The Solution News Since 1991
February to April 2012 Happy, Joyous and Always Free!!
Recovery
Growth
Renewal
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Lifestyles College of Development 1705 S. Federal Hwy Suite A5 Delray Beach, Fl 33483 Lifestyles College of Development's mission is to provide you with the educational tools to develop hope, inspiration, and courage to find your passion and reach your goals with SKILLS FOR LIFE. We are here to teach you the "How To," not the "Why Not." Traditionally you learn WHY NOT to have certain behaviors. We will educate you on HOW TO change certain behaviors as you develop your lifestyle with pride. The common struggle is knowing what to do, but not knowing HOW TO do it. At Lifestyles College of Development, you will participate in an active learning model that teaches you HOW TO be successful by using the same techniques that taught you complicated tasks such as riding a bike and driving. Just as these skills are now second nature to you, so will become the skills for life. As alumni of Lifestyles College of Development, you will be equipped with the skills to begin the life that you have always wanted. Why wait? Become who you really are and start your life TODAY. Lifestyles College of Development is a Department of Children and Family Services (DCF) Florida state licensed facility in partial hospitalization (PHP), intensive outpatient (IOP), and outpatient (OP) treatment. We serve the housewife, the business professional, the student, the employee, the employer, those transitioning from inpatient facilities, and those who would like to develop a healthy lifestyle but do not meet medical necessity for inpatient treatment.
561.450.6320 or call us Toll Free 1-855-SKILLS 4 LIFE lifestylescollegeofdevelopment.com
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The Solution News Contents Page 4 - Dave’s Page: Preserving David DeOreo's Legacy of Love and Service Page 5 - Journaling Page 6 - Twelve Step Recovery Page 7 - Dealing With The Black Hole Page 8 - Hotlines and Helplines Page 10 - Events Page 11 - Events Page 13 - Words To Live By Page 17 - Bob’s Last Drink Page 18 - Rebecca B: Oh Lord - He’s An Auburn Fan? Page 20 - Love & Service Page: The Hill Page 21 - Love & Service Page: MEEP Page 22 - Because of Love Page 24 - Prayers of the Steps Page 25 - Prayers of the Steps Page 26 - Lip Balm Anonymous Page 27 - The Road of Life
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Preserving David DeOreo’s Legacy of Love and Service small acts. This is the true miracle and the one that has saved my life and made it possible for me to heal from this horrible addiction.
Dave’s Page
Recently it has occurred to me that we can become very parochial in our recovery program. We have a tendency to think that our disease is of supreme importance in the universe. We are selfcentered in our disease. We hang out with recovering people, talk about recovery, work in recovery, socialize in recovery and basically for those of us in South Florida live in a recovering community. But really we represent a small fraction of people in our society. There are so many others who need help that are not addicts or alcoholics. We spend so much time focused on our own disease of addiction that we have a tendency to not
Due to a generous donation from an anonymous donor in memory of our wonderful sponsor David DeOreo The Solution News will now be able to devote two pages of every issue to notfor- profit agencies to present their programs and needs to our readers. Over the last twenty years we have always presented a list of Volunteer Opportunities during the holidays. This has been one of our most popular features. The real winners in this gift will be my readers who will have an opportunity to get outside of themselves and perform a kind and generous selfless act of donating money or time to worthy causes. Dr. Bob explained the twelve step program in six words: Trust God, Clean House, Help Others. In his wisdom he realized the tremendous transformational power of the act of getting outside of ourselves and helping others. The very nature of our diseases of addiction is rooted in self-centeredness. This self-centeredness can kill us. Volunteerism is an antidote for self-centeredness. While we are working with others we experience a form of self-forgetting. Our own problems and difficulties become meaningless in the face of working with people with serious illness, poverty, pain and hopelessness. By volunteering we help others and paradoxically help ourselves.
see all of the opportunities for helping others with problems other than alcohol or addiction. Some ideas are working with children, domestic violence, veterans hospitals, nursing homes, literacy programs, feeding the hungry, working for the rights of the mentally ill, and hospice care. There are so many opportunities to take our wonderful program, as expressed in our new way of life, out into the world. The spiritual awakening that we have found through our twelve step program can be used to help people outside the proMy own personal belief is that the miracle that gram. has occurred in my life is not that a seemingly hopeless and incurable alcoholic and drug addict David De Oreo understood this and taught love no longer drinks or does drugs. The miracle real- and service by example. He was always there ly is is that in my addiction I was dying from with a helping hand, an ear to listen, a gentle hug being self-centered in the extreme. Today I have and a smile. He was there for everyone inside and the capacity to get outside of myself and care outside the program and the ripple effect of his about others. This transformation took work like example has helped literally thousands of people. every thing else in our program and started with Let’s continue to follow his lessons and legacy of love and service
Thoughts and Poetry of David DeOreo Problems are common Solutions come with understanding Love finds it’s own answer ***** Time’s a funny thing A few precious moments Can outweigh a thousand hours ****** Thoughtfulness is remembering How we would like to treat someone\ And doing something about it. ****** Love is like the earth It must be cultivated regularly Or weeds will grow and crawl And choke out all sunlight and rain And leave a hard crust beneath Where once there was soft sweet soil The soil is always there But the cleaning up process Is hard and tedious The cultivating harder Because the crust has thickened The ever giving rich soil can be restored And if cultivated regularly can bring forth The most beautiful fragrant blossoms Where weeds once grew. ****** I’ve heard the hurt of the world The search of the heart The emptiness of tomorrow The weakness of character Yet These things can be corrected With faith in God And trust in ourselves ***** Living, in the true sense, Is helping the person next to you ***** “ May your heart beat be heard in heaven, may the angels enlighten your mind, may your laughter ring in God’s ear and may your soul find it’s journey home. ” -David DeOreo
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The Healthy Benefits of Journal Keeping When Michael came home from Vietnam, he couldn't talk about his experiences. For years, he kept his feelings and thoughts clenched in his heart like a fist. Then he started writing. At first, the words poured out in great waves of tears onto the pages of his journal. Over time, he began to notice how each sentence, and each page, brought greater release and distance from the pain he had borne in silence for so many years. Vietnam began to lose its power and strangle-hold on him and his life. "Writing bridges the inner and outer worlds and connects the paths of action and reflection," writes Christina Baldwin, author of Life's Companion: Journal Writing as a Spiritual Quest (Bantam, $13.95). "Writing is sorting. Writing gives us a way to respect the mind, to choose among and harness thoughts, to interact with and change the contents of who we think we are. And that is what the spiritual journey is: a major change, over time, in who we think we are, followed by a corresponding change in what we believe ourselves capable of doing." While keeping a journal and recording our feelings is not a substitute for therapy or treatment, a study that appeared in the April 1999 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association showed that writing about trauma measurably improved the health of some patients who have chronic asthma or rheumatoid arthritis. Researchers theorize that writing might be effective because it lets patients synthesize and make sense of their experience -- a theory that echoes Baldwin's contention that writing is "sorting" and a bridge to understanding. In early Twelve Step recovery, people are encouraged to "tell their story" as a way to openly and honestly acknowledge their powerlessness over their addiction. As they work the steps, this story unfolds further when they take stock of themselves and their behavior. A journal can be a valuable tool in this reflective and introspective process because it accepts these truths and stories without judgment. Recording our truths and feelings in a journal better prepares us to interact honestly with oth-
ers in our mutual-help groups, our families and all aspects of our lives. There is no right or wrong way to keep a journal. Cynthia Orange, a writing teacher from St. Paul, MN who has written extensively on addiction and recovery, suggests that people simply sit down with pen and paper (or computer) and make a contract with themselves to write for five or 10 minutes at first. "It works well to set an oven timer and write until the bell goes off," Orange said. "Don't worry about spelling, punctuation or whether or not your writing makes sense. Just write. Sometimes it helps to use a repetitive phrase like I used to ________but now I__________. Start out listing whatever comes to mind until your pen or keys fly. You don't have to stay with the original sentence or subject. Follow your thoughts and writing wherever they lead. I predict that you'll soon lose track of time and find yourself writing way beyond the bell." Orange stressed that journals aren't just "negative dumping grounds," but places to record positive thoughts as well. She suggests recording a "blessing a day" -- a practice she learned from Baldwin. "Each night before you go to bed, list the gifts you were given that day -- the quality of light on a cloudy day, the friendly clerk at the grocery store, the laughter of a child -- anything that made your heart lighter, even for a moment. This is a great way to fall asleep in what recovering people call an attitude of gratitude." Keeping a journal makes good sense for those who participate in Twelve Step recovery programs. Letting go and turning over what we cannot change, changing what we can, acknowledging our weaknesses, and celebrating our joys are all integral aspects of Twelve Step recovery. A journal is a safe place where we can record those changes, let go of our fears, and express confusion, anger, doubt, remorse and joy. A journal is a constant friend that accepts our negative and positive feelings unconditionally. It is also a place where we can chart our growth, inch by inch, step by step.
