and received rave reviews for his one-man offBroadway show, Addicted – a comedy of substance. Since 1988, Lundholm has performed in 49 states and five foreign countries. From the Improv Comedy Clubs, to the White House, to the Betty Ford Center, to San Quentin State Prison. He has written comedy material for TV pilots and nationally known celebrities. Excerpt from 2002 Miami Herald profile: Lundholm morphed from an attention-challenged kid he calls ''Ritalin Boy,'' part of a family so dysfunctional that he chooses ''evil'' to describe life at home in the '60s, into a drug addict, dealer and alcoholic. He did jail time, met and married a woman named Sharon, had a beautiful baby girl named Courtney, then disappeared onto the streets of Oakland, where he lived in a series of cardboard boxes when he wasn't doing drugs and deals. . .His maybethis-isn't-working moment came when he broke into a room at a sleazy motel, gazed at a picture of his months-old baby girl and put the barrel of a loaded gun in his mouth. The gun jammed. He looked again at Courtney's picture, then went to rehab. It finally took. Lundholm’s appearance at the Hanley Resource Center will benefit Hanley Center’s Lifesaver Patient Aid Fund. This special fund provides vital financial assistance to those seeking treatment for alcoholism or chemical dependency but are unable to afford treatment due to limited financial resources or restrictions on insurance coverage. Over the years, hundreds of people have received treatment thanks to this special fund.


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Recovery Bulletin Board Pat’s Cleaning Service No Job Too Big or Small

Patricia Drummond Owner

Fort Lauderdale, Florida 954-687-3292 patriciadrummond@comcast.net

The BEACHCOMBER Family Center For The Treatment Of Alcoholism and Drug Addiction 4493 North Ocean Boulevard Delray Beach, FL 33483 Telephone: 561-734-1818 From Broward County: 421-6226 From South Palm Beach County: 276-6226

JOSEPH R. BRYAN, Director


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Penelope Love

Everybody’s Doing It

It's so utterly ironic that while growing up, I swallowed the idea that if everybody did something, then it just wasn't worth doing-an attitude born of my parents' insistence that, given their unique combination of Irish-Italian genes, I should strive to be more, better and different from the crowd. For more than two decades, I listened to this nonsense, before anxiety attacks awakened me to an uncommon bliss … but not before my body had begun to struggle with the most primal function of every body-breath.

learned "square breathing" (4 seconds for inhale, hold breath for 4 seconds-exhale for 4 seconds and retain air out of lungs for 4 seconds after the exhale). Now, I'm certain this helped me to temporarily suppress feelings of road rage on my daily commute, yet this and any breathing techniques involving counting, measuring or quantifying are engaging the intellect, which simply cannot be present when you're absorbed in the state of mind-less ecstasy. This transcendent bliss arises when your breath touches your center-and you consequently feel your center to be everywhere. And in the words of Buzz Lightyear, you go "To infinity and beyond!"

I'd be willing to bet that during the most joyful moments of your life, you were either breathing deeply or riding the verge of a profound inhale. In fact, I almost began this article with: "One time at band camp…" because as a flute player, I always felt my body about to burst with passion with each practice and performance. Little did I realize, the secret key to ecstasy lay not with the hunky baritone player marching in the line behind me, Now for the key: Each breath has two significant points-one where breath but in my very own breath flowing within me. With the conscious realizatouches you viscerally inside your body, and the other where it tickles that tion of this, I am again transported to the very ecstasy that has been and transcendent aspect of you within the cosmos. Most are intimately famil- forever will be … what a blessed life! iar with the first point; yet few know of the latter. And no matter how much relaxation the first point of breath may bring you, it is through So now it's your turn. In lieu of the re-run holiday dinner table chatter this knowing the second that you are truly transformed and enter the blissful year, you might attune your attention to exchanging tales of life's realm of eternal life. Why? Because this pause between the exhale and moments that once took your breath away. Perhaps you can begin by sharinhale is a portal beyond the mind and the story of who you always ing your favorite moment, speaking with feeling in as few words as posthought you are. To enter through this gateway, all that is required is to sible to express your reverence for life. Then ask others to share theirs. desire joy-and thus, in a single conscious breath, the pillars of illusion Listen deeply and drink in one another's joyous nectar. Utilize your most passionate "took my breath away" stories to spread this simple key to crumble, revealing the heavenly ecstasy within. ecstasy throughout your family and among friends. Everyone will be merYou have taken many breaths in life, so how can it be that simple? You rier for it. For in being conscious of breath, we become conscious of life's have traveled there before and still have never seen the Promised Land. blessings … and 'tis always the season to be jolly. ************************** How come? Penelope Love instructs tantra internationally and is located in San Because many yogas and exercise practices systematize breathing for Gerardo de Dota, Costa Rica. Share your intimate relationship concerns other purposes, to achieve limited goals within a confined context. I once confidentially with Penelope@OpenHeartTantra.com Take a deep one, because I'm now going to reveal the secret connection between bliss and your breath, a function so close to us that it's generally overlooked. This is important, because as you increase your awareness of breath, you will discover an ecstasy so sublime that it will supercharge all your relationships and your love of life beyond your wildest dreams!


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Phil C.

“It Is What It Is”

I remember when I first got sober I used to absolutely despise those words. Every time something would come up as an obstacle in my path, I would call someone in the program and their response almost every time was: "It is what it is." Aaarrrggggghhhh!!! Every time! What were they talking about? And what did they know? I was dealing with something very serious at the time, and all they could tell me was a cheap, senseless little saying like: "It is what it is?"

As the past few years went by, I have realized that there was also more to it than just my responsibility in these tasks. In fact, it went way beyond that. I was able to see that it was more about the fact that life's results weren't really my business. All I was to be concerned with was getting up, getting ready and showing up. The rest was really in the Universe's hands.

