Cotu positive parenting april

PUBLISHER 2Luni Media EDITOR Linda Navon 071 346 8138 OUR “Little Boss” Carmen Ché Jardim SALES & MARKETING Cj Stott Matticks 082 900 1010 FREELANCE WRITER Arizona Quinn DISTRIBUTION & RESEARCH Lee Coulter OFFICES Sonata Square Olivedale TEL: (011) 462-2900 0110 262 643 FOR ADVERTISING PLEASE CALL Cj ON 082 900 1010 Email: candida@childoftheuniverse.co.za DISCLAIMER The views expressed in this publication are those of the authors and not necessarily those of the editor, advertisers or endorsers. While every effort has been made to ensure that the contents of this publication are both accurate and truthful, the publisher and editor accept no responsibility for inaccurate or misleading information that may be contained herein. www.childoftheuniverse.co.za

ed’s letter Hello lovely people Well, first term and the school holidays are over, along with all the long weekends and plenty of chocolate bunnies (..of the organic variety I hope – otherwise your little darlings will still be climbing the walls!)

I am still guzzling away at the convenient packs of ‘on the go’ which we suggest you add to your children’s lunch boxes.

We have an interview with MaryAnn, the Nutrition Specialist, on lunch box ideas and healthy eating, plus an article on daily lunch box menus for your convenience.

April is Autism Awareness month, so familiarize yourselves on the topic and perhaps educate your children about kids with special needs

As usual, we have a variety of interesting topics along with tips on caring for your pets, how to deal with anxious children, bullies and the very sad but real consequences – and some suggested reading for children of all ages.

MEDIA PARTNERS Please enter our competitions – we have some super hampers up for grabs.

Enjoy the last few warm days before Winter kicks in.

Until next month, be well and keep smiling Linda xxx

Positive Parenting Contributing Team & Experts HANNA KOK

MARNIE

AMY McCREADY

HEATHER PICTON

LEIGH DAVIES

GREGG PRESCOTT

MARGIE McALPINE

HELEN HANSEN

DANIEL HOFINGER

KATRINA SCHWARTZ

VALERIE DENEEN

LISA RALEIGH

contents YUMMY TUMMY        

INSPIRING CONSCIOUS PARENTING – HEALTHY EATING LUNCH BOX IDEAS WITH MARY-ANN SHEARER PULSES – WHAT & WHY? BEAN THERE – DONE THAT! 10 DAYS OF AFTER SCHOOL SNACKS – NO REPEATS ON THE GO – SCRUMPTIOUS SNACKS JUICED CO FOR KIDS HEALTHY QUICK RECIPES

BABIES & BEYOND

 BIRTH INTO BEING  EMPOWERING NATURAL BIRTH  BECOME A KIDS’ YOGA TEACHER

PARENTING        

RAISING A LOW MEDIA CHILD BEHAVING IN THE CAR AUTISM AWARENESS MONTH BARS TREATMENT FOR AUTISM & DOWNS MY EVERYDAY LIFE AS AN AUTISM MOM HOW TO CALM AN ANXIOUS CHILD INCORPORATING SUPPLEMENTS IN YOUR DAILY REGIME 10 ASSUMPTIONS WE SHOULD STOP MAKING ABOUT BOYS

contents YOUTH OF THE NATION

 BULLYING AND HOW IT LED TO ONE YOUNG BOY’S SUICIDE – WE HAVE A PROBLEM ON OUR HANDS  ADD/ADHD – VITAMINS & SUPPLEMENTS  KEENMIND

REACH OUT

 SUNFLOWER FOUNDATION – HOW STEM CELL DONARS CAN SAFE LIVES PAINLESSLY  BEAUTIFUL YOU – JENITA IS DOING IT FOR THE COMMUNITY  THE HOPE PROJECT – BASIC HELP NEEDED FOR WHITE SQUATTERS AND THEIR CHILDREN ANIMAL WORLD  A PLEA FROM PAUL – HOW TO FEED YOUR PETS A HEALTHY BENEFICIAL DIET  THE VONDIS HEALTH FOOD RANGE  ANIMA-LOVE

STORYTIME

 TIKA & LION – IN THE OLDEN DAYS  RECOMMENDED BOOKS FOR CHILDREN & TEENS

COMPETITIONS - ENTER TO WIN WONDERFUL HAMPERS    

LCN BEAUTY & NAIL PRODUCTS HAY HOUSE BOOK HAMPERS ON THE GO SNACK-PACKS USN HEALTH SUPPLEMENTS

While basic trail mixes have been around for many years, usually based around fried peanuts etc, On The Go is a premium market brand using a wide range of choice grade fruits and nuts.

With interesting inclusions such as swirls, lemon twists etc, we have not only created a unique taste profile, we have created a unique selling proposition.

AVAILABLE AT THESE FINE STORES     

Clicks Dischem SG Convenience stores Makro Game

Contact On the Go Tel: +27 31 569 5424 admin@weronthego.co.za www.weronthego.co.za

www.helenhansen.co Q1: Do you think nourishing food can affect your child's experience at school?

Q2: How can you ensure your child eats the food packed in the lunchbox?

A1: A study published in the journal Public Health Nutrition looked at the connection between food and assessment results at primary school. It was found that brain function is optimal amongst students who eat a healthy breakfast and continue to eat nutritious food throughout the day. Leafy greens are a powerful source of brain food as well as emotional stabilizers. You can sneak them into juices by covering them up with apples, cucumbers and pineapple. A wonderfully sweet way to start the day.

A2: If your 'sweetie pie', 'munchkin' or 'sausage' (btw: why do we talk about our kids in terms of food?) comes home with uneaten food in the lunch box, try out Mary-Ann Shearer's suggestion. Mary-Ann is a Natural Health Expert of 30 years and you can listen to her advice here. She also gives ideas for nutritious lunch box snacks.

Click here to listen to this audio.

Lunch box ideas from Mary-Ann Shearer Listen to this snippet (less than 4 minutes) of Helen Hansen’s interview with Mary-Ann Shearer, Natural Health Expert.

Here she gives down to earth ideas to keep kids excited about eating their lunch at school.

Mary-Ann Shearer, author of the bestselling books on natural health in the Southern Hemisphere, The Natural Way – A Family’s Guide to Vibrant Health and The Natural Way Recipe Books 1 & 2, Healthy Kids, Perfect Weight, Take Control and Perfect Health – The Natural Way brings to you the comprehensive Natural Health and Nutrition Home Study Course.

The full interview is available as part of the ‘Inspirational Parenting Guide’, available here.

Vegetarian & Vegan Restaurant · Health Food Shop Natural Beauty Products Food For Life Training Courses 959 Sir Lowry’s Pass Road Gordon's Bay Phone: (021) 856-2500.

ONLINE SHOP www.naturalway.co.za

,

By Lisa Raleigh

We know that we need fish oils and Omega 3 in our diets and that supplementation is a good idea in this regard. But what many of us don’t know is that Omega 3 contains two complementary fatty acids, both of which serve different functions in the body, and both of which we need.

EPA and DHA are two of the most essential acids This fatty acid reduces levels of required by the body, helping prevent heart disease, blood triglycerides, helping to high cholesterol, depression and rheumatoid arthritis, reduce the risk of heart disease, to name a few. When looking for a good Omega 3 supplement or food source, it’s important to identify and helps improve visual and that both EPA and DHA are present. attention acuity… …helping to prevent heart disease, high cholesterol, depression and rheumatoid arthritis to name a few.

EPA Fatty Acids Technically known as Eicosapentaenoic acid, EPAs can be ingested by eating oily fish or fish oil – like salmon, cod liver, mackerel, herring and sardines. EPA is the fatty acid most responsible for lowering inflammation in the body. It is thought to improve patients’ response to chemotherapy, as well as lower the likelihood of developing certain cancers. EPA has also shown impressive benefits in reducing symptoms of schizophrenia, depression and suicidal behaviour.

…supplements have also been created from algae to provide vegetarian / vegan supplements.

DHA Fatty Acid DHA is the most abundant Omega 3 fatty acid found in the brain and retina. Much of the DHA we take in comes from oily fish, although supplements have also been created from algae to provide vegetarian / vegan supplements.

Seaweed on its own is not a strong source of DHA – only the concentration into a supplement form offers the body the DHA levels it needs. DHA is also found in breast milk, more so if the mother has a diet high in fish. This fatty acid reduces levels of blood triglycerides, helping to reduce the risk of heart disease, and helps improve visual and attention acuity – beneficial to pregnant women. More recently, DHA has also been shown to increase the effects of chemotherapy in prostate cancer cells.

