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March/April 2011
Recovery
Happy, Joyous and Always Free!!
Growth
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The Solution News Contents Page 4 - Dave’s Page: Responsibility
Page 21 - The Wit of Rodney Dangerfield
Page 5 - Suzanne S.: Lifestyles College
Page 22 - AA History: Anne Smith
Page 7 - Second Chance
Page 23 - Breaking Down Recovery
Page 8 - Hotlines and Helplines
Page 24 - Emmet Fox
Page 9 - Watershed Page
Page 25 - S.L.I.P.S. of the Tongue
Page 10 & 11 - Events
Page 26 - Chef Lester
Page 12 - Alcoholism: No Confidence Builder
Page 27 - Life Savers Club
Page 14 - Rebecca B.: Catching Catfish
Page 28 - Time Gets Better With Age
Page 16 - The Art of Maura Fine
Page 29 - AAADD
Page 19 - Ask Bill W.
Page 30 - Daffynissions
Page 20 - The Wisdom of John Lennon
Page 31 - Parting Shots: True Facts
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Dave’s
Page One of the goals of the twelve step program is for its practitioners to “return to a normal way of life”. Over the years I have heard this phrase debated in meetings and in discussions outside the meeting halls. What does this mean? What is a normal way of life? The unfortunate fact is that many of us upon entering a Twelve Step program have no experience with “normal”. Our life experience has left us with a sort of “social retardation” where we have never learned even the most elemental rules and behaviors that most people take for granted. It is as if all of our growth and development stopped at the age we were when we picked up up our first drink or drug. I often say that fifteen was a tough age. I know that because I was fifteen for twenty years.
RESPONSIBILITY group’s Newcomer’s Meeting and talk about appropriate behavior at meetings. It occurred to me that with all the years that the many treatment centers in the area have been using our meetings for their evening activity that they would provide at least a minimal introduction to “normal” behavior at meetings. Upon further thought however I realized that it was the responsibility of those of us who have been around the program a while to teach these things to newcomers. God knows that I needed a lot of work when it came to manners inside and outside of meetings. Thank God the teachers were there for me. Why should we pass our responsibility as members of AA off to those who run treatment centers?
wisdom, appointed non-alcoholics to its board of directors. I have always thought that this was because they didn’t trust themselves with the money. Maybe they just needed someone to show them how to behave at those Board of Directors meetings.
Being a recovering alcoholic/addict is not an excuse for bad behavior. The program is about taking responsibility for our attitudes, actions and behaviors. The key word is responsibility. I guess there can be no argument with the concept that “normal behavior” follows the Golden Rule which simply states “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” We can learn this lesson in meetings, in treatment centers, halfway houses, churches and in the laboratory Some years ago I had the opportunity to work in of life. Perhaps “normal” simply means taking a “transitional living” program for homeless responsibility for ourselves. What a concept!! teens. The program provided education and training on very basic life skills. I have always ********************** felt that treatment centers while delving into deep psycho-social issues, feeling feelings and MORE LIKE THIS ON DAVE”S PAGE AT: finding inner children would be wise to include a component which addresses the basics of findSOLUTIONNEWS.ORG ing employment, paying bills, being on time, cleaning up after ourselves and living and work- Solutionnews.org continues to be the ing with others. Over the last year I have spent more time living and working with what we sometimes call “earth people” or “normies”. I amazes me how skillfully they are able to get to work on time, balance checkbooks, buy cars and homes, and essentially take responsibility for their own lives.
I was recently asked to address my home In the early days of AA the founders, in their
most content rich recovery website on the Internet. Our new “makeover” will make it a true recovery ezine with content changing daily. Look for it in June. In the meantime enjoy hundreds of pages of archived content as well as a virtual edition of this issue. You can now become a part of the Solution anytime and anywhere. Enjoy!
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TO CHANGE OR NOT TO CHANGE, THAT IS THE QUESTION? & {SHOULD WE BE ASKING THAT QUESTION OF OUR TREATMENT PROGRAMS?} Treatment professionals recognize that even with the best efforts of the finest treatment centers, only one in five individuals are successful at maintaining long-term sobriety after their first treatment. As treatment professionals these figures can be disheartening at times, and for families it is scary all the time.
The Areas of Study are Behavior & Cognition, Communications, Critical Thinking & Problem Solving, Human Relations, Interpersonal Marketing, Men's Studies, Religious Studies, Self Psychology, Women's Studies, Skill Building, Social Service Acquisition and Electives that include Body and Spirit Connection and Growth.
For many years, we have been able to collect data on relapse prevention and it is apparent that the most important time in the treatment continuum is the period between treatment and the return to regular lifestyle routines. It appears clients may be getting lost in the gap between treatment and the integration of skills needed to be successful during this transition period and later in life. Somewhere along the way, the quest to obtain answers to the "Why's" of their past, must be superseded by the necessity of grasping the "How to's" of their future Dr. Lacresha Hall, Board certified Psychiatrist, touted by the Consumer's Research Council as one of America's top psychiatrists for 2010 has made a revolutionary move to proactively enhance the face of addiction treatment within our local community. Dr. Hall has designed a program in Delray Beach, Florida that can change the face of recovery programs. The program of studies and guidance is based upon the premise that students are capable of success but must first learn the skills necessary to achieve it. An academic model is used to teach the emotional and life skills necessary to allow skill building to occur in a safe and supportive environment. The program is called Lifestyles College of Development. It is an Intensive Outpatient and Partial Hospitalization program that offers an active learning style and a didactic curriculum. There are no clients, or therapists. There are Students, Faculty Professors ( aka Teachers and Clinicians) and Advisors (aka therapists). Students attend school based on a variety of scheduling options of day and night programming. Students receive grades, have homework assignments, and credits are earned for each course completion, in addition to school diplomas that can be earned with the accumulation of course credits. Their area of study or course curriculum is individualized based on a unique intake approach, which includes intake assessment, orientation and psychological assessment. This format allows a treatment plan to be customized based on their areas of opportunity to build their strengths and skills.
The dictionary definition of “Recovery” is “The act of regaining or saving something lost (or in danger of becoming lost).” Ironically if we were cognizant of our history as a nation we would see that both in our past and our present we have taken great pride in ourselves and as a nation and in our ability to “Recover”. We have encountered Economic Recovery, Unemployment Recovery, Real Estate Recovery, and Recovery from Tragedy. In all instances we bear the badge of Recovery with great pride and honor at our ability to be resilient and Recover as the GREAT nation we are. So why do those who hail the process of recovery place the burden of carrying a negative stigma upon those willing to recover instead of respecting their desire to make a clean break from a troubled past?
Dr. Lacresha Hall, Founder The concept was founded on the premise that the student can succeed versus the traditional model, which approaches the student from the position of being broken or sick. This model moves the students away from this deficiency of thinking and enables them to recognize their strengths as capable individuals. It allows them to focus on mastering skills that were not previously acquired and which inhibit them from reaching their full potential. The recipe is a combination of two key ingredients that affect recovery success; having the student believe in themselves and having someone who believes in them. The benefits of active learning are well documented. There is the old adage "people learn best that which they do" is a proven concept and is the basis of Dr. Hall's program. Through participation and investment of energy the student becomes engaged in the learning process; providing input, using abstract operations and receiving feedback. Hence a learning style that is much more apt to stimulate higher cognitive processes and critical thinking is accomplished. The program also engages students by providing an environment that decreases the stigma associated with traditional substance abuse and mental health treatment allowing for self-directed change to occur. It is interesting these days to observe and be witness to the stigma attached to “Recovery”.
To reflect upon a speech by our President on US Recovery: "We are in the midst of a crisis unlike any we have seen in our lifetime- a crisis that has only deepened over the last few years." The same could be said for our addictions crisis. "When measuring the cost of alcohol abuse in the U.S., we have to consider such things as health services and medical expenses, premature death, loss of productivity, and alcohol related crimes. In total, the U.S. economy loses an estimated $185 billion each year to alcoholrelated problems,” according to the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism." So this brings us full circle to my original question… is there a need for us to change course ? What if we choose to do otherwise ? "Could we lose a generation of potential and promise and the very people who give our nation our competitive edge and have served as a foundation for our strength and standing in the world." (President Obama) ***************************** Written by: Suzanne S. Program Director Lifestyles College of Development 561-450-6320 Ext. 203 suzannes@lifestylescollege.com Suzanne S. is a CRSS, CRPS that works as an Independent Contractor to several treatment centers in the county. Her services include Recovery Coaching, Body Image and Self Esteem Building. ******************************
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A Fascinating Glimpse Into Recovery History Hazelden publishes the original working manuscript of the Big Book A fascinating glimpse into recovery history Hazelden publishes the original working manuscript of the Big Book One of the most historically provocative pieces of recovery literature ever discovered-the original working manuscript of Alcoholics Anonymous--will now be available to readers everywhere.
valuable manuscript that takes you behind the scenes during the creation of one of the most influential books of all time--dramatically capturing the controversy and creativity that went into introducing AA's program of recovery to the world," marvels recovery movement historian Fred Holmquist, director of the Lodge at Hazelden.
