The Solution News Since 1991 July/August 2009
Recovery
Happy, Joyous and Always Free!!
Growth
Renewal
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The Solution News Contents Page 4 - Dave’s Page: A New Freedom
Page 20 - Brain Teasers & Horoscope
Page 5 - Step Twelve In Action
Page 23 - The Brooklyn Bridge
Page 6 - Tobacco Addiction Intervention
Page 24 - Enlightened Perspective
Page 7 - Hotlines and Helplines
Page 26 - Wisdom of The Dalai Lama
Page 8 - Why We Celebrate 4th
Page 27 - The Wit of Steve Martin
Page 9 - The Watershed Page
Page 28 - The Fifties
Page 10 & 11 - Events
Page 30 - Readers Write
Page 12 - Making Amends
Page 31 - Mel B: Why God Says No
Page 14 - Penelope Love:Fail-Safe Compatibility Page 32 - Non-Narcotic Pain Management Page 33 - Aphorisms Page 15 - Snowbriety: Summer Seductions Page 16 - Rebecca B.: A Ten Second Ride
Page 34 - Chef Lester’s Sober Sideboard
Page 17 - Reverend Leo: Spiritual Situations
Page 36 - Parting Shots
Page 18 - A Modest Proposal For Treatment
Page 38 - Parting Shots & Word Search
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Dave’s
Page Over the past two months life has been very busy, chaotic and unsettled in ways that it has not been for a long time. The end of April we spent packing home and office in preparation for a move to New Hampshire. The move was the realization of the dream of living in my native New England in the good seasons while spending the bad months in my home of 16 years, South Florida. The month of May was spent “on the road”; first driving our old Saab up here 1,800 miles to find an apartment, then flying back and filling a 16 foot Penske truck with all our earthly possessions and doing the 1,800 mile drive to New Hampshire all over again. We found a beautiful second floor apartment in an Edward Hopperish old Victorian complete with barn and golden pine hardwood floors. The apartment has plenty of room for my artist wife Maura’s painting studio and my own office with plenty of room to spare. The barn connects to the apartment and I quickly installed an old
“A New Freedom” record player, my Telecaster guitar and woodworking tools so I have a “mans room” to escape the office, the computer and the telephone. Life is good. No sooner had we unpacked the last box and began to settle in than I received a call from my brother in Connecticut. My father was gravely ill, in emergency surgery, and we needed to get there right away. The blessing that is my life today allowed me to take the month of June and be with my mother and father and brothers. Today my Dad is on the mend in rehab, I am back home in Manchester awaiting the fireworks that are set off every year in honor of my July 5 birthday. This year is my 64th. I am happy, healthy and beginning to find time to reflect on the past several months We say in the program that we will find “a new freedom” and in finding this new freedom through the love and support of strangers and the daily presence of God in my life I have been given freedom’s gifts. As I sit here on the holiday weekend that celebrates our wonderful country’s independence I reflect upon freedom, independence and my freedom from dependence. Just as our country's founders threw off the chains of bondage to an outside force we have thrown off the chains of our addictions by joining together in fellowships of like minded, God inspired people. Our country was founded as one nation, under God and our founders came from many different concepts of that God while realizing the importance of reliance upon God for the success of our country. Once free to form a government the Declaration of Independence and Constitution defined our rights and freedoms. My program has allowed me to define my freedoms and the last two months have helped me to realize some of them. Today I have the freedom of choice, the freedom to take risks, the
freedom to prioritize and the freedom to develop a relationship with a God of my own definition. It was that God that blessed me with my sobriety and continues to do so. It was that God that saved my father from going through death’s door. The freedom of choice allows me to move, to be with my family, to chose those who I associate with and to choose how I spend my time.What a difference from being literally locked away and figuratively enslaved emotionally and spiritually. The freedom of choice allows me to accept what I want to in spiritual, political and program matters and discard the rest. The freedom to take risks has allowed me to relocate and run my Florida business through technology and good friends in Florida while starting a New England Edition of The Solution News. Taking risks puts me out there musically and with my photography no longer fearing judgement or scorn. The freedom to prioritize allows me to put life on hold to volunteer to work for a political candidate for a month or spend a month care giving those who so lovingly cared for me. I can prioritize on a daily basis with God’s help. Finally I have been give the freedom to develop a relationship with a God of my own definition; a God I have seen at work every day for the last two months and for the last thirty-two years. This God loves me unconditionally and is here for me now and as our Big Book says in the hereafter. Have I realized a new freedom? As in everything else in our program the truths are understatements. New freedoms have become a daily part of my life truly beyond my wildest dreams. All I have to do to find them is follow a few spiritual principles, keep God first and put my hand out to share this beautiful gift.
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St e p Tw e l v e I n A c t i o n Step Twelve of Alcoholics Anonymous consists of just 28 words: "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." Learning to do all this is not easy. To get started, divide the Step into three parts.
Kimberly, who acts as a sponsor for several women in recovery. Kimberly's sponsees call her daily, and each week she meets with them in person. "We talk, and I can see the physical pain that they release when they're unburdening the feelings that they've kept buried down inside of them," Kimberly says.
First comes the concept of "spiritual awakening." This has many meanings. For Bill W., the cofounder of AA, it was a sudden, dramatic and life-changing event. In his autobiography, Bill recalled that he was bathed in light and seized by an ecstasy beyond words:
The second part of Step Twelve is about carrying the message of recovery to other people. This needs to be done carefully. Some key points to remember are these:
"I stood upon a summit where a great wind blew. A wind not of air, but of spirit. In great, clean strength it blew right through me. Then came the blazing thought, "You are a free man.'" After that moment, Bill never took another drink. Yet in the book "Alcoholics
“Those “aha” moments are regular events for Kimberly” Anonymous," he explains that this kind of experience is not required for recovery. Instead, most spiritual awakening happens over time in a subtle and gradual way. "I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I've had a white-light spiritual awakening moment," says Kimberly M., a recovering alcoholic. "For me, a spiritual awakening is a whole different ball of wax--a moment of clarity when I can say ahhh . . . now I understand." Those "aha" moments are regular events for
* Talk to people when they are ready. The Twelve Steps are a program of attraction, not promotion. We draw people into the Steps by our own example. When the right time comes, they'll ask: "How can I get what you've got?" * Keep it simple. Our message for the person who's dependent on drugs is simply this: "I once was like you. Then I had a spiritual awakening as the result of the first eleven Steps. I have not gotten drunk or stoned since then." * Let go of labels. When talking to people, we don't refer to them as alcoholics or addicts. We merely tell our story and let other people decide if it rings true for them. * Avoid "two-stepping." This takes place when people fly directly from Step One to Step Twelve. Flush with euphoria, these people are ready to carry the message before they've done Steps Two through Eleven. This leads naturally to the third part of Step Twelve--practicing the principles "in all our affairs." For example, the first three Steps are about honesty. They remind us to tell the truth when our efforts to solve any problem have failed. In turn, being honest allows us to ask for help. In Step Four, we go deeper, practicing the prin-
ciple of self-observation. This means taking a "moral inventory" that shines a light on our strengths and shortcomings. In Step Five, we take what we've learned about ourselves and share it with others. Steps Six through Ten remind us to practice the principles of willingness and humility as we admit our mistakes and make amends.
“Step twelve boils down to the principle of brotherly love.” Step Eleven focuses on the principle of change. Nothing is static. We either grow in recovery or "coast" and become complacent. Prayer and meditation offer a source of guidance for acting wisely in any situation. For Michael Demask, dean of the Graduate School of Addiction Studies at Hazelden who shares his Twelve Step knowledge with students and patients, Step Twelve boils down to the principle of brotherly love: "When I was brought through the Twelve Steps, the act of carrying the message was conceptualized as loving people unconditionally enough to share my experience, strength and hope. Carrying the message to others gives me an opportunity to stay clean for one more day." This article and articles on pages 6 and 12 are from Hezelden’s Alive and Free foudn on their great website Hazelden.org. Thanks to Halzelden for permission to reprint these articles.
ADVANCED RECOVERY CENTER 1300 Park of Commerce, Delray Beach, FL 33435
Phone: 561-274-7417 Fax: 561-274-8715 TOLL FREE: 1-877-ARC-HOPE “Advanced extended care for the complicated and treatment-resistant addict.”
TO TAKE A VIRTUAL TOUR GO TO: www.arc-hope.net
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The Time to Intervene Among Tobacco Addicts is Now Despite nearly 40 years of warnings about the harmful effects of tobacco use and numerous public health campaigns, one in four Americans still smokes. That's a testament to the power of tobacco addiction and to the need for new ways to help people quit tobacco.
Today the opportunities to intervene are much improved. "Current treatments for tobacco dependence offer clinicians their greatest single opportunity to halt the loss of life, health, and happiness caused by this chronic condition,"
Figures from the U.S. Public Health Service help round out the picture:
The guidelines also recommend three medications to reduce nicotine withdrawal symptoms: the antidepressant bupropion (Zyban), the most commonly prescribed non-nicotine medication to deal with tobacco dependence, and clonidine and nortriptyline, two second-line medications that require more medical supervision.
* Tobacco use kills about 430,000 Americans each year, making it the country's leading cause of death and disease. * Smoking prevalence among adolescents has risen dramatically since 1990, with more than 3,000 children and adolescents becoming regular users of tobacco each day.
In addition, the guidelines highly endorse counseling and behavioral therapies for everyone who tries to quit tobacco. Counseling can help people solve problems such as weight gain and mood changes after quitting tobacco. Through counseling, people can also learn how to gain support from relatives, friends, and coworkers.