…one should not look to plant sources alone…

Why ALAs aren’t enough Many plant sources contain Omega 3 fatty acids, but they do not produce DHA or EPA. Rather, they are usually high in ALA, or Alphalinolenic acid. Flaxseeds, chia seeds and canola oil are all good examples. While the body can convert ALA to EPA and a very small amount of DHA, this conversion is not considered efficient and it depends on other factors, including oestrogen levels. When considering a healthy source of Omega 3, one should not look to plant sources alone, as these will not provide sufficient amounts of DHA or EPA.

By Lisa Raleigh

Sugar Body Scrub Since we kicked sugar out our diets, most of us have some sitting unused in the cupboard – perfect for a body scrub!

Ingredients: Makes roughly 1 ½ cups 1 cup brown or white sugar 1 cup oil of choice (coconut or olive is best) 4 drops of quality essential oils – we like lavender best!

Method: 1. Combine all ingredients in a bowl and stir thoroughly.

2. Store in a glass container (essential oils will damage the plastic and metals change the properties of the oils).

Avocado Salad with Toasted Nuts and Seeds Ingredients: 3 T cashew nuts 3 T walnuts 1 T sunflower seeds 1 T black sesame seeds 1 T white sesame seeds 3 ripe avos juice of 1 lemon Fresh chives, finely chopped 3 T sprouts of your choice Big handful fresh coriander, chopped Salt and pepper

Method: • Preheat your oven to 200C. • Spread all nuts and seeds in a small baking tin and toast in the oven for a few minutes or until golden. Tip them into a mortar and lightly crush with a pestle then set aside.

• Cut your avos into bite size chunks, throw into a bowl and add in the lemon juice, chives and seasoning.

• Dress with the seeds, nuts and sprouts, garnishing with the coriander.

Having a selection of snacks ready and available for the kids when they come home from school can be an effective way of saving time during the busy weekdays. If your family is stuck in a snack rut, it may be time to try mixing things up a bit by adding some more variety. This list contains enough snack ideas for 10 days or 2 full weeks of school without repeating the same snack twice.

Get the full list here.

Pulses are little nutritional powerhouses that we should all include in our diets The United Nations declared 2016 as the International Year of the Pulses (IYP). The hope is to position pulses as a primary source of protein and other essential nutrients.

Pulses are little nutritional powerhouses that we should all include in our diets, yet so many of us don’t know what a pulse actually is.

Pulses are part of the legume family, but the term “pulse” refers only to the dried seed such as dried peas, beans, lentils and chickpeas. All of these can be sprinkled on salads, added to soups, stews and curries or eaten plain as snacks.

Here are some of the many benefits of pulses: Pulses are a great source of protein, making them an excellent alternative to meat, fish or dairy products. You can also add pulses to meat dishes to add extra texture and flavour while using less meat, which makes dish healthier, lower in fat and more economical.

Pulses are a good source of iron, vitamins and minerals. They add fibre to your meals, reducing the risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes. One cup of cooked lentils contains more than 15g of fibre, meeting 60 percent of your daily recommended value.

Pulses are also high in potassium. Including more potassium-rich foods in your diet can lower blood pressure by counteracting the effects of sodium.

Pulses will give you sustained energy all day with their low glycaemic index. Foods with a low glycaemic index cause only a small rise in blood sugar, while foods with a high glycaemic index cause a spike in blood sugar.

The official South African signature dish for the IYP is a traditional potjie. The following link shows a step by step guide on how to make this delicious dish: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oY1x0bnm-aw The following brands are partners of IYP in South Africa: Tiger Brands

Pouyoukas Foods AGT Foods Africa The Heart and Stroke Foundation SA

Bean there done that It’s time to get back to basics and to that little pulse with lots of protein. The bean, a centuries old staple food, is healthy, nutritious and sustainably-produced. It is an excellent source of protein, fibre and micronutrients and an essential addition to a health-conscious diet.

Try this Pouyoukas 5 Bean Mix salad. It’s economical and delicious. One cup of raw beans makes 2¾ cups cooked beans. Remember to soak the beans overnight in cold water or, for a short cut, cover and microwave for three minutes on high, then leave to stand for 30 minutes.

Zesty 5 bean salad Ingredients

Method

4 cups cooked Pouyoukas 5 Bean Mix Juice and zest of 1 large lemon 5cm piece fresh ginger, grated 4 tablespoons (60 ml) olive oil 3 spring onions, finely chopped 200 g shredded carrot

In a large bowl, combine the 5 Bean Mix, lemon juice, lemon zest, ginger, olive oil, spring onions, parsley and carrot. Season well with sea salt and freshly ground black pepper. Cover and refrigerate for 30 minutes to 1 hour before serving. This salad can be made a day in advance and left in the fridge to marinate and absorb the flavours.

Beetroot Boost The mighty beetroot can be a great natural boost as we head into Winter. Here are some tips on how to use the glorious vegetable…

To prepare a great beetroot booster, juice one medium beetroot, one to two apples and two to three medium carrots (no need to cook the beetroot first). To increase its medicinal value, add a teaspoonful of lime juice to beetroot juice. Fresh beet juice mixed with a tablespoonful of honey and taken every morning before breakfast helps the healing of gastric ulcer.

Traditionally beet juice, combined with the juices of carrot and cucumber, is one of the finest cleansers for the kidneys and gall bladder.

Beets contain an abundance of minerals: potassium, phosphorus, calcium, sulphur, iodine, iron, manganese, chlorine, and copper, as well as traces of the rare metals rubidium and caesium; vitamins B1, B2, niacin, B6, B12, C, P, and beta carotene; flavonoids; natural sugar, and a good quality and quantity of amino acids. Always use organically grown beetroots.

kids range

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For full information, dates and times go to www.helenhansen.co

This E-book provides information about many different developmental areas of the young child, such as the brain, the senses, emotions and the imagination. It includes experiential exercises for individuals or groups. Colourful pictures throughout. Plus five wholesome stories.

To place your order, email: info@helenhansen.co with the subject line: Book Order.

R77.00

PREPARING FOR CHILDBIRTH WITH BIRTH INTO BEING The Birth into Being methodology has 19 processes. These processes are gentle, safe and prepare parents to be holistically ready for transformation.

The Conscious Birth classes cover natural birthing techniques, breathing and nourishment for the body. Over and above this, and the reason why this modality is so effective, is that it includes emotional and psychological preparation for birth. This is the foundation for creating a birth that is successful. It is been proven by doctors, doulas and midwives time and again that the majority (nearly 90%) of complications at birth arise due to unresolved psychological issues in either the mother or father.

The Birth into Being experiential exercises empower you to create new reference points for yourself, i.e. build a foundation that is loving, supportive and fulfilling. This new information is sent to your nervous system, limbic (emotional) hardware and your cellular structure providing you with a favourable landscape on which to paint the masterpiece of your choice.

At the Birth into Being workshops you will be given the opportunity to: Learn: about all stages of birth from pre-conception through to the 3 year old. What impact do you and your environment have on your unborn or young child and how will this affect their perceptions, behaviour patterns and adult life?

Clear: emotions and/or psychological trauma, breaking the cycle of your imprint affecting your baby. Through this process you will minimise the possibility of complications at birth.

Be aware: of the many options for birthing, including ones that are pleasurable and positive.

Dad’s will be aware: of how to support the mother, how to be present during the birth and what to expect during the different stages of birthing.

Antenatal/Pregnancy classes available in Joburg View Schedule and Agenda Here Birth into Being training for Doulas and Midwives – request info@helenhansen.co

by Genevieve Hey mamas! I’m enjoying some downtime with my new baby girl here, so I have a few guest posts lined up from some of my favorite bloggers. Today I’m excited to share this comprehensive and creative post from Mindy Wood! Mindy writes about simple living over at PurposefullySimple.com Enjoy!

We all know that screen time in excess can be harmful to infants and toddlers, and that it isn’t great for older children either. And I would guess that there aren’t too many parents out there that want their children to struggle with things like obesity, ADHD or or cognitive and language development; so why are so many young children still watching too much TV? Well, because parents are tired! Caregiving—especially quality caregiving— requires a ridiculous amount of attention, patience and energy. It’s totally understandable to want a few moments of peace every day to (gasp!) use the bathroom alone. So, are a few minutes of television going to irrevocably damage your child? Of course not. But what if you could have a break without using the TV or your iPhone to entertain your little one?

Luckily there IS a way to have a low media (or media free) child without losing your mind. The answer is…

Self-directed play!

Self-directed or independent play is play chosen, initiated and directed by the child.