The Book That Started It All During this, the 75th anniversary of Alcoholics Anonymous, Hazelden Publishing is releasing a four-color reproduction of the entire original working manuscript of the Big Book, complete with AA cofounder Bill Wilson's handwritten margin notes and penciled edits from other founding members of the Fellowship. The Book That Started It All gives readers an up-close look at the first draft of the Big Book, which was written in 1939 and includes markups in black, green and red pencil. The copyedits and commentary give AA history buffs a firsthand view of the many opinions, debates and discussions that went into making the Big Book, as well as an opportunity to deci- The Twelve Step principles and practices of pher five layers of editorial notations. Alcoholics Anonymous, documented and One of the most influential books of all time brought to life through the personal stories Alcoholics Anonymous was founded on June chronicled in the Big Book, created one of the 10, 1935, the day Bill W. and Dr. Bob first met greatest social movements of the 20th century. in Akron, Ohio, and the day Dr. Bob took his But for nearly 40 years, the primary document last drink of alcohol. Four years and thousands of the program lay within the confines of Bill of meetings afterward, Bill W. and a handful of and Lois Wilson's home in Bedford Hills, New the original 100 AA members took it upon them- York. In 1978, Lois passed on her most prized selves to write down how they got and stayed possession to a friend, and the document sober. The result was Alcoholics Anonymous, a remained hidden from public view for nearly book that has since been translated into more another 30 years. The working manuscript eventhan 50 languages and has sold 27 million tually found its way to Sotheby's auction house, where it was sold in 2004. copies in the United States and Canada alone. The manuscript's current owner made a set "Imagine being able to explore a rare and
of high resolution scans of the historic document available to Hazelden Publishing so that readers everywhere could have a sense of the lively and exciting six-week period in 1939 when the manuscript was taking shape. "Hazelden's decision to publish this important text is rooted in our belief that Twelve Step principles are core to helping those who suffer from addiction experience lifelong recovery," explains Nick Motu, publisher and vice president of Marketing and Communications for Hazelden. "The Big Book is one of the world's most studied and revered texts," adds Motu. "We are thrilled to make the original manuscript more widely available." Essays provide extra insight In addition to high-resolution scans of the full manuscript, highlights of The Book That Started It All include the original, unedited version of the Twelve Steps (including a First Step that lacks the famous "We" of the opening), anonymous essays by leading AA historians and the transcript of a 1953 speech by Bill Wilson on the making of the Big Book. One essay recounts the internal debate over what to title the text: The Empty Glass, The Dry Life, The Way Out and even One Hundred Men were all in the running. "For anyone who wants to understand the foundation of his or her own sobriety or that of family, friends, coworkers or loved ones, this book will be a revelation," says Holmquist. "Most important, this 1939 manuscript highlights the collaborative process that forever changed the way the world treats alcoholics and drug addiction." Published in The Voice, Fall 2010
Coaching....takes a person to a higher level. Coaching is a partnership of equals. It is a one to one interactive relationship that helps you to identify and accomplish your personal and professional goals faster than is you were to do them on your own. Did you know that there is a billion dollar industry built around teaching people to be creative? We will provide you with a process that will help increase your creative problem solving abilities. If you are interested in learning more about being Coached or becoming a Coach contact:
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SECOND CHANCE: Transforming Lives Through Vocational & Life Skills Training to help clients discover what they need. All Second Chance clients have access, even remotely, to their Computer Resource Center. It has a wide Delray Beach Mayor Nelson S. "Woodie" McDuffie encouraged com- variety of e-learning programs, career videos, and other job and skill munity involvement in helping to create a Second Chance support com- improvement prograams. munity at a mid-January open house and ribbon cutting ceremony for their new Delray Beach facility. He encouraged the Delray Beach com- Second Chance Community Mentors & Volunteers Sought munity, particularly members of the Greater Delray Beach Chamber of Second Chance is building an extensive Community Mentor network. Commerce, to get involved. Second Chance, a new service based non-profit, provides fee-based Over time there will be Second Chance Community Mentors in virtually six week licensed vocational counseling, job readiness, and life skills pro- every conceivable career and educational area. Beginning soon, there grams to help transform lives of people serious about recovering from will be twice monthly Community Mentor Forums where individuals in the recovery community can to talk to people already in a career area of alcoholism and addiction. interest. If you are interested in being a Community Mentor, you can either call Employment is one of the top three predictors Margaret Young at 561.404.0404 or go on line to www.secondof long term recovery chancecommunity.org to secure a Community Mentor form. It will only Extensive research conducted over the years by the Substance Abuse take an hour and a half of your time every few months. Second Chance and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) has proven that is also always seeking volunteers for its many activities and projects. gainful employment is one of the top three predictors for successful long term recovery. While SAMHSA has recommended that vocational reha- Second Chance's Founder - Scott Hoffmire bilitation be an important part of drug and alcohol treatment programs, it Scott Hoffmire is Second Chance's founder, visionary, and Executive has been lacking in most. Second Chance fills this missing gap, and is complementary to the 130+ alcohol and drug treatment programs located Director. While living in Memphis, he was involved with a non-profit drug and alcohol program during its inception that provides vocational in Palm Beach County. Margaret Young, Second Chance's Program Director, stated that indi- rehabilitation, life skills, and work opportunities for their clients. This viduals gain a clear and actionable understanding of their occupational program, significantly supported by the greater Memphis community, has interests, their abilities and work values, and the possible educational a measured 76%+ long-term sobriety success rate due in great part to their requirements to move forward with their lives in a positive way by work- focus on vocational rehabilitation, empowering addicts and alcoholics in ing with their licensed vocational counselors. "Vocational guidance pro- early recovery. Relocating to Florida in 2005, Scott saw that vocational and life skills vided by individuals who are not qualified or licensed can create many problems leading to frustration, misdirection, and even a return to sub- resources for alcoholics and addicts who had completed treatment were stance abuse," said Young. She continued stating that "instead of just a lacking in the area. Conversations with Treatment Centers, Halfway 'recovery' job, completion of Second Chance's program allows individu- Houses, and Therapists led to the founding of Second Chance. "The community at large will be the beneficiary if it embraces and als to seek a job that will benefit them in their long term career goal." Programs include individualized coaching, licensed counseling, struc- supports individuals in early recovery as they become responsible contured job readiness and life skill group workshops. Both evidence-based tributing members of society by discovering renewed meaning and purand research-based assessments and transferable skills analysis are used poses for their lives," said Hoffmire. Delray Beach, FL
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Hotlines and Helplines AA BROWARD COUNTY AA FLORIDA KEYS AA HOTLINE, North Palm Beach
954-462-0265 305-296-8654 561-655-5700
DEPRESSION - OVER 55 FAMILY CAREGIVER PROGRAM FLA. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
954-746-2055 305-292-8445 800-500-1119
AA HOTLINE, South Palm Beach AA HOTLINE Broward
561-276-4581 954-462-0265
FLORIDA BAR LAWYER’S REFERRAL
800-342-8011
FLORIDA HIV/AIDS HOTLINE
800-FLA-AIDS
954-462-7202
FLORIDA INJURY HELPLINE FLORIDA INTERGROUP AA FOOD ADDICTS IN RECOVERY FLORIDA PET GREIF SUPPORT GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS HEPATITIS-B HOTLINE
AA MIAMI DADE
305-371-7784
ABUSE REGISTRY
800-962-2873
ADD PARENTS SUPPORT
954-473-8644
AL ANON HOTLINE, Palm Beach
561-278-3481
AL ANON HOTLINE, Broward AL-ANON/AL-ATEEN
954-491-1915 8884ALANON
ALIEN ABDUCTION SUPPORT GROUP
954-698-6926
ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION
954-726-0002
ALZHEIMER’S COMMUNITY CARE AT RISK YOUTH PROGRAM BIG BROTHERS & SISTERS CAPITOL CITY YOUTH SERVICES
561-278-6649 727-726-8829 561-966-4120 850-576-6000
CATHOLIC DIOCESE OF ORLANDO
407-658-1818
CDC NATIONAL AIDS HOTLINE
800-342-2437
CHILD ABUSE HOTLINE
800-4ACHILD
COCAINE ANONYMOUS CODEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS CONSUMER HOTLINE COSA (co-dependents of sex addicts) COUNCIL ON COMPULSIVE GAMBLING
954-779-7272 800-254-1333 800-848-3792 763-537-6904 800-426-7711
CRIMESTOPPERS CRIME LINE
800-458-TIPS 800-423TIPS