* Thirty-nine percent of tobacco-related death takes place in women -- a percentage that has more than doubled since 1965. Lung cancer is the number one killer of American women, surpassing breast cancer. * Medical care costs attributable to smoking have been estimated by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to be more than $50 billion annually, and tobacco use leads to a loss of earnings and productivity of about $47 billion note the authors of Treating Tobacco Use and yearly. Dependence, a clinical practice guideline released in 2000 by the U.S. Public Health Such figures qualify tobacco dependence as a Service. The guidelines were established to help public health epidemic, creating an acute need patients quit tobacco and are based on a comprefor intervention to save lives. hensive review of the medical literature pubIronically, the people most qualified to intervene lished from 1975 to 1999. -- physicians and other health care clinicians -usually have not done so. One study reported that only 15 percent of smokers who saw a physician were offered help with quitting tobacco. Only 21 percent of practicing physicians say that they have received adequate training to help their patients stop smoking, according to a survey of U.S. medical schools.
replacement therapies, these treatments aim to diminish the symptoms of withdrawal for people attempting to quit smoking. They work by allowing people to consume nicotine in steadily decreasing doses. All of them provide nicotine without the toxins found in cigarette smoke.
Most prominent in the updated guidelines is the fact that there are more medical treatments than ever before to help people quit. To begin, the guidelines list four kinds of nicotine replacement therapy: nicotine gum, the nicotine inhaler, nicotine nasal spray, and the nicotine patch. Technically known as nicotine
The guidelines offer strong evidence that tobacco cessation treatments are both effective and cost-effective relative to other medical and disease prevention interventions. It recommends that insurance plans reimburse for the cost of tobacco treatments. Dr. Michael Fiore, director of the Center for Tobacco Research and Intervention at the University of Wisconsin Medical School in Madison, headed the expert panel that developed Treating Tobacco Use and Dependence. He is upbeat about the odds for those who want to become tobacco-free, citing research that four out of 10 smokers can successfully quit. "If this 40 percent quit rate is applied for people who try repeatedly, there is a very high likelihood that any smoker committed to quitting can do so successfully," said Fiore.
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Hotlines and Helplines AA BROWARD COUNTY AA FLORIDA KEYS AA HOTLINE, North Palm Beach
954-462-0265 305-296-8654 561-655-5700
DEPRESSION - OVER 55 FAMILY CAREGIVER PROGRAM FLA. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
954-746-2055 305-292-8445 800-500-1119
AA HOTLINE, South Palm Beach AA HOTLINE Broward
561-276-4581 954-462-0265
FLORIDA BAR LAWYER’S REFERRAL
800-342-8011
FLORIDA HIV/AIDS HOTLINE
800-FLA-AIDS
954-462-7202
FLORIDA INJURY HELPLINE FLORIDA INTERGROUP AA FUTURE MEN-TEEN BOYS HELP FLORIDA PET GREIF SUPPORT GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS HEPATITIS-B HOTLINE
800-510-5553 407-276-4581 417-546-4171 352-392-4700 800-891-1740 800-891-0707
HEPATITIS HOTLINE HIV/AIDS HOTLINE HOSPICE HOSPICE/HOMECARE BY THE SEA JEWISH FAMILY& CHILD SERV LAWYER ASSISTANCE RECOVERY, INC LUPUS FOUNDATION OF S. FLORIDA MARIJUANA ANON. MIAMI HELPLINES
800-545-2437 800-352-2437 954-467-7423 800-3923189 561-684-8443 800-282-8981 561-642-1722 561-279-8606 800-766-6779 305-358-4357
MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS FOUNDATION
800-441-7055
NTNL. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE NAR-ANON, Broward
800-799-SAFE 954-584-6578
NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Palm Beach NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS, Broward
561-848-6262 954-476-9297
NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS gold coast
954-476-9297
NAT. CTR. ELDERLY ABUSE
800-96-ABUSE
NATIONAL RUNAWAYSWITCHBOARD
800-RUNAWAY
AA MIAMI DADE
305-371-7784
ABUSE REGISTRY
800-962-2873
ADD PARENTS SUPPORT
954-473-8644
AL ANON HOTLINE, Palm Beach
561-278-3481
AL ANON HOTLINE, Broward AL-ANON/AL-ATEEN
954-491-1915 8884ALANON
ALIEN ABDUCTION SUPPORT GROUP
954-698-6926
ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION
954-726-0002
ALZHEIMER’S COMMUNITY CARE AT RISK YOUTH PROGRAM BIG BROTHERS & SISTERS CAPITOL CITY YOUTH SERVICES
561-278-6649 727-726-8829 561-966-4120 850-576-6000
CATHOLIC DIOCESE OF ORLANDO
407-658-1818
CDC NATIONAL AIDS HOTLINE
800-342-2437
CHILD ABUSE HOTLINE
800-4ACHILD
COCAINE ANONYMOUS CODEPENDENTS ABNONYMOUS CONSUMER HOTLINE COSA (co-dependents of sex addicts) COUNCIL ON COMPULSIVE GAMBLING
954-779-7272 800-254-1333 800-848-3792 763-537-6904 800-426-7711
CRIMESTOPPERS CRIME LINE
800-458-TIPS 800-423TIPS
DASH (Divorced and Separated Help)
561-451-2312
NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE
800-SUICIDE
DEBTOR’S ANONYMOUS DEPRESSION & BIPOLAR SUPPORT DEPRESSION AND MANIC DEPRESSION
954.925.4068 813-878-2906 954-746-2055
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER
954-746-2055
OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS, Palm Beach
800-273-1696
OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS, Broward
954-476-9297
The Solution News
640 Beacon Street, Manchester, NH, 03104
Phone: 603-657-5580
Email: solutionpublishingcompany@gmail.com WEBSITE: solutionnews.org
The Solution is not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous or any other 12 Step Program although our content is directed towards those who have found the 12 Step philosophy to be a significant factor in their lives. The Solution News published by Sobersolution six times a year for people actively working on their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being. We are committed through articles and advertising to provide a broad spectrum of recovery, renewal and growth information. The opinions and facts are those of the writers and contributors. We seek to attract advertisers who represent their products and services with integrity but we urge readers to be wise consumers.
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Often, the things in life that are free make the most lasting and fondest memories. -----------------------------------------------Florida is home to many stunning beaches, and marvelous attractions. Enjoying a day out in Florida can generate lasting memories, and not cost a dime. Some of the locations may charge parking fees. The Selby Gallery in Sarasota presents free film and lectures throughout the year. Displays from worldrenowned designers and artists are also viewable at this free Florida activity. The Gumbo Limbo Nature Center in Boca Raton, Florida allows free admission to both the observation tower, and nature center. Visitors can view ospreys, turtles, and manatees from the tower. The National Key Deer Refuge located in Big Pine, Florida also offers free admission to the spacious park. For additional information, call 305-872-2239. Kelly Park in Apopka, Florida offers the opportunity to enjoy a natural wonder free of charge. Kelly Park is situated around a clear spring with rock spring bubble and inner tube stream riding at no charge. Visitors can tour the Lower Suwannee National Wildlife Refuge at no charge. This Chiefland, Florida attraction is home to over 90 species of birds. Bald eagles are the most popular feature of this free Florida attraction. Visitors can also witness white-tailed deer, alligators, and ducks at this attraction. The Boca Raton Historical Society offers free viewing of art displays and a tour of the historical building at no charge. Visitors to the Spanish River Park in Boca Raton, Florida can enjoy the beach, picnic facilities, and nature trails at no charge. The Old Dillard Museum was formerly a school for African-American children. Visitors can view the displays and musical instrument exhibits free of charge. The Manatee Viewing Center in Apollo Beach offers a free observation deck during the winter months. Special manatee displays and educational videos are also available. Native coastal birds and beautiful landscaping add to the serenity of this free Florida activity. Pack a lunch, leave behind the video games and cell phones and hit the road! Make some family memories this summer! In this world of constant text chat and multi tasking, we all need time to relax, create, use our imaginations and smell the roses!
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Therapists
Behavioral Health Techs
Are you looking for a place where the concept of "team" has deeper meaning? We are looking for caring, insightful therapists who are committed to the highest quality care for our patients and who have the desire to support those who are struggling with addiction. Our facilities offer our patients comfortable and safe surroundings to begin their journey of recovery. The Watershed is Joint Commission accredited and fully licensed by the State of Florida. Our therapists provide individual and group counseling to patients in our inpatient treatment program. The therapist is able to develop a relationship with the patient that begins in detox and lasts throughout the entire length of stay. The therapist functions within the limits of their licensure, registration and/or certification. Graduation from an accredited college or university with a Masters Degree in a health-related discipline; licensed and/or accredited applicants preferred. Experience with chemical dependency and/or dual diagnosis programs preferred. The Watershed welcomes recovering individuals to apply! Recovering individuals must have a minimum of 1 full year of abstinence from drugs/alcohol to eligible for employment.
Are you a caring, compassionate individual? Are you able to provide supervision and support for others in a thoughtful, respectful manner? If you have these qualities we encourage you to apply for a position as a Behavioral Health Technician, (BHT). Our BHT's are directly involved in providing quality care for patients as part of the overall team and are responsible for conducting meetings and providing structure for our patients during their treatment experience. As a BHT you are the frontline staff member, having frequent interactions with the patients throughout their stay. As a result you are in a position to have a positive impact on the patient's view toward recovery. The average day for a BHT involves a variety of activities; there isn't a lot of time spent in one place since our patient's care is conducted in different areas of the facility. The BHT should have a clear sense of personal boundaries and be able to enforce clearly established guidelines. People with their own personal recovery experience are encouraged to apply! Must have a minimum of 12 months of sobriety.