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Twelve Step Recovery Is Spirituality At Its Best Nancy Kehoe, Ph.D., is a Massachusetts psychologist, who for 20 years has trained mental health care providers to tend to the spiritual as well as the psychological needs of their clients. At a Hazelden Woman’s Healing conference in April, Kehoe emphasized that although spirituality and religion can be integrally linked to mental health, the therapeutic community is usually reluctant or illequipped to explore these areas with clients--even though doing so could greatly enhance and speed up their recovery.
it’s about accepting that you need help from a source outside yourself to recover from addictive practices. The “Higher Power” who guides in the recovery journey is defined by each individual. It might be a spiritual being, it might be
Understanding how people image God or a Higher Power and what role spirituality plays in patient’s lives can give therapists valuable information for diagno- nature, or it could be a God of traditional relisis and treatment, Kehoe said. gions. As the authors of the Big Book put it, “To Mental health professionals can learn much us the Realm of the Spirit is broad, roomy, all from Alcoholics Anonymous, an organization inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those founded on the premise that recovery and heal- who earnestly seek.” While recovering people are encouraged to ing involve body, mind and spirit, she says. Life is out of control for people who struggle with pray or meditate for guidance and wisdom, they substance abuse or other addictive behaviors, don’t expect a Higher Power to do all the work and the first step toward recovery is acknowl- of recovery for them. And members of Al-Anon edging that healing requires more than willpow- understand that prayer alone can’t make a husband or a mother or a child stop drinking or er. using drugs. An addict has to want to recover, “Most people try to live by self propulsion,” and has to take that first step for him or herself. says AA’s Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous,” In the meantime, Al-Anon members discovthe basic text of Twelve Step groups. But to er that while they can’t control the actions or recover they have to “quit playing God.” “We are not saints,” says the Big Book. “The point is, inactions of their loved ones, through the help of that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. their group and their Higher Power, they can The principles we set down are guides to learn how to care for themselves in healthy ways that will enrich their own lives and spirits. progress.” That spiritual progress is not about religion;
healthiest. Recovering people are told to honestly examine their character defects, and then to make amends to those they have harmed. This “relational” approach is not the same as the religious concept of doing penance, explained Kehoe, because it requires individuals to interact with those they have harmed in order to right a wrong. In Twelve Step recovery, making amends is a process that involves inner reflection, accountability and action. Recovering people also learn how to deal with shame and guilt in ways that nurture their spirits. They grow to understand that shame is feeling bad about who you are, while guilt is feeling bad for what you have done. They often find that it is easier to forgive others than to forgive yourself, but with time, integrity, hard work and the help of a Higher Power, you can make amends even to yourself. Kehoe said that Twelve Step groups have also discovered how rich traditions, ritual and community--resources that have renewed peoples spirits throughout history -- can aid in the recovery journey. Mutual-help groups are communities in which people gather to tell their stories and listen to another’s story with respect and without judgement. Certain exercises such as reading a meditation for the day, checking in with each other, taking turns sharing a problem or concern are familiar practices that unite and comfort. In Twelve Step groups, all participants are equal, and all have the common spiritual goal of recovery.
Twelve Step recovery is spirituality at its Reprinted with permission from Alive & Free a chemical health newsletter provided by Hazelden.
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4 Ways to Deal With Your Emotional Black Hole by Tanya Markul The Emotional Black Hole – also known as hitting the self destruct button, self sabotaging goals, aspirations and dreams and existing in a negatively charged emotional state that makes life nearly unbearable for yourself and everyone around you. Are any of these familiar? They are to me: I don’t feel like it. I hate the way I look. Life would be better if I looked… I am so frustrated. I can’t do it. I’d try more if only I had…
What are your thoughts upon starting a project or goal – are they positive and self-affirming or are they full of self trashing and doubt? What are your thoughts during yoga practice, better yet, during more challenging postures? What is your inner dialogue during meditation? When you look into a mirror? When you supposedly f*ck something up? When you are faced with a challenging situation or person? Learning to recognize the negativity and judgment that we alone instill upon ourselves can be a HUGE way to instigate a positive change from within – remove (or replace) anything from our inner dialogue that isn’t of compassion and support. Practice makes easier.
It’s not worth it. Nothing will work. If he/change changes then I can…
3. Don’t attach to the drama. To achieve we must get our life together and we must not get No one understands me. I don’t know who I caught up in the drama. When we sense that an am. It’s not my fault it’s… obstacle is flirting with us, we need not attach to it, but observe it and learn from it. There will I don’t like myself. I’m all alone. I can’t tell the always be obstacles – this is easily predictable! truth because… However, we can learn to deal with them better I just want to sleep. I’m not fixable. I just want – like my Grandma says, we don’t need to to hide. make a mountain out of a molehill. When we make an honest effort to understand them (our I’m so angry. I’m the victim. I don’t care anyobstacles), without attaching drama, we open more. up to learning something about ourselves. We will eventually evolve from thinking ‘what is It takes time to change accumulated patterns, or in yoga terms, to remove wrong with me’ to understanding that everything is temporary and that the layers of poison that surround our heart’s and keep us from discover- despite its presence, we can maintain or manifest peace of mind. ing who we really are. Emotional Black Holes can be triggered by any one or combination of these six obstacles or poisons: kama, krodha, moha, ‘If small things have the power to disturb you, then who you think you are lobha, matsarya and mada. These are desire, anger, delusion, greed, envy is exactly that: small.’ –Eckhart Tolle and sloth. These poisons, translated into Emotional Black Holes, often result in many forms of self destruction – unhealthy habits (both physically and mentally), an overload of physical toxins (heedlessness) and emotional hang-ups. These obstacles keep us from knowing the deepest part of our selves and further more from developing an understanding of all life. So, what can we do? 1. Recognize the symptoms of sabotage. Symptoms like…giving up not based on anything reasonable, insatiable cravings, procrastination (waiting for something unreasonable or unnecessary to happen in order to start or to move forward), carelessness (not believing in what you are doing, not believing in the process), the inability to retain your efforts (even the slightest effort – always starting from the very beginning), an inability to focus (or at least the inability to make a sincere effort to focus) and being easily distracted.
4. Break patterns. I can hear the voice of one of my yoga teachers, ‘Anything meaningful in life usually comes at the expense of a little sacrifice and hard work.’ In many ways we are deeply attached to these obstacles and therefore we need to work hard to understand and accept them before we can rise above them. We all have a black hole within – we all have things like fear, insecurity and shame. Retraining our minds and bodies is a step toward unconditional acceptance and compassion for all life, including our own. DETERMINATION, DISCIPLINE and PRACTICE. When we practice vigilantly, continuously with sincerity and with focus, we eventually allow our inner light to shine through.
The Way is perfect like vast space where nothing is lacking and nothing is in excess. Indeed, it is due to our choosing to accept or reject that we do not see the true nature of things. Live neither in the entanglements of outer things, nor in inner feelings of 2. Recognize the thoughts that lead to sabotage. Buddha says ‘we are what emptiness. we think.’ Sometimes hearing our inner voice, our inner wisdom is hard Be serene in the oneness of things and such erroneous views will disapwhen we have twenty other ‘voices’ screaming for our attention. Learning pear by themselves. to observe these ‘voices’ versus attaching reaction, an emotion (or stress) to them can be a very good way to give ourselves some space to ‘think’. Perhaps things aren’t as intense or horrible as they seem. Perhaps they are -An excerpt from Hsin Hsin Ming on Believing in Mind even manageable.