DASH (Divorced and Separated Help) DEBTOR’S ANONYMOUS DEPRESSION & BIPOLAR SUPPORT DEPRESSION AND MANIC DEPRESSION
800-510-5553 407-276-4581 1-866-325-0500 352-392-4700 800-891-1740 800-891-0707
HEPATITIS HOTLINE HIV/AIDS HOTLINE HOSPICE HOSPICE/HOMECARE BY THE SEA JEWISH FAMILY& CHILD SERV LAWYER ASSISTANCE RECOVERY, INC LUPUS FOUNDATION OF S. FLORIDA MARIJUANA ANON. MIAMI HELPLINES
800-545-2437 800-352-2437 954-467-7423 800-3923189 561-684-8443 800-282-8981 561-642-1722 561-279-8606 800-766-6779 305-358-4357
MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS FOUNDATION
800-441-7055
NTNL. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE NAR-ANON, Broward
Nare-Anon Florida Region
800-799-SAFE 954-584-6578 888-947-8885
NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Palm Beach NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS, Broward
561-848-6262 954-476-9297
NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS gold coast
954-476-9297
NAT. CTR. ELDERLY ABUSE
800-96-ABUSE
561-451-2312
NATIONAL RUNAWAYSWITCHBOARD
800-RUNAWAY
954.925.4068 813-878-2906 954-746-2055
NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE
800-SUICIDE
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER
954-746-2055
OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS, Palm Beach
800-273-1696
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The Solution is not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous or any other 12 Step Program although our content is directed towards those who have found the 12 Step philosophy to be a significant factor in their lives. The Solution News published by Sobersolution six times a year for people actively working on their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being. We are committed through articles and advertising to provide a broad spectrum of recovery, renewal and growth information. The opinions are those of the contributors. We seek to attract advertisers who represent their products and services with integrity but we urge readers to be wise consumers.
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RNS & LPNS For Admissions Department We are looking for Florida licensed LPNS and RNS who are friendly & compassionate and able to work with alcoholics and addicts. The hours are a mix of evenings and nights with weekend work involved. We are also looking for an RN to supervise the clinical aspects of the department and work as an integral part of an allied health professional’s team.
Therapists
Behavioral Health Techs
Are you looking for a place where the concept of "team" has deeper meaning? We are looking for caring, insightful therapists who are committed to the highest quality care for our patients and who have the desire to support those who are struggling with addiction. Our facilities offer our patients comfortable and safe surroundings to begin their journey of recovery. The Watershed is Joint Commission accredited and fully licensed by the State of Florida. Our therapists provide individual and group counseling to patients in our inpatient treatment program. The therapist is able to develop a relationship with the patient that begins in detox and lasts throughout the entire length of stay. The therapist functions within the limits of their licensure, registration and/or certification. Graduation from an accredited college or university with a Masters Degree in a health-related discipline; licensed and/or accredited applicants preferred. Experience with chemical dependency and/or dual diagnosis programs preferred. The Watershed welcomes recovering individuals to apply! Recovering individuals must have a minimum of 1 full year of abstinence from drugs/alcohol to eligible for employment.
Are you a caring, compassionate individual? Are you able to provide supervision and support for others in a thoughtful, respectful manner? If you have these qualities we encourage you to apply for a position as a Behavioral Health Technician, (BHT). Our BHT's are directly involved in providing quality care for patients as part of the overall team and are responsible for conducting meetings and providing structure for our patients during their treatment experience. As a BHT you are the frontline staff member, having frequent interactions with the patients throughout their stay. As a result you are in a position to have a positive impact on the patient's view toward recovery. The average day for a BHT involves a variety of activities; there isn't a lot of time spent in one place since our patient's care is conducted in different areas of the facility. The BHT should have a clear sense of personal boundaries and be able to enforce clearly established guidelines. People with their own personal recovery experience are encouraged to apply! Must have a minimum of 12 months of sobriety.
Alumni Coordinators
We are currently seeking hard working, customer service oriented individuals with excellent communication skills to become members of our team. The Call-Back Representatives will work collaboratively with the Admissions Coordinators in order to admit new patients into our treatment facilities. This position involves making follow-up calls to individuals who have previously called The Watershed seeking treatment but were never admitted into our facility. Our goal is to reach out to those who may have avoided treatment in the past and assist them with their struggles of addiction, by offering our treatment services. This position is full-time with some weekends involved & located in our Delray Beach, corporate building.A year or more of 12step recovery experience is very beneficial to anyone working in this position. Prior call-center and/or healthcare experience are a plus!
The Watershed’s newest department is that of the Alumni coordinators! Coordinators main focus is in making contact with ALL of Watershed’s alumni dating back to it’s doors opening in 1998! Through this effort any alumni who may have encountered relapse and needs help can be given a means to get back into their recovery and those who are maintaining recovery can be orientated to our current program which offers a variety of services, activities and opportunities to our alumni & their families.Work hours currently are: Mon.-Fri. 10am to 6pm at our office in Delray Beach. Six months or more of active 12-step recovery is needed and being an alumnus of The Watershed is preferred. Having basic computer & phone skills is a plus.
Call-Back Representatives
The Watershed is a Drug Free Workplace and an Equal Opportunity Employer. For more information, please visit: www.thewatershed.com. To apply, please go to www.thewatershed.jobs.
Watershed alumni - you don't want to miss this!!!! Are you a graduate of The Watershed Treatment Programs? Do you have an interest in personal growth in your recovery? Would you like to be able to help others, even as you were helped? If the answer to any or all of these questions is "YES", then we want to hear from you! The Watershed has a unique one of a kind ALUMNI PROGRAM that is quite literally filled with events, activities & services for you!! It is a place to find support, fellowship and numerous ways for you to be able to reach out and help others. We currently have over 3,800 registered alumni members around the country and we want YOU to be a part of this community! We also have an Alumni Family Outreach Program for YOUR family members to offer them the same connection and support with each other that now numbers just under 2,700!!! We hope that whether you are an alumni or a family member of an alumni, that you will join our social web site called Lives in Recovery. To register just go to www.livesinrecovery.com today! You will find a place to register under "ALUMNI" and a place to register under "FAMILY". On this site, you will be able to chat, create groups and meetings, upload videos, create photo albums, find local meetings, be up to date on events, access the Alumni or Family Magazines, the monthly Alumni or Family Newsletter, the Life Saver's Club Newsletter, and SO MUCH MORE! We hope that you will get involved with alumni if you aren't already. (YOUR VOICE IS NEEDED!!) We have the Alumni Speaker Meetings EVERY SATURDAY from 10:30am to 12 noon at BOTH the BOCA and BOYNTON facilities. You MUST have 90 days clean and sober to attend. If you are a new alumnus with less than 90 days in recovery, we have special support meetings just for you and we WANT YOU TO COME. It is called the ALUMNI SUPPORT meeting and is held at THE WATERSHED APARTMENTS in Lake Worth, FL on THURSDAY nights, from 5:30 to 6:45pm under the tent by the pool. There, you can gain important information related to your early recovery AND at 90 days you will be presented a medallion at the end of the month Anniversary Meeting! (IF YOU ATTEND ALUMNI SUPPORT MEETINGS YOU MAY ATTEND SATURDAY SPEAKER MEETINGS) For directions or further information or questions, contact Rebecca Balko at the contact information listed below. Last but not least…if you are an alumnus and have in interest in working in the field of Addiction Recovery and/or in our Alumni Department, The Watershed wants to hear from you! If you are interested in seeking
employment you can either contact Rebecca Balko or go directly to our web site at www.thewatershed.com. Just go to Human Resources & place an "on line" application. *You need to have 1yr. clean and sober for most positions* We look forward to hearing from you! You can contact Rebecca Balko at: Rbalko@thewatershed.com (or write) 200 Congress Park Dr. Suite 101 Delray Beach, FL 33445 (PHONE: 877-416-9566 ext.88204)
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Events
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Events ATTENTION!! MEETING SLOTS ARE AVAILABLE
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561-642-3103
SMOKING NON-SMOKING. MOST TIME SLOTS AVAILABLE. FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL KATHY K.