Alumni Coordinators
We are currently seeking hard working, customer service oriented individuals with excellent communication skills to become members of our team. The Call-Back Representatives will work collaboratively with the Admissions Coordinators in order to admit new patients into our treatment facilities. This position involves making follow-up calls to individuals who have previously called The Watershed seeking treatment but were never admitted into our facility. Our goal is to reach out to those who may have avoided treatment in the past and assist them with their struggles of addiction, by offering our treatment services. This position is full-time with some weekends involved & located in our Delray Beach, corporate building.A year or more of 12step recovery experience is very beneficial to anyone working in this position. Prior call-center and/or healthcare experience are a plus!
The Watershed’s newest department is that of the Alumni coordinators! Coordinators main focus is in making contact with ALL of Watershed’s alumni dating back to it’s doors opening in 1998! Through this effort any alumni who may have encountered relapse and needs help can be given a means to get back into their recovery and those who are maintaining recovery can be orientated to our current program which offers a variety of services, activities and opportunities to our alumni & their families.Work hours currently are: Mon.-Fri. 10am to 6pm at our office in Delray Beach. Six months or more of active 12-step recovery is needed and being an alumnus of The Watershed is preferred. Having basic computer & phone skills is a plus.
Call-Back Representatives
The Watershed is a Drug Free Workplace and an Equal Opportunity Employer. For more information, please visit: www.thewatershed.com. To apply, please go to www.thewatershed.jobs.
Calling All Alumni! Hello Watershed Alumni!!! Boy are we growing!! We currently have just uner 2,100 registered alumni both here and around the country! We are currently emailing over 3200 alumni and 764 family members on a regular basis and our new Family Outreach Program recently passed 1,300 members!! Almost 4 months ago we introduced our new Watershed Alumni Web site which has more than doubled in membership to 346 registered members over the last month. We hope in time to have all of our alumni and families involved. If you have not yet registered & would like to, just go to www.watershedalumni.com and follow the registration link! Currently in this community you are able to connect with other alumni via the Forums. You currently have access to both previous Alumni Newsletters, as well as our monthly newsletter that will begin in the month of July. We also post alumni anniversaries being celebrated on a monthly basis! UPDATE: We have EXCITING NEWS!!! Coming this fall, the Alumni Department will actually have a new website that will be MUCH larger and with far more capabilities that our current site. It is under development now and will be run much like Facebook, to allow alumni greater communication ability with each other and more creative freedom to interact and express their own unique individuality. The site will be set up securely with individual areas for "Alumni Only", "Family Only" and then a "Common Area" where everyone can meet and share together. Keep your eyes and ears open for our kick off date! The Life Saver's Club continues to grow and it's development will be overseen by Ms Debra Williams. Our current membership has grown to 283 members! The Life Saver's Club is for ALL alumni, family and even those not previously involved with The Watershed…that are interested in helping those in need of treatment services, whether that be with The Watershed or other service providers. You will be able to read all about The Life Saver's Club and its 3 levels of membership at the Alumni Web site. You will be mailed a one of a kind Life Saver's T-shirt JUST for joining! We hope to hear from you soon! If you are a LOCAL alumnus or even an out of state alumnus who wants to speak in front of the patients: We have the Alumni Speaker Meetings EVERY SATURDAY from 9:30am to 11:30am at BOTH the BOCA and BOYNTON facilities. You MUST have 90 days clean and sober to speak. For alumni with LESS THAN 90 DAYS, we have ALUMNI SUPPORT and ALUMNI MENTORING meetings at THE WATERSHED APARTMENTS from 9:30 to 11:30am under the tent by the volleyball court. ALL ALUMNI with less than 90 days should attend. For directions or further information or questions, contact Rebecca Balko at the contact information listed below. Last but not least…if you are an alumnus and have in interest in working in the field of addiction recovery and/or in our Alumni Department, The Watershed wants to hear from you! If you are interested in seeking employment you can either contact Rebecca Balko or go directly to our web site at www.thewatershed.com and go to Human Resources to place an "on line" application. We look forward to hearing from you! You can contact Rebecca Balko at: Rbalko@thewatershed.com (or write) 200 Congress Park Dr. Suite 101 Delray Beach, FL 33445 (PHONE: 877-416-9566 ext.8204).
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Events
October 16-18, 2009 Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA) 9th International Convention Conference
“Riding the Wave of Recovery� Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA) is a 12 Step fellowship of recovering couples committed to restoring healthy communication and caring and increasing joy and intimacy, To find out more about RCA or to download the registration form for Riding the Wave of Recovery, go to:
www.recovering-couples.org.
Early registrants may save as much as $25.00 per person. To book a room, go to
www.starwoodmeeting.com/Book/RCA2009 or call (954)920-3500. Questions about the convention maybe e-mailed to: FloridaConvention@recovering-couples.org or call (954) 432-8167
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Events 53rd Florida State Convention July 29th - Aug 2nd, 2009 Hyatt Regency Jacksonville 225 East Coastline Dr Jacksonville, Florida 32202 www.jacksonville.hyatt.com Speakers from around the U.S.A. Marathon Meetings-Family Workshops Young People Meeting Buffet Friday-Golf Tournament-Horseshoes Tournament Comedian Jeff Allen-5k Run/Walk-Ice Cream Socials
August 28 - August 30, 2009 Florida Conference of Young People in AA Annual Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) event with Al-Anon & Alateen participation. FCYPAA. August Marriott Courtyard, Hutchinson Island Oceanside, Jensen Beach INFO @ www.fcypaa.org/fcypaa
Dances and Entertainment Non-English Speaking Meetings Grapevine-Dr. Bob's Archives-Old Timers Meeting Meditation Meetings-Al-Anon & Alateen-
Onlne registration: http://www.53.flstateconvention.com/
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Making Amends is More Than an Apology Addiction creates moral wreckage. People who become addicted to alcohol or other drugs might lie, cheat, or steal in order to get and use their drug of choice. Often what's left behind is a trail of shattered relationships.
Why does Step Nine suggest that people avoid You've mentioned direct and direct amends in certain cases? amends. Are there other kinds?
For instance, you don't run home and say to your spouse, "Gee honey, I had a wonderful time in addiction treatment. I learned all about rigorous In this situation, apologies won't do. Alcoholics honesty, so I want to apologize to you for an Anonymous calls for amends instead. These are affair I had five years ago." That's clearing your conscience at the expense of someone else who's mentioned specifically in several of AA's Twelve Steps, including:
If we've continually harmed people and haven't made any effort toward amends, then we've got a lot of people, places, and things to avoid. Large areas of life become closed off to us. When you're willing to make amends, those areas open up again. You don't have to avoid people any more. This is true not only for people in recovery but for all of us.
* Step Nine: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
How do amends differ from apologies? An amend has to do with restoring justice as much as possible. The idea is to restore in a direct way that which we have broken or damaged--or to make restoration in a symbolic way if we can't do it directly. Say, for example, that I borrowed 20 dollars from you and never paid you back. If I go up to you and say, "Gee, I'm sorry I borrowed your 20 dollars and spent it on drugs," that would be an apology. Making amends is giving your money back to you.
Sometimes people talk about "living" amends. This simply means that we live differently. Amends are about a genuine change in our behavior instead of the patchwork of an apology. We take on a whole new way of life. We stop accumulating fresh insults to our selves and others. What are the benefits of making amends?
* Step Eight: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Carrying out these two steps is a delicate process that calls for guidance from a sponsor or counselor. In an interview, John MacDougall, D.Min., director of Spiritual Guidance at Hazelden in Center City, Minn., answered questions about making amends.
indirect
going to feel terrible. In this case, your amend can be an indirect one. Stop having affairs and bring your heart, your energy, and your attention back home where it belongs. Are direct amends simply impossible at times? Yes. Say, for example, that someone gets drunk, drives, and kills somebody in a traffic accident. You can't go back and "unkill" the person who died. Instead, you can fill out an organ donor card. This is an indirect amend that can give life back to someone in the future. Remember that with crimes such as drunk driving, people might need to go to court and take a punishment. That's part of making amends as well.
The book Alcoholics Anonymous mentions the promises of recovery. They come right after the explanation of Step Nine. "If we are painstaking about this phase of our development," it says, "we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace." That's what happens when we bring justice back into our lives by making amends. --Published March 5, 2007 hazelden Alive and Free Hazelden.org
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Recovery Bulletin Board Pat’s Cleaning Service No Job Too Big or Small
Patricia Drummond Owner
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 954-687-3292 patriciadrummond@comcast.net
The BEACHCOMBER Family Center For The Treatment Of Alcoholism and Drug Addiction 4493 North Ocean Boulevard Delray Beach, FL 33483 Telephone: 561-734-1818 From Broward County: 421-6226 From South Palm Beach County: 276-6226
JOSEPH R. BRYAN, Director
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Penelope Love
Fail-Safe Compatibility? One of the Top 10 questions burning in the hearts of human beings throughout time: How can I know for sure if I’m compatible with my partner? So unrelenting has been this inquiry that it frequently woke me up at night for years preceding my divorce. Only with the smack of the judge’s gavel did my heart finally resign to that fact that I had no clue as to what compatibility
meant.
later, and he 13 years older than I. That’s the power of vibration. This, not to mention that music carries so much resonant energy, can transform an environment into heaven or hell. In fact, if you want an aggressive person to leave your physical space, you can influence this ever so subtly by turning on a peaceful melody. Its ethereal qualities will sufficiently transform the space to where they will suddenly have to leave or, oddly enough, be drawn away by some seemingly unrelated incidents (i.e., their cell phone rings or nature calls). Compatibility factor number two has been mastered by animals all over the planet yep, you guessed it: body scent. The fragrance of the body is so essential in determining relativity that a dog can know in seconds what takes a human being many hours, even months, years or a lifetime to figure out. Believe me, your good olfactory glands can pre-relieve you of mucho pointless relationship distress. Why ever suffer when such a simple wisdom lies quite literally, right under your nose?