When your child is able to engage in independent play, being with your child becomes less demanding. You are no longer the entertainment. You can sit back and just observe what your child is exploring. You may be able to read, check your email, work, eat chocolate—whatever—and all while he plays and explores. What a relief! Cultivating intrinsically motivated, independent exploration does more than just give parents a break though. Self-directed play builds social and emotional health, confidence, creativity, self-discipline and problem solving skills. TV can’t even touch those awesome benefits! In fact, TV damages a child’s instinct for discovery and self-directed play. Not only is increased TV viewing linked to shorter attention spans, but TV viewing encourages the need and desire to be entertained over interest in discovery and exploration. So the more TV they watch the less they are able to engage in self-directed play and the more they “need” TV. Well, that’s a bummer. Luckily, self-directed play can take care of your need for a break as well as encourage your child to engage in more self-directed play! So, the 10 million dollar question is: how do you get your child to play independently?

Turn Off the TV As I said, watching TV can actually decrease children’s ability to engage in self-directed play so stopping TV viewing is an obvious first step. Some families will find that going cold turkey works best while others gradually wean TV watching out of their child’s daily schedule. It will also depend on your child’s age.

Create a Safe and Engaging Environment The way you design your environment will depend on many factors but here are some guidelines to get you started. Don’t be overwhelmed; there are many inexpensive ways to create an appealing environment for your child. Be creative! Safety is the number one concern. If you want to be able to leave the room or focus your attention elsewhere, the environment must be 100% safe. This might mean gating off unsafe rooms or gating an area of your living room for the child to enjoy. If you can, an outdoor space is wonderful! If you have an open floor plan, a wood stove or lots of stairs it can be challenging but gates, outlet covers and drawer locks are your friends! Organize your child’s play space so that it is engaging and orderly.

Children are especially sensitive to disorder. Keeping things neat, tidy and uncluttered (as best you can!) helps your child to stay focused. Instead of putting toys into large toy boxes, place materials in smaller baskets, on trays or on shelves. This makes viewing and choosing materials easy (learning to put them away is much easier too). Make sure all materials are accessible to your child (they don’t have to ask you to get something down) but remember that if they are not using a material appropriately you can always put it away for another day. Find a balance between enough toys to offer choices but not too many so that your child feels overwhelmed or overstimulated.

When there are too many toys children tend to play with each one for a shorter time.

You can store excess toys and rotate them out depending on what she is most interested in. When you rotate these toys back in it’s like having brand new toys! Child sized tables and chairs are a great addition to the play space.

When a child sits in a chair that is just his size he is more confident and able to focus on his activities. Child size furniture can be expensive but you can save a lot by finding them used or you can get creative and use what you have available (we used a file folder as a mini table for the longest time!). Stools are great for cultivating independence as they help your child to do a lot for themselves that they would otherwise need help with (reaching the sink, removing clothing, helping with cooking).

Choose Toys Wisely When selecting or deciding whether to keep a toy remember that simple is good.

Choose toys that will foster imagination and discovery rather than toys that move or make noise. In fact, get rid of (or take the batteries out of) all battery-powered toys. As infant expert Magda Gerber said “Active toys make passive children; passive toys make active children.” And active children are wonderful at discovering fun and entertaining activities that will keep them engaged! Here are some ideas for toys and stations that you can incorporate into your child’s play space.

   

Montessori style grasping toys Montessori (rolling cylinder) Textures basket Containers to be opened and closed.

Recycled food containers are great for this.  Art table. Add crayons, paper, stickers, and scissors in neat containers. You can opt for washable crayons, for easier cleanup.

        

Dress up basket. Collect old clothes, costumes, scarves etc.

Nature tray. Go outside and pick up a few leaves, pinecones, rocks etc.

Blocks Cars or trains Books Musical instruments Kitchen with play food, pots and pans, broom and dust pan, and dust rag.

Puzzles Sensory materials that your child can put her hands in. Offer different spoons, cups or other tools for her to manipulate the materials with. Some ideas: sand, rice, water, beans, play dough.  Sorting or matching trays.

How to Cultivate Self-Directed Play Observe and follow your child as they explore their surroundings. You will learn more about which materials she enjoys and which ones she ignores (those can be put away).

Resist the urge to help. Allow your child to struggle a bit. It’s all part of learning. Don’t show them the “right way” to use a material. Let them explore! If you choose materials that are age appropriate then your child will be able to use them without your help anyway. There will be times when you may need to offer some support and that’s ok too.

Don’t interrupt. Children are doing very important work when they are playing. When you let them explore their environment on their own terms they are learning that what they are interested in is worth being interested in.

Trust him. Let him decide what to play with, how to play with it, and for how long. Some days he may focus on one toy for a long time, others he may jump from one toy to another. Both are ok. The important thing is that he learns to follow his inner compass and develop the ability to direct his own play for long periods of time. It will take time and effort but soon you will find that your child is so focused on what she’s doing that you can read a few lines of the newspaper, get dinner started, or just relax… Phew!

What about you?

How do you limit screen time and encourage actual play in your home?

http://www.mamanatural.com/how-to-raise-a-low-media-child/

Picture this scene: You’re on the school pick up loop. You picked up child #1. He immediately begins (literally) begging you to go to his favorite pizza place for dinner, which is not going to happen for reasons known to him. Obviously a bit “hangry” (cross between hungry & angry), I suggest he take a look at the items left in his lunchbox. Oh, man, was I asking for it.

Finally, we arrive at child #2’s school. He doesn’t even ask me any questions, just launches into whining, sighing, and foot stomping the moment he hops into the car. He wants a snack, needs a snack, desperate for a snack.

I make the same suggestion: “Anything left in your lunch box? Maybe you could have a snack.”

If I hadn’t learned my lesson a few minutes ago with child #1, I learned it with child #2. Salt in the wound.

That moment, fraught with noise and overstimulation for any one trying to focus on driving, was actually quite calm. I felt a sense of peace. I knew what I needed to do.

Tip for Getting Kids to Behave in the Car The tip is so simple. It requires a bit of time so hopefully you worked in a bit of a cushion. Trust me, the learning curve is steep.

Here we go: pull over. I confidently pulled over to the side of the road (in a safe spot), turned off the engine, took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and then I waited for them to notice.

My older son stopped immediately. His younger brother looked at me with evil eyes. “I need to be able to focus on driving. So, I pulled over. As soon as you calm your body, I will continue going.�

The longer we waited on the side of the road, the prospect of satisfying any hunger seemed further and further away.

Here is the deal: my oldest son knows better. He has the self-regulation. He was caught up in the moment. He was trying to pull a fast one on me. His younger brother is working on self regulation. He is also a rigid, explosive child who (with the guidance of his parents) is training his body to recognize when his engine is high and which tools he can access to help him calm his body down. Kind of a painful process, but so gratifying to watch as he progressed. Pulling over, for him, was a trigger and it also stopped the car from moving which enabled him to sync back up with the world.

We’re in the car a lot. I need to be able to focus. My kids need to be able to learn how to control themselves. Pulling the car over to the side of the road and stopping the engine is my no fail trick to getting my kids to behave in the car. Be calm. Be confident.

Marnie

BARS and Autism & Downs My First Bars Class by Glen Shepherd “Hi my name is Glen Shepherd and just a few short weeks ago I attended my first BARS class.

Not only was this a lot of fun, I actually got to have a whole day with a group of people and it was easy and so peaceful for me that well, I’d like a whole lot more of that!

You see I have Autism of the highest degree and Downs syndrome just to go along with that so my reality is very intense in this reality What happens for me in my day-to-day life is very different than the world you move through.

Not only do I not have filters for information and so often I’m on sensory overload, I also hear many sounds all at once, so people’s conversation, sounds of air moving, doors shutting, cars driving by, people breathing, skin rubbing on skin these are all sounds that sometimes are happening at the same volume for me. I also hear what’s going on in people’s heads I see the pictures that they project and believe me they are not always pretty.

Most of the time I am humming, rocking, vibrating, grinding my teeth, flapping my hands and twisting bits of my body around in an attempt to dull that maddening feel..

My good friend Delany has been running my BARS regularly even when we’re not together and this really helps. It can bring ease and peace into my body and take the burning out of my head. Sometimes it feels like there is a fire along all those pathways inside my brain, sometimes it feels like I would like to explode, so the BARS helps me.

The day that I did my first bars class and my Mum did too it was so lovely. I got to be in a room with other people all day and it didn’t hurt and it is not that these people have everything sorted out, or me either.

Is it that when people are getting their BARS run their heads are not running at 1000 km’s an hour, they are not in constant judgement of themselves and there is gentleness that is so easy to be with?

There is so much that the BARS can change. What is possible when people are not creating from a head full of garbage that is not real? I get excited and full of happiness about all the possibilities.

There is more to say about the Bars, for now i have reached my word count so till next time please Be, it so much easier.”