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Alcoholism: The Wrong Way to Build Confidence Quiet, insular, and lacking confidence are not traits people usually associate with alcoholics. After all aren't the alcoholics those people that are social, loud, exhuming confidence and all the while consuming more and more alcohol? Although conceptually being counterintuitive, these sets of character traits and alcoholism fit together perfectly and an addict's switch from having no confidence to showing great displays of "self orientation"through outward expression is usual alcoholic behavior. Many alcoholics will tell people that they need alcohol to exist. Their social skills are better and they gain the confidence they had always lacked. This is of course only one of the reasons alcoholics drink and continue to drink even after they discover their alcoholism. It is true that most scientists and medical professionals now admit that alcoholism stems from a complex mixture of genetics, sociological, and psychological circumstances, yet for most alcoholics it is the confidence and personality and friends they never had when they were sober that spurs continued drinking. When an alcoholic says, "I need alcohol to exist," they aren't lying. Their continued personality, confidence, and friends depend on their continued drinking. This is the alcoholic beast. It is this beast which convinces the alcoholic of his or her need to drink.
ment approaches. Multiple treatment approaches are natural outcomes of different beliefs in the "root-cause" of alcohol addiction. For example someone who believes that alcoholism is an expression of deeper psychological damage usually abuse or abandonment, will seek psychotherapy and support groups to break the addiction or at least help "control the disease."
will inevitably become more complex as well. Since the uncovering of the "alcoholism gene" more and more addiction professionals have been supporting the active change in the the addict's nutrition. A change in food intake can go a long way in transforming one's genetic predisposition to alcoholism. One such method called orthomolecular medicine focuses on brain deficiencies connected to nutritional problems in biochemistry and genetic predispositions. This method has shown much success in using food and nutrition in augmenting an addict's biochemical deficiencies.
Combining Methods Despite the success of orthomolecualar medicine and other nutrition and medical treatments in fighting alcoholism, most addicts have still not abandoned traditional support groups, such as 12 Step/AA, which advocate an almost spiritual awakening. Although most advocates of any addiction treatment of course signal out their methodology as "the proper" treatment, what is clear is that the best route to successfully "kill the beast"of alcoholism is a combination of nutritional changes, coupled with proper therapy and support based healing. Only this combination can successfully give the addict the true inner confidence and proper physical balance he or she has sought.
Presently, with new research available many addiction treatment professionals concur that many people have been born with a genetic predisposition to alcoholism. This genetic predisposition leaves the person with all the factors that lead to alcohol addiction. These factors include an intense craving for alcohol, heightened tolerance, and extreme dependence. This is not to say that every alcoholic was born with **************************** these, but those that aren't end up creating the Killing the Beast David Mark writes for numerous websites with same situation by long term heavy drinking. a focus on spreading knowledge that is helpful The debate on treating alcoholism, runs deeper Given the fact that research shows a complex set to humanity. than rudimentary differences in various treatof causes for alcoholism, treatment responses
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Recovery Bulletin Board A CHRIST CENTERED 12 STEP PROGRAM Every Tuesday 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm RSVP for Free Childcare New Children’s Recovery Celebration Station nrunhaar@FUMCBocaRaton.org FUMC,625 Mizner Blvd., Boca Raton, FL 33432
The BEACHCOMBER Family Center For The Treatment Of Alcoholism and Drug Addiction 4493 North Ocean Boulevard Delray Beach, FL 33483 Telephone: 561-734-1818 From Broward County: 421-6226 From South Palm Beach County: 276-6226 JOSEPH R. BRYAN, Director
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Rebecca B. (ICatching Catfish
Catching Catfish (In loving memory of John "Catfish" H.)
As a child growing up, summertime was most often centered around activities that involved the water - which was influenced in large part by the almost inescapable sweltering heat, (otherwise referred to as the dog days of summer), that was just part of living in the south. Other than swimming at the local pool, two of my favorite activities were hunting craw dads in local creeks and going fishing! Hunting for craw dads was always exhilarating, especially at my grandmother's house in Little Rock, AK. She had a large creek behind her house at the base of what seemed at that age a HUGE rocky mountain, whose water was always cold to the many pairs of little bare feet that would delicately walk around in it moving from rock to rock, anticipating the mother of all craw dads that might be found under each one. (For those who don't know - craw dads LOVE rocks to burrow under. The bigger the rock often meant the bigger the find! So locating a creek with lots of rocks, especially large ones, was like GOLD to us seasoned craw dad hunters!) The excitement & anticipation of slowly reaching into that icy cold water, hands placed on either side of a big ol' rock - (squinting to see through the current because you didn't want to miss the craw dad…nor did you want to miss the potential snake that could be hiding underneath!) - was almost indescribable. With heart racing & using all the strength that I could muster, I lifted the rock and there he was…the BIGGEST craw dad EVER! Now came the most exhilarating and terrifying part - reaching into that cold running water, while seeing him poised with pinchers and tail up ready to strike and placing little fingers on either side fast enough to get a hold of him without him getting a hold of me first! The feeling of conquest was awesome, as was the envious admiration of the other kids! The other activity I grew to love was fishing. Not just any fishing, but CATFISHING! It was appealing on several levels - First it didn't require crickets or worms which was a TOTAL relief to me. I found the whole preparation of live bait on a hook to consistently be somewhat nauseating. To catch catfish on the other hand required only "smelly bait"…the smellier the better. I actually viewed it as a magnificent experiment to lay out the chicken livers or squid in the sun and get it to that "just right" state of odor…all while figuring out how to keep the ants away. Once completed, all that was left was to find a good fishing spot, load bait on the hook, toss it out, put a bell on the end of the pole and wait! No need to jiggle the line, repeatedly reel it in, get the lure tangled or any of the other many issues that could arise in fishing for other types of fish. Nope, you could just kick back and relax until the bell rang, or better yet - prepare multiple lines in the water! Another plus was that you didn't have to wonder if a fish was on the line. Catfish are fighters and when they hit a line, they run with it! Hearing that bell and seeing your rod heading into the water Ahhhhhh!!! Nothing quite like THAT excitement! Reeling in a catfish primarily centers on not moving that line to quickly, using a net to get it in and being really careful when removing the hook. They can have very sharp barbs that when stuck…is a painful memory guaranteed to linger! The sense of accomplishment when reeling in those BIG ones was, (like the craw dads), tremendous - as were the envious looks of those around me! Upon starting my journey in recovery at about 1 year sober, I began working in the treatment center that I had gone through. For the first 4-5 years I worked in the office and began training in addiction counseling. At around 5 years of recovery I became a primary counselor and at 8 years began working with people who were not only dealing with addiction, but were also dealing with various forms of mental health issues (some severe), as well as other behavioral and/or developmental issues. In the early days of working in this area, I had felt within myself a great deal of uncertainty coupled with a sense of anticipation as to what experiences would lie ahead. Little did I know that the "experience" was going to be upon me in short order and came in the form of a man with whom I would never forget: He had come to treatment recently released from prison where he had spent, (by his account), almost 10 years. He was a black man, who stood about 5'3.