Now I see a lot of little things come up almost every day. It's like we gain That first year, I faced many little challenges while living in a sober a heightened sense of awareness as we go along. And with that awareness, we can either move forhouse. One time I missed the ward or move backwards. bus to go to work. One of the main things I learned in the It seems like every time I get in treatment center was to ask the car these days, I catch every for help when trouble arose. light. Maybe it's only when I So naturally, I picked up the don't leave on time. Or maybe phone and called someone to it's because Someone is protecttell them of my dilemma. ing me from an accident up the And you guessed it - they told road. me the same old thing. I asked them: "What does that It seems like there isn't enough mean? I am going to be late time in the day, every day. for work! And I have to work Maybe it's only when I don't set to pay my bills!" And their realistic goals for myself. Or response was: "It will be maybe it's because Something is what it will be." Boy! Was protecting me by keeping me that a shock to hear! I busy (and out of my crazy head.) thought they were there to It seems like I sometimes don't help me. Little did I know, they were telling me exactly what I needed to hear and teaching me just have enough. Maybe it's only when I don't work hard enough that day. Or maybe it's because Somewhere along the way I failed to reflect back what I needed to learn. on everything I have been blessed with thus far. I was later able to better understand what they meant by that trite statement. To my relief, I was finally able to wrap my head around the fact So long as I get up every day, work or play as though there is no tomorthat I wasn't in charge of the outcomes in life. Rather, it was my obliga- row, and keep my feet pointed in the right direction - things are surely tion in recovery to put myself in better positions to accomplish those nec- going to work out - just like they are supposed to. The results aren't up to essary tasks. So if I wanted to make sure that I was on time, it was my me. Thank Goodness! Either way, life isn't always what it seems. I find responsibility to allow enough preparation time and arrive to the bus stop myself reminding myself that: "It is what it is." And one thing is for certain: "It will be what it will be." in a timely fashion.

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Rebecca B.

Gazing upward I watched the window above our bed, as the bushes just on the other side scratched and tapped against the pane of glass. The wind made a light howling moan that normally would have caused me to drift off into a deep sleep. However, not this night – for on this night I was consumed with the excitement and anticipation that went far beyond my six year old ability to control. I stood on the tip of my toes in the bed for what must have been the tenth time. My hands and face pressed eagerly against the glass as I strained to look as far as I could to the left and as far as I could to the right. The cold felt so good against my skin as the faint smell of chimney smoke made its way from outside the window into my nostrils. I was fascinated with the prints created by the heat radiating from my tiny hands as they were pressed against the glass. Likewise I would watch with endless amazement, as the fog caused by my breath, would appear and then disappear. It was all just too much to take in: With my heart pounding and my mind racing, it was then that I heard her - my older sister… “Rebecca!!” she said, “Lay down! He won’t come at all unless you go to sleep.” Realizing that she was right… there were after all, rules that had to be followed! It was all I needed to hear. Quickly I slid back under the covers, pulling them up tightly beneath my chin, trying desperately to make myself sleep. But it was SO hard! What would be there when I woke up? Would it be the gift I wanted? Could it be even better than what I wanted? You see tonight was the single most important night in the history of the whole world –for tonight was the night that Santa would come!!!

The Gift remember my dad laughing as I would agonize over which tree was the “perfect” tree. Upon arriving home we would begin the best part of all – DECORATING! Daddy would first put the lights on the tree. Waiting for him to finish was next to impossible. Once we got the “go ahead” my sister and I would then delicately take each ornament, (many of which represented years of history in our family), and search out the best place for them to hang. The finishing touch would be the tinsel that we got to spread all over

the tree. Once this was done Mom would put the star on top and we would turn everything off but the tree lights. The way the light reflected off the tinsel and metallic glass ornaments into the room was like magic! With each passing day, there would be more mystery and amazement as new presents would appear both under or actually in the tree, just waiting to be found. The week leading up to Christmas meant being out of school, playing all day and watching Christmas shows at night like “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer”; “Miracle on 34th Street” and “Frosty the Snow Man” But the best part of all was sneaking over to that magical tree when no one was watching, to touch and shake the beautifully wrapped presents that bore my name!

Everything about Christmas made me happy. Watching all the things my mom did leading up to that day was nothing short of amazing! Our home would be filled with the smell of cinnamon and apple cider. She would decorate each room with various holiday items, strategically placing the “Christmas Mouse” for my sister and me to try and search out. Every room would possess a sweet aroma, as she prepared with love, various snacks of all sorts - including chocolate fudge, peanut brittle and my all time favorite - Buttermilk Fudge! It was absolutely Looking back on these memories causes my melt in your mouth good! mind to wander. The past is funny isn’t it? Memories from so long ago, yet flooding back Going out with my Dad to find that, “just right” into my consciousness as if they just happened. Christmas tree was always a wonderful adven- Another memory that comes to me is of my ture. I loved holding his hand as we walked, very first 12-step meeting. I was taken from the with the smell of pine filling the air around us. It hospital to the church it was held in. Waiting by created a feeling within me, that everything the door for our driver to take us in, overcome about life in that moment was good. I can by feelings of both excitement and trepidation, I

peered through the window, looking around as much as I could. With a rush of emotion my heart began pounding, my mind racing; I turned to go and then heard him, “Alright folks! Let’s head in!” I did NOT want to go in and had made a feeble attempt to stand my ground. He leaned down to me and said, “There are actions you will have to take if you want to live. Many wonderful things lie ahead of you, but you will not be able to get them unless you take the first step.” Deep inside of me I knew that what he said was the truth and I desperately wanted those “wonderful things” that he mentioned. As we entered into the basement of that church the aroma of coffee and cookies filled the air. As we were shown our seats I watched all the different people who were performing various jobs. It was amazing to see because they all just seemed so…happy. Throughout the meeting I heard people share about where they had come from, what they were going through and all the things that were changing in their life. My heart began pounding and my mind racing, however this time for a different reason. I wanted what they had. I thought, “Will it happen for me?”, “Would it be the life I desired to have?”, “Could it be even better than I hoped for?” You see this night was the single most important night in the history of the whole world – for on this night I would begin the journey into a new life that I could not even begin to fathom. As that first meeting came to a close, everyone got in a circle and held hands. Within myself I was filled with a feeling of warmth, and everything about life in that moment was good. With newly found vigor and zeal I approached treatment and recovery. I wanted it so much! It was all I could think about. I got a sponsor and wanted everything to happen fast! Waiting for her to give me step work was next to impossible. With each passing day there was more mystery and amazement as new truths were revealed while still others were just waiting to be found. But the best part of all came when I was given my medallion – The one I had touched so many times when I thought no one was looking. It represented something I could not have grasped in the beginning… that of a gift freely given to those who would have it and the promise of a new and amazing life. (Rebecca B) BeccainBham@aol.com