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Hotlines and Helplines
A CHRIST CENTERED 12 STEP PROGRAM Every Tuesday 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm RSVP for Free Childcare New Children’s Recovery Celebration Station nrunhaar@FUMCBocaRaton.org FUMC,625 Mizner Blvd., Boca Raton, FL 33432
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Therapists RNS &LPNS Admissions Department We are looking for Florida licensed LPNS and RNS who are friendly & compassionate and able to work with alcoholics and addicts. The hours are a mix of evenings and nights with weekend work involved. We are also looking for an RN to supervise the clinical aspects of the department and work as an integral part of an allied health professional’s team.
Admissions Coordinator The Admissions Coordinator is responsible for developing, managing and implementing systems, particularly inquiry/intake calls, patient screenings, admissions and contacts with utilization reviewers and case managers. He/she is also responsible for working with the admissions and facility staff to assure exceptional patient and community satisfaction, and in developing and achieving community education and awareness goals. Specific Job Duties Include: Answers inquiry calls efficiently and courteously.Answers any questions callers may have that are of a non-clinical nature; appropriately transfer calls if clinical issues arise. Appropriately completes inquiry call forms.Coordinates and schedules prospective patient screenings.Coordinates and processes all admissions to the facility.Responsible for obtaining demographic and financial information during inquiry calls.Forwards financial coverage information to billing unit; verifying insurance information as necessary. Maintains the Inquiry Call Disposition Log and follows up accordingly. Responsible for mailing program literature when requested.Works collaboratively with the Admissions Office Clinical Supervisor and Admissions Office Manager, providing update information; re: inquiry calls throughout the month.Ensures the clinical and financial screening criteria have been met prior to admission.Obtains necessary consents, identifications and financial documents needed to admit patient into the program." Able to recognize and assist in crisis situations and provide interventions based on training and experience. Provides community awareness education and in services on behalf of facility as assigned Requirements: Minimum of 1 to 3 years experience in healthcare, preferably in mental health. Exceptional customer service skills. Available Shifts: 4:00pm-12am
Are you looking for a place where the concept of "team" has deeper meaning? We are looking for caring, insightful therapists who are committed to the highest quality care for our patients and who have the desire to support those who are struggling with addiction. Our facilities offer our patients comfortable and safe surroundings to begin their journey of recovery. The Watershed is Joint Commission accredited and fully licensed by the State of Florida. Our therapists provide individual and group counseling to patients in our inpatient treatment program. The therapist is able to develop a relationship with the patient that begins in detox and lasts throughout the entire length of stay. The therapist functions within the limits of their licensure, registration and/or certification. Graduation from an accredited college or university with a Masters Degree in a health-related discipline; licensed and/or accredited applicants preferred. Experience with chemical dependency and/or dual diagnosis programs preferred. The Watershed welcomes recovering individuals to apply! Recovering individuals must have a minimum of 1 full year of abstinence from drugs/alcohol to eligible for employment.
Behavioral Health Techs Are you a caring, compassionate individual? Are you able to provide supervision and support for others in a thoughtful, respectful manner? If you have these qualities we encourage you to apply for a position as a Behavioral Health Technician, (BHT). Our BHT's are directly involved in providing quality care for patients as part of the overall team and are responsible for conducting meetings and providing structure for our patients during their treatment experience. As a BHT you are the front line staff member, having frequent interactions with the patients throughout their stay. As a result you are in a position to have a positive impact on the patient's view toward recovery. The average day for a BHT involves a variety of activities; there isn't a lot of time spent in one place since our patient's care is conducted in different areas of the facility. The BHT should have a clear sense of personal boundaries and be able to enforce clearly established guidelines. People with their own personal recovery experience are encouraged to apply! Must have a minimum of 12 months of sobriety.
Call-Back Representatives We are currently seeking hard working, customer service oriented individuals with excellent communication skills to become members of our team. The CallBack Representatives will work collaboratively with the Admissions Coordinators in order to admit new patients into our treatment facilities. This position involves making follow-up calls to individuals who have previously called The Watershed seeking treatment but were never admitted into our facility. Our goal is to reach out to those who may have avoided treatment in the past and assist them with their struggles of addiction, by offering our treatment services. This position is full-time with some weekends involved & located in our Delray Beach, corporate building.A year or more of 12-step recovery experience is very beneficial to anyone working in this position. Prior call-center and/or healthcare experience are a plus!
The Watershed is a Drug Free Workplace and an Equal Opportunity Employer. For more information, please visit: www.thewatershed.com. To apply, please go to www.thewatershed.jobs. ATTENTION ALL WATERSHED ALUMNI!!! Are you a graduate of The Watershed Treatment Programs? Do you have an interest in having personal growth in your recovery? Would you like to be able to help others, even as you were helped? If the answer to any or all of these questions is "YES", then we want to hear from YOU! The Watershed has a unique one of a kind ALUMNI PROGRAM that is quite literally filled with events, activities & services just for YOU!! It is a place to find support, fellowship and numerous ways to reach out and help others. We currently have over 5,800 registered alumni members around the country and we want YOU to be a part of this community! We also have an Alumni Family Outreach Program for YOUR family members to offer them the same connection and support with each other that now in excess of 6,100 members nation wide!!! We hope that whether you are an alumnus or a family member of an alumnus, that you will join our social web site called Lives in Recovery. To register just go to www.livesinrecovery.com today! You will find a place to register under "ALUMNI" and a place to register under "FAMILY". On this site, you will be able to chat, create groups and meetings, upload videos, create photo albums, find local meetings, be up to date on events, access the Alumni or Family Magazines, the monthly Alumni or Family Newsletter, the Life Saver's Club Newsletter, and SO MUCH MORE! We hope that you will get involved with Alumni if you aren't already. (YOUR VOICE IS NEEDED!!) We have the Alumni Speaker Meetings EVERY SATURDAY from 10:30am to 12 noon at BOTH the BOCA and BOYNTON facilities. If you are a new alumnus with less than 90 days in recovery, we have special support meeting just for you and we WA N T YOU TO COME! It is called the ALUMNI SUPPORT meeting and is held at THE WATERSHED'S TWR APARTMENTS in Lake Worth, FL on THURSDAY nights 5:30 to 6:45pm & on Friday's from 4 - 5:15pm. There, you can gain important information related to your early recovery and upon reaching 90 days get your MEDALLION on Anniversary Saturday the last Saturday of the month! (IF YOU HAVE LESS THAN 90 DAYS A N D ATTEND ALUMNI SUPPORT MEETINGS YOU MAY ALSO ATTEND SATURDAY SPEAKER MEETINGS) For directions or further information or questions, contact Rebecca Balko at the contact information listed below. MARK YOUR CALENDARS!!! Our next A N N U A L ALUMNI AND FAMILIES PICNIC will be Saturday March 10th at JOHN PRINCE PARK from 12noon until 4pm! This event is for Watershed Alumni, Families and Staff. There will be UNBELIEVABLE food, more activities than you can probably do in one day, face painting & a caricaturist for young and old alike, a DJ, raffle prizes and just a GREAT day of fellowship together!!! For more information contact Rebecca Balko at 561-860-8045 or e-mail Rbalko@thewatershed.com .
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Events
CHANGE YOUR LIFE‌
Join a Mind-Body Skills Group Develop empowering & effective skills for stress management and personal growth. Mind-Body Skills Groups utilize techniques such as:
Meditation, Guided Imagery, Breathing Techniques, Drawing,Writing, Self Awareness, Movement 2012 Mind-Body Skills Workshops & Groups Mondays
04/16 - 05/07/2012 6:30 - 8:30 PM 4 Week Group Meets Each Monday for 2 hours
Mondays
07/09 - 08/13/2012 6:30 - 8:30 PM 6 Week Group Meets Each Monday for 2 hours
Mondays
10/15 - 11/15/2012 6:30 -8:30 PM 4 Week Group Meets each Monday for 2 hours Workshops and groups cost $50.00 per session. Locations in Delray Beach and Boca Raton, Florida. Advanced registration is required.