He was bald and only had 2 front teeth on the top - separated by about a 3 tooth gap and he had a round belly. He was in his late 40's, diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, was functionally illiterate and had been drinking, (by his report), over 35 years. As we sat in my office for our first session he had his fingers interlocked with his hands resting on his belly ~ spinning his thumbs around and around each other. He would make no eye contact initially. I introduced myself and then asked if he would like to share anything - without looking up - he said, "I hate white people!" To which I made note. He then said, "And I hate women!" To which I made a note. Then, looking at me and the necklace I was wearing (a cross), he said, "And I hate Christians!" To which I made a note. I made him aware that I had documented his feelings and that I could assure him we would not talk about white people, women or Christianity - BUT that I was the only counselor that would be working with him and asked which he hated the thought of more…"More prison or working with me" To which he said, "I will work with you." As a young counselor working with this new group of patients, I quickly came to terms with my own limitations and with the reality that I knew very little as to the personal issues and obstacles of the people I was working with - especially this man, whose name by the way, was John…street name "Catfish". His residency would be summarized as: He began defiant to pretty much every suggestion or direction I presented him with; Was initially angry most of the time; Eventually began to come around a bit; But ultimately ended treatment having not fully utilized the solutions found in the 12-step program and acting out on old behaviors which resulted in his eventual relapse. Although I realized that "I" could not have made those choices for him - I had been hoping so much to see the metaphorical "bell on that rod ring" and watch him take off into a new life. Several months went by and as I sat outside I heard a voice behind me, (the unmistakable voice of Catfish), as he said, "Miss Rebecca - please let me come back. I don't want no more stinky feet in my face." (John had been living in a homeless shelter). He said he would "do anything" to be able to come back...and so he did. In amazement, over the course of the next several months, I watched a miracle happen right before my eyes as he had made a decision within himself to do "whatever it took" to get clean and sober. One day as I came outside, walking towards me I saw John with a giant smile on his face showing his infamous 2 teeth that got him his street name ~ as he announced "Guess what Miss Rebecca? I don't hate white people no more! My sponsor is white. I don't hate Christians no more either cause I got saved! Oh, and Miss Rebecca, I LIKE women!" He and I both laughed in that parking lot until we had tears. Catfish went on to become a leader in our program's community. He lead by example to his own peers; did volunteer work, helped others and stayed sober. One day I was notified that he had been taken to the hospital & was in ICU. Upon arriving John was unconscious and as I stood at his bedside, (understanding the nature of his condition & that he would not survive) - I could not help but cry. Yes, my tears were because I was going to miss John very much. But the tears were also because I was overcome at once by the awe at what I had been allowed to experience with Catfish ~ for it was through him that I saw from a front row seat the limitlessness of God to restore wholeness and joy to a man. To take one who appeared on the outside to have impossible odds of ever changing, much less getting truly better...and using him to be a living breathing example of the miracle of recovery and testament of the unlimited mercy and grace of a loving God. I said goodbye to him that day and he passed shortly after - sober. About 13 years have passed from that day until now & one of the single greatest honors of my life was to have been privileged to have known John "Catfish" H. You see, until then I had thought I was in his life to help him start his journey with the ring of that bell….but found that ultimately God used Catfish to start mine. Rebecca B. (BeccainBham@aol.com)
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Recovery Bulletin Board
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JEANNIE SAROS
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National Board Certified Counselor EMDRA trained and certified Clinical Hypnotherapist Specializing in Trauma and Healing for Individuals and Families Curriculum Development and trainer/supervisor of a nationally recognized Recovery Coach Online Training Program Featured in documentary “Sobriety First”, local and state news, Vanity Fair Magazine and the New York Times for community and professional contributions
Holistic Life Coach Specializing In: Recovery/Addiction/Trauma Group & Individual Therapy Clinical Hypnotherapy, EMDR, Recovery Coach Training Offering “koffee and kounseling” as a free service to the community at Gizzies Coffee (2275 S.Federal Hwy, Delray Beach) every Tuesday from 7- 9, all seekers welcome! WEB SITE: http://authenticpresencecounseling.com EMAIL: jeanniesaros@authenticpresencecounseling.com FAX: 561.999.8853 OFFICE: 6699 South Federal Hwy, Suite 103, Boca Raton, FL 33487
Phone: 561-542-0941
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Ask Bill If an alcoholic comes to an A.A. meeting under the influence of alcohol, how do you treat him or handle him during the meeting? Groups will usually run amuck on that sort of question. At first we are likely to say that we are going to be supermen and save every drunk in town. The fact is that a great many of them just don't want to stop. They come, but they interfere very greatly with the meeting. Then, being still rather intolerant, the group will swing way over in the other direction and say, "No drunks around these meetings." We get forcible and put them out of the meeting, saying, "You're welcome here if your sober." But the general rule in most places is that if a person comes for the first or second time and can sit quietly in the meeting, without creating an uproar, nobody bothers him. On the other hand, if he's a chronic "slipper" and interferes with the meetings, we lead him out gently, or maybe not so gently, on the theory that one man cannot be permitted to hold up the recovery of others. The theory is "the greatest good for the greatest number." (Yale Summer School of Alcohol Studies, June
What is AA's relationship with the community? Alcoholics Anonymous once stood in no-mans land between medicine and religion. Religionists thought we were unorthodox; medicine thought we were totally unscientific. The last decade brought a great change in this respect. Clerics of every denomination declare that, while A.A. contains no shred of dogma, it has an impeccable spiritual basis, quite acceptable to men of all creeds, even the agnostic himself. You gentlemen of medicine also observe that AA is psychiatrically sound so far as it goes and that A.A. refers all bodily ills of its membership to your profession. Therefore, it is now clear that Alcoholics Anonymous is a synthetic construct which draws upon three sources, namely, medical science, religion and its own particular experience. Withdraw one of these supports and its platform of stability falls to earth as a farmer's three-legged milk stool with one leg chopped off. That you have invited me, an A.A. member, to sit in your councils today is a happy token of that fact, for which our society is deeply grateful. That, then, has Alcoholics Anonymous contributed as third partner of the recovery synthesis which promises so much to sufferers everywhere? Does Alcoholics Anonymous contain any new principles? Strictly speaking it does not. A.A. merely relates the alcoholic to the tested truths in a brand new way. He is now able to accept them where he couldn't before. Now he has a concrete program of action and the understanding support of a successful society of his fellows in which he carries that out. In all probability, these are the longmissing links in the recovery chain. (N.Y. State J. Med., Vol. 50, July 1950)
1945)
www.oraclediagnostic.com
954-430-5715
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The Wisdom of John Lennon A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect dream you dream together is reality. you can call me that... I believe in what I do, and I'll say it. All we are saying is give peace a chance. All you need is love. And God help Bruce Springsteen when they decide he's no longer God... They'll turn on him, and I hope he survives it.
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it.
If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche that must have been left behind in the Sixties, Possession isn't nine-tenths of the law. It's ninethat's his problem. Love and peace are eternal. tenths of the problem. If you tried to give rock and roll another name, If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace. you might call it 'Chuck Berry'.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. Surrealism had a great effect on me because then I realised that the imagery in my mind wasn't insanity. Surrealism to me is reality.
Everybody loves you when you're six feet in the ground. Everything is clearer when you're in love.
The more I see the less I know for sure. God is a concept by which we measure our pain. The postman wants an autograph. The cab driver wants a picture. The waitress wants a handshake. Everyone wants a piece of you.
I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now? I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people It doesn't matter how long my hair is or what call God is something in all of us. I believe that colour my skin is or whether I'm a woman or a what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all man. the rest said was right. It's just that the translations have gone wrong. Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. I don't believe in killing whatever the reason! I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
Love is the answer, and you know that for sure; Love is a flower, you've got to let it grow.
I'm not claiming divinity. I've never claimed purity of soul. I've never claimed to have the answers to life. I only put out songs and answer questions as honestly as I can... But I still believe in peace, love and understanding.
Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it.
The thing the sixties did was to show us the possibilities and the responsibility that we all had. It wasn't the answer. It just gave us a glimpse of the possibility. There's nothing you can know that isn't known. Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it. When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream.
My role in society, or any artist's or poet's role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle leader, but as a reflection of us all. I'm not going to change the way I look or the your jewelry. way I feel to conform to anything. I've always Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, and the be married. I'm not interested in being hip I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of stars, and the sun. those people.
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The Wit of Rodney Dangerfield A girl phoned me the other day and said... I told my wife the truth. I told her I was 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me went over. Nobody was home. the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he I was so ugly my mother used to feed me is seventy he still wants to reform the with a sling shot. world, but he knows he can't. I went to a fight the other night, and a I came from a real tough neighborhood. I hockey game broke out.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
put my hand in some cement and felt My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on I worked in a pet store and people would another hand. his lap. He was in the electric chair. ask how big I would get.