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The Watershed WELCOMES YOU to become a member of our newest and most innovative program yet‌.............. THE LIFE SAVER'S CLUB!!! In its most condensed definition - The Life Saver's Club is a service that allows its members, (YOU), the tools and support to help those people in your life currently caught in the grips of the progressive and fatal disease of addiction‌to get the very life saving help that they need. Along with this, the Life Saver's Club will also provide its members, (YOU), with services and information to benefit your life and enable us to recognize you and thank you for the efforts put forth in saving the life of another. The Watershed desires to have (YOU) become a part of this ground breaking, one of a kind opportunity. Because of this, becoming a member is fast and easy! Simply go to our web site:www.watershedalumni.com - and click on the (Life Saver logo). You will then be prompted to a registration form to complete and then click "submit". It's just that simple! As a member you will have resources to begin accessing information for support, to answer questions and enable you in your efforts to help others get the assistance that they need. Upon registering, you will receive a packet with information, Life Saver's Club Assistance cards to aid you in helping others and a gift just for joining! There is also a gift for making referrals, and in the event your referral comes in to the Watershed for treatment - A brick with you name will be placed at a designated site at our Palm Beach facility, to memorialize a life that has been saved. (On the Life Saver's Club site you will be able to see the names of our members, those who've made referrals and those who will have been a part of saving a life.) If the person you are trying to help is someone that will not be able to come in to treatment at The Watershed, no worries! We have a full time Resource Staff that will be ready to help that person locate treatment in their area that will fit into whatever budget or financial situation they may have. The Watershed cares about those suffering and desires to help them in whatever way possible. To refer someone for help there are several options: You can call "with them" to #1-877-97-LIVES; You can call "for them" to get things started or simply provide them with the Life Saver's Club Assistance Card that you will receive. You do NOT have to be an Alumnus of The Watershed to join. The Life Saver's Club is open to anyone that wishes to be a part of saving the lives of individuals caught in the grips of addiction. We look forward to hearing from YOU soon!


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A Life Saving Gift to Yourself: Quitting Smoking My name is Greg Seward and I am privileged to bring the message of addressing tobacco and nicotine dependence in recovery from other addictions. Most people who smoke and use other forms of tobacco believe that using it is bad for your health and that with long-term use they might develop problems such as lung cancer or emphysema. Did you know that both Bill W. and Dr. Bob both were smokers and died from smoking? Bill W: “A heavy, sloppy smoker all his ife, he developed emphysema in the 1960s. It killed him. He gave his last speech to the International AA Convention in Miami in 1970, lifted to the platform in a wheelchair, gasping for breath and sucking oxygen from the tank that was always withhim.”(Robertson: Inside Alcoholics Anonymous) In addition to health risks there are other reasons to look at your smoking and address it – even to look towards and plan a quit attempt. Financial: The financial costs really add up. Some brands in some states approach nearly $10 a pack. Even at one pack per day that adds up to $70 a week, $300 a month or $3,650 a year. Think of the other things you could do with that money: Pay off bills; pay for a cell phone, cable, and internet each month; take your spouse out to dinner each week; the new car payment; start a college fund, etc. The tobacco companies don’t want you to think about that – they want you to think that the cost per day is not that bad – but it really is bad! Health of others around you – family, friends: The real health dangers of second hand smoke have been well documented. New research is coming out about the risks of third-hand smoke (what you smell on someone after they smoked). Did you know that second hand smoke kills well over 40,000 Americas each year, including a 20to 30-percent increase in the risk of lung cancer from secondhand smoke exposure associated with living with a smoker? Simply having a window open and an exhaust fan on does not eliminate this risk. Health of pets: Veterinarians report that smoking is harmful to cats, dogs, and birds in your home and leads to serious health problems Improve your chances of long-term sobriety from alcohol and other drugs: Research has studied the impact of smoking and of quitting on recovery from other substances: * Tobacco dependence interventions during addictions treatment enhanced long-term addic-

tion abstinence by 25% and more are short-term The 7 medications approved by the FDA for treatment for Nicotine Dependence are: tobacco abstinent * When looking at relapse to alcohol there Nicotine Patch * Over the Counter (OTC) was no difference among treatment groups; * Comes in three strengths – 21mg, 14mg, Smoking status not related to relapse and 7mg (Prochaska JJ, et al. 2004) Nicotine Gum Employment: * OTC Employers of many types are beginning to * Comes in 2 strengths – 4mg and 2mg address tobacco use in the workplace, and for Nicotine Lozenge health, financial, insurance, productivity, and * OTC other reasons they are restricting the use of * Comes in 2 strengths – 4mg and 2mg tobacco in buildings and grounds Hospitals, Nicotine Inhaler * Prescription (Rx) required form your doctor or health care provider. Nicotine Nasal Spray * Rx needed Wellbutrin (Zyban / Bupropion) * Rx needed Chantix (Varenicline / Champix) * Rx needed Group support is often the cornerstone of any recovery program. Information including meeting times and location can be found on their website – including information on how to start a Nic-A meeting. Have you heard of Nicotine-Anonymous (NicA)? schools, colleges and universities, even town Nicotine Anonymous is a Non-Profit 12 Step dumps and recycling centers are adopting Fellowship of men and women helping each smoke-free and tobacco-free campuses. other live nicotine-free lives. Nicotine Anonymous welcomes all those seeking freeThey know that: dom from nicotine addiction, including those * male smokers miss 3.9 more days of work using cessation programs and nicotine withper year than non-smoking males drawal aids. The primary purpose of Nicotine * Female smokers miss an additional 2.1 days Anonymous is to help all those who would like of work per year. to cease using tobacco and nicotine products in * Workplace smoking-cessation programs any form. The Fellowship offers group support reduce health care costs, absenteeism costs, on- and recovery using the 12 Steps as adapted from the-job productivity losses and life insurance Alcoholics Anonymous to achieve abstinence costs. from nicotine. * Workplace restrictions on smoking have been found to be effective in reducing smoke www.nicotine-anonymous.org exposure. Quitlines: The Best Way to Quit: Quitlines are telephone-based tobacco cessation The combination of FDA-approved medication services that help tobacco users quit. Services plus counseling seems to produce the best offered by quitlines include coaching and counchance of success. However some people have seling, referrals, mailed materials, training to found success with other ways including taper- healthcare providers, Web-based services and, ing off of cigarettes or simply going “cold- in some instances, free medications such as turkey”. Some also have found that the ongoing nicotine replacement therapy (NRT). The support of a 12-Step group like Nicotine- national quitline can be reached via the internet Anonymous (Nic-A) to be most helpful in their address below or by calling 1-800-QUIT-NOW. recovery form tobacco and nicotine dependence. www.naquitline.org Most of the FDA-approved medications are taken over the course of 8-12 weeks or even In my next post I will drill down into more of the successful methods of quitting – see you then! longer.