In light of subsequent relationships and teaching the art of creative loving, I’ve harvested compelling insights in response to this ancient conundrum. While we’re about to embark on two entertaining and relatively reliable ways to gauge compatibility, the third and fail-safe answer is ultimately one that only you can know for sure. In order for these to Testing these factors, of course, is not an exact science, yet it’s still work, though, you must be honest with yourself, and all of the data must possible (and fun) to ask someone what their top 10 favorite musicians flow through your own direct experience. and songs are. Or, ask to hold their hand a moment while you sneak a Before we look at this three-part compatibility survey, let’s explore whiff of it assuming that you are not going some traditional factors and why they to hug them in greeting when you first don’t add up. Have you noticed that often meet. (The old “hug ‘n sniff” is, of course, people base their compatibility on whether the most effective way!) They may still they argue or fight? Or whether there’s make wonderful friends regardless of your physical violence or verbal abuse in the lack of penchant for their iPod shuffle and relationship? Although indicative, these aroma, yet they will probably not make a factors are not definitive, because for one compatible lover for you. Try it and see committed to spiritual awakening, these for yourself, or reflect on past lovers and destructive behaviors can merely reflect your experience as they pertain to these our own need to be right, which our parttwo suggested “keystones of compatibiliner is simply mirroring back to us. You do ty”and feel free to share related musings not need to do anything about these condiwith me. tioned patterns indeed, you cannot change One other thing and this leads us to the most essential part. If a person them if you try. (Note: This is NOT to suggest staying in a stagnant or violent relationship.) Your being aware of these tendencies, that is to say con- wears perfume or cologne, beware! If one is concealing the scent of their scious, elevates the vibration of “old” thoughts, transforming them into skin, it is prudent to consider: what else might they be hiding? It’s very subtle, yet people who do not enjoy their own body scent will generally loving ones. not like other’s either, whereas one who enjoys the scent of their own Now for the factors that most accurately indicate intimate human rel- pheromones and body odor is unlikely to be critical and quite likely to ativity. If they shock you, revel in the surprise for they are significant in love you “Just the Way as You Are”. (Yes, that song’s on both our iPods.) bringing you beyond the visual attraction most people depend on above In the end, two lovers’ absolute acceptance of each other is the only their primal instincts. fail-safe compatibility test. This brand of acceptance can’t be bought in The first is (drum roll, please): musical tastes. Why? Because the stores and it’s all you’ll ever really need. music one enjoys reflects the vibrational relativity of their mind, which incidentally molds one’s physical environment and shapes their universe. ************************* For example, as I was decimating my parent’s Bee Gees album on my mini pink phonograph in New York, my partner was tearing up the disco Penelope Love is a writer and tantra instructor in San Gerardo de Dota. floors in South Florida and despite apparent variance in time and space, E-mail your questions and ideas for future Love Life columns to our musical appetites bordered on identical when we met two decades Penelope@OpenHeartTantra.com.
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Snowbriety:
Summer Booze Seductions, Staying Dry
I just came back from a cruise to Alaska where a posse of us carried the message to several small local meetings while on the road. At one meeting a gentleman was lamenting that he could not have a couple of beers in celebration of Memorial Day. After all, it was summer, and it was his American right to have a few beers. He could not make the connection between beer and the fact that he had just gotten out of jail after his sixth DUI. It truly is an astounding disease. Alcohol twists our minds so much we can’t quite comprehend what it says in the Big Book, “We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones.”
Take a small cooler of your very own with water, drinks and snacks. Bring some for sharing so you don’t run out if there are moochers around! #5 When you go to B-B-Qs Bring your own preferred beverages and some sweets to the host/hostess as a gift. Leave a small cooler with your favorite beverages and snacks in your car in case you run out. #6 When you go fishing or to a baseball game See above.
My first summer sober, I remember being on the beach playing scrab- #7 When you go on vacation, go to www.aa.org and get the list of ble with another newcomer. We wanted to be like the meetings that are available in the city where you will other young girls in bikinis seemingly having fun be going. Use the telephone to call your sponsor at home drinking. The weather was steaming hot and I rememor the local intergroup to tell them you are in town. Get a ber really wanting a cold beer. It didn’t even matter that temporary sponsor if you are spending lots of time on holI hated beer’s bloating bubbles and bad taste and that I iday in one place. didn’t drink it even when I was active. I kept telling #8 Have fun at fellowship events myself it was just a another cold drink. It was the Check your local Intergroup for fun events like “Bowling seduction of it that I had to deal with, and another old for Big Books” “Movie Night” “Picnics” idea that I could drink like other people that had to be smashed. I bought a cold soda, played several resentful #9 Plan a Fellowship Vacation games of scrabble that day, and just put more time into There are plenty of conventions, round ups and conferthe getting sober thing. I was not sure I wanted it, all I knew is that I would get it first and decide later if I wanted it or not. They ences to attend. Get some pals and plan to go on a program vacation at one or more of these. Plan on going on a Gratitude Cruise in fellowship. told me I could go back to drinking any time I wanted to. How do you stay sober in summer when it seems like everyone else is #10 Create your own events to look forward to having fun drinking? Have a fellowship BBQ, Pool Party, Breakfast Bike Ride, Scrabble #1 You must first accept that we are bodily and mentally different Tournament, or Pictionary Party. Get involved on any fellowship committee that is planning something, especially any fundraiser for your local from our fellows. Intergroup. Become part of the solution of staying sober in the summer For us to drink is to die or go insane. I had a pretty easy time admitting for others. this, but a hard time accepting it. I had to pray fervently on my knees #11 Carry Support every day to the God of my sponsors understanding for help accepting it, Gratitude Boosters: Write on ten small pieces of paper things you are just for today. grateful for and keep them in your pocket. If you feel bad for a minute, #2 Never go to any event on an empty stomach. We get confused on take one out and read it. Also, carry a little Big Book so you can go to the body signals with cravings and huger. rest room and read until the dark moment passes. #3 If possible, take your own car to all events so you can leave if you #12 Remember, God will meet you anywhere! feel uncomfortable. Snow@sobercelebrations.com 561-702-2312 #4 When you go to the beach
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Rebecca B.
Waiting In a One Hour Line for a Ten Second Ride!
You know, I just love summer! Of course before I lived here in South Florida where it is warm all the time, summer in and of it’s self was a very special time of the year that held all kinds of significance and surprises in my childhood growing up in Birmingham, Alabama. The fall and winter months would seem endless with their cold and often dreary days, which rarely had the spark of a true snow but more predictably brought the guarantee of rain and more rain.