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home. My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. I have good looking kids. Thank goodness The other day she looked at my calendar I'm at the age where food has taken the my wife cheats on me. and wanted to know who May was. place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I had a mirror put over my kitchen table. On Halloween, the parents sent their kids didn't want to interrupt her. out looking like me. It's tough to stay married. My wife kissI looked up my family tree and found out es the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. from my glass. I was the sap. Because in every room he leaves a pyraI looked up my family tree and found Life is just a bowl of pits. three dogs using it. Most of the arguments to which I am I met the surgeon general - he offered party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neime a cigarette. ther I nor my opponent knows what we I told my dentist my teeth are going yel- are talking about.
mid.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations low. he told me to wear a brown tie. we're doing everything we can to keep My father carries around the picture of our marriage together. I told my psychiatrist that everyone the kid who came with his wallet. hates me. He said I was being ridiculous What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, everyone hasn't met me yet. my arm. my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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“Let Me Tell You About Anne Smith� by Dorothy Snyder, Dorothy was instrumental in the founding of Cleveland A.A That love of Anne's changed things. For me it was like the miracle coming to Paul on the road to Damascus. That night when I reached home I got down on my knees and prayed. I wanted to be different. My parents had always been normally religious. I had never been anything other than religious. But this was different. When anything of a memorial tribute is printed about Anne I hope it emphasizes this big point: She didn't want glorification for glory's sake. She would have hoped only to tell other wives how to carry on. She knew how to handle the wife of an alcoholic. She knew the days and nights full of despair, the poverty-stricken effort to keep up appearances, the unsatisfactory blending of shabbiness and pride. Time after time I saw her "My husband [Clarence Snyder] was 34 and an melt some other person's heart. alcoholic. Other people drank normally. My husband just got drunk.I was eternally on the A proud woman, a hard-shelled woman walked defensive. I couldn't read. I couldn't listen to in belligerently. She had her speech all prepared: "Well, Mrs. Smith," she began belligerently. good music. I couldn't enjoy anything. "Call me Anne, my dear." That love cracked the I tried to appear busy. I tried to avoid crowds. proud one, won her over. Put us at a party and either Joe [Clarence] would get drunk and pass out, which was preferable, or Anne was a good listener. She knew the therapy he'd start pawing the women, which was humil- of getting things off your chest. Things might iating. I felt as if I was 200 years old. All 200 have grown into an old story. But not with her. years were weighing me down when a friend of Every meeting with a newcomer was a fresh ours -- this was 12 years ago, and A.A. hadn't experience. She greeted strangers and listened gained much reputation -- persuaded Joe to for their names. Next time she'd be able to call them by name. In those early days there were no attend a meeting of alcoholics in Akron. women alcoholics in the group. They were just To myself I said between gritted teeth "I'll be wives -- those who still had wives. hanged if I want to associate with a bunch of drunks and their broken-down, haggard wives." Bill W. emphasizes that in those early days -1935, 1936, 1937 -- we few people were clingThen that first meeting. ing together, like a little group of persons saved I had lived on the surface for years. I could show from a shipwreck. In those early days most of us a surface kindliness, but I was bitter and resent- didn't have telephones. We were handed a little ful inside.The meeting was in somebody's address book. We were told "All our homes are home. I halted on the threshold that first open to you. Drop in any time." We did. evening, hesitant, fearful, not knowing what Many a time Joe and I dropped in on Dr. Bob might be ahead. I doubted the whole occasion. and Anne for a potluck meal. We might have This was Joe's affair. If it would bring about his bread and milk for supper. We might have sobriety, OK -- but it was not for me. I felt I did- corned beef hash for Sunday. There were no n't need it.Further, I rather enjoyed the hard shell apologies. Everybody was honest and genuine. I had built around myself. No one could hurt me We gave potluck dinners as we were all too poor any further. I had been shamed and ostracized to furnish much food. Those were the days when and pitied. I was proof against further hurts. with many people at the table we might have 11 And then this greeting. "Come in, my dear." It was Anne Smith. As gracious, as friendly, as charming as any woman I had ever met or known. If she had pitied me I would have fled in anger and disgrace. She was wise enough to know that. She understood. She knew that most wives of alcoholics feel fear. But you couldn't be afraid with Anne.
kinds of potato salad, because we were all too poor to buy wieners. Everyone brought food. I wonder if A.A.'s today appreciate how pitifully poor most of us were in those struggling days. It makes me sick to attend some A.A. groups today. I've visited A.A.'s from Ohio to California -- and see the wives sitting together, in a clique. They don't step out and meet the new ones.
Anne never forgot the newcomers. She knew the wives need hospitalization as much as the man. The alcoholic gets lots of attention -- the man's sponsor takes care of that. The other wives should look after the newcomer wife. Nowadays when many A.A.'s are back on their feet again and are fairly prosperous I am struck with the fact that at Christmas parties many A.A. women are gayly dressed. But the poor ones, the new ones, still too deep in debt to be nicely dressed, and with nothing to be gay about, they hang around the edges, feeling cold and lonely and forgotten. Anne Smith hated to wear a new dress. I remember one party we were all going to. I had my first new dress, the first bought since my husband had stayed sober long enough to hold down a decent job. I asked Anne which dress she was going to wear, because I knew she had two new ones.She answered, "I hate to wear a new dress. So many people will be there who can't afford a new one. I hate to embarrass them." It was a bigness of heart, this continual thinking of others besides herself, that enabled Anne to shape a formless group into what was presently to become A.A. in Akron. I hope we never lose sight of Anne's use of religion in building her own life and rebuilding the lives of the fearful wrecks who looked to her for guidance and strength. I hope we never forget her humility, her courage, her cheerfulness, her unsparing use of herself. Anne made me realize that all my years of misery have been of some account, because I have been able to translate them into usefulness; into helpfulness for other people. I have known women who, for instance, lost sons in the war, and ever since they live in the past, constantly bemoaning their loss and curdling every life they come in contact with. Why don't these lonesome and heartbroken women go and visit sick boys in the veterans' hospitals and try to bring a little cheer into the world? Anne didn't harm other people because she had suffered. Rather, her life was rich because she was able to help people. Anne never stopped living. She went on to reach out and touch other lives. I think of her every time I hear that familiar but little understood verse: "He that loseth his life shall save it." Anne lost herself in her work for A.A. Thereby she gained a new and bigger life. A Cleveland minister in writing about A.A. summed up in this sentence - "Freedom is the ability to get outside yourself and lose yourself in the thought and activities of others." That's what Anne did.