My Everyday Life as an Autism Mom

By Lisa Quinones-Fontanez When my son, Norrin, was diagnosed with autism my mom told me, "you don't have to tell everyone about it. It's no one's business." I just didn't see the point of keeping it a secret. From the beginning, I was open about it, willing to talk and answer questions. And as a blogger, I really open myself up for discussion — and scrutiny.

Having a child with autism, people often have questions and opinions about what my life is like as a parent. Our parenting is often judged. From other parents, to family members, dealing with the Department of Education to the moments that matter most… here are some common reactions you may have seen from an autism mom like me.

1. On your way to (another) meeting with school district...

Meeting with the school district to discuss your child's needs and services can be stressful. But no matter how you're feeling you, you go prepared and you have your game face on.

2. How you feel when you've gotten every service you requested...

Dealing with the school district is never easy; you're basically sitting in a room full of strangers who feel they're best suited to determine the needs of your child — sometimes without actually knowing your child. Walking out victorious is worthy of a dance.

3. When your mother-in-law or some other family member says, "All your kid needs is a few months with me and I'll straighten them out."

Autism isn't something that can be beaten out of our kids or "straightened out." So if that's what you think, please keep your opinions to yourself. Thank you.

4. When a parent of a typical kid says, "Oh, that's all kids."

If my kid is having difficulty sitting down to do his homework, or separating from me, or potty training, it's not just a "kid" thing. It's often an autism thing. So don't dismiss our concerns because they are often a little more complicated.

5. When you see another online article about autism and what it may be linked to.

It seems like every other week there's some new study claiming to discover the autism link. I think the last one I read was linking autism to circumcised boys. (P.S. My son has autism and isn't circumcised.) These studies do nothing to serve our community in any way — except to scare new parents.

6. When someone says, "You really should teach them how to..."

As if we haven't tried to teach our kids how to [fill in the blank]. As if it's that easy to teach a child with autism something. But that person giving them their words of wisdom? Bless their heart...

7. "Are you sure? Your kid doesn't look autistic."

This person is trying to give your kid a compliment by pretty much saying your kid looks normal.

Autism doesn't look like anything but they don't know that‌ so you just smile and say that yes, you are quite sure.

8. When someone uses the R-word or makes a joke about kids on the short bus.

There is nothing cool or funny about using disability as the punch line or as a insult. And if you know I have a special needs kid and you use this language, be prepared for what I will say next.

9. When someone says, "Oh I saw that Temple Grandin movie. Have you seen that yet? You should."

People who don't always understand autism want a way to connect. It's nice. But most autism parents have heard of Temple Grandin. They've probably read her book and have seen her biopic or have chosen not to. The reality is, not every kid with autism will grow up to become a Temple; they won't even come close. And that's OK.

10. "Do you think the vaccines have anything to do with your child's autism?"

NO. No, no, no. Nope! Because nothing makes an autism parent feel better than being blamed.

And for the record, vaccines do not cause autism. Please educate yourself.

11. "Aren't you scared to have another baby? What if that one has autism, too?"

Yes — there WILL be someone who asks you this question. During my second pregnancy, I got this question a lot. I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks. If I ever got pregnant again, it wouldn't be autism that I'd fear.

12. When your child does something for the first time.

Having a child with autism, you watch them struggle to achieve the things that come so easily to their peers. When you see them do something for the first time, you know the work they put into it. So you laugh, you cry, you clap and tell everyone you know.

http://mom.me/lifestyle/17432-my-everyday-life-autism-mom/

49 Phrases to Calm an Anxious Child

By Renee Jain, MAPP

It happens to every child in one form or another – anxiety. As parents, we would like to shield our children from life’s anxious moments, but navigating anxiety is an essential life skill that will serve them in the years to come. In the heat of the moment, try these simple phrases to help your children identify, accept, and work through their anxious moments.

1. “Can you draw it?”

Drawing, painting or doodling about an anxiety provides kids with an outlet for their feelings when they can’t use their words.

2. “I love you. You are safe.”

Being told that you will be kept safe by the person you love the most is a powerful affirmation.

Remember, anxiety makes your children feel as if their minds and bodies are in danger.

Repeating they are safe can soothe the nervous system.

3. “Let’s pretend we’re blowing up a giant balloon. We’ll take a deep breath and blow it up to the count of 5.”

If you tell a child to take a deep breath in the middle of a panic attack, chances are you’ll hear, “I CAN’T!” Instead, make it a game. Pretend to blow up a balloon, making funny noises in the process. Taking three deep breaths and blowing them out will actually reverse the stress response in the body and may even get you a few giggles in the process.

4. “I will say something and I want you to say it exactly as I do: ‘I can do this.'” Do this 10 times at variable volume.

Marathon runners use this trick all of the time to get past “the wall.”

5. “Why do you think that is?”

This is especially helpful for older kids who can better articulate the “Why” in what they are feeling.

6. “What will happen next?”

If your children are anxious about an event, help them think through the event and identify what will come after it. Anxiety causes myopic vision, which makes life after the event seem to disappear.

7. “We are an unstoppable team.”

Separation is a powerful anxiety trigger for young children. Reassure them that you will work together, even if they can’t see you.

8. Have a battle cry: “I am a warrior!”; “I am unstoppable!”; or “Look out World, here I come!”

There is a reason why movies show people yelling before they go into battle. The physical act of yelling replaces fear with endorphins. It can also be fun.

9. “If how you feel was a monster, what would it look like?”

Giving anxiety a characterization means you take a confusing feeling and make it concrete and palpable. Once kids have a worry character, they can talk to their worry.

10. “I can’t wait until _____.”

Excitement about a future moment is contagious.

11. “Let’s put your worry on the shelf while we _____ (listen to your favorite song, run around the block, read this story). Then we’ll pick it back up again.”

Those who are anxiety-prone often feel as though they have to carry their anxiety until whatever they are anxious about is over. This is especially difficult when your children are anxious about something they cannot change in the future. Setting it aside to do something fun can help put their worries into perspective.

12. “This feeling will go away. Let’s get comfortable until it does.”

The act of getting comfortable calms the mind as well as the body. Weightier blankets have even been shown to reduce anxiety by increasing mild physical stimuli.

13. “Let’s learn more about it.”

Let your children explore their fears by asking as many questions as they need. After all, knowledge is power.

14. “Let’s count _____.”

This distraction technique requires no advance preparation. Counting the number of people wearing boots, the number of watches, the number of kids, or the number of hats in the room requires observation and thought, both of which detract from the anxiety your child is feeling.

15. “I need you to tell me when 2 minutes have gone by.”

Time is a powerful tool when children are anxious. By watching a clock or a watch for movement, a child has a focus point other than what is happening.

16. “Close your eyes. Picture this…”

Visualization is a powerful technique used to ease pain and anxiety. Guide your child through imagining a safe, warm, happy place where they feel comfortable. If they are listening intently, the physical symptoms of anxiety will dissipate.

17. “I get scared/nervous/anxious sometimes too. It’s no fun.”

Empathy wins in many, many situations. It may even strike up a conversation with your older child about how you overcame anxiety.

18. “Let’s pull out our calm-down checklist.”

Anxiety can hijack the logical brain; carry a checklist with coping skills your child has practiced.

When the need presents itself, operate off of this checklist.

19. “You are not alone in how you feel.”

Pointing out all of the people who may share their fears and anxieties helps your child understand that overcoming anxiety is universal.

20. “Tell me the worst thing that could possibly happen.”

Once you’ve imagined the worst possible outcome of the worry, talk about the likelihood of that worst possible situation happening. Next, ask your child about the best possible outcome.

Finally, ask them about the most likely outcome. The goal of this exercise is to help a child think more accurately during their anxious experience.

21. “Worrying is helpful, sometimes.”

This seems completely counter-intuitive to tell a child that is already anxious, but pointing out why anxiety is helpful reassures your children that there isn’t something wrong with them.

22. “What does your thought bubble say?”

If your children read comics, they are familiar with thought bubbles and how they move the story along. By talking about their thoughts as third-party observers, they can gain perspective on them.

23. “Let’s find some evidence.”

Collecting evidence to support or refute your child’s reasons for anxiety helps your children see if their worries are based on fact.

24. “Let’s have a debate.”

Older children especially love this exercise because they have permission to debate their parent. Have a point, counter-point style debate about the reasons for their anxiety. You may learn a lot about their reasoning in the process.

25. “What is the first piece we need to worry about?”

Anxiety often makes mountains out of molehills. One of the most important strategies for overcoming anxiety is to break the mountain back down into manageable chunks. In doing this, we realize the entire experience isn’t causing anxiety, just one or two parts.

26. “Let’s list all of the people you love.”

Anais Nin is credited with the quote, “Anxiety is love’s greatest killer.” If that statement is true, then love is anxiety’s greatest killer as well. By recalling all of the people that your child loves and why, love will replace anxiety.