were at Typhoon Lagoon we had just come off one of the water slides when I saw a young boy, (around age 10), coming off this slide looking very frustrated. He turned around to another boy with his hands clinched and the veins in his neck actually bulging a bit and exclaimed, “Well that’s just great! Ya wait in line for a whole HOUR just for a 10 second ride!' His friend inquired,“Well what do ya want to do now?” and the boy said, “Let’s go get in line again!!!” And off they ran. I got so tickled watching this event
Spring would provide just enough of a taste of summer to create a flurry of anticipation within me, that I would begin counting the days and watching the weather for the temperatures to hit just warm enough to head to the local state park and catch some rays at the lake. But for me, spring’ s greatest significance was that it would occur between these two kids, because I actualusher in...Summertime!!! ly understood both the irritation of having to wait in line and the anticipation that made that As a child summer meant being out of school, hour long wait worth every bit of those 10 glorunning barefoot, eating watermelon, chasing rious seconds going down that slide! I immedithe ice cream man’s truck and going to the local ately began to recall those trips to Six Flags pool for hours on end. It meant traveling to my during the hottest months of the summer in grandparents houses in Little Rock and Atlanta, Georgia with my youth group. We Texarkana, Arkansas with endless hours of fun would wait in lines that sometimes lasted as catching fire flies, crawdads in the creek and long as 2 hours or more for the really good rides. playing “spot light” with the neighborhood kids. We would all complain as we waited in the sufMy favorite part of summer was going on vaca- focating lines of inescapable sweltering humid tion to Panama City Beach, Florida with my heat, with things no more than small fans family. Oh how I loved the beach! As a teenag- attached to the corner ceilings flowing across er summer meant pretty much the same things, the crowd of bodies crammed together like sarexcept that the evenings were filled with hang- dines. But once you got seated in that roller ing out with friends, talking on the phone ‘till all coaster boy oh boy it was ALWAYS worth the hours with a boyfriend, watching movies and wait! You would have that moment to look back going to Six Flags every single summer with the over the crowd of faces that were watching you kids from my church youth group. As an adult in with envy, anticipating their own turn and it recent years, summer has been the time that my would feel great to know that you had at last husband and I always look forward to his two arrived! Sure enough though when it was over, daughters coming to stay with us for a month. it was always -- on to the next line! So as my All year long we look forward to the month of husband and I went with my step daughters from June and what kind of fun we will have soaking line to line, with the girls chattering anxiously as up every moment together. they awaited the next exhilarating slide¦ I enjoyed the calming breeze of reminiscence We have made a habit of trying every year, that lingered as we spent what would be our last (since moving to Florida), to surprise the girls day together before they would return home to with a special family trip. This year we surprised Alabama. I felt joy as I listened to the two of them by going to Epcot at Disney and Typhoon them excitedly lay out their summer plans day Lagoon! It was some kind of fun! While we by day, week by week, from the time they
returned home until the time they would return to school for what will be Charlie’s 7th grade year and Tatum’s first time in Middle School, (6th grade). The next morning we got up early and went to the Orlando airport. I was painfully aware of the fact that what once seemed like the endless wait for them to arrive in Florida to spend the month with us, was now the end of our 10 second ride together. They of course realized this as well. The lines at the airport seemed to go extra fast, as did our time to sit and visit with each other. It was all happening much sooner than we would have liked. Tears began to flow as we gave each other our goodbye hugs and kisses and they boarded their flight. The endless wait for them to return had once again begun. Isn’t it funny how life is? When we are little all we want to do is grow up. It seems as if it will take forever! Then as we become adults, time begins to go faster and faster as we find ourselves wanting the ability to slow it down, even just the smallest bit. Wanting as a teen to just reach the day when I could get out of my parent’s house and “live on my own” seemed to take forever but now, living almost 900 miles away -- how I long for the time to just be with them, if even for the shortest while. When we embark on a new relationship with someone, it can seem that the moments together and apart feel endless yet once you are married it seems that the days together go by entirely to fast. When we first begin the journey of sobriety, those first 30 days seem to last an eternity, yet at the point of several years you look back and wonder where all the time has gone. I suppose at this moment in my life, on such a warm summer day, I am reflective of what a funny thing time is and how much that hour long wait is totally worth the 10 second ride because the real journey, the true depth of the experience is not in the ride but in how I use the time that I wait. Do I use it by making the most of every single minute, to enjoy and absorb each and every second? Or do I waste the time that I could be enjoying to instead strain my neck, feverishly looking for the end of the line and yearning only for the 10 second ride? This life is a glorious journey and it is my prayer that one day at a time one moment at a time it will always be held precious and dear. (Rebecca B. - BeccainBham@aol.com)
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Spiritual Situations In many recovery programs, we often hear the phrase, “Act as if.” This saying is compatible with the philosophy of C.S. Lewis, who in “Mere Christianity” wrote, “Do not waste time bothering whether you love your neighbor; act as if you did.” I know this works. On one of our journeys to Vietnam, a decidedly awkward woman who joined me on the trip and whose attitude reflected the familiar “glass is half empty” perspective,remarked, “Vietnam is not what I expected. It’s so old and full of ruins and rundown temples. And the people seem to have a hard time understanding English and the weather here is so hot!” “Katherine (her name has been changed) but would you really want it to look and feel like Seattle?” “And they eat rice every day.” She continued. “But we’ve had a variety of foods, even continental breakfasts with American food.” I told her. “Well, that’s true,” she sighed. “And you seem to enjoy meeting all the children playing on the streets. You took so many photographs of those young children playing. You even wanted to bring one home in your suitcase! Remember?” “That’s true.” Now she was feeling defensive. Her nose was twitching. Her nose always twitched when she got defensive. I smiled and gently held her hand, practicing the “act as if” approach. “Shall we sit together on the boat ride in Halong Bay and enjoy the scenery? I’ll take photographs.” She began to relax. “I’m very proud of you, Katherine, for coming to a foreign land and your first trip out of the
U.S. Wow! Quite the adventurer!” “Next year, can we go to other parts of Vietnam Rev. Leo?” She asked me. I thought to myself, “Katherine, you are amazing.” At first she wanted to criticize Vietnam, now she wants to arrange the itinerary for next year! Go figure! People are strange. I am strange. I suspect you, the reader, are a little strange. Yes, we are all a little strange but then again we are all spiritual too. Spiritual people need to feed their attitude of gratitude. I encourage people to leave a daily meditation book in the bathroom or by the side of their bed to read each day. I have my own daily meditation book and I make an effort to read it each day and I am pleasantly surprised at what I read. At an early age, I was first attracted to the teachings of Jesus because he seemed so nonjudgmental, although I must confess I also loved the incense, vestments and bell-ringing at my English church. The following story helped me remember how accepting Jesus is: There were really four kings- the “Four Magi” visiting the baby Jesus. One was a little dizzy and got lost for 33 years. We all get lost at times. Some of us are lost for months, years or even longer. The tragic cases are those who never find themselves. The lost King in question faced many problems and challenges. As such, he sold the precious gifts originally intended to place at the feet of the “babe in the manger.” Life can be expensive! After 33 years this king, arrived in Jerusalem, which was crammed with people rushing to and fro. “What is going on?” He inquired. “An execution. A good man is being crucified. Come and see!” Our “lost King”, was a foreigner with dark skin, unusual clothes, and a different accent – obviously a stranger to the Romans and Jews. Being tall and strong, he pushed his way to the front of the pack as the prisoner was led to Golgotha, Place of the Skull, where criminals were crucified. Jesus fell for the third time. A caring soldier looked around to find help. He saw the stranger. “You. Come forward, help him.” As Simon from Cyrene, the “lost King”, bent forward to pick up the cross, Jesus looked at him. With a smile he said, “So, you have finally arrived. I have been waiting for you.” “But Master, I have sold all your gifts.” “No, you bring the gift of service. A most precious gift. Thank you,” said Jesus. I suggest we develop the precious gift of service, especially in our recovery towards strangers we meet along the way, accepting them in all their delightful differences. Spirituality is about the gift of service, gratitude and an “act as if” philosophy.
Reverend Leo is an internationally acclaimed author, lecturer, and trainer on all aspects of spirituality and recovery from depression, addictions, or compulsive behaviors and low self esteem. He is the Spiritual Advisor to Behavioral Health of the Palm Beaches in FL and the author of Say Yes to Your Spirit published by Health Communications Incorporated.
Contact Rev Leo: email:fatherleo@fatherleo.com website: www.fatherleo.com
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OPINION
A Modest Proposal To Treatment Centers
Over the past thirty two years I have God, cleaning house and helping others. in the treatment field and the caring professions been involved in the most successful healing Treatment is mostly concerned with the middle and it is simply this: build into your programs a program in the history of mankind. The program principle. It is the only one of the three that component that allows your clients to get out has literally saved my life and the lives of mil- focuses inward. It is where the self-centered side of themselves and help those who are sick lions. It is a program that is always successful, at nature of the alcoholic likes to hang out, for and suffering from something other than addichealing those afflicted with the disease of alco- loosely interpreted, cleaning house is “all about tion. Many like those who are hungry, homeless, holism. The program has several founding prin- me”. “All about me” is what had been killing us. terminally ill or aged have no choice about their ciples which distinguish it from all other disciTreatment does address spirituality and circumstances. By allowing your clients to learn plines of healing and care. The program is a guides participants towards finding a Higher this third principle “help others” their own design for living that can be successfully applied Power sometimes even having “Spirituality eagerness to clean house and find God will be to many other diseases and life problems. In fact Groups” as part of their program. But the one greatly enhanced. You will be truly treating the it’s twelve steps have been utilized in root of their disease...self-centeredover a hundred different programs dealness. “I have a modest proposal for all my friends ing with everything from gambling to There are so many worthy causes, overeating and compulsive debting. in the treatment field and the caring profes- wonderful opportunities to serve othOver the past forty four years I ers and so much need in this country have worked in the healing professions. sions and it is simply this: build into your pro- and world. As I spent the last month My first real job being at Children’s grams a component that allows your clients to watching my father recover from a Hospital in Boston in 1965. Over the life threatening illness I was get outside of themselves and help those who years I have worked with developmentalimpressed by the level of care of the ly disabled, physically disabled, psychi- are sick and suffering from something other nursing staff in the ICU, the surgical atric patients, street kids, high school recovery floor and finally the rehabilthan addiction.” dropouts, displaced homemakers, the itation facility. I was so fortunate to homeless, alcoholics and drug addicts be with my Dad as he was surrounded and taught reading to people who could not read. principle which is virtually ignored by most by family. I to walked by room after room of By combining my experience in both treatment programs is the “helping others” com- lonely elderly people who were at their final venues, my own personal recovery and my pro- ponent. This component is the great discovery of home. Taking a moment to smile, to say hello to fessional life in human services, I have devel- the founders of AA. To ignore it is to deprive talk to the men and women in their wheelchairs oped some strong ideas about caring, loving, primary principle of healing to those we are in the hall ways it occurred to me what a wonand spirituality and their importance in healing teaching to stay sober. derful opportunity for recovering people to promind, body and spirit. They are not new ideas About twenty years ago I worked in a vide love and service. A novel feature of this but they are often forgotten in this high tech, “Children’s Home” in Maine. It was an excel- facility is that it houses a day care center for clinical buzzword filled milieu of treatment of lent facility for emotionally disturbed children. I staff. By mixing the children with the elderly both medical and emotional ills. worked with boys aged ten to fourteen in a residents, there were many smiles and much This article will address only one area homelike cottage. We had a “team” approach healing energy apparent. but many of the ideas expressed here can be and all the professionals would meet twice a This energy is possessed by all of us and applied across the broad spectrum of human ill- week in a room to discuss the kids cases. One when we learn to get outside of ourselves and ness and healing. day there was a psychiatrist, a clinical psychol- help others we are healed of any and all probMost treatment programs today do a fine ogist, a social worker, a teacher, a nurse, a nutri- lems. Is it no wonder that the humans we elevatjob of bringing their participants to the table of tionist and all of the workers concerned with the ed to iconic spiritual levels such as Mother tools necessary to achieve complete and contin- care of the boys in the cottage. We were dis- Teresa, the Dalai Lama, Ghandi, Martin Luther uos sobriety. They present a table full of all the cussing a boy who had become violently out of King are all people who have devoted their lives best that psychology, addictionology and self control for no apparent reason. No one could to the service of others. help programs have to offer. The approach is understand how to quiet him when he had these It seems that everyone in the treatment virtually the same wether an inner city court tantrums. There was one person in the room, a industry is looking for the latest, newest stateordered program or the finest most expensive rather heavy and matronly LPN who worked the of-the-art approaches to addiction. Theories and “spa” treatment center. All treatment is success- night shift. After about a forty five minutes dis- modalities abound as we continue to seek the ful if the participant is willing and unsuccessful cussion with all the professionals weighing in very best treatment opportunities for our clients. if he is not. The key to treatment is to bring she said that she knew how to quiet him down. Sometimes its hard to keep up with the buzz clients to the point of willingness necessary to There was a rocking chair in the living room words and the terminology and the new pick up the many tools at their disposal. and she would sit this ten year old on her lap and acronyms. Each facility seeks to have a new Over seventy years ago two hopeless rock him and sing to him and hold him. He unique approach that set them aside from or drunks discovered, with God’s guidance a con- would cry and finally fall asleep. She had the above all the others. By going back to the basics cept that has healed millions of alcoholics. They key, just as Bill and Bob had the key and as we in human relationships and permitting their clideveloped a program of recovery that can be all have the key when we reach down inside our ets to find the joy in helping others we will truyuniversally applied. The three main principles to hearts and help others. ly give them the most healing tools in the spiriwhich all success can be attributed are finding I have a modest proposal for all my friends tual tool kit: Love and Service.