23 Debbie Strand
Breaking Down Recovery In Simple Terms Trust God, Clean House and Help Others..The End. That’s was the first thing I was told about 12 step recovery. I didn’t understand it then but I think at six years of recovery I understand it a little better. To trust God, all I have to do is let go and let things happen in their own natural order. Sounds easy enough but I think this is the hardest part of my recovery. How do I know when things are my will or when they are the will of this thing I call God? When I am constantly in a struggle to make something happen, when it never seems to be “going my way”, I think that is when I am trying to impose my own will. I believe things made of God will happen without such a struggle. This is the basic concept of letting go. My sponsor tells me all the time when I don’t know what to do, do nothing. Sometimes taking no action is the hardest thing I have to do. Letting things naturally unfold, watching for the balance of what is the foot work I need to do to reach goals I still have to set, living one day at a time, I first had to learn how to sit quietly. I have to trust I was made of God, to serve God and His people about me, doing the next right thing every day and every step of the way. When I am taking action to make something happen it makes me feel safe, like I have control which I know today is just an illusion. Thinking I can do or say something to make things go my way is manipulation. I am sure manipulation is not a character trait God intended me to use. That brings me to cleaning house. Cleaning house is connected to trusting God and getting connected to God. If I am of God created by God for God’s purpose, whatever that is, then I must live according to God. You are free to seek any God of your understanding. This is great since God has no ego and does not need you to believe He is a man in white robes or any other concept you may have been taught as a child. You are free to make any concept that works for you as long as you are not the God of your understanding. God simply wants us to do that which is right! Learning to live without minimizing our character defects is all we have to do. Shoot for perfection, yes, we will fall short. We are only human. Part of my character defects was an unforgiving heart and the person that was the hardest to forgive was me!! When God has already forgiven me, who am I to not forgive myself? Am I bigger than God? Of course not!! So I live each day being aware of the character defects my step work has helped me identify. Then I can do my best to not act out in them. Pausing when agitated has been a big help to me. Thankfully for my imperfect self there is a 10th step where when I fall short of these ideals, I get to quickly make amends for what I have done. As difficult as an amend may seem to be able to make, it is never as difficult as walking around with a knot in my stomach until I finally get the courage to just do it, get it over with! So when I live right, do the next right thing and care for other people, my house stays clean. That brings me to helping others. Helping others, being of service to God’s people about me, I whole heartedly believe is God’s will for us all to help each other. Yes, I get the benefits of feeling good to see someone change and I stay in alignment with what God’s will is for my life, but it also helps me to reinforce my own program when I am helping someone with step work. After all, the damage I did to my brain during the years of drinking and doing drugs has physically left craters on my brain and possibly holes in it. My brain may look like Swiss Cheese! So I need the constant reminders of what it used to be like for the times the thoughts slip in and tell me it will be okay to have a few drinks. Helping the chronic relapsers sometimes seems like a waste of everyone’s time but it shows me the insanity and shows me over and over that no one has ever come back from a relapse and said it was a better life than when they were in recovery. I have to remember I am not my thoughts, they do not control me and I have the ability to change my
thoughts the same way I can order vanilla ice cream and say, ‘no, wait, make it chocolate’. It is really that simple but sometimes not easy. With practice I am getting better at it. In helping others I have to watch that I am not enabling them and that I follow the basic rule of not doing for them what they can do for themselves. I was told when their drinking bothered me more than it bothered them, it was time to let them go. I cannot transmit something I don’t have. I have to have my program in order first. It is like being on an airplane when they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others. So you can see how these are all connected. We are all connected to each other. When the life of one person is changed for the better, the world is changed for the better. We never know when someone first arrives through the doors of a 12 step meeting what their purpose will be, whose life they may change when they are well and how it will affect the world at large. It’s the ripple effect. The truth is the entire process which rolls so naturally from one step to the next. It must have been divinely inspired. Debbie Strand is the Executive Director of Freedom From Addiction Foundation (FFAFOUNDATION.COM) and the Host of Sober In The City radio show launching in a city near you soon! (SOBERINTHECITY.COM) SOBRIETY DATE 12-7-04
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Emmet Fox Speaks Mind Your Own Business One of the first rules on the spiritual path is that you must attend strictly to your own business and not interfere with that of others. Your neighbor's life is sacred and you have no right to try to manage it for him. Let him alone. God has given him free will and selfdetermination, so why should you interfere? Many well meaning people are constantly "butting in"" to their neighbors' lives without invitation. They pretend to themselves that their only desire is to help, but this is self-deception. It is really a desire to interfere. Interference always does more harm than good. Actually those who mind other people's business always neglect their own. The man who wants to put your house in order has always made a failure of his own life. M.Y.O.B. Of course, this does not mean that you are not to help people whenever you can; in fact, you should make it a rule to try to do at least one kind act every day; but you must do it without interfering or encroaching. When in doubt, claim Divine Guidance. It is always right to give your neighbor the right thought. Under any circumstances it can only do good to "Golden Key" him when you think of him. Don't fuss - God is running the universe.
You see God in every change, for every change is an unfoldment and a promotion. You know that God is outside of time, that time is an illusion of our limited mind. As you are one with Him, so there is no past to hold you down. No past hurts or injuries, no sufferings and no past mistakes, because they are as smoke and mist that the rising sun dissolves. You cannot ever find yourself anywhere but that God is already there, knowing you and loving you. Nothing can ever come to you but by the action of God. We are all children of God and we can express only God. Nothing can come to you but the glory of God. You watch the stars come out in the heavens; you watch the rising or setting sun. You do not try to bring these things to pass—you could not. But you rejoice in it, watch it, and thank God that these things are true. If you were foolish enough to want to change these things, you could not. You could change your belief about them or forget about them, but you could not change them. Now you have prayed this prayer, and it is a perfect prayer because God prayed it through you. Man does not pray; man prays the thing God gives him. This prayer could not be more powerful, because God made it. We thank God for it; we believe in it. We know it will demonstrate, and so it will.
TAKE IT EASY DON'T HURRY. You are going to live forever—somewhere. In fact, you are in eternity now; so why rush? DON'T WORRY. What will this thing matter in twenty years' time? You belong to God, and God is Love; so why fret?
DON'T CONDEMN. As you cannot get under the other fellow's MEDITATION skin, you cannot possibly know what difficulties he has had to meet—how much temptation, or misunderstanding, or stupidity RELAX in the assurance that God has all power, boundless within himself he has had to overcome. You are not perfect resources, infinite intelligence, and that God is love. yourself and might be much worse in his shoes. Judge not! God knows you, loves you, and cares for you. You are very DON'T RESENT. If wrong has been done, the Great Law will dear to Him, your welfare is dear to God. He cares for you. You are a necessary part of God. You are His expression on surely take care of it. Rise up in consciousness and set both this plane. God wishes you to be healthy and happy and free, yourself and the delinquent free. Forgiveness is the strongest learning more about Him every day. You know that, so you coop- medicine. erate. You want this too, and that is all that is necessary. DON'T GRUMBLE. Consume your own smoke. Your own concept You want God. You want a sense of His presence with you, is what you see; so treat, and change that. and the peace and joy that comes with this. You want to cut all cables that may be holding you down—so they are cut. It is God DON'T GRAB. You cannot hold what does not belong to you by who does the cutting and freeing, for God is with you. You feel right of consciousness anyway. Grabbing postpones your good. His presence with you. You know you are surrounded with Him, DON'T SHOVE. You are always in your right place at the by Him. There is no fear, because God loves you. You want Him. That moment. If you don't like it, change it scientifically by rising in is loving Him, and divine love casts out fear. All is well. You are consciousness. This will be permanent. one with Him now, and you know it. It is obvious to any one reading this page that the work of You will never be nearer to God through all eternity than you Emmet Fox resonates with the words in the Big Book. Bill borare at this moment. As time passes, you will realize it more and rowed many of them from Dr. Fox. If you have interest in his more, that you will not be any nearer to Him than you are now. work a couple of good starting points would be: God will never love you more than He does now; He could not. You know that, you rejoice in it. http://emmetfox.net Nothing can move you from your base because you know that http://emmetfox.wwwhubs.com there is no power but the one Power.
S.L.I.P.S
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{of the tongue}
— Believing in God is easier than coming up with bail — And the result was nil until we let go of the Absolut. money! — Our leaders are but trusted serpents. — Our leaders are but twisted servants. — Came to believe that our wives had become unmanageable. — Please help me start this meeting with a moment of violence, followed by the serenity prayer!! — Sought through prayer and medication to improve our concious contact with GOD.
— Lest problems of money, puberty, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose. — Made a searching and fearful moral inventory of ourselves. — That feeling of usefulness and self-pity will disappear. —Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or their mothers. — God could and would if he wore socks!
— Came to believe that a powder greater than our- — Rarely have we seen a person who has thoroughly selves could restore us to sanity.— and c) that God followed our path. Those who do, recover! could and would if he were sober. — We are like men who have lost their legs . . . we — Give us 90 days and if you like it your misery will be never have to buy a pair of shoes again. promtly refunded . — We have friend who after listening to an inspirational speaker went to the speaker after the meeting to voice his appreciation and with a slip of the tongue said, “I want to SPANK you for speaking.” — In describing ones feelings prior to recovery, one said, “I had a huge gut in my hole!” — Thoroughly have we seen a person fail who has rarely followed our path.
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Chef Lester’s Sober Sideboard
Fellowship, Fellowship, Fellowship can be so rewarding. Taking that one step forward is taking this idea and proceeding to go to those who can not come to us. We often go to early meetings and get out in sufficient time to take a crock-pot dinner or microwave re-heat casserole to share with a shut-in. We call our little group the “Bungalow Buddy Brigrade.” We make the arrangements in advance for a time that is convenient for our home-bound friends. When we can schedule it after a regular meeting we find the enthusiasm of the previous meeting spills over into our second gathering. There is no protocol we follow. Sharing the topic of the meeting we just attended, reading from the Big Book and talking about our strengths, hope and experience as we enjoy a meal together is rewarding. We feel it lifts our spirits even more so than the person we took the meeting to. Since giving to others is a major part of keeping what was “so freely given” to us, is in our program, we find this form of giving back to be most rewarding. This year sure is breezing and freezing along quite fast. And, I do mean breezing and freezing! Wow, we have had some rather windy and frightful cold days the beginning months of this year. It is wonderful to linger after meetings to visit with so many of our “arctic” friends from the frozen north, who have escaped the snow for Florida weather. Unfortunately, the weather hasn’t been as warm as we residents of the sunshine state prefer. Still, when we see the weather reports of the cold-cold north…it is better in the deep-deep south!