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Sanity Is Coming To Town I looked at myself And what did I see? A little old elf As drunk as could be, Sanity is coming to town. Then I said to this man, “Can’t you help yourself? You’d better understand You’re gonna be a dead elf.” Sanity is coming to town. So I checked into a center. Treatment was their main event. Sitting there upon the hot seat. Oh, my life was poorly spent. Oh, it’s How it Works That’s keeping me dry. But it’s conscious contact That’s getting me high. Sanity is coming to town. Serenity Prayer And Think, Think, Think. If I didn’t care I’d drink, drink, drink. Sanity is coming to town.

Oh, I went to hear a speaker; A drunkalog it was, A problem child turned seeker Who was looking for a cause. You wanna forgive, Gotta Live and Let Live. If intolerance slips, You’ll get a lot of white chips. Sanity is coming to town. Get some gratitude that You’ll never regret; Forgetting solitude Gets better, you bet! Sanity is coming to town. I want what you have abruptly. It must be good, of course, To forget my moral bankruptcy And my thirty-third divorce. With a little white chip, Red, yellow, and blue. Hope you never slip, But we’ll still love you. Sanity is coming to town.

Oh, I like to think I’m perfect, Serene in every way, But when I get no paycheck I just live from day to day.

It’s telephone calls, It’s marathon talks, Lots of meeting halls and walking the walk. Sanity is coming to town.

When you’re hurting with hate Humility’s great; A little Fourth Step It’s never too late. Sanity is coming to town.

I know when I was drinking I did not do too well. It screwed up all my thinking; And I always felt like...heck.

Character defects We have to reject Attempts to perfect And desires to project. Sanity is coming to town.

Anonymity’s the law; Don’t tell us your name. Who you saw, Or that you came. Sanity is coming to town.

My sponsor said, “I’ll phone ya In hopes you’re doing all right. Unless you’ve got pneumonia, Go to meetings both day and night.”

I’ll speak up at a meeting And tell ‘em the truth, How I took a beating From my gin and vermouth. Sanity is coming to town.

Oh, it’s How it Works, One Day at a Time. Wisdom and courage Just wasn’t my line. Sanity is coming to town.

Oh, I like to read my Big Book And they say that that’s okay. I wanna get a new look Living only day by day.

I made up a list Of all my amends. It’s a wonder at last I’ve got any friends. Sanity is coming to town.

I gave up my beer, Said goodbye to my rum. I’d soon have a year No longer a bum. Sanity is coming to town.

What we were and What we are; If you want what we have You’re gonna go far. Sanity is coming to town. I do my meditation Almost each and every day. It’s better than medication And the price I’d have to pay. Shortcomings removed, And the meetings behooved Me, to get a new start On this broken-down heart. Sanity is coming to town. Intitutions and jails I have to relate; Hospitalization was my fate. Sanity is coming to town. They say that sanity’s coming To town this very night That’s baffling and cunning ‘Cause my mind’s never been too right. Rarely have we seen Anyone fail, Keeping you clean And outta the jail. Sanity is coming to town. Not hungry, angry, Lonely, tired. Vodka, Sherry, Not desired Sanity is coming to town. When you wake up in the a.m. Let you knees first hit the floor. Put an end to all the mayhem, And the things that made you poor. What and order, you say, Can’t do it alone. And I’m gonna be stoned. Sanity is coming to town. Keep it simple, you guys. Easy Does It, no lies. You gotta realize

Fantasizing ain’t wise. Sanity is coming to town. So, here it is, December. Holidays sure make me blue. I’ll have to just remember: “Keep it Simple” will see me through. Principles before Personality. No keeping score On the others you see. Sanity is coming to town. I looked at the promises And said, “Oh gee, Do they come true?” Yes, eventually. Sanity is coming to town. I know that when I get there, When my life has been eclipsed, Bill W. will be in the Big Chair, Dr. Bob will be doing the chips. Christmas Marathon fun, Mini-marathon too, Come dance with your hon Bring a covered dish too. Sanity is coming to town. It gets better, you see, One Day at a Time. With help from H.P., You’re gonna be fine.Sanity is coming to town. --Tom. C.


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Tips For Preventing the Holiday Blues, Staying Sober Most people know the holidays can be a period of emotional highs and lows. Loneliness, anxiety, happiness and sadness are common feelings, sometimes experienced in startling succession. The bad news is the holiday blues can trigger relapse for people recovering from alcoholism and other drug addiction. The good news is the blues can be remedied by planning ahead.

Good self-care is vital. Remember to slow down. Take some quiet time each day and work on an attitude of gratitude. Plan relaxation and meditation into your day, even for a few minutes, no matter how busy you are. Relax your standards and reduce overwhelming demands and responsibilities.

Focus on your recovery program. Holidays are also an important time to focus on your recovery program. For example, ask, "What am I working on in my program now?" Discuss this with your sponsor.

Why do the blues hit during this otherwise festive season? Doing too much or too little and being separated from loved ones at this special time can lead to sadness during the holiday season. Many recovering people associate the holidays with memories of overindulgence, perhaps of big benders that resulted in relationship problems or great personal losses. People experience feelings of melancholy, sadness and grief tied to holiday recollections. Unlike clinical depression, which is more severe and can last for months or years, those feelings are temporary, says Sue Hoisington, a licensed psychologist and executive director of Hazelden's Mental Health Centers. Anyone experiencing major symptoms of depression, such as persistent sadness, anxiety, guilt or helplessness; changes in sleep patterns; and a reduction in energy and libido, should seek help from a trusted mental health professional, she adds. Whether you're in recovery or not, Hoisington suggests developing a holiday plan to help prevent the blues, one that will confront unpleasant memories before they threaten your holiday experience. Your plan should include improved self-care, enhanced support from others, and healthy ways to celebrate. Hoisington offers a few suggestions to achieve a happy, sober holiday season:

attend celebrations of your Twelve Step group. Avoid isolation and spend time with people you like who are not substance users. Don't expose yourself to unnecessary temptations, such as gatherings where alcohol is the center of entertainment. If there are people who have a negative influence on you, avoid them.