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Wanna Play? Come on a Gratitude Cruise 561-702-2312
www.sobercelebrations.com
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Your Recovery Horoscope
BRAIN TEASERS
Aries Hold ups on the work front will call on all your expert juggling skills to keep everyone happy Aries. You're a breath of fresh air and others will be on your side and a good thing too as you need this to achieve your goals this month. Be a power of example.
Find out what the animals are! (for example, "To run away or escape" could be a "flea") 1. hair-control foam 2. very exposed
Taurus There will be no stopping you this month due to a great aspect from Mars now, delays and frustrations of late will disappear now and you will be forging ahead. Love and tolerance is our code. Gemini You're on a go slow and with one thing after another getting in the way slowing you down, even loved ones aren't playing ball, just grit your teeth and wade through it all as it will not last too long. Pray & meditate. Cancer
3. tellin' falsities 4. a lamenting cry 5. a dull person 6. a precious or loved one 7. first you get a parking ticket, then you get this 8. these make up a chain ********************
Being pulled in two different directions by work colleagues and loved ones and neither direction is the one you want to go Cancer! what do you do? Don't let them overpower you but go with the flow and try to avoid tricky situations due to your own impulsive actions. Focus on you.
There was once a college that offered a class on probability
Leo
there was a catch. There were no homework assignments or
You are forcing yourself on others, making demands in a very authoritarian way as only Leo's can, its just a good job those around you are flexible enough to bend to your ways now, take a breath & let go.
tests, but there was a final exam that would have only one
Virgo
sheet of paper with a solitary question on it: "What is risk?"
Time to get out of that rut you have found yourself stuck in just lately. You have Mars in Taurus egging you on and giving you the confidence to speak your mind and ask for what you want. Set healthy boundaries.
Most students were able to pass, but only one student
Libra
applied to the real world. The class was relatively easy, but
question on it. When everyone received the test it was a blank
received 100% for the class! Even stranger was that he only wrote down one word! What did he write? Answers on Page 29
Onwards and upwards this month Libra, you are in the mood to make changes so start negotiating a better deal as far as joint finances or earnings are concerned, it maybe slow but don't worry you will get there in the end with Mars' influences around you. Faith without works is dead. Scorpio A very spiritual month Scorpio changes are occurring in a subtle way but they are happening now, there is also a need for you to delve much deeper into yourself and assess your life and where its going. Step 10. Sagittarius A month of extreme hard work, and don't expect much thanks for your efforts either but try to be happy with what you have achieved and pat yourself on the back for a job well done. Relax. Capricorn A busy month and clearly you'll need to be keeping fit, eating well and relaxing when you can grab a minute. There will be engine stalling with Saturn and Uranus around until mid month so stay focused and don't veer off your path. Get back on track with daily morning meditations. Aquarius Time to knuckle down and get on with a bit of spring cleaning in the home, OK so its a little late but better late than never! There will be fun distractions for you to let loose and unwind along the way this month but some delays or aggravations financially so enjoy nature! Once you get through mid month you'll be on top form. Have faith! Pisces Whizzing round like a mad one this month Pisces, getting the jobs done in double quick time.You won't be in the mood to put up with delays, slow people or other's mistakes easily. Hold your tongue now if you haven't got anything nice to say! Practice not gossiping daily!
JO LINDA BROWN
obcottages@aol.com
OCEANBREEZE COTTAGES Safe Supportive Living Delray Beach, FL Cell 561-523-2806 Call for Info
Tel 561-495-1001 Fax 561-495-1002 www.obcottages.com
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For Your Inspiration The Brooklyn Bridge In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before. Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built. Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge. The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move. "We told them so." "Crazy men and their crazy dreams." "It`s foolish to chase wild visions." Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever. He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment. It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife. He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again. For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do. Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal. Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realised with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.
Even the most distant dream can be realized with determination and persistence.
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ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVE If you will take the time to read these. I promise you'll come away with an enlightened perspective. The subjects covered affect us all on a daily basis: They're written by Andy Rooney , a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words. Enjoy.......
I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned..... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows. I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned..... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I’ve learned....That all men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I’ve learned.....Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I 've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned..... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I’ve learned .....Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. I’ve learned.....Death is a distant rumor to the young.
I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I’ve learned ......Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I’ve learned......Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I’ve learned.....I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned..... That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned..... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I’ve learned.....If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. ----Andy Rooney
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The Solution Directory
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The Wisdom of the Dalai Lama The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent.
All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness the important thing is they should be A good motivation is what is needed: compassion without dogmatism, part of our daily lives. without complicated philosophy; just understanding that others are human brothers and sisters and respecting their human rights and dignities. That Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. we humans can help each other is one of our unique human capacities. Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness. I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. The ultimate authority must always rest with the individual's own reason and critical analysis. If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them. There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; If you have a particular faith or religion, that is good. But my philosophy is kindness. you can survive without it. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher. It is necessary to help others, not only in our prayers, but in our daily lives. If we find we cannot help others, the least we can do is to desist from harming them.
Today, more than ever before, life must be characterized by a sense of Universal responsibility, not only nation to nation and human to human, but also human to other forms of life. My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness. We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.
It is very important to generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace. possible. From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and others will come. Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them human- rebirth or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion. ity cannot survive. We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive with- With realization of one's own potential and self-confidence in one's ability, one can build a better world. out human affection. .
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The Wit of Steve Martin Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.
You know, there's a moment when you're famous when it's unbearable to go out because you're too famous. And then there's a moment when you're Well, excuuuuuse me! famous just right. What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well. - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies. I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. Love is a promise delivered already broken. An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be. Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty. I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot. I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper. I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't. Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and I was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realised why: they're crouching and hidden. A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars. First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work. I gave my cat a bath the other day. . .they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that. The problem most people have with resisting temptation is that they never really want to discourage it altogether. I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice.
The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor first because writing is what you do when you are ready and acting is what you Who needs wall to wall carpeting when you can glue two pieces of carpet to your feet? do when someone else is ready.
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Comments Made in the Year 1955! CC
'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, 'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possiit's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for ble to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it $20.00.' down in Texas' 'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2,000.00 will only buy a 'Did you see where some baseball player used one.' just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me 'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm if someday they'll be making more than going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridicuthe President.' lous. 'Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?' 'If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.' 'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.' 'Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.'
'I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.' 'It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.' 'It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.' 'Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more, those stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat.' 'The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.'
'I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL 'There is no sense going for a weekend, it costs nearly $15.00 of DAMN in it.' a night to stay in a hotel.' 'I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a Thank God air and water will always be free! whole lot of foreign business.'
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Specializing in the Treatment of Psychiatric and Addictive Disorders Office Hours by Appointment Only
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(561)-278-0055 Wayside House is a not for profit substance abuse treatment center helping women recover from addictive illnesses for over 34 years. The following services are availabe on a sliding fee scale: * Residential treatment * Intensive Outpatient Treatment * Individual Outpatient Therapy * Relapse Prevention Groups * Family and children’s programs
Brain Teaser Answers 1.Moose (Mousse) 2. Bear (Bare) 3. Lion (Lyin') 4. Whale (Wail) 5. Boar (Bore) 6. Deer (Dear) 7. Toad (Towed) 8. Lynx (Links)
**************************** The brilliant student wrote down:
Orientation is held every Tuesday at 10 A.M., no appointment necessary. Please contact Jackie McGee at 561-278-0055, for more information.
"This." And handed in the paper. By doing this, the student demonstrated that he understood that having your grade based on one exam is risky. Plus, putting just one word on such an important exam and hoping the professor understands what he means is risky in and of itself!