We have a marvelous crock-pot dish to share in this edition of the Sober Sideboard. It is ideal for any occasion. It’s great for a family or company get together. If you choose to feature it in a meeting after the meeting for a shut-in friend it will be double please. To re-phrase one of signature trademark lines…”Try it…your HEART will be glad you did!” This scrumptious chicken dish is our laid back version of a creamy northern Italian dish from Tuscany. So, let’s grab our chef hats and aprons and head for the kitchen.
Fellowship among ourselves is so important. Staying in touch with each other can be vital to our well being. We have a few friends in the program who are now homebound. They are no longer physically able to get to meetings as they once did. One area we who are able can be of service is to bring fellowship to them. It is not uncommon these days to find those who have now been in programs for thirty plus years. Getting together for a “mini” meeting with them can be rewarding. In our column we have over the years written about the meeting after the meeting. A potluck, buffet, or dessert affair to extend our fellowship time
CHICKEN ITALIANO (Serves 4)
INGREDIENTS: 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 4 large skinless boneless chicken breasts or 8 thighs 1 package of dry Italian salad dressing mixed with 1/4 cup of water 1 8 ounce package of softened cream cheese
1 10 3/4 ounce can of condensed cream of chicken soup 1 package frozen pearl onions 8 ounces thinly sliced fresh mushrooms
PREPARATION: Heat the oil in a skillet to medium high heat and sauté the chicken until lightly browned. Add the Italian dressing and water. Scrape to loosen the brown bits on bottom of the pan. Pour the mixture into a crock pot. Mix the cream cheese and chicken soup together then stir it into the crock along with the onions. Cover and cook over low heat 4 hours. Stir in the thin sliced mushrooms about 1/2 hour before serving.
SERVING: You can serve this marvelous chicken entrée right in the crock-pot. Sprinkle chopped green onions or parsley as a garnish. Terrific sides are quick chicken Raman noodles, a steam-in-pouch of your favorite veggies, a “sinful” deli dessert and hot coffee. This meal is easy to put together and easy to transport if you share it with a home-bound friend. However you do it all who partake will be clucking your praises with “That’s DEE-licious!” “Try it…Your tummy will be glad you did! –Chef Lester *************************** Chef Lester, author, columnist, and television host chef is a graduate of the Culinary arts Academy. Questions comments, and suggestions?
E-mail: cheflesterlee@yahoo.com *****************************
Want to find more quick and easy and healthy recipes fromChef Lester? All his previous articles are archived at
solutionnews.org
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TIME GETS BETTER WITH AGE I've learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sings "Silent Night". Age 5 I've learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either. Age 7 I've learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back. Age 9 I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again. Age 12
I've learned that you can make some I've learned that making a living is not one's day by simply sending them a little the same thing as making a life. note. Age 58 Age 44 I've learned that if you want to do someI've learned that the greater a person's thing positive for your children, work to sense of guilt, the greater his or her improve your marriage. need to cast blame on others. Age 61 Age 46 I've learned that life sometimes gives I've learned that children and grandpar- you a second chance. ents are natural allies. Age 62 Age 47 I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back. Age 64
I've learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up. Age 14 I've learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are I've learned that no matter what hapstrict with me. pens, or how bad it seems today, life does Age 15 go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that silent company is often Age 48 more healing than words of advice. Age 24
I've learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures. Age 26 I've learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there. Age 29
I've learned that singing "Amazing Grace" can lift my spirits for hours. Age 49
I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you. Age 65 I've learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision. Age 66 I've learned that everyone can use a prayer. Age 72
I've learned that even when I have pains, I've learned that motel mattresses are I don't have to be one. better on the side away from the phone. Age 82 Age 50
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that if someone says some- Age 51 thing unkind about me, I must live so that I've learned that keeping a vegetable no one will believe it. garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of Age 30 pills. I've learned that there are people who Age 52 love you dearly but just don't know how I've learned that regardless of your relato show it. tionship with your parents, you miss them Age 42 terribly after they die. Age 53
I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. Age 90 I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. Age 92 I've learned that you should pass this one on to someone you care about.Sometimes they just need a little something to make them smile.
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Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder ... I have recently been diagnosed with Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder (AAADD). This is how it goes ...
er and there's my extra pair of glasses on the kitchen counter. What are they doing here? I'll just put them away...
I decide to wash the car, start toward the garage and notice the mail on the table.
BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! Someone left the TV remote in the wrong spot. Okay, I'll put the remote away and water the plants...
OK, I'm going to wash the car... BUT FIRST I'm going to go through the mail. I lay the car keys down on desk. After discarding the junk mail, I notice the trash can is full. OK, I'll just put the bills on my desk.... BUT FIRST I'll take the trash out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox, I'll address a few bills.... Yes, Now where is the checkbook? Oops... there's only one check left. Where did I put the extra checks? Oh, there's my empty plastic cup from last night on my desk. I'm going to look for those checks... BUT FIRST I need to put the cup back in the kitchen. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice the flowers need a drink of water, I put the cup on the count-
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BUT FIRST I need to find those checks. END OF DAY: car not washed, bills still unpaid, cup still in the sink, checkbook still has only one check left, lost my car keys; and, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm baffled because... I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious... I'd get help... BUT FIRST...I think I'll check my e-mail!
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Parting Shots: Daffynissions Bozone - the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunateaccordionated - able to drive and refold a road map at the same ly, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. time bris and tell - a detailed description given by parents of their child's circumcision, generally spoken quite loud in front of the aeroma - the odor emanating from an exercise room after an grown child and those people he would aerobics workout least like to hear the story abundunce - a dumb bunny
Alfred Hitchcooking - the act of stabbing the frozen peas to get them to cook faster ambidextrose - able to put sugar in coffee with both hands amoebit - an amoeba/rabbit cross able to multiply and divide at the same time andropause - the end of virility anthropawmorphic - a dog with hands an udder failure - a cow that doesn't give milk
bromo-sexual - an individual who finds sex nauseating Bruise Lee - an inept martial-arts student bureaucat - kitty who sleeps on your undies burgacide - when a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals burglesque - a poorly planned break-in; see Watergate bustard - very rude metro bus driver
anythingarian - a person who changes religions religiously
buzzacks - people in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not aquadextrous - possessing the ability to turn the bathtub connected faucet on and off with one's toes cabinicreep - When closing one kitchen cabinet causes another aqualibrium - the point at which the stream of drinking water to open is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from: (a) carperpetuation - the act, when vacuuming, of running over a having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over audioptics - the act of turning down the car stereo while look- and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance ing for an address in an unknown neighborhood baggravation - a feeling of annoyance and anger one endures at cashtration - the act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period the airport when his bags have not arrived at the baggage carousel but everyone else's bags have caterpallor - the color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating bananosecond - time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement Catifornia - the sunshine state for cats bathquake - the violent quake that rattles the entire house catolick - a religiously clean kitty when the water faucet is turned on to a certain point chairity - donating your La-Z-Boy baudy house - a bordello with a modem Chequeuary - the thirteenth month of the year. Begins New bawlroom - a hospital nursery Year's Day and ends when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his checks. Beelzebug - Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your chicloexdus - the route taken by a gumball to avoid capture bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out chirpes - a canarial disease, no tweetment bizoo - one of the millions of tiny individual bumps that make up a basketball choconiverous - biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first Bong TV - only has one channel; anything else is irrelevant
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Parting Shots: True Facts Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world, there is a duck watching you. You can't hum while holding your nose closed. You're more likely to die on your way to buy a lottery ticket than you are to actually win the lottery. If you touch your tongue while yawning, it can stop the yawn. THIS IS CRUEL: 'Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia' is the fear of long words. Women speak about 7000 words a day. The average man averages just over 2000. No word in the English language rhymes with purple, orange, month or silver. The total weight of all the ants on Earth is about the same as the weight of all the humans on earth. Usually, just thinking (or reading) about yawning will make you yawn. Those stars and colours you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes.
An elephant can die from a broken heart. A Rubik's cube has 43,252,003,274,489,856,000 possible configurations. 'racecar' is spelled the same forwards and backwards. It cost 7 milion dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it. Two per cent of the Earth’s people have red hair. “Dreamt” is the only word in the English Language tha ends in “mt”. India has more cell phones than toilets. 'Dysania' is the state of finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning. There are more plastic flamingos in America than real ones. It you walk and talk with someone eventually you will synchronize your steps with them. The longest English word, at 45 letters, is 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis'. In Japan they have square watermelons.
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