Don't overindulge. Go easy on the holiday sweets and follow a balanced diet. Monitor your intake of caffeine, nicotine and sugar. Exercise regularly to help maintain your energy level amid a busier schedule. Don't try to do too much. Get plenty of sleep. Fatigue is a stressor. Maintain some kind of schedule and plan ahead; don't wait until the last minute to purchase gifts or prepare to entertain. Enhance your support system. Holidays are a good time to reach out more frequently to your therapist, sponsor, spiritual advisor, or support group. If you're in recovery, spend time with fellow recovering people. Let others help you realize your personal limits. Learn to say "no" in a way that is comfortable for you. Find new ways to celebrate. Create some new symbols and rituals that will help redefine a joyful holiday season. You might host a holiday gathering for special recovering friends and/or

Release your resentments. Resentment has been described as allowing a person you dislike to live in your head, rent-free. Resentments that gain steam during the holidays can be disastrous for anyone, especially recovering people. The Big Book of "Alcoholics Anonymous" refers to resentment as the No. 1 offender, or the most common factor in failed sobriety. Holidays may also be a time to evaluate your spirituality and find a personal way to draw support from the spirit of the season. Return the holidays to a spiritual base, and stress the power of unselfish giving. Recovery is serious work, but it is also important to have fun. Laugh a little and a little more. Start seeing the humor in those things that annoy you. Take from the holiday season what is important for you and leave the rest.

This article and articles on pages 5 and 6 are from Hazelden’s Alive and Free found on their great website Hazelden.org. Thanks to Halzelden for permission to reprint these articles.


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The Solution Directory

A CHRIST CENTERED 12 STEP PROGRAM Every Tuesday 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm RSVP for Free Childcare New Children’s Recovery Celebration Station nrunhaar@FUMCBocaRaton.org FUMC,625 Mizner Blvd., Boca Raton, FL 33432


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Volunteer Adopt-A-Family of the Palm Beaches needs thrift-store volunteers from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays; a data-entry assistance for a minimum of three hours each week Mondays through Thursdays; and a telephone receptionist from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Wednesdays. Call (561) 253-1361, Ext. 108.

Comprehensive AIDS Program of Palm Beach County needs a dedicated, energetic volunteer to coordinate volunteer efforts, recruit volunteers, conduct training, maintain paperwork and explore volunteer opportunities that will help gain exposure for the agency. Call (561) 472-3022, Ext. 234. Comprehensive Alcoholism Rehabilitation Program needs volunteers to answer phones, make appointments and assist with filing, data entry and copying. Call (561) 844-6400, Ext. 228. Daily Bread Food Bank, the South Florida affiliate of America's Second Harvest and a member of the Florida Association of Food Banks, needs volunteers to sort food and help with administrative tasks and special events. For information, call (561) 659-5070.

A.G. Holley State Hospital is looking for volunteers to help with patient Edward J. Healey Rehabilitation and Nursing Center needs volunteers activities, including arts and crafts, and help in the library and with outto assist residents during activities, social programs and outings. ings. Volunteers also are needed for clerical tasks. Call (561) 540-3336. Volunteer hours are days, some evenings and weekends. Please contact (561) 842-6111, Ext. 2910, or (561) 842-6111, Ext. 2415. Alzheimer's Community Care is seeking volunteers, senior companions and interns to work in various Palm Beach County locations. Volunteer opportunities include working with patients in dementia-specific day-care Florence Fuller Child Development Centers needs teacher assistants programs; facilitating support groups for caregivers; and supporting the from 8 to 11:30 a.m. Mondays through Fridays, and volunteers at the thrift shop to sort merchandise, assist customers and run registers. Call (561) office staff. Call (800) 394-1771. 391-7274 or (561) 391-9379. Arthur Marshall R. Foundation is looking for volunteers to solicit donations and assist in the planning and preparation of its annual live Seagull Industries for the Disabled needs part-time volunteers at the fund-raising auction and reception. To volunteer, call (561) 805-8733, or West Palm Beach and Greenacres thrift stores. Call (561) 433-5553. visit www.artmarshall.org Guatemalan-Maya Center needs volunteers to work with children Big Brothers Big Sisters needs mentors. Call (561) 966-4120. between the ages of 5 and 12 in the after-school programs in Lake Worth Caridad Center needs doctors and dentists licensed in Florida who can and Boynton Beach. Hours are 2-5 p.m. Call (561) 547-0085. volunteer their time a few hours each month. Also needed are interpreters Habitat for Humanity of Palm Beach County is in need of a Tuesday and clerical volunteers. Call (561) 853-1621. morning office volunteer. Weekday volunteers also are needed for build The Children's Place at Home Safe needs volunteers to assist staff with sites (8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Wednesdays through Fridays.) Please call (561) mentoring, tutoring, outdoor activities, holding babies and household 833-9665. chores. Call (561) 832-6185, Ext. 210.


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Opportunities The Haven in Boca Raton is needs adult volunteers to mentor adolescent Mounts Botanical boys in the residential group home. Call (561) 483-0962. Garden needs volunteers to assist with speHearts and Hope needs volunteers on professional and clerical levels to cial events, in the gift provide support for children ages 3 to 17 and their families who have shop, with gardening and experienced the death of a loved one. Call (561) 832-1913. as your guides. Call (561) 233-1755. Hospice by the Sea needs fund-raising volunteers to help with special events. Call (561) 416-5007. Palm Beach County Animal Care & Control Hospice of Palm Beach County volunteers are needed to visit with in West Palm Beach patients in their homes, nursing homes, assisted-living facilities and inpa- needs volunteers to assist tient units. Other opportunities include office and clerical support, help- in feeding, walking and ing in one of our three resale shops, or at fairs and events. Call (561) 227- socializing with aban5167. doned and/or lost pets For more information or to register for orientation, call (561) 233-1281. John D. MacArthur Beach State Park needs volunteers to drive the tram, work in the gift shop and lead tours and educational programs. Call Palm Beach County Literacy Coalition is looking for volunteers to tutor (561) 624-6952. adults who need reading, English and GED help; and provide reading enrichment for school children. Please call (800) 273-1030. Joseph L. Morse Geriatric Center is seeking volunteers to assist its residents by transporting residents to activities and appointments; leading Palm Beach Harvest needs volunteers to give administrative support and activities and entertainment programs; for office and clerical assistance; transport food. Call (561) 689-4090. and for help in the dining room. Call (561) 687-5871. Palm Beach Medical Auxiliary is seeking volunteers for all positions. Just Checking Program needs volunteers to help the homebound with Please call (561) 694-7222. visits, phone calls and chores. Call (561) 540-5651. Quantum House needs volunteers Mondays through Saturdays to assist The Lord's Place needs retail assistants at thrift stores, receptionists, families of children receiving medical care and to help manage the house. apartment assistants, helpers at shelters in West Palm Beach and Boynton Duties include answering phones, sorting mail and welcoming new famiBeach, and servers at Cafe Joshua. Call (561) 494-2811, Ext. 140. lies. Please call (561) 494-0515. Loxahatchee River Historical Society in Jupiter needs tour guides and Renaissance Learning Center, a charter school for children with autism volunteers to answer the phone, work in the museum store and take ages 3 to 14, is in need of volunteers to assist teachers in classrooms. Call admissions. Call (561) 747-6639. (561) 776-0961. Mental Health Association of Palm Beach County is seeking volunteers Riviera Beach Family Resource Center is seeking volunteer tutors to for the Widowed Persons Support Group, Listen to Children Program, assist local students, grades 3 through 12, with homework and FCAT Children's Prevention Program, Beacon Center School Program and preparations. Call (561) 840-1888. Drop-in Center. Call (561) 832-3755.