27. “Remember when…”

Competence breeds confidence. Confidence quells anxiety. Helping your children recall a time when they overcame anxiety gives them feelings of competence and thereby confidence in their abilities.

28. “I am proud of you already.”

Knowing you are pleased with their efforts, regardless of the outcome, alleviates the need to do something perfectly – a source of stress for a lot of kids.

29. “We’re going for a walk.”

Exercise relieves anxiety for up to several hours as it burns excess energy, loosens tense muscles and boosts mood. If your children can’t take a walk right now, have them run in place, bounce on a yoga ball, jump rope or stretch.

30. “Let’s watch your thought pass by.”

Ask your children to pretend the anxious thought is a train that has stopped at the station above their head. In a few minutes, like all trains, the thought will move on to its next destination.

31. “I’m taking a deep breath.”

Model a calming strategy and encourage your child to mirror you. If your children allow you, hold them to your chest so they can feel your rhythmic breathing and regulate theirs.

32. “How can I help?”

Let your children guide the situation and tell you what calming strategy or tool they prefer in this situation.

33. “This feeling will pass.”

Often, children will feel like their anxiety is never-ending. Instead of shutting down, avoiding, or squashing the worry, remind them that relief is on the way.

34. “Let’s squeeze this stress ball together.”

When your children direct their anxiety to a stress ball, they feel emotional relief. Buy a ball, keep a handful of play dough nearby or make your own homemade stress ball by filling a balloon with flour or rice.

35. “I see Widdle is worried again. Let’s teach Widdle not to worry.”

Create a character to represent the worry, such as Widdle the Worrier. Tell your child that Widdle is worried and you need to teach him some coping skills.

36. “I know this is hard.”

Acknowledge that the situation is difficult. Your validation shows your children that you respect them.

37. “I have your smell buddy right here.”

A smell buddy, fragrance necklace or diffuser can calm anxiety, especially when you fill it with lavender, sage, chamomile, sandalwood or jasmine.

38. “Tell me about it.”

Without interrupting, listen to your children talk about what’s bothering them. Talking it out can give your children time to process their thoughts and come up with a solution that works for them.

39. “You are so brave!”

Affirm your children’s ability to handle the situation, and you empower them to succeed this time.

40. “Which calming strategy do you want to use right now?”

Because each anxious situation is different, give your children the opportunity to choose the calming strategy they want to use.

41. “We’ll get through this together.”

Supporting your children with your presence and commitment can empower them to persevere until the scary situation is over.

42. “What else do you know about (scary thing)?”

When your children face a consistent anxiety, research it when they are calm. Read books about the scary thing and learn as much as possible about it. When the anxiety surfaces again, ask your children to recall what they’ve learned. This step removes power from the scary thing and empowers your child.

43. “Let’s go to your happy place.”

Visualization is an effective tool against anxiety. When your children are calm, practice this calming strategy until they are able to use it successfully during anxious moments.

44. “What do you need from me?”

Ask your children to tell you what they need. It could be a hug, space or a solution.

45. “If you gave your feeling a color, what would it be?”

Asking another person to identify what they’re feeling in the midst of anxiety is nearly impossible. But asking your children to give how they feel with a color, gives them a chance to think about how they feel relative to something simple. Follow up by asking why their feeling is that color.

46. “Let me hold you.”

Give your children a front hug, a hug from behind, or let them sit on your lap. The physical contact provides a chance for your child to relax and feel safe.

47. “Remember when you made it through XYZ?” Reminding your child of a past success will encourage them to persevere in this situation.

48. “Help me move this wall.”

Hard work, like pushing on a wall, relieves tension and emotions. Resistance bands also work.

49. “Let’s write a new story.”

Your children have written a story in their mind about how the future is going to turn out. This future makes them feel anxious. Accept their story and then ask them to come up with a few more plot lines where the story’s ending is different.

About Renee Jain, MAPP Renee Jain is an award-winning tech entrepreneur turned speaker and certified life coach. She also holds a masters in applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. Renee specializes in cultivating skills of resilience in both adults and children. Her passion is taking research-based concepts and transforming them into fun and digestible learning modules. For children, she has created one-of-a-kind anxiety relief programs at GoZen! delivered via engaging animated shorts.

If you’ve walked into any pharmacy or retail store to explore the supplement section, you would be forgiven for feeling just a little bit intimidated. Chances are that you will feel confused by the array of products presented to you.

Understanding how supplements work and which ones to take can often be confusing when you are starting out, but understanding what you actually want to achieve – whether it be general health maintenance, weight loss or building muscle - is the first step in making supplements work for you.

How do supplements differ?

Supplementation is usually packed in the most efficient delivery method, and you will commonly find them in the form of tablets, capsules, powders, gels, liquids or even in the form of bars, and can be used to boost energy, to address any dietary shortfalls and can help you prepare for and / or recover from exercise. Supplements can even be used, in the management of health related concerns.

Supplements can be split up into two categories – maintenance and performance options. When trying to determine which category to use, it is always suggested that people should first define what they are trying to achieve.

…it is always suggested that people should first define what they are trying to achieve…

Certain nutrients are difficult to obtain even in the context of a healthy diet and supplementing with them indefinitely may be necessary. This is called maintenance supplementation. For example, vitamins; minerals; botanicals; plant sterols and essential fatty acids.

Then there is performance supplementation, which most people will be familiar with. This involves taking specific nutrients, for a specific purpose, for a specific period of time, such as with snack replacements and protein options like a protein shake or protein bar.

It’s important to select supplements based on creating a foundation for good health…

Where should I start when considering supplements?

You have to start by understanding your goal. Once you know where you are, and what you want to achieve, you can then decide which category of products will best meet your needs. Often, you may find that you will use a combination of the two with a good quality multi-nutrient along with a post-workout drink like whey protein.

It is important to select supplements based on creating a foundation for good health, and from there, selecting products that either help athletic performance or support a physical goal. Following a healthy, well balanced or goal specific eating strategy that includes a variety of macronutrients from various sources, with regular exercise is critical for a balanced approach.

Who should take supplements?

Almost anyone can benefit from using maintenance or performance supplementation, whether to improve health or to assist in achieving a physical goal.

Over the years, research has shown that nutrition plays an important role in preventing diseases, but more recently we have seen an increase in the research body around performance gains. With optimal nutrition, including dietary supplements, you are able to rewrite your life story with a happier ending.

Reasons why individuals should look at using a nutritional supplements  Irregular meal intake;  Overcooking foods, or poor food selection;  Normal aging related to digestive issues;  A decline in soil diversity and quality (and consequent decline in nutrient density of foods);  A decrease in diversity of plant species consumed along with longer transit times for food to reach us;  An increase in exposure to food and environmental toxins;  Overuse of antibiotics, birth control and other medications (damaging the gut and liver);  An increase in chronic mental and physical stress levels;  A decrease in sleep quality and duration;  A reduced connection with nature and less time spent outdoors.

…daily, top-of-the-line multivitamin is very beneficial to your general wellbeing, along with a quality Omega-3…

What are the general guidelines for supplement usage?

A daily, top-of-the-line multivitamin is very beneficial to your general wellbeing, along with a quality Omega-3 supplement. There are no specific guidelines around age recommendations, but many health conscious consumers choose to make use of such products early on.”

Performance supplements are generally used in acute, short-term periods of time.

Most maintenance supplementation (vitamins/ minerals) options could be considered from a relatively early age but should definitely be introduced around winter time when the risk of infection increases.

Performance supplements are generally used in acute, short-term periods of time. This is typically supported by a healthy, well balanced, nutrient dense eating plan and regular exercise to achieve a specific physical goal like weight control or muscle gain.

… No volume of supplementation can undo a poor diet, so nutritional corrections need to be made to improve the effects and results of any supplementation…

How will I know if supplements are really working?

It’s simple, if you are feeling better, achieving your results, or seeing reductions in the prevalence of health concerns – your products are working. If not, you may need to revise the way you are approaching your strategy. Since supplementation forms a relatively small, but vital part of your diet, you will certainly have to review what you eat, the volumes consumed and the frequency of meals. No volume of supplementation can undo a poor diet, so nutritional corrections need to be made to improve the effects and results of any supplementation selected.

…your success is not solely placed on your supplements of choice. It should be placed on your nutrition and exercise strategy, with supplements simply enhancing…

The reality is that with performance supplementation, (for weight control or muscle gain), your success is not solely placed on your supplements of choice. It should be placed on your nutrition and exercise strategy, with supplements simply enhancing, improving and accelerating the rate at which you achieve those goals.

Supplements have various functions, but in essence, well developed supplements have been designed to help regain health, improve performance or to assist with recovery.