For more information call 561.859.6767 or Visit www.drcarylkeating.com
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Events April 20-22 Spring Into Sobriety Women’s Conference
Location: The Helmsley Sandcastle Resort Lido Key, Sarasota, FL Room Rates: $109 (mention SIS conference rates). Registration: $25 For more info: http://www.sisconference.com
August 1-5
56th Florida State Convention “Always Be There”
Location: Innisbrook Golf & Spa Resort Palm Harbor Phone: 727-942-2000 (convention room rates available)
Speakers, workshop, marathon meetings, and a full Al-Anon family groups program! Visit website for more info: http://www.56.flstateconvention.com.
August 17-19 17th Annual SE Women To Women Conference Location: Marriott Beach Hotel, Delray Beach. $109/night/two people.
Banquets, Speakers Friday & Saturday nights. Opportunity for sober women to experience recovery & fellowship together! Visit website for more info:
http://www.sewomantowoman.org
November 9-11
Southeast Regional Forum “Sunlight of the Spirit” Hosted by: Area 15. Location: Boca Raton Marriott. Visit website for more info: http://www.area15aa.org.
June 10, 11 & 12, AA Founders Day Celebration
76th Anniversary of Alcoholics Anonymous On-site registration will begin Friday, June 10th at 8:00 a.m. in the Student Union. PLEASE NOTE - ALL ONSITE REGISTRATIONS WILL BE CASH ONLY! This year marks the 76th anniversary of the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous here in Akron and one that promises to bring exciting changes both in the conference and the registration process. https://foundersdayregistration.akronaa.org
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The Art of Listening: A Skill Worth Learning Twelve Step recovery is based on the idea that healing from addiction begins when you become willing to share your story with another person. Our personal stories help us make sense of who we are, where we've been, and who we are becoming. However, telling our stories is only part of the equation. It is also important to listen to each other with attentive ears and open hearts.
say," said Jayme. "Shame-based systems begin in childhood. If children are ignored or responded to with a silly quip, they may think they're not deserving of being heard and they might act out in negative ways."
Active listening takes time and practice, but it is a worthwhile skill we can all learn and hone. Active listeners learn to suspend lecturing, "Listening and speaking build bridges to under- squash the desire to talk about themselves or standing and compassion," said Cecelia Jayme, their experiences, and avoid downplaying a supervisor of a women's addiction treatment unit at Hazelden. "It is important to be able to speak what's in our hearts and heads and stop living in isolation with our thoughts and feelings. And it's an honor for listeners when someone trusts you enough to hear those thoughts and feelings." However, it isn't easy to be an active listener in today's world, which is filled with so much noise, so many distractions, and too much to do. Instead of emptying our minds so we can really hear what someone is saying, we are often too preoccupied with our own unrelated concerns or too eager to get our point across that we don't really pay attention to the speaker. But deep listening can be transformational. It conveys respect and empowers the speaker. When you listen attentively to someone, you convey the message, "This is important; you are important." An adult who listens respectfully makes a better employer, coworker, spouse, parent and friend. A child who is listened to attentively is more likely to share things with a parent.
speaker's concerns. Practice the following active listening strategies and see what changes in your relationships:
* Whether the speaker is your child, your spouse, your friend, or your boss, give them your full attention by focusing on them and what they are saying. Turn off the television, the radio and your computer and turn toward the speaker so you can observe their body language. * Show you are listening by asking for clarification when needed, by making eye contact and by adding an occasional "uh-huh," "I see," or nodding your head. "Listening isn't only done "It's so important not to minimize what children with the ears," said Jayme. "Our body language,
our way of dressing, and our environments all send a message." * Show that you understand by occasionally paraphrasing what another person has said by asking things such as "Are you saying such and such?" or "What I heard you say is. . ." * Try to listen without judgment and resist the urge to interject your opinion. * Make room for silence and give the speaker time to gather thoughts. It's fine to ask if they're done speaking before you respond. * Don't give advice or diminish the speaker's experience or reactions. For example, if a child is upset that a teacher reprimanded him or her, don't infer blame by asking "What did you do?" or trivialize feelings with "There's nothing to be afraid of." Instead, validate feelings by saying something like "That must have been difficult" or "Sometimes new things are scary." * Pay attention to how good you feel the next time you are really listened to and notice what the listener did to make you feel that way. Then try those same techniques when it is your turn to listen. "Come forward with a learner's mind and be open," said Jayme. "We all need to feel we are being heard; that we are cared about, and that what we say has meaning and importance." So learn to listen, and listen to learn. This article and the articles on pages 5 & 6 are from
Hazelden.org Alive and Free
Dr. Steven Golden, Chiropractic Physician Cornell Graduate - 22 Years Experience
Sensitive to the needs of the recovering community Auto Accidents - Chronic Pain - Neck and Back Pain - Headaches Full Physical Therapy and Massage Little or no out of pocket expense to recovering people and their families. 4880 10th Avenue, Lake Worth
230 SE 23rd Avenue, Boynton Beach
561-439-3800
561-738-7738
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Words To Live By
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Debt Be Gone LLC Contact Gregory Fishman Toll-Free: 855-404-0034 ext 801 Cell: 561-860-2818
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Dr. Bob's Last Drinkink Bill W. had met a kindred spirit in Dr. Bob. Both men were born in Vermont, both were intelligent and both were alcoholics. They somehow knew that fateful evening in Henrietta Seiberling's Gatehouse home both of them were going to be okay.
of alcohol and fed him a diet of sauerkraut, How could Dr. Bob have gone to the conventomato juice and Karo Syrup. tion, by train - check into a hotel - attend the convention on Monday - check out on Tuesday Bill had remembered that in three days, Dr. Bob - be in a blackout for 24 hours - go through a was scheduled to perform surgery. On the day of three -day detoxification - perform surgery on the day of his last drink - June 10, 1935?
After a few weeks of working with each other and attempting to deliver the message of recovery to other alcoholics Bill and Dr. Bob did not appear to be discouraged. Despite their not being able to bring another rummy into the fold - they were staying sober. Quite a feat for Dr. Bob who had been attending Oxford Group meetings even prior to getting together with Bill.
Five days had passed since Dr. Bob left for the convention and returned to Akron. There was the three-day detoxification process and then there was the day of the surgery. Approximately nine days had passed from when he left and the date of his last drink. If the records of the American Medical Association are in error as to the date of their convention it is possible that June 10, 1935 was the date of Dr. Bob's last drink. If the records are in error, the 1935 convention would have been the only one in the history of the American Medical Association that was listed with the wrong date.
Dr. Bob was feeling so secure that he decided to attend a convention of the American Medical Association. He had not missed a convention in 20 years and did not plan on missing this one. Bob's wife, Anne was set against him attending the convention. She remembered previous ones where he had gotten drunk. Dr. Bob assured her that he would not drink. He said that alcoholics, even those who had stopped drinking, would have to begin to learn how to live in the real world. She finally agreed and off he went. Dr. Bob kept his promise to Anne. That is, until he boarded the train to Atlantic City. Once on the train Dr. Bob began to drink in earnest. He drank all the way to Atlantic City, purchased more bottles prior to checking in to the hotel. That was on a Sunday evening.
the surgery, Dr. Bob had recovered sufficiently to go to work. In order to insure the steadiness of Dr. Bob's hands during the operation Bill gave him a bottle of beer. That was to be Dr. Bob's last drink and the "official" Founding date of Alcoholics Anonymous.