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Thanksgiving Laughs Thanksgiving Weather Forecast

Thanksgiving Divorce

In the pre-Thanksgiving rush, we have received an early weather report from our in-house weather reporters. This is one, you should be sure to email your Mom. Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

Eddie in Dallas calls his son in New York just before Thanksgiving and tells him, 'I am sorry to tell you but your mother and I are going to be divorcing. I just cannot take any more of her moaning. We can't stand the sight of each other anymore.' I am telling you first, Eddie, because you are the eldest, please tell your sister.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy. A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.

When Eddie calls his sister Julie, she says: 'No way are they getting divorced, I will go over and see them for Thanksgiving.' Julie phones here parents and tells them both 'You must NOT get divorced. Promise you won't do anything until I get over there. I'm calling Eddie, and we'll both be there with you tomorrow. Until then, don't take any action, please listen to me', and hangs up. The father puts down the phone and turns to his wife and says. 'Good news' he says, 'Eddie and Julie are coming for Thanksgiving and they are both paying their own way.

Top Ten Signs You've Eaten Too Much At Thanksgiving Dinner (David Letterman)

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By 10. Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish around you. left will be the bone.

Things to Do to Liven Up Thanksgiving Dinner

9. Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.

1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it 8. You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table. earth's axis. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake. 7. Right this minute you're laughing up pie on the carpet. 2. When everyone goes around to say what they are Thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to say 6. You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid-July. anything more. 5. World's fattest man sends you a telegram, warning you to 3. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the "back off!" VCR when Dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two minutes of the game. When he comes into the room, turn 4. CBS tells you to lose weight or else. off the VCR and turn on the regular TV. 3. Getting off your couch requires help from the fire depart4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive ment. conditions known to exist at turkey farms. 2. Every escalator you step on immediately grinds to a halt. 5. During mid-meal turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the Turkey was past expiration 1. You're sweatin' gravy. date. You were worried for nothing."


29

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Christmas Chuckles Merger of Christmas and Hanukkah

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years. While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Hanukkah was becoming prohibitive for both sides. By combining forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Chrismukah, as the new holiday is being called.

Christmas Memo To All Employees From Management Subject Office conduct during the Christmas season Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council). Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill) Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."

Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit. As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience.

Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.

Also, instead of translating to "A great miracle happened there," the message on the dreydl will be the more generic "Miraculous stuff happens." In exchange, it is believed that Jews will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying and delivering their gifts.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.

One of the sticking points holding up the agreement for at least three hundred years was the question of whether Jewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa even after having eaten meat for dinner. A breakthrough came last year, when Oreos were finally declared to be Kosher. All sides appeared happy about this.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheeldrive vehicles."

A spokesman for Christmas, Inc., declined to say whether a takeover of Kwanzaa might not be in the works as well. He merely pointed out that,were it not for the independent existence of Kwanzaa, the merger between Christmas and Chanukah might indeed be seen as an unfair cornering of the holiday market. Fortunately for all concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help to maintain the competitive balance. He then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of "Oy Vey, All Ye Faithful."

A Sign of the Times As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

A Christmas Gift A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

Top 10 Things To Say About A Christmas Gift You Don't Like

10. Hey! There's a gift! 9. Well, well, well ... 8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would've fit. 7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement. 6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires. 5. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious! 4. I love it -- but I fear the jealousy it will inspire. 3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program. 2. To think -- I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity. 1. "I really don't deserve this."


Hanukkah Humor The Eight Days of Hanukkah (for Amy B.)

On the eighth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me 8 Alka- Seltzer 7 noodle kugels

On the first night of Hanukkah my true love gave to me

6 pickled herrings

Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

5 bowls of chicken soup

On the second night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me 2 Kosher pickles and Lox, bagels and some cream cheese On the third night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me

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4 potato latkes 3 pounds of corned beef 2 Kosher pickles and Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

3 pounds of corned beef

PS:For the Israeli version, substitute 1 Falafel ball , 2 spoons

2 Kosher pickles and

of Hummos, 3 liters of Tehina, 4 plates of salads, 5 glasses of

Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

eshkoliot (grapefruit juice), 6 bags of pita, 7 mouthfuls of ful

On the fourth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me

and 8 greps

Hanukkah Groaner

4 potato latkes 3 pounds of corned beef

It was Hanukkah and the tiny village was in fear of not hav-

2 Kosher pickles and

ing any latkes because they had run out of flour.

Lox, bagels and some cream cheese On the fifth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me 5 bowls of chicken soup 4 potato latkes 3 pounds of corned beef 2 Kosher pickles and Lox, bagels and some cream cheese On the sixth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me 6 pickled herrings 5 bowls of chicken soup 4 potato latkes 3 pounds of corned beef 2 Kosher pickles and Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

Rudi, the rabbi, was called upon to help solve the problem. He said, "don't worry, you can substitute matzo meal for the flour and the latkes will be just as delicious!" Sheila looks to her husband and says, "Mortey...you think it'll work?" and Mortey says, "of course! Everybody knows......................... Rudolph, the Rab, knows grain dear!"