Check out the tasty and healthy USN Actilife Supplement Range Article Sourced from USN

10 Assumptions We Should Stop Making About Boys One of the things I have learned from raising 4 boys is that each child comes into this world as a completely unique person with their own personality and interests. But, I have found that there are several generalizations and assumptions that people make of boys.

By Kara Lewis 1- ALL boys are athletic One huge misconception that people have about boys is that all boys live for sports.

Newsflash! Not all boys like sports. My oldest son loves sports and would play every sport under the sun if I would let him and if time and money allowed, but my other boys are really selective of which sports they want to play or if they want to play any at all. Now, I will say that I think sports are great for both boys and girls. I lived for softball when I was young and I’ve even written about The Benefits of Playing Sports, but not every child likes sports and that is okay. If a boy doesn’t like sports, there is nothing wrong with him! We should help our children to develop the interests and talents that they have, not the ones we think they should have.

My boys are as different as they could possibly be.

I have boys who are reserved, and a boy who lives for attention and makes friends with everyone. I have boys who are athletic and a boy who would rather read. I have seen that even within the same family, kids are born with unique identities and we need to stop assuming that all boys are the same.

2- Boys need to be tough all the time Research shows that boys are just as vulnerable and sensitive or even more so than girls and we need to stop diminishing their emotions by telling them things like, “Man up”, or “Take it like a Man.” They are not men, they are boys, and when we minimize the emotions that they are feeling they might learn to hold them in and may have problems expressing themselves later on in life. It’s okay for boys to show emotion and it is okay for them to be sensitive. We should be encouraging our boys to work through their emotions and express them in a healthy way.

3-All boys are rough and tumble Not all boys love to play rough. My oldest son was never aggressive and would much rather build something cool than wrestle/play with other kids. My third son has always been an energetic kid and loves to play rough. It is fun for him to get down and wrestle. He always has scratches, bruises, etc but, I have had to explain to him that not all kids like to play rough. Having four boys has made me realize just how different each boy can be.

4- “Boys Will Be Boys” One of the main types of comments I get on my blog is that people appreciate that I can show the “good” side of raising boys and that boys are not just little hellions who can’t control themselves and who destroy everything on contact. Even the most energetic of boys can learn what is acceptable behavior and learn to be respectful of house rules and other people’s property. Boys can be taught manners and common courtesy and definitely can learn to control their “wild tendencies” if they have them.

6-If a boy plays with a doll, it will affect his gender identity I will never understand the assumption that letting a boy play with a doll could somehow affect his gender identity. My husband is very hands-on with my boys and I want my boys to be like him when they have their own children. Each of my boys played with a doll at one time or another and they loved to dress, feed, and push them in a stroller or swing. Normally this came right before or after I had a baby and they saw me and my husband doing those things with their brothers. Playing with dolls will not change their gender identity and teaching boys to be nurturing is a good thing.

7-All boys like to be dirty

5-Because my son doesn’t say much, he must be shy I consider myself an outgoing introvert. I love people and I love socializing, but I can only take so many people at a time before I need my space. A couple of my boys are the same way. They aren’t shy, but they just might not be comfortable with people that they don’t know being in their space. Now, because I know the feelings they experience in those types of moments, I have coached them on how to be polite, even if they are uncomfortable, and they are improving as they get older. When they were younger, even extended family dinners were a nightmare for us because they would get very overwhelmed with people. But, that doesn’t mean they are shy and people constantly telling them that they are can make them feel as though something is wrong with them.

This is definitely not true! I have two who love being dirty and I have two who would flip out if their hands had a little bit of dirt on them when they were younger. I still remember a visit to the beach when one of my boys was about 3 year old. He had a miserable time because he hated getting the sand on him. Some boys like things clean and some don’t mind getting right in and rolling in the dirt. My youngest loves to make “angels” in the dirt since we don’t have snow. He would live in a dirt pile if I let him, but that doesn’t mean all boys like being dirty.

9-Boys aren’t as smart, cool, fun, etc as girls.

10- Boys will all grow up, leave and never come back

You don’t have to look any further than popculture to see that boys are portrayed as less than girls in terms of smarts, wittiness, popularity, etc. Now, I am thrilled that there are wonderful movements out there that are working to empower girls, but can’t we empower girls without putting down boys?

If you look at many of the popular shows among tweens and teens, you will see that the girls are often portrayed as popular, funny, smart, etc while the boys are the class clown, the nerd or the joke of the show. We should be just as concerned about a boy’s self-esteem as we are that of girls.

I know that I am not at the point of life where my boys will be moving out any time soon (thank goodness) but one thing I hear over and over is how I won’t have anyone to take care of me when I am old because all boys move out and never look back. Luckily I have good examples in my life to show me that this doesn’t have to be true. I watched my own father serve and take care of his parents everyday until they died and I watched as my mom treated them as she would her own parents and how they embraced and loved her as their own. So, even though I don’t have experience in this subject yet, I have hope that we will stay a close family as they get older, even if we are separated by distance.

Our food should supply all the nutrients needed for providing energy, growth, building and repairing tissues and maintaining health.

By Heather Picton A marginal nutrient deficiency would not necessarily cause a severe illness, but could result in a vague feeling of not being well accompanied by a cluster of minor symptoms. Nutritional deficiencies in ADD/ADHD children could severely exacerbate the range of problems they already face. In some cases, identifying and correcting existing deficiencies have not only cleared up some of the problems but has also helped the child to cope more effectively with those that remain.

Ideally the necessary vitamins and minerals should be obtained from food in the normal diet rather than from supplementation. People with poor eating habits will usually be lacking in a range of vitamins and minerals, which explains their vast improvement when taking supplementation.

When buying supplements it is advisable to purchase a well-balanced multivitamin and mineral preparation which has a range of the required vitamins and minerals combined in the correct proportions. When purchasing a particular vitamin or mineral to correct a specific problem, time and money can be saved by first consulting a homeopath or a dietitian for specialist advice. They know the quantities that should be taken and what other vitamins and minerals ought to be taken to ensure that the body will be able to use and benefit from supplementation.

Do not throw pumpkin pips away – they are a valuable source of zinc and can be eaten fresh, dried, or roasted as a snack.

What if.. bully awareness video

Ryan Patrick Halligan (December 18, October 7, 2003)

1989

–

Ryan was an American student who committed suicide at the age of 13 after being bullied by his classmates in real life and cyber-bullying online.

According to the Associated Press, Halligan was repeatedly sent homophobic instant messages, and was "threatened, taunted and insulted incessantly". He was from Essex Junction, Vermont.

Early life Halligan was born on December 18, 1989 in Poughkeepsie, New York, the son of John P. and Kelly Halligan. His family moved to Essex Junction, Vermont, where Halligan attended Hiawatha Elementary School and, later, Albert D. Lawton Middle School.

He was described by his father as a "gentle, very sensitive soul," who experienced some developmental delays affecting speech and physical coordination in his early school years.

Although he overcame those difficulties by the fourth grade, "He still struggled; school was never easy to him, but he always showed up with a smile on his face, eager to do his best," said his father.

Bullying 1999-2000 When Halligan was 10 years old, he suffered bullying at the hands of a group of students at his school because of his learning disorder and because his passion for music (drums and guitar) and his love for drama set him apart. His father said that when Ryan told him he was being picked on, his initial response was to ignore the boys, as they were just bullying him with words. The family said later in a short documentary that Halligan enrolled in counseling, with little success. After that he moved up to middle school, where the bullying continued on and off for the next 2 years.

2002-2003 In December 2002, Ryan told his father that the bullying had started again. He asked for a Taebo Kick Boxing set for Christmas in order to learn how to defend himself. At first his father wanted to go to the school principal and sort things out, but Ryan wanted to learn how to fight, believing that complaining to the school about the boys would make things worse. After Christmas, Ryan and his father developed a routine of practicing downstairs in the basement for 2 hours every night. After Ryan had learned to handle himself, his father told him not to pick fights at school, but said that if any student ever touched him aggressively, Ryan had his father's permission to defend himself as best as he could.

In February 2003, Halligan had a fight with the bully, which was broken up by the assistant principal; after that, the bully stopped bothering the boy. Toward the end of 7th grade, Halligan told his father that he and the bully had become friends. But, after Halligan told the boy about an embarrassing examination required after he had stomach pains, he learned that the bully misused the story to spread a rumor that Halligan was gay.

Summer 2003 According to his father and news reports, during the summer of 2003, Halligan spent much of his time online, particularly on AIM and other instant messaging services.

Halligan did not tell his parents about this. During the summer, he was cyber-bullied by schoolmates who taunted him, thinking he was gay. Ryan was also bullied at school about this; his father later learned that on one occasion, Ryan ran out of the classroom in tears.