It now appears that the date of Dr. Bob's last drink was probably on, or about, June 17, 1935. Maybe AA should keep the June 10th date as a symbolic Founding Date rather than claim it as the actual one? Maybe the date should be changed to reflect historical accuracy? Either way, Dr. Bob never drank again until his death, November 16, 1950. Dr. Bob sponsored more than 5,000 AA members and left the legacy of his life as an example. Dr. Bob told those he sponsored that there were three things one had to do to keep sober:
The operation was a success and Dr. Bob did not return home right after it. Both Bill and Anne were concerned to say the least. They later found out, after Dr. Bob had returned, that he was out making amends. Not drunk as they may have surmised, but happy and sober. That date Dr. Bob stayed sober on Monday until after dinaccording to the AA literature was June 10, TRUST GOD, CLEAN HOUSE, HELP OTHner. He then resumed his drinking. Upon awak1935. ERS. ening Tuesday morning his drinking continued until noon. He then realized that he was about to June 10, 1935 has been disgrace himself by showing up at the convenconsidered as AA's tion drunk. Founding Date for many years. After all, it 24-Hour Blackout was the date Dr. Bob He decided to check out of the hotel and return had his last drink - or home. He purchased more alcohol on the way to was it? Recently disevidence the train depot. He waited for the train for a long covered time and continued to drink. That was all he appears to differ with remembered until waking up in the home of his the "official" literature. office nurse and her husband back in Ohio. The "Official" Date Dr. Bob's blackout lasted over 24 hours. There was a five-day period from when Dr. Bob left The Archives of the Medical for the convention to when the nurse called American Anne and Bill. They took Dr. Bob home and put Association reportedly him to bed. The detoxification process began show that their convenonce again. That process usually lasted three tion in Atlantic City, in days according to Bill. They tapered Dr. Bob off the year 1935 did not start until June 10th.
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Rebecca B.:
Oh Lord - He's an Auburn Fan!
In the south there is one thing that polarizes its citizenry like very little else. Its loyalty exists year round, however the focused obsession occurs a few months out of each year ~ it is… SEC Football. Growing up in the great state of Alabama, there is one thing which is determined, (for the most part), at birth ~ you will either be for Auburn or you will be for Alabama. It is safe to say that very few newborns don't have at least one piece of clothing identifying this loyalty even before leaving the hospital. Most kids just automatically inherit the team from their parents. But of course some kids come from broken homes ~ and when I say broken, I mean that one parent is for Auburn and one is for Alabama. It can be a confusing time for a little kid, what with trying to figure out who to be for, how to navigate "The BIG Game day" and especially…trying to figure out what to do when their parents quit speaking ~ because it's a guarantee that one day a year, there will be under one roof, the champion and the defeated. It should also be noted, that your team could have won ALL season, but if at the Iron Bowl your team lost…then you ARE the defeated. For myself, I came from one of those homes. Mine had the extra oddness that my father had attended both Arkansas and Auburn - but was a die hard Alabama fan. My mother and sister were straight up Auburn fans. But I was a daddy's girl and from as long as I can remember, I was a solid Alabama fan. It was me and my dad all the way on Game Day! As a young kid I had the standard AL sweatshirts, t-shirts, sweat pants and shorts. I just couldn't imagine rooting for any other team - EVER. You see one thing was a given - whatever team "you were" (because it absolutely was part of your personal identity) - you NEVER changed that. If you were born Alabama or Auburn…then you died Alabama or Auburn. Iron Bowl day was the time I enjoyed the most with my dad, where football was concerned. If we won, we would both laugh at how irritated my mom would become. My sister on the other hand was quite skilled - at never letting any disappointment show, which threw a wrench in my attempts to rub it in. My best friend growing up had a similar family setting. She, her mom and her brother were die hard Auburn fans and her step dad, step brother and step sister - they were all for Alabama. It was ALWAYS interesting to see what happened after Game Day at their house ~ being that they were so dedicated and all…it was usually better than watching the TV! My identity as an Alabama fan carried on through my adulthood. Iron Bowl after Iron Bowl - rooting on my team. Other than my family and my faith, I'd say the only other true consistency in my entire life had been my loyalty to the Alabama Crimson Tide. Predominately most of my friends were Alabama fans, other than those few that I loved even though they were for the other team. It was June 2001 and I had just moved back into my own place, following a year living with my parents after a difficult divorce. I had taken the oath that people often do following such an experience - "I will NEVER get into another relationship again!" I had actually stuck to my guns for just over a year. But one day walking back from fishing at my apartments, I heard a voice calling me and when I looked up I saw a very cute guy on his balcony and panicked - I ran home, locked the door & renewed my oath "out loud" immediately! About a week later I was fishing and he actually pulled up in his boat in front of me and invited me to ride. Scanning the lake and realizing that from any angle I could swim to shore if necessary…I agreed. Long story short, after our second date we were inseparable. It was as if I'd known him my whole life. He was cute, funny, smart and just great to be around. There was just one problem… he was one of them ~ an Auburn fan. In fact, the most obsessed fan I'd ever met from EITHER team!
Our relationship grew over the coming months and as football season approached - that delicate unaddressed area of our lives simply HAD to be discussed. As much as I hated to admit it to myself, his obsessive fanaticism was FAR beyond the scope of my own - to the point he expressed feeling that he could not handle our being together with opposing loyalties. Let me tell you, what he was asking was like a punch in the gut. I had never even considered such a thing. It was crazy! But what could I do? I loved the guy - so I did the only thing I could do…I went and asked my dad how he would feel about that. My dad laughed of course, as I assured him that my loyalty to The Bear and Joe Namath were off limits in this deal! Time went by and I slowly adjusted to being at Auburn games, surrounded by Auburn people and even the tailgate site with all of his crazy radical fan friends. However there was one ritualistic aspect of their pregame jubilation that I politely refused to participate in ~ that of kicking and stomping on a stuffed Alabama Elephant for good luck. (To me it was utterly barbaric!) The mere thought of it caused me to have a slight sense of disorientation. Then the day came…the Iron Bowl. To make it more bizarre, (as if that were possible), the game was at Auburn, I was sitting in a sea of orange and blue and to top it all off…I was wearing Auburn clothes. I can't begin to explain how horrible I felt as I looked across the field of play at that sea of crimson and white. As the game proceeded into the first quarter, suddenly it happened, (amidst the cheering of AU fans in my section - as the cheers were being lead by the new love of my life), my body began to sweat, my hands began to tremble, and I became dizzy, nauseous, cold and pale. I couldn't take it anymore! I got up and ran for the bathroom - Out of courtesy, it is here my descriptions will cease. Yes…this unforeseen change in my life seemed at that moment to be an impossible obstacle that I would not be able to overcome. However, love is a funny and powerful thing - because no matter how bad I felt…what could I do? I loved the guy! I remember when I was first introduced to the idea of living sober - I looked at those people talking to me with amazement in my mind. Why in the WORLD would I EVER want to do that?! I could simply not imagine a life without alcohol and what's more, I couldn't imagine why anyone would think that was EVER going to happen! The mere thought of it made me feel sick, nauseous and panic stricken. However, I really didn't have anything against those folks that were sharing with me - so I hung around them a little bit at first, usually watching from a safe distance, ever so slowly getting closer and closer. The more I did, the more I saw how peaceful they were. I came to see that the life they were living was not so bad, as I had first thought. I began to see that they were actually happy and didn't have near the problems that seemed to plague me. Eventually the thought of sobriety as a lifestyle didn't seem so bad & in time what had seemed so unnatural, so unthinkable ~ became my norm. Months passed and our friendship flourished. We married and after a couple of years my husband even ended up on the cover of Auburn Magazine as the "Fanatic Fan" with me in the background ~ how crazy is that? Even crazier - I became a HUGE Auburn fan as well! Of course my dad and I still share our laughs and my husband has always honored my boundaries with The Bear and Joe Namath. Love is a funny thing isn't it? Whether it is for someone else or for ourself…it can make us do things we never thought we would do, go where we never thought we would go and experience what we didn't even know we were missing. (Copyright by Rebecca B.) - BeccainBham@aol.
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Do you want to help those people in your life currently caught in the grips of the progressive and fatal disease of addiction…to get the very life saving help that they need? Do you want to spread the message that WE DO RECOVER? To make an impact on YOUR community one person at a time? The Life Saver’s Club is a recovery resource offered by The Watershed Addiction Treatment Programs and is unique in that we don’t simply offer help to those who are going to come HERE. We have a department of full time Resource Specialists, who are trained and experienced in throwing out a life line to those who are suffering with facilities and services in their area that will fit whatever budget or financial situation that they may have. By joining and becoming a member, you can have the peace of mind in knowing that the person you refer to call us will receive prompt attention and that NO REFERRAL goes unassisted. Becoming a member is fast and easy! Simply go to our new web site: www.LivesinRecovery.com and register or give us a call at 877-416-9566 Ext.88426 and start the process of healing for those around you needing help! Membership benefits include: Acknowledgements, Recognition Gifts, Intervention Materials, Life Saver’s Club Cards and soon Educational Packets that will enable you to be an educator about addiction and recovery for your community and more! The Watershed’s Support Team is available 24/7 for any questions or support you may need along the way.