Top 10 Reasons to Like Hanukkah 10. No roof damage from reindeer 9. Never a silent night when you're among your Jewish loved ones 8. If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days to correct it

On the seventh night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me

7. Betting Hanukkah gelt (the chocholate coins) on candle

7 noodle kugels

races

6 pickled herrings

6. You can use your fireplace

5 bowls of chicken soup

5. Naked spin-the-dreidel games

4 potato latkes

4. Fun waxy buildup on the menorah

3 pounds of corned beef

3. No awkward explanations of virgin birth

2 Kosher pickles and

2. Cheer optional

Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

1. No Irving Berlin songs


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Had Enough of the Holidays? Just Wait Until January!! Holidays In January 2010 1 New Year's Day 2 Run up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes Day 3 Festival of Sleep Day 3 Fruitcake Toss Day 3 Humiliation Day 4 Trivia Day 5 National Bird Day 6 Bean Day 6 Cuddle Up Day 7 Old Rock Day 8 Bubble Bath Day 8 Male Watcher's Day 9 Play God Day 10 Peculiar People Day 11 Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend's Day 12 Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day 12 National Pharmacist Day 13 International Skeptics Day 13 Make Your Dream Come True Day 14 Dress Up Your Pet Day 15 National Hat Day 16 National Nothing Day 17 Ditch New Years Resolutions Day 18 Thesaurus Day 18 Winnie the Pooh Day -The Birthday of Winnie's author A.A. Milne 19 Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday , celebrated on the third Monday 19 National Popcorn Day 20 National Buttercrunch Day 20 Penguin Awareness Day 21 National Hugging Day 21 Squirrel Appreciation Day 22 National Blonde Brownie Day 23 National Pie Day 23 National Handwriting Day 23 Measure Your Feet Day- we only ask...."Why!?!" 24 Beer Can Appreciation Day 24 Compliment Day 25 Opposite Day 26 Spouse's Day 27 Chocolate Cake Day 27 Punch the Clock Day 28 Fun at Work Day 28 National Kazoo Day 29 National Puzzle Day 29 National Cornchip Day 30 National Inane Answering Message Day 31 Backward Day 31 Inspire Your Heart with Art Day


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Did a Soda-Pop Company Invent Santa? By the 1930s, Coca-Cola needed to re-evaluate its business plan. The more controversial aspects of the beverage had long been dealt with (as No joke. Fat, jolly Santa -- the guy with the red suit and cap, the thick early as 1903, coca-bean extract was removed and caffeine took its place), black belt and sooty boots, the rosy cheeks, the luminous eyes, the but it was the Depression; beverage sales were slow -- especially in the brighter-than-white teeth -- is the spawn of an adverwintry months -- and Coca-Cola needed a new hook tising campaign by Coca-Cola back in the 1930s. and line to attract the American market.

Santa Claus is the Result of a Coke Deal.

Surprised? Don't be. As far as Coca-Cola is concerned, this is public knowledge. The company is open about its role in popularizing Santa; it has even sponsored gallery exhibitions on "Advertising as Art" that explain how it all happened, one of which was held at the Carrousel du Louvre, in Paris, in 1996. Here's the story:

So, in 1931, Coca-Cola changed its target audience: from the adult looking for a pharmaceutical pick-meup to the whole family. Coca-Cola was now a great taste to be enjoyed by everyone! To bring the point home, the company launched an extensive advertising campaign that pioneered the use of well-known artists as ad designers. Coca-Cola blitzed pharmacies and stores with promotional material suitable for the whole family.

Back in the late 19th century, when Coca-Cola was new, the whole purpose of the beverage was medicinal. If you were feeling "low" or if you suffered from The most successful illustrations were by a Swedish headaches, a Coke was the perfect remedy. The feaartist named Haddon Sundblom, whose work depicted tured ingredient -- cocaine, or coca-bean extract -a portly white man in a red suit bringing joy to family guaranteed a renewed agility and acuity. Indeed, and friends with a bottle of Coke. The figure in the illustrations was the many people found out about Coke from their pharmacists; the company first modern Santa. paid pharmacists a commission if drugstores allowed them to install a carby Seeta Pena Gangadharan bonation tap on the premises.


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Chef Lester’s Sober Sideboard CLOSE THE YEAR WITH A FINAL "NO" TO NEGATIVES This is our final boot to negatives. As this year draws to a close we need to remember to be thankful for the goodness we all have enjoyed this year. With Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and other special days upon us we want to pause and reflect all the positive things that helped make our lives better and us a better person. We want to only reflect on the negatives that made us stronger and pray we learned from our mistakes. We can direct our paths in sobriety by the way we choose to feel. Just as we are always breathing, we are always thinking. Unless you were out of breath when you read the preceding line you probably didn't consciously think about the fact that you were breathing. It's the same with thinking. Because we are constantly thinking we are not necessarily conscious about the fact we are thinking. Thinking comes back to us as feelings. Our thoughts determine our state of mind. If we are thinking about unhappy things we are unhappy. If we are thinking happy thoughts we are happy. Our inner conflicts can cause serious problems. We made wrong choices in the past when we were under stress. No one makes us happy, sad, jealous, or angry. The way we chose to think about the situation determines the way we feel. We can not get angry without first having angry thoughts. We can not get stressed out without first having stressful thoughts. If we are sad, we are having sad thoughts. If we are jealous, we are having jealous thoughts. We must first have the thought that produces the feeling. You get the picture.

We hold negative feelings in place by dwelling on negative thoughts. We can't control the birds flying overhead, but we can keep them from nesting in our hair. Negative thoughts do occur. Do not stay with them. Remember, "IT IS OUR THINKING THAT IS NEGATIVE NOT OUR LIVES!" This simple realization can be the first step to putting us back on the path toward happiness. The next time we are feeling upset we need to notice our thinking. We will realize it is negative. Of all the attitudes we can acquire, the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing. As we remember the things for which we are thankful, there is little room for negative thoughts. When a situation occurs that could dump stress in our lap or stress is creeping up, we try to remember…"WE ARE TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED!" It takes practice, but we can get to the point where we treat negative thoughts in much the say way we treat flies at a picnic: we shoo them away! Here's something very positive: a delicious spiced baked turkey breast that is great for any occasion. It is a simple 4 ingredient entrée. It takes only a few minutes prep time and then our oven does the rest. Let's grab our chef's hats, and aprons and turkey waddle to the kitchen.

PREPARATION: Preheat oven to 350. Press the Cajun seasoning onto the turkey breast. Dip the breast in melted butter or olive oil. Roll in bread crumbs. Place on a sheet of heavy foil and bring edges together up and over the breast and fold over twice. Fold ends twice to seal and place packet in shallow baking pan. Bake for 1 ½ hours; open foil to expose top of breast and bake additional 30 minutes. Pour the collected juices into a small sauce pot and bring to a boil. Make a slurry of cornstarch and water to thicken the juices to make a marvelous gravy. Let turkey rest about 5 minutes before slicing.