As Ryan had unintentionally archived these online conversations on his hard drive when he installed DeadAIM, his father was able to read these discussions. Ryan had deliberately saved transcripts of online exchanges in which Ashley, a popular girl whom Halligan had a crush on, pretended to like him. Later at school, she told him that he was a "loser". According to an ABC Primetime report, she had once been his friend and defended him when the bullying first started; when she became more popular in middle school, she left him behind. He found out she only pretended to like him to gain personal information about him. She copied and pasted their private exchanges into other IMs among his schoolmates to embarrass and humiliate him. Mr. Halligan said that he was proud of his son sticking up for himself.

After the girl had called him a loser, Ryan said, "It's girls like you who make me want to kill myself." His father found out about this later because it was a matter of record with the local police. Halligan's father also discovered some disturbing conversations between Ryan and a boy with a screen name he did not recognize. Halligan began communicating online with a pen-pal about suicide and death, and told him he was thinking about suicide. They had been exchanging information they had found on sites relating to death and suicide, including sites that taught them how to painlessly kill themselves. The pen-pal answered "Phew. It's about fucking time," shortly after Ryan told him he was thinking about suicide, two weeks before he killed himself. This was the last conversation he had with the pen-pal.

Halligan found out, contrary to popular belief, Ryan's pen-pal was a boy Ryan knew up until third grade when the boy and his parents moved away. When they found each other online, they reconnected.

The pen-pal had, according to Halligan's father, turned into a very negative person with a bleak outlook on life. Online the boys discussed how much they hated their popular classmates and how they made them feel. The penpal suggested suicide as a way out, writing, "If you killed yourself you would really make them feel bad." Ryan's father said that the boy was the worst possible friend that Ryan could have had at that time.

The parents acknowledged that Ryan had discussed some of his worries and brought up suicide. He had told them his report card would be bad, and worried that his parents would be disappointed in him. One night he asked his dad if he had ever thought of suicide, who responded that he had, but also said, "Ryan, imagine if I did do that. Look at all the things we would have missed out on as a family.“

Suicide and aftermath On October 7, 2003, John Halligan was away on business. Early in the morning, when family members were still sleeping, Ryan Halligan committed suicide by hanging himself. His body was found later by his older sister.

Although Halligan left no suicide note, his father learned of the cyberbullying when he accessed his son's computer. He had checked his son's yearbook first and found the faces of the bullying group scribbled out. Halligan had scribbled over the face of the ringleader (the same boy who fought Halligan, befriended him, and then started the gay rumor) so aggressively he had torn the paper. John Halligan accessed his son's computer and first learned of the cyber-bullying when his son's friends told him.

When he learned that Ashley was being blamed for Halligan's suicide, John Halligan had her brought over to his house. He reportedly said to her, "You did a bad thing, but you're not a bad person." She appeared with John Halligan on ABC's Primetime to speak out against bullying.

Although the Halligan's moved out of Vermont, she still maintains contact with them.

He confronted the bully who had started the gay rumor after he found out he had made fun of how Halligan killed himself. At first he was so angry he wanted to go to the boy's house and "crush that little jerk," but he had time to think while stuck in traffic. Halligan reportedly said to the boy, "You have no idea the amount of pain you caused my son. And you're still bullying him now even when he's defenseless and you are still lying to your parents about it. I refuse to believe that you are so cruel and that you don't have a heart." Shortly afterward the bully broke down in tears and repeatedly apologized for what he did.

John Halligan wanted to file charges against the bully but the police said there was no criminal law that covered the relevant circumstances. Halligan forgave the boy as well as Ashley. After learning the name of the penpal, Halligan's father went to his house and talked with his parents. Halligan said that he did not want the penpal to use the conversations for "something dark.“ While at the penpal's house, John Halligan learned that the boy's father never received any hard copies of the conversations. The penpal's mother came and pulled out the hard copies from under the sofa, showing them to the father for "what appeared to be the first time."

While the father was looking at the copies, the mother threw John Halligan out. Halligan said that he never got a satisfying response from the boy or his family. He still visits the boy's website, which contains several references to death and suicide.

The senior Halligan began to lobby for legislation in Vermont to improve how schools address bullying and suicide prevention. He has also given speeches to schools in various states about the story of his son and the devastating effects of cyber-bullying among teens.

Vermont enacted a Bullying Prevention Policy Law in May 2004 and later adopted a Suicide Prevention Law (Act 114) in 2005, closely following a draft submitted by Halligan's father.

The law provides measures to assist teachers and others to recognize and respond to depression and suicide risks among teens. Halligan's case has also been cited by legislators in other states proposing legislation to curb cyber-bullying.

Halligan's story was featured on a Frontline television program entitled "Growing Up Online", produced in January 2008, by WGBH-TV and distributed nationwide over PBS. In it, his father recounts his shock upon discovering the extent of the abuse his son endured, saying he believes that bullying on the internet "amplified and accelerated the hurt and pain he was trying to deal with, that started in the real world." Halligan's story has also been featured on Oprah in a report they did on a rise in homophobic teasing in schools. In addition, he presented his powerful assembly to many schools across the country. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Ryan_Halligan

The Hope Project Outreach Program Description.

This page is highlighting the plight of the forgotten people of South Africa, White squatters. We are dedicated in our quest to alleviate the suffering of children and seniors, living in squalor and poverty, forgotten by mainstream society. Without access to upliftment programs and food, hidden from the world and media, because of the colour of their skin.

Our men and woman need jobs, to take care of their children and parents, in a democracy that denies them that right, let us take hands, and take care of our own now, before its too late!

“We have families starting over again after years of unemployment, please consider donating any furniture items, from beds to appliances. Also need oil lamps and gas stoves for people who cannot afford electricity. Food, linen, crockery, cutlery etc. “

“We are so excited to announce that we have negotiated a building in the Brakpan camp that we can use as a nursery school. Our greatest concern is for the kids, so this is a huge achievement! We will be able to equip these little ones with knowledge and empower them with confidence. We require all types of schooling items for our building, please consider donating any items you may have that we could use. All reading material in Afrikaans please. This is just the beginning to many more!”

WE CAN ALL DO A LITTLE TO HELP THESE PEOPLE

FOR PEOPLE WHO WOULD LIKE TO HELP, FOLLOW THIS FACEBOOK LINK

Stem Cell Donation for life threatening blood disorders

Dread diseases like leukaemia affect people all over the world, regardless of background, location ethnicity, age or wealth.

Unfortunately Leukaemia is the most prevalent of the 12 types of Childhood Cancers; many Children need stem cell transplants if they do not respond to treatment. In South Africa though, there is on average a 1:100 000 chance of finding an unrelated match within your ethnic group.

If you become ill with a blood cancer that requires a stem cell transplant, here’s an uncomfortable fact: Your race matters. For a successful transplant, donor and recipient must have nearly identical genes directly relating to their DNA and ethnic background. It has nothing to do with your blood type.

“We need to break the myth that stem cell donation is a painful operation. We would have many more people joining the South African Bone Marrow Registry if people understood that if you are ever a match; the process is actually much like donating blood or platelets. It does not involve drilling into bones for bone marrow.” says Lauren Corlett, Head of Marketing & Communications for The Sunflower Fund.

The Sunflower Fund is committed to increasing the number of donors registered in South Africa; however needs to first raise funds to pay the test cost of new donors. At R2000 per test, The Fund relies heavily on fundraising campaigns and the public at large to assist.

There are many patients in South Africa who are currently searching for their life saving donor match. The Sunflower Fund urges healthy South Africans between the ages of 18 and 45 to join the national registry and offer HOPE to these patients.

“It is a tragic and heart-breaking reality that all too often we lose our brave fighters because they are unable to find a matching donor. We will persevere with our mission to truly make a difference” added Corlett.

With every donor The Sunflower Fund recruits, with the funds raised, with every awareness drive, we are giving a chance of life to someone’s child, someone’s parent, someone’s friend.

The Sunflower Fund needs to recruit many more donors from all ethnic groups and urges South African to stand up and make the difference. The more donors registered, the faster these matches can be found and the more lives can be saved. The Sunflower Fund pays for the expensive tissue typing tests involved, so all that is being asked of you is your time.

Did you know?

It only takes two test tubes of blood to register you as a donor.

It won’t cost you anything. The Sunflower Fund sponsors the R2000 test cost on your behalf.

Process to Register:  Call The Sunflower Fund Toll Free Number: 0800 12 10 82 and you will be asked some minor medical questions.  Your form will be completed telephonically and you will be emailed your individual registration form.  Take this form to the closest SANBS, Pathcare or Western Province Blood Transfusion Services clinic and two small test tubes of blood will be drawn.  Your blood is analysed in the lab and you will be registered on the South Africa Bone Marrow Registry.

If you are ever found to be a match, what is the process?