We look forward to hearing from YOU soon!!! Rebecca Balko, C.A.C. Alumni Department Manager # 877-416-9566 (Ext.88204) Rbalko@thewatershed.com
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Giving It Back In Love and Service
The Hill
In the age of grand treatment centers with their marble tiled bathrooms and elegant brochures, too often the focus is centered around maintaining a glamorous external shell rather than on real inner substance. As fellow sufferers we know this failed design all too well. We see it every day with newcomers at the gym or in the salon- false outsides compensating for hollow insides. Perhaps our society's all hype blockbuster style of marketing is to blame. Didn't comedian Bill Hicks tell all the marketers to go kill themselves? Perhaps my perception is tainted. I live in South Florida where halfway houses and treatment centers are as common as a Walgreens. 'Pain clinics' fight to keep up with professional treatment in a constant territorial battle for the souls of those active sufferers of our disease. The anonymous recovery groups stay out of the madness and wait for the next newcomer at the door with a cup of coffee and a personal story. Through my own experience I found myself caught, not just in one revolving door, but two. The doors of addiction and professional help spun me so much that when I did arrive to the rooms of recovery my idea of sobriety was so off-beam that I missed the message and went back to the only solution I knew. Eventually I got sober with the sole aid of the rooms after the usual tale of self-destruction. As the months have turned into years I have watched the numberless faces come and go. A vast majority of newcomers in my area begin their journey in treatment centers or in halfway houses. Few are first timers. Like the geography, South Florida is a last stop for the desperate seeking a sober life. Too often these individuals keep running until finding their seat in prison or death. A few weeks ago I was asked to attend a meeting at a newly erected facility in Boca Raton, Florida. Or was it months? Time moves with such ease these days. I asked if it was a treatment center or a halfway house. I was told neither. I wanted to contend that if it was a recovery facility it had to be one or the other. But I restrained my tongue, saving myself a semantic battle. "What's it called?"
"The Hill." Good name, I thought. It was simple and had that mysterious hook which makes something unforgettable. Throughout history battles have been fought and won on hills. Sun Tzu's Art of War says, "Where there are hills and embankments, you must position on the sunny side." As I drove to attend the meeting at this strange, new place I wondered which side of the hill this facility might face. I pulled off the road onto a circular gravel driveway that was barren in the middle except for an absurdly tall pole hoisting an American flag. An H-shaped building made up the grounds. From what I was told later, the residence was once a radar training facility for the military some many twenty-fours ago. The odd mix of new and old gave the obvious impress of renovations at work. The spirit of hope was fierce- from the fresh white paint on the flagpole to the unmasked smiles of the newly sober. No degrees of higher learning were framed on these walls. Rather, step two kept sobriety hanging in the balance for these young students of recovery. The presence of God was unmistakable. The meeting was held in what was envisioned to become a banquet hall. But at present the back room held a variety of chairs and furniture pieces haphazardly stacked in piles that looked like makeshift barricades. The last moments of sunlight burned across the clusters of donated gear like the fires among a sugarcane field during harvest. Inviting couches were placed in a semi-circle around the unoccupied surface area. A sole work light sat above the speaker's podium casting a beam of light behind the speaker as the earth turned away from the sun's final gaze and a meeting of faith and direction began‌ The Hill is a unique sanctuary. As I write this article I fear in doing so I will bring that awful publicity which can so easily rob a place of its charm. Yet, the people who call the Hill home want me to share the grace that is being born there. Perhaps the aim of this writing is to pass the simple reminder that amidst the fast, glitter coated world in which we live, real victory over alcoholism through quiet acts of faith persists.
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Giving It Back In Love and Service
MEEP
As suffers of addiction, we enter into recovery as individuals who soon become engrossed in the "we" aspect of a spiritual program. Shedding off our old ideas of personal gain and feelings of entitlement, we begin asking ourselves how to start our journey toward giving back what was freely given to us. Naturally, we gravitate toward our fellow sufferers, knowing that we possess a distinct wisdom of personal experience, which allows us to be of aid in manners that others could not. However, in Boca Raton, Florida, some men and women of recovery are carrying their message of spiritual principles further by being of service to their local community. Anon-mously, business owners and investors, among a few, are collaborating together, "to provide lightly-used medical equipment to community residents regardless of age, gender, need or any other protected status," according to the organization's website at www.exchangeproject.org. This collaboration provides medical equipment and transportation of these goods to the individual in need without any financial compensation. The Medical Equipment Exchange Project Inc. (MEEP), founded on October of 2008, is a 501-C3 non-profit organization. The project was formed from the inspiration of a non-profit organization, Sayville Cabinet for the Sick, which has served its local community for over thirty years by freely giving away lightly used medical equipment in Gillette Park of Long Island, New York. MEEP aims to be of service to those in need of medical equipment in a simple, no questions asked policy. By reaching out to their community, the volunteers of MEEP have been welcomed by local religious organizations, healthcare providers and for-profit businesses excited to join hands in helping others.
Recently, MEEP provided an elderly woman in Ft. Lauderdale with a hospital shower chair and a wheel chair in order to help make her life more comfortable before she entered Hospice. Similarly, a wheel chair was provided by MEEP to a young man in recovery from addiction, Joshua H. of Boca Raton, who was injured in a motorcycle accident. "People brought meetings into my home, but it just wasn't the same. [MEEP] allowed me to get to places. I wasn't stranded at my house," says Joshua. According to Joshua, MEEP came to his house at no charge to deliver the wheel chair. "All I had to do was sign a piece of paper," said Joshua. Donated transportation allows MEEP to move, free of charge, medical equipment within the local area from those giving to recipients in need, who would otherwise be unable to receive care because of mobility and/or financial restrictions. As a company seeking Green certification, MEEP recycles medical equipment that would ordinarily be dumped in landfills or sold for scrap metal by redistributing them to those afflicted with health concerns. MEEP serves a portion of south Florida from Ft. Lauderdale north to Boynton Beach, Pahokee east to the Florida shore. The board of directors for MEEP presently consists of ten individuals in recovery and one non-addicted accountant. Currently, MEEP is need of donated canes, walkers, wheelchairs, medical mobility scooters, shower chairs, new potty chairs and hospital beds. For more information or to make a financial and/or physical contribution, visit www.exchangeproject.org or email: donations@exchangeproject.org.
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Because Of Love A brother and sister had made their usual hurried, obligatory preChristmas visit to the little farm where dwelt their elderly parents with their small herd of horses. The farm was where they had grown up and had been named Lone Pine Farm because of the huge pine, which topped the hill behind the farm. Through the years the tree had become a talisman to the old man and his wife, and a landmark in the countryside. The young siblings had fond memories of their childhood here, but the city hustle and bustle added more excitement to their lives, and called them away to a different life. The old folks no longer showed their horses, for the years had taken their toll, and getting out to the barn on those frosty mornings was getting harder, but it gave them a reason to get up in the mornings and a reason to live. They sold a few foals each year, and the horses were their reason for joy in the morning and contentment at day's end.
was nothing anyone could do now. The old man turned to his wife, resting her white head upon his shoulders as his shaking old hands clumsily dried her tears with a frayed red bandana. Brokenly he whispered, "We have lost much, but God has spared our home on this eve of Christmas. Let us gather strength and climb the hill to the old pine where we have sought comfort in times of despair. We will look down upon our home and give thanks to God that it has been spared and pray for our beloved most precious gifts that have been taken from us. And so, he took her by the hand and slowly helped her up the snowy hill as he brushed aside his own tears with the back of his old and withered hand.