SERVING: Arrange the turkey slices on a decorative platter. Sliced oranges make a great garnish. Since Florida oranges are at their peek, an orange salad accompanied by winter vegetables make for great sides. You can roast a medley of potatoes, carrots, turnips, parsnips, squash and onions along side the turkey. Pea soup makes a great first course. Any way you serve this turkey dish you will have your brood of little gobblers shaking their "turkey tail feathers" and singing: "That's DEE-licious!" "Try it…your tummy will be glad you did!"-Chef Lester

SPICY BAKED TURKEY BREAST (Serves 4 + more) INGREDIENTS: 1 half turkey breast (2 to 2 1/2 lb.) 3 tablespoons Cajun Seasoning 1/2 cup melted butter or olive oil 1 cup crushed bread crumbs (Heavy foil for baking the breast)

Chef Lester, author, columnist, and television host chef is a graduate of the Culinary Arts academy. Questions, comments, and suggestions? E-mail: cheflesterlee@yahoo.com

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Santa Claus Is Coming Our Way If you don't think so, take a good, hard look at the record--and then stand by your telephones! SANTA CLAUS is an alcoholic. That stark pronouncement may make strong men blanch and little children whimper, but every fact at our command points to its truth. Consider the evidence. Item: This oddly behaved old man has a red nose and a flushed face, and prances around shouting, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" at total strangers. That "Ho! Ho! Ho!" bit is suspicious in itself. As we recall, the complete quotation goes, "Ho! Ho! Ho! and a bottle of rum!" Or something like that. Now why does Santa leave out part of it? Why is he reluctant to mention the rum? We believe it is just an alcoholic's unwillingness to talk about anything related to a drinking problem. Item: This chap is unshaven and longhaired, and goes about in an old red suit which is completely out of style. It even has fur on it. Surely, this shows that he has no regard at all for his personal appearance, and also that he apparently doesn't earn enough to keep himself in respectable attire. (Or is blowing his wages for you-know-what.) Item: On the subject of money, here is a gent who can't make ends meet, yet throws away what little he has and goes into hock up to his eyes, besides. Sure, on occasion you and I have bought drinks for the house during a blast, or flowers and toys for the wife and kiddies after one; but this profligate madman hands out goodies to everyone in the world. Only a dyed-in-the-wool alcoholic could toss it away like that. Item: By all accounts, Santa Claus works only one day a year, which is sort of a record, even for someone on the sauce. There's been mention of certain elves who are reputed to work for him, but we can't verify that they exist, nor, if they do, that he pays them anything. Why his business doesn't go to pot, we'll never understand--unless it's Mrs. Claus who holds things together, as the wives of boozers often do. Of course, she may have money in her own name. Anyway, it remains undeniable that December 24 is S. C.'s only workday. What he does the other 364, we leave to your imagination. Item: Speaking of Mrs. Claus--how come Santa never takes her out? Is it the problem drinker's typical disregard for the happiness of his family, or does she just refuse to be seen with him in public? There's something awfully wrong in a household when man and wife never socialize together. Item: On the topic of work, how does our

subject go about it? On those long trips he takes, does he sensibly drive something like a Ford or Chevy van? No, he uses a sleigh drawn by reindeer, of all things. Horses we could understand, if he chooses to cling to the old ways; but only a dipso would dream of dashing across the tundra behind a herd of deer. And don't forget this--it's common knowledge that he's loaded when he leaves home. When he arrives at a house, does he use the front door, as any moderate two-beer drinker would? No, he climbs down the chimney! Typical alcoholic insanity. There it is, all spelled out for you, so make your own decision. We've made ours. This S. Claus is definitely a candidate for the club. A few kind souls might consider him only a periodic lush, since he seems to hang one on just once a year; but in our own opinion there's a lot of steady, secret guzzling going on up there at the North Pole, culminating in that mad moonlight jaunt on December 24. At any rate, you good AAs from Alaska and northern Canada please keep listening for your phone to ring. Somewhere, some time, late at night, a voice may say, "North Pole is on the line. Will you accept a call, collect?" J. G. T. Negaunee, Michigan

A Letter from Santa Claus (Volume 27 Issue 7,December 1970) Editors AA Grapevine 468 Park Avenue South New York, N.Y. 10016 SIRS: I'm an easygoing fellow and can take a joke as well as the next guy. I am sensitive about a few things, however, and you hit on one of them in your December 1969 issue. Some nincompoop had the gall to accuse me of alcoholism! I am not now, nor have I ever been, an alcoholic. You'll never see me wallowing around in the gutter with those guys. Why, I don't even take a drink in the morning. Sure, I have a shot now and then with the elves, just a sociable glass--but a lush I'm not. I haven't been snockered now for, oh, two or three weeks. I wouldn't have gotten drunk then, either, but Mrs. Claus, got on my nerves. She keeps pestering me about the booze, as if I was some kid who couldn't handle it. That's why I don't take her out often--I have one short one and she's in a dither. Who wants to put up with that when he's trying to have a good time? Never thought of

that, did you? You guys are always quick to judge, never look at the other side of the coin. I can take it or leave it alone. Generally, I prefer to take it. Who doesn't? But when I want to quit, I'll quit. Up here at the Pole, I have to drink a little now and then. This is a desolate place. Aren't I entitled to a little cheer? I don't begrudge anybody else their entertainment. To be absolutely honest, I'll admit I have had a bit of trouble in the past. But now I've wised up and started to control my drinking. I've switched to beer and table wines--you fellows ought to know they're harmless enough. If the problem should come back, I'll just clamp down a mite harder. Self-control, that's what it takes, just like with smoking. I used to smoke a pipe, but I've quit. If I can quit smoking, I can quit drinking, right? But for now there's no need to. I'll clue you in on what prevents a good, two-fisted drinker from turning into an alcoholic. A steady job. In spite of what that article said, I get out almost every day and work. Keeps my mind off the liquor. I go over to the elves' workshop and give them pointers on speeding up production and improving their workmanship. I may have to quit going over there, though, because one or two of the elves act as if a little friendly advice is an insult or something. Maybe I'll get a hobby instead. Everyone knows I'm a great guy--not a coward hiding behind a bottle. Don't I stay up all night making my deliveries to all the tots at Christmastime? Not many people would do that, now would they? No, I'm okay--I've got my thinking straight. I don't need any of you alkies telling me I need help with my drinking. Just to show you I don't hold grudges: If you'll print a public apology for slandering me, I'll tell my lawyers to go easier on you in court. What's more, if you loosen up long enough for one good fling, I'll let you come to the big New Year's party I'm holding. Bring your own booze, preferably sloe gin or whiskey. It'll be your last chance to see me drunk, because after New Year's I'm tapering off and may eventually quit altogether. Who knows? Soberly, Santa Claus ********** Permission to reprint The AA Grapevine, Inc., copyrighted material in this publication does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either Alcoholics Anonymous or The AA Grapevine, Inc.


37

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