The process to donate stem cells is no more invasive than donating blood where you are linked to a blood separating machine for four to six hours.

The precious stem cells are filtered out of your blood and your own blood then returned to you. There is no drilling into your bones for bone marrow.

You are able to go home immediately afterwards.

For more information on The Sunflower Fund call toll free 0800 12 10 82 or visit www.sunflowerfund.org.za

By Lauren Corlett Head of Marketing & Communications The Sunflower Fund (021) 701 0661

BEAUTIFUL YOU was a whisper I continually heard from within my spirit from the tender age of 5. I realized that this was the Plan and Purpose for my life; this was a Gift from God. ‘HOPE IS WHERE THE HEART IS’.

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Feeding elderly and orphans Provision of food and toiletry hampers Provision of second hand clothing Counseling of victims Upliftment and education

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Help by donating... CLICK HERE Contact Us Tel: 032 9415 012 Cell: 072 135 0545 / 082 085 7772 Email: info@beautifulyoucharity.co.za

Jenita Maharaj is a finalist in Margaret Hirsch’s Women in Business for her charity work.

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Monthly Provision of food hampers and meals to orphans Shoes and food to the elderly Clothes to the elderly Linen to the elderly Community service training to the Youth Partnering with different organizations to assist the underprivileged Social facilitation of rape crisis HIV Aids assistance Gender based violence projects in Sisonke District Municipality

PROUDLY SPONSORED BY

By Jenita Maharaj Finalist in Margaret Hirsch’s Women in Business for her charity work.

BEAUTIFUL YOU was a whisper I continually heard from within my spirit from the tender age of 5. I realized that this was the Plan and Purpose for my life; this was a Gift from God. ‘HOPE IS WHERE THE HEART IS’, is a saying that I constantly heard in my spirit. To me this meant that wherever there is true love, there is hope and true love conquers all hopelessness.

I looked at my single mom and was filled with heartache and planned fervently to help single women with children, to give them “petals of hope”. We grew up with an absent dad but realized that our true father was our Heavenly Father and with this revelation I went from a victim to a victor.

I would like to believe I have matured into a woman of worth through life’s trials. I am of the mindset that no matter what circumstance comes your way, use it to educate you, use it to empower you and use it to strengthen. Do not allow it to destroy you. You, as an individual, hold the power to choose which way you want to go. Choose wisely, choose life.

My dreams and plans are one in the same, to make a positive difference in the lives of those that I come into contact with through the various charities, businesses, my book and ordinary day to day living. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one solitary step. If the other foot does not follow then we go nowhere, however, if it does follow we can go around the world and further.

I believe that a Woman is the heart and foundation of all families and she is the one that can make or break a home. Beautiful You, hopes to bring together women from all walks of life, those that are in need and those that will provide support and ‘fill the gaps’, thereby empowering and educating them thus ending up with empowered and prayerful women who will spread joy, love and peace into their homes and this will most definitely lead to a better society.

A woman is a mother, a wife, a teacher, a homemaker, a doctor, a miracle worker, a superhero and in many cases, a father. In the world we live today, there are many problems that each of us encounter day by day. Society is in meltdown. Ill-discipline is rife, Love is in short supply and crime is rampant.

Each and every hero or criminal is born of a woman. Every genius or psychotic is born of a woman. The difference in the outcome of their lives is how they were loved, nurtured and disciplined.

Beautiful You is determined to empower the lives of all women, to show each and every woman their worth and the outcome will be that each participant will then be an ambassador that will continue to spread the teachings, experience and knowledge that they will be empowered with. The end result will be a better person, a better family, a better community, a better city, a better country culminating in A BETTER WORLD. Is this not what we all need???

A strong appeal from the owner of Vondis

By Paul Jacobson

Education is the path to enlightenment and with enlightenment we can derive at the correct and informed decisions.

I have no doubt that most consumers, nowadays, acknowledge the benefits that are derived from a healthy life style. I have no doubt that we all understand that a wholesome diet, preferably organic, has a major impact on well being, health and longevity. The conscientious shopper also now looks for grooming products and remedies that are free from chemicals and poisons.

I also have no doubt that with the enforcement of the Consumer Protection Act, we have become more familiar with understanding product labels and we have become more vigilant when it comes to accepting some of the dubious ingredients that are listed therein.

Yet, and this seriously confuses me, when it comes to caring for our dear beloved companion animals we do NOT apply the same and equal health principles. Is this because the naming of this living being, “cat and dog” is so dry and insensitive? Does it not evoke emotion and passion? Worldwide pet guardians are referring to their animals as “beloved companions”, “members of the family”, “fury children”, “our babies”.

Perhaps then, the treatment of our animals will be no different to the way that we look after ourselves and that the same principles of healthy living that we strive for, will apply to our “fury friends”.

Yet, for now:  We are throwing food in a bowl that is highly preserved, that sits unaffected in it packaging for 24 months.

This despite us understanding the inherent negativities of preservatives.  We are feeding a diet that is highly processed and is exposed to cooking temperatures reaching 200 degrees. This, even though we know that vitamins, minerals and protein structures are denatured when exposed to heat.  Despite us following various diets, Prof Tim Noakes, Paleo, Atkinson’s, etc which all warn against refined carbs, when it comes to feeding our pets we throw down dried food that is mainly carbs. We know refined carb are acidic in nature and likely to affect skin allergies and arthritis and yet we still persist.  We are feeding a dry diet that is devoid of moisture, even though our cats and dogs are struggling with renal and bladder complications.  We have forgotten how we used to bond with our parents at the dinner table, enjoying moms favorite spaghetti bolognaise, Indian curry, tomato bolognaise. Now we throw down food for our pets without love and attentions and yet we still expect respect and good behavior.  We are even applying flea poisons despite the warning on the packaging that this could be extremely harmful if comes in contact with your skin and that it is advised not to pat your “furry friends” for 48 hours. This despite the fact that after reading the labeling we understand that the active ingredients are a harmful poison.

Now if our companion animals were in prime condition and not struggling with skin aliments, digestive issues, cancer, diabetes, renal complications, arthritis, obesity, heart decease, epilepsy and behavioral issues, then perhaps there would be no need to write this editorial piece. The reality is that almost every pet is struggling with an array of human ailments and that longevity has been reduced.

Changing your own life style and diet is always difficult. It is even harder when one has to make changes that affect the well – being of your companion animals. I believe that the psychological terminology for this conflict of change is called “cognitive dissonance”. However, it is necessary, ethical and fair and in deriving at the correct decision and enlightenment, the responsible consumer and pet guardian should apply these three basic mediums: 1.

midst all the marketing jargon one should apply logic, common sense, intuition and gut feel.

2.

there is a wealth of knowledge on the net and in printed material that it is inexcusable not to undertake the necessary research

3.

in an environment when corporate have become zealous without consideration for the public nor environment, the responsible consumer must understand labeling and ingredients. You have the right to know!!

I have no doubt that for most we understand the principles of healthy living and the benefits derived there from. I therefore, have no doubt that if we deem our pets to be companions and members of our family and that we have applied the mediums above, then we MUST derive at the conclusion that “natural” in better than “unnatural”, that wholesome foods are better than processed and that “preservative and chemical free diets and remedies” are a better option than preserved and chemically based.

Books for Children

Unstoppable Me by Wayne Dyer ISBN 9781401911867 Following in the footsteps of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s first children’s book, the bestseller Incredible You! this work goes even further toward expressing Wayne’s positive message for children. In Unstoppable Me! Dr. Dyer teaches children how to hold on to the no-limit thinking he believes they were born with, rather than just trying to “fit in.” In doing so, they can learn to truly enjoy life and become unstoppable as they strive to attain their dreams.

The 10 important lessons in this book include the value of taking risks, dealing with stress and anxiety, and learning to enjoy each moment. Each point includes an example showing how a child might apply the concept in his or her everyday life. Similar to Incredible You! there are questions at the end of the book to help spark discussion and to further reinforce Wayne’s message.

Oversized book (9 x 10.5) with full-color illustrations throughout. This is Dr. Dyer's second children's book.

Tiger-Tiger, Is It True - Four Questions by Byron Katie ISBN 9781401925604 Tiger-Tiger, Is It True? is a story about a little tiger who thinks that his whole world is falling apart: his parents don’t love him, his friends have abandoned him, and life is unfair. But a wise turtle asks him four questions, and everything changes. He realizes that all his problems are not caused by things, but by his thoughts about things; and that when he questions his thoughts, life becomes wonderful again. This is a heartwarming story with a powerful message that can transform the lives of even very young children.

Byron Katie’s wisdom-filled words and Hans Wilhelm’s vivid, magical illustrations combine to make a book that will become one of the classics of children’s literature. For ages 4-10

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