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Our Readers Write
Unconditional Surrender In Akron, Ohio
I was in Akron Ohio after three hundred forty-two meetings in one hundred twenty-five days. It looks cool all written out like that. It feels even better. I am terminally unique, I’m also one of those Know-it-all newcomers. (Mostly thanks to my Big-Book thumping, Archivist/Historian sponsor!) Since there’s terms to describe me, I know that I’m not actually that special. I’m really just a run-of-the-mill alcoholic and addict. I was blessed with a strong will, and a broken spirit. By that, I mean that I could self-medicate myself off of alcohol and drugs, but had no desire to even find out if I had the ability to stay stopped. I once went five weeks dry without a program, long enough to convince me that I was not an alcoholic. As I recall, I needed quite a bit of pot and Valium to do the job.
raced through my mind, perhaps even more than normal. But as the questions were asked, I started to let go of my reservations, forget my fears, and release my false pride. When Ray asked if there was anything we needed to say, I realized that my mind was completely blank. I felt a burning in my knees; not painful, but like the house was becoming a part of me, perhaps even sucking-out my will and my former life. As I write this, I’d be unable to believe a word of it if I hadn’t felt it, if I didn’t know it to be true. Some people shared, we said the third step prayer, and we left the room in a different state of mind.
When Don asked me how I was feeling, I couldn’t put the words together at first. I had to force it out. “Dude, me with nothing to say is a real miracle.” He chuckled and nodded. It’s the honest truth, most of the When I lost my job selling TV’s due to drinking at work, I could see time, it’s impossible to shut me up. that I was entirely ready to throw my life We made more thorough visits to the hisaway. I came into the rooms, and I was told torical locations around town, and at each that I could get better if I was willing to turn place, I reflected on the history. I even surrenmy life over to God; and keep giving away dered again at the Smith Home, and felt that the gifts I got in recovery. It was the perfect quiet come through my mind once again. I time for a surrender, I was already a loser. I thought about how Divine intervention had met my sponsor on my second day of meetbrought just the right people together over 74 ings. That was a total God-incidence, all the years before, and how that same divine internumbers had to come up to put him in that vention had continued, bringing us there at chair near mine at the West Broward Club. exactly that time. I was floating around in the fourth dimension. Almost immediately after I met Don F., he started carrying-on about this Akron tour he There were some great meetings and aweleads every year, and how amazing it would some speakers throughout the weekend. Then be for me to go and get connected with the came the Memorial for the Smith family. 1000 early history of 12 step recovery. I began motorcycles, mostly Harley-Davidson, thunreading the books he would give me, and dered into the morning silence of Mount Peace went with him down to Miami twelve Tuesdays in a row to watch him Cemetery. Since Alcoholics were in charge, the microphone system was present the steps at the Harmony Room. So much of his passion and not working, and it was hard to hear the man speaking. Since the people enthusiasm for recovery manifests itself in stories which make him sound behind us could not hear the speaker at all, they began talking. I could not like he works for the Akron Historical Association. He would ask, back hear the speaker anymore; but suddenly the birds in the trees began to sing in February, if I would be going with the group in June. I had been told louder and louder. I realized that I was standing in a graveyard, early in to live one day at a time; and June was a long way off! But through anoththe morning, surrounded by leather-clad alcoholics and addicts, unable to er God-incidence, I was given a temporary editing job which paid for my pay attention to an homage for a man I never knew. Not one tiny part of airline ticket and a new camera lens; so I had to go. the person I had been 131 days before would have wanted any part of this As the trip approached, I tried to live 24 hours at a time. The prospect event. But I was changed, and I could not imagine being anywhere else of being out of my comfort zone, and being in a strange city with a bunch on Earth at that moment. As I began to weep openly, a woman I’d never of people I didn’t know was scary. My NA book says “Worrying is a lack met put her arm around me and held me as I cried. of faith.” So I knew I didn’t need to worry about it, and I manufactured I am so happy to be a part of this legacy of recovery. Every time I no expectations. That just meant my normally-noisy brain was painfully share the experience with others, the peace I found in Akron grows into unoccupied at a very vulnerable time. I made it to the airport, and kept real, permanent-feeling serenity. I can hardly wait to return next year, to my self entertained with cookies and apple juice on the plane. It had been lead others through the surrender at Dr. Bob’s Home, find even more a decade since I’d flown sober. I trusted God, prayed for serenity and serenity, and new connections to my fellow alcoholics and addicts. safety, and arrived unharmed. Everywhere in Akron, the local Alcoholics gave us the same greeting: Once in Akron on Wednesday, the tour began immediately. Don drove “Welcome Home.” us around town, pointing out all of the landmarks I’d read and heard about --E. Anonymous in all of the Bill, Bob, and Sister Ignatia stories. Then, we got to Dr. Bob’s Home. ************ If you are interested in next year’s tour with The Ambassadors Of Old We walked around the property, and Don told stories. When Eric Time AA, shoot an email to the author at meetingswithmom@aol.com The showed up to open the house, he told us he’d turn on the lights and let us author is currently working on a fictional book, and internet discussion in. The tour began shortly afterward, and in about 20 minutes, there were website (www.meetngswithmom.org) which will be entirely for the benefit 6 of us gathered around Sue Smith’s bed on our knees holding hands. of women who are actively involving their children in recovery. (He could This was it. Surrendering our will and our lives to God as the first 100 also use a paid writing gig; if you like the style!) alcoholics had done; exactly 74 years after Dr. Bob’s last drink. Thoughts
MEL B.
Why God Says No THE FIRST REAL AWARENESS, for most of us, is the tremendous potential continuing assistance from a Higher Power came when we realized that something beyond ourselves was removing the baffling compulsion to drink. As practical results developed, we began to respect the practical side of a spiritual life. Later we learned that God's help is not limited to our drinking problem alone, but extends into all phases of our lives. And right there a lot of us begin to
get into a certain kind of trouble.
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Or, take the example of Bill's business reverses in Akron, just before he met Dr. Bob. Why should God let a man sustain a defeat like that, especially a man who had known many successive defeats and was doing his level best to live a new kind of a life? No considerate person in his right mind would permit a man to get in a situation like that. But God permitted it, and in groping for a way out of the mess, Bill fell back on his spiritual resources and the soul-restoring technique of helping others. Today we beneficiaries of AA's redemptive power can see that this supposed adversity was really God's heavy hand molding a magnificent movement into being. But let's suppose, just for illustration, that God did give us immediate answers completely in accordance with our wishes, a blank check to do and have anything we want. How well would any of us come out on a deal like that? Since selfishness is a primary defect of alcoholics, and most of us are experts in using people and circumstances to feather our own nests, wouldn't we do the same thing to Him? We would bombard Him with unlimited demands, ranging from material gains to dictatorial control over the lives of others.
Somehow, since we got an immediate answer for our drinking, we conclude that similar answers should come immediately--for anything else that might be disturbing us at the moment. We learn that with God all things are possible, and therefore why should we have to be disturbed or Since we're an impatient breed, we'd use His help to run everyone else off disappointed at all? the road, although we'd smugly rationalize it by saying we were merely So we offer up prayers for assistance, and our requirements may be as receiving what was due us. We would gloat over business successes, lengthy as a child's list to Santa Claus. But God doesn't meet our demands, romantic conquests, prestige, and other "breaks"--giving little thought to so we become a little miffed. And our agitation is likely to increase when the unpleasant suggestion that our gains might be defeats for somebody we see others getting many of the advantages we'd like to have. Worse yet, else. Yes, we would manipulate God as spoiled children make demands on we see people who aren't on a "spiritual basis" at all enjoying an outpour- foolish and indulgent parents. ing of luck in all directions. . .a state of affairs that can lead us into blind But God is neither foolish nor indulgent, and has the wisdom to say NO. alleys of self-pity and envy, feeling that God has cheated us. And his answers are always for our own highest good. None of this is to After all, we say to ourselves (and to the Higher Power who seems to be denying us), aren't we trying to lead good lives? We're doing our best to be moral, kind, courteous, helpful, and honest. Shouldn't good things come our way, even material things? (We conveniently avoid the admission that we are trying to lead good lives only because alcohol had us trapped, backed into a corner, with no alternative except to reach out desperately for AA.) We may also have been misled by some of the current books on positive thinking, many of which contain glowing accounts of how countless perplexing problems were solved simply through spending a few minutes each day in prayer and meditation.
say that God's answers must always be "no". . .for all of us have known numerous times when the answer was an immediate "yes." But these requests were gratified because they were right, and were undoubtedly made in a spirit of humility and unselfishness.
Some AAs seem to achieve beautiful harmony almost immediately when they expose themselves to God's will. They develop such profound spiritual insight that they receive answers to almost all their prayers. The rest of us admire their serenity and wisdom, but continue trying to inveigle God into doing things our way. Then we start getting the true realization, perhaps, when we too examine the course of our lives and discover God's But first, shouldn't we consider the real meaning of Steps Three and unerring wisdom in times past, when He has had to listen and shake His Eleven in the AA program? In these Steps, we commit ourselves to God's head. will--whatever it is and regardless of the consequences. Our own plans Mel B., a resident of Toledo, Ohio, since 1972, is a writer spemay seem worthy, and our own immediate desires may be modest, but cializing in recovery, timely business topics, speeches, publicieven these may somehow conflict with the plans God has for us. It may ty and military history. Retired since 1986, he served in public be that in His strategy, the ultimate victory hinges on losing, not winning, relations for a major corporation headquartered in Toledo. some of the battles along the way. Today's disappointment, viewed six months hence, may turn out to be one of the best breaks we ever got. And Mel B. is a recovering alcoholic and a longtime member of at the proper time, our own grateful hindsight will let us see the workings Alcoholics Anonymous. He writes anonymously on subjects of God's unerring foresight. related to alcoholism and was a contributing writer for Pass It AA's early history carries some good object lessons revealing how this On, AA's authorized biography of co-founder Bill Wilson. principle works. At one time Bill W. and several other AA pioneers decided to solicit wealthy people for contributions to the struggling movement. In addition to Ebby: The Man Who Sponsored Bill W., he has When they weren't able to raise a single dime, they must have wondered authored two other Hazelden books, New Wine and Walk In if God hadn't forgotten the desperate needs of the embryo society. Yet, as Dry Places, as well as several Hazelden pamphlets. He has it later turned out, this experience helped teach AA to be self-supporting. also contributed more than fifty articles to The Grapevine, the It certainly must have been one of His mysterious ways of performing international journal of AA. wonders.