The journey up the hill was hard for their old bodies in the steep snow. As they stepped over the little knoll at the crest of the hill, they paused to rest, looking up to the top of the hill the old couple gasped Angry, as they prepared to leave, the young and fell to their knees in amazement at couple confronted the old folks "Why do you not at least dispose of 'The the incredible beauty before them. Old One'. She is no longer of use to you. It's been years since you've had foals from her. You should cut corners and save so you can have more for Seemingly, every glorious, brilliant star in the heavens was caught up in yourselves. How can this old worn out horse bring you anything but the glittering, snow-frosted branches of their beloved pine, and it was expense and work? Why do you keep her anyway?" aglow with heavenly candles. And poised on its top most bough, a crystal crescent moon glistened like spun glass. Never had a mere mortal creThe old man looked down at his worn boots, holes in the toes, scuffed at ated a Christmas tree such as this. They were breathless as the old man the barn floor and replied, " Yes, I could use a pair of new boots". held his wife tighter in his arms. His arm slid defensively about the Old One's neck as he drew her near Suddenly, the old man gave a cry of wonder and incredible joy. Amazed with gentle caressing he rubbed her softly behind her ears. He replied and mystified, he took his wife by the hand and pulled her forward. There, softly, "We keep her because of love. Nothing else, just love." beneath the tree, in resplendent glory, a mist hovering over and glowing in the darkness was their Christmas gift. Shadows glistening in the night Baffled and irritated, the young folks wished the old man and his wife a light. Merry Christmas and headed back toward the city as darkness stole through the valley. Bedded down about the "Old one" close to the trunk of the tree, was the entire herd, safe. The old couple shook their heads in sorrow that it had not been a happy visit. A tear fell upon their cheeks. How is it that these young folks do not At the first hint of smoke, she had pushed the door ajar with her muzzle understand the peace of the love that filled their hearts? and had led the horses through it. Slowly and with great dignity, never looking back, she had led them up the hill, stepping cautiously through So it was, that because of the unhappy leave-taking, no one noticed the the snow. The foals were frightened and dashed about. The skittish yearinsulation smoldering on the frayed wires in the old barn. None saw the lings looked back at the crackling, hungry flames, and tucked their tails first spark fall. None but the "Old One". under them as they licked their lips and hopped like rabbits. The mares that were in foal with a new years crop of babies, pressed uneasily against In a matter of minutes, the whole barn was ablaze and the hungry flames the "Old One" as she moved calmly up the hill and to safety beneath the were licking at the loft full of hay. With a cry of horror and despair, the pine. And now she lay among them and gazed at the faces of the old man old man shouted to his wife to call for help as he raced to the barn to save and his wife. their beloved horses. But the flames were roaring now, and the blazing heat drove him back. He sank sobbing to the ground, helpless before the Those she loved she had not disappointed. Her body was brittle with fire's fury. His wife back from calling for help cradled him in her arms, years, tired from the climb, but the golden eyes were filled with devotion clinging to each other, they wept at their loss. as she offered her gift-Because of love. Only Because of love. By the time the fire department arrived, only smoking, glowing ruins were left, and the old man and his wife, exhausted from their grief, hud- Tears flowed as the old couple shouted their praise and joy... And again dled together before the barn. They were speechless as they rose from the the peace of love filled their hearts. cold snow covered ground. They nodded thanks to the firemen as there This is a true story. Willy Eagle
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The BEACHCOMBER Family Center For The Treatment Of Alcoholism and Drug Addiction 4493 North Ocean Boulevard
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Twelve Step Prayers From: The Twelve Step Prayers were created using the text of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. The text used to develop the prayers are shown at the end of the prayer in parenthesis. My hope is that these prayers will provide a framework for you to develop your own or expand on the wording below.
4th Step Resentment Prayer:
"God, Please help me to be free of anger and to see that the world and its people have dominated me. Show me that the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, has the power to actually kill me. Help me to master my resentments by understanding that the people who wrong me were perhaps spiritually sick. Please help me show those I resent the The Set Aside Prayer: same Tolerance, Pity and Patience that I would cheerfully grant a sick "Dear God please help me to set aside everything I think I know about friend. Help me to see that this is a sick man. Father, please show me how I can be helpful to him and save me from [people. place or thing] so I may have an open being angry. Lord, help me to avoid retaliation mind and a new experience. Please help me to or argument. I know I can’t be helpful to all see the truth about [people. place or thing]?. people, but at least show me how to take a kindAMEN." (This prayer comes from the Chapter ly and tolerant view of each and every one. Thy to the Agnostic.) will be done." (66:2, 66:3, 66:4, 67:0, 67:1)
First Step Prayer Dear Lord, Help me to see and admit that I am powerless over my alcoholism. Help me to understand how my alcoholism has led to unmanageability in my life. Help me this day to understand the true meaning of powerlessness. Remove from me all denial of my alcoholism. (This prayer is developed from the chapter, More About Alcoholism)
Second Step Prayer
A Pre-Fifth Step Prayer: God, please help me to complete my housecleaning by admitting to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs. Please remove any fears I have about this step and show me how completion of it will remove my egotism and fear. Help me to see how this step builds my character through humility, fearlessness and honesty. Direct me to the right person who will keep my confidence and fully understand and approve what I am driving at. Then help me to pocket my pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past so I may complete this step and begin to feel near to you." (72:1, 72:2, 73:0, 74:2, 75:2)
Heavenly Father, I am having trouble with personal relationships. I can’t control my emotional nature. I am prey to misery and depression. I can’t make a living. I feel useless. I am full of fear. I am unhappy. I can’t seem to be of real help to others. I know in my heart that only you can restore me to sanity if I am just willing to stop doubting your Fifth Step Prayer power. I humbly ask that you help me to understand that it is more powerful to believe than not to believe and that you are either everyHigher Power, Thank you for helping me complete my housecleaning. thing or nothing. (p. 52:2, 52:3, 53:1, 53:2) I can now look the world in the eye. I can be alone at perfect peace and ease. My fears have fallen from me. I have begun to feel your nearness. 3rd Step Prayer: I have begun to have a spiritual experience. I feel I am on the Broad "God, I offer myself to thee - to build with me and do with me as Thou Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe. (75:2) wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to A Quiet Hour Prayer: those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and Thy Way of life. May "God, Thank You for giving me the strength, faith and courage I needI do Thy will always!" (63:2 original manuscript) ed to get through my 5th Step. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me to know you better, by showing me what has been A Pre-Inventory Prayer: blocking me from you. Father, please show me if I have omitted any"God, please help me to honestly take stock. Help me to search out the thing and help me to honestly see if my stones are properly in place or flaws in my make-up which caused my failure. Help me to see where if I have skimped in any area of this work."(75:3) resentment has plagued me and resulted in spiritual malady, but more importantly help me to understand my part in these resentments. Help A 6th Step prayer: me to resolutely look for my own mistakes and to understand where I had been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened. Please help "God, Thank you for removing my fear and for showing me the truth me to be searching and fearless in my endeavor to write my invento- about myself. Father, I need your help to become willing to let go of the things in me which continue to block me off from you. Please grant ry." (p. 64:2, 64:3, 67:2) me your Grace Lord and make me willing to have these objectionable characteristics, defects and shortcomings removed." (76:1)
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The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous Sixth Step Prayer:
The Eleventh Step Prayers:
Dear God, I am ready for Your help in removing from me the defects A Prayer On Awakening: of character which I now realize are an obstacle to my recovery. Help me to continue being honest with myself & guide me toward spiritual "God please direct my thinking and keep my thoughts divorced from & mental health. (76:1) self – pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Please keep my thought life clear from wrong motives and help me employ my mental faculties, that my thought-life might be placed on a higher plane, Seventh Step Prayer the plane of inspiration." (86:2) "My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good & bad. I pray that A Morning Prayer: you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my "God, should I find myself agitated, doubtful usefulness to you & my fellows. Grant me or indecisive today, please give me inspirastrength, as I go out from here to do Your bidtion, help me to have an intuitive thought or a ding." (76:2) decision about this problem I face. Help me not to struggle, instead, help me to relax and take it easy. Help me know what I should do A Pre-Eighth Step Prayer: and keep me mindful, that you are running the show. Free me from my bondage of self. "God, Please remove my Fears and show me Thy will be done always." (86:3) your truth. Show me all the harms I have caused with my behavior and help me be willing to make amends to one and all. Help me to A Morning Prayer: be willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol."(76:3) "God, please show me all through this day, what my next step is to be and please grace me with whatever I need to take care of the 9th Step Prayer : problems in my life today. I ask especially that you free me from the "God, with regard to this amend, give me the strength, courage and bondage of self-will."(87:1) direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences may be. Help me not to shrink from anything. Help me not to delay if it can be avoided. Help me to be sensible, tactful, considerate An Eleventh Step Nightly Review Prayer: and humble without being servile or scraping."(79:1, 83:3)
Tenth Step Prayer: My Higher Power, My daily prayer is to best serve you, I pray I may continue to grow in understanding & effectiveness; Help me to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear; Help me to be willing to have You remove them at once; I must be willing to discuss them with someone immediately; I will make amends quickly if I have harmed anyone; And then I will turn my thoughts toward helping someone else; Please help me to remember to practice love and tolerance of others. (84:2)
Tenth Step Amends Prayer: "God, please forgive me for my failings today. I know that because of my failings, I was not able to be as effective as I could have been for you. Please forgive me and help me live thy will better today. I ask you now to show me how to correct the errors I have just outlined. Guide me and direct me. Please remove my arrogance and my fear. Show me how to make my relationships right and grant me the humility and strength to do thy will."(86:1)
"God, help me to constructively review my day. Where was I resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do I owe an apology? Have I kept something to myself which should be discussed with another person at once? Was I kind and loving toward all? What could I have done better? Was I thinking of myself most of the time? Or was I thinking of what I could do for others, of what I could pack into the stream of life? Please forgive me for my harms and wrongs today and let me know corrective measures I should be take.?" (86:2)
Twelfth Step Prayer Dear God, Having had a spiritual experience, I must now remember that "faith without works is dead." And PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. So, God, please help me to carry this message to other alcoholics! Provide me with the guidance and wisdom to talk with another alcoholic because I can help when no one else can. Help me secure his confidence and remember he is ill. (89:1)
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Rule 62 Page
Lip Balm Anonymous Self Test
Self-Evaluation and Testimony In order to determine if you are having a problem with lip balm addiction, please read through the self test below and read some testimony from former and current users of lip balm. You’ll see your own addiction in their testimony. Not all have fully recovered yet, but there is hope for all of them.