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Holistic and Non-Narcotic Approaches To Pain Management For Patients With A History of Addiction By: Paige Baker, M.D., The Treatment Center Many people become addicted to pain medications following an injury, illness, trauma or surgery. Some physicians prescribe narcotics for pain relief as it is arguably among the most effective non-surgical methods for reducing acute or chronic pain. However, many patients initially started on narcotic pain relievers for legitimate pain issues eventually develop a physical and psychological dependence on the drugs. As the inevitable downward spiral of active addiction ensues, such patients come to realize that they have lost control of the pill that once provided a temporary reprieve, as it is now the source of much larger and sometimes catastrophic problems. Eventually these patients come to realize they are unable to stop using on their own and reach out for help via involvement in a 12-step program, individual / group therapy or entering into an addictions treatment program. As the patient then begins to live a new life in sobriety, they are left to deal with their unresolved pain issues, but without the relief offered by narcotic pain medications. This creates a potentially disastrous situation, as untreated or ineffectively treated pain often leads to relapse, and for addicts, relapse can be deadly. At the Treatment Center of the Palm Beaches, we recognize the importance and legitimacy of incorporating effective non-narcotic pain management into the recovery plan in order to achieve long lasting sobriety. We understand that to successfully treat addiction, all aspects of a person's mind, body and spirit are addressed. We offer massage therapy, consultations with our pain management physician who specializes in non-narcotic treatments, in addition to a variety of holistic approaches including acupuncture, meditation, tai chi, yoga and physical therapy. Please visit our website at:
www.thetreatmentcenter.com or call us at 561-253-6794 for further information.
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APHORISMS 1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail. 3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all. 4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs. 5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. 12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. - Like this: It could be a ri ght number.
APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH.
13. No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their team is winning. 14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap. 15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies !
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks? 9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job. 10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo. 19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!
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Chef Lester’s Sober Sideboard BEWARE THE MOODY BLUES We human beings are constantly in mood changes. Ever notice how many times folks make the statement: "I'm in the mood for…steak…chicken…love?" "I'm in the mood for…" can either be a statement of where we are or where we would truly like to be! Our moods can be very deceiving. They can trick us into believing things are far worse than they are. As the cartoon character Yogi Bear use to say, "I'm smarter than the average bear!" And we are…but sometimes, boy do we do dumb things…really dumb things! And it's often because we let ourselves get caught in the mood trap! A bad mood can trick us into believing things are worse than they truly are. When we are in a good mood life looks great. We feel problems are easier to solve and life doesn't feel so hard. When we are down, everything is a real bummer! Bad moods can deceive us and get us into trouble. A bad mood can cause us to lose hope and give up. The real trick is to realize the rules of life don't change and bad moods are a something with which we all have to contend. We KNOW using chemicals to change moods destroys lives. NEVER FORGET THAT FACT. It got us where we use to be. Our problems don't change because we are blue. WAIT out the bad time. The mood WILL change. Pick up that "hundred pound phone" and call someone! Here's a trick that works for us. We sing a song with the kids we call "The
Laughing Song." Any tune is acceptable. Each kid is assigned a laughing sound. We start off with "Ha-Ha" singing his, then "Ho-Ho" joins in, next comes "Hee-Hee." Everyone chirps in with his or her own laughing sound and soon we all felt like a bunch of silly loony birds but it makes us feel good. For most of us feeling down is not where we want to be, but it is a part of life. Bad feelings come and go. The answer is not to let bad feelings steer us onto that negative path we call "stinking thinking!" It will get us into trouble every time. Remember, "This too shall pass." There are sad sack people who enjoy being miserable, but most of us are not in that category. The circumstances are generally the same whatever our mood. Our significant other, our job, our car, and our friends generally remain the same. She or he may be the greatest…the job the greatest…the car the greatest…then out of the blue…she or he is "an old bag/bat"…"hideous job"…"clucker car!" It is true, something may have changed but rarely has everything gone downhill all at once. A legitimate problem may still be there when the low curve passes, but we can deal with it more effectively when we are in a good mood. Take time out! Do what you need to do till that bad mood passes. Convince yourself…"Later will be greater!" Since we love to cook, one of our favorite things to raise our spirits is to enjoy a great meal. Our "Honey-Grilled Salmon" is as bright and cheerful as a glorious summer's day. It will raise those lower than a clam's belly feeling. So fellow cooks…grab your aprons and let's swim to the kitchen.
HONEY-MUSTARD GRILLED SALMON (Serves 4) INGREDIENTS: 1/2 cup honey plus 1 teaspoon lemon juice 2 tablespoons spicy brown grain mustard 1 tablespoon Italian or Cajun dry seasoning 4 salmon fillets (about 6 ounces each) Spray cooking oil Kosher or sea salt and fresh ground black pepper PREPARATION: Preheat the grill. Combine the honey, lemon, mustard and seasonings. Set aside. Lightly salt and pepper the fillets. Spray both sides of the fillets with cooking oil. Grill the fillets 3 minutes without turning. Turn over the fillets and top with the honey-mustard mixture. Close the grill, cook an additional 3 minutes until the internal temp of the fillets is 145?F. SERVE: Plop on a platter and serve! Garnish with parsley sprigs and lemon slices if you like. The tangy sweet honey-mustard topping truly compliments the salmon. We like healthy grilled fresh summer veggies and a frosty pitcher of lemonade with this fare. Try fresh tropical fruit and cheese to complete the meal. Reel in your school of big and little guppies to the table if you want to hear: "That's DEE-licious!" "Try it your tummy will be glad you did!" ---Chef Lester ************************** Chef Lester, author, columnist, and television host chef is a graduate of the Culinary Arts Academy. If you have any questions, observations, comments, or suggestions: E-mail: cheflesterlee@yahoo.com
Coaching....takes a person to a higher level. Coaching is a partnership of equals. It is a one to one interactive relationship that helps you to identify and accomplish your personal and professional goals faster than is you were to do them on your own. Did you know that there is a billion dollar industry built around teaching people to be creative? We will provide you with a process that will help increase your creative problem solving abilities. If you are interested in learning more about being Coached or becoming a Coach contact:
International Coaching Unlimited 1-888-Coach or 561-276-9110 WEB: www.ICUCoaching.com
EMAIL: ICUCoaching@aol.com
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The Solution Directory
SEX & LOVE PROBLEMS
Dr. Rene
954-492-8547 Rene deLeeuw, Ph.D. Certified Addiction Professional & Sexologist
www.drreneflorida.com
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News of the Wierd Unclear on the Concept
London's celebrated high-end restaurant Nobu still serves a bluefin tuna entree for the equivalent of about $51 but is apparently ashamed that it has a fresh inventory ready to carve, according to a May report in the Daily Telegraph. Printed on the menu is this advisory: "Bluefin tuna is an environmentally threatened species -- please ask your server for an alternative." [Daily Telegraph, 5-29-09]
the Captain's Galley Seafood restaurant in a caper caught on surveillance video. Guy was immediately a suspect because he lives in an apartment about 50 yards from the restaurant, and there were two paper trails from the restaurant almost to his front door. The video revealed that, in carrying away the two cash reg-
Least Competent Criminals Police in Indianapolis charged Fifth Third Bank manager Dwayne Roberts, 31, with arson and theft after the failure of his scheme to cover up embezzlement. Police said that Roberts elaborately staged a fire inside a locked vault so that an undeterminable amount of money would burn up, thus perhaps covering his cash shortage. However, after Roberts had set the fire and locked the vault, he realized he had left his keys inside and could not re-open the vault or lock the bank's doors or drive home. [Indianapolis Star, 5-12-09] Donny Guy, 31, was arrested in Hickory, N.C., in May and charged with burglary of
Texas, he realized that he finally had time to work on his long-desired divorce and wrote the county clerk in San Antonio to start the paperwork. First, though, he needed the clerk's help, in that he could not remember his wife's name. The couple had married in 1992 after a one-week courtship, and she cleared out shortly afterward. The clerk researched it and informed Mendez that he had been joined in holy matrimony with "Violeta Sanchez Juarez" and that she had apparently long ago returned to Mexico. [San Antonio Express-News, 3-10-02]
Finer Points of the Law
isters in the dark, the burglar failed to notice that the spools of paper in each machine had snagged on something in the restaurant and were unraveling with each step he took. [Hickory Daily Record, 516-09]
Marital Amnesia Most Helpful Bureaucrat: When Hermilo Mendez, 28, found himself behind bars on a minor charge in early 2002 in Dilley,
Kerry Fenton's pub, The Cutting Edge, in Worsbrough, England, initially complied with the 2007 Smoking Act, which prohibits lighting up inside. However, since smoking research is generally carried on indoors, "research" was exempt from the law. Fenton ultimately renamed part of the bar the Smoking Research Centre and allows patrons to smoke provided they fill out questionnaires about their habit. So far, according to a May BBC News report, neither Britain's Home Office nor the local Barnsley council has intervened. [BBC News, 5-13-09; Daily Star (London), 5-13-09]
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