Lip Balm Anonymous SelfTest for Lip Balm Addiction Do you ever use more lip balm than you planned? Has the use of lip balm interfered with your job? Is your lip balm use causing conflict with your spouse or family? Do you feel depressed, guilty, or remorseful after you use lip balm? Do you use whatever lip balm you have almost continuously until the supply is exhausted? Do you ever wish that you had never taken that first application or hit of lip balm? Do you have an obsession to get lip balm when you don’t have it? Are you experiencing financial difficulties due to your lip balm use? Do you experience an anticipation high just knowing you are about to use lip balm? Without using lip balm, do you have difficulty sleeping without taking a drink or another drug? Are you absorbed with the thought of getting coated even while interacting with a friend or loved one? Have you begun to use lip balm while alone? Do your lips, nose, or other areas hurt when you avoid Lip Balm? Do you ever have feelings that people are talking about you or watching you? Do you use larger doses of lip balm to get the same protection you once experienced?
Have you tried to quit or cut down on your lip balm use only to find that you couldn’t? Have any of your friends or family suggested that you may have a problem? Have you ever lied to or misled those around you about how much or how often you use? Do you use lip balm in your car, at work, in the bathroom, on airplanes, or other public places? Do you occasionally coat heavily after a disappointment, quarrel or rough day? When under pressure, do you always use more heavily than usual? Can you handle more lip balm now than when you first started using? When using with others, do you try to have a few extra coats when they won't know it? Are there certain occasions when you feel uncomfortable if lip balm is not available? When you start using, are you in more of a hurry to get the first hit than you used to be? Are you secretly irritated when friends or family discuss your lip balm use? Do you usually have a reason for occasions when you use heavily? Have you tried to control your lip balm use by switching brands or following different plans? Have you often failed to keep promises about controlling your lip balm? Have you tried to control your lip balm use by changing jobs or moving? Do you try to avoid family or friends while using? Are you having an increasing number of financial and work problems? Do more people seem to be treating you unfairly without reason? Have you ever decided to stop using for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
Do you wish people would mind their own business about your lip balm use--stop telling you what to do? Is lip balm affecting your reputation? Do you crave lip balm at a definite time daily? Does lip balm cause you to have difficulty sleeping? Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of lip balm? Are you afraid that if you stop using lip balm your work will suffer or you will lose your energy, motivation, or confidence? Do you spend time with people or in places you otherwise would not be around but for the availability of lip balm? Have you ever stolen lip balm or money from friends or family? Can you apply lip balm with one hand? If you have answered Yes to any of these questions, you may have a lip balm dependency problem.
Testimonials Kevin C. is the founder of Lip Balm Anonymous. When I started to go without, it was hard. After a week passed and the cold shakes and throbbing pain in the lips subsided. After a two weeks I stopped carrying the Chap Stick tube in my pocket. After three weeks I rarely felt I wanted to use, and when I did it was easy to resist. Life became much clearer for me. The whole world seemed to have changed for the better, looking so much like paradise. I think being on the stuff really clouded my judgement. Now, I go though life with a sense of power and clarity that I feel like I can accomplish anything. Sure, it is frightening sometimes, but the strength I feel inside helps me when I am confronted by social use of lip balm. At age 14, Heather W. is already in recovery! I was a lip balm user.
I had every flavor: apple, watermelon, vanilla, Dr. Pepper, Coke, pink lemonade, coconut (I cried when I lost that one) Jellybean, peanut butter, mint, mint chocolate chip, chocolate, milkshake, tropical fruit, mango, kiwi, apricot, apple cider, coffee, fudge brownie, gingerbread, shortbread, Carmex, cherry ice, Chap Stick, cherry, Avon, Soft Lips Sparkle Mint, bubblegum, pumpkin, Vaseline, pineapple, grape, lemon, orange, mandarin AND EVERY OTHER FLAVOR OUT THERE!!!!!! It all started when my neighbor became an Avon lady. I ordered every flavor there was. I was her best customer. Then we moved. So I resorted to Lip Smackers, Liplix, Carmex, Chap Stick, and most of all, Softlips. I also enjoyed the Body Shop and Bath & Body Works. Then one day, I said "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! I AM IN DEBT, I GO INTO WITHDRAWS WITH OUT MY LIP BALM, I NEED HELP! (at least my lips were soft) So just like that I quit. I tossed my lip balms, only keeping a few, for the once a day gloss. I am now down to a $.99 Barney Children’s Lipgloss from Target. I use it only when needed. You can stop. I know you can. My only problem now are the many tubes of lipstick appearing in my house. All shades, shapes and sizes. OH NO. NOT AGAIN. HELP ME!!!! Let us ban together and get a warning label on these lip devices. http://www.kevdo.com/lipbalm/ho me.html
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The Road of Life At first, I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track said, "Give the gifts away. They're extra baggage, too much of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited weight."So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in givheaven or hell when I die. God was out there sort of like a pres- ing I received,and still our burden was light. ident.. I recognized God's picture when I saw it, but I really I did not trust God, at first, in control of my life. I thought didn't know God. But later on when I met God would wreck it; but God knows bike God, it seemed as though life were rather secrets, knows how to make it bend to take like a bike ride,but it was a tandem bike, and sharp corners, knows how to jump to clear high I noticed that God was in the back helping rocks, knows how to fly to shorten, scary pasme pedal. I don't know just when it was that sages. And I am learning to shut up and pedal in He suggested we change places, but life has the strangest places, and I'm beginning to not been the same since. enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face When I had control, I knew the way. It with my delightful constant companion, God. was rather boring, but predictable it was And when I'm sure I just can't do it anythe shortest distance between two points. more, God just smiles and says... "Pedal." But when God took the lead, God knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and Whatever your cross through rocky places at breakneck speeds. Whatever your pain It was all I could do to hang on! There will always be sunshine. Even though it looked like madness, God said, "Pedal!" I worAfter the rain ried and was anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me?" Perhaps you may stumble God only laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn to Perhaps even fall trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure, But God's always there and when I'd say, "I'm scared," God would lean back and touch To help you through it all. my hand. I gained love, peace, acceptance and joy; gifts to take Get pedaling! on my journey, My God's and mine. And we were